Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,490
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:21,990
NARRATOR: In late 1986, a 55
gallon drum of highly toxic
3
00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:25,090
experimental chemical
warfare nuclear waste
4
00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:27,400
was rumored to be missing
from a high security
5
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,320
warehouse facility at Fort
Henry Dicker, Maryland.
6
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,570
After many denials,
it was finally
7
00:00:33,570 --> 00:00:35,790
admitted by top
Pentagon officials
8
00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:40,170
that indeed one drum of the
biohazard was unaccounted for.
9
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:42,710
Fort Dicker spokesperson
Brigadier General John
10
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,350
Gillis maintains
that this barrel
11
00:00:45,350 --> 00:00:47,920
poses no human health threat.
12
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,260
Retired Fort Dicker
scientist Dr. Roger Soriano
13
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:54,460
when asked to comment,
replied that this one
14
00:00:54,460 --> 00:00:58,120
particular barrel could
mean the end of life
15
00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,120
as we know it on this planet.
16
00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:04,310
[MUSIC PLAYING]
17
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,000
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
18
00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:39,440
[LAUGHTER ECHOING]
19
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,690
Ooh!
ORDERLY: Son of a bitch.
20
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:06,390
[SLAPPING]
21
00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:08,390
ORDERLY: Get him
down the hall, quick.
22
00:02:11,380 --> 00:02:12,880
[LAUGHTER ECHOING]
23
00:02:45,270 --> 00:02:47,710
[DOOR OPENS]
24
00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,210
DR KILDARE: So that's her, huh?
25
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:49,930
Yes.
26
00:02:49,930 --> 00:02:52,190
Quite a disturbing case.
27
00:02:52,190 --> 00:02:54,070
And what's the prognosis?
28
00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:56,220
Our patient seems
to be suffering
29
00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:59,510
from an acute effective
paranoid psychosis
30
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:03,260
with complications of
schizophrenic melanomic edema.
31
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:05,880
At least that's the
preliminary indication.
32
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,350
Well, there must be some
way to break through it.
33
00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:10,350
What the hell happened up there?
34
00:03:10,350 --> 00:03:13,220
No one knows, but
whatever it was,
35
00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:17,070
it must have been the
epitome of horror.
36
00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:20,150
Well, do we have time for
nine holes before surgery?
37
00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:21,430
Oh, yes.
38
00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:23,100
Let's play at your club.
39
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,710
Mine doesn't allow Jews.
40
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:28,430
Well, what's your hitting
average these days, Sven?
41
00:03:28,430 --> 00:03:30,470
I'll go back to 16.
42
00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:31,940
16?
43
00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:33,880
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
44
00:04:00,590 --> 00:04:01,970
[VOICE ECHOING]
45
00:04:10,910 --> 00:04:12,860
[INAUDIBLE ECHOING]
46
00:04:39,630 --> 00:04:41,620
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
47
00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:07,870
[MUSIC ON RADIO]
48
00:06:07,870 --> 00:06:10,250
It's messing with my
head driving this shit
49
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,260
from one dump to another.
50
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,950
Just don't make no sense.
51
00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:16,470
Can't keep it in
Cumberlink because it's
52
00:06:16,470 --> 00:06:18,530
too close to the
river, so it's got
53
00:06:18,530 --> 00:06:21,890
to go to [INAUDIBLE] where
it'll be too close to the ocean.
54
00:06:21,890 --> 00:06:24,140
Can you believe that, Hoss?
55
00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:26,270
So now here I am in
the middle of redneck
56
00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:30,200
nowhere with a few stripes
and a short straw playing
57
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,520
nursemaid to a god damn tin can
full of chemical toxic warfare
58
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,190
waste.
[STATIC]
59
00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:36,640
Oh, shit.
60
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,580
PREACHER (ON RADIO): And
the Lord, I said the Lord
61
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:41,490
has made men equal in his eyes.
62
00:06:41,490 --> 00:06:45,220
We are all brothers, and that
is why we must be rid, I say,
63
00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:48,920
must be rid of those who
would disgrace brotherhood.
64
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,560
We must smite the niggers
and chase the [INAUDIBLE]
65
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,210
Bastards from off...
Fuck you.
66
00:06:57,830 --> 00:07:01,200
Now, let's see, I'm sure
this splotch right here
67
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,550
is that tree right over there.
68
00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:05,550
I think that splotch
is a tobacco stain.
69
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,550
That old man dribbled like
a Harlem globetrotter.
70
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:09,680
BOB: Hell, he was missing so
many teeth it looked like Mr
71
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,140
T did a workout on his face.
72
00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:13,600
Well I pity the fool who
don't cut the bullshit
73
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,670
and find a trail
before we die out here.
74
00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:18,130
Unless you can't
find it, Wilbur.
75
00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:20,540
I'll find it, don't you
worry none little lady.
76
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:25,090
I'm sure that this splotch
is that tree, dickhead.
77
00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:27,410
Which means this scraw
is probably that fence.
78
00:07:34,140 --> 00:07:36,200
Which means the trail
is right over here.
79
00:07:40,430 --> 00:07:41,330
Hot damn!
80
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:42,890
Hallelujah.
81
00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:45,220
Hey, don't be singing no
spirituals now, Theresa.
82
00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:48,170
I'll tell you what, I'll just
sing about redneck white boys
83
00:07:48,170 --> 00:07:51,540
who a pain in they own ass.
84
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:53,390
Are we going to stand
here and slap gums,
85
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,120
or are we going to get into
some serious wilderness?
86
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,630
Well how about we stay?
87
00:07:56,630 --> 00:07:57,790
Eat me, Bob.
88
00:07:57,790 --> 00:08:00,560
- No, baby, I don't do that shit.
- I know.
89
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,460
Come on, let's
get a move on so we
90
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:04,530
can have camp set before dark.
91
00:08:04,530 --> 00:08:06,700
All this and brains, too.
92
00:08:17,350 --> 00:08:19,230
WILBUR: How are you
feeling, Andrew?
93
00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:21,070
Finer than frog's hair, Wilbur.
94
00:08:21,070 --> 00:08:22,580
Well, come on, Mr. Clean.
95
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:25,550
I don't know why you're always
knocking my personal hygiene.
96
00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:27,330
The odor emanating from
your upper pubic hairs
97
00:08:27,330 --> 00:08:29,870
could knock The Terminator
off a shit wagon.
98
00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:31,040
Maybe you should try some.
99
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,450
I mean, what's it going to do,
make you dissolve or something?
100
00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:34,750
- Think I should?
- Yeah, sure.
101
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:37,520
Keep it.
Don't worry, I've got plenty.
102
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,080
Listen, you were just kidding
about my pubes, weren't you?
103
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:40,780
Yeah, sure.
104
00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:44,760
Don't worry, anyway,
that'll take care of it.
105
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,720
Oh, man, I been
talking your ears off
106
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,620
and I haven't even
offered you a huff.
107
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:49,470
How about it?
108
00:08:49,470 --> 00:08:52,240
You want to hit a joint?
109
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,610
[BURP]
110
00:08:53,610 --> 00:08:56,000
Just what I thought you'd said.
111
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,160
Here you go.
112
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,640
[RADIO STATIC]
113
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,050
TYRONE: [INAUDIBLE]
114
00:09:07,050 --> 00:09:08,540
[DOG BARKING]
115
00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:22,820
Shit on a toadstool.
116
00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:23,800
Watch it.
117
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:48,530
Phew, no leaks.
118
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:55,610
Get off my land!
119
00:09:55,610 --> 00:09:58,910
Get off my soil.
120
00:09:58,910 --> 00:09:59,810
Uh, whoa.
121
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:00,570
Be cool, yo.
122
00:10:00,570 --> 00:10:02,840
I just lost some shit here.
123
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:06,360
And I don't need no revenuers
poking around in my business.
124
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,360
Now, get!
125
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,970
Look here, slim, I
just need my barrel.
126
00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:17,710
Now what we have here is
a failure to communicate.
127
00:10:17,710 --> 00:10:19,710
Bitch!
128
00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:21,200
[GUNSHOT]
129
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:52,400
Do not open till Christmas.
130
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:04,100
[GUN COCKS]
131
00:11:06,610 --> 00:11:09,700
Jed, Junior, Jethro, Billy Bob.
132
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:12,910
Elly May to you, coon shit.
133
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:13,870
Right.
134
00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:15,670
What did you do to our still?
135
00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,300
Still?
136
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:19,960
Uh, I didn't shoot your still.
137
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,640
Anyways, it was an accident.
138
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,480
You see, I was walking up the
road and I dropped my gun,
139
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:28,920
and it went off
three or four times.
140
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,580
You know we promised all the
swill they could drink down
141
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,230
in the valley before
you got into town,
142
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:35,450
and you shot up our still.
143
00:11:35,450 --> 00:11:38,480
So now I think we're going
to have to use your still
144
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,070
to deliver.
145
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:42,140
My still?
146
00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:43,900
You want to use my still?
147
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:45,910
My still ain't no good.
148
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,300
You said so a thousand
times yourself.
149
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:50,950
Ferd Mertz, your
still ain't no good.
150
00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:53,880
Tell you what, look
what I got for you here.
151
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,800
Brand new still.
152
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,440
One of them European jobs.
153
00:11:58,440 --> 00:11:59,150
Slick.
154
00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:00,170
Look at that.
155
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:01,770
Sturdy, kick them rims.
156
00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:05,140
Yeah, this still
work good for you.
157
00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:06,820
And look at that paint job.
158
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:08,450
Young, fast.
159
00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:10,260
Does have a nice paint job.
160
00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:13,170
And all this can be yours,
seeing you need it so bad,
161
00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:15,470
cuz I'm your friend, Ferd.
162
00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:16,730
Let's buy it, daddy.
163
00:12:19,630 --> 00:12:22,460
Well, OK, but if you ever
mess around our still again,
164
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:25,010
Ferd Mertz, you're going
to be picking buckshot
165
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:27,270
from where the sun don't shine.
166
00:12:27,270 --> 00:12:28,430
You mean Antarctica?
167
00:12:28,430 --> 00:12:29,940
JED: Get!
168
00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:32,120
Well the sun don't
shine in Antarctica.
169
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,650
All they got down there are
them funny little penguins
170
00:12:34,650 --> 00:12:36,980
and those big polar bears.
Grr!
171
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:37,980
Ahh!
172
00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:38,840
Scared myself.
173
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:46,910
Gee, daddy, why didn't
we shoot that vermin?
174
00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:49,400
Yeah, we should've
filled him full of holes.
175
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,830
Yeah, we should've
plugerized him.
176
00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:52,530
Oh now, come on, boys.
177
00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:54,600
I taught you all
better than that.
178
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,280
Just because old Ferd's
got polecat shit for brains
179
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,220
don't mean he'd be all bad.
180
00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:02,810
Oh sure, I do get my
dander up once in a while.
181
00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:07,070
And maybe I do feel like
blowing a hole in his ass.
182
00:13:07,070 --> 00:13:09,510
But he did give us
this nice barrel here.
183
00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:13,290
And well, sometimes you
just gotta do what's right.
184
00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:16,780
Doesn't mean you
have to like it.
185
00:13:16,780 --> 00:13:17,590
Huh?
186
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:18,960
Shut up!
187
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:19,950
You're right, daddy.
188
00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:24,450
Dang.
189
00:13:24,450 --> 00:13:27,080
That thing's heavier
than a cement yule.
190
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,430
Go get our new truck, Billy Bob.
191
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:32,070
How many times do I
have to tell you, daddy?
192
00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:34,120
Call me Elly May.
193
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,570
All right, dag nabit!
194
00:13:35,570 --> 00:13:40,220
Go get the new truck, Elly
May, before I tan your hide.
195
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:44,030
Gee, daddy, why does Billy Bob
want us to call him Elly May?
196
00:13:44,030 --> 00:13:45,460
Well, Junior...
197
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:46,990
I'm Jethro, Pa.
198
00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:49,150
I'm Junior.
199
00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:56,790
Well, Jethro, your brother's
kinda funny and oh, never mind.
200
00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:59,550
I never should've bought that
dang satellite TV anyhow.
201
00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:00,800
I like that satellite TV.
202
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:01,500
Me, too.
203
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,380
I like it.
204
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:04,080
I like Jeckyl and Jeckyl.
205
00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:11,130
[ARGUING]
206
00:14:17,950 --> 00:14:18,650
You bitch!
207
00:14:22,870 --> 00:14:25,620
You boys hurry up
with that thing.
208
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:28,880
We got work ahead of us if
we're going to get that mash
209
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,510
delivered in town by tonight.
210
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:38,970
Oh, you've been a good
old girl to us, Florey.
211
00:14:38,970 --> 00:14:43,070
But I guess I
gotta put you down.
212
00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:44,910
I hate to do it, you know?
213
00:14:44,910 --> 00:14:48,540
But it... it's like my daddy
used to say to me before he
214
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:51,250
got run over by that tractor.
215
00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:54,450
Sometimes life sucks.
216
00:14:54,450 --> 00:14:56,140
Well you boys hurry up?
217
00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:57,310
Now get a move on.
218
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:58,080
We ain't got all night.
219
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,800
- Jethro, come on.
- Ow!
220
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,500
Oh!
221
00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:06,290
Ow!
222
00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:07,670
Oh, my foot.
223
00:15:07,670 --> 00:15:10,220
Quit your whining, Junior.
224
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:11,640
I'm Jethro, Pa.
225
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,350
Oh, quit your whining anyhow.
226
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:15,300
Now get the dang
thing opened up.
227
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,200
What do you suppose
is inside, Pa, huh?
228
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,330
Well, my guess is
that it's either
229
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:22,850
bleach, iodine, or fertilizer.
230
00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:23,910
Ooh, I hope it's fertilizer.
231
00:15:23,910 --> 00:15:24,840
I like fertilizer.
232
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,360
Me, too, Pa.
233
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,090
Ow!
234
00:15:28,090 --> 00:15:29,060
What'd I do?
235
00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:30,220
Oh, never mind.
236
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:33,180
Now just get the dang
thing opened up, Billy Bob.
237
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:35,080
Elly May, daddy.
238
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:36,590
I asked you nice.
239
00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:41,900
You sure weird, boy.
240
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:45,310
Must take after your
Ma's side of the family.
241
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,600
Now get to work, Elly May.
242
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,060
[DOG BARKING]
243
00:16:19,290 --> 00:16:19,990
Wait a minute.
244
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:25,050
OK.
245
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,680
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
246
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:07,340
What is it, Daddy?
247
00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:09,090
Yeah, Pa, what is it?
248
00:17:15,810 --> 00:17:22,120
Well, uh, it looks
like fertilizer.
249
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:28,850
Smells like iodine with
a piss of bleach in it.
250
00:17:28,850 --> 00:17:30,250
Hmm.
251
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,580
Maybe it's all of them, Daddy.
252
00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:35,430
Well, whatever it
is, it better taste
253
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,570
good because you splattered it
all over the corn squeezings,
254
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,730
you otter ass.
255
00:17:40,730 --> 00:17:42,720
I'm sorry, Daddy.
256
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,220
[BELL DINGS]
257
00:17:44,220 --> 00:17:46,110
Daddy, Daddy, it's
the tobacco man!
258
00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:47,640
Give us some money, Daddy!
259
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:52,100
Hurry, Daddy, before he leaves.
260
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,730
Hold your pants on, boys.
261
00:17:54,730 --> 00:17:56,290
He ain't going nowhere.
262
00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:03,700
Here's your money.
263
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:08,900
And I want you to go ahead
get some tobacco for my pipe.
264
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:09,600
Yeah!
265
00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:15,090
[BELL DINGING]
266
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:29,840
Hi, Mr tobacco man.
How are you...
267
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:30,680
Hi, Mr tobacco man!
268
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,730
Hi, Mr tobacco man!
269
00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:38,420
I've been waiting
for you, boys.
270
00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:39,480
I've been waiting.
271
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,730
What'll it be today, boys?
272
00:18:46,730 --> 00:18:48,080
[LAUGHING]
273
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:52,660
I got dip for the gum,
snuff for the nose.
274
00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:57,350
I got roll your own smokes
and a new fangled machine
275
00:18:57,350 --> 00:19:00,080
that rolls them for you.
276
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,980
I even got pellets that
taste like licorice.
277
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:05,990
Don't have to spit them out.
278
00:19:05,990 --> 00:19:08,400
Just let it dissolve.
279
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,360
Oh, they good.
280
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,860
They good for young
ones just like you.
281
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,700
What'll it be, boys?
282
00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:15,620
Dip, dip!
283
00:19:15,620 --> 00:19:19,830
We want dip and flake
for Daddy's pipe!
284
00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:21,820
All right, boys.
285
00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:29,670
Here's your dip.
286
00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:40,500
And here's the flake
for your daddy's pipe.
287
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:41,990
[CHUCKLING]
288
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,450
Thank you!
We love our dip!
289
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:05,950
We love our dip.
290
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:06,940
Yeah, we do!
291
00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:09,950
Run along now, boys.
292
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:16,430
I know you like my dip,
but dark times are coming.
293
00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:19,910
You'll like my dip
for a long time.
294
00:20:19,910 --> 00:20:24,890
You'll be loving it just
for the rest of your lives.
295
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:30,500
Someday you'll want to stop,
but you won't be able to.
296
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:35,750
Your gums'll start
hurting, start bleeding.
297
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:39,880
They'll wear down and show
the bottoms of your teeth.
298
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,890
Then your teeth will fall out.
299
00:20:42,890 --> 00:20:44,740
You'll cry.
300
00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:48,960
[CHUCKLES] But you won't stop.
301
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,730
You'll just keep on
dipping, and packing,
302
00:20:52,730 --> 00:20:54,940
and packing, and dipping.
303
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:58,950
Your mouth will start
hurting, start burning.
304
00:20:58,950 --> 00:21:00,040
It'll grow.
305
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,300
It'll get out of shape.
306
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:05,710
And you'll go to one of
them big city doctors
307
00:21:05,710 --> 00:21:09,630
and he'll cut half
your face off.
308
00:21:09,630 --> 00:21:11,260
Now it'll happen.
309
00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:14,200
It'll kill you, sorry as shit.
310
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,000
[LAUGHING]
311
00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:25,080
But in your death, it'll
still be in your mouths.
312
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,500
[LAUGHING]
313
00:21:32,940 --> 00:21:38,790
For your sake, I
hope it happens fast.
314
00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:43,120
It's dark times a coming.
315
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:46,010
No long wait.
316
00:21:46,010 --> 00:21:48,720
Just around the corner.
317
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,000
You'll see.
318
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,640
You'll see.
319
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,230
Look, studies prove it.
320
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:56,300
No.
321
00:21:56,300 --> 00:21:58,410
Listen, one ounce
has more protein
322
00:21:58,410 --> 00:21:59,780
than a five ounce t-bone.
323
00:21:59,780 --> 00:22:00,920
Sure.
324
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,410
It's good for your skin.
325
00:22:02,410 --> 00:22:05,370
It's a natural
amphetamine and, uh, I
326
00:22:05,370 --> 00:22:08,190
have it on good authority
that it tastes exactly
327
00:22:08,190 --> 00:22:09,870
like a pineapple daiquiri.
328
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:11,940
OK, I'll try it tonight.
329
00:22:11,940 --> 00:22:13,810
But if I don't like it,
it'll be the last time.
330
00:22:13,810 --> 00:22:15,280
Yeah!
331
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,630
Come on, let's take a break.
332
00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:20,520
I thought you were in a
hurry to get to the campsite?
333
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,410
Come on, Wilbur.
We're not marching for town.
334
00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:23,720
Give us a fucking break.
335
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,740
Yeah, we don't want
to get too tired.
336
00:22:25,740 --> 00:22:27,510
Well, what do you say
we take a little nap?
337
00:22:27,510 --> 00:22:30,300
Ooh, what do you say
we take a big nap, baby?
338
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,590
You know, I understand
you have to exercise
339
00:22:32,590 --> 00:22:33,840
your manly hydraulics.
340
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,340
But, uh, if you ever want
to get to the campsite,
341
00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:38,080
you better come
on down the trail.
342
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:41,350
What's the matter with
this place, since it's here?
343
00:22:41,350 --> 00:22:43,800
Yeah, it's a lot closer
than anywhere else.
344
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,700
WILBUR: This place
is beaver shit, man!
345
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:47,500
Besides, the place
I'm taking you to
346
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:51,690
is nicer than a debutante's
ass shining in the moonlight.
347
00:22:51,690 --> 00:22:53,160
Yeah, if it's still there.
348
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,690
I'm sure it's still there.
349
00:22:54,690 --> 00:22:58,040
My dad used to camp there when
he was knee high to a piss ant.
350
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,040
Besides, that's, uh, where
my dad first nailed my mom.
351
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,880
Wilbur, who told you that?
352
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:03,710
My grandpa.
353
00:23:03,710 --> 00:23:06,580
Ah, yes, sweet
redneck memories.
354
00:23:06,580 --> 00:23:07,970
Anyway, you're gonna
love this place.
355
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:11,850
It's a dynamite camping spot,
and it's got a pond to piss in.
356
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:13,200
Oh, sounds wonderful.
357
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,820
Yeah, when you see
it you'll wonder why
358
00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:16,810
you ever went anywhere else.
359
00:23:16,810 --> 00:23:19,220
Huh, I'm beginning to wonder
why I ever wanted to go here.
360
00:23:19,220 --> 00:23:22,300
Oh, blow it out your ass.
361
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:23,200
[FARTS]
362
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,240
- Damn, [INAUDIBLE].
- Come on.
363
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,080
We better get going, you know,
before the trees start dying.
364
00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:38,910
Soldier, front and center, now!
365
00:23:38,910 --> 00:23:40,800
You lost the barrel.
366
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,040
Have you lost your mind?
367
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:43,430
Uh...
368
00:23:43,430 --> 00:23:45,110
Do you know what's
in that barrel?
369
00:23:45,110 --> 00:23:46,980
Uh, but...
370
00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:48,320
Do you know where you lost it?
371
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,750
Uh, yes, sir.
372
00:23:49,750 --> 00:23:53,100
Well, Robinson, why
don't you go pick it up?
373
00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:55,500
Well, sir, there's this fat
redneck elephant with a gun.
374
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,800
I mean, this fat redneck
with an elephant gun.
375
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,540
Run, son!
376
00:23:59,540 --> 00:24:02,750
Unless you want your ass
hanging in the stockade,
377
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:05,710
you better get your ass back out
there and get me that barrel.
378
00:24:05,710 --> 00:24:06,500
Uh, yes, sir.
379
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:07,930
Can I take [INAUDIBLE], sir?
380
00:24:07,930 --> 00:24:10,960
Robinson, for what's
in that barrel,
381
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,240
you can take the whole
motherfucking army.
382
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,120
Robinson, where's your blouse?
383
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:21,720
In the jeep, sir.
384
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:26,110
You're a disgrace to
the uniform, Robinson.
385
00:24:26,110 --> 00:24:27,660
Dismissed!
386
00:24:27,660 --> 00:24:30,170
Yes, sir.
387
00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:32,160
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
388
00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:45,180
Well I'll be damned.
389
00:25:45,180 --> 00:25:46,070
You said it.
390
00:25:46,070 --> 00:25:48,850
Here it is.
391
00:25:48,850 --> 00:25:51,770
LISA: (SARCASTICALLY)
Well this is really nice.
392
00:25:51,770 --> 00:25:54,120
THERESA: Ground
looks comfortable.
393
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:55,930
ANDY: There's nice shade.
394
00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:57,500
WILBUR: Yeah, and
a pond to piss in.
395
00:25:57,500 --> 00:26:00,270
LISA: It looks like a
clay based sinkhole.
396
00:26:00,270 --> 00:26:01,770
Come on, let's set up.
397
00:26:06,420 --> 00:26:09,240
Well, all done, boys.
398
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,550
Well, gotta go.
399
00:26:12,550 --> 00:26:14,570
Where are you going?
400
00:26:14,570 --> 00:26:16,420
I'm going fishing.
401
00:26:16,420 --> 00:26:17,590
Got worms?
402
00:26:17,590 --> 00:26:19,230
Yeah, but I'm going anyway.
403
00:26:19,230 --> 00:26:20,470
Now wait a minute, boys.
404
00:26:20,470 --> 00:26:22,760
As I seem to
recollect, Elly May,
405
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,990
it's your turn to
do the delivering.
406
00:26:24,990 --> 00:26:25,750
But, Pa!
407
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,200
Shut up, hog bowl.
408
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,530
Yeah, opossum nut.
409
00:26:28,530 --> 00:26:32,130
Yeah, turtle, uh...
410
00:26:32,130 --> 00:26:33,290
But, Pa, that's
going to take me
411
00:26:33,290 --> 00:26:34,680
all night to deliver all this.
412
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,180
Quit your belly aching,
Elly May, or else
413
00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:39,550
I ain't going to save
any mash for you.
414
00:26:39,550 --> 00:26:42,380
I'm just going to save it for
myself, and for your brothers,
415
00:26:42,380 --> 00:26:43,710
and for Ma.
416
00:26:43,710 --> 00:26:45,790
Maybe even some for Porky.
417
00:26:45,790 --> 00:26:47,660
Shouldn't give any to Ma.
418
00:26:47,660 --> 00:26:49,610
You know that stuff
makes her crazy.
419
00:26:49,610 --> 00:26:51,770
You quit your sassing, boy.
420
00:26:51,770 --> 00:26:53,380
I pulled you out of
your mother and I'll
421
00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:54,860
shove you right back in.
422
00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:57,920
Now you get in that
truck and you skedaddle.
423
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,810
Yes, Pa.
424
00:26:59,810 --> 00:27:02,070
And no drinking and driving!
425
00:27:02,070 --> 00:27:02,920
Yes, Pa.
426
00:27:06,350 --> 00:27:07,780
[LAUGHING]
427
00:27:14,130 --> 00:27:14,830
Woo!
428
00:27:19,540 --> 00:27:21,610
Shit the bed, this
is great, Wilbur!
429
00:27:21,610 --> 00:27:24,100
See?
I told you.
430
00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:26,110
But this water sure is cold.
431
00:27:26,110 --> 00:27:27,820
Woo.
432
00:27:27,820 --> 00:27:30,150
And it's deep, too.
433
00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:32,650
Boy, I'd sure like to knock
the bottom out of that.
434
00:27:32,650 --> 00:27:35,290
Yeah, bottom, front, sides.
435
00:27:35,290 --> 00:27:37,760
You never know, she might
turn out to be a nympho.
436
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,120
One who gets turned
on by big campfires.
437
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:43,260
Well I got a log
she can start with.
438
00:27:53,460 --> 00:27:55,130
Ah.
439
00:27:55,130 --> 00:27:56,920
Where's a good place
to take a shit?
440
00:28:06,850 --> 00:28:08,890
Hi.
441
00:28:08,890 --> 00:28:11,560
Yo.
442
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,990
Going far?
443
00:28:13,990 --> 00:28:16,740
Barbershop.
444
00:28:16,740 --> 00:28:18,560
Barbershop, eh?
445
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:19,690
You work in that place?
446
00:28:19,690 --> 00:28:21,090
Yeah.
Yeah, I work there.
447
00:28:21,090 --> 00:28:21,880
I'm the shaver.
448
00:28:26,030 --> 00:28:28,620
You give people shaves?
449
00:28:28,620 --> 00:28:30,190
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
450
00:28:30,190 --> 00:28:32,170
Look, look.
451
00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:34,800
See?
452
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,230
Hey, that-that's pretty good.
453
00:28:37,230 --> 00:28:39,870
That's good.
454
00:28:39,870 --> 00:28:43,220
You know, I heard about them,
uh, them new electric shavers.
455
00:28:43,220 --> 00:28:45,650
No!
No, no, they're no good.
456
00:28:45,650 --> 00:28:47,770
They're no good.
Safety reasons.
457
00:28:47,770 --> 00:28:49,490
We're the best.
458
00:28:49,490 --> 00:28:52,730
Get a real good close shave.
459
00:28:52,730 --> 00:28:55,170
Hey, you need a shave?
460
00:28:55,170 --> 00:28:56,700
My brother, he gives hair cuts.
461
00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:59,390
He gives them real good.
462
00:28:59,390 --> 00:29:03,220
We'll give you shave
and a haircut, for free.
463
00:29:03,220 --> 00:29:06,190
Uh, I don't need no shave
or haircut, but I tell you,
464
00:29:06,190 --> 00:29:08,750
if I need one, I'll
come right to you.
465
00:29:08,750 --> 00:29:10,530
[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]
466
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,240
I got this razor.
467
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,240
Put that thing away, boy.
468
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:23,760
It's a good razor.
469
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,860
BILLY BOB: Hey what...
What you doing?
470
00:29:25,860 --> 00:29:27,490
Hey, cut that... hey.
471
00:29:27,490 --> 00:29:28,950
Hey, don't do that in my truck!
472
00:29:28,950 --> 00:29:31,440
Holy shit, man!
Oh!
473
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:32,930
Oh, god!
474
00:29:38,420 --> 00:29:41,290
You grubby god
damn son of a bitch!
475
00:29:41,290 --> 00:29:44,070
You'll never get a free
shave out of me, you asshole!
476
00:29:55,030 --> 00:29:57,210
That's the last hitch
hiker I ever pick up.
477
00:30:14,740 --> 00:30:17,050
It's party time.
LISA: Woo.
478
00:30:17,050 --> 00:30:19,620
THERESA: Hey.
479
00:30:19,620 --> 00:30:20,430
LISA: Colombian?
480
00:30:20,430 --> 00:30:22,380
ANDY: Jamaican?
481
00:30:22,380 --> 00:30:24,480
Only the best.
482
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:25,940
New Jersey.
483
00:30:25,940 --> 00:30:27,440
THERESA: New Jersey?
BOB: What exit?
484
00:30:31,410 --> 00:30:35,930
11 cases of swill
gone to market, boys.
485
00:30:35,930 --> 00:30:39,970
This still's sure better.
486
00:30:39,970 --> 00:30:41,350
Now's our turn.
487
00:30:44,060 --> 00:30:45,780
Give me the first drink, Pa.
488
00:30:45,780 --> 00:30:48,280
Yeah, Pa, let's get loose.
489
00:30:51,530 --> 00:30:54,940
I'm rolling you a
Tennessee torpedo.
490
00:30:54,940 --> 00:30:56,620
Man, that shit
looks like cut grass.
491
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:05,810
Boys, I got a deep down feeling
this batch is going to be awful
492
00:31:05,810 --> 00:31:06,750
special.
493
00:31:06,750 --> 00:31:08,010
To our new still!
494
00:31:11,220 --> 00:31:12,190
[GAGGING]
495
00:31:14,620 --> 00:31:16,070
It tastes like fire, Pa!
496
00:31:18,980 --> 00:31:21,000
Hey, that's bigger
than Lisa's dildo.
497
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,330
LISA: Yeah and five times
the size of your dick.
498
00:31:23,330 --> 00:31:24,720
ANDY: Come on, fire it up, man.
499
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,260
Yeah, let's get
naked and smoke.
500
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,130
THERESA: Woo hoo!
501
00:31:45,290 --> 00:31:47,740
I like knockers.
502
00:31:47,740 --> 00:31:49,670
Yeah, I like knockers, too.
503
00:31:55,140 --> 00:31:56,760
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
504
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,320
Somebody's knocking.
505
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,350
Yeah, I like knockers, too.
506
00:32:02,350 --> 00:32:04,070
No, shit weed.
507
00:32:04,070 --> 00:32:06,270
There's someone
knocking at the door!
508
00:32:06,270 --> 00:32:06,970
Oh.
509
00:32:12,810 --> 00:32:13,790
Hey, Elly.
510
00:32:13,790 --> 00:32:15,210
Hey, Smerd.
511
00:32:15,210 --> 00:32:16,010
How you doing?
512
00:32:16,010 --> 00:32:17,110
Got some shine for you.
513
00:32:17,110 --> 00:32:17,840
Great!
514
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,370
You want to come in and
watch some knockers?
515
00:32:20,370 --> 00:32:22,720
Uh, oh no thanks.
516
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,460
I got a couple of my own.
517
00:32:24,460 --> 00:32:26,140
But I'll see you later.
OK.
518
00:32:29,140 --> 00:32:30,140
Here, Berd.
519
00:32:30,140 --> 00:32:32,000
Ah, thanks, Smerd.
520
00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:38,370
[COUGHING]
521
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:48,060
I-I feel funny, Pa.
522
00:32:48,060 --> 00:32:50,230
I feel a bit strange myself.
523
00:32:50,230 --> 00:32:52,700
[LAUGHING]
524
00:32:52,700 --> 00:32:53,690
[LAUGHING]
525
00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:56,650
[COUGHING]
526
00:32:56,650 --> 00:32:58,130
[LAUGHING]
527
00:33:03,570 --> 00:33:05,050
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
528
00:33:12,950 --> 00:33:14,930
Oh, shit.
529
00:33:14,930 --> 00:33:16,900
Did you treat this weed?
530
00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:18,610
Only with respect, baby.
531
00:33:18,610 --> 00:33:20,100
[GROUP LAUGHING]
532
00:33:23,350 --> 00:33:26,280
[LAUGHING]
533
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,280
WILBUR: Yeah!
Yeah!
534
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,270
Aliens!
535
00:33:29,270 --> 00:33:30,270
Yeah!
536
00:33:30,270 --> 00:33:32,260
[LAUGHING]
537
00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:35,250
Aliens!
538
00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:38,730
Aliens!
[INAUDIBLE]
539
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,210
She says, three inches?
540
00:33:45,210 --> 00:33:48,650
And I said, yeah,
from the floor.
541
00:33:48,650 --> 00:33:50,630
[HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER]
542
00:33:50,630 --> 00:33:52,610
[LAUGHING]
543
00:34:10,970 --> 00:34:15,930
I think... I think it's...
Thinking liquor sipping dogs,
544
00:34:15,930 --> 00:34:16,920
bro.
545
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,900
[LAUGHTER]
546
00:34:18,900 --> 00:34:26,340
[GASPING]
547
00:34:26,340 --> 00:34:28,860
ANDY: And I just about
took a shit myself,
548
00:34:28,860 --> 00:34:32,430
when up walks Timothy Berry.
549
00:34:32,430 --> 00:34:36,150
[LAUGHING]
550
00:34:36,150 --> 00:34:39,150
[GROWLING]
551
00:34:39,150 --> 00:34:41,150
[ECHOING LAUGHTER]
552
00:34:56,620 --> 00:35:01,610
ANDY: Hey, Wilbur, couldn't you
get something better than that?
553
00:35:01,610 --> 00:35:03,100
[HEAVY BREATHING]
554
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:04,600
[HEARTBEAT]
555
00:35:08,090 --> 00:35:14,080
[GROWLING]
556
00:35:31,550 --> 00:35:33,040
[HEARTBEAT]
557
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,040
[ECHOING VOICES]
558
00:35:38,030 --> 00:35:39,530
[LAUGHTER]
559
00:35:39,530 --> 00:35:41,530
[GROWLING]
560
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,390
[ECHOING VOICES ON TV]
561
00:36:33,390 --> 00:36:34,380
[KNOCKING]
562
00:36:38,370 --> 00:36:39,070
Hi, Miss Ashley.
563
00:36:39,070 --> 00:36:41,000
Lamb's sakes, Elly
May, I expected
564
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:42,950
you to be here last night.
565
00:36:42,950 --> 00:36:46,030
Well, uh, we're a little
bit behind and, um,
566
00:36:46,030 --> 00:36:46,830
and we got a new recipe.
567
00:36:46,830 --> 00:36:49,710
And, uh, and it's green.
568
00:36:49,710 --> 00:36:52,360
I guess that means
I get a discount.
569
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,250
Oh, I don't know about
no discount, cuz uh,
570
00:36:55,250 --> 00:36:57,780
uh, cuz we built a new still.
571
00:36:57,780 --> 00:36:59,550
Oh.
572
00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:01,130
Well, all right this time.
573
00:37:01,130 --> 00:37:03,110
But I'll tell you
Elly May, if you're
574
00:37:03,110 --> 00:37:04,880
going to be late
like this next time,
575
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,610
I'm going to do my
buying from Ferd Mertz.
576
00:37:07,610 --> 00:37:09,570
Oh you don't want
to buy it from him.
577
00:37:09,570 --> 00:37:11,390
Besides, you'll
really like this.
578
00:37:11,390 --> 00:37:12,900
OK, here you are Elly May.
579
00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:13,800
Thank you.
580
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,390
Bye, bye.
Fester.
581
00:37:15,390 --> 00:37:17,660
Fester, honey, look,
your bath can wait.
582
00:37:17,660 --> 00:37:18,840
Look what's here.
583
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,270
Look.
584
00:37:20,270 --> 00:37:23,090
Look what we got.
585
00:37:23,090 --> 00:37:24,240
Here.
586
00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,940
Here you are, honey.
587
00:37:25,940 --> 00:37:27,130
Look, look, look.
588
00:37:27,130 --> 00:37:28,310
Here you are.
589
00:37:28,310 --> 00:37:29,070
Drink up.
590
00:37:29,070 --> 00:37:30,540
Down the hatch.
591
00:37:35,820 --> 00:37:37,310
[CRYING]
592
00:39:03,090 --> 00:39:03,790
Ahh!
593
00:39:18,330 --> 00:39:20,330
[MUFFLED CRIES]
594
00:39:50,700 --> 00:39:52,200
Sally!
595
00:39:52,200 --> 00:40:00,810
[GROWLING] [GRUNTING]
596
00:40:00,810 --> 00:40:03,260
Sally!
Sally!
597
00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:17,340
- [GROWLING] [SNORTING]
- Sally!
598
00:40:22,230 --> 00:40:28,590
[HEAVY BREATHING]
599
00:40:28,590 --> 00:40:30,050
Sally!
600
00:40:30,050 --> 00:41:03,060
[GROWLING] [SLURPING]
601
00:41:03,060 --> 00:41:05,200
Oh, now what do we have here?
602
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:06,360
Uh... uh...
603
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,890
Now, now, what's a little
fillie like you doing
604
00:41:08,890 --> 00:41:13,550
in a place like this alone
in the wilderness all
605
00:41:13,550 --> 00:41:16,060
by yourself in the morning...
He-
606
00:41:16,060 --> 00:41:16,760
Alone?
607
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,500
He... he killed my friend.
608
00:41:18,500 --> 00:41:21,810
Now, now, now, now, a little
critter probably scared you.
609
00:41:21,810 --> 00:41:23,220
[GROWLING]
610
00:41:23,220 --> 00:41:25,410
Or maybe you were in shock.
That's it.
611
00:41:25,410 --> 00:41:27,060
Now the first aid
book says about shock,
612
00:41:27,060 --> 00:41:29,090
says the first thing we have to
do is loosen up your clothes.
613
00:41:29,090 --> 00:41:31,050
So here, let me... let me help
you loosen up your clothes.
614
00:41:31,050 --> 00:41:33,110
Now you just lay down here
and let old Ferd protect you.
615
00:41:33,110 --> 00:41:33,800
Ahh!
616
00:41:37,050 --> 00:41:38,750
Jethro, old boy!
617
00:41:38,750 --> 00:41:39,690
How you doing?
618
00:41:43,470 --> 00:41:46,760
Looking, uh, might
green around the gills.
619
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,260
[GROWLING]
620
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:53,270
Is this yours?
621
00:41:53,270 --> 00:42:03,550
[GROWLING]
622
00:42:03,550 --> 00:42:04,690
Here.
623
00:42:04,690 --> 00:42:17,330
[WHISTLING]
Ahh!
624
00:42:33,450 --> 00:43:07,880
[SLURPING] [BELCH]
625
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,180
Phew.
626
00:43:09,180 --> 00:43:11,720
Ooh, nelly, just what
I could use, a drink.
627
00:43:14,860 --> 00:43:17,140
Too bad it's this Clemsen jizz.
628
00:43:17,140 --> 00:43:19,110
Oh, mama said not to swear.
629
00:43:23,050 --> 00:43:25,510
Oh, sweet mama, take a bath.
630
00:43:25,510 --> 00:43:27,980
Ooh.
Ehh.
631
00:43:32,290 --> 00:43:36,220
Well I'll be dipped in hog
snot and perish the thought.
632
00:43:36,220 --> 00:43:38,670
That's their secret ingredient.
633
00:43:38,670 --> 00:43:41,050
Those nasty boys.
634
00:43:41,050 --> 00:43:42,820
Well at least I don't have
to put a bag over her head
635
00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:44,740
this time.
636
00:43:44,740 --> 00:43:48,370
Don't even think about that.
637
00:43:48,370 --> 00:43:50,030
I really need
myself a drink now.
638
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:04,880
Oh well, hope I don't go blind.
639
00:44:23,270 --> 00:44:26,440
Land sakes!
640
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:30,390
They got their nerve
lollygagging around all hours
641
00:44:30,390 --> 00:44:31,550
of the morning.
642
00:44:31,550 --> 00:44:33,080
They got a drunk on.
643
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,970
Boy they got that mash to town.
644
00:44:35,970 --> 00:44:39,190
I'll brown them!
645
00:44:39,190 --> 00:44:40,710
Sorry, Porky.
646
00:44:40,710 --> 00:44:43,420
Didn't mean to scare you none.
647
00:44:43,420 --> 00:44:46,130
You know you don't have
to worry about your bacon
648
00:44:46,130 --> 00:44:47,570
ending up in here.
649
00:44:47,570 --> 00:44:49,720
Not you.
650
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:53,500
Let's mosey on down to the
still and give them men folk
651
00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:54,360
what for!
652
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:08,910
Hey, Andy, where's
Sally and Theresa?
653
00:45:08,910 --> 00:45:09,610
I don't know.
654
00:45:09,610 --> 00:45:12,340
I've been up a half hour
and I haven't seen them.
655
00:45:12,340 --> 00:45:13,430
What?
656
00:45:13,430 --> 00:45:14,580
What's going on?
657
00:45:14,580 --> 00:45:17,080
Theresa and Sally are missing.
658
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:18,080
Missing?
659
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:19,780
WILBUR: Oh, they're not missing.
660
00:45:19,780 --> 00:45:21,510
They just wandered
off somewhere.
661
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:23,190
Well maybe somebody
should go look for them.
662
00:45:23,190 --> 00:45:25,980
I mean, they could
have gotten lost.
663
00:45:25,980 --> 00:45:27,250
They're not lost.
664
00:45:27,250 --> 00:45:28,350
Don't know what
they'd want to go
665
00:45:28,350 --> 00:45:30,050
off by themselves for anyway.
666
00:45:30,050 --> 00:45:33,050
Well maybe they're exploring.
667
00:45:33,050 --> 00:45:34,620
Maybe they're a
couple of damn dykes.
668
00:45:34,620 --> 00:45:36,540
Oh.
669
00:45:36,540 --> 00:45:38,570
Sure wish I were a Dutch boy.
670
00:45:38,570 --> 00:45:40,070
[WHISTLING]
671
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,120
Hey look, Ben, there's
Dad's moonshine.
672
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:55,150
Let's drink some.
673
00:45:55,150 --> 00:45:56,490
We'll get in trouble.
674
00:45:56,490 --> 00:45:57,190
It doesn't matter.
675
00:45:57,190 --> 00:45:58,740
No one's home and
he'll never know.
676
00:45:58,740 --> 00:46:00,460
All right, so you
could drink it first.
677
00:46:00,460 --> 00:46:01,690
No, I'm not going
to drink it first.
678
00:46:01,690 --> 00:46:03,670
You drink it first.
Are you chicken?
679
00:46:24,730 --> 00:46:26,220
[PIG SQUEALING]
680
00:46:26,220 --> 00:46:27,720
Jed?
681
00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:29,210
Jethro!
682
00:46:29,210 --> 00:46:31,190
Junior!
Elly!
683
00:46:34,670 --> 00:46:37,160
Where'd them boys go, Porky?
684
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:41,500
They've been gone
since yesterday morn.
685
00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:45,120
Looks to me like they
finished a new batch.
686
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:48,770
And if'n I'm right, they built
themselves a new still, too.
687
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:08,720
I'll be dipped.
688
00:47:08,720 --> 00:47:11,820
This sure is some
powerful shine.
689
00:47:11,820 --> 00:47:13,800
And it's green.
690
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,410
Jed must've changed the recipe.
691
00:47:16,410 --> 00:47:20,810
If this stuff works like
it smells, Jed and the boys
692
00:47:20,810 --> 00:47:23,560
must be wandering on
a bender, they must.
693
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:27,710
Well, Porky, I think we
just better take his jar
694
00:47:27,710 --> 00:47:29,630
home before we sample it.
695
00:47:29,630 --> 00:47:30,760
Come on, let's go.
696
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,810
I'm hungry.
697
00:47:39,810 --> 00:47:42,780
And the first thing I'm going to
do when we find these girls is
698
00:47:42,780 --> 00:47:46,660
give Theresa a real good
ass chewing for not fixing
699
00:47:46,660 --> 00:47:48,150
breakfast the way she promised.
700
00:47:48,150 --> 00:47:51,390
Oh this is a fine time to
be thinking about breakfast.
701
00:47:51,390 --> 00:47:53,110
They must be
pretty far away not
702
00:47:53,110 --> 00:47:54,420
to hear us yelling for them.
703
00:47:54,420 --> 00:47:56,710
They must really be lost.
You know what weird?
704
00:47:56,710 --> 00:47:59,420
It's like everything looks
like it's dying around here.
705
00:47:59,420 --> 00:48:02,060
Well if they're playing
opossum to try to scare us,
706
00:48:02,060 --> 00:48:05,090
I... oh, Lisa, don't look.
Don't look.
707
00:48:05,090 --> 00:48:06,030
- What?
- Don't look.
708
00:48:06,030 --> 00:48:06,950
What?
709
00:48:06,950 --> 00:48:07,860
What?
710
00:48:07,860 --> 00:48:08,780
What is it?
711
00:48:08,780 --> 00:48:10,160
What is it?
712
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:11,420
Oh, god, is that a person?
713
00:48:11,420 --> 00:48:12,910
BOB: It's... it's...
714
00:48:12,910 --> 00:48:13,910
Let me go!
715
00:48:13,910 --> 00:48:15,400
BOB: Theresa!
716
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,390
What happened to her?
LISA: Ahh!
717
00:48:17,390 --> 00:48:18,390
She's dead, man.
718
00:48:18,390 --> 00:48:22,370
She's fucking dead.
719
00:48:22,370 --> 00:48:25,360
ANDY: What happened
to her own head?
720
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,350
What was she fucking doing?
721
00:48:27,350 --> 00:48:28,350
Ahh!
722
00:48:28,350 --> 00:48:29,840
Look, man!
723
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,330
Maybe that... maybe
that's not Theresa.
724
00:48:32,330 --> 00:48:34,820
She's wearing fucking
designer jeans.
725
00:48:34,820 --> 00:48:35,820
ANDY: And that's my t-shirt.
726
00:48:35,820 --> 00:48:38,310
Well what happened to her!
727
00:48:38,310 --> 00:48:39,300
WILBUR: Maybe it was a bear.
728
00:48:39,300 --> 00:48:40,800
What is that!
729
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:42,790
What kind of bear
would do this, man?
730
00:48:42,790 --> 00:48:44,780
ANDY: Holy shit.
731
00:48:44,780 --> 00:48:48,270
She's nothing but
a fucking stain.
732
00:48:48,270 --> 00:48:50,750
Oh, god, where's Sally?
733
00:48:50,750 --> 00:48:51,750
ANDY: Oh, Sally, that's right.
734
00:48:51,750 --> 00:48:52,750
We've got to find her!
735
00:48:52,750 --> 00:48:54,240
We've got to find Sally.
736
00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:56,730
(CRYING) We've got
to bury Theresa.
737
00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:02,380
WILBUR: Theresa's gone
now, but that... that
738
00:49:02,380 --> 00:49:04,200
doesn't mean that Sally's dead.
739
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:05,760
You know?
740
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:08,220
If it was a bear, it might
return to it's kill area.
741
00:49:08,220 --> 00:49:11,430
But either way, I don't
think we should split up.
742
00:49:11,430 --> 00:49:13,870
If you want to stay,
you stay alone.
743
00:49:13,870 --> 00:49:16,470
So what's it going to be?
744
00:49:16,470 --> 00:49:19,510
Fuck you, Wilbur,
we're going to bury her.
745
00:49:19,510 --> 00:49:21,010
[CRYING]
746
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:47,950
[WOMAN CRYING]
747
00:49:51,940 --> 00:49:52,940
[KNOCKING]
748
00:49:52,940 --> 00:49:54,440
JAKE: Come in.
749
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,430
[MUFFLED CRIES]
750
00:50:09,410 --> 00:50:10,910
Hi, Elly.
751
00:50:10,910 --> 00:50:12,400
Where you been?
752
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,010
What took you so long?
753
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:19,550
Sorry, but, uh, we were
running a little late tonight.
754
00:50:19,550 --> 00:50:24,520
And, uh, tell you what, we got
some special stuff this time.
755
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,020
You stay right there.
756
00:50:27,020 --> 00:50:31,750
I'll have to get some money
and I'll be right back.
757
00:50:31,750 --> 00:50:33,750
[WOMAN CRYING]
758
00:51:28,530 --> 00:51:32,040
Here's your money.
759
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,710
Thanks, Jake.
760
00:51:34,710 --> 00:51:36,310
Here you go.
761
00:51:36,310 --> 00:51:38,750
Have a nice day.
762
00:51:38,750 --> 00:51:43,080
[LAUGHING]
763
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:46,900
[MUFFLED CRIES]
764
00:51:46,900 --> 00:51:47,870
WILBUR: Sally!
765
00:51:47,870 --> 00:51:50,310
LISA: Sal!
766
00:51:50,310 --> 00:51:51,790
Sally?
767
00:51:51,790 --> 00:51:52,490
Sally!
768
00:51:52,490 --> 00:51:54,580
Hey guys, check this out.
769
00:51:54,580 --> 00:51:55,980
Is that a still?
Huh.
770
00:51:55,980 --> 00:51:57,030
Sure is, man.
771
00:51:57,030 --> 00:51:59,900
They been making mash out
here since time began.
772
00:51:59,900 --> 00:52:02,850
Oh, man, this is too weird.
773
00:52:02,850 --> 00:52:04,670
You guys do what you want to do.
774
00:52:04,670 --> 00:52:06,990
I'm going over here and
I'm going to freak out.
775
00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:09,200
LISA: Bob, get
your shit together.
776
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:10,580
Look, to hell with this thing.
777
00:52:10,580 --> 00:52:14,380
We have to find Sally.
778
00:52:14,380 --> 00:52:16,300
Oh, shit.
Shit.
779
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:18,100
- What is it now?
- Shit.
780
00:52:18,100 --> 00:52:19,300
Shit.
Shit.
781
00:52:19,300 --> 00:52:20,790
Shit.
Shit.
782
00:52:20,790 --> 00:52:22,790
What?
What is it?
783
00:52:22,790 --> 00:52:24,790
Oh, shit.
784
00:52:24,790 --> 00:52:26,320
It's Sally.
785
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:28,680
I'm drinking this shit.
786
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:29,570
Are you nuts?
787
00:52:29,570 --> 00:52:31,740
That stuff could kill you.
788
00:52:31,740 --> 00:52:33,540
WILBUR: Man, this bear
is getting around, man.
789
00:52:33,540 --> 00:52:34,820
We gotta get out of here.
790
00:52:34,820 --> 00:52:35,750
LISA: Wilbur's right.
791
00:52:35,750 --> 00:52:37,300
If there is a wild
bear around here,
792
00:52:37,300 --> 00:52:39,020
we've got to get a move on.
793
00:52:39,020 --> 00:52:40,470
Let's beat feet.
794
00:52:40,470 --> 00:52:41,560
I don't think it's a bear.
795
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:42,450
What?
796
00:52:42,450 --> 00:52:43,630
I don't think it's a bear.
797
00:52:43,630 --> 00:52:44,410
Look, geek...
798
00:52:44,410 --> 00:52:46,430
Look, blow me, moron.
799
00:52:46,430 --> 00:52:48,770
Listen, this barrel
is still warm
800
00:52:48,770 --> 00:52:50,660
and these tracks around
here are still fresh.
801
00:52:50,660 --> 00:52:52,530
If there was a bear
around here, why didn't it
802
00:52:52,530 --> 00:52:53,950
get the owner of this still?
803
00:52:53,950 --> 00:52:56,170
Why aren't there
any bear tracks?
804
00:52:56,170 --> 00:52:58,640
You mean people did this?
805
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:01,290
Wilbur, you're the
damn mountain man.
806
00:53:01,290 --> 00:53:03,080
Why didn't you figure
any of this out?
807
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:06,410
What are you doing, feeding us
to your cousins or something?
808
00:53:06,410 --> 00:53:07,850
You're setting us up.
809
00:53:07,850 --> 00:53:09,380
That's what you're doing.
You're setting us up.
810
00:53:09,380 --> 00:53:10,100
Hey, fuck you, Bob.
811
00:53:10,100 --> 00:53:11,880
I haven't been here in 10 years.
812
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:13,330
You're setting us up, man.
813
00:53:13,330 --> 00:53:15,500
You killed Theresa
and you killed Sally.
814
00:53:15,500 --> 00:53:16,380
Get off!
815
00:53:16,380 --> 00:53:17,260
LISA: Stop it!
816
00:53:17,260 --> 00:53:19,080
Stop it!
ANDY: Shut up!
817
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:19,900
Shut the fuck up!
818
00:53:19,900 --> 00:53:20,670
Look what it says here.
819
00:53:20,670 --> 00:53:25,520
It says, Caution, US military
chemical warfare nuclear waste.
820
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:26,750
Use no hooks.
821
00:53:26,750 --> 00:53:29,630
You mean these rednecks
are drinking that shit?
822
00:53:29,630 --> 00:53:31,630
No, I don't think anyone
could be that stupid,
823
00:53:31,630 --> 00:53:33,460
but I think the residue
from this barrel
824
00:53:33,460 --> 00:53:35,180
was enough to set
things in motion.
825
00:53:35,180 --> 00:53:37,700
Little dab will do here,
if you know what I mean.
826
00:53:37,700 --> 00:53:38,500
Better than you think.
827
00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:40,540
WILBUR: (ECHOING) What are
you talking about, Andy?
828
00:53:40,540 --> 00:53:43,140
ANDY: (ECHOING) Oh,
you guys are thick.
829
00:53:43,140 --> 00:53:46,050
Look, there were
chemicals in this barrel.
830
00:53:46,050 --> 00:53:48,820
The chemicals got
in to the moonshine.
831
00:53:48,820 --> 00:53:50,320
You'd think that
it would kill them,
832
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:51,710
but my guess is
that it just turned
833
00:53:51,710 --> 00:53:53,280
them into horrible maniacs.
834
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:55,900
Y-You mean that
th-this moonshine...
835
00:53:55,900 --> 00:54:01,290
That's right... monster mash.
836
00:54:01,290 --> 00:54:03,250
Ooh.
837
00:54:03,250 --> 00:54:04,310
[COUNTRY MUSIC]
838
00:54:46,090 --> 00:54:48,580
Tyrone, I can't believe
you lost that barrel.
839
00:54:48,580 --> 00:54:50,520
I was supposed to go to
the Pink Hippo tonight,
840
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:53,850
but now my day's ruined
because of your stupidity.
841
00:54:53,850 --> 00:54:55,270
Fuck you.
842
00:54:55,270 --> 00:54:58,230
Hey, Ty, we going to
get to shoot anybody?
843
00:54:58,230 --> 00:54:59,650
There's a distinct possibility.
844
00:54:59,650 --> 00:55:01,910
You mean there's
going to be fighting?
845
00:55:01,910 --> 00:55:03,240
Ty, how could you?
846
00:55:03,240 --> 00:55:05,270
What if I break a nail?
847
00:55:05,270 --> 00:55:06,230
Fuck you.
848
00:55:09,090 --> 00:55:11,900
Well, what should we do now?
849
00:55:11,900 --> 00:55:12,730
Well that's up to you.
850
00:55:12,730 --> 00:55:14,230
We've got to get the
hell out of here.
851
00:55:14,230 --> 00:55:15,540
Fuck that, man.
852
00:55:15,540 --> 00:55:17,610
I'm not following this
son of a bitch anywhere.
853
00:55:17,610 --> 00:55:18,380
Stop it, Bob.
854
00:55:18,380 --> 00:55:19,510
I ain't taking no
more of this shit.
855
00:55:19,510 --> 00:55:20,760
Why don't you deal with
your own fucking problems?
856
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:21,930
You're my problem, bastard!
857
00:55:38,850 --> 00:55:39,680
Stop it.
858
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:40,710
Stop it!
859
00:55:40,710 --> 00:55:41,750
Stop it!
860
00:55:41,750 --> 00:55:43,810
Stop it!
Stop it!
861
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,510
I don't believe you two.
862
00:55:54,510 --> 00:55:56,040
What the hell is your problem?
863
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:59,130
We have to stick together, not
try and pull each other apart.
864
00:55:59,130 --> 00:56:00,390
I don't believe this!
865
00:56:00,390 --> 00:56:02,990
We're in the middle of
a crisis situation here
866
00:56:02,990 --> 00:56:05,600
and I'm watching the
battle of the macho jerks!
867
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,240
Well let me tell you something.
868
00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:10,460
I don't care how macho
or how strong you are,
869
00:56:10,460 --> 00:56:14,400
it's not going to do one
think to protect us from this.
870
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:18,780
Now Bob, I don't know what the
hell your problem is, but you
871
00:56:18,780 --> 00:56:20,330
better pull it
together if you don't
872
00:56:20,330 --> 00:56:22,870
want to end up as tomorrow's
blue plate special.
873
00:56:22,870 --> 00:56:24,360
And you.
874
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:26,310
You better come
to the realization
875
00:56:26,310 --> 00:56:27,850
that you have been
away from home way
876
00:56:27,850 --> 00:56:31,710
too long to know what the
hell's going on around here.
877
00:56:31,710 --> 00:56:34,540
Now I think we ought to just
turn everything over to Andy,
878
00:56:34,540 --> 00:56:37,370
since he seems to be the
only one of you assholes
879
00:56:37,370 --> 00:56:40,130
who's still thinking clearly.
880
00:56:40,130 --> 00:56:44,740
I am right on the edge of
clawing my eyes out and-and
881
00:56:44,740 --> 00:56:48,500
and slitting my wrists.
882
00:56:48,500 --> 00:56:54,380
Now Andy, tell me, what
are we going to do?
883
00:56:59,780 --> 00:57:00,760
[GROWLING]
884
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:04,230
- Oh, no!
- Aah!
885
00:57:04,230 --> 00:57:11,310
[GROWLING]
886
00:57:11,310 --> 00:57:15,260
[SCREAMING]
887
00:57:15,260 --> 00:57:17,230
[SCREAMS ECHOING]
888
00:57:42,190 --> 00:57:47,140
[CRYING]
889
00:57:47,140 --> 00:57:52,090
[GAGGING]
890
00:57:52,090 --> 00:58:00,510
[WHIMPERING]
891
00:58:00,510 --> 00:58:03,480
Any more fucking bright ideas?
892
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:05,240
BOB: Well, we got
to do something.
893
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,640
Oh, god, I wish I was home.
894
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:09,240
(HIGH PITCHED VOICE)
There's no place like home.
895
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:10,550
Toto, Toto!
896
00:58:10,550 --> 00:58:12,410
And your little dog, too!
897
00:58:12,410 --> 00:58:17,110
[CACKLES] [BARKS] [PANTING]
898
00:58:17,110 --> 00:58:18,840
WILBUR: Chill out, Bob.
899
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:21,350
We sure as shit
can't stay here, man.
900
00:58:21,350 --> 00:58:23,600
Besides, there might be
more of these things.
901
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:27,090
Look, there's a mineshaft
over that clearing over there.
902
00:58:27,090 --> 00:58:28,190
We could be safe there.
903
00:58:28,190 --> 00:58:30,150
Underground?
904
00:58:30,150 --> 00:58:33,090
Underground.
905
00:58:33,090 --> 00:58:36,090
Come on, let's go.
906
00:58:36,090 --> 00:58:37,140
Get your shit together.
907
00:58:37,140 --> 00:58:38,150
Give me a hand here.
908
00:58:38,150 --> 00:58:39,940
What are we taking him for?
909
00:58:39,940 --> 00:58:41,910
Look, just grab a leg
and I'll tell you later.
910
00:58:41,910 --> 00:58:44,160
Come on.
Come on.
911
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:44,980
Pull.
912
00:58:44,980 --> 00:58:45,680
That's it.
913
00:58:47,860 --> 00:58:49,240
This isn't so bad.
914
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:50,790
Come on, Toto.
915
00:58:50,790 --> 00:58:51,490
Atta boy.
916
00:58:51,490 --> 00:58:52,300
Come on.
917
00:58:52,300 --> 00:58:53,480
Atta boy.
Heel, heel!
918
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:54,180
Walkies.
919
00:58:58,440 --> 00:58:59,140
WILBUR: Shit.
920
00:59:03,060 --> 00:59:04,560
Shit!
921
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:06,560
(WHIMPERING) I got it!
922
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:07,560
I got it!
923
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:08,910
Ow!
924
00:59:08,910 --> 00:59:09,640
WILBUR: What was that?
925
00:59:14,540 --> 00:59:16,990
It's a hurricane lamp.
926
00:59:16,990 --> 00:59:18,330
WILBUR: Well, go
ahead and light it.
927
00:59:22,990 --> 00:59:25,250
Ew, this thing's filthy.
928
00:59:28,130 --> 00:59:30,740
Ah, shiny.
929
00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:37,010
Well, we've got light.
930
00:59:37,010 --> 00:59:37,830
Very good, Bob.
931
00:59:41,550 --> 00:59:44,420
OK, now what?
932
00:59:44,420 --> 00:59:49,690
Bob, do an autopsy
on this thing.
933
00:59:49,690 --> 00:59:51,690
What?
934
00:59:51,690 --> 00:59:52,760
No way!
935
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:54,290
WILBUR: Hey come on, man.
You're pre med.
936
00:59:54,290 --> 00:59:55,400
I'm pre vet!
937
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:56,170
What's the difference?
938
00:59:56,170 --> 00:59:57,980
I do autopsies on cats, man!
939
00:59:57,980 --> 01:00:01,950
Well think of it as a big cat.
940
01:00:01,950 --> 01:00:03,450
All right.
941
01:00:03,450 --> 01:00:04,150
All right.
942
01:00:04,150 --> 01:00:06,290
Out with it.
943
01:00:06,290 --> 01:00:09,260
I'll tell you.
944
01:00:09,260 --> 01:00:13,340
Remember that little bitty bitty
piece of acid I was saving?
945
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:16,890
Yeah.
946
01:00:16,890 --> 01:00:17,840
What about it?
947
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:27,320
Well, I woke up and
I said to myself, Bob.
948
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:30,330
Bob, I said to myself,
Bob... that's-that's me.
949
01:00:30,330 --> 01:00:36,690
Bob, oh, what a
beautiful morning.
950
01:00:36,690 --> 01:00:42,950
And you may not have
noticed this, but I took it.
951
01:00:42,950 --> 01:00:44,940
Christ!
952
01:00:44,940 --> 01:00:47,430
I was only going to
trip a little bit.
953
01:00:47,430 --> 01:00:49,410
Not a lot, just a little.
954
01:00:49,410 --> 01:00:52,600
I was going to trip over all
the bears, and the trees,
955
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:55,060
and the flowers, and the
insects, and the sky,
956
01:00:55,060 --> 01:00:59,000
and the universe all
wrapped up into one little...
957
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:00,470
Are you out of your mind?
958
01:01:00,470 --> 01:01:01,950
This is no time to trip!
959
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:03,960
I didn't know this
shit would happen.
960
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:05,900
I mean, who could?
961
01:01:05,900 --> 01:01:06,870
Hm?
962
01:01:06,870 --> 01:01:09,850
[LAUGHING] Who's laughing?
963
01:01:09,850 --> 01:01:10,770
Stop laughing at me.
964
01:01:10,770 --> 01:01:13,510
Bob!
965
01:01:13,510 --> 01:01:15,750
I did it this morning.
966
01:01:15,750 --> 01:01:18,560
I thought it'd be over by now.
967
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:23,270
I thought I was at my
highest an hour ago.
968
01:01:23,270 --> 01:01:27,260
(ECHOING) But I'm
still tripping.
969
01:01:27,260 --> 01:01:28,660
(ECHOING) You know what man?
970
01:01:28,660 --> 01:01:30,270
(ECHOING) Talk
about bad timing.
971
01:01:30,270 --> 01:01:31,660
(ECHOING) Acid.
972
01:01:31,660 --> 01:01:33,090
How can you take
that kind of crap?
973
01:01:33,090 --> 01:01:34,000
Damn fool.
974
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:35,360
(ECHOING) This is just great.
975
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:37,850
You know, we're not going
to know where to be.
976
01:01:37,850 --> 01:01:39,340
We ought to just leave you here!
977
01:01:39,340 --> 01:01:41,080
(ECHOING) You want
to be drugged out
978
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:42,320
and talking about me, you jerk?
979
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:44,230
What the hell is going
on in your mind, man?
980
01:01:44,230 --> 01:01:45,830
(ECHOING) But you are
going to do this autopsy,
981
01:01:45,830 --> 01:01:47,970
Bob, because we're in an
emergency situation, here.
982
01:01:47,970 --> 01:01:50,310
You can't just close
your eyes for this.
983
01:01:50,310 --> 01:01:51,350
BOB: (ECHOING) You want to bet?
984
01:01:53,850 --> 01:01:55,790
[VOICES ECHOING]
985
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:10,660
WILBUR: Wake up!
986
01:02:10,660 --> 01:02:14,040
(ECHOING) Now slice him open.
987
01:02:19,340 --> 01:02:22,130
But I don't have
any instruments.
988
01:02:22,130 --> 01:02:22,900
WILBUR: (ECHOING) Here.
989
01:02:44,500 --> 01:02:46,200
WILBUR: Stop fucking around.
990
01:02:49,420 --> 01:02:50,150
LISA: (ECHOING) Hurry!
991
01:03:05,460 --> 01:03:06,450
Oh, man.
992
01:03:06,450 --> 01:03:11,920
Uh, god, this zombie
skin is the toughest.
993
01:03:17,180 --> 01:03:17,880
Ew.
994
01:03:20,860 --> 01:03:23,870
Ew, what is in here?
995
01:03:23,870 --> 01:03:25,210
Oh, god.
996
01:03:25,210 --> 01:03:30,040
Oh, my god, what...
Oh, this... ew.
997
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:31,520
Yuck.
998
01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:32,510
Ew, yuck.
999
01:03:32,510 --> 01:03:34,980
Ew, yucky, yucky.
1000
01:03:34,980 --> 01:03:37,940
Yuck.
What?
1001
01:03:40,910 --> 01:03:42,470
(ECHOING) What's this?
1002
01:03:42,470 --> 01:03:43,860
I-I don't believe it.
1003
01:03:43,860 --> 01:03:47,840
I don't believe... what in the
wor... will you look at this?
1004
01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:50,140
I mean, OK, all right.
1005
01:03:50,140 --> 01:03:51,090
So what?
1006
01:03:51,090 --> 01:03:54,000
It's light, it's less
filling, but hey, it
1007
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:55,120
could have been recycled.
1008
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:57,810
I don't believe it.
1009
01:03:57,810 --> 01:03:59,280
What else is in here?
1010
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:00,250
Ah.
1011
01:04:00,250 --> 01:04:02,930
Where did this come from?
1012
01:04:02,930 --> 01:04:05,650
Where do you suppo... yeah.
1013
01:04:05,650 --> 01:04:07,690
Some poor Appalachian
man, I think,
1014
01:04:07,690 --> 01:04:09,630
is going around,
wandering around
1015
01:04:09,630 --> 01:04:12,080
the mountains without a shoe.
1016
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:14,890
Can you believe that he's
going around without a shoe?
1017
01:04:14,890 --> 01:04:15,890
What?
1018
01:04:15,890 --> 01:04:16,890
Now what's this?
1019
01:04:16,890 --> 01:04:18,370
What's this?
1020
01:04:18,370 --> 01:04:19,540
Help.
1021
01:04:19,540 --> 01:04:20,980
Ew.
1022
01:04:20,980 --> 01:04:22,420
Huh.
1023
01:04:22,420 --> 01:04:26,050
Now how do you suppose
this got in the colon?
1024
01:04:26,050 --> 01:04:28,210
I don't... I can't imagine.
1025
01:04:28,210 --> 01:04:30,840
Well, you know, I do
think it might... nah.
1026
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:37,530
But... ah, hey, hey,
now this, I like this.
1027
01:04:37,530 --> 01:04:39,020
Oh, yeah.
1028
01:04:39,020 --> 01:04:40,380
Oh, ho, ho.
1029
01:04:40,380 --> 01:04:44,350
Oh now this, this I'm
going to keep for myself.
1030
01:04:44,350 --> 01:04:46,200
I like that.
1031
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:47,170
What else do we have in here?
1032
01:04:47,170 --> 01:04:48,540
Yeah, I think I'm
going to climb in here.
1033
01:04:48,540 --> 01:04:50,400
Well, no, no, I won't
climb in just yet,
1034
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:53,940
but well... look, it's...
Believe me, it's big in here.
1035
01:04:53,940 --> 01:04:56,120
I mean, it's as big as an
amusement park in here.
1036
01:04:56,120 --> 01:04:57,600
I love it.
I love it.
1037
01:04:57,600 --> 01:04:58,880
Hey, look!
1038
01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:00,570
There's the roller coaster.
1039
01:05:00,570 --> 01:05:01,540
That's a roller coaster.
1040
01:05:01,540 --> 01:05:04,460
Hey, hey, hey, and
there's the Ferris wheel.
1041
01:05:04,460 --> 01:05:05,430
I love it in here.
1042
01:05:05,430 --> 01:05:06,400
You guys should look in here.
1043
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:07,220
This is amazing.
1044
01:05:07,220 --> 01:05:08,350
I'm telling you, it's amazing.
1045
01:05:18,350 --> 01:05:20,340
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
1046
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:50,270
All right, here we have
two zombie hands, which we
1047
01:05:50,270 --> 01:05:52,180
will call numbers one and two.
1048
01:05:54,940 --> 01:05:57,650
And we have two types of
deodorant, which we will
1049
01:05:57,650 --> 01:06:02,320
designate types A
and B. Now what I'm
1050
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:09,760
going to do is spray zombie
hand one with deodorant A.
1051
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:15,470
As you can see, the skin
becomes wet and sticky.
1052
01:06:15,470 --> 01:06:22,780
Now I'm going to spray zombie
hand two with deodorant B.
1053
01:06:22,780 --> 01:06:24,230
Ah, my, my, my.
1054
01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:25,810
Look at that, huh?
1055
01:06:25,810 --> 01:06:33,640
You might notice that the tissue
becomes dehydrated and decayed,
1056
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:35,630
and, uh, and yucky.
1057
01:06:40,010 --> 01:06:43,320
Therefore, it's safe to
conclude that the only effective
1058
01:06:43,320 --> 01:06:47,700
deodorant against zombies
is one which contains
1059
01:06:47,700 --> 01:06:50,500
aluminum chlorohydrate.
1060
01:06:50,500 --> 01:06:56,460
It's dries them fast
and keeps them dry.
1061
01:06:56,460 --> 01:06:59,400
Why only aluminum
chlorohydrate?
1062
01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:02,050
How the hell am I
suppose the know?
1063
01:07:02,050 --> 01:07:05,580
I'm pre vet, not a chemist.
1064
01:07:05,580 --> 01:07:06,390
This is essential.
1065
01:07:06,390 --> 01:07:08,280
We've got Andy's pack.
1066
01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:09,630
Arm yourselves.
1067
01:07:09,630 --> 01:07:12,120
[GROWLING]
1068
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:13,610
What the hell was that?
1069
01:07:13,610 --> 01:07:16,100
I don't know, but
it's coming this way.
1070
01:07:16,100 --> 01:07:18,050
[GROWLING]
1071
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:37,060
Ma?
1072
01:07:37,060 --> 01:07:40,010
You're going to kill
me, but [COUGHING].
1073
01:07:49,260 --> 01:07:52,200
Ma, what happened to Porky?
1074
01:08:04,440 --> 01:08:05,140
Shit.
1075
01:08:05,140 --> 01:08:07,150
I'm not going to
change this tire.
1076
01:08:07,150 --> 01:08:08,190
Fuck you.
1077
01:08:08,190 --> 01:08:10,300
Man, I just changed
these motherfuckers.
1078
01:08:10,300 --> 01:08:12,020
We ran over some bullshit.
1079
01:08:12,020 --> 01:08:12,940
What?
1080
01:08:12,940 --> 01:08:14,640
Fuck you.
1081
01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:15,910
Give me a hand, Sherman.
1082
01:08:15,910 --> 01:08:17,200
Here, hold this, asshole.
1083
01:08:24,980 --> 01:08:29,310
Looks like a ball jar
and a safety razor.
1084
01:08:29,310 --> 01:08:31,760
Whoa, Ty, check it out.
1085
01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:32,750
It's a native.
1086
01:08:32,750 --> 01:08:34,160
Oh, hello!
1087
01:08:34,160 --> 01:08:35,270
TYRONE: Hey, you.
1088
01:08:35,270 --> 01:08:36,260
Get over here!
1089
01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:42,220
Oh, man.
1090
01:08:42,220 --> 01:08:45,430
That boy don't look right, Ty.
1091
01:08:45,430 --> 01:08:47,920
Halt. Stop.
1092
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:49,510
Freeze!
1093
01:08:49,510 --> 01:08:50,450
Fini, motherfucker.
1094
01:08:54,390 --> 01:08:55,310
That's french.
1095
01:08:55,310 --> 01:08:59,170
[GROWLING]
1096
01:08:59,170 --> 01:09:00,230
Oh, he's sick.
1097
01:09:00,230 --> 01:09:01,610
Let's take him with us.
1098
01:09:01,610 --> 01:09:02,590
Fuck you.
1099
01:09:02,590 --> 01:09:03,890
Shoot him, Sherman.
1100
01:09:03,890 --> 01:09:06,140
Which one?
1101
01:09:06,140 --> 01:09:07,100
Him first.
1102
01:09:07,100 --> 01:09:09,530
Ah, I think I'll
just kick his ass.
1103
01:09:09,530 --> 01:09:12,190
I haven't tasted
redneck in a long time.
1104
01:09:12,190 --> 01:09:13,410
Suppose he got rabies?
1105
01:09:13,410 --> 01:09:16,910
Well, I ain't going to
let the dick bite me.
1106
01:09:16,910 --> 01:09:18,850
Be nice, Sherman.
1107
01:09:18,850 --> 01:09:21,670
SHERMAN: Fuck you.
1108
01:09:21,670 --> 01:09:24,720
All right, asshole.
Oh, Jesus!
1109
01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:48,320
Hess.
1110
01:09:48,320 --> 01:09:50,290
He probably said
something nasty.
1111
01:09:50,290 --> 01:09:52,440
Boss?
1112
01:09:52,440 --> 01:09:54,020
[GROWLING]
1113
01:09:59,230 --> 01:10:02,700
Oh, Ty, this could be fun.
1114
01:10:02,700 --> 01:10:04,690
Did you see the
movie "Deliverance"?
1115
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:09,650
Oh, hello!
1116
01:10:09,650 --> 01:10:11,630
Hi.
1117
01:10:11,630 --> 01:10:13,620
Water sports, anyone?
1118
01:10:13,620 --> 01:10:15,100
Oh, my!
1119
01:10:15,100 --> 01:10:16,100
No!
1120
01:10:16,100 --> 01:10:18,580
Stop!
1121
01:10:18,580 --> 01:10:22,540
Oh, no, stop!
1122
01:10:22,540 --> 01:10:23,540
[RIPPING]
1123
01:10:24,530 --> 01:10:26,020
[GROWLING]
1124
01:10:42,940 --> 01:10:43,750
Fuck you, still!
1125
01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:05,730
Man, we have got
to make a plan.
1126
01:11:05,730 --> 01:11:07,720
Yeah, how we're getting
the fuck out of here.
1127
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:08,420
Look!
1128
01:11:11,630 --> 01:11:13,870
TYRONE: Hey, you kids, run!
1129
01:11:13,870 --> 01:11:14,810
Who the hell is that?
1130
01:11:14,810 --> 01:11:16,210
Get out of here!
1131
01:11:21,750 --> 01:11:23,960
Oh, shoot!
1132
01:11:23,960 --> 01:11:25,280
Where'd he go?
1133
01:11:25,280 --> 01:11:27,830
I don't know, but I think...
I think we're on our own.
1134
01:11:27,830 --> 01:11:30,020
No.
1135
01:11:30,020 --> 01:11:31,630
Hey, look, there's
no hard feelings,
1136
01:11:31,630 --> 01:11:33,080
but we got to get out of here.
1137
01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:37,420
[GROWLING]
1138
01:11:37,420 --> 01:11:39,210
Oops, too late for you.
1139
01:11:39,210 --> 01:11:40,200
[GUNSHOT]
1140
01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:41,190
Oh, ahh!
1141
01:12:18,890 --> 01:12:20,380
[GROWLING]
1142
01:12:26,330 --> 01:12:27,320
Right here.
1143
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:30,790
Look over... right there.
1144
01:12:30,790 --> 01:12:32,280
[GROWLING]
1145
01:12:46,670 --> 01:12:49,080
I'm gonna kick
your fucking ass.
1146
01:12:49,080 --> 01:12:49,780
Are you crazy?
1147
01:12:49,780 --> 01:12:51,090
You can go kick
them by yourself.
1148
01:13:08,950 --> 01:13:10,430
This is it!
1149
01:13:21,350 --> 01:13:22,850
[SCREAMING]
1150
01:13:31,050 --> 01:13:34,440
Come on, I'll kick your
fucking ass, motherfucker.
1151
01:13:34,440 --> 01:14:14,690
[WHIMPERING]
1152
01:14:14,690 --> 01:14:30,990
[WHIMPERING]
1153
01:14:30,990 --> 01:14:33,870
Die, you bastards!
Ahh!
1154
01:15:11,460 --> 01:15:13,450
[WILBUR SCREAMING]
1155
01:15:40,280 --> 01:16:00,770
[SCREAMING]
1156
01:16:00,770 --> 01:16:12,820
[CRYING]
1157
01:16:12,820 --> 01:16:22,240
- [WHIMPERING]
- No!
1158
01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:55,880
[SCREAMING]
1159
01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:56,870
[RIPPING]
1160
01:17:10,540 --> 01:17:11,240
Ahh!
1161
01:17:49,090 --> 01:18:17,480
[SCREAMING]
1162
01:18:17,480 --> 01:18:19,470
[GROWLING]
1163
01:18:44,060 --> 01:18:45,180
[MOTOR RUNNING]
1164
01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:53,660
Help!
1165
01:18:59,150 --> 01:19:00,650
[LISA SCREAMING]
1166
01:20:07,020 --> 01:20:08,510
[GROWLING]
1167
01:20:42,440 --> 01:22:08,490
[SCREAMING]
1168
01:22:08,490 --> 01:22:09,990
[FOOTSTEPS]
1169
01:24:14,740 --> 01:25:28,590
[CRYING]
1170
01:25:28,590 --> 01:25:31,570
- [GROWLING]
- Ahh!
1171
01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:39,010
No!
No!
1172
01:26:39,030 --> 01:26:40,740
Come on, Missy.
1173
01:26:40,740 --> 01:26:43,700
Dark times is here.
1174
01:26:43,700 --> 01:26:46,620
We best be going, yes we do.
1175
01:26:46,620 --> 01:26:49,050
We best leave now.
1176
01:26:49,050 --> 01:26:51,160
Don't you worry none.
1177
01:26:51,160 --> 01:26:53,820
The tobacco man won't hurt you.
1178
01:26:53,820 --> 01:26:55,810
[VOICES ECHOING]
1179
01:27:19,720 --> 01:27:22,960
[BABY CRYING]
78766
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.