Original subtitles

[upbeat maritime music]

- [Group] We're the pirates next door.

[page sizzles]

[birds chirping]

- Daddy, daddy!

I won the drawing competition at school!

And the teacher even said it was the most

beautiful mermaid she'd ever seen.

- Well I think your mermaid looks like a sea cucumber.

- Guess what the cucumber thinks you look like?

- Well done, that's very pretty my darling.

But it looks nothing like a mermaid.

And in 30 years of pirating, I've seen my share of mermaids.

I even met your mother because of one of them.

- She was a Syrena Paniculata.

No, this is more like a Syrena Gorgerlath,

the tail was a bit bigger, and it had fins here.

[bagpipes playing]

- It's not my fault if I've never seen a mermaid!

If we lived at sea like other pirates, I might be able

to draw proper mermaids!

- You can thank your lucky stars you've never crossed one.

See that!

A present from the devil creatures of doom.

- Poor Nugget, and I don't see why you

told her that it doesn't look right.

Mermaids don't exist anyway.

- Of course they do, and pirate worth his salt

has seen at least one mermaid in his life.

- Alright then, show me one.

- Sorry, I can't, it's not the season.

I know what!

Let's organize a mermaid hunt for Nugget.

- I thought it wasn't the season.

- It's always the season for making

your little sister happy.

[sighs]

[door creaks]

Hey there, how do you fancy a stroll along the beach

with your favorite big brother?

- Can I come instead of Nugget?

Today's a really special day, isn't it?

- That's right Matilda, today is the one day in the year

when mermaids come close to the coast to shed their skins.

- Mermaids!

Did you say mermaids!

I want to come!

- Sorry Matilda, maybe next time.

And I want to see you on the beach before low tide,

or else I'll make you walk the plank.

- Yahoo!

[laughs]

[giggles]

[whistles]

- You see Bones, I put the clue in the hole,

and then you guide Jim and Nugget to the clue, got it?

[dog panting]

- Hey, you sure you're not mixing

you're mermaids up with your princesses?

Mermaids are really dangerous!

They've got claws and sharp teeth!

To rip open their prey.

- Hmm, how horrible, I can't wait to see one.

Nugget will be here soon, did you bring my costume?

- Well it's three days old,

but it's the biggest I could find.

With this you'll be the most beautiful mermaid ever.

[flies buzzing]

- Ah!

But that's not a costume!

- [Nugget] Jim?

Jim?

- I'm off, good luck.

- Ah!

- Mermaids are really dangerous, you have to be very clever

if you don't want them to spot you.

I was lucky enough to learn mermaid hunting from the greats.

Because you need sharp eyes, laser sharp reactions,

to hunt these deadly creatures.

[gasp]

[dog panting]

- A scale!

Do you think it's a scale from a mermaid?

- Nice work, you smart little pirate.

I'm so proud of you.

You know there are more than 400 species of mermaids.

This one is typical of mermaids from the south seas.

[dog barking]

Ah, looks like Bones' found something.

[laughs]

I wonder what fresh clue we're going to find.

No you're not dreaming, that really is a magnificent tiara.

[gasps]

In the form of tin of baked beans.

[laughs]

Swimming from the south seas sharpens the appetite.

This time I bet it's a ring.

Mermaids just love rings.

[giggles]

Ah, maybe she got thirsty too.

- Ah, Nugget.

Jim, Nugget, I'd say streets.

[cannon explosion]

- Oh!

- I'll bet your bottom bills they've gone off

with empty bellies again.

Grandpa, Jim and me have gone to the beach to hunt mermaids.

If we find the one that ate your hand, I promise we'll rip

its fins off for yeah.

[laughing]

I love you, signed Nugget.

Some cuttlefish is gonna kidnap them.

Those creatures have deadlier than a

soul of septic sea serpents!

- Watch out for the land [mumbles]

[squawks]

- I have to save my offspring

from those malevolent mermaids.

Blast this land sickness!

- And I suppose that's a mermaids slipper.

- Exactly!

Hey, you getting hungry?

Good then I'll go and get you an ice cream,

but only because you insist.

What are you playing at?

Why did you leave rubbish instead of the clues?

- Rubbish?

What are you talking about?

I did exactly as we agreed.

[dog barks]

- Oh no!

- Bones!

- If Nugget finds out I lied about mermaids,

she'll slice me into sushi.

- Don't worry, she wants to see a mermaid,

so she's going to see a mermaid.

I'll hide behind a rock.

I just stick out me tiara and I wiggle my

lovely mermaid's tail and Bob's your uncle.

[grunting]

- Buckets of seawater might be a good idea to avoid contact

with the land, but I don't want to see my grandkids

served up as lobscouse to those devilish mermaids.

We need to find a faster vessel.

[bird squawks]

- Too bad you can't fly grandpa.

- Ah ha!

I found a less skinny mount.

[water slashing]

Here we go!

Oh you start, you piece of rotten flotsam.

[engine roars]

[screaming]

- I can't believe it.

I saw her with her tail, and her tiara.

I could have almost touched her.

- Really?

Where?

- [whispers] Look behind the rock, she's over there.

- The things we do to make little girls happy.

- Can you see her?

- Looks like a big fat tuna to me.

- What are you doing?

- I'm going to look, how else can I draw her?

- Stop, you'll frighten her.

- Well I don't think it's a real mermaid,

she's not even signing.

- That's because mermaids never sing

while they shed their skin, it's a scientific fact.

- We can't see her, we can't hear her, it's rubbish.

I bet you've been lying right from the start.

Because you are the most lying big brother!

[lawn mower engine roars]

- Where's the anchor!

- I should report you!

[yells]

- These rotten land lover contraptions.

Lay anchor will ya?

[yells]

[intense chase music]

Here they are!

Our cunning lads!

Grandpa to the rescue.

Port the corks.

[bird mumbles]

- Sheep, grazing in the meadows.

[dog howling]

- The mermaid's singing about sheep.

She's off her head.

- Stop that's a protected species,

you're not allowed to catch it.

- Come on, don't you want to see what she looks like?

That mermaid.

- Mermaids a mermaid, when you see one.

Nugget!

[yells]

[crying]

- Alas, you malignant mermaid!

- I can't believe this family.

- If you touch one,

- Stop grandpa!

It's not a mermaid, it's Matilda!

- You knew?

- I may not have been at sea as long as you,

but I can tell the difference between Matilda and a mermaid.

[grunting]

[laughs]

- Grandpa, it's me, Matilda.

- Don't you waste your song on me you siren.

I can't hear a thing with me earplugs.

[laughs]

she's a wailie old [mumbles].

- But grandpa, you see it's Matilda!

[boat motor roars]

- He can't hear a thing, what's going to happen to me!

[grunting]

- Ah, you shall not take me creature of doom!

Oh, help, help!

I'm drowning!

- No you're not, you're on the beach.

- Oh not, not dry land!

[happy instrumental music]

Matilda, what are you doing here you little weasel.

This isn't time for me to cast of a land lover.

With that mermaid a prowling to gobble us up.

- Don't worry grandpa, she's far away by now.

- Jim and Nugget took care of her.

- Look grandpa, I didn't see any mermaids,

but I did do you a nice drawing.

- Ah!

No!

That devil mermaid is eating my hand!

[yelling]

- Our plan might not have fooled Nugget,

but it was a knockout with grandpa.

[laughs]

[upbeat maritime music]

[slow sad music]

[upbeat maritime music]

- [Group] We're the pirates next door!

[bells chiming]

[birds chirping]

- Comrades of the sea should help each other.

[knife banging]

[dog barking]

- I told you he'd be able to get it back for you didn't I?

- It looks as if Dolancee's finally

taking a liking to you Jim.

[gasps]

- Crumbs thanks, I must have gone to sleep.

It's a good thing we got you pirates here.

- What's this I hear, the pirates are sweety,

the pirates are helpful, balderdash!

Sooner or later those albatrosses will cast

a cloud of doom over this town.

- Ms. Bevon, you're being to hard.

- The pirates are really helpful.

- That's right, be complacent about it,

just don't say I didn't warn you.

- By the way Matilda, I didn't mention it,

but this afternoon we have to get,

[loud explosion]

[ball smashes]

- There's the mid-day cannon.

Time for lunch.

- What were you just saying about this afternoon?

[mumbling pirate noises]

do you have something stuck in your throat?

Are you ill?

[mumbling]

I'm going to call a doctor.

Hey!

- Arg!

[mumbles and grumbles]

[grumbles]

[mumbling]

- Ah, Jim can you tell me what's going on here?

- Oh, heavens above, why are they screaming

like a bunch of rabid baboons today?

[mumbling]

- You're organizing a boarding party?

It's your anniversary of your victory of Black Barron.

[mumbles]

I'm just not getting it Jim.

Can't you just tell me what's going on in plain English.

[group mumbling together]

- They've all lost their whits.

- Okay, okay, forget it.

A book?

You want to go to the library?

Yeah, it might have to answer we're looking for.

- Oh!

[mumbles]

- Arg!

[sinister string music]

- Let's see, gout, goal, gun wounds.

Is that you I can smell?

[door creaks]

oh no, any pirate who suddenly starts talking gibberish,

has the terrible black pirate fever.

[gasps]

- Black pirate fever.

Black pirate fever.

- Ah, it's the international proper pirate parley day.

One day a year, from midday, to six o'clock,

pirates revert to their ancestral dialect of groars,

ars, and larks.

- Ar.

- Pirate parley.

[mumbles]

So it's a tradition, not a horrible illness.

Can you teach me some more?

[yells]

- Epidemic alert, this library is closing immediately.

Everyone out!

Except for the Roberts girl, her diseased friend,

and that dog with them.

[gasps]

- Ar!

- The pirates have black fever!

If you don't want to end up with sneezes and wheezes,

scabies and rabies, one touch is all it takes

to be contaminated and on the road to death.

- Are you sure?

They looked healthy enough this morning.

- It spreads dreadfully fast.

- And the little Roberts girl already contaminated.

We both heard her groaning through the door.

- I've told you a thousand times that

they'd bring disaster to this town.

- You can't trust pirates, I've always said that.

[grunting]

[quivers]

- Black fever!

[crowd panicking]

- Look at this.

[mumbles]

You're right, this is Bevon's doing.

She must have overheard us in the library.

So now she's scaring everyone with takes of the black fever.

Hey, did you see that?

I understood what you said.

[groaning]

It's action stations Jim!

Come on, we'll show them that they've got it all wrong.

[doomsday music]

You have nothing to fear,

it's international proper pirate parley day.

[groans]

You see?

We're not ill at all.

[screams]

- Dad, wait for me.

[screams]

- Look here.

It's written in this book on pirates.

[splashes]

It's just outlandish.

[tires screeching]

I could teach you it if you want.

None of them want to know.

It's really not that hard to understand.

[mumbles] means hello.

[groans] means goodbye.

And [mumbles] means,

- Psst, hey, haven't you seen the posters?

The black fever's upon us.

- Come back Alexia, it's alright, there is no fever!

It's just parley.

Right, crisis meeting, back to your house.

[doomsday music]

- So epidemic, or eviction?

Who is against eviction?

No one?

Who's for it?

- Maybe they've just caught a chill.

- Great then, who wants to go

and announce it to the pirates?

- Buwich, run along son, you're a champion.

- Splendid.

[dog barking]

[gasps]

[mumbles]

[mumbles]

- An eviction notice?

We can't deal with this by ourselves.

We have to find someone who can convince them of the truth.

One day a year, from midday to six o'clock,

pirates revert to their ancestral dialect of,

[mumbles]

and do you see, Ms. Bevon got the whole thing wrong.

- I must admit we were rather nervous at first,

especially when the constable phoned us to tell us

not to go outside because of the black fever.

[laughs]

- But they can't just evict the Jolley-Rogers for no reason.

We must do something.

- We'll go and talk to Ms. Bevon.

In fact that's what you should have done

from the very beginning.

I'm sure she didn't mean any harm really.

- Yeah, [mumbles]

- Yeah.

Does that mean thank you?

Or something to do with rotten fish?

- Eviction, eviction, eviction, eviction!

Come along now, I think you're all

taking this a bit too far.

[groans]

- We're afraid, we just want you to leave.

- Actually you have no choice in the matter.

We have a ship, ready to take you away.

- [Group] Eviction, eviction, eviction, eviction!

- It's a misunderstanding, they don't have a fever,

it's just their language.

It's a pirate tradition.

We could prove it to you.

It's written in the big book of,

- Who cares about that, if it's a language,

they can prove it by speaking normally.

- Yes, Ms. Bevon's right.

- Jim, it would settle it all.

[groans]

You're right, not before six o'clock, that's the tradition.

And you never mess with pirate tradition.

- Ar.

- If you don't get out, we'll burn your boat.

- [groans] such fine language.

- Ar, did he say ar?

- Did he just say ar?

- Did he say ar?

- They're contaminated, we have to burn the boat!

[groans]

[cannon explosion]

[groans]

- Down with the black fever.

[shots fired]

- We have to stop this Jim.

Grandpa's really getting their goat.

You [mumble], me [groan].

[playful music]

[groans]

Oh, come on!

[clock chimes]

Hey, listen!

- I was starting to think today would never end.

- Six o'clock, that's the cut off time.

It's tradition.

- But you're speaking normally.

- Yeah, we're not savages, not like some.

- But we thought that.

- Actually we used to think.

- It doesn't make the slightest bit of difference,

I'm still terrified that I'll get the black [coughs].

- She, it's the black fever!

- The black fever, we must stop her!

[cannon fires]

[bell dings]

- Why is our clock only ringing now?

[calm instrumental music]

[yells]

- I think I'm ready for the next

international pirate parley day myself.

[upbeat maritime music]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0