Original subtitles

[uplifting music]

[cat meows]

? The Pirates next door

- That is how my ancestor Rackum Redblood,

won a battle against 1,000 men.

- That's odd, Jim.

According to the town records,

you do not descend from Rackum Redblood,

but from Francis Flunkey.

[children gasp]

- I've never even heard of that pirate.

What did he do?

Did he sink the king's fleet?

- Well, he wasn't a pirate.

He was an expert in edict.

- What's edict?

What's that mean?

- Not speaking with your mouth full,

not going around slamming doors,

taking your shoes off before --

- Aye, Jim.

So much for all that showing off

about your ancestor pirates.

[children giggle]

[Jim growls]

- Brent, it's wonderful to have an ancestor

who knew all about good manners,

it's very useful --

- When you're a pretend pirate.

- Jim's a pretend pirate, Jim's a pretend pirate.

- Children, please.

- [Little Girl] Jim's a pretend pirate,

Jim's a pretend pirate!

- I dare you to say that again.

Whoa!

- You alright, Jim?

- Aw.

- And after tea we'll go to the lighthouse.

Won't that be fun?

Did you know that Captain Kid came through Deloncy once?

He must have left some gold dinguts around here somewhere.

We could have a treasure hunt.

- [Jim] Whatever.

- Aw.

- No, my fish. [parrot squawking]

Whoa!

- Look's like the boy's caught a bought

of pirate's petulance.

- Pirate?

We'd have to be real ones to catch that.

You're just an old liar, Grandpa!

- A liar.

Blow me down, small fry.

How dare you insult your own blood line?

- Hey, I didn't do anything.

Jim, do you still wanna go to the lighthouse?

- No thank you.

I'm going to Mrs. Bevin's for a lesson in edict.

- Blimey.

That does need a good lesson in manners.

- Hm.

- Oh?

[knocking]

- Oh.

- Grandpa!

We need to show Jim he is a real pirate.

I have an idea, but you're going to

have to let me come on board.

- What?

A land lover on me boat?

- Only till Jim gets back to normal again.

- Hm.

Well alright.

But only this once, mind.

[spits]

Put it there.

- Ugh.

[teapot clanking]

- One raises the cup to one's lips

while holding one's saucer.

Watch that little finger!

Hold it up right.

There, that's better.

Then one places ones cup back on the saucer.

Well done.

I knew you had it in you somewhere.

- [Squawk] Jim, Jim!

- Squawk would you, could do, please, I beg that you refrain

from calling me Jim.

From now on my name is Francis.

[Bones barking]

Sit Bones, and stop barking.

It's very impolite.

- Okay Francis.

Matilda's in danger.

- What?

I'm sorry Mrs. Bevin, I really must leave.

- Oh, Francis.

You should've saluted when you left.

You little pirate.

- Argh!

Gotcha now missy, eh?

[Matilda gasps]

[treacle bubbling]

- [Matilda] Help! - Hm?

- Is there no gallant soul around here to save me?

From this fate, worse than death?

- What's this all about?

What's the meaning of this disruption?

- I knew full well that we land lovers

aren't welcome on board.

Oh dear me, what was I thinking.

- He says he's going to throw her into the treacle.

What's the plan?

We board the galleon and take it from the rear?

No, I know!

We blow it all sky high.

- What?

And risk killing Matilda?

No.

Violence is never the answer.

- Huh?

- Instead I'll show you the wonders that can be achieved

with the diplomacy and politeness.

[Little Girl groans]

[Jim coughs]

- I come in peace.

- Oh!

- What the heck is that?

In all my pirate years, I've never seen the likes of this.

[treacle bubbles]

- Grandpa, I'm prepared to negotiate [shouts]

- Jim, attack him and release me!

I'd like to be home in time for tea.

- My name is Francis, not Jim.

If you agree to release Matilda,

I'm prepared to offer you lessons in good manners.

- I don't give a squid's eye about good manners.

- We're doing well,

we've established communication at least.

[Matilda sighs]

[seagulls squawking]

[instruments clanging]

- Be reasonable Grandpa.

You haven't even expressed any grievances.

- Oh since when do you need grievances to take prisoners.

I'm a pirate, remember?

I haven't used my good ol' plank in a long time.

- I must say grandpa doesn't seem very open

to the idea of diplomacy.

- Great!

Which means we can attack then.

- Oh, we should ask Mrs. Bevin's help.

[Bones whines]

- Pst, Grandpa!

I need you to push me along the plank.

- Enough chin wagging [laughs]

Say goodbye to your damsel, Francis.

Before she takes a little swim.

- Jim, Francis!

Do something, quick!

- Go on.

[canon firing]

- Get off my lawn, you moldy sea urchin.

You're gonna have to do better than that.

[giggles]

- Ah!

[upbeat music]

- Missed again!

- We're never gonna get close to the ship.

That's because I'm not genuinely a pirate.

I don't have it in me.

Aye, what's the corn for?

[Matilda laughs]

- Hey, you, get back to your plank immediately.

- Ah, we stuffed the canon bowers with these bags,

grandpa won't be able to fire it at us!

You aim inside the canon, then, when he can't fire anymore,

I'll hop on board the ship.

[canon explodes]

- That's a bullseye!

The lassie's better than you do.

- Hah, that'll teach you.

[explosion]

[glasses clatter]

- I wonder where Matilda has gone to?

- She's probably out playing pirates

again with the neighbors son.

- Ah!

Canon ball.

- Ah, that's better.

[canon groans]

[corn kernels pop]

- Whoa, popcorn of war!

- Hang on, this is not really fitting behavior

for a descendant of Francis Flunky.

- [Grandpa] That's enough.

I knew I should never have let one

of those land lovers on board.

- Grandpa, you do remember this is just an act, right?

We're doing it for Jim.

I'm not really your prisoner [screams]

That is disgusting.

Jim, Jim!

You can do it.

You are a true pirate.

- Jim!

[Matilda groans]

- [Jim] Yah!

[Jim laughs]

- Oh thank you Francis.

Now you're no longer needed here,

you may get back to your politeness classes.

- What?

While we're having so much fun?

- Tehe.

- Alright then.

Are you ready to teach Grandpa a lesson, Francis?

- Come back here you barnacles!

You won't get off lightly, you know?

- Aha, pirates always ready!

[upbeat banjo music]

- Hey I'm a pirate, too, you know?

- It was so much fun pretending

to Jim that you were a prisoner.

We should do it more often.

- Huh?

You weren't really a prisoner?

- Jim, we just wanted you to believe in yourself.

Ever since that whole Francis Flukny thing,

you were convinced you weren't a pirate anymore.

- Who cares about Flunky?

We are true pirates.

We pillage, we slam doors, and before we eat,

we don't wash our hands.

- You're right!

And did you see that battle?

Just like Captain Kid, [he laughs],

it'll go down in history!

Especially when I forged ahead, courageous and--

- Jim.

I thought that story about Francis Flunky was bit odd,

so I did some research,

and it turns out there was an error in the official records.

Francis Flunky was an ancestor of Brent's, not yours.

You only have pirates as ancestors.

- Oh yeah, of course.

I knew that all along.

Thanks, though, Ms. Green.

[girls laugh]

- Don't forget about me you mullet brains!

[Grandpa groans]

Untie me you gallows feet.

Or I'll send you to Davy Jones locker!

[upbeat music]

[slow calming music]

? The Pirates next door

[Squawk cooing]

[Grandpa laughs]

- Now what?

A little less.

Yes.

To the left.

- Avast, I made it clear, no land lovers on me ship.

I'll have ye dangling off the end of me hook missy.

- Shh, or you'll spoil my surprise.

- What surprise?

- I've given your grandpa an ink pen and quill

so he can write his memoirs.

It's the least I can do to make up

for all the times I've come on board.

[Grandpa yells]

[Squawk yells]

- [Squawk] You've got some real nerve. [gun fires]

Never to return.

- Well good riddance, you flea ridden feather duster!

- Ah, Grandpa why're you being so hard on Squawk?

- That scrawny owl accused me of having another bird!

I've been true to this from the word go.

- Another bird?

- Yes he found this hear feather of doom.

[Jim laughs]

- That's just a --

- If I catch the scoundrel who gave him that idea'r,

I'll give him a jolly roger tattoo with my here cutlass.

What were you saying?

- I was just saying that the feather you --

- We won't bother you any longer, sir.

You've probably got lots of scoundrels to catch and kill.

I mean lots of things to do.

Come on, Jim, come on.

[suspenseful music]

[Grandpa sighs]

- It would've been easiest to just come clean.

- And end up on a skewer?

No thanks, besides, I made the mistake,

it's up to me to repair it.

We just need to find Squawk

and make them both friends again, that's all.

Come on, someone must know where he went.

- A parrot stole my pancake [cries].

[trumpet squeaking]

- Squawk came and pecked me horn to bits with his beak.

He said it reminded him of the noise Grandpa makes

when he blows his nose.

- Yeah, and he told me that the pattern on my kite

is identical to the one on Grandpa's long johns.

[trumpet squeals]

- Aw, and I just finished cleaning.

- I was just hanging out my washing to dry,

and this monster came out and ransacked it,

just like that, for no reason.

Worse still, he even attacked my little Felix.

- I've never known Squawk to behave like this.

[Squawk squawks]

- You filthy feathered freak!

Give me back my fish and you be quick about it!

No, come on [yells]

Doh!

- What am I going to do about my washing line?

- Doh.

[Little Girl yells]

- Grandpa, Grandpa!

Can we have a sword fight?

Are you ill?

Do you want a glass of cod liver oil?

- Is that you, Squawk?

Oh.

- Come on, Grandpa!

- Doh!

Go easy you powder monkey.

- Why don't we shoot a canon ball?

You'll feel better.

Huh?

[fire crackles]

[canon booms]

You miss Squawk, don't you?

- Shady gone way with another bird?

After all I've done for him.

- Look out, that parrot's probably rabid.

Let me do it.

[Jim groans]

- Oh!

[net swishes]

Oh, I'll make you pay for this!

[Jim laughs]

- Goodbye you bumbling fools.

I'm off!

None of you deserve me [laughs]

[Matilda and Jim laugh]

- You won't be laughing when the town hall

sends you parents the bill for the dry cleaning.

I've noted it all down.

- All that fuss over a stain.

- You're right, boy.

The stain is insignificant compared to the pleasure

I'll have, seeing your parents get thrown of this town

for vandalism and assault.

Oh!

[Jim and Matilda laugh]

- I'm sorry, Jim.

This is all my fault.

I'm gonna tell Grandpa everything.

So what if I get punished?

At least Squawk and Grandpa will be friends again.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

You go, and track down Squawk.

? Oh me heart is sunken to the depths of the hole ?

? Winter blows it's icy breath

- Shut up!

- Shut up!

? Ignoring --

- Look, Grandpa!

Matilda's on the lawn.

Do you want to shoot at her?

- Oh, no land lovers on the lawn, I said.

Do what you want, on or off board.

I don't actually give a squid's ink sack what you do.

- I have to tell you, the feather which caused

this tiff with Squawk, was my fault from the start.

I just wanted to give you a gift.

- Bildge, squil!

So it was you.

[canon booms]

- If I were you, I'd write him a nice little letter.

- [Policeman] Here pretty polly.

[Squawk squawks]

- Do I look like a canary to you?

[canon ball booms]

[Jim yells]

- It's alright, matey.

Me message has arrived in the right place.

[Little Girl laughs]

- Hey Squawk, here's a letter for you.

- A letter?

- It must be from Grandpa, do you want me to read it?

'Dear Squawk, I miss you more than ever.

There's a hole in my heart deeper than the black hole.

And only your sharp claws,

and crooked beak could possible fill it.

Get your tail back here,

or I'll pluck you and roast you for dinner,'

oh, um, no sorry, got that wrong.

'If you come back, I'll roast some

delicious sardines for you.'

[Squawk squawks]

- I'm very happy here.

Gotten a new friend.

- Oh, don't you worry, I wasn't gonna roast you.

Oh, ah!

- Well?

- The traitor.

He's found a new skipper!

It's a vulgar village Bobby to boot!

Oh I'll make him pay for this.

- I knew that last line in the letter

wasn't such a good idea.

- I'm gonna blast that treacherous mangy claw bag

right off the map and seven seas.

- I'm sure we can come up with some solution.

[canon booms]

- Oh!

[trumpet squeals]

- Oh!

- Grandpa does not have another bird, I swear.

The feather was a present from Matilda.

- Maybe, but he always growls at me.

I need to be respected.

[canon whistles]

[cat meows]

- Let me, ma'am.

I'll see you safely across.

- You're taking it too far, come on,

I'm sure you must miss Grandpa.

- Not one bit.

- I get it.

It's so much more exciting directing road traffic.

Firing salmas and canon balls and hunting for treasure,

sailing the seven seas, that's much more boring.

- Doh!

Come, come back here!

- Hey sounds like Grandpa's calmed down.

Now might be a good time to go and talk to him.

- You are right.

I took it a bit far.

- No more Captain nice guy.

I'm gonna blow this town to smithereens,

then when there's nothing left for the ship,

he'll have no choice but to come home.

- Give me that!

You know that Mom doesn't like you to play with dynamite.

You get too excited to sleep.

- Don't care.

I'm not tired anyway.

- Nugget.

Grab the sticks.

- Stealing dynamite from your Grandpa?

Oh well, well those dirty land lovers certainly are a

marvelous influence on you.

- Ow!

Well one things for sure,

he's a lot calmer now.

- Oh, Squawk.

Squawk you've come -- [he yells]

My birdy buddy.

- Is this how you welcome your birdy buddy?

If that's how it is, I'm off, forever!

- Squawk!

- No Grandpa, you're gonna be sick!

[suspenseful music]

- If you don't want to lose him forever,

you'll have to take the plunge.

- Squawk, please!

Don't leave me.

- Grandpa!

Grandpa!

I'm so sorry.

I promise I'll never leave you again, Grandpa?

[Grandpa laughs]

- I'm gonna teach that girl a lesson once and for all.

- [Squawk] You could hang her upside down,

over the shore of socks.

- I've got a better idea.

To start with, we have a filet of sardine,

sauteed in cod liver oil,

with a delicious blubbered drizzle dressing.

- At your service gentlemen.

- Oops, sorry.

[Jim yells]

- Don't eat so fast, you might choke yourself.

- I will not let you speak to me like that.

I demand respect.

- Respect?

You won't get that from me till you deserve it,

you mangy feather duster.

You rabid ball of fluff.

[upbeat music]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0