Original subtitles

[dreary music]

[lively music]

? We're the pirates next door

[loud drill whirring]

- Whoops!

What is that noise?

[mischievous music]

Hmm.

[seagull caws]

Fetch, birdy!

[seagull caws]

[board loudly creaks]

Oh no!

[seagull caws]

- Who goes there?

- Forgot to knock, did we?

- Sorry, I just wanted to take a peek inside.

[coughs] Hmm.

- Phew, that was close.

- No foreigners on me vessel!

Arg! [cackles]

- Gotcha!

- Anyone else care to board me ship?

- You've really shivered Grandpa's timbers.

You do know landlubbers aren't allowed to climb aboard.

- I didn't touch anything, I promise.

[loud creaking]

- You were saying?

- Horn swoggles!

Who just raised the--

- [Parrot] Here we go, Grandpa!

[Nugget laughs]

- Ha ha! You should come here more often, Matilda!

- Yes, at least we're gonna see some action!

- Oh, look out!

Ahoy, ship ahoy!

[man sings]

[horn blows]

- What are your thoughts about jumping overboard?

- Are you joking?

The captain never abandons his ship!

- [Grandpa] Got you, dropping the anchor there, you!

[cat meows]

- Bet you I can get it on the first try!

- Whatever you want!

Just do it!

- Ha ha!

Not too bad, huh?

- I don't want to spoil the fun, but...

We're heading right for the school!

[students gasp]

- There'll be no school!

[loud crash]

[Matilda and Jim yell]

[suspenseful music]

- Wow, that was fun.

- That was the fastest ride to school I've ever had.

- Well, well.

This is the third incident this week.

The pirates strike yet again.

- Oh, no worries.

As long as the boat's okay.

- Jim, your grandpa!

[Grandpa laughing]

- Hey, look at that!

Someone's had their kippers! [laughs]

[Adults scream]

[Grandpa laughs]

- I'm warning you!

This time I'm calling the police!

- All right, let's get the boat out.

[Matilda gasps]

It's me, Grandpa!

Stop!

- Jim, you're siding with the enemy.

I'm the only true seadog around here.

- Okay, looks like we're gonna need a helping hand.

- It's not going to be easy with your grandpa in the ship.

- 53... 54... 55.

[television blares]

- Is that you, Edward?

[cat yowls]

- 56.

- I kind of like having a ship right inside the school.

- But if we don't act fast, Jim's grandpa

will get rid of the school altogether.

[cannon blasts]

- 100!

He's just fired his very last cannonball.

[cannon blasts]

At least, I hope so.

Maybe we should wait til he calms down.

- Him? Calm down?

[laughs] Not likely.

- Grandpa's run out of ammunition,

so here's what we're going to do.

[mischievous music]

- Okay, follow me.

[Matilda cries out]

[seagull caws]

- Ugh, disgusting!

- Do you wish to board?

[Max yells] [Grandpa laughs]

- Yellow-belly, in a hurry, are we?

- Ugh!

[kids yell]

[Grandpa laughs]

- That was cod liver oil!

Yuck!

[Grandpa laughs]

- Look out, Jim!

- [laughs] He's bluffing!

Can't fool me.

- Six fruit and veg per day,

like the landlubbers say. [laughs]

Arr, there ain't a soul alive who can sink this old seadog.

- Shiver me beak!

- Right, we'll have to do something else.

Bevan will be back soon with the police.

- To take control of a boat, you have to be on a vessel.

I'm going to show you how a real pirate captain does it.

Max, you'll be the gunner.

Matilda, I want you as my bosun.

- Aye aye, captain!

- And what about me?

- You're the ship's boy.

- And you have the most important job of all.

[seagull caws]

- Nice work, Nugget!

- Hoist the sail!

- [Matilda] Weigh anchor!

[bones crunch]

[triumphant music]

- We've been spotted!

Melons incoming.

- Hard to port!

[kids scream]

[wood crunches]

- Aim your boot!

- Max, now's the time to get out your best gadget.

- What? [grumbles]

- Whoa! - Yay!

- Traitors!

- Aw, a baby photo of Jim.

How sweet.

- Matilda, this is not a good time.

[parrot squawks]

- There's a sea breeze blowing.

Aim slightly to the left.

- Shiver me--

[parrot gurgles]

- Yes, bull's eye, me hearties!

- Prepare to board the enemy ship!

[triumphant music]

Now that's how you board a ship.

Huh?

[tense music]

[boards squeak]

Shh.

- Whoa!

Let me out!

It's dark in here!

[Kids shriek]

[Grandpa chuckles]

- Two for the price of one!

- You'll never catch a real pirate like me. [yells]

I was wrong.

All right, Matilda, you're on your own now.

- You again?

You're asking for it.

- But Grandpa, we only want to help you

put the ship back where it belongs.

Can I take a little peek inside, please?

- Oh, I'm gonna put you back where you belong.

20 fathoms deep, feeding the fishes. [cackles]

[parrot's muffled squawks]

- There we are.

- Okay, Grandpa.

That's enough playing around now.

- You trying to catch me out, coward?

Traitor!

Whoa!

[mischievous music]

- Nice work!

- So, Grandpa, who's the old seadog now then? [laughs]

- Oh, scoot your scales off my ship, you bunch of--

- Jim, he is your grandpa.

- Precisely.

He's been through worse, trust me.

- That's them!

They're shooting at anything that moves.

Just look at what these savages have done to the school.

It's going... [shrieks]

They're attacking!

- Ms. Bevan, how kind of you to offer

to help us haul the boat back to port.

The ship came ashore here quite by accident,

but luckily, no one got hurt.

- Yeah, the lighthouse was out, so we couldn't see land.

- Well, the school needed repairs doing to it anyway.

It crumbled way too easily.

That's not good.

- Besides, the town looks really nice

with cannonballs strewn all over it, don't you think?

- Do something, please, officer!

- My grandpa is a bit loopy these days,

but please don't be too hard on him.

- Oh, of course we aren't.

It's not as bad as all that.

- Oh, it's beyond me.

- My baby!

Oh, my darling!

It's all all right.

[kids laugh]

[police officer laughs]

[cheerful music]

- Oh, what a pain.

Why do we have to pick up all of Grandpa's ammo?

- It's okay.

We could have a worse punch boat.

What is all that noise coming from the boat?

- That is Grandpa filing his nails.

[Grandpa laughs madly]

[Matilda shrieks]

- [laughs] Oh, come on, Matilda!

[lively music]

[dreary music]

[lively music]

? We're the pirates next door

? We love fish soup

? Do you know why?

? 'Cause the tin don't pop

? Without the fish to fry

? We love fish soup

? Do you know why?

? 'Cause the tin don't pop

? Without the fish to fry

? We love fish soup

? Do you know why?

? 'Cause the tin don't pop

- Grandpa?

Got some tuna for you!

- Thanks, me boy!

I swear on Davy Jones himself,

I will never set foot on land.

Beware, children, when you live like a landlubber,

all you get is trouble!

[Jim laughs]

- Hey, who closed the door when we left?

[tense music]

- Hey, what are you doing?

- The...the... the house!

It's... cl-cl-clean!

[kids gasp]

[dog whimpers]

[parents gasp]

What happened to Uncle Bill?

- It's been washed!

- It's all soft.

- It's been...

- [All] Ironed!

- Mommy, instead of my cutlass,

I found... this!

[doll says "Mommy, Mommy"]

- This paper's scen-scented!

With lavender!

[family sneezes]

- [Old Lady] Bless you.

[family shrieks]

- It's the curse of the Cozy Corsairs.

[family screams]

[doorbell rings]

- Oh!

- It happens to pirates who stay ashore too long.

First, it strikes the place they live in,

and then, the pirates themselves.

We start wearing shoes!

And then, one day, before you notice, bang!

Turned into landlubbers.

[tense music]

- Uh...

- What's wrong with being a landlubber?

- If we don't put to sea right away,

we'll transform, too, and then, so long pirate life.

I'll never sail again.

[Nugget sneezes]

- It's starting already.

Nugget's got a nasty lavender reaction.

- No way we're going back into that cursed house.

We'll finish repairing the ship tomorrow

and put to sea right after!

- In the meantime, of course, you're welcome to stay here.

- And we'll help you with the work.

- That's so kind.

You won't even notice we're here.

[Nugget sneezes]

[lamp crashes]

- I don't believe a word of all of this.

Come on!

Let's take a closer look.

- Oh, no.

You don't fool around with this stuff.

- Don't tell me you're scared.

- I'm warning you.

Don't complain if you get the curse, too.

- I already am a landlubber.

I don't see what more could happen to me.

- Here, no noise!

My parents will get worried if they see us in here.

A trap!

- Nope, just some felt slippers.

- Felt slippers!

Uh, what are felt slippers?

- Who could have waxed the floors?

- See, we weren't making this up!

- Can you smell a really strong scent of lavender?

- Lavender?

That's what made Nugget feel sick.

[loud crash]

Be careful!

It must be a ghost that's come to complete the curse!

[screams] I've been hit!

[suspenseful music]

- It was only lavender spray.

It looks like this ghost doesn't like

the smell of your house.

Don't you think that's strange?

[distant shriek]

- [Jim] The curse!

Is it here too?

- Oh, no worries.

It's just a sardine I had in me pocket.

- It's nice that you want to help, Matilda,

but there's nothing you can do.

[lively music]

[dog barks]

- Take a swig of this gooseberry wine.

It's delicious!

Grandpa pressed it with his own two feet.

- Hey, that means good luck!

- Let's hope it keeps the curse at bay.

- But there is no curse.

[creepy music]

- Good morning, everyone!

- As you've been so good, Ms. Bevan is taking you

to an exhibition of 19th century embroidery!

- How nice!

- They've started working again.

[power tools whirr]

- [Grandpa] You scurvy swabs!

I know jellyfishes stronger than you.

- We should go and help.

We can't stay here any longer.

Huh?

[Nugget yells]

[glass crashes]

[Nugget giggles]

- Watch out, Jim!

[Matilda giggles]

- [Grandpa] Told you we should've never set foot on land.

[knocks on door]

- Busy.

Hey!

- A little tap on the finger never hurt anyone.

Shiver me timbers!

My son smells of lavender!

- That's because of the ghost!

I'm turning into a landlubber.

- [sighs] If this keeps going, soon I'll be wearing shoes!

We have to put to sea at once.

Never mind the repairs on the ship.

We'll take another one.

[doorbell rings]

- I've heard that you're leaving us.

I've made you some luncheon meat for the road,

or, rather, for the sea. [laughs]

And this is to remind you of all the good times

we've had together.

- Thanks, that's kind.

- Hmm. You smell of lavender, Ms. Bevan.

- Oh, very good, then I shan't keep you.

- We're leaving as soon as we find a new ship.

- Never!

You hear me?

Never!

The Black Hole is my ship!

- It's like asking a barnacle to leave its shell.

You want to kill him? [squawks]

- But, Squawk, you're not gonna let me

turn into a landlubber, are you?

[bullets firing]

- Hmm... Lavender-scented.

What a coincidence.

- I have your ship!

I found you a new ship.

It's waiting for you in the harbor.

Now, I really would hate for you

to be struck by that terrible curse.

You could go now.

- Now, that's what I call good news.

- I'd rather sail for the king than abandon my ship.

- How did you know about the curse?

No one mentioned it.

- The curse?

Um, well...

- It's fine.

I'm sure we can tell everything to Grandpa.

He won't be angry at all.

[Grandpa grumbles]

- You'll pay for this!

You craft ship worms!

- [squawks] Look on the bright side.

We're putting out to sea.

- Grandpa, we have no choice.

It's because of the curse.

[Grandpa struggles and groans]

[tense music]

- Wait!

- Shh.

- I think I found a solution.

[parents clap]

You don't need to abandon your ship,

and you'll have all the time you need to repair it.

Didn't you know that we have

an expert curse lifter among us?

- Is that true, Mrs. Bevan?

You can help us?

- Woo! Woo!

Evil spirits part from hence!

Take your curse and leave this house!

Woo!

Woo!

Evil spirits part from hence.

Take your curse and leave this house!

Woo!

There.

You won't be disturbed again.

I promise.

So, goodbye then.

- Just a minute.

We haven't quite finished.

[fire crackles]

[chanting music]

- What about my cutlass?

Where is it?

- Woo!

I see...

I see that you will find your cutlass

and the stolen objects hidden under the hedge.

Woo!

Woo!

- Oh, put me back on deck, you sea slugs!

I'm starting to get antsy.

[lively music]

[Nugget laughs]

- It feels good to be back and not smell all that lavender.

- I think it's really worked now.

The curse is well and truly lifted.

Bevan won't be trying any more tricks. [giggles]

The ghost was really her.

It was her, who sprayed perfume everywhere.

- [coughs] Yeah, of course.

I knew that right away.

You can't fool an old pirate like me. [chuckles]

- You know, I'm glad you're staying

just a bit longer in Dull-on-Sea.

- Me too.

I'll really miss landlubbers like you when we leave.

- Thank you for putting us up.

- It was a pleasure.

[cheerful music]

- Oh, no.

You're not running off like that.

You're our guest for dinner!

We owe you that at least.

Jim, break out some lard and anchovies for Mrs. Bevan.

[Matilda laughs]

[lively music]

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