Original subtitles

[plucked harp melody]

[momentous orchestral music]

[chimes]

[violins]

[chimes]

[music concludes with harp]

[voice making whooshing noises]

[voice making explosion noise]

[chimes]

[woman] Our story.

We were pretending to date...

now we're not.

The end.

[man] You don't have a romantic bone in your body.

You know that right?

[woman] Fine Mr. Romance.

How would you tell our story?

[man] Once upon a time...

two little shepherds

met at their church's first living nativity.

Your mom was Mary.

Your dad was Joseph.

And we shared snacks.

[woman scoffs] Fourth grade?

Can we start this decade?

[man] Mmm. Okay fine.

We'll just skip the 20 year saga of how

you turned that into a week-long charity

extravaganza you call Christmas Mission.

Chapter 23.

Last Christmas.

Romance was in the air.

[woman] Something was in the air all right.

["In Other News" by Kenny Hass plays]

Hey, we're getting a group picture later right?

[short shepherd flirting]

Uh, let's put that by the stable.

Last night. Should we get a group photo?

Oh that's a great idea sweetheart!

Hah! Eat it loser!

Hey Jess, I was thinking--

Yes! We'll get a group picture.

[short shepherd] Honey, can you help me again? I can't reach...

[laughter]

[flirting continues]

Don't you just love Christmas?

Oh, I wish it was snowing though.

Yeah. You know, well it's Colorado.

- That's cute. - Yeah.

[wise man] Hey that's not fair.

[laughs] Yeah we're definitely getting the hang of this.

What? The non-stop flirting?

Ewww! Gross!

That's what I said, and they keep doing it.

Uh, no. This.

What? It's always been our thing.

And it's always been gross.

I just wish we could-- Keep it sanitary please!

[flirting continues]

Seriously, is summer mission gonna be this bad?

No. Worse.

I expect full on PG-rated shenanigans.

I will turn this stable around.

[they laugh]

Spinster.

Romantic.

Five minutes people!

♪ In other news ♪

♪ I'm fine, but my heart's still on the other side ♪

♪ Of over you ♪

♪ Ooh, I been trying to get there ♪

♪ But now I realize ♪

♪ Looking into those eyes ♪

♪ It's no surprise ♪

♪ Whoa, I'm still in love with you ♪

♪ In other news ♪

[Jess] Right there.

May I have everyone's...

- I wanted y'all here... - I'd like to make an announcement!

- [gasps] - Will you marry me?

Oh my gosh!

- Yes? Yes? - Yes! Yes!

[Jess] What's happening?

[wise man 2] We're all getting engaged!

[wise man] Three proposals!

[short shepherd] All of us! So exciting!

[laughter]

[man] And so began the Summer of Love.

- [Jess] Yeah, that's something else. - [man] What would you call it?

[Jess] A summer full of weddings? My worst nightmare.

[thunder]

Where all of my friends disappear.

[man] Don't forget everyone reminding you you're single.

[Jess] And my dad playing Cupid every wedding.

Do we have to go back inside? This is the worst part.

Don't be ridiculous. Nobody's gonna say anything.

- Wait, are you serious? - We might as well be wearing signs.

["Unstoppable" by Rachel Summers plays]

[distant thunder rolls]

[sighs] Okay. Where's my dad?

Guaranteed he tries to set me up with some guy.

What's the game plan?

I could dance with you if you want.

You know just to keep the other guys away.

[chains clanking]

[dance music continues]

[bridesmaid] Hi everyone!

I am so glad you all could make it to Nick and Beth's special day.

I especially gotta thank Jessica Roberts for making it all possible.

[quietly] Please tell me this isn't my fault.

Seriously Jess I can't even.

Like if we hadn't all met at your singles' retreat...

Summer Mission. It was a summer mission.

And Beth is 20. She's supposed to be single.

... I know that Lisa, Nick, Derek, and I's feelings

are totally the same.

All we want to know is...

[squeals] who's next?

- Oh. - [Alex coughs]

So here's to you, Jess.

Bethlehem Community's very own... matchmaker! [squeals]

[weak applause]

[applause increases, cheering]

What are you looking for?

My Cupid dust.

Hmm, what?

The bar Alex. I'm looking for the bar.

Beth is 20, remember?

Ugh. There should be a law!

Hey Pastor T! Ahem.

Hey Jess.

[mouths] Help me.

This is my beautiful daughter Jess.

Uh, this is awkward. [laughs nervously]

Sam is an engineer and he leads worship.

He was having a hard time finding someone to dance with.

Oh, maybe you should dance with him.

Now you kids have a great time!

["Long Live" by for KING & COUNTRY plays]

Um... I will.

Let's go!

[Sam] Lord set my feet upon the path of dancing.

[Rachel giggles]

[Alex clears throat] Wow. Uh okay.

Um... About... that... bar...

[Jess] Boom.

That was the moment I fell completely in love with you.

[Alex laughs]

Mmmm

[Jess] For three seconds.

Eww. Is that champagne?

- Yeah. It's wedding season. - God help us.

♪ Long live the young at heart ♪

♪ You know who you are ♪

♪ With your spirit burning ♪

♪ take a risk and take a chance ♪

♪ Carry on... ♪

[inaudible over music]

[inaudible over music]

♪ Don't be afraid to dream ♪

♪ While the world's still turning ♪

♪ Every moment make it happen ♪

♪ With two left feet ♪

♪ Keep on dancing ♪

♪ Beat by beat ♪

♪ Breath by breath ♪

♪ Walking hand in hand ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Long live the young at heart ♪

♪ You know who you are ♪

♪ With your spirit burning ♪

♪ Take a risk and take a chance ♪

♪ Carry on ♪

♪ Long live the soul set free... ♪

[inaudible over music]

[inaudible over music]

♪ While the world's still turning ♪

♪ Every moment make it happen ♪

♪ With two left feet ♪

♪ Keep on... ♪

[inaudible]

[music lowers as Alex shouts]

[awkward silence]

[music continues quietly]

[resuming energetically] ♪ With your spirit burning ♪

♪ Take a risk and take a chance ♪

♪ Carry on ♪

♪ Long live the soul set free ♪

♪ Don't be afraid to dream ♪

♪ While the world's still turning ♪

♪ Every moment make it happen ♪

♪ With two left feet ♪

♪ Keep on dancing ♪

[inaudible]

♪ Every moment make it happen ♪

♪ With two left feet ♪

♪ Keep on dancing ♪

♪ Beat by beat ♪

♪ Breath by breath ♪

♪ Walking hand in hand ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Beat by beat ♪

♪ Breath by breath ♪

♪ Walking hand in hand ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

[conversation and laughter]

Oh, you guys.

I cannot believe that we are the last single people at church.

Solidarity.

[imitating explosion]

Heart shape.

What is that?

That's ridiculous.

[laughs]

Thank God it's over.

But seriously, couldn't have done it without you guys.

Oh. We got you babe.

And next stop, Christmas Mission.

Yeah if anyone goes.

What are you talking about?

So far I've heard:

We have so much work to get done on our new house!

Oh, I expect to be pregnant by then.

Why would I go? I already found a husband.

[laughs]

Wait are you serious?

Well... then it's just you, me and Alex.

Mary, Joseph, and an angel. Simple.

Yeah.

Simple.

Yeah...

Yeah!

Maybe we can do an extra week. Really do some good.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I like that.

Wait, which part am I again?

Oh. I got you.

This time...

You get the little baby wings.

Give me them wings.

Give me those wings.

[laughing]

[door opens]

Ah, there you are.

Sam's looking for you Rachel.

Oh.

Be right back.

Be good!

Yes sir, Accountabilibuddy.

[giggles]

Jess, I don't think you can find someone hiding out in here.

That's the plan.

Well I'm sure your mother

would have loved for you to find someone.

Really?

All right. Be an old maid.

[exasperated sigh]

That is so unfair of him!

Yeah.

Yeah. Totally.

[Jess sighs]

["More Than I Do Now" by Rachel Summers plays outside storeroom]

Ladies and gentlemen...

welcome to the Awkward Wedding Advice Awards.

It has been a tough and trying season

with lots of low-lights.

I'm Alex Miller

with my co-host Jessica Roberts

here to present the nominees.

And the first nominee is

Pastor Terrence Roberts.

I love you so much right now.

You have no idea.

[Jess] I did not say that!

[Alex] You absolutely did.

First "I love you," right there. Count it.

Oh, and the next nominee

definitely Dr. Bryant, with the classic:

[Alex as Dr. Bryant] "God has your soulmate all picked out for you."

Totally Hezekiah 17.

You're thinking of Third Crustaceans.

Oh! Ms. Nelson gave me, [imitating]

"Don't worry, dear."

"The Lord will give you the desires of your heart in the right time."

Still waiting on that pony.

Ooh, the best cliché wedding advice is

actually an eight way tie this year with:

[Alex and group] "Relax."

"You'll find someone when you stop looking."

[nervous laugh]

So... never?

[scoffs]

Oh Alex.

You still have me and Rach.

[Rachel shrieks distantly]

Unless that was just her getting crushed to death.

That was not hurt Rachel. That was...

[faint romantic country music]

No.

[Jess sighs]

[country music continues]

Yes!

Yes, of course!

[applause]

[sign shorts out]

[cheers, applause]

[Rachel laughs and squeals]

♪

[aggressive scribbling]

[impact reverberates]

Just because she's getting married she assumes I'm gonna be there.

Well you're the maid of honor. That's how that works.

We could be feeding the homeless.

Rachel is getting married. All right?

Rachel is getting married.

She already moved out of the apartment. I had to find someone on Craigslist.

I'm gonna wake up without a kidney.

Merry Christmas to me.

I hate to break it to you but you're not gonna get murdered

and Rachel isn't dying, just getting married. You'll see her again.

When was the last time you saw Nick and Beth?

Um...

We've never missed a Christmas Mission, Alex.

Not since my mom.

I know what that means to you.

So does Rachel.

["Dance of the Sugar Plumb Fairies" plays]

Okay, whoa!

Will you just leave the floristing to me please?

Thank you.

I'm just gonna do it alone.

Really? You're gonna do Christmas Mission all by yourself?

I'm fine on my own.

[Alex laughs]

Okay, so even if you did figure out

how to feed hundreds of homeless people

and be Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus all at once

what's Christmas without the people you love?

Oh, stop Tom Hanksing.

Your life is not a romantic comedy.

It could be.

But at this point I'm probably just Brendan Fraser.

Don't you dare say that.

I can't even find a girl on an app Jess, alright?

- An app. - Yeah.

What's the app?

The swipey... I'm not gonna tell you because you're just gonna make fun of me.

Let's see!

Oh.

Did you see what Rachel wants us to bring?

The stable?! That's weird.

It's called Cross Paths.

What?

The app. The dating app. Cross Paths.

Yeah. It might be a Bible pun.

Yeah, because love is kinda like Roman torture. Totally get it.

Oh. Blasphemy.

The greatest of these is love.

You know, not all love is romantic.

And if we're quoting Paul, why not

"It's better to be single

because then there's more room to pray and serve and stuff."

Boom!

Hey! Hey.

No tools for you, mmkay?

You drop things.

You know Someone also said

that it's not good for man to be alone.

And I just... I was trying to remember Who said that.

Hmm. It might have been Jesus.

[Alex] Boom!

["Dirt Road Church" by Luke Kelly plays]

[Alex] Wait we weren't supposed to bring the costumes too?

I'd do the maid of honor as Mary.

[they laugh]

Maybe I can return the dress.

Yeah that'd be nice.

It's the next one.

I'm pretty sure it's this one.

Okay. Says the girl who gets lost

every... single... mission trip.

["Dirt Road Church" plays on car stereo]

[Alex sighs]

Don't do it again. Don't tempt fate twice.

- Okay fine. That can be yours. - That's mine.

♪

You know...

maybe love is...

is different than you think.

Agree to disagree.

That just means I win then.

♪ Can I get a hallelujah? ♪

♪ Can I get a hallelujah from the... ♪

[crow squawks]

[muffled music from car]

♪ Dirt road church ♪

♪ Run run run run the engine ♪

♪ To the dirt road church ♪

♪ Can I get an "Amen"? ♪

♪ Dirt road church ♪

[Alex] I'm just glad we got here when we did.

If it'd been any longer I was worried

all my flowers were gonna die.

I am not gonna live this down, am I?

Yeah. Not a chance.

"Why were you guys so late?"

"Jess just got us lost in the wrong century, that's all."

I hate weddings. I hate you!

[Jess] Boom. First I hate you. Count it.

[Alex] That was definitely not the first.

A cynical person might say that you really don't wanna go.

I don't like it but it's not gonna be that bad.

You don't think my dad's gonna

try to set me up this weekend?

No. I mean...

He'd have to set you up for the entire weekend. Right?

Which would be ridiculous.

Yeah... yeah.

Okay.

[Door opens]

[Pastor T] Oh! Jess.

[excited gasp]

This is Loren.

The best man.

The best man.

[Loren] Oh, come on bro.

[Pastor T] Don't be modest.

My daughter's a tough cookie.

So tough. Crack your teeth.

Loren ran a marathon.

Actually it was a half marathon.

The full marathon was last month.

But you know, interval training for the win right?

- Daddy can I talk to you? - Don't be rude baby.

Don't...

be rude!

Okay.

One minute, bro.

[clicks tongue]

- [loud slap] - Oh. Geez.

["On Something" by Kenny Hass plays]

[chair motor whirs]

[neon buzzes]

Uh... hi.

♪ I don't need a drink I don't need a fix ♪

♪ I don't need no drug To make me feel like this... ♪

Oh, sorry. Do you um...

need a... a hand?

I don't know if I'm supposed to--

No... I've just always wanted to ride one of these things.

I'm Danielle, Sam's sister.

Oh, um...

uh... I'm... uh...

Sorry. [laughs nervously]

I'm Alex.

Uh, Rachel's friend.

Slash florist.

Oh! Cool.

Guess which one of those got me here early.

[Danielle laughs]

Um...

♪ It's like I'm on something ♪

How was it?

Oh, it's like a roller coaster.

That doesn't go very fast...

and only has one turn...

and isn't very fun at all.

[they laugh]

- You want to try it? - Yeah, I do.

- I thought you might. - Okay, okay.

♪

All right, so I--

Oh, no seat belt, huh?

- No, this is a ride to the danger zone. - Okay.

[motor whirs]

Ooh!

[laughs nervously]

[Danielle laughs]

You said "Meet Loren" before you said hello.

Just give the guy a chance.

You think I set you up with just anybody?

You're right! He's alive. I'm alive. It's perfect.

Can you just go to the wedding

with a nice young man?

Is that so hard?!

All I want is for you to be happy.

I'm happy!

- [shout echoes] - [crow caws]

[chair motor whirs]

I need a reason you can't go to the wedding with Loren.

Give me one good reason

and I'll let this one go.

Because...

[chair approaches]

["On Something" by Kenny Hass plays]

Because I'm in love with Alex.

Alex and I are...

in love.

- What? - Say who now?

You two?

- Can you believe it? - No!

I don't understand. Are we doing a-- Ow!

It's okay...

... baby.

I was just telling my dad about our love story.

The greatest love story ever told.

Yep.

[Alex] We are super in love.

When did this happen?

- Like right now. - Last week.

Well...

Because love is always happening.

Right? Since the beginning of time, you know? And um...

In the beginning... was the Word--

This whole time?!

Like since we were five.

With Alex?

It's not that crazy. Somebody could love me.

This is crazy!

So crazy. [nervous laugh]

Honestly guys...

I couldn't be happier.

Really?!

♪ It's like I'm on something ♪

♪ You got my head rushing ♪

[inaudible] ♪ Losing control but ♪

♪ I love, I love, I love, I love it ♪

♪ Feel like I'm on fire... ♪

Put 'er there, son.

I think part of me always knew.

Knew what?

These two. Together. Finally.

[shrieks]

[Alex] And you said my life isn't a romantic comedy.

[shrieks and laughs]

[Jess] Yeah...

Definitely didn't think this through.

You two. Together.

At my wedding!

At Christmas!

Hard to believe.

I can't believe we were gonna set you up with Loren.

Rach. You didn't.

I mean, had I known.

You should have told me! Come on.

I'm like the first person you guys should've told.

It's just been such a whirlwind.

Isn't that just love though? It's crazy.

So crazy.

We're using that word a lot.

Oh. Did you guys bring the stable?

So I was thinking we could put my decorations and my colors.

We can use it like an archway to walk under.

Rach it's more of a sacred set... thing.

Not really like a romantic prop.

But it's Christmas.

And I've always wanted a Christmas wedding!

Speaking of which, could it like snow?

But you know, not too much.

Yeah. Definitely. Maybe. It's Colorado so...

[man] where are we even going?

[woman] Just smile Patrick.

They're here.

[man] Is this where the ceremony will take place?

Or do we know?

Hush Patrick. This is our baby girl's wedding!

If she finishes planning it on time.

Mom. Daddy.

I'm so glad you both arrived.

Together. At the same time!

Hi, sweetie.

[Patrick] So where's the boy?

My fiancé, Daddy, is upstairs.

We are so excited to meet your special friend.

Fiancé Mom. Samuel.

Not him.

[Patrick] Now wouldn't we typically meet him before he's your fiancé?

Uh... the timing might have been able to be a little bit better.

[coughs] Christmas Mission.

- Ow! - Hurts, doesn't it?

Look.

We're all here.

Okay, we all love each other. [gasps]

You guys actually love each other!

So we're all gonna get along, okay?

We're gonna have a drama free wedding.

That's our motto. Okay?

Say it with me.

[All] Drama free wedding.

[unhinged laughter]

It's gonna be beautiful Rach.

Well it better be. Am I right?

[forced laughter]

[inhales deeply]

Let's get you to your rooms.

[quickly] This way!

[Rachel] Come on, Daddy.

So best friend...

Awkward question.

Do you want to casually pretend to be my boyfriend for the weekend?

You could have asked me that before you promised your dad grandchildren

and Rach a drama free wedding.

And... no.

I-- I don't.

Hey you two. Just heard the news.

Super stoked.

Thanks bro!

[exhales]

I always knew you'd ruin my life.

Come on. One wedding we just dance and have fun.

No one reminds you you're single and no one tries to find me a husband.

What do we do after we lie to our entire church for a weekend?

We break up. You snore,

you laugh like a goat,

and you put the toothpaste straight in your mouth like a complete monster.

Ah-hah! I don't snore.

- [door opens] - I don't like him!

You barely even talked to him Daddy!

We are so happy for you sweetie.

He's too nice!

I don't trust anyone that nice.

[Rachel sighs]

Drama free wedding?

Have I ever said no to you?

[giggles] Thank you!

Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

Okay okay okay okay okay.

But!

If we're gonna do this...

we're gonna go full rom-com.

Oh no.

Oh yes. Yes!

Oh I have so many ideas.

Come on. Come come come.

["Love Was Meant For Us" by Kenny Hass plays]

Okay. Okay okay. First thing.

We need like...

a million... like couple-y type pictures.

Yeah, yeah.

♪ We go out for coffee ♪

♪ at two in the morning ♪

♪ Don't tell me that we're just friends... ♪

We could really fast track this thing.

I wrote Jess's wedding sermon 20 years ago.

We have to run across the field towards each other but in slow motion.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Sometimes this is the way that it goes ♪

♪ But oh... ♪

[Alex] Something with like...

note cards at the door and...

and then a boom box. Yeah!

[Jess snores softly]

When you guys getting married?

Oh we're taking it slow .

Probably not for another week?

Jess is a ring size five.

But I'm sure you knew that.

- Wait. How do you know that? - Mmm-hmm!

And I've always kinda wanted to do a moonlight serenade.

♪ I've known it since we met... ♪

No. No!

♪ I know love was meant for us ♪

♪

Be cool, Soda Pop.

Hey babe. Come over and play.

Come get yer whippin'.

Ah! I found it.

[pool balls clatter]

Where's Rach?

[clears throat]

Honoring her father and her mother.

You know that it may go well with me

and they may not kill me.

They'll come around.

I'm not so sure.

You know I have heard quite a lot about you two tonight.

[sarcastically] We're trending.

How long you been together?

Just tell the whole story guys. 'Cause everyone's dying to hear it.

[Jess swallows]

Yes...

The story.

Hey idiots!

Before you practice stupid romantic stuff

focus on some logistics!

Yeah babe.

Tell 'em the whole story.

Mmmm.

You tell it so much better than I do...

Pumpkin.

[mischievous classical music]

Okay. So...

Jess cooked me lunch the day she left for Guatemala.

[Pastor T] Jess cooked?

Yeah, yeah. And we were just talking about

what she's gonna do down there and everything.

And then all of a sudden she's like

"Do you think guys and girls

can be friends?"

And I didn't know what to say you know?

- -Because I always... kinda... - [klaxon]

had a crush on her.

[Kristin] That's when you found out!

No! Actually... um...

because... well you know, I mean...

friendship can be like a fragile thing.

But honesty brings people together.

Can we go back to the part where Jess cooks?

- It was a salad. But but... - Ah!

But really, so

I was about to pour my heart out, okay?

And then all of a sudden BZZT! Her phone.

And she's like,

"It's my Uber."

[tense strings]

And then...

I see on the table...

[mouth full] You didn't!

[suspenseful chimes]

Guys I did. I read it.

What did it say?

[ethereal choir]

It said she...

only thought of me as a friend.

No!

So I just left.

This sounds... really... familiar.

Ah-ah-ah. No it doesn't, actually.

This is our original story.

And any similarities

to any other romantic story?

Purely coincidental.

There is nothing new under the sun.

Can we please keep going with the story?

I am dying to hear what happens.

Dude. Obviously they get together.

Love never fails.

Yes obviously they get together. But how?

Jess...

figured out what happened.

[Jess] And then that's when I realized

that I do love him. [laughs nervously]

But!

She had to go to the airport.

Okay, longest story ever.

Yeah seriously.

[Alex] And just as she's about to get on the plane...

[romantic orchestral music]

[Alex as Jess] What are you doing here?

[as Humphrey Bogart] Looking for you.

I've always been looking for you.

[as Jess] Well, I'm right in front of you, idiot!

[orchestra swells dramatically]

That's how it happened.

Guys. That's the best story ever!

[Jess] And you came up with it so quickly.

What's the best story ever?

Jess and Alex were telling the story how they got together.

[politely] Oh.

Guys. I can't even.

And honestly?

I don't want to.

There's a time for everything.

[clinks mug with spoon]

[whispers] Kiss!

Oh.

Mmmm.

We can't!

Uh... not until we are...married!

Hardcore!

That's impossible.

But what about your story? The passionate kiss at the airport?

Yes. Exactly!

I mean it was so... passionate.

So... electric!

We knew we could never control ourselves...

And that was our last

until our wedding night.

I am so proud of you kids.

Oh. I have you guys rooming together.

That's not gonna work.

- I mean it's not-- - Nope.

[Alex swallows]

Foosball?

Hey roomie!

I hear you're kind of a matchmaker.

Teach me your ways?

Honestly?

I have no idea.

Well... Alex seems like a really stand up guy, so...

you're lucky.

[ventilation rattles]

Cozy.

Oh we'll get to know each other real well.

[Alex swallows]

[guitar strumming]

[Sam hums, composing a melody]

[humming and guitar picking continue]

[Rachel sighs]

♪

[Sam sings softly] ♪ Be your fightin' soldier. ♪

♪ Walk through any fire... ♪

♪ see that smile... ♪

♪ face of an angel. ♪

Bedtime for my Christmas angel?

Yes, please.

'Kay.

I love you guys.

- Love you. - Night.

Sweet dreams.

Thank you.

Good night.

[Pastor T] Alex.

Need a little daddy daughter time.

Discuss a few things.

Yeah. Sure, Pastor T.

Um...

Goodnight, I guess.

Come closer, baby.

[gentle piano]

Baby I know I'm not the best to talk to about... boys.

[scoffs] Dad I'm not twelve.

I don't need to talk about boys.

I do know a little bit about

being in love with your best friend.

Me and your mama, we--

Were best friends for two years before you got the courage to ask her out.

[chuckles]

I told you about that?

I like when you talk about her.

Even if I've heard it a million times.

♪

What is it you love about Alex?

♪

Just that he's...

still around.

Yeah.

When you were kids

he wouldn't leave you alone.

[they laugh]

Remember he would bring extra valentines and put 'em in my shoe box?

Pffft!

Your teacher called saying you wasn't sharing.

Right!

My fault.

[both laugh]

[Jess sighs] Alex.

♪

I'm glad you found him.

♪

Me too.

♪

I love you baby.

♪

I love you.

♪

[frustrated scream]

I can't believe these aren't ready! This was supposed to be so easy.

Okay. Okay. No worries.

Suffering. Perseverance. Character. Hope.

But seriously, did Pinterest come with instructions?

[scoffs] Oh little brother.

You have never pinned anything in your life have you?

Okay. Rach? Rach.

Rach! Okay, just look at me.

Flowers are my job anyway, okay? So just...

hand those over... slowly. Okay.

I'm so sorry guys.

I don't know how we could have thrown this wedding together without you.

Maybe you shouldn't have thrown together a wedding at all.

Good morning Daddy.

Everything red.

Why is everything red?

[Sam] It's Rachel's favorite color.

Also Christmas.

Bingo. And Samuel's favorite color is green.

Still doesn't mean they know each other.

Patrick, please.

They've only known each other for six months.

You want to see a real couple ready for marriage? Those two.

They've been friends for 22 years.

This isn't really about us, it's--

Yeah, it's not about quantity.

It's about quality.

And Samuel and I know way more about each other than Alex and Jess do.

Oh-ho-ho! Gauntlet thrown.

Oh-em-gee. So much fun.

[Jess] What's fun?

That game where you ask questions about your significant other!

You're confused about what fun means.

- No I'm not. - I don't think this is the--

Hah! This'll be rich.

[podium thunks]

All right, so...

Taylor-Summers wedding party.

Are you ready to rumble?

[whoops and cheers]

- He's really living his best life.

First question.

What is your significant other's...

greatest fear?

[suspenseful game show music]

[Loren] Jess?

Oh! Peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth.

[music crescendos]

I wouldn't be able to breathe. Seriously.

That's really weird, man.

And what is Jess's greatest fear?

The deep ocean.

- Out of respect. - Boom.

And now to the happy couple!

Um... I'm going to guess...

Spiders.

[giggles]

[clears throat]

[music intensifies]

Oh, that was my second guess.

She's just thinking of all the times that she had to kill a spider for me.

He's... scared of them.

And, Samuel?

Uh... easy.

Heights.

Um...

Heights could easily be embarrassing.

Jess and Alex take the first round!

Woooo!

Sorry bro.

[jazzy dance music]

Ow!

[marshmallows thud]

Stop it!

Favorite Christmas tradition?

Cheesy romantic comedies.

Honestly, the thing Jess does the most

is roll her eyes.

♪

Deck the Halls!

Oh.

Life finds a way.

♪

[airplane flyby sound]

♪

[slap]

[bullet ricochets]

♪ Five four three two one . ♪

♪ Whoa! ♪

[funky organ]

[Patrick scoffs]

♪

[music intensifies]

♪

[airplane flyby noises]

[awkward silence]

And it's an avalanche!

[note cards flutter]

Um...

It was fun, guys.

Thanks for playing.

Rachel, honey.

You cannot marry this guy.

Uh...

R-Rach!

[Sam] I got it. I know what to do.

Okay. Yeah. Sure.

H-how about we all go on a hike? Yeah?

Anybody else need some air?

Yeah man! Super psyched! Hike!

[music builds]

[intense rock music]

[outdoor gear jangles]

What is it that you do, Loren?

I experience!

I mean, for work.

Oh, I'm an accountant. Crunching numbers dudes.

[Pastor T] Hold on, Loren!

- Pastor T has arrived everyone. - Get those steps in!

Who's ready to hike this hike, huh?

[music crescendos and ends]

[snowshoes crunching]

You know, you gotta admit

we do know each other pretty well, though.

Not now Alex.

I... uh...

So um... important flatlander question.

Do all Colorado natives have beards?

Good question. Some of the women don't.

- Okay. - [they laugh]

So peanut butter, huh?

Mmmm... Yeah, yeah.

I knew that was gonna come back to haunt me.

Is this based on a childhood trauma

or just a horrifying thought?

It is horrifying, right?

[pretends her mouth is sealed, laughs]

All right, all right.

What's your greatest fear then?

That's rather personal.

Well... You know mine.

That's not your greatest fear.

It's the greatest fear you tell at parties.

Okay.

Well, if I had said

that I'm terrified that...

the version of love I have in my head

doesn't exist in reality...

it'd probably get pretty awkward pretty quick.

That's not awkward.

[gentle acoustic guitar]

I gotta say

I am a sucker for romantic stories

and yours really got me.

There's something so authentic about how you found each other.

Yeah!

Yeah. Story's the best part, right?

Isn't it dating your best friend?

Yeah. Well... [laughs]

Yeah. No, it's that. I just...

It's nice um...

having someone to share everything with.

Right? I would love to have someone to just do life with.

Well I'm-I'm sure...

God has someone for you.

[pained exhale]

That is what everyone says to the single person at the wedding.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I hated it the second it came out my mouth. Ugh, gag me.

You don't get to complain about it anymore.

Oh!

[stifles laughter]

[Alex clears throat]

All right guys! So...

To your left there is a much steeper trail.

However, there is a great view at the top.

Why don't we all stick to the easy trail?

We don't have to stay together.

I'll head to the left if anyone wants to join.

I don't think the pastor should die so I'll take the easier trail.

- Me too. - Me too.

[Loren] Looks like it's just me and you.

Roughing it. Testing our limits in nature.

Sure you don't wanna go with the group?

You're good at getting lost, sweetheart.

Alex. Drop it. I'm fine--

On your own, I know.

[whispers] Hey, hey.

This is not full rom-com. If you get lost, which you will,

I'm upgrading moonlight serenade to moonlight kiss.

Not gonna happen. You're on.

- Fine! Fine. - Fine.

["Christmas With You" by Kenny Hass plays]

[Rachel] Where are we going?

Your new favorite place.

Um... I think we just proved

that you have no idea where that is.

[entry bell rings]

♪ The stockings are hung and the fire ♪

[giggles]

♪ Is painting the room warm gold ♪

♪ The lights on the tree ♪

♪ make the night come alive ♪

♪ But not one of these do what you do ♪

♪

♪ It's only Christmas with you ♪

♪ Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum ♪

♪ Ba-dum Ba-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ The only way this is ♪

♪ that time we call Christmas ♪

♪ Is when we're under the mistletoe... ♪

[Alex] So did you grow up all...

sophisticated and social in this Boston?

Good question, did I?

I did go to Junior Cotillion

where we had balls and dance cards.

What's a dance card?

Uh, you know a dance card?

Nuh-uh.

Okay. You have a slot for each dance at the ball.

And you try to fill them up with all the cutest guys.

And all the girls would like, compare.

Was this like hell?

Or like a hundred years ago? Gross.

This was seventh grade!

I'm sorry-- whoop! [laughs]

Watch out.

There's a trail here. Very dangerous.

Some idiot could really hurt himself.

I'm certainly in trouble then.

♪ It's only Christmas... ♪

Okay. There's a Christmas memory for ya.

Oh wow. Yeah.

See Christmas isn't the same by yourself, you know?

I'm glad Jess is here.

♪ Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum ♪

[contented sigh]

[Loren] So you and Alex...

You guys make a pretty good team huh?

You thinking about getting married soon?

Seriously? The whole point of this

was so people would stop asking questions.

Whole point of what?

You know...

I've built like 12 houses for disaster relief.

Wait, seriously?

That's like the coolest thing I've ever heard.

No one ever asks about that.

Why is it always if I'm dating or who I'm dating?

Even when I go to great lengths to be dating, which is totally real...

then it's always if...

I'm gonna marry that person.

Oh. So you're afraid of commitment.

What?!

No.

I love commitment.

I wish that everyone I knew

would just commit to things never changing

and then... we'd all be happy forever.

That's a wedding.

Okay.

Well that just blew my mind.

Hey wait up!

Uh...

You can't be serious!

Oh come on!

It'll be easy!

It's not even a class five.

I'm adventurous not suicidal.

Are you sure?

I really don't want to leave you.

I'm fine on my own.

Awesome!

[Rachel sighs contentedly]

["O Little Town of Bethlehem" plays in store]

[Nutcracker chomps]

[Rachel giggles]

♪

I think we can fix this.

Oh. Rach.

[mock-serious British accent] Do not put your fiancé to the test.

You're not taking this seriously.

They're not gonna quiz us at the altar.

It's more of a true/false "Do you?" "I do," situation.

Maybe. Or maybe they're right.

Maybe we don't know each other well enough.

So...

what was the name of my first pet?

[laughs nervously]

[snowshoes crunching]

Not lost. Not lost.

[breathes heavily]

[mysterious kalimba music plays]

[positive chime]

Okay.

[rhythmic ticking]

♪

[kalimba continues]

Where'd Alex go?

[suspenseful strings]

♪

[crow calls]

[grunts]

♪

[mischievous piano]

[ticking increases]

[music intensifies]

[gasps]

[Alex urinating]

[whispers] Perfect.

Oop! [grunts]

[ominous low piano]

♪

Hmm

[menacing bass notes]

[taffy machine whirs]

♪

Uh... lemon?

I don't need a stupid game

to know whether I want to be with you.

Do you?

Maybe!

[Sam sighs]

I just want everything to be perfect.

Rach, we're two days away from the best day of our lives

there are a million things left to do

and you're worried about...

guessing my favorite taffy.

Wanna really do something, how about

stand up for me in front of your dad?

[huffs]

♪

[exhales heavily] Loren?

Anyone?! [echos]

I always knew I would die at a wedding.

Ohhh.

[grunts]

Okie dokie.

- [chair thunks] - Have a seat son.

[door creaks shut]

[eerie, dissonant tones]

[Alex] Uh...

Sure, Pastor T.

[ominous drone]

Alex we haven't really had a chance to talk have we?

Oh.

No. I... I guess not.

♪

[exhales pointedly]

I know what's going on with you and Jess.

[swallows]

Oh. Y-you do?

Pretty obvious.

Really?

[laughs nervously]

I kinda thought we did a pretty good job hiding it but--

Think that's something to be proud of?

I know, I know. I just...

What am I supposed to do?

You know, 'cause she's all, "Let's do it!"

And...

I would do anything for her you know? So...

I said yes.

You can't just blame this...

on her, Alex.

You should be taking the lead.

I'm disappointed.

I know it's wrong Pastor T.

Terrance?

[growls]

P-Pastor Roberts?

It just...

it happened so fast.

You start down this road and before you know it--

That's not an excuse.

It's so hard to say no.

I mean, especially when it's something

you've fantasized about for so many years.

Down to the last detail.

Look, you don't need--

I didn't imagine she'd be faking it.

Please stop.

I kinda hoped she wouldn't have to after a while--

After a while?!

How many times have you slept with my daughter?

Wait, none! Wait, what?

I saw her sneaking away from your little rendezvous in the woods.

What? No. I'm sorry.

I'm-I'm so confused and... very scared right now.

I caught you!

With your pants down!

No, I had to pee.

She was there?!

[heartbeat]

[drone crescendos]

[catches breath]

[drone subsides]

Y-you aren't...?

No, no.

[hyperventilates]

Oh wow.

[laughs nervously] No. No.

Not at all. Sir, I promise.

So when I said,

"I know what's going on with you and Jess"

what were you thinking of?

Oh, I--

[door opens]

You went... swimming?

Polar plunge bro. Great for your circulation.

Mmm-hmm.

Wait. Where's Jess?

You mean she's not back yet?

I left her over an hour ago.

She said she'd be cool though.

[door opens and shuts]

I saw you two out there.

I didn't even see her.

I promise.

It's Jess.

She'll be fine on her own.

No.

Not when there are directions involved.

[Jess] Loren?

[gentle piano]

Loren?

Jess!

Jess!

[wistful cello]

Loren?!

Jess!

[grunts and groans]

Jess!

[piano builds]

[more desperately] Loren?!

[Jess's piano theme plays]

Alex!

Alex!

♪

[weakly, giving up] Alex.

[music slows]

[distant voice calling]

[whispered] Oh my gosh...

[somber strings]

[faintly] Jess!

- Jess! - Alex!

Alex!

Alex over here!

Jess! Jess, walk this way!

Which way?!

Do you hear my voice?

Yes!

Walk towards that!

[whispers] Alex.

[orchestra crescendos to Jess's theme]

Hey, hey.

You were not even close to the trail, you know that?

That's what happens when I don't have you around.

But you love being alone.

Alex, I don't want to lose you.

I'm not going anywhere.

And I don't love being alone.

Wait. What was that?

One more time friend.

This isn't an "I told you so" moment Alex.

- What kind of moment... - It's a...

[music builds]

♪

♪

[both laugh]

Okay. It's a lot colder than it looks in the movies.

Yeah. Ya think?

Okay. Come on. This way.

- Can we get hot chocolate? - Yeah.

...they tell you it's gonna freeze?

Well, no.

[quickly] Nothing happened!

Well.

I'm glad you found her.

Me too.

Mmmm

Whoa!

Yeah. Sam really uh...

attacked it.

Yeah.

I think...

I'll give you two responsible kids some privacy.

Uh, you--

Responsible.

[they laugh]

So...

you're the expert.

What do we do now?

- [guitar strums] - I have an idea.

♪

Ah... See...

In my head there was gonna be shooting stars, and...

I was gonna tell you where all the planets are

and the constellations and stuff.

[laughs] Do you even know where all the planets are?

No, but you wouldn't know the difference.

♪

[nervous laughter]

So weird.

Weird... how?

Well...

it's just like...

nothing's changed. You know?

We're just talking like we always do.

Except... you know.

- Right. - [Alex laughs]

♪

I mean you gotta admit we do have a pretty epic story though, right?

Our story.

We were pretending to date... now we're not.

The end.

[laughs] You don't have a single romantic bone in your body.

You know that?

[laughs] That must be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Fine, Mr. Romance.

How would you tell our story?

Mmm.

[whispers] Once upon a time...

[folk guitar plays]

- Two little shepherds... - Mmm-hmm

...met at their church's

first living nativity.

♪

Your mom was Mary.

Your dad was Joseph.

And...

we shared snacks.

[they laugh]

Oh my gosh.

[Jess sighs with amusement]

[acoustic folk guitar continues]

[no audible dialogue]

[music turns wistful]

[no audible dialogue]

[quietly] When you tell it like that

we do have a pretty epic story.

[quietly] Yeah.

I can't wait to tell it.

[quickly] No not now, like...

Later. Like... at our wedding and...

to our kids.

To to our grandkids

or our great--

Whoa, whoa. Easy Tom Hanks.

[Alex scoffs]

Can we just...

enjoy this moment?

Yeah.

I am.

♪

[music slows and concludes]

[loud hammering]

Hey, bud.

[hammering]

How's it going?

It's not done.

She's gonna freak out if she sees it's not done.

Oh, it's all right--

Apparently we went to the Ikea of wedding venues, and now we have to...

construct an entire archway ourselves.

Oh, no. The stable.

This is ours. This Is ours.

This was Rachel's idea.

Yeah, we got this.

No problem. Don't worry about it.

[Sam sighs]

Why don't you give me that?

'Cause everybody's all ready for the rehearsal.

Yeah.

How will I know if I'm ready?

So I take it your talk with Rachel went well, then?

Um...

Where is the archway?

It'll be here.

Okay.

Great.

The gang's all here.

Big day tomorrow.

Who's excited?

Woo! Let's rehearse this rehearsal.

So, Sam, you'll start all the way down at the end.

The nativity stable is gonna be on the stage, right?

Yes! In progress.

Cool...

["Super" by Kenny Hass plays]

Go down there.

♪

Then Kristen walks with Derek.

He is coming, right?

Oh for sure. He just couldn't get the whole weekend off.

Then Danielle walks with Alex

and the maid of honor walks with the best man.

Whoa.

We can't break up the couple the weekend, right?

I mean besides you and Sam.

[Loren] I'll walk with Danielle.

And then Alex could walk with Jess.

And when we get to the altar we'll just switch it up.

Gimme your hand.

No. No, no.

♪

Then if there are no more changes, Patrick...

Would you want your dad to do the ceremony?

How would that work? He's gonna have to walk you down the aisle too.

How soon are you thinking this might be?

Right. Sorry. Not our wedding.

Yet.

Everybody's happy. Everybody's excited.

- Are we? - Super!

- It's going to be beautiful. - Thanks, mom.

I know you want to travel the world and stuff, so I figured like

a year of that and then our first baby.

Probably a girl.

Alex.

Actually Alex, you'll be on this side with Sam.

See, this is why the maid of honor

usually walks with the best man.

Right. Sorry.

It's hard to see without the archway.

- Yeah. - Which will definitely be built tomorrow.

It even doesn't feel like the people in the back can see us.

Your stature is like that of a palm, babe.

A tiny, adorable palm.

Then I'll say some stuff about what this beautiful day means.

Blessings. Happiness. Blah blah blah, et cetera, et cetera.

And then you'll be married. Easy like a Sunday morning.

So easy.

No quizzes or anything.

Wanna run it again?

- Nope. - No. We're good.

[Pastor T] All right, great. See you at the rehearsal dinner.

[Alex] Babe!

♪ I'm super with you ♪

[boiling water]

Hey. Jess.

Hey Sam. What's up?

Um...

This is awkward.

Still?

What?

When my dad tried to set us up

you said, "This is awkward."

And I was making a joke about that.

And now I'm explaining it

which makes it more awkward.

We don't talk much, do we Sam?

I guess not.

But um...

I think Rachel could really use your help.

My help?

Yeah you saw her back there.

[pretending] I sure did.

But what's up?

I just think she needs more than me right now.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted," and all that.

I'll talk to her. I speak fluent Rachel.

Thank you.

Uh...

One more thing.

Sure.

I need to talk to you about what's going on with you and Alex.

What do you mean?

Well...

it was a lot to spring on her this weekend

the two of you. The whole...

dating game thing.

Would it be too much to ask for you and Alex to just fly below the radar?

Just for the next couple days.

Yeah. Sure.

[distant air compressor starts]

[nail gun fires]

[air compressor whirs]

Oh, dear Lord. Alex.

- What's up? - Ooh.

- How about you let me do that? - Oh yeah?

Well, there ain't room in this town for the two of us.

[spaghetti western music]

I'm just kidding babe. It's all you. Hold on.

[nail gun fires]

[projector winding down]

[thud]

[muffled] Alex?

Alex! can you hear me?

[Alex] Oh. Oh.

How long was I out?

Almost a minute.

Oh, a minute?

Oh, just a minute.

The first time.

You came to for a second

then you passed out again for two minutes.

Two minutes?

You woke up again and started crying. It was really sad and loud.

Then you were sorta in and out for a while.

Oh. Oh.

[eerie sting]

- Oh. - [thud]

Oh please dear God, this is not drama free.

We have to get him to a hospital.

Jess. Should you take him?

Oh. Wha-what happened?

You shot yourself.

- [thud] - Go back to sleep.

[Jazzy "Silent Night" plays in clinic]

Oh uh, take it easy.

Oh. Where's Jess?

Um... she had to help with the archway.

She's not here?

Stuck with me.

No I--

[knocking]

How are you feeling?

Oh, yeah.

I'll wait outside.

No. You don't have...

Aw. Got a nice girlfriend there.

What? Oh no.

She's not my girlfriend.

[heart races]

Are you sure about that?

Um...

I mean, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Well...

good news is you've missed the bone.

These stitches will hold. We'll get you on some painkillers

and some crutches, and you'll be good to go.

Oh, okay. Great. Yeah.

You should take her to the top of the Empire State Building.

What?

Girls love that.

We're...

We're in Colorado.

I'm just saying.

Right but...

I... I don't get how that makes sense.

Well love doesn't have to make sense.

It's romantic.

[scoffs] I don't want her

at the top of the Empire State Building.

I just want someone who will actually be here.

Hmm. Well I can't help you there.

But I can get you a prescription

and tell your not girlfriend

that you're good to go.

I'm so tired of "not girlfriends" this weekend.

Oh, is there more than one?

You have no idea.

♪

["Silent Night" saxophone solo]

[nail gun fires]

How's Alex?

I don't know, he's not back yet.

You didn't go with him?

Someone has to finish this stable, and that someone is me.

[nail gun fires loudly]

Yeah this thing's been through a lot.

I'm surprised it still holds up.

You think I should've gone with Alex.

I didn't say that.

But you're thinking it.

Jess, you are doing something you love to do.

Something you're good at.

You're helping to make your friend's wedding a special day.

Alex is probably upset.

It's just he wants to do everything together.

Specifically get married and have babies.

Is that what you want?

[scoffs] Now?

Now you ask me if that's what I want?

It's the only thing everyone's been telling me to want.

- Baby, I just want you to be-- - Happy.

I know.

I really mean that.

It's just...

it's real now.

Somehow... I fell into this actual relationship.

Why is it real now as opposed to before?

[car pulls up outside]

That must be Alex.

I'm gonna see if he's okay.

Avoidance.

Wonder where you get that from?

Not me.

Oh!

I'll uh... leave you two.

How you feeling?

Don't.

[wistful piano]

You shot yourself.

Can you just for like a second...

treat me like you did when we were pretending?

Okay. You shot yourself, pumpkin.

You know what I mean.

Is it too much to ask for you to go to the hospital with your... boyfriend?

No relationship is gonna be like when we were pretending.

That's why we were pretending.

So we didn't have to be in an actual relationship.

Speak for yourself.

I actually wanted to be with you.

Me. As am right now. You wanna be with that person

or the person you're pretending was the perfect girlfriend?

I'm not stupid.

Okay, I know it's not gonna be perfect, but...

I do at least need someone who can actually be with me.

I'm not a romantic like you. I have my own things I wanna do.

Oh believe me I know.

That's why I thought this could work. Because you know me.

That's not a good enough reason for me.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Yeah, the lying. Obviously Jess.

No, I mean, making it real.

♪

Maybe we should just go back to being friends.

Keep things as they were?

I don't know if I can do that.

Alex please don't say that.

I cannot lose you. Why do you think I did all of this?

Because you love me?

♪

Of course I love you.

Like Rachel loves Sam?

♪

Right.

So...

Back to the way things were.

Hey, hey.

Thank you.

You honestly have no idea how much your friendship means to me.

Yeah.

♪

Oh.

Yeah... we're gonna have to keep pretending though. Just...

for the rest of the weekend.

I'm gonna go take some more painkillers.

Okay.

[forlorn orchestral strings]

♪

Your stable turned wedding arch is all finished.

Thanks.

Sam doesn't even really know what it is.

[deep strings]

You look like that thing's gonna eat you.

It's my perfect dress.

For my disaster of a wedding.

Hey.

Hey, it's not a disaster at all.

A few minor hiccups.

Hmm

My dad hates Samuel,

and Samuel wants me to defend him,

and nothing is ready.

♪

What if everybody's right?

What if we're rushing into this?

What everyone thinks

is that you two are perfect together.

No.

What everybody thinks is you and Alex are perfect together.

Samuel and I are a mess.

I mean, I'm a mess.

And for whatever reason

he doesn't seem to think that's a big, fat red flag.

Maybe because he knows you better than that.

I think we proved that that's...

just not true.

He knows well enough to take you stress shopping to a Christmas store.

And call your accountabilibuddy.

'Cause you're being a crazy person.

[Rachel sighs]

Come out here.

Nuh-uh.

Come on.

- No. - Yes.

[Rachel sighs]

You can do it. [Jess strains]

The people are out there.

[low conversation]

What is he saying right now?

[imitates Sam] "Bro. Rachel is such a bridezilla."

"You have to get me out of this dude."

Come on Rach.

You're not gonna win any game shows

but you know him.

What's he saying?

He's saying...

"Yeah, it's been a little crazy..."

[heartwarming guitar]

But he's like, "It's okay."

"Because I choose her. Every time."

♪

"And I'm so excited to marry that girl."

♪

Shall we?

Okay.

[giggling and conversation]

♪

[gentle guitar picking]

Yep, that seems about right.

Ah!

- [thud] - Oh.

You gotta work on those reflexes man.

It was a marshmallow.

How many times do I have to tell you?

Fire is like the most dangerous element on Earth.

You're not wrong I guess.

Thank you.

Come on.

Ooh.

I'm here to help.

Thanks. Yeah.

Man.

I love weddings.

I am sooo sorry.

[chair scrapes loudly]

Wow. Okay.

You're a pretty good shot.

[they laugh]

Someone should probably teach you

how to make a s'more the right way.

Ugh. Clearly.

So here in Colorado

we have this trick for um...

roasting marshmallows properly.

Please, show me your ways.

Y-you're probably gonna think it's gross.

Try me?

Yeah?

[light piano]

Um, okay so...

first you have to get it all gross and slobbery, okay?

[mumbles]

Gross.

[they laugh]

But...

["Me [When I'm With You]" by Madison Henderson plays]

♪ Somebody once told me that you ♪

♪ Can't color outside of the lines... ♪

Yeah.

Perfect.

Do you want... Er, yeah,

Um...

I will let you do your own because

that is gross.

♪ You saved me, didn't erase me... ♪

Where's your girlfriend?

Oh, um...

She's around.

When do you... go back to Boston?

Day after tomorrow.

That's one way to do it.

[spoon clinking glass]

[awkward silence]

I guess that I'm supposed to say a few words tonight.

Which is honestly better than tomorrow.

[Patrick] I'll just make this short and sweet.

I swear, you kids and your wedding festivities.

You know your mother and I, we just went to the courthouse.

Then again, we've been divorced for 12 years.

Which is a lot longer than we were married. Hah!

[Rachel] Daddy.

Anyway.

Rachel knows I love her.

Yeah

And Samuel knows I don't like him one bit.

Daddy.

Hey, you wanted me to talk. This is me being honest, okay?

Maybe you'll think twice about asking me to speak at your next wedding.

Which is certainly bound to happen.

I'm sure it'll be beautiful.

Okay. That's enough.

This man sitting next to me.

He chooses me every day.

And, yeah.

Maybe we have a lot more to get to know about each other.

But the one thing I do know

is that he's the one person that I don't want to live without.

Samuel...

maybe we didn't meet each other in kindergarten...

but I am so happy that I met you when I did

and I am so excited to spend the rest of our lives

getting to know every single tiny little detail about each other.

[gentle folk]

Sam...

I choose you.

Every time.

So you're just...

you're gonna have to get used to it Daddy.

Oh.

And thank you to my amazing maid of honor

who had the courage to be honest with me

when I was being a crazy person.

Thanks, Jess.

[sighs]

You know

[stable creaks]

when these two first met

I saw them fall in looove .

[laughter]

And if I wasn't so busy being afraid to lose Rachel

I would have been so excited

to see that you've found such a wonderful man.

In fact

I was so caught up in all the weddings and

my dad trying to set me up that...

we did something kind of crazy.

[stable creaks]

Uh, Jess?

No, Alex I think everyone should know.

- [creaks] - Jess seriously.

You all thought that we were the perfect couple.

The truth is...

we're a terrible couple.

We weren't even together when we got here.

We made it all up so I wouldn't have to get set up again.

- What? - I knew it!

- Oh, Jessica. - Are you serious?

- [loud creaking] - Guys!

[shouting and shrieking]

You lied to everyone at my wedding?!

I know it's crazy and it's stupid

and I'm sorry that it caused some trouble!

Some trouble? Some trouble, Jess?!

But the point is that you two are the real couple

and that's what really matters.

That's it. That's it!

It's okay! It's okay.

Yeah, it's gonna be okay because Jess is leaving.

Alex, you can stay. I know this wasn't your idea!

I'm sorry! But if you hadn't set me up with Loren.

Oh, do not make excuses!

I want you gone by the wedding!

Perfect! The night before my wedding and it's still all about Jess!

Bro!

[Kristin] Rachel!

Okay. Rachel I'm coming! It's all gonna work out.

[Jess struggles]

Yeah. A little heads up might have been nice.

Alex. Come on, I didn't mean to.

You know what?

Nope.

I'm done.

With you. With us. With this.

All of it.

Pretend or real or whatever.

I'm out.

I'm sorry!

Don't!

I'm sorry I dragged you into this and I'm sorry we don't make a good couple.

[somber strings]

Whenever you need someone

I'm there.

When you wanted to lie to our entire church

I'm there.

And then when I hurt my leg, you're gone.

And when you come clean you do it in the middle of the rehearsal dinner?

I wanted to fix everything! I thought that's what Rachel would want!

Stop trying to fix everything Jess!

You can't! all right?

You can't fix it and you can't control it.

People get married. Get over it.

Hey, we are in this together!

No.

Not anymore.

But you're still my best friend.

I'm sorry, maybe I wasn't clear.

We're not friends anymore.

Now just...

just stay there.

I want to storm off, but I gotta...

I gotta do it really slowly.

[sniffs]

[melancholy piano]

[muffled crash]

♪

Danielle! Wait, wait.

I can't talk to you right now.

Wait. No, I thought that-- Oh!

I thought that this would make more sense now.

You thought things would make more sense now?

Yeah, I...

- [chair motor] - Look, I'm sorry.

All right? I wanted to tell you. I did.

I thought that maybe there was something here.

[chair stops]

Am I wrong?

I don't know.

Apparently the whole thing was a lie, so...

[chair restarts]

Danielle, I didn't expect to meet anyone like you.

Okay, I didn't.

I'm sorry.

[chair stops]

Leave me alone. Please.

[chair restarts]

If you're not gonna eat those, I will.

I know what you're gonna say.

I messed up, but you love me.

I'm forgiven.

I've heard the speech a thousand times.

[sniffs]

Do you need it?

I know it by heart.

Forgiveness and grace.

Yeah, but...

["Shadow Side" by Josh Calhoun plays]

Do you need it?

♪

Daddy I'm sorry I lied to you.

[sniffs]

♪

Everything is such a mess.

I lost Alex. I ruined Rachel's wedding.

Baby...

I decided a long time ago

that you are forgiven for anything you ever did.

And anyone who loves you would do the same.

♪

Now...

I never imagined you'd cook up some

harebrained scheme of dating Alex.

[they laugh]

And I can't believe that you actually did it.

Daddy, it's not funny.

No.

It really is not.

I just...

felt like I was losing everybody.

♪

Baby if you really love those people.

You gotta let 'em go and live their lives.

♪

So do I.

♪

Your mother was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I so wanted that for you.

But I realize that not everyone is called to marriage.

♪

Baby, I'm so sorry I didn't listen to what you wanted.

♪

Well...

let me tell you about forgiveness and grace.

[they laugh]

I love you so much.

That's a good thing 'cause uh...

I thought I was gonna have to kill you.

♪ There is more to me ♪ ♪ Than my shadow side ♪

Oh.

♪

[sighs]

Everything is still a mess though.

Do you love him?

♪

Maybe we deal with Rachel first.

I'll hold her, you hit her.

[laughs] Daddy, that's not what I meant.

Why you hittin' me?

"Honor thy mother and father..."

Okay, okay.

"...so that thy days may be long."

[nail gun fires]

[nail gun fires]

I told you to leave.

I know.

I will.

But I wanna tell you something first.

What?

That I'm being a crazy person?

No.

It's just that...

I'm really happy for you.

I never said that.

Everything was changing and it made me a little...

a lot crazy.

So...

From one crazy person to another...

I'm sorry.

And I'm gonna leave once I finish this.

What is it?

Uh...

it's a...

bride vertical assistance platform... thing.

[laughs] A stage?

Yeah. A stage.

[they laugh]

Honestly Jess?

I really just missed you.

I really missed you too.

I'm gonna miss us being single together.

But... I know this is what you want.

Do you really think we're good together?

The man is a guitar playing mechanical engineer

who writes songs about grace

while building fires.

Marry him!

You forgot crazy hot.

And you know what happens after wedding day...

- Yeah. - [they laugh]

Okay...

So...

you and Alex...

Was that really just pretend?

Look. This is the night before your wedding.

I don't wanna make this about me.

All right, so there was a story

and you're going to tell me.

All of it.

He may have kissed me after saving me in the woods.

I knew it!

Go on.

You know I'm really bad at directions?

Yeah. Like the worst.

Like the worst. Exactly. So...

["Just Another House" by Keller Rae plays]

♪ Right between ♪

♪ Where the wind met the pines ♪

♪ We built that home up ♪

♪ From the ground ♪

♪ Between four walls ♪

♪ I had no doubt ♪

♪ What I'd always wanted ♪

♪ I had found ♪

♪ But now it's just a house ♪

♪ When I walk through the door ♪

♪ There's no dancing ♪

♪ On that kitchen floor ♪

♪ The silence gets so loud ♪

♪ In my head I play pretend ♪

♪ And we're nailing ♪

♪ Pictures to the walls again, yeah ♪

♪ Ever since you moved out ♪

♪ It's just another house ♪

♪ Just another house... ♪

♪

Rachel.

Rachel.

You're getting married today.

You're getting married today.

- You are getting married today! - [Rachel screams]

I'm getting married today!

Come on, get up, get up, get up.

- You're getting married. - I'm getting married!

[they giggle]

Oh my gosh.

[Sam] Ugh. Rachel, I'm so sorry.

No.

It'll be fine.

Sweetheart, I don't think anyone's gonna make it.

No. It's perfect.

Dear God, my daughter has lost her mind.

I mean it.

Today I get to start the rest of my life

with the man of my dreams.

Nothing else matters, right?

We can have the wedding in here.

Just us.

It'll be perfect.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a wedding.

And... it'll be drama free this time?

Right?

- Did we miss it?! - Hey!

[Rachel screams]

[excited chatter]

I can't believe we made it...

[acoustic guitar]

♪

[Sam sings] ♪ I can still see you ♪

♪ In that pink dress ♪

♪ That rainy day summer ♪

♪ When we first met ♪

♪ Man that starlight ♪

♪ There in your eyes ♪

♪ It was heaven ♪

♪

[guitar continues, present in scene]

♪ I'm still flyin' high ♪

♪ From our first kiss ♪

♪ It was right then and there ♪

♪ I knew I'd give you ♪

♪ My whole life ♪

♪ For worse or ♪

♪ For better ♪

[Sam's playing slows and stops]

♪ Somehow with just those famous ♪

♪ Three little words ♪

♪ You heard my heart say ♪

♪ You'd be my whole world ♪

♪ I'll be your desperado ♪

♪ I'll be your fightin' soldier ♪

♪ Walk through any fire ♪

♪ Just to see that smile ♪

♪ On the face of an angel ♪

♪ Call me a desperate old soul ♪

♪ Maybe that's true but I know ♪

♪ I'd move heaven and hell ♪

♪ Yeah I'd break outta jail ♪

♪ To be your cryin' shoulder ♪

♪ I'll be your desperado ♪

[Pastor T clears throat]

So we all know the story.

God said,

"It is not good for man to be alone."

"But rather a man will leave his father and mother

and be united with his wife."

You know, since that first

husband and wife,

none of us have been perfect.

And that means that none of us are perfect for each other.

But God loves us anyway.

Regardless of our sinful fallen nature,

God chooses to see us

in the perfect white wedding clothes that Jesus died to win for us.

Whiter than that snow out there.

Perhaps a little less blizzardy.

[laughter]

And that's how you two

should choose to see each other.

Every day.

Forgiven.

Loved.

Dressed in white.

So Samuel...

[laughter]

...there's really only one question.

Do you choose to love Rachel,

to support her,

to cherish her,

to protect her,

and seek a life of faith together,

till death do you part?

I do.

And do you, Rachel

choose to love Samuel,

to support him,

to cherish him,

to protect him,

and to seek a life of faith with him together,

till death do you part?

I do.

Well, that's great news.

[Sam singing] ♪ Somehow with just those famous ♪

♪ Two little words ♪

[guitar]

♪ You heard my heart say ♪

♪ You'll be my whole world ♪

[together] ♪ I'll be your desperado ♪

♪ I'll be your fightin' soldier ♪

♪ Walk through any fire ♪

♪ Just to see that smile ♪

♪ On the face of an angel ♪

♪ Call me a desperate old soul ♪

♪ Maybe that's true but I know... ♪

I can see why you want it.

♪ I'd move heaven and hell ♪

♪ Yeah I'd break outta jail ♪

♪ To be your cryin' shoulder ♪

♪ I'll be your desperado ♪

Can I please just talk to you?

I just...

can't.

♪ Life flies by and it feels like hell ♪

♪ But the dreams we had ♪

♪ may fade as well ♪

♪ Sometimes that old flame ♪

♪ Feels like a snowy day ♪

♪ In December ♪

♪ And just like that ♪

♪ You do that thing you do ♪

♪

♪ I'm right back to moving mountains ♪

♪ Just to prove ♪

♪ I'll be your desperado ♪

♪

♪ I can still see you ♪

♪ In that white dress ♪

♪ That fairy tale Christmas ♪

♪ When we were blessed ♪

[soft knocking]

[music plays faintly]

♪ Like seeing sun ♪

♪ In the middle of a rainstorm ♪

♪ Or the miracle ♪

♪ You never asked for ♪

[music gets louder]

♪ But needed all along ♪

♪ Makes no sense to me ♪

♪ How I could see you... ♪

Not exactly how I pictured a

romantic gesture like that going for me.

- [music stops] - Well, consider it my apology.

To you.

Look, I hate being single at weddings

just as much as the rest of us but...

Wow.

You guys...

You really went for it!

I'm a natural problem solver.

Did this solve your problems?

No.

Actually... created quite a few.

Especially for you.

I'm not really looking to get mixed up in this anymore.

I'm sorry that we lied to you.

I'm sorry that I complicated things

with you and Alex.

There's nothing with me and Alex.

You looked like there was some kind of connection.

He really likes you.

He's not the kind of guy I go for.

He's an incredible guy.

He's been my best friend for--

22 years.

Yeah I know.

Everyone knows.

There's internet memes about it at this point

because he's such a good guy.

I spent half the weekend terrified I was gonna lose him.

Lose him?

Yeah. After Rachel he's...

my last single friend.

I get it.

Just a friend?

Such a loyal friend that

when I asked him to lie to everyone

and pretend to be my boyfriend...

he did.

It really does sound insane when you say it out loud.

A guy like that

a guy that would do all that for me...

The world just wouldn't be right

if he didn't get what he wanted.

So...

maybe...

you could just...

give him a chance?

[Danielle sighs]

Maybe like a tiny chance.

Or like... a teensy weensy chance?

I'll think about it.

Thanks.

He's uh...

down by the mill.

Casually.

Right now?

Mmm-hmm.

Go.

["Better That Way" by Kenny Hass plays]

[plaintive piano]

♪ There are words too few ♪

♪ To describe the view ♪

♪ From where I am ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Isn't quite enough ♪

♪ But I have to say... ♪

I uh...

I...

I got your note.

Oh.

There was a note. Wow.

Jess was thorough.

Jess?

She set up this whole thing.

Wha-- [laughs]

Okay.

That does explain the note card then.

It wasn't quite right, but...

Okay.

She really did that?

Yeah. And literally stood

outside my window with a boombox.

She went full rom-com.

Wow.

Ah, that's amazing.

Yeah.

She's a good friend.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She is.

[as Alex] Such a good friend she'll understand

if I abandon her forever to be with you.

[Jess] I was hoping you'd

move to Boston with me immediately.

[Jess] Let's get married.

And have 11 babies.

[Jess] I thought you'd never ask.

♪ ...Meeting harmony ♪

♪ Oh, love's the song we sing ♪

♪ When words fail ♪

♪ When the meaning's not precise ♪

♪ When love is indescribable ♪

♪ It's better that way ♪

♪

[shovel scraping]

["Good Day" by Alyssa Jordan plays]

[laughter, inaudible dialogue]

♪ You ♪

♪ You tell me we'll make it ♪

♪ through anything... ♪

- What's up dude? - Hey!

So how's married life?

Oh, are you kidding? We passed out.

Weddings are a lot of work.

[Loren] For sure.

We made it. [Rachel giggles]

♪ You tell me there's hope for tomorrow ♪

Hey guys?

I'd like to say something if that's okay.

Um, Jess?

Could you join me up here?

Please?

♪ A good day ♪

[Alex sighs, clears his throat]

So I uh...

didn't really get a chance to give a formal apology

for my behavior this weekend.

Dude. It's cool. Can we just eat?

[laughter]

Okay, okay.

Well the thing is

uh... this girl

can be incredibly persuasive.

And...

I know it's hard

seeing friends...

get new best friends.

But...

not everything has to change

you know?

You have been my best friend my whole life.

And even though we did something

kind of crazy...

[ethereal piano]

You also did the most

unselfish thing last night.

What did she do?

She Say Anything -ed me.

You what?

I'm so confused.

And even after everything

that happened this weekend

I really can't imagine my life

without you.

[gentle piano and strings]

So...

♪

Jessica Roberts...

will you...

[gasps]

...be my friend?

[sighs with relief]

[they laugh]

Even if I fall in love with that girl over there.

Even if you travel the world

doing mission work.

Okay. Weirdest first date ever.

[music crescendos to Jess and Alex theme]

And I'll be your friend

even if you fall in love

with some missionary.

♪

Or not.

♪

I don't know where our story will take us.

But I do know that no matter what, we'll be friends.

♪

Because that's what we do.

[music builds]

[deep whoosh]

If you still want to.

Yes!

Obviously!

[music ends with soft piano]

Okay, good. 'Cause I do kind of have

a pretty big crush

on that girl right there.

[Alex laughs]

[hoots and cheers]

♪ 'Cause there's nothing like seeing ♪

♪ That smile you missed ♪

♪ The feeling you get... ♪

All right. That's enough you two.

♪ When you're with the ones you love ♪

♪ Mmm hmm mmm ♪

♪ Yeah, there's nothing like the joy When you realize ♪

♪ That you're looking at forever When you look in their eyes ♪

♪ And no matter what ♪

♪ Mmm hmm mmm ♪

♪ It's gonna be all right now, yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause you're not alone ♪

[electric guitar solo]

♪

♪ 'Cause there's nothing like seeing ♪

♪ That smile you missed ♪

♪ The feeling you get in your heart ♪

♪ When you're with the ones you love ♪

♪ Mmm hmm mmm ♪

♪ Yeah, there's nothing like the joy When you realize ♪

♪ That you're looking at forever When you look in their eyes ♪

♪ And no matter what ♪

♪ Oh, no matter what, no matter what ♪

♪ It's gonna be all right now ♪

♪ all right ♪

♪ It's gonna be all right now ♪

♪ It's gonna be all right now

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Mmm hmm mmm ♪

♪ 'Cause you're not alone ♪ ♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ Gonna fly, gonna fly, gonna fly now ♪ ♪ Oh, glory ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ No you're not alone ♪

["Desperado" by Ben Calhoun, performed by Kenny Hass]

[piano]

♪ Yeah I can still see you In that sundress ♪

♪ That fairy tale summer When we first met ♪

♪ Man that starlight ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ It was heaven ♪

♪ And I'm still flying high From the taste of your lips ♪

♪ It was right then and there That I knew I would give you ♪

♪ My whole life for worse or for better ♪

♪ And somehow with just those ♪

♪ Famous three little words ♪

♪ You heard my heart say ♪

♪ You'll be my whole world ♪

♪ And I'll be your desperado ♪

♪ I'll be your fighting soldier ♪

♪ I would walk through fire Just to see that smile ♪

♪ On the face of an angel ♪

♪ Call me a desperate old soul ♪

♪ Maybe that's true but I know ♪

♪ I'd move heaven and hell Yeah I'd break outta jail ♪

♪ To be your cryin' shoulder ♪

♪ I'll be your desperado ♪

♪

♪ Your desperado ♪

♪ Mmmm ♪

♪ ♪

♪