All language subtitles for Nowhere Man - S01E20 - Through a Lens Darkly

My name is Thomas
Vail, or at least it was.

I'm a photographer. I had it all. A
wife, Allison, friends, a career.

And in one moment, it was all taken away.

All because of a single photograph.

I have it.

They want it.

And they will do
anything to get the negative.

I'm keeping this diary as
proof that these events are real.

I know they are.

They have to be.

There are six billion
people on the planet today.

Some say that makes
individual lives more inconsequential,

more desperate than ever before.

Not because of the numbers
themselves, but because of the anonymity.

They say it's what
makes us cling to those few

precious memories that make us who we are,

or at least who we think we are.

It's why a single photograph can
have such importance and power.

Why the act of just holding it
can validate an entire existence.

That's why I needed to
know that it was still there.

Computer 509 departing
track 5 now boarding.

Locker B63.

Despite the mundane setting,

it's supposed to be some kind of blind
drop for those people who oppose me.

Used only in cases of the utmost
emergency. I know, it's another long shot.

But then my life has been
reduced to a series of long shots.

Get in the car.

You want to tell me
what this is all about?

Nothing to tell, really. We're just
a couple of delivery boys. Oh, okay.

How about telling me where we're going?

Just a little trip, friend. A
little trip down memory lane.

You need to settle down! Yeah!

All right, sleeping beauty,
this is where you get off.

It's up to you now. I
can't force you inside.

It's gotta be your choice.

My choice?

The alternative,
however, is not a pretty thing.

Go on.

Make yourself at home.

Anybody here? Come on, is there
a reason for locking me in here?

I didn't think you were
ever going to find me.

Laura? Tom, you're not playing the
game the way it's supposed to be played.

Well, you're not playing
fair. You said you couldn't

hide in your own room. I'm not hiding.

I'm sitting in plain sight.

Why don't we play a game you want to play?

Come on, Tom.

I'll play any game you want.

And I'll play by your rules.

Promise?

Wait a minute.

Aren't you gonna tell me the name
of the game? It's called Adventure.

You climb out the window with
me. We go to my secret fort.

You can't tell anybody where it is.

And you have to do exactly what I say.

But... You're too
chicken to play, aren't you?

No, I'm not.

I just want to know the rules of the game.

There are no rules. That's
the best part of the game.

You know you're the only
person who's ever been in here?

But you gotta promise to never tell
anybody where this place is. I promise.

Your promise is too easy. I don't
know if I can trust you to leave.

Well, what if we took an oath?

A blood oath?

Well, if that's what
you think we should do.

Now we're bonded for life.

Have you ever seen the view from out here?

Tom?

Tom, what are you doing out there?

Come back, Tom.

Tom, come back here.

Jeez, Laura, you should see this view.

I mean, you could see the
whole world. A view isn't

worth getting killed
for, Tom. Yeah, it is.

Watch this!

Tom, please, be careful!

Look, no hands!

Dear Tom, I can't believe it's been
almost a year since we've seen each other.

I know a lot's changed for
both of us, college and all,

but I still think
about you as much as ever.

I've enclosed a copy of my train schedule.

Please call me if there's a
problem, or even if there's not.

Love always, Laura.

New Orleans Express will be delayed 25
minutes. Will be delayed 25 minutes.

I didn't think you were gonna be here.

What are you talking about?

You didn't call after my letter.

I thought you said to call
only if there's a problem.

It's so good to see you.

Well, it's not much, but my
roommates won't be back until Sunday.

I think it's wonderful.

I have a present for you.

I didn't know if I would get to
see you at Christmas or not, so...

Well, you shouldn't have. I
don't have a present for you.

You're my present.

Come on, open it.

It's used, but the guy at the camera
store said it's in terrific shape.

Do you like it?

Yeah, I love it, but I like it. I mean,
this is the best camera in the world.

That's what the man at the store said.

But how did you even... It's so
you can follow your dreams, Tom.

So you can stay on top of the world.

I can't take it.

Tom, it's a present.

I want you to have it no matter what.

You don't understand.

You have another girl, don't you?

It's OK, Tom.

I'm not going to hold you to some blood
oath we took when we were 10 years old.

Laura, I want you to hold me to it.

You do?

Yeah.

My feelings for you,
even when you're not here

and I start thinking
about you, I feel like...

Like my heart's going to explode.

I feel like my heart's going to explode
right now just standing here next to you.

I feel the same way.

I'll be right back.

It's getting painful, isn't it?

Remembering all this.

Especially when you know
the worst is yet to come.

What have you done to me?

Oh, yes, it must be a strange
sensation to be fully conscious

and yet not able to
move your arms and legs.

Some people experience
that when they sleep,

that they're going to die from
some kind of self-inflicted asphyxia.

It must be absolutely horrifying.

Oh, don't worry.

The effect only lasts
for about 20 minutes.

Just enough time for us
to have a little chat.

That's only glass, Tom.

Just reflections of
things you've already seen.

Ready arms!

Let me help you Tom.

Let me take the pain away.

Who are you?

A friend, if you want me to
be. I don't have any friends.

I can change that.

I can change everything and
still leave you with enough of

your precious identity intact
so that you'll feel complete.

You can't change what's already happened.

You can't bring back the dead.

But I can't help you forget
what happened with Laura,

what's happened with
everything in your life since then.

Your relentless pursuit of the truth, no
matter what the cost. My God, the cost.

You don't know anything about the
cost. I know that it's been painful.

Let me free you from that pain.

Let me free you from
everything that's happened.

You'll be able to go and live a normal
life. What's your definition of normal?

Very good.

I can see why they like you so much.
Spare me the crap. You work for them.

I do work for them.

But once upon a time...

I was in a situation
very similar to yours.

So the sooner you realize that
we have something in common,

then the sooner all of this can end.

And what is this elusive
thing that you and I both want?

Isn't it what all men want?

An escape from the dark
side of our consciousness.

Sophocles probably said it best when he
simply called it memory without pain.

If you let me give you
that, then we'll both have it.

Did you find my contact?

No, sorry, I was just... Zoning out.

You know, if you lost your contact,
the entire world would come to a stop.

Except that I don't wear contacts.

That's not the point.

You probably fell through
one of the mile-wide cracks

in our beautiful painted hardwood floors.

I thought you liked hardwood floors.

I like hardwood floors
when the boards aren't warped

and the seams don't have
gaping holes between them.

Laura, if you don't like the
apartment, we can find another one.

It's not the apartment, Tom.

It's this whole city.

I had no idea Belfast would be like this.

Well, what did you think
it was going to be like?

London.

Oh, honey.

You know, London can be pretty
dreary this time of year, too.

Yes, I know it can.

But half of London isn't bombed out.

I just don't want to be
around while you photograph

the other half of
Belfast being bombed out.

Well, it's been like this since the
Second World War. I mean, it's...

The way it looks has more to do
with the Germans than the IRA.

I'm not talking about the
architecture of the damn city, Tom.

I'm talking about our lives.

Or the lives I thought we would have.

I'm sorry, this obviously isn't
the best time to discuss this.

Look, if you're unhappy about something,

I'm unhappy about your work, Tom.

The assignments you get
are more and more dangerous.

And the pictures you take... The
pictures you take are so powerful,

I can't even look at them anymore.

That's my job.

Laura, that's...

Finding truth in horror,
that's what I'm all about.

That's what my photographs are all about.

You're still that little boy trying
to stay on top of the world, Tom.

Hoping to find some greater truth.

Some greater truth that
simply doesn't exist.

Look at what our lives have
been these last few years.

All the award-winning
photographs, and still nothing changes.

There's always another war to
cover, always another tragedy.

You used to have a lot
more faith in me than this.

You're right.

I guess I just wanna have
some faith in us for a change.

I'm gonna take a walk.

I'm not gonna stray into
any dangerous neighborhoods.

I just want a chance to clear my head.

Oh, I look like an old
school mom wearing these things.

Beautiful in wearing anything.

You can't stay here!

She was getting ready to
leave you, wasn't she?

I said she was getting ready to leave you.

No.

Yes, she was.

I've seen enough I
don't want to see anymore.

It's not about seeing, Tom.

It's about understanding.

About recognizing the destructive
patterns in one's own behavior.

It must be excruciatingly painful
remembering all those last little moments.

How do you know all this?
Well, that's the trick, isn't it?

How confusing the
beams from memory's lamp.

What's the secret of the trick?

How did I get old so quick?

I've seen enough. Make it stop.

I said, I've seen enough. Make it stop.

Give me the negatives.

What is it you're so afraid of?

Why are you doing this to me?

Answer me.

I'm doing it because it's my job.

There's no greater truth. There is
always a greater truth. Not this time, Tom.

I'm sorry. Believe me,
I wish it were true.

In some ways, I'm not
much different than you.

I'm just a pawn whose job is
to break down other pawns.

Why me?

Why go to all this
trouble? You're a test case.

That's why they're
pulling out all the tricks.

They want to see how
much an operative can take.

I am not one of their
operatives. Aren't you?

No, you seem awfully sure about yourself.

Well, I don't work for them, you do. So
why don't you tell me about Hidden Agenda?

It's not my department.

So what is your department?

Memories, dreams, reflections.

You see, I was very good at this sort of
thing before I ever went to work for them.

The leading authority in my field.

So why this particular memory?

How could you possibly know?

That's my special gift.

Knowing.

I use refracted light to trigger
off an advanced hypnotic state.

With these tools, I'm able
to root out the most painful,

the most deeply guarded secrets.

That's why at one time they wanted
me almost as badly as they want you.

Why not give them what they want, Tom?

Believe me, it's not so bad.

It's not who I am.

Oh.

You want to remain who you are?

All right, then look in the mirror.

That's who you are, Tom.

Go ahead, look.

No.

You know you can't stop what's
already happened from happening again.

You want to be who you are so badly.

You want to see how it's already cost
you the one great love of your life?

Go ahead.

Look.

No! I am not going to lose her again!

I'll leave your papers and all
the phone numbers in the lockbox.

Are you listening to me? No.

You sure you have to leave tomorrow?

Yes, I'm sure. Please, Tom, don't make
this more difficult than it already is.

I'm not making it difficult. I'd
just like to be here when you leave.

Let's just stick to the plan
that we already have, okay?

I'll call you as soon as I get
back to the apartment in Chicago.

You know, I would be lying if I
didn't... I don't want you to leave, Laura.

We're leaving at
approximately the same time.

Yeah, I'll be back in two days.

And then you'll leave again.

And again, and all the while,

I'm supposed to wait in some
hotel or a summer lease apartment,

praying that nothing happens to you,

praying for your safe
return so that I can go through

the same agonizing process all over again.

It doesn't have to be that way. I
mean, we can make some real changes.

When?

When you get back from taking
photos of some IRA bomb factory... Tom,

we've been through this before.

Please. I don't want to fight. Not now.

Here you go.

Come with me to the
airport. Just see my flight off.

I can't, Tom.

I have my own ticket to pick up.

Go. You'll miss your flight. I
will talk when I get back to Chicago.

I love you.

I love you, too. You know that.

Go ahead, Tom.

Try to stop it from
happening all over again.

That's it right there.
What's going on up there?

Probably a roadblock.

Must have got a tip about another bomb.

Don't you worry, we'll make
a flight with time to spare.

I want you to take me back.

Sweet mother of mercy. Keep going. What
are you talking about? I'm a photographer.

I don't care if you're the Virgin
herself. I'm not going down that street.

Hey!

I'm gonna put you on the back!

You can't stay here!

Go, go, go!

I don't know.

It didn't have to happen, did it?

No.

And if you could change that one
moment, you would, wouldn't you?

Yes.

Then change the future, Tom.

Take responsibility for your actions.

I just, I should never have left her.

No. You shouldn't have.

But you had to have
your pictures, didn't you?

You had to have your
great pursuit of the truth.

It's good. Good. You see that now.

You've suffered enough now, Tom.

You've learned your lesson.

Don't drag it out any longer.

You see, if you don't cooperate...

I don't want to see anymore.

Then give me the negatives.

See, we're talking about a picture, Tom.

Another worthless picture that in
the end doesn't change anything.

Doesn't have one iota of the
importance Laura had for you.

I don't have them here.

Are they nearby?

Yes.

We're right there.

Go ahead, pick it up.

It won't bite you.

That's amazing, isn't it?

A one little hunk of metal can come
between you and your entire life.

Why do you want me to have this?

Because I want you to
understand it for what it is.

It doesn't have any magical powers, Tom.

It's not any recorder of any great truths.

And you of all people should know
that. I was just a shitter, Buck.

What's that?

I was just a shutterbug.

Yes, exactly.

That's exactly what I
want you to understand.

Oh, no, no, don't do that. Tom, no.

It was a short walk.

You okay?

Uh-huh.

Hey, you want me to fix you
a cup of tea or something?

No, I'm fine.

I just... What's the matter?

I just want you to know something.

Okay.

No matter what I said before, no matter
what happens... Hey, listen, nothing,

nothing is going to happen to us.

No, let me finish.

I want you to know that
your pursuit of the truth,

your sometimes relentless pursuit of the
truth, even though I hate it sometimes,

I think it's the noblest quality you have.

It's the reason I love you so much.

Where were you?

Tom?

Tom?

You saw something, didn't you?

What did you see?

What did you see?

I saw the truth.

No.

I want you to know that
your pursuit of the truth,

I think it's the noblest quality you
have. It's the reason I love you so much.