Original subtitles

Experts predict that within five years,

a rocket carrying a man will land on the moon.

The project will cost millions of dollars.

Before you go shipping men off to another planet,

make sure we have enough right here on Earth.

Of course not. And why send a man to the moon when a man with

millions of dollars could be much more fun on a honeymoon?

Don't we?

She met him in a bowling alley.

Romantic.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Oh, her father and mother did meet him?

Well, that's all right then.

Well, I don't know why people are like that. Sometimes they're so silly.

Uh-huh.

Well, after all, a person has to protect themselves.

You just can't go around expecting everyone to take care of you.

I know exactly what I want to do this weekend.

Nothing.

She did. How about Loco?

She's never tired. The last time she took a sleeping pill,

she kept it awake all night.

What did he do when her parents objected?

Elope to Connecticut?

How romantic.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry you have to hang up.

It certainly has been nice talking to you.

Bye-bye. Who's that?

I don't know.

What do you mean? Wrong number.

But she was so interesting, I just couldn't hang up.

When you dial a wrong number and get local, it's not

as if you've lost a dime. You've gained a friend.

I feel that way.

Loco, please.

All righty. Oh, hello, Mr. Cameron.

Good evening, Loco.

Good evening. Sorry.

Is Mike at home?

Oh, yes, she is. Won't you come in?

Thank you.

Mike, it's your boss.

How are things on Wall Street, Mr. Cameron?

Why, they're just fine, loco.

I'm so glad to hear that.

Good evening, Mr. Cameron.

Oh, Mike, forgive me for dropping in without calling,

but your line was busy for the longest time.

That was loco. She simply can't be impolite to a wrong number.

Mike, the reason I came here was... Hello, Mr. Calvary.

Won't you sit down?

Mike, something's come up.

I have to find three beautiful girls for the weekend.

Does Mrs. Cameron know about this?

It's her idea. You see, our golf club, the Glenmere Country Club,

is having its annual tournament.

That's the charity affair you've been working on.

Exactly, and when I found out we needed three more caddies,

my wife thought of you immediately.

How nice, but I don't know the first thing about golf.

It doesn't matter. The girls bring picnic lunches,

and the golfers bid for their services.

I've never done it before, but it sounds like fun.

There's nothing to it. You just walk around the golf course,

and every once in a while, you look for a lost ball.

Mr. Cameron.

Did you say walk?

Yes, that's all.

Make believe I'm a golf ball. You just lost me.

Thank you so much for thinking of us, but I'm afraid we just couldn't.

Oh, why not?

Well, we're just exhausted, and we were planning to

spend the weekend recuperating. Oh, I'm not tired.

I think I could...

I should stay here and take care of them.

I'd love to help your charity, but in this condition, I'd just be a drag.

Well, naturally, you know best what you're able to do.

But we still need three girls.

What about Marjorie Thompson and bookkeeping?

Yes, yes, of course. Would you get her on the phone, please?

Some of the wealthiest and most eligible young

men in town are members of the Glenmere.

In fact, this tournament has been humorously nicknamed the Marriage Sweepstakes.

Marriage Sweepstakes?

Of course, it was just a coincidence, but last year,

four golfers married their caddies.

But as I said, it was just a coincidence.

They probably would have met somewhere else.

She isn't home.

Mr. Cameron, we've been terribly selfish. We'll be glad to help.

No, it's all right. You're tired, and I can understand that you don't be.

Well, if people can't help each other, what good are they?

I wanted to do it from the very beginning.

That's a lot of walking, you know.

Oh. Well, walking relaxes me. It is for charity.

And charity begins at home, right here with us.

All right, I have a bid for $2,800. $2,800!

Do I hear any more?

Going once, going twice?

Sold to Mr. Edmondson for $2,800.

Mike, I'm so excited. What's happening?

Egg salad sandwiches and that snooty redhead just went for $2,800. Oh,

I wonder how much my lunch will be worth. Hey, come here. It's okay.

Get a load of this. What is it? Well, the name on all

these trophies is the same. Harry Davenport Jr.

Wow, he won all of them.

He's probably happily married with eight children. Darn it,

there's always something.

Well, anyone for the...

How do we...?

No, but hurry. I think we're next. Okay.

Sweetheart, we've been over this again and again.

Mr. Harry Davenport, I'm not married to you, and already I'm a golf widow.

Cindy, you know how important this is to me.

Obviously, it's more important than I am.

I'm sorry about last night, but if I qualify this afternoon,

I play Charlie Albright for the championship.

I'm sick and tired of playing second fiddle to a golf course.

Our engagement is over.

You can find somebody else to wear this.

Well, I just may do that.

I saw him! I saw him! Who? Harry Davenport.

It's a living doll.

Where?

Out in the corridor.

He was having a fight with his girlfriend,

and she gave him back his engagement ring.

It had a diamond on it this big. No kidding. Uh-huh.

And the nice thing about diamonds is you can't tell a new one from a used one.

Well, Mike, we're ready for you.

Fellow slaves, let us face the auction block bravely.

They like our lunches, and they don't even know what's inside yet.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, may I present

Mike McCall, Loco Jones, and Gwen Kirby.

They're too pretty to be split up. They should be auctioned off as a package.

All right, then, all right. All right, ladies and gentlemen,

what am I offered for all three?

$1,000? I hear $1,000 for the club's welfare fund.

Wow, $4,000. There should be more. After all, there are three of us.

$4,000 is bid by Mr. Harry Davenport.

Did you have a name, Harry Davenport?

Which one is it? Can you see? Yeah, yeah, second row from the left on the rear.

That's Mrs. Cameron.

Really local. I wish you'd wear your glasses.

6,000 is big by Harry Davenport.

Seven? $10,000 from Harry Davenport.

Do I hear any more, gentlemen?

10,000 once?

10,000 twice?

Sold to Harry Davenport for $10,000. Congratulations, Harry. Good boy.

Girls, I want you to meet Harry Davenport. Harry, this is Mike, Loco, and Gwen.

How do you do?

You're Harry Davenport?

For the last 78 years.

But I didn't know he... He looked like... What's the matter?

Oh, well, look, I thought you were someone else.

I'm always being taken for my son, Junior.

You have a son?

He's playing with us today.

Where is he, anyway? Oh, there he is, talking to Charlie Albright. Oh, Junior!

Well, lots of luck, pal. Well, thanks, Charlie.

I'm gonna need it if I'm gonna be in the finals with you tomorrow.

Now, don't try too hard. Remember, you almost beat me last year.

Fair enough.

Well, well, well.

Can I pick them, or can I pick them?

I'm Mike McCall.

Hello, Mike.

And these are my roommates, Gwen Kirby and Loco Jones.

Oh, Gwen, Loco.

He's cute.

I wish I could be his caddy all the time.

Wish I were ten years younger.

Well, um, let's have some lunch, shall we? Good.

We'll have... Oh, no, wait a minute, wait a minute.

We won't have time. We'll tee off in 20 minutes.

Why don't we grab some sandwiches off the table and take them with us?

This is going to be fun. I'm not tired now. Neither am I. Loco.

Did you ever see a dream like Harry Davenport?

And did you see the way he looked at you, Mike? Wow,

even I tingled. Oh, come on now.

You practically got me married to him, and all I did was say hello.

Just about every marriage in this world started with somebody saying hello.

Besides, you'll have 18 holes of golf to get to know each other.

And that's more than some people have in a whole lifetime.

Do you realize we don't know the first thing about golf?

Well, we'll probably make fools of ourselves. Yeah,

I guess we'd better watch the others and see what they do. Hi,

I'm Lucinda Chandler. Maybe I can help you.

Would you? We've never caddied before. Any little tips you could give us,

we'd be so grateful. I'd be delighted.

Well, there isn't much time. What are we supposed to do?

Oh, well, the first thing a good caddy does is keep the balls nice and clean.

Keep golf balls clean. How do I do that? Well, there's a ball washer on every tee.

Oh, good.

Now, you know that a golfer needs encouragement.

So each caddie is entitled to two yippies.

What's a yippie?

You know when the golfer gets all lined up to hit the ball? You shout, yippie!

Then he'll know that you're on his side.

What else are we supposed to do?

Well, now, when you get out on the green, there's people watching you.

We're ready, class. Hi, Mr. Cameron. Hi.

Why don't you see off first, Mr. Francis?

Oh, that's a great shot, Dad. You missed the trap.

Oh, wonderful! Now what do we do? You come with me. Okay.

See you later, girl. Bye-bye.

You mean we don't have to walk?

Of course not.

Oh, I knew there was something about you I liked.

You ever run one of these things before?

No.

Easy to run as a lawnmower.

I never ran a lawnmower.

How about an electric train?

Is it anything like a hair dryer?

Yippee!

Too bad, Harry.

You push this to make it go, and you steer it with this.

Ready?

Did you, uh, happen to see where it went?

In those bushes over there.

Do you often feel like yelling yippy?

Oh, I know the rules. Only twice during a game.

The rules?

When do you intend to yell yippy again?

I couldn't tell you that. It wouldn't be a surprise then.

I see.

Lucky.

Oh, nice, Mr. Davenport.

You're getting better all the time.

Um, please?

I'm sorry.

No, no, it's just a little disconcerting. Um, local,

why don't you wait in the golf mobile, hmm?

Oh, okay.

I just thought you could use some energy. Thank you.

Is there anything you'd like to get off your chest?

Yippee.

You'll never know when I decide to say it.

Did you see a guard go by here with a girl? Yeah, she went that way.

Gee, Mike, I'm sorry about what happened on the

golf course yesterday, but accidents do happen.

Nobody gives them as much help as you do.

Can the police get you for reckless driving on a golf course?

Good morning.

May I come in?

Do you have a summons?

Never mind. Go on.

Good morning.

Morning.

Look, we're terribly sorry about what happened,

but maybe we could pay the damages off a little at the time.

No, wait a minute. You don't understand. I've come to apologize to you.

To us? For what?

Well, Lucinda confessed everything. How she deliberately

tricked you to hurt me. But I won anyway.

You won?

I shot a 68. You brought me good luck.

By leaving early.

I want you to be my guest at the playoff this afternoon.

Me too?

Yes, you too, loco.

And after the match, I wondered if you'd join me for dinner.

Oh, I'd love to. Good.

Well, then, I guess it's all set. I'll have a car waiting for you downstairs.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. I'll see you soon.

Final.

Today. Oh, it says Harry Davenport, J-R-V-S.

I didn't know he had a medical degree.

Loco, that means that he's playing Charlie Albright.

Oh, hey, I've heard of him. He's one of the top golfers of the world.

Harry can't possibly beat him.

And if he loses, he'll be depressed. And when he takes Mike out to dinner,

he'll just sit there and sulk.

There was only some way we could make things difficult for Charlie Allbright. Oh,

I wish there was some way I could help.

So why couldn't... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Of course.

Loco, there is something you can do.

You mean I can help Harry win?

Yeah. How?

By doing everything you can to help Charlie Albright win. Oh!

You know, sometimes you make even less sense than I do. It's practically impossible.

Dr. Albright? Yes?

I'm your caddy.

Say, this tournament's getting better and better all the time.

Look, Charlie, she caddied for us yesterday.

I don't think you're going to be very pleased.

Are you jealous or something? I think she'll make a lovely caddy. Go ahead, tee off.

Now, honey, there's just two clubs left. Which one?

My mother told me to pick this one.

I know.

This one. I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.

You didn't say anything about it in your book.

Keep the grip firm.

Give me the number three iron. That's the one with three on it.

Oh, look, I'm sorry I ever wrote it.

Your book says whatever you do, don't get upset and lose your temper.

That was a typographical error.

Score, Davenport, 72. Albright, 94.

That's right, 94.

You did it, Loco. You're a genius.

Well, I did help Charlie win.

He got 94, and Harry only got 72. Have it your way.

All I did was tell him what he wrote in his own book.

I think it was your delivery.

Well, Harry Davenport is all yours. The coast is clear. Come on.

We'll wait for you outside, Luca. Okay.

Lucinda?

I'm sorry. All right, now, what's wrong?

Everything's wrong.

I didn't realize how much he meant to me.

Lucinda, I... It's not your fault.

I got what I deserved.

After all, I broke the engagement.

I returned his ring.

He's not the only man in the world. It's what I've been telling myself.

Only it's not true.

He's the only man in the world for me.

Ever since we were kids, we were always sure

we were going to be married to each other.

Does he... I mean, did he love you?

Mm-hmm.

So he loves golf, too.

What's wrong with that?

I didn't want to be part of this tournament.

You know what?

I'm jealous of a game.

Lucinda.

Gwen, what are we gonna do about it?

He's taking you to dinner tonight, isn't he?

Oh, I couldn't go through with that now. I'm gonna break the date.

Oh, you are not. Come on, we've got lots to do. Hurry up, loco!

Now, when he gets here, you tell him you thought

it would be more fun to have dinner at home.

Gee, I wish we lived like this all the time. Go on, now.

You know what you have to do. All right.

But if you ask me, I still think he'd rather take her out to dinner.

How about some music? Something to put him in the mood, like Ravel's Bolero?

That might be rushing things. No, a little Sinatra before dinner goes a long way.

That's him. Good luck, honey, and don't be nervous.

Evening.

Oh, lovely. Won't you come in?

I thought it would be more romantic.

Yes, yes it is.

No, no thanks.

Cocktail?

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

We'll have the champagne with dinner.

By the way, congratulations. You must feel very proud about winning.

Oh, yes, and no.

What's the matter, Harry?

Oh, a victory can be awfully hollow without someone to share it with.

That's true.

Wait here. I want to see if everything's all right. Yeah.

Hello, Harry.

Cinda, what are you doing here?

Having dinner with you.

But I... The girls planned it this way.

Lucinda, you know where everything is, so we'll be on our way.

We hope you have a wonderful time. How did you know?

I mean, this is... Oh, just call it female intuition.

Yeah, at times she's positively psychiatric. That's psychic. Come on,

we're going out to dinner with your father. Yes,

he said it's the first time he's ever taken his caddies to dinner.

Good.

Bye.

It isn't if you win or lose. It's how you played the game.

If there's anything I can't stand, it's a good loser.