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MITCHELL: Like many leaders of the free world,
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I've learned that battling forces
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of evil can wreak havoc with your budget.
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Unlike countries that can float loans
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or issue bonds to cover their debts,
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I have to depend on my allowance.
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After asking my dad for one advance too many,
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he enrolled me in Eerie's Junior Executive's Club,
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for an education in economic realities.
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So far, I've learned how to dress like a dork.
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MR. STEPFORD: Image is everything.
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Before leaving the house, the young,
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junior executive,
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carefully checks, double checks,
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his image.
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Mr. Stepford, now that we're in...
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Remember, you are all petals,
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of the future...
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flower, that is business.
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RODNEY: Yeah, right.
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Mr. Covington.
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I take it that you
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do not see yourself,
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as the flowering of the entrepreneurial,
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spirit, am I correct? No.
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I just don't think the world needs more people
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with wrinkly shiny shoes.
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Mr. Stepford...
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What are you doing here, Rodney?
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My parents...
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won't let me ride my motorbike unless I come.
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Your parents would like you
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to have some kind of a goal.
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I already have a goal in life.
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To ride your motorcycle around the world,
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not exactly a sterling ambition.
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Mr. Stepford, I have this product...
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Memo me, Mr. Hope. Memo me.
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Meeting at the Eerie junior executive's club,
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is terminated for today.
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Except for you, Mr. Covington.
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You and I are going to have a little chat.
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You and I are going to talk,
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about your bright,
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and shining, future.
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MITCHELL: I didn't know it then.
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but Rodney's immediate future wasn't as bright
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as Mr. Stepford had promised.
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MITCHELL: I do solemnly swear
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that everything I am about to tell you is true.
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A spill of weirdness from another dimension
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turned my hometown into the center of weirdness
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for the entire universe.
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Don't believe me? Just watch.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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All I am saying is I think Stepford is a real whackadoo.
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Mitchell, it's easy for a junior executive
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to get his corporate leaders
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big picture thinking messed up with whackadoo-ness.
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Where did you get that from?
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The JE business primer.
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It was under unquestioning loyalty.
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See, that's what I mean,
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JE is all about stuff like...
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whose name goes first on the memo.
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I really admire Rodney for standing up to him though.
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He won't have to go to anymore meetings.
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You are both missing the point, compadre.
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Success belongs to the long term player.
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Maybe that's why Mr. Stepford is taking such a long time
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on my marketing scheme. "Marketing scheme"?
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I'm launching a whole new line of fridge magnets.
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Which unlike your ordinary fridge magnets,
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are shaped like...
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magnets.
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Got a whole box of them down at the community hall.
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Stanley, there can't really be a lot of money...
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in magnets.
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You talking about money, Hope?
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Because it... it appears we didn't collect any lunch money
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from you today. Ah, Newt...
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I don't have any lunch money.
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Everybody's got lunch money.
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Newt, lunch was four hours ago.
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Stanley spent his lunch money.
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He has? Yeah.
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If you want to steal a kid's lunch money,
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you have to do it when he is going to school.
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Not from it. Didn't anybody tell you that?
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That's lesson 12.
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Steal a kid's lunch money when he is going to school.
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Not from it.
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How about taking it outside, huh, Newt?
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Your sanctioned street gang
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with the, store bully font like you're horning it on their turf.
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Next time... catch me earlier.
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Hey, pick on somebody your own size.
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Wha! [SCREAMS]
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You're...
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You're about my size, Taylor.
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I meant by weight.
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You got a scale?
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Come on! Ee!
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You...
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could exemplify everything that this club stands for.
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Selfless dedication.
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Punctuality.
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Neatness.
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Why, is this all that you care about?
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It's what you should be caring about.
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Well, I am not interested.
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And if I had upset you, I am sorry.
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If that upsets my parents, I am sorry.
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But I got to be me.
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Rodney.
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This conversation is not over.
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Good morning, Mom. Good morning, Dad.
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Carrie, weren't you a little late getting in last night?
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Sorry, Tommy had car trouble.
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"Car trouble"?
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Yeah, when he dropped me off he noticed this
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hook hanging from the door handle.
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Hmm.
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Make sure he has it checked before you go out again.
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Okay.
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MITCHELL: Good morning, everybody.
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ALL: Good morning, Mitchell.
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Isn't that the same shirt you wore yesterday?
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Still clean.
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That's not the point.
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You wear fresh clothes everyday.
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It's a sign of self esteem.
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I thought it was a sign you liked to do laundry.
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Did you get all your homework done?
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Most of it. Oh, Dad, I need my allowance early this week.
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What have we decided about these...
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allowance advances.
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I know, but I need to buy a Philadelphia experiment kit.
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I thought you already had one.
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Well, I did, but it disappeared.
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Are you learning anything at JE?
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Will you give me my allowance if I wear a tie?
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Well, that would be a start.
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I was hoping maybe you had a plan
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for generating some capital of your own.
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I've got these treasure maps
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that belong to a headless pirate.
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[DOORBELL RINGS] I'll get it.
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Probably Stanley. See if he wants breakfast.
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Hello, Mitchell.
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I am collecting for my charity of the day,
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Victims of Hostile Takeovers.
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Care to contribute?
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Mom, Dad, Carrie.
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This is Rodney Covington.
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He is in JE with me.
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Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor.
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My, my, what a lovely home you have.
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Carrie.
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No offense to your brother, but you have been blessed
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with the looks in the family.
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Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, I am not sure whether Mitchell
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informed you, but the club collects for the charity.
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We do?
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Mitchell, why don't you go change your shirt?
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You do want to be like the other kids.
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Rodney, do you manage to do your homework every night?
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Of course, sir.
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A junior Executive always completes the task required,
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within the time frame required.
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My sentiments exactly. Hmm.
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Now I am sure that...
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Mitchell would mind contributing his allowance.
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Rodney, is this some kind of joke?
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Being late for school, Mitchell, is no joke.
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It's like being late,
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for your own future.
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Ta-da. [THUNDER RUMBLING]
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MRS. TAYLOR: Oh, it's going to rain.
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It's been very nice to meet all of you.
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Farewell.
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Mitchell.
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He's different.
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We ran into Miss. Lovelace, the French teacher.
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He had a whole conversation with her,
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in French. Hmm.
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Maybe he is practicing for his world tour.
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Hmm.
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One day he is a classic troubled teenager,
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the next, he is explaining
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how an index pension will keep me out of trouble in my twilight years.
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Forget your twilight years,
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you're in trouble now.
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[SNAPS FINGERS]
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Come on, Newt, this is stupid.
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Yeah? We're still gonna do it.
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Get on the scale.
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Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.
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I am sure we can reasonably arbitrate
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a win-win solution here.
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What he means... I know what he means.
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He means I am a lame brain,
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and he is a smarty pants.
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Hmm, close enough.
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[GRUNTS]
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[SCREAMS] Food fight!
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[AMUSING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
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[BELL DINGS]
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[BELL DINGS]
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[BELL DINGS]
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This is place of business!
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[GRUNTS]
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[BELL DINGS]
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Mr. Hope.
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It is time that we discussed your bright,
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and shining future.
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Stanley still isn't picking up.
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Something must've gone wrong.
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Maybe he decided to go into the airmail food business.
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Gotta go check it out.
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Mitchell. Honest to goodness.
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He'd think it was the end of the world.
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[SIGHS] Just might be.
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[DOORBELL RINGING]
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Hello, Mitchell.
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Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, Carrie.
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I am collecting for the broker's restricted
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from insider trading.
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It's the junior executive's charity of the day.
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MITCHELL: People describe business in brutal terms.
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Dog eat dog, killing the competition.
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But I was sure Stanley had become the victim
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of a real life hostile takeover.
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Mr. Crawford, how much do you know about Mr. Stepford?
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Oh, let's see...
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He runs an investment firm.
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Likes to share his knowledge with the youngsters.
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Does he really know anything about business?
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Oh, many successful people have gone through that club of his.
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There's Mayor Carver,
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former vice president,
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and that guy from Seattle with the computers.
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Well, how long has he been running JE?
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Oh, since I was a kid at least.
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How can that be, he doesn't look a day over 40.
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Well, you know what they say, working with kids
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keeps you young. Hmm.
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Stanley, what's this all about?
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Mr. Stepford says we need to collect funds,
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for those fallen in the endless corporate struggle.
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Any of you guys want to tell me what's with the hair?
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A junior executive should always reflect the image
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of his Chief executive.
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And never be late for a meeting.
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Excuse us.
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Stanley.
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I thought you might need some cheering up,
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I got you a present.
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Here. [BUZZING]
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MR. STEPFORD: Boys.
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The junior executive meeting is about to begin.
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Will you be coming, Mr. Taylor?
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Ah, yeah.
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Good.
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MR. STEPFORD: Profits.
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Profits.
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And how do we create these profits?
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We create these profits...
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by bringing more people into the...
270
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:41,901
pyramid. Any questions?
271
00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:46,305
Can I help you?
272
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,776
Mr. Stepford, sir.
273
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,144
Allow me to introduce my parents.
274
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:59,151
Is there something wrong? MR. COVINGTON: Oh, no, sir.
275
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,219
Exactly the opposite.
276
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:01,821
We just like to thank you
277
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,156
for the positive influence you've had on our son.
278
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,925
MR. COVINGTON: Rodney's always been...
279
00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:06,992
a difficult child.
280
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:08,794
But lately, he's been well.
281
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,963
Perfect. We just wanted to thank the man
282
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:13,199
who made our son what he is today.
283
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,034
Well, thank you.
284
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,969
Nothing gives me greater pleasure,
285
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,838
than transforming our youth,
286
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,439
into useful members,
287
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,041
of our society. Thank you.
288
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,813
MRS. COVINGTON: Come home right after your club meeting, dear.
289
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,582
I made your favorite, meat loaf.
290
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:31,016
RODNEY: Of course, mother.
291
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:32,418
MR. COVINGTON: See you then, son.
292
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:35,221
Well...
293
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,492
Profits are our motive.
294
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:41,927
Our motive is profits.
295
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,395
Yes, any questions, yes, Rodney?
296
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:45,397
[BLEATS]
297
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,067
All right, that's it.
298
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,502
Meeting is over.
299
00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:51,137
Go on, go, scoot.
300
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,506
Come on, scram.
301
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,274
Meeting's over. Goodbye.
302
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:29,341
Now there is no reason you should be acting this way.
303
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,081
Mm-hmm.
304
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:47,493
Now, I warned you about these.
305
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:50,429
These disrupt your magnetic flow.
306
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,201
Unbutton your shirt.
307
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,245
Little juice. You'll be just fine.
308
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:07,279
[ELECTRICAL BUZZING]
309
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:16,889
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
310
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:21,227
Your replacements are functioning perfectly.
311
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:24,563
So perfectly, that tonight, I will get rid of the originals.
312
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,633
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
313
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:05,104
Hang in there, Stanley. You too, Rodney. I am going for help.
314
00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:07,439
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
315
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:14,380
Hello, Mitchell.
316
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,481
Uh, hi.
317
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,349
Stanley.
318
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:20,419
You're not supposed to be in here after the meeting.
319
00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:23,122
Oh, well, I was just... waiting for you.
320
00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:24,657
I was gonna walk you home.
321
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:25,991
You are going home?
322
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:28,994
Let me carry this for you.
323
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:30,562
Don't remember bringing that here.
324
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,998
No? It's got your name on it.
325
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,702
Sorry about this.
326
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,137
But I need some help.
327
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,172
Stepford had to know enough about real Stanley
328
00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:41,407
in need to pass for Stanley,
329
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,575
and I just need to find it.
330
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,378
[ELECTRICAL VOICE] Oh, dizzy, dizzy.
331
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:48,681
Gimme your answer, dude.
332
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,716
[IN A DIFFERENT VOICE] Dave, I am scared, Dave.
333
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:52,551
Hell.
334
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:57,523
[STANLEY'S VOICE] Hello, Mitchel, what we do today?
335
00:15:57,556 --> 00:15:58,590
Today...
336
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,192
Okay, that'll have to do.
337
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,528
Today... Okay, I need some help.
338
00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:03,629
Let's go.
339
00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:05,731
"Help." What friends are for.
340
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:07,032
"Help."
341
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:09,201
Me help Eerie. All right, come on.
342
00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:10,736
We got to get through this door.
343
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:12,638
You are made of metal. You know what to do.
344
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:16,775
Door locked.
345
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,444
I know it's locked.
346
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,312
Break it down, kick it in, do something.
347
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:24,483
Here's a key.
348
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:28,721
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
349
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:38,597
Mitchell, you're the best.
350
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:40,065
Okay, now get us out of here.
351
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:41,767
Come on.
352
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:45,571
Get that thing away from me.
353
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:46,672
You've seen it before?
354
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:48,107
"Seen it"? Huh.
355
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,742
I had to watch Stepford make it.
356
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:51,577
He dressed me up.
357
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,746
Gave me this haircut and sent that thing out
358
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:56,281
collecting money so he can do this to somebody else.
359
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:57,750
Guys, get me out of these things.
360
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,720
Look out, look out, look out!
361
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,828
You're the one tried to sabotage Rodney.
362
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,096
That's not Rodney.
363
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:12,731
It will be soon.
364
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,401
And I have a feeling that he is going to have some company.
365
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:20,105
Oh, don't worry.
366
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:21,673
Your parents won't miss you.
367
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,243
They'll be too thrilled,
368
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:25,844
by their perfectly new,
369
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,646
perfectly obedient,
370
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,148
perfectly diligent,
371
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:30,883
perfectly perfect,
372
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:32,551
child.
373
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:33,685
Nobody's perfect.
374
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:34,720
I am.
375
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:39,358
And you will be, as well.
376
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:41,693
No!
377
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:44,430
[SCREAMS]
378
00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:46,565
Pick on somebody your own size!
379
00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:50,135
Yeah! "Pick on somebody your own size."
380
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:51,236
Let him go.
381
00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:52,805
[BUZZING]
382
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:55,707
Stanley.
383
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:56,742
No!
384
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,444
[SCREAMS]
385
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:04,249
Stanley!
386
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,474
Stanley.
387
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,180
STANLEY: Ooh!
388
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,219
Huh, that was way cool.
389
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:44,957
He grabbed the one he built.
390
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,692
I would've told you sooner.
391
00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,460
It's just, he'd have known too.
392
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:51,730
[GRUNTS]
393
00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,632
Do you think you could save it for later,
394
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:55,367
and maybe work on untying me!
395
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:57,603
[SIGHS]
396
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:02,307
Hey, Mitchell, what are we gonna do about him?
397
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:07,913
Oh.
398
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,461
Believe me, this guy is living proof,
399
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,264
or at least a good fat simile that Eerie really is weird.
400
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:26,732
Now people will have to believe us.
401
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:28,534
Oh, yeah, that's if you tell them.
402
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,769
What, are you kidding? Why wouldn't we tell them?
403
00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:32,804
Because then you'd have to explain where I am.
404
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,773
And that might take some explaining.
405
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:36,275
Wait, where you going?
406
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:40,913
Boys, come on, it's my chance to see the world here.
407
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,482
I finally get what I want, my parents finally...
408
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:45,517
get what they want...
409
00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,586
and if I am lucky, I'll probably get back right
410
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,488
when this thing's graduated from college,
411
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:50,756
probably top of it's class.
412
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:52,824
If you ask me,
413
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,660
I got pretty bright and shiny future.
414
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:56,762
See you later, boys.
415
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,399
STANLEY: What are we gonna do?
416
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,569
We'll never get away with this.
417
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,571
Doesn't look like we've got much of a choice.
418
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:06,872
[MOTORCYCLE REVVING]
419
00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:08,907
His parents were pleased with the new version.
420
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,577
MITCHELL: I sometimes wonder if we made the right choice,
421
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:12,811
covering for Rodney,
422
00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:14,012
but he got to live his dreams,
423
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,582
instead of becoming a real junior executive,
424
00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:18,517
And doing nothing more daring than writing
425
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:19,851
an occasional bold memo.
426
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,521
Hey, I am really gonna miss Rodney's goofing around.
427
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,623
He was pretty funny.
428
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:26,692
I've still got a couple of magnets.
429
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:31,697
[BUZZING]
430
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,470
MITCHELL: The truth is, it's real easy to fit in,
431
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:41,006
but life's a lot more fun if you just be who you are.
432
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,012
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
29941
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