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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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Mr. King?
2
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,239
Mr. King, we're waiting for you.
3
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Mr. King? Mr. King?
4
00:00:20,282 --> 00:00:23,318
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.MY-SUBS.com
5
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,559
Touche or not touche, that is the question.
6
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,999
Take that, you vegan wannabe!
7
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,599
Take that, you Neil Diamond lover.
8
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,839
Hey! Don't knock Jewish Elvis.
9
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:36,039
Just had my last radiation
treatment, bitches!
10
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,159
My tit cancer's been cured,
or I'll turn into the Hulk,
11
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,399
but either way, it's a win.
12
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,279
- That's amazing news!
- Ah! Careful!
13
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:42,839
The girls are still tender!
14
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,119
Sorry. Sorry. We're going
to celebrate hardcore, right?
15
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,399
No. My follow-up mammogram's
not for another six months,
16
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,399
so I won't know if I've got
the all clear until then.
17
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,679
Oh. Shit.
18
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,519
It's OK, I know why I'm here.
19
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,920
Just fire me already, and get it over with.
20
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,039
Bear?
21
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,399
Your new band name. Bear
Maximum was giving me cock rot.
22
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,359
- I don't follow.
- Explain it to him, Spock.
23
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,719
I think Marsh is trying to
rebrand you as a performer,
24
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,479
not just a composer/producer.
25
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,919
I know I said I couldn't package
you, but I had a bit of a rethink.
26
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,199
I'll sign you as is...
old-school songwriter.
27
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,319
We'll wheel you out as a kind
of Joe Cocker meets Elbow.
28
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,959
That's right in the pocket!
29
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:23,399
Ever heard of Ezra +
Riley? Duo on my label?
30
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,639
Total tossers, but
they're getting quite big.
31
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,439
First headliners coming
up, six-month European tour.
32
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:29,519
My opener's pulled.
33
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,159
Rehab. I've got your
backing band all lined up.
34
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,919
All expenses paid. Tour leaves in a week.
35
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,239
- What about my nephew?
- I assume you'll want to bring him.
36
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,679
He's your Ray Manzarek. Everybody
loves a bit of keyboards.
37
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,359
So you're asking me to be
the opening act on a six-month
38
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:45,039
European tour with my
nephew, all expenses paid?
39
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,239
This is your shot. Don't blow it.
40
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,519
I'm not stressing.
I think it's great.
41
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,359
I just don't know how
I'm going to persuade them
42
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,159
to let me go, especially
with GCSEs coming up.
43
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,679
Is that you that changed it from
Dusky Butternut to Dusky Butt?
44
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,599
I learnt from the best.
45
00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,799
Unacceptable.
46
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,439
Sorry, I'll change the label.
47
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:05,919
No, that... punter perusing
with his dumb, handsome face.
48
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,559
We don't need that sort in here.
49
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,479
Look at him, with his chiselled features.
50
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,439
Who does he think he is, David Ginola?
51
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,479
Michelangelo called. He
wants his sculpture back.
52
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,679
Probably one of them blokes who
says that they love nipple clamps
53
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,519
but when push comes to shove, he's like,
54
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,080
"Ooh, no, I don't want
to hurt you, Roopesh."
55
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:26,199
♪ Please, please, please let Roly go ♪
56
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,039
♪ On tour with me and do a show ♪
57
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,879
♪ We'll make a handsome sum, for sure ♪
58
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,519
♪ If me and Roly go on tour ♪
59
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,239
♪ By day I'll make him learn and read ♪
60
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,359
♪ By night we'll make
some earholes bleed ♪
61
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,799
♪ Paris, Stockholm, Lisbon, Rome ♪
62
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,879
♪ He'll keep in touch,
I'll make him phone ♪
63
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,519
♪ Now it's time to sort this mess ♪
64
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,239
♪ So won't you kindly... ♪
65
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♪ Please... ♪
66
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♪ Say... ♪
67
00:02:53,400 --> 00:03:01,079
♪ Yes? ♪
68
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,359
I can't believe they said no!
69
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,359
Do they know how long it
took me to make those cards?
70
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,799
I'm still high off Sharpie fumes.
71
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,079
I'll just phone Marsh in the
morning and tell him it's off.
72
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,279
You're giving up the biggest
break of your life for me?
73
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,359
I can't believe it, either. But
who are we kidding? I'm better off
74
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,919
with you, and if I go it alone, I'll
only end up making a tit of myself.
75
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,959
- But you love tits.
- I know.
76
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,399
I guess this is what growing up feels like.
77
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,559
How long have you been sitting there?
78
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,039
Not long. Just 20 minutes.
79
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,399
- Listen, I've been thinking...
- 20 minutes?!
80
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,239
- Go without me.
- Am I dreaming?
81
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,199
You've been given a chance
you've always wanted,
82
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,799
and now you're terrified to balls it up.
83
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,319
What if all those hundreds of
people who thought you didn't have
84
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,839
what it takes were right? What if
you are just a talentless hack?
85
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,279
Instead of putting it all on the
line, you're going to retreat,
86
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,239
because if you don't ever try,
87
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,159
then at least you know
that you won't ever fail.
88
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,719
Don't use me as an excuse. I'll
be right here when the tour's over.
89
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,199
And who knows, I might
even have a girlfriend.
90
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,719
Now I know I'm dreaming.
91
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,759
It's not a dream, dummy!
92
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,599
- So, are you going or not?
- Yes. I'll go.
93
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Good.
94
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,959
So I figured it's going to take off, right?
95
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,199
- Yeah.
- That's going to...
96
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,439
Hi. The name's Andy, Andy King,
97
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but my friends call me Big Dick
Legend With A Heart Of Gold.
98
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Rich. Guitar.
99
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,399
Gareth. Drums.
100
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:22,319
- So, when's the headline act getting here?
- Oh, just over there.
101
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,119
Maybe one day we'll get a ride
that doesn't smell like zombie come.
102
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,559
The thing about zombie come is that
103
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:30,279
it tastes a lot better than it smells.
104
00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:31,720
Yeah, all right, mate.
105
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Berlin, here we come!
106
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Not without me!
107
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,599
Oh, what in the name of
holy fuck are you doing here?
108
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,999
Come to give me a goodbye kiss?
109
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,999
No, dick features, I'm your bassist.
110
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I don't think so. Marsh has
taste. Why would he hire you?
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Cos I done a few sessions
for him, and he likes my work.
112
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,479
I'm not happy about this,
either, but money's money.
113
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,199
Well, what do Gwen and
Val think about this?
114
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,759
That you're a prick. That you
need me to keep an eye on you.
115
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,039
But I'm warning you...
116
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,559
this isn't going to end
up with us being besties,
117
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,159
sleeping on each other's shoulders,
118
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:07,239
staying up all night watching Girls,
whilst eating Nutella out of a pot.
119
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,280
Savvy?
120
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,479
I don't even like Nutella.
121
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:21,959
This is really weird.
122
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,879
It's only been a day. I'm quite
enjoying the lack of thumping music
123
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,839
- coming from the basement.
- Garden flat.
124
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:29,959
Plus, now Roly and I get
to spend more time together.
125
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,879
You guys should take a knitting class.
126
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,319
- That is a great idea, Tiff.
- And we can go trainspotting.
127
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,759
Well, I should probably get
to school. Knowledge is power.
128
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,879
Yeah, the power to make
other people feel stupid.
129
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,879
Andy would've loved that one.
130
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,839
Six of one, half a dozen of the other,
131
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,439
but I didn't understand
that meant "the same"...
132
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:14,319
♪ No vital signs, no BPM ♪
133
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,840
♪ Our relationship
flatlined right then ♪
134
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,999
♪ There was nothing
left to do but pray ♪
135
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,519
♪ Like the last time you walked out ♪
136
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,799
♪ No survivors ♪
137
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:31,998
♪ No survivors ♪
138
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,279
♪ No... ♪
139
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,759
I mean... I mean... Erm...
140
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,999
Er, I think you're coming in a bit strong.
141
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,119
Maybe you're coming in a bit weak.
142
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,719
Am I rushing or dragging?
143
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,679
Oh, forget it. Let's go again.
144
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,439
♪ No vital signs, no BPM ♪
145
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,719
♪ Our relationship
flatlined right then ♪
146
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,999
♪ There was nothing
left to do but pray ♪
147
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,839
♪ Like the last time you walked out ♪
148
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:04,159
♪ No survivors ♪
149
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,319
♪ No survivors ♪
150
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,800
♪ No survivors... ♪
151
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,679
- How do you think it sounds?
- Honestly?
152
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,199
Like cats puking.
153
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,399
Well, can you tell your new
girlfriends to step in line?
154
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,959
I can't take your side in front
of them. They'll never respect me.
155
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:27,039
- Says the guy wearing the beanie.
- Hey! Don't diss the beans.
156
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,599
- Miss me already?
- You wish.
157
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,679
- Are you at school?
- Just getting out of chemistry.
158
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,919
- Why do chemists love nitrates so much?
- Why?
159
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,359
They're cheaper than day rates.
160
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:41,079
Listen, when we're rehearsing a
song and we disagree on something,
161
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,039
- how do we resolve it?
- Is it Casper? Bloody bassists!
162
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,359
I wish it was just Casper.
163
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,439
OK, well, here's what you
do. You've got to tell them,
164
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:48,999
"Listen here, you wastes of carbon.
165
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,399
"I haven't spent two decades
crawling out of music's..."
166
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,399
...shitter to let
you fanny-come-latelys
167
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,959
tell me how to play my music!
168
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,599
So if you've got a problem with
that, why don't you fuck off
169
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,919
back to the prick holes
that you dribbled out of?
170
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,200
And don't let the door hit you
where Phil Collins shit you!
171
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,519
♪ No vital signs, no BPM ♪
172
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,279
♪ Our relationship
flatlined back then ♪
173
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,719
♪ There was nothing
left to do but pray ♪
174
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,079
♪ Like the last time you walked out ♪
175
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,599
♪ No survivors ♪
176
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:33,279
♪ No survivors ♪
177
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,160
♪ No survivors... ♪
178
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,039
Goodnight, Prague!
179
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,279
You've been great, Oslo!
180
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,680
Goodnight, Stockholm!
181
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,759
Thank you, Amsterdam!
182
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,279
Goodnight, Brussels!
183
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,399
We did two encores last
night. For the second one,
184
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,079
we did a cover of Little
Red Corvette at half tempo,
185
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,439
James-Blaked the shit out of it.
186
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,719
I even caught Casper enjoying himself.
187
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:39,799
Oh, sounds amazing! Remind
me again, which one's Casper?
188
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,719
Bassist. Gwen's boyfriend. Sworn enemy.
189
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,079
When we're not making sweet
music together, that is.
190
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,279
Ahh! Are you in your hotel now?
191
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,679
Yeah. Pretty swank.
192
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,999
Scotland has the worst hotel porn, though.
193
00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,079
Shit. Sorry, Melodie, I should get this.
194
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,880
- Talk soon?
- Always.
195
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:05,999
Hey, Roly!
196
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,239
Are you freezing your balls off yet?
197
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,959
The one upside of Edinburgh is
that the entire place reeks of hops.
198
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,119
It's like I'm still drinking.
199
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,079
It sucks that we're in the same
country but we can't see each other.
200
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,479
Same kingdom. Different country.
201
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:23,599
All right, Cromwell.
202
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,639
How did you...?
203
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,999
We have this amazing new
invention called the rail service.
204
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,799
I've told Mum I'm staying
at a friend's house.
205
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,479
She won't suspect a thing. My train
back's at 7.30 tomorrow morning.
206
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,679
Sadly, it's too late to
visit the Scottish Parliament,
207
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,879
so we'll just have to make our own fun.
208
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,679
Mum is dragging me to ballroom
classes. Bruce has bought a drone
209
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:59,879
for us to fly, and Tiff has made
me watch all of the Divergent films.
210
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:00,999
You can say it.
211
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,999
OK, I did enjoy the first Divergent,
but the others just felt incoherent.
212
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,679
- Hunger Games was much better.
- No, you miss me.
213
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:10,439
Have you noticed how every room
service menu has a club sandwich?
214
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,920
Guess it's not a very exclusive club, then.
215
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,479
We're going to the bar. You coming?
216
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,199
Whoa. Hey, man, what happens in
Edinburgh stays in Edinburgh, but...
217
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,679
Shut up, donkey. That's his nephew.
218
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,799
There he is!
219
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,039
Errol said that you two have
been playing music together
220
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,479
since he was 12. You playing
nursery rhymes or something?
221
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,599
I'll have you know that
working with my nephew's been
222
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,719
a very important step in my
evolution as a songwriter.
223
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,799
I'm basically the John
Lennon to his Paul McCartney.
224
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,439
More like the Linda McCartney to my Paul.
225
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,159
They were the Wings of nursery rhymes.
226
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,959
No, it's cool you guys are so close, man.
227
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,959
I mean, I only see my uncle at Christmas,
228
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,279
which is often enough, cos he's a twat.
229
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:54,359
Both my parents are only children,
so I don't have an aunt or an uncle.
230
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,199
That explains so much.
231
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,919
The family you choose mean more
than the family you're born with.
232
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:03,719
- Thanks, Ghostie!
- Not you, idiots. Val and Gwen.
233
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,280
We're getting married when the tour's over.
234
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:11,639
I'm sure you and Val will
be very happy together.
235
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,600
It's funny, I'm really happy for you both.
236
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,599
If we ever have a boy,
237
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,879
we definitely won't call him Andy.
238
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,999
Ho, ho, ho!
239
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:29,039
Andy King is ho-ho-home
for the ho-ho-holidays!
240
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,319
Hey! The prodigal brother's returned.
241
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:36,479
Ow! You smell like Pringles and petrol.
242
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,119
Welcome home, dude.
243
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,919
Look, Bruce is teaching me how to shave.
244
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,319
I could've taught you how to shave.
245
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,399
What does Bruce know about
shaving? He's got a beard.
246
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,599
- So do you, Andy.
- Oh, yeah.
247
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,119
Now, wash that custard pie off
your face and put your shoes on.
248
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,719
We're going out to buy me a new car.
249
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,519
But me and Bruce were
just about to go droning.
250
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,359
I'll get my shoes.
251
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,639
Don't you think this looks a
little bit upmarket for you?
252
00:12:56,640 --> 00:13:00,479
Only if you've got a down-market 'tude.
253
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,039
Oh, shit, it's Alfie. We
need to go somewhere else.
254
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,999
No way. This is like
that scene in Pretty Woman
255
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,399
when Julia Roberts goes into
that shop and makes all the staff
256
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,399
feel like shit because
they made her feel like shit
257
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,399
when they thought that she
was just a poor prozzie.
258
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:12,879
Yeah, but she was just a poor prozzie.
259
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,519
And the proper term is "sex worker".
260
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,279
Well, well! What are you
two queefs doing here?
261
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,239
Get lost on the way to your bikini wax?
262
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,399
Speedo wax, actually. And no.
263
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,759
Nice hat, Alfie. Does a good
job of hiding those horns.
264
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,400
Dad!
265
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,559
Well, well.
266
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,599
If it isn't Baloo and Mowgli.
267
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,999
You need to update your refs, Tom.
268
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,279
You of all people, Baloo,
should know they've just made
269
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,120
a live-action Jungle Book,
so who's the muppet now?
270
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,079
You've got a lot of nerve showing
up here, after what you did.
271
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,919
- Don't know what you're talking about.
- Yeah?
272
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,679
- Who etched a cock on my Benters?
- Haven't the foggiest.
273
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:54,399
And you should know, Tom, a
lot's changed since last we met.
274
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,119
My band is currently on a European tour.
275
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,959
The Edinburgh show was rated
three stars in the Scotsman,
276
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,639
which is the equivalent
of six English stars.
277
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,359
Yeah? What's your band's name?
278
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,039
- It's Bear.
- What's that? I can't hear you.
279
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,599
Bear! We're called Bear!
280
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,640
That's a perfect band name, Baloo.
281
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,519
I forgot how funny you were!
282
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,560
He's not here to make jokes,
he's here to buy a car.
283
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,119
You can't afford any of these!
284
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:28,639
Not a problem. We could cut a
deal. My services for a discount.
285
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,919
What would you have to offer, Baloo?
286
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,439
I wrote a jingle for Carpet Brothers,
287
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,679
and their sales went up by 30%.
288
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,679
Actually, forget it.
289
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,519
I can see we're not dealing
with serious businessmen.
290
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,159
Errol, come.
291
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,279
Wait.
292
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,079
♪ Leyton Luxury Cars,
Leyton Luxury Cars, ♪
293
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,599
♪ Leyton Luxury Cars,
Leyton Luxury Cars ♪
294
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,679
♪ Oh, Leyton car
dealership is here to stay ♪
295
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,199
♪ If you don't like
it, get out the way ♪
296
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,079
♪ Whether you're from
Leyton or you're from Mars ♪
297
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,719
♪ Leyton is the best at dealing cars ♪
298
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,999
♪ The interiors are leather
and sometimes vinyl ♪
299
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,439
♪ Smells like a car, not a urinal ♪
300
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,639
♪ Come to fucking
Leyton car dealership ♪
301
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,999
♪ It'll make you cool,
it'll make you hip ♪
302
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,399
♪ Everybody's gonna think
you have a massive dick ♪
303
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,520
♪ It's Leyton Luxury Dealership ♪
304
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,959
♪
W-W-Word! ♪
305
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,799
Not bad, Baloo. You've
earned your discount.
306
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,440
On one condition.
307
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,639
I can live with that.
308
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,639
Hi, this is Errol, future Prime Minister.
309
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,119
Leave a message after the beep.
310
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,079
Hey, it's your cool Uncle Andy here.
311
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:33,039
Er, I'm in Stuttgart, but
my flight's been cancelled.
312
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,119
Bloody climate change!
313
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,679
So I guess I'll have to see you
next month. Sorry about that, mate.
314
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,840
Oh, PS... you're a nerd.
315
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:45,399
Well, Uncle Andy's not
coming back this weekend.
316
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,679
What am I going to do?
317
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,319
Spend time with friends your own age?
318
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,119
I haven't got any friends my own age.
319
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:52,760
Who's that?
320
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,199
That's Ian from school. He
keeps wanting to hang out.
321
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,960
He's a nice chap, but
he's into symphonic metal.
322
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,879
Hey!
323
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,399
Oh, wow, that looks really good.
324
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,599
Yeah. It's what happens
when you finally ask
325
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,719
your professional-artist brother for help.
326
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,919
Ooh, speaking of collabs, I spoke
with the oncologist today, and, erm,
327
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,719
she says if... sorry, no,
when... I get the all clear,
328
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,239
she recommends that we
wait for two more years
329
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:24,439
before trying for a baby
again, in case of a relapse.
330
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:28,759
Well, I've been waiting 13 years
for the new Postal Service album,
331
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,720
so two years is a cinch.
332
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,679
The road warrior's here!
333
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,919
Witness me!
334
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,999
Guess who, motherfucker?
335
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,079
- Oh. Hey, Andy.
- Oh?
336
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,279
Who are these people, and
what are they doing in my flat?
337
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,439
We're Ophelia Nightshade. I'm Ian.
338
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,639
Sorry. It just seemed
like a nice place to jam.
339
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,839
"Jam"? Are you a band?!
340
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,280
Roly! Is that a bass?
341
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,199
The bass was just a one-time
thing. I was just experimenting.
342
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,439
This isn't a band, it's
just a school project.
343
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,959
They're not even my mates,
they're just co-workers.
344
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,919
- Trust me, no fun was being had.
- I saw the bowl of Starmix.
345
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,039
It was just oranges and yellows.
346
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,040
What...? What are those magazines?
347
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,679
- Someone's written an article about me.
- Oh, wow! Can I see?
348
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,679
Maybe when you've finished
with your co-workers.
349
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,519
If you want some company,
there's always Tiff.
350
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:38,919
You'd be doing me a big favour.
351
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,519
She keeps on flirting with Ian
and showing him her jujitsu moves.
352
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,159
I don't need company! I've just
performed a sell-out concert
353
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,719
in front of 3,000 adoring fans.
And seriously, "Ophelia Nightshade"?
354
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,000
Have you gone all symphonic metal on me?
355
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,759
You paid them to write this, right?
356
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,239
No. Why would you think that?
357
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,399
It says that you're handsome and
charismatic. If I gave a shit,
358
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,119
- I'd be really proud of you.
- Thank you.
359
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,279
Listen, Andy, can I, er...
360
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,519
ask your advice about something?
361
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,999
You want my advice?
362
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,359
- Yeah.
- It's a new low.
363
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,479
I just feel weird talking
to Gwen about this.
364
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,839
I knew it. You hate Casper.
We've all been there.
365
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,679
No, you knob! I'm seeing
someone. Patrick. He's...
366
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,719
lovely, and it's getting
serious, but he has teenage kids
367
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,159
and an ex-wife, and
they're really straight.
368
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,719
You know? Square?
369
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,959
And I don't know what
they're going to make of me,
370
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,280
or Gwen or this place...
371
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:40,679
I refuse to change who I am.
And I just... I just don't want
372
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,640
to scare them off before
they get to know me, you know?
373
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,120
- What?
- Oh, my God!
374
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,679
You are so insecure.
375
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:56,719
Andy, don't make me kill you
just when things were looking up.
376
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,319
Listen, Val...
377
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,039
you are one of the coolest,
378
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:05,919
most genuine, beautiful
human beings I have ever met.
379
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,799
You stick up for your
friends and your family.
380
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,759
And if you're special to this guy,
381
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,519
then his family should know about it.
382
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:19,119
And if they can't see it,
and he won't show them,
383
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,239
then he doesn't deserve you.
384
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,079
If he doesn't want what you're cooking,
385
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,720
then I'll come over for dinner.
386
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,199
Are you hitting on me?
387
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,520
Accidentally, maybe.
388
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,279
Happy 16th, Roly!
389
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,719
You're now old enough to
register as a blood donor.
390
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,399
- Or join the army.
- Or get married.
391
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,319
- Over my dead body.
- Or ride a moped, like a true mod.
392
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,239
- Over your dead body.
- Hey!
393
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,279
You're leaving the biggest one out.
394
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,519
Sex!
395
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:28,759
You are officially old enough
to change your name by deed poll!
396
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,839
This "Errol" joke has
been going on long enough.
397
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,079
Hi, Uncle Andy.
398
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,999
Wow. When Sam heard I could
finally afford to move out,
399
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,599
she wasted no time in
packing all my stuff up.
400
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,879
Cool. Thanks.
401
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,959
It's a lady's small.
It should fit perfectly.
402
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,719
Now that's out the way,
what do you want to do?
403
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,159
We could go and try and sneak
you into an 18-certificate film,
404
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,119
or we could have a jam
session. Starmix on me.
405
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,839
I'd love to, but my friends are waiting.
406
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,199
I'll see you at the gig tonight.
407
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,439
Ophelia Nightshade are
friends now, are they?
408
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,159
I don't think I should feel guilty
for jamming with other people.
409
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,959
And if you think Ophelia Nightshade's dumb,
410
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,439
then what about the Bear Maximum?
411
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,199
- That is a riff on a joke that you made.
- When I was 12.
412
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,799
Well, if you're so mature, then
how come you've stopped answering
413
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,839
- my calls?
- Well, because I knew you'd make me feel bad
414
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,199
- for having fun without you.
- Yeah, well, I've been having fun
415
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,159
without you. I've been
having the time of my life.
416
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,559
Why would I want to hang around
with a stupid kid from Croydon?
417
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,879
Because this stupid kid is the
only real friend you've got.
418
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,159
Real friends hang out with
each other on their birthdays,
419
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,079
- not with a bunch of talentless brats.
- I only said
420
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,719
- they were talentless to protect your fragile ego.
- My fragile ego?!
421
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,239
The only reason I started hanging
out with you in the first place
422
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,839
was because you're my sister's
weirdo kid and I felt sorry for you.
423
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,079
Well, don't let me cramp your
style. And me playing bass...
424
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,119
that wasn't a one-time
thing. I'm a bassist now!
425
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,439
Well, you know what a bassist
and a Hoover have in common?
426
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,079
They both suck when you plug them in!
427
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,120
Fuck you, Andy!
428
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,479
One minute you're writing hits for NTL,
429
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,919
and now you're opening for Ezra + Riley.
430
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,599
Does it all feel kind of surreal to you?
431
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,519
Yeah. I mean, it's been a long road.
432
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,119
And this band is kind of
an evolution of your duo,
433
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,159
the Bear Maximum, right?
That was with your nephew?
434
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,239
Can you talk about how
that influenced your sound?
435
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:00,559
Yeah.
436
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,600
I mean, he wasn't available to do the tour.
437
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,079
Erm... Oh, I've got to get this.
438
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,639
Hey. What's up?
439
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,759
We're heading over to the
venue, but I can't find Roly,
440
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:13,359
and he's not picking up.
Have you heard from him?
441
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,119
All right, you fanny flannels.
After six months together,
442
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,399
I can say each of you now
feels like a brother...
443
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,039
a brother in the sense that
I'm tired of smelling your farts
444
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,959
and cleaning up your vom.
445
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:49,199
I'm ashamed to say I know your
wank schedules better than my own.
446
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:53,079
Now, let's get out there and give
them the show of our lives tonight.
447
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,039
I've got some ex-girlfriends in the crowd,
448
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,159
and I'd like to make them feel
bad for letting me get away.
449
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,079
Andy? You want to add anything?
450
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,679
Erm...
451
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,479
Don't fuck it up.
452
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,239
Don't fuck it up!
453
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,719
Come on, boys, come on.
454
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,039
Mr. King?
455
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,639
Mr. King, we're waiting for you.
456
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:08,679
♪ We're always told it's
all about the taking part ♪
457
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,879
♪ Yeah, whoopy-doo
and, well done, you ♪
458
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,599
♪ You take that sentiment to heart ♪
459
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,559
♪ You lag behind ♪
460
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,399
♪ You've constantly been overlapped ♪
461
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,799
♪ I raise my hat, I'm impressed that ♪
462
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,279
♪ You've really ran with being crap ♪
463
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,199
♪ Here we go again, here we go again ♪
464
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,919
♪ You're perfect again ♪
465
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,599
♪ Coming last again ♪
466
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,959
♪ You can't know again
You're on show again... ♪
467
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:40,079
So, you got all that rock-star
stuff out of your system?
468
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:44,279
No? Good! Cos I want
Bear to do me an album.
469
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,439
Don't thank me.
470
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:46,559
Fuck me.
471
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,359
In the ears. With your music.
472
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:51,679
- I'll give it a go.
- Super.
473
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:52,999
Ezra, you skinny twat.
474
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,279
Andy, you ready to finish that interview?
475
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,600
Yeah, er...
476
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,280
Maybe later.
477
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,359
Hi.
478
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:11,559
That was a great show.
479
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,200
Yeah. Thanks.
480
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,120
You want to get out of here?
481
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,599
You punch like a diabetic kitten.
482
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:30,919
You punch like Danny DeVito
in a zero-gravity plane.
483
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:34,839
You punch like an inflatable
balloon man at a boat show.
484
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,360
You punch like a bassist.
485
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,639
Oh. Sorry.
486
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,279
That was a low blow.
487
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,879
You're my best friend.
488
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:49,959
Shut up!
489
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,999
You're my best friend,
and that will never change,
490
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,360
but I've got some friends my own age now.
491
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,439
And I might need to start
hanging out with them more.
492
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,679
For sociological reasons.
493
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:04,879
You know, how can I pretend
to be a normal teenage boy
494
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,079
if I don't study their ways?
495
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,439
And sure, I might play in a few bands, but
496
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,480
you'll always be my number one.
497
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,960
Yeah. Well, you'll always be my number two.
498
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:18,800
And you're my best friend.
499
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,120
I love you, Errol Andrew Meyer.
500
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,199
I love you, too...
501
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,359
Andrew...
502
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:32,719
An-Andrew, er...
503
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,559
Oh, my God!
504
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,319
You don't know my middle name!
505
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,919
'Course I do! It... Er, it...
506
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,919
- It's, er... Andy?
- You think my name is Andrew Andy King?!
507
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,279
AA King? It sounds... It
sounds fancy, like, er...
508
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:47,959
- AA Milne.
- Yeah.
509
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:52,319
The only problem is that my
full name is Andrew Guthrie King.
510
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,519
Shit. It's Ian and the lads.
511
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,479
They've come to pick up
me and Tiff for a party.
512
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,199
And they're totally
spaced. I'll... I'll cancel.
513
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,759
No, no, you should go.
514
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,439
You know, I've got to finish
packing up this place, anyway.
515
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,639
- Are you sure?
- Go on. Get out of here.
516
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,960
See you later...
517
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,519
...Baloo.
518
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:15,840
See you later, Mowgli.
519
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,640
Silly old bear.
520
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,279
Hey! Don't cry.
521
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:55,599
It was only a wee.
522
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,400
Sorry. It's just...
523
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,359
...Roly's growing up.
524
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:05,439
You're moving out. It's
like everything's changing.
525
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:06,959
Yeah, it's funny.
526
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,839
This feels like the first time in
my life that I'm actually all right
527
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:17,999
with being on my own, like I don't
need someone else to complete me.
528
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,799
But, if it's making you this sad,
529
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,079
- I'll stay.
- No.
530
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,719
I'm very proud you've finally
put a deposit on a flat,
531
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,439
like a real grown-up. It's amazing.
532
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,919
And it's a moot point,
anyway, because, erm,
533
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,439
Roly's moving down here
to make some more space.
534
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,799
"Space"?
535
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,199
- For what?
- The new nursery.
536
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:42,879
Bruce and I hadn't planned it,
537
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,679
but we've decided, as long
as I stay in remission,
538
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,959
then we are moving forward.
539
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,439
Am I a stupid cow?
540
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,119
Andy?
541
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,240
Andy! Can you please say something?
542
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:56,880
You mean...
543
00:29:03,372 --> 00:29:04,812
...I'm going to be an uncle?
544
00:29:04,813 --> 00:29:09,813
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.MY-SUBS.com
43336
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