All language subtitles for Uncle S03E04

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:39,922 --> 00:00:41,118 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.MY-SUBS.com 2 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,839 As smooth operations go, this one's up there. 3 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,519 - Have you just given her anything? - Just put the local in. 4 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,719 She's dumped her pressure and her sats are dropping. 5 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,319 OK, give me adrenaline, hydrocortisone, 200 milligrams. 6 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,599 - Shall I carry on or stop? - Stop! 7 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,999 Stop! 8 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,959 This is officially the best day ever. 9 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,399 Comfy hospital gown... check. Trashy hospital mag... check. 10 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,839 If this bed had a vibrate button, I could die happy. 11 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,519 - You're not convincing anyone. - Fine. 12 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:17,039 I'm starving. Seriously, who can go 12 hours without eating anything? 13 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,719 Andy! Can you stop moving about? 14 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,079 He's probably thinking about all the primo drugs that are in this building right now. 15 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,159 I wasn't! Until you mentioned it. 16 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,479 And, actually, I was worried about my sister. Thank you. 17 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,159 You don't need to worry. It's just a lumpectomy. I'm going to be fine. 18 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,559 And I get that you're detoxing, but can you stand still? Cos you're making me nauseous. 19 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,199 Nauseated. Nauseous means you're making other people nauseated. 20 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,639 Whatever. You know what I mean. And why are you being so snippy? 21 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,879 Judging by his jumper, he's gone full Robert Smith. 22 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,359 Or maybe he has a girlfriend. 23 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,079 Sam, be rational. 24 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,319 - Come on, sweetie, what's up? - They should make hospital gowns red. 25 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,599 That way, they can at least blend in with all the blood. 26 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,799 I regret letting you watch American Psycho. 27 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,839 - Who is it? - It's Mum. She's asking if you've had your roots done, 28 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,599 and I quote, "The surgeon won't care about you unless you care about yourself." 29 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,959 Aww! Mum of the Year! 30 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,679 Hospital parking is the worst. 50 quid for a day? 31 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,719 I could buy a black-market kidney for that. So! What's shaking? 32 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,519 I am reading which celebs are in a messy break-up this month, 33 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,839 Andy's detoxing and Roly's sulking. 34 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,119 - He's not sulking. - Speaking of sulky teens, Tiff sends her love. 35 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,599 - Aww! - Oh, and Claire. - Eurgh! Mwah! 36 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,479 - You look so beautiful. - What did I tell you? 37 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,879 I'm not being sentimental. 38 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,759 I'm an emotional rock. 39 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,999 - I'm wearing paper knickers. - Oh! 40 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,519 Mum, is this really the time? 41 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,479 Any day that I'm legally allowed to pump myself full of drugs 42 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,280 - is a win. - So lucky. 43 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,879 What? Oh, yeah, cancer's terrible. Yeah. 44 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,399 Hi, Samantha. So, the surgeon has five procedures today 45 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,479 and you are second on the list, 46 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,039 so you shouldn't have too long to wait. Do you have any questions? 47 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,640 What is the Wi-Fi password? 48 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,679 Fine, I'll just try "hospital1234". 49 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,319 Oh, how do people do this? 50 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,359 - Sit still? - Manage stress without drugs. 51 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,119 It's not like you were doing drugs all the time. What's different now? 52 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,239 Now, I am officially an addict, and as soon as you tell me 53 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,959 I can't have something, I want it even more. 54 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,119 I went mental when they discontinued curry Twiglets. 55 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,359 - So how did you manage stress before? - There was no before. 56 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,559 I had my first spliff when I was 11. 57 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,279 Don't look at me like that. I looked old for my age. 58 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,839 - And I didn't have a stable home life. - And I do? 59 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,200 Fair enough. 60 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,999 I know, I know. I've got to find... 61 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:42,119 a better way to filter my feelings, but I'm not a fucking fish tank, am I? 62 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,799 Well, you've only been clean about a week. 63 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,679 Why don't you just try thinking about something else? Like Melodie. 64 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,439 - The one that got away? - Yeah, that'll help. 65 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,879 - How long's she been in there? - 40 minutes. 66 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,200 - Definitely feels longer. - That's what she said. - Don't steal my act. 67 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,599 How are you so calm? 68 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:01,959 I'm a man of science. Feelings have no place in a hospital. 69 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,199 What is it? 70 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,600 "Stay arm, we're shit, kiss-kiss". 71 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,479 Whatever. 72 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,159 Right... Here's something fun that'll keep us busy. 73 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:18,159 Uncle Frank taught me this. If you stare directly at it, then the coin is yours. 74 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,599 And when you've got it, you've got to get me to stare at it. 75 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,959 Then I get it back. 76 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,839 The trick is to hold it underneath the waist 77 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:27,719 and whoever's got the coin at the end of the day is the loser. 78 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,399 When you said this game was going to be fun, 79 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,719 did you really mean it was going to be pointless and stupid? 80 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,800 Ahhh, shit! I've got cramp in my foot. 81 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,359 Who's stupid now, stupid? 82 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:39,879 What happens to the loser? 83 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,719 A friend of mine had to go out in public dressed as a condom. 84 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,239 - Why would anyone do that? - Because he has a reputation 85 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,480 for being a wild and crazy guy, and that's its own burden. 86 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,559 Are you going to tell me what my mum said before she went to surgery? 87 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,839 Are you going to tell me what happened to your wrist? 88 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:58,199 Oh. 89 00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,599 That was, er... 90 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,519 That was just a reading accident. 91 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,119 Sprained it while... 92 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,279 turning a page too fast. 93 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:06,719 Ah. 94 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,359 Oh, shit, how did I get blood on my jeans? 95 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,599 Oh, you... 96 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,399 I think I'm going to enjoy this game. 97 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,119 - Oi, Errol. Do you like my shoes? - Not falling for it. 98 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,519 The floor's got a funny pattern on it, hasn't it? 99 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:26,079 I thought being in a wheelchair would be embarrassing, but I could get used to this. 100 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,080 Andy, stop chewing your feelings. 101 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,279 So, what are you guys going to do while I'm gone? 102 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,519 Oh, you know, we're going to poke corpses and take some selfies 103 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,039 with corpses. I'm kidding! 104 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,679 We're not going to take any selfies. 105 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,199 All right, don't miss me too much. 106 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:45,879 Bruce. 107 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,679 I'm... I'm not crying. 108 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,959 I'm the rock. 109 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,559 I crush feelings for fun. 110 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,120 Andy, come here. There's something I need to tell you. Come on. 111 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,200 - To the Batmobile, Robin. - Mum... 112 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,040 Break a leg. 113 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,559 Turn that down! 114 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,079 - What did you do that for? - So I can hear myself think. 115 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,919 And what are you doing listening to New Order? 116 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,079 - Joy Division. - They're the same band, 117 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,839 and they're for pretentious art school burn-outs. 118 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:39,079 - It's your record. - What on earth are you wearing? 119 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:43,279 - Clothes. What does it look like? - Like Halloween's come early. 120 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,639 - Where are you going? - Out. - Oh, no, you're not. 121 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,199 Veronica will be here any minute. We're going to order takeaway. 122 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,640 - I'm not hungry. - I'm not negotiating. You have to be up early. 123 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,839 - Your clothes make you look dumpy. - Excuse me? 124 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,559 You always wear your Fred Perry shirts like 125 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,999 you're still a young mod, but you're not. 126 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,319 You're just a sad middle-aged man trying to hang on to his glory days. 127 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:06,240 Pathetic. 128 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,720 - Enjoy your night out. - Don't wait up. 129 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,720 There you are! She's still in theatre. 130 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,199 What are you doing? 131 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,399 What does it look like I'm doing? I'm turning my lungs to jerky. 132 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,799 Give me a puff. 133 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,239 - No way. - Is that because cigarettes are a drug? 134 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,559 I see what you're doing. 135 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,959 If cigarettes are a drug and I've given up drugs, then I should give up cigarettes. 136 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,999 Well, you're wrong. 137 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,639 They're not drugs. 138 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,639 If they're not drugs, then give me a puff. 139 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,919 Fine. They're drugs. But if you take these away from me, 140 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,959 then I'll have nothing, and then I'll go full Kanye. 141 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,959 Don't ruin the only thing I've got left to live for. 142 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,879 This isn't about you. This is about what I want. 143 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,159 And surely my silence is worth a puff. 144 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,999 - You're allergic. - I've got my inhaler. 145 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,480 - Your mum would kill me. - What she doesn't know won't kill her. 146 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,599 Fine, I'll give you a puff. 147 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,480 But first, you've got to guess what my shoe size is. 148 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,720 You have got a lot to learn, young padawan. 149 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,640 ID. 150 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,520 I have a pituitary condition. 151 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,359 Um... 152 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,879 Lovely weather we're having. 153 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:56,799 I wouldn't know. I haven't been outside in a month. 154 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,239 - Oh. - Go on, just ask me. - Ask what? 155 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,239 - What I'm here for. - What are you here for? 156 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,159 Anal bleaching. 157 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,839 And leukaemia. I got a two-for-one deal. 158 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,239 - I shouldn't be laughing, that was quite dark. - I know. 159 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,079 That's why I'm getting it bleached. 160 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,599 - What are you in for? - My mum's having a lump removed. 161 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,039 - That sucks. - I know. - No, it sucks for me. 162 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,679 I was hoping you were a new inpatient. 163 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:25,839 - Cancer ward's got pretty slim pickings. - Hm! Thanks. 164 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,199 - For what? - For not saying everything's going to be OK. 165 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,319 Trust me, if there's one thing leukaemia teaches you, 166 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,039 it's that everything is not going to be OK. 167 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,079 And anyone that says that is full of crap. 168 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,679 Do you know how annoying people are when you're dying? 169 00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:40,399 It's like I can't be sad because they won't let themselves be sad. 170 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,079 And they're always going on about positive visualisation 171 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,959 and what an inspiration I am to everyone. 172 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,599 Hurgh. 173 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,719 I don't even think I mind dying that much. 174 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,199 Any more. 175 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,839 But I'll tell you what really grinds my gears. 176 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,439 I'm not going to be around for the next Star Wars 177 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,599 or the last Game Of Thrones book. 178 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,200 God, I'd give anything for someone to stop pitying me and tell it like it is. 179 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,799 Your hat clashes with your robe. 180 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,880 Come on, you can do better than that. 181 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,919 I bet you've never read any Kierkegaard, 182 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,679 and if you did, you wouldn't understand it. 183 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,199 Are you kidding me? 184 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,959 I bet the most interesting thing about you 185 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,600 is that you're dying. 186 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,159 Nicely done. 187 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,519 All right? Let's hit the road, young lady. 188 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,119 Nice talking to you. 189 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,479 See you in the next life. 190 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,479 Here's hoping you make it to the next Star Wars. 191 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,639 Don't hold your breath for Game Of Thrones. 192 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,240 Yeah, screw you, too. 193 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:43,919 Where've you been? 194 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,519 Let's just say I never thought I'd have a wank in a hospital. 195 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,679 Look, she's going to be all right. 196 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,319 All right? We just need to... think positive. 197 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,919 Yeah? That's what your mum would want. How about a joke? 198 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,559 - Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Jesus. - Jesus who? 199 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,039 Come on! You've heard of me. 200 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,719 Jesus, I wish I was high. 201 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,679 - Maybe I'll join a gym. - You don't need a gym. You need a hug. 202 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:10,679 Come here. 203 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:12,600 Come here. 204 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,959 Cool. Well... 205 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,079 I'll just set this over here for whenever you want it. 206 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,799 I know. We should get Sam a snack from the vending machine, all right? 207 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,719 - She's going to be starving when she wakes up. - Maltesers are her favourite. 208 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,239 - Pretty sure it's Dairy Milk. - Guys, I'm pretty sure it's Wotsits. - Since when? 209 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,639 Since she used to eat them every time she had the munchies, 210 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,559 and since I've known her longer than both of you. 211 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,399 I was connected to her with an umbilical cord. 212 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,879 Well, I've had se... 213 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,599 sex with her, so... 214 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,719 - What's her favourite colour? - Purple. - Green. 215 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,679 - It's sea foam. - What's sea foam? 216 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:50,199 - It's pastel mint. - What, you mean green?! 217 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,800 - Roly, what happened to your wrist? - Nothing. 218 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,879 Ooh. Mm... 219 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,239 Sam just went into surgery. 220 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,439 I'm sure she'll be fine. Andy said it was routine. 221 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,439 - Maybe I should call back anyway. - They've got enough going on. 222 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,279 I should write something back, though, right? 223 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,439 - Definitely. - Ohh, I hate texting. 224 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,759 It's such a shallow way to communicate. 225 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:29,879 Right, how about, "We're all praying for her"? 226 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,879 - Nah, bit grim. - Mm. - How about, 227 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,919 "Even with a dodgy tit, I still would"? 228 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,919 Yeah, so would I. 229 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,799 But her brother's reading the text. 230 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,759 - Do you know what? I'm going to leave it. - No, no, no. 231 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,159 You have to say something, even if it's just... 232 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,319 "Kiss-kiss." 233 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,879 I wouldn't kiss-kiss Andy if his lips were made of tits. 234 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,799 - Mike... - Yes, boss? 235 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,039 Family friend's in hospital having surgery on a tumour. 236 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,319 What should I text her brother? 237 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,119 Internet hugs?! 238 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,999 Internet hugs? Euch! 239 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,559 No wonder I pay you for your body and not your mouth. 240 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:07,199 You could do emojis, like a frowny face and a bicep curl. 241 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,479 That means, "I'm worried, stay strong." 242 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,839 Is there an emoji for, "I couldn't think of something to say, 243 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,399 "so I'm sending you a bullshit emoji"? 244 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,719 - Thinking face, poo face. - Here, just let me do it. - No, no... 245 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,839 - Dad, let me do it. I've got an idea. - No, no... - Dad, give it to me! - Oh, shit. 246 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,159 What? 247 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,599 It sent. 248 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,599 Do you think you'll ever have kids? 249 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,599 Dunno. 250 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,719 Society's broken. 251 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,999 We can't even get the electoral system right. 252 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,199 What about you? Do you think you'll ever do it? 253 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,519 Vote? No. 254 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,759 I mean, I'm still on the fence between Coke and Pepsi. 255 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,999 No, I mean have a baby. 256 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,039 Especially after the whole Teresa thing. 257 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,159 Uh... 258 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,359 I think I've got enough people disappointed in me 259 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,879 without creating new ones. 260 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,840 What if it was with Melodie? 261 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,880 I've got it. 262 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,599 How about... 263 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:10,120 the loser of the coin game gets to take a vow of silence for a week? 264 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,359 Sorry, excuse me. 265 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:20,279 I'm Dr. Marcum. Are you Samantha King's family? 266 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,639 - Yeah. - Everything went fine with the procedure. 267 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,599 She tolerated the general really well. 268 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,599 But when they were finishing up, she had an allergic reaction 269 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,439 to the local anaesthetic they used to close the incision 270 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,679 and she went into anaphylactic shock. 271 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,759 Hi, Sally. 272 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,840 I'll keep you posted. 273 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,359 She looks so peaceful. 274 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:54,239 Well, I'm not. It's cramped as hell in this thing. 275 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,399 Don't you think this looks a bit bling for Uncle Frank? 276 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,559 That cardboard box over there's only 100 quid. 277 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,239 I'm sure all the green options are probably more his speed, anyway. 278 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,279 - He'd probably hate this one. - That's what he gets for dying without a will while 279 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,999 illegitimate kids pop out of woodwork and I'm left paying for his stupid body to sit in a freezer 280 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,359 for ages because no-one will fork out for the burial costs. 281 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,359 No. This way, I get the last laugh. 282 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,719 I'll remember that when you die. 283 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,319 Who says I'm dying before you? I am way healthier. 284 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,839 You're going to die first, cos that's how dramatic irony works, 285 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,839 and then Roly can live with me full-time. 286 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,799 - I still have a dad, remember? - What if they both die, like, together, 287 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,399 in a helicopter crash or something? 288 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,239 What are my two divorced parents doing in a helicopter ride together? 289 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,919 They're coming to my private concert on a remote tropical island. 290 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,719 You arrived earlier by seaplane. 291 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,199 Well, I'll tell them not to go, then. 292 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,719 You're not killing my mum with your stupid tropical concert. 293 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,679 I'll kill her however I want to kill her. 294 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,039 Boys! Relax. I'm not going to go to Andy's made-up concert 295 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,759 and I'm not going to get in any helicopters. 296 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,559 You're not getting rid of me for a long time. 297 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,279 Hi, can I help you? 298 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,039 Oh, how much is this coffin? 299 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,679 £750. 300 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,239 We'll take the cardboard box. 301 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,439 Look, I'm sorry, I don't have an update for you. 302 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:01,119 - This is unacceptable. She's my wife. - Ex-wife. 303 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:04,959 I know this is difficult for you, I understand that... Hey, Kim. 304 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,039 Listen, mate, I'm feeling really tender today, 305 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,239 so apologies if this comes across as rude, 306 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,639 but I want you to go and find out what is going on with my sister 307 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,959 right now or I am going to lose it, please! 308 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,439 OK, I'll... I'll see what I can do. 309 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,599 I need a coffee. 310 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,879 I'd better make sure he gets a decaf. 311 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,399 No, of course, I wouldn't normally call like this, 312 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,399 you know, especially the night before you have... 313 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,040 Um... You know... 314 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,759 Er, we... we had a row. 315 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,919 Row? About what? 316 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,239 I don't even know. I think he's just... 317 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,640 pushing back. 318 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:48,199 I wish he could worship me again like he did when he was little. 319 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,959 Do you think my shirts are too tight? 320 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,479 No... Well... Well, maybe just the Fred Perry ones. 321 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,159 - I only wear Fred Perry ones. - Well, thanks for the call. - No, wait, Sam... 322 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,279 - There's something else. - Yes, your jeans are a bit crotchy. 323 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,319 No, um... Look, I know tomorrow's only routine, 324 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,239 but I just wanted to say that, um... 325 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:09,039 I'll be thinking of you and... 326 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,239 I... 327 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,719 Hey! Roly! 328 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,239 - You're back. - Yeah. - Cool. 329 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,000 I'm just, er... 330 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,679 ...ordering pizza. 331 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,279 - Can we have mozzarella sticks, please? - What? 332 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:24,959 I thought you had takeaway with Veronica. 333 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,639 Midnight... snack. 334 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,399 Yes, I'll... I'll pay cash. 335 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,319 Wait, Errol... 336 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:31,759 Pathetic. 337 00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:45,560 - What is this? - A great room to come to think in peace. 338 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,320 Until you followed me in. 339 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,439 Ohh! 340 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,119 Does feeling everything always hurt this much? 341 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:57,839 Well, I wouldn't know. You're talking to a man of science, remember? 342 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,159 - I'm basically a sentient robot. - All right, robot, 343 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,559 do you want to tell me what really happened to your wrist? 344 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:06,519 It's embarrassing, really. I went to a concert last night and, er... 345 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,839 got fake ID and everything, and then they... 346 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,879 stamped my wrist to get into the venue. 347 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,959 It was all going great until... 348 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,759 suddenly my wrist began to swell up into a blistered mess. 349 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,959 I was allergic to the stamp. You don't want to see it, trust me. 350 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,999 That's what you get for doing cool shit without me. 351 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,279 Lesson learned. 352 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,519 Hi there. 353 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:30,199 - Oh, we're just leaving. - You don't need to leave. Is there anything you want to talk about? 354 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,359 No, we're good, thanks. You sure there isn't someone you want me to pray for? 355 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,759 - Are you having a laugh? - Errol... don't. 356 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,639 You're offering prayer up like it's something real that's going to help. 357 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,079 Praying is just thinking. 358 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,599 It's inaction wrapped in piety. It's the least you can do for a person. 359 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,519 I'm praying for you to shut up right now. 360 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,199 I find prayer is a good way to take stock of the things 361 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:52,919 we're grateful for and gives us, the prayer, a sense of perspective 362 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,319 and can help us to process feelings 363 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:59,399 by asking a divine something-greater-than-ourselves for help. 364 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,959 Like Mystic Meg, only not £1.50 a minute. 365 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,999 Richard Dawkins says a delusion is something people believe in 366 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,719 despite a total lack of evidence. 367 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,079 What do you have to say to that? 368 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,599 That I've never seen the ocean floor, but I know it's there. 369 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,119 That's because we have scientific evidence and photos 370 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,959 and Jacques Cousteau documentaries. 371 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,559 I'm not here to change your mind. 372 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,879 I'm only saying... what's the harm? 373 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,439 The harm... 374 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,159 is there is no God and we're all alone and everything is meaningless, 375 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,799 or there is a God and he gives people cancer 376 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,559 and only takes it away when people pray hard enough, meaning he's a total wanker. 377 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,959 Roly, wait. 378 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:37,200 - They're ready for you. - All right, let's go see the wizard. - Wait. 379 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,799 Oh, no. Not a ukulele. 380 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,599 It's what they call in recovery "rock-bottom". 381 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,679 ♪ My dog has fleas ♪ 382 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,999 ♪ Like a ship in a bottle ♪ 383 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,079 ♪ I don't want it to change ♪ 384 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,679 ♪ Even though he pissed me off And led the kid a-strange ♪ 385 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:59,599 ♪ Cos who is gonna tell me When I am full of shit? ♪ 386 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:03,479 ♪ And who will make me miserable And make me babysit? ♪ 387 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:07,279 ♪ So if you fucking die on me And leave me on my own ♪ 388 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:11,239 ♪ I promise I will hunt you down You'll have nowhere to turn ♪ 389 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:15,039 ♪ It's not that I would miss you Just I couldn't stand the fuss ♪ 390 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:19,239 ♪ Don't make me plan a funeral We're better off as us ♪ 391 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:23,639 ♪ I hate cancer More than ukulele songs ♪ 392 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,719 ♪ They're horrific, annoying And worst of all ♪ 393 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,919 ♪ They're twee as fuck And won't shut up ♪ 394 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,759 ♪ They jingle jangle on my tits ♪ 395 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,519 ♪ I hate them and they fuck me off ♪ 396 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,759 ♪ I wanna smash them all to bits ♪ 397 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:39,079 ♪ I hate cancer More than ukulele songs ♪ 398 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,319 ♪ They're annoying and hipster And worst of all ♪ 399 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,319 ♪ They're twee as fuck And won't shut up ♪ 400 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,239 ♪ They jingle jangle on my tits ♪ 401 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,119 ♪ I hate them and they fuck me off ♪ 402 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:50,119 ♪ I wanna smash them all to bits ♪ 403 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:54,439 ♪ I hate cancer More than ukulele songs ♪ 404 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,519 ♪ They're annoying and hipster And worst of all ♪ 405 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,519 ♪ They're twee as fuck And won't shut up ♪ 406 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,479 ♪ They jingle jangle on my tits ♪ 407 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,399 ♪ I hate them and they fuck me off ♪ 408 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,400 ♪ I wanna smash them all to bits. ♪ 409 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,159 - Give me a cigarette. - Roly! - Please, I just need something 410 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,199 - to take my mind off my dying mum. - Is this how it is now? 411 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,959 Following a family tradition of gateway drugs and self-harm? 412 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,800 - Self-harm? - Did it make you feel better? 413 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,199 - I'm not going to let you hurt yourself. - How about I hurt you, then? 414 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,319 Roly! Calm down. 415 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,759 Don't tell me to calm down. I'm always the calm one. 416 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,679 When do I get to lose my shit? 417 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,119 - Ow! Shit! - Come on, hit me. 418 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,319 I'm not going to hit you, you human swizzle stick. 419 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,439 Argh! 420 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,159 One more time, Roly, I swear. 421 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,519 - Or what? - Don't push me today. 422 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,520 I am feeling tender. 423 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,999 I said I was feeling tender! 424 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,240 You're up. 425 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,119 You sure about this? 426 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,440 I can pay in cash. 427 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:33,960 Fine. 428 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,959 Hope she's a keeper. 429 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,719 So do I. 430 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,839 By the way, that Chinese symbol, 431 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,439 that doesn't mean "Beauty". 432 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,200 That means "Disaster". 433 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,599 I should have told her I loved her. 434 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,400 I had loads of opportunities, but I blew it. 435 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,760 The last thing I ever said to her was... "Break a leg." 436 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:13,200 The last word she might ever hear from me is "leg". 437 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,280 It's better than "phlegm". 438 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,799 Yeah. 439 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,959 But what's worse is that I didn't say it to her, because I thought it would be bad luck. 440 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,719 - Bad luck? - Yeah. 441 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,039 It's exactly the sort of thing you say to someone before they die, isn't it? 442 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,320 And I thought if I said it, the gods might laugh at us. 443 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,360 Man of science, eh? 444 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,839 But... 445 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,479 I didn't say it and now she's dying anyway, 446 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,439 so what's the point? 447 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,079 You know what your mum said to me just before she went into surgery? 448 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:53,759 - It's OK, you don't have to... - She said, "If anything happens..." 449 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,999 "tell Roly..." 450 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,440 "I know." 451 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,400 Cheers. 452 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:12,559 I like you, Bruce. You're a good guy. You made Sam happy. 453 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,239 - Made? - Make. Make Sam happy. Don't know why I said that. 454 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,959 I just don't know what I'd do without her. 455 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,999 Veronica's great, but... 456 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,199 Sam is... the mother of my child. 457 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,599 Oh, no. Yeah, obviously. 458 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,599 - Love of my life. - Well, love of... my life. 459 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,600 Oh, yeah. Obviously. 460 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,119 Oh, no. 461 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:37,799 Are you about to ugly cry? 462 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,079 No! 463 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,479 No. I'm a bloody rock. 464 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,799 You know you could have just told me about the tattoo. 465 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,479 I wanted something for myself. 466 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,640 You know, take control. 467 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,199 And, plus, you're shit at keeping secrets. 468 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,800 Fair point. 469 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,679 Look, I'm sorry. I know you're going through a hard time at the moment. 470 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:17,119 And I just let my feelings get away from me. 471 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,199 It's OK. 472 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,239 But if you're not OK, that's OK, too. 473 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,639 I'm not OK. 474 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,160 I'm really not OK. 475 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,639 - What are you doing? - Praying. 476 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,720 You know... Just in case. 477 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:46,479 - Sorry, am I interrupting? - No. 478 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,160 Um... We were just... 479 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,599 - Er, have you got any news? - Yes. 480 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,840 She's in recovery and you can see her soon. 481 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,600 - Hi, Anna. - Fuck off, James. 482 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,040 There you go. 483 00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:11,400 If you're going to try one, I'd prefer it to be one of mine. 484 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,000 Maybe another time. 485 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:19,960 Yeah. 486 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,359 Melodie. Oh. 487 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:32,640 - Non capisco. - Sorry, I thought... 488 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,040 Never mind. 489 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,239 How are you feeling? 490 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,879 Oh, like I've been felt up by Edward Scissorhands. 491 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,239 You gave us quite a scare. 492 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,999 Mum... 493 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,839 I love you. 494 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,359 I love you, too. 495 00:26:56,360 --> 00:27:00,239 - Are you hungry? - What do you think? I've been fasting for 18 hours. 496 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,879 There's a vending machine. How about your favourite? Dairy Milk. 497 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,039 - Since when are they my favourite? - How about Maltesers? - Nah, not in the mood. 498 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,079 - Wotsits. - Only taste good when you're high. 499 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,599 - Crunchie! - Bingo. 500 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,399 Roly, what happened to your wrist? 501 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,280 Oh, he tried cutting himself... 502 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,959 Please tell me that's a stick-on. 503 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,679 You're underage, how did you even...? 504 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,719 - I got a fake - ID. You are in so much trouble, young man. 505 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,119 And what was wrong with my whole name? 506 00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:28,519 Are you joking? It's right on the bone. 507 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,479 I passed out halfway through and they had to stop. 508 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,679 - That's why it's off-centre. - That'll drive you crazy for the rest of your life. 509 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,719 I'll get it finished when Mum gets the all clear. 510 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,679 No. No more tattoos. Was this your idea, Andy? 511 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:42,159 I wish. This little scamp was irresponsible all by himself. 512 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,079 - Uncle Andy, you've had tattoos before... - Yeah. 513 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,639 ...does this look infected? 514 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:47,759 Shit. 515 00:28:15,195 --> 00:28:18,039 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.MY-SUBS.com 41674

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.