All language subtitles for Riverboat S01E04 Race to Cincinnati

That's the last of the wood, Gray.

We can shove off as soon as
I get to the pilot house.

Well, enough to it, boy. We got 72 hours.

Natchez, then New Orleans, and a
cinch New Orleans won't come to us.

Stand by, aft lines! Oh, Captain,
wait. I'm coming to Natchez with you.

You better step
lightly then, miss. Come on.

We're behind schedule now. All
right, Ben, give her a blast.

You all right, miss?

I was until some nitwit blew that whistle.

There are 300 pounds of
important freight on that wagon.

I'll have to ask you to
send someone after me.

Oh, I'm sorry, miss.

Much as I'd like to oblige, we'll be
pulling out of here in one minute.

Not without me, you're not.

Unless you want to throw
me off this gangplank.

It won't take much to tempt me, miss.

You better be careful, Captain,

if you expect to be doing business
with some real southern gentlemen.

Why, that's blackmail!

You call it what you like,
Captain, but you go catch my team,

or you just may not sail at all.

Fast!

Logs? Miss Jenkins, is
this your idea of a joke

delaying us an hour for a bunch of logs?

Captain, if you'd take a
closer look, you'd notice

that those weren't mere
logs. Those are beehives.

Bees?

On my boat?

What are you trying to do, create a panic?

Oh, the bees remain quiet, Donald,
as long as they're handled correctly.

Well, they'd better be, or
they'll go over the side.

Holding up 50 people and 100 tons of
cargo, just because you've got a sweet tooth.

Oh, well, I'll admit the European
black bee produces delicious honey.

But their real value is
in cross-pollination.

This lot should increase the yield of our
orchards two, three hundred percent. Hmm.

Oh, bully for the
Europeans. All right, Travis,

there's no more room for this in the
hole. You better stall in the engine room.

Oh, wait, wait.

Engine room?

You know, in all that
noise and heat and vibration?

Oh, I'm sorry, Captain.
I can't let you do that.

Oh, well, how are you going to
stop me this time? More blackmail?

If necessary, yes.

Well, suit yourself.

But the next time you climb up on
that gangplank, just remember one thing.

The other end will be dragging in the
Mississippi. In the engine room, Travis!

Oh, mate.

Yes, ma'am.

I wonder if you could help me.

Oh, yes, ma'am.

I seem to have plenty of room in my cabin.

Do you suppose you could arrange to
have my beehives brought up here?

Oh, well, I don't know, ma'am. I'm
afraid you'll have to ask the captain.

Oh, I see.

Well...

Thanks anyway.

And that's what really burns me up.

I wish I'd been going
through this water at full speed.

Broad daylight if it hadn't been for that
Queen Bee and her playmates down there.

How a woman can be that
beautiful and still be so

exasperating, I'll never
know, I'll never know.

Bring vlogs on board.
Even trying to trick my

mate into putting
those bees into her cabin.

Going behind my back,
sweet-talking my mate.

Evening, Miss McCabe.

Evening.

Well, it's kind of chilly to
be sleeping out here on deck.

Might even rain before morning.

It'd have to rain greenbacks
before I could afford a cabin.

You know, I think I could find
quarters for you, if you're not too fussy.

Captain, on a night like this,

you'd be surprised how many little
inconveniences I'd be willing to overlook.

Yes?

Good evening. Captain.

Well, just checking out. It's
part of my job to see that all

the passengers are satisfied
with their accommodations.

Oh, these look very nicely. Thank
you. In fact, I've been thinking.

That is, I certainly don't
need all this space for myself.

And if you have no objections, I'd
like to... Share it with someone?

Well, now, isn't that a coincidence? I
have your new roommate right outside.

My what?

Your new roommate.

Miss Jenkins, Miss McCabe,
Miss McCabe, Miss Jenkins.

How do you do?

I get by.

Well... Thanks, Captain, for everything.

Oh, it was my pleasure. Good
night, ladies. Sleep tight.

That Captain Holden,
he's full of surprises.

Not half as full as he's
going to be in a few minutes.

What's the matter, Captain?

Afraid of the dark?

You look like you've seen a ghost.

Or, should I say, a witch.

Suppose you tell me.

Well, actually, I'm a lot like you.

We're both blunt,
headstrong, and stubborn.

And neither one of us is
afraid to go after what he wants.

Too bad it's not the same thing.

Oh, well.

That still doesn't mean we
have to fight like alley cats.

I mean, if we gave ourselves a chance.

We might even become close friends.

How close?

Ahem.

What am I supposed to do now?
Slap your face and call you a cat?

Is that what you usually
do when you kiss a girl?

No, not usually.

Tell me, what are you trying to prove?

How unimportant our differences are,

they can be swept away by a few
seconds of labelled juxtaposition,

completely devoid of reason or meaning.

You make it sound like a
scientific experiment.

Are all first kisses experimental?

Not that I'm denying a
certain amount of...

Pleasurable stimulus on a
purely impersonal level.

Well, in that case, I
haven't lost the touch.

For the time being, I
think we should talk.

Oh?

About my new roommate.

Oh, about your new roommate.

It's nothing personal, but if you
could find her a private cabin,

I'd be happy to pay for it myself.

Not a chance. We're all filled up.

Oh, there must be
someplace she could sleep.

I need every inch of space I can get.

Yeah, I know, for the bees. You know,

this whole experiment
was just a way of finding

a better beehive now, wasn't it, huh?

Oh, Gray, be reasonable. There's
plenty of room in my cabin. Now,

is it really so much to ask?

Ask? You've never asked me for
anything. You blackmailed your way aboard.

You tried to tell me how to run my boat.

And now you think you can
bribe me with an amateurish kiss?

Thank you, Miss Jenkins. Another
experiment? Amateurish. That was Pearson's point.

Carney, what's going on down there?

We've still got 10 miles to make up.

I've had her wide open
for the past three hours.

What do you expect from
boilers as old as these? More steam.

Blast down the safety valve.

All right, but I'm warning
you, if the whole shebang

blows up in me face, it's your funeral.

Captain Holden, may I
speak to you for a moment?

Well, I thought we covered
everything pretty thoroughly last night.

Well, last night. I
didn't know you were risking

the lives of everyone on board this boat.

Now, can you deny you've
been running at top speed

for hours with the
safety valve locked down?

Well, why should that bother you?

Well, without a way to
draw off the excess steam,

those boulders would blow up any minute.

I'm worried about my bees.

Please, Miss Jenkins, I can assure
you there is nothing to worry about.

I wouldn't be so sure of that.

And for your own sake as much as mine,
get those bees out of the boiler room.

Oh, I intend to.

Oh, well, then what are we arguing about?

Just as soon as we reach Natchez.

Good day, Miss Jenkins.

Boys, I think she's had
about all she can take.

I'm for cutting her
loose. Yes, you're right.

Captain Holden, I'm
warning you for the last time.

You get those bees of
mine up here on deck,

or I won't be
responsible for what happened.

And I'm warning you, as long as I'm
captain of this boat, I'll run it my way.

I've got a deadline to make,

and I intend to meet it with
or without your interference.

Yes, Carney, what is it?

There.

Now that's not very neat, but it'll
take the pain out of those bee stings.

Thank you, ma'am. The ones that got
me must have been half rattlesnake.

Well, it could have been worse.

At least we made matches and
nobody got hurt in the explosion.

Oh, here, let me help you.

Don't you think you've
helped enough already?

Have you any idea how much
it's going to cost to have

this cargo transhipped to
New Orleans at my expense?

Oh, not to mention, of course, the
towing charge and the boiler repairs,

all because of your infernal bees.

And whose brilliant
idea was it to keep them

in the midst of all that noise and heat?

I tried to warn you, but oh, no.

Your male ego wouldn't allow you
to accept advice from a mere woman.

All right, I was wrong. I
admit it. I apologize. All right.

Now, would you do me just one
last favor before you leave?

Why, yes, of course. What?

Stay out of my life
before you make a bigger wreck

out of me than you made
out of the Enterprise!

Well. There you are. It's as good as gold.

What can be made of
solid gold at your prices?

Beggars can't be
choosers, which reminds me.

In case Holden finds himself a
little short, you might remind him.

There'll be six
policemen stationed on board,

just in case he tries to skip out
without paying his bill. Don't worry,

you sniveling miser. You'll get paid.

First thing to tell you, but Gray's
out raising your blood money now.

Well, that's it, folks.

I've got to go back to work.

Well, that was a mighty pretty song.

Sorry to keep you waiting,
gentlemen, but business before pleasure.

Shall we make up for lost time?

Deal them right out, dear.

Full house.

King.

Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure.

It has indeed, Sid.

And all mine. Four deuces.

Oh.

Well, easy come, easy go. Easy come.

Gentlemen, I'm afraid
I'm fresh out of cash.

No need to run on that
account. Your marker's good with us.

Up to a reasonable amount, of course.

Well, would you say $2,000
would be a reasonable amount?

It's your deal, Captain.

No, no, I wasn't
referring to poker, Dubois.

But I'd certainly appreciate that loan.

It'll just about cover the repairs
in the Enterprise. What's so funny?

Grave.

Your $200 is the first hard cash any of
us have seen in months. Please, Costas,

I'm not in the mood for
jokes. It's no joke, Holden.

Time the bo-weevil
finished taking his cotton.

None of us shipped enough cotton to pay
for a first-class dinner in New Orleans.

Matter of fact, the only
planter around here that

showed a profit was that foolish
fruit farmer, Jenkins. Jenkins.

John Jenkins? Yes.

Has a daughter named Ellie? That's right.

I take it you've met the young
lady? Yes, for the last time, I hope.

Well, there must be somebody
else in that jizz who has $2,000.

Well, there's always Amos Wheelwright, if
you don't mind paying 60% interest. Oh,

no, Gray. Now, now,
don't say no too fast now.

It just might be worth it to stay
away from Mellie Jenkins and her father.

Just where do I find this aimless wheel?

What kind of a game are you running here?
I saw you sneak that card from the bottom.

That's a lie. I never dealt a crooked
game in my life. I know what I saw. All right.

Anybody else want to
question the lady's honesty?

Well, then, gentlemen, sit down.

You all right?

Thanks, Captain.

For a minute, I... I don't know
whether you know it or not, Gray,

but you've just saved
yourself 60% interest on $2,000.

What do you mean?

You mean that's... Amos Wheelwright,

the man who was going to keep you
away from Jenkins and his daughter.

What are you doing here?

Well, it was such a lovely day that I
thought I'd ride out and eat a little crow.

Don't you think that's foolhardy, Captain?

After the wreck I made at the Enterprise.

Well, the bull wasn't too badly
hurt, and since it's been fixed,

I've been thinking... That we could
patch up our differences as well.

Well, just how do you
suggest we go about it?

Well...

Until we become really close friends,

I guess we're stuck with the
pleasurable stimulus of labial juxtaposition.

That was on a purely impersonal level.

Oh, sorry.

Well, give me a little time
and I'll get the hang of it.

Ellie!

Daddy! Have you gone stark raven mad?

Can't I turn my back on
you for one minute without

you forgetting
everything I ever taught you?

Daddy, please.

Is this another of your modern notions?

Graphing a flowering
quince to a crabapple tree when

you have a dozen variety
of pear to choose from?

Now I ask you, young man, is
there one eye odor sense in that?

Well, frankly, sir, I'm
partial to Wild Cherry.

Father, this is Captain
Holden of the Enterprise.

He really didn't come to
talk about these experiments.

I gather that you both had your minds on a

different type of
scientific investigation.

Well, I know what you must be
thinking, sir, but you're wrong.

I'm very interested in your experiments.

Oh, now, really? Great. Daddy knows I'm
quite capable of taking care of myself.

You don't have to pretend to him.

But I'm not pretending.
See, I want to talk about

that fruit, sir. That's why I came. What?

But I thought...

You mean, of all the low,
contemptible things... Now, Ellie,

it's not as bad as it sounds.

Now, if you'll just hear me out...

There is nothing you
could say that would have

the remotest interest to me or my father.

Would you let me decide that, young lady?

Daddy! If you would care to go
into the greenhouse with me, sir,

we will not be disturbed. After you, sir.

You will excuse us?

It'll be a good two months before the
apricot or the peach crop ripens up north.

But right here and now, you've got a
hundred tons of fruit you can't even give away.

Now then, what I propose,
sir... Excuse me, Captain.

I think you're standing in a draft.

Well, uh, yes.

I realize, sir, that nothing like
this has ever been tried before. Well,

I imagine a great many
people thought that you were

foolish when you
started grafting your trees.

Oh, they still do, out of
sheer ignorance, understand.

You've no idea how often I've wanted
to wipe the smirk off their faces.

Now that you've enjoyed your little game,

maybe you'll tell me what steam you
two have been cooking up together.

Why, certainly, my dear,
now that it's all settled,

I have hired Captain Holden to ship
a cargo of our fruit to Cincinnati.

What are you saying?

Well, that'll take four
weeks on the enterprise.

The fruit will be
nothing but garbage by then.

Well, even if that were so,

is it any worse than letting it rot in
our orchards the way we do every year?

That all depends.

Just what do you expect
to get out of all this?

Well, eventually your eternal
gratitude right now, the $2,000.

Oh, only two.

Why didn't you ask for ten with the
plantation thrown in on the side?

I'm sorry, Daddy, but I
can't stand by and see

you victimized by this
fly-by-night swindler.

For your information, my
dear, this swindler...

As an idea that may make you the
wealthiest ingrate in Mississippi,

and whether you like it or not, I'm
going to give him every opportunity to try.

After you, sir.

You've had a busy day,
haven't you, Captain?

Good evening.

Well, you're early. I didn't expect you
or your cargo until tomorrow morning.

I couldn't wait to congratulate you.

Oh?

In six hours, you've not only paid your
repair bill and arranged for a cargo,

but you've also managed to push my
father to the brink of bankruptcy.

You know, I suppose I should
be used to it by this time,

but you still don't
make one iota of sense.

You weren't satisfied to fill his head
with impossible reams of fabulous profits.

You had to convince him that this silly
scheme of yours was his golden opportunity

to turn the tables on everyone
who's been ridiculing him for years.

Well, what if I did? It's the truth.

For your information, he just
drew every cent we've ever owned

from the bank to make down
payments on the Carstairs,

the Dubois, the Richardson
plantations, to turn them into fruit farms,

to make even more profit.

Oh, no, you can't be serious.

No?

With a cotton crop so poor,

they were just delighted
to have him have their

properties at ten cents on the dollar.

Well, if that's the case, then
what are you so upset about?

Because it was a trick.

Now he's got to pay back the whole
amount in 60 days or forfeit the deposit.

And all because you needed
a boiler for this scowl.

Now just a minute.

You think that I
cooked up this whole scheme

just as an idea to get
myself off the hook?

All I know is you needed
$2,000 and now you've got it.

I've also got a cargo for Cincinnati.

You can rant and rave every mile
of the way there for all I care,

because whether you think it or
not, I'm gonna get it there on time.

I hope so, Captain.

But I'd be a lot more confident if you
hadn't said the same thing last time. No.

Right before the boiler blew up.

Come on, man. Come on.
All right, man. Hurry up.

Let's go. Get these
peaches out of here. Come on.

Get the ice out of here before it melts.

So that's what made Jenkins so
sure he could raise the money.

Holden's turning the
enterprise into a floating icebox.

And they're both crazy.

The idea had been in the goods
of somebody who used it long ago.

It's probably what they said about
Fulton before he invented the steamboat.

No, I've seen that peat moss stunt
before. You spread it on, wet it down.

That makes the ice last twice as long.

You'd better be wrong, Carstairs,

considering you're the one who
offered the old fool our land for a song.

If that fruit ever reaches
Cincinnati, we lose everything.

That's a mighty big if, gentlemen.

I've been thinking.

The Mississippi can be pretty
tricky at this time of year.

A good pilot could deliberately run a
boat aground, and nobody could prove a thing.

You're barking up the wrong tree.

Ben Frazier owns a
piece of the Enterprise.

He's not about to scuttle it for anybody.

In that case, we'll just
have to make sure that Mr.

Ben Frazier isn't around here at all
when the Enterprise starts upriver.

When is he coming? We were
ready to leave two hours ago.

Yes, I know that. We'll just have to
make up the time when we're underway.

When? Tonight? Tomorrow? Next week?

I don't care if it takes till next
Christmas. We cannot fail without a pilot.

But you've got a qualified man
aboard, the mate, Mr. Travis.

He used to relieve Ben
at the wheel regularly.

No, no, no, only in
the safe stretches. No,

he's never handled a boat in
tricky water. It'd be too risky.

Well, what are we going to do then?
Sit around here twiddling our thumbs,

listening to that ice drip?

I'm gonna give you exactly ten minutes.

And if Ben isn't here by then, we
just have to carry on with Mr. Travis.

I'm not gonna run out on Ben!

You don't have any choice.

When we chartered the Enterprise, you
bound yourself legally to carry out my orders.

Oh, no.

Boy, that's Melissa.

Melissa!

Ben's been sandbagged.

Sandbagged? By who?

Dubois. But Carstairs and
Richardson are in on it, too.

They're holding him in a room up above
the Lucky Catfish till you pull out.

Why, of course. If we get your
father's fruit to Cincinnati on time,

they'll be wiped out. How
many men are holding Ben?

Only one at the door. But
there are plenty more downstairs

in the saloon where they
can keep an eye on him.

Is there any way I can
sneak into the Lucky Catfish?

Well, my room faces on an alley.

Maybe I could lift on a rope or
something for you from my window.

Come on, let's go.

Wait, you can't go all alone.

Oh, sorry, Miss Jenkins, you'd
just be excess baggage. Yeah!

20 feet across an open
balcony before I even jump

the guy. If anybody
looks up, we're in trouble.

Wait till I'm through with my number.

If I haven't got Morgan and everybody
else on this side bug-eyed by then,

I'm in the wrong business.

Hit it, Professor.
Let's have a little music.

Walking by the river with me,
walking by the river, oh gee,

walking by the river can be fun if
you do it, do it with the right one.

Sittin' in the moonlight, a she.
Sittin' in the moonlight, a he.

Sittin' in the moonlight is such fun
if you do it, do it with the right one.

I think I'm gonna like this tub.

You one of the new girls for the show?

Well, that's part of my job.

I wonder if I could borrow your chair.

No, ma'am.

I've got to get this
hemline straight before I go on.

Here. I'll hold it down,
and you pin it in place.

Well, it'll be a
pleasure, ma'am. Right there?

There.

Oh, it's still crooked.

Walking by the river.

Jokes, I could do this all day.

Walking by the river can be fun if
you do it, do it with the right one.

I'm just making sure you didn't
botch the job as usual. Look!

Sitting in the moonlight is such fun
if you do it, do it with the right one.

The moon on high is saying, why be
shy tonight, tonight to have a laugh?

Why be shy? I think we ought to try.

How did you ever get
into a mess like this?

Where are you from?

What? Here.

Figaro.

Some kid told me you were in trouble.

What? He was, too, by taking his advice
and letting Bungle the job on his own.

If either of you sailors can tie a knot,

these will be strong enough to lower
the excess baggage out of the window,

and we can all get started for Cincinnati.

The oldest trick in the
book, and you fell for it.

How do I know it was the Jenkins girl?

I never saw her before in my life,
which is more than any of you can say.

And she had to pass right under
your noses to get here. All right,

so she fooled all of us. Arguing about
it isn't going to stop the enterprise.

If that chance we have of that,
we can never catch up with him.

Then suppose we let him catch up with us.

What do you mean?

He isn't going to go
very far without refueling.

Jethro's Point.

Yeah, that's it.

He'll have to stop there, and it's
two days till the next wood stop.

Jethro's Point is 200
miles away. Only for Holden.

He'll have to follow every
twist and turn of the river.

But we can cut across country,
pick up fresh horses along the way,

and cut our travel time by a third.

And if we do beat him there, then
what? Suppose you let me handle that.

But I can promise you one thing.

Before we're finished with Holden,
he'll be through on this river for keeps.

Go on, talk to him. Go on,
get in there, talk to him.

It's kind of closed, wasn't it, Skipper?

I've never seen so much junk
floating down the channel.

Must have had a humdinger
of a blow-up river, huh?

Uh-huh. And normal this time of year.
This fog didn't help much either. You know,

one of those logs could
ram a hole right through

our bottom before we even spotted it.

Uh-huh.

Look, if you ask me, we're
foolish to take a chance like this.

We could just as easily
lay over till tomorrow.

Why don't we... Why, isn't it about time
that you were really bent at the wheel?

Yes, sir.

Just forget I said anything.

Any luck?

It's like beating my
head against a brick wall.

It acts like he's
deliberately trying to wreck the boat.

One more like that, and
there won't be any boat

left to wreck. All
right, you beavers, come on.

Oh, that infernal fog. How
long do you think it'll last?

It's hard to say. It could
go away in a couple minutes,

but more than likely
it'll hang on until sunup.

But that's not for eight or nine hours.

Well, doesn't Captain Holden
realize we can hardly see beyond the bow?

Well, I guess he figures
that's my worry, ma'am.

But with those river packets coming
downstream, we could crash head on, couldn't we?

Afraid so, ma'am.

Not a good riverboat's been
lost in this kind of weather.

Oh.

Oh, I see. I see.

I thought you might like
this since you missed dinner.

Well, thank you very much.
You shouldn't have bothered.

Oh, no bother, really.

Are you trembling?

Are you nervous?

Oh, no, no.

Oh, no, no. I'm just a little chilly. Oh!

I am on edge.

But can you blame me? I mean,

with those logs or trees or whatever they
are crashing into the hollow all night.

What if one of them ever hit her squarely?

Well, offhand, I'd say that
every catfish between here

and Natchez will be
breakfasting off of fresh fruit.

If you know it's this dangerous,
why are we going on like this?

Now, now, now, Miss Jenkins, please,
as you yourself so succinctly put it,

I have no choice. You
see, under our charter,

I'm legally bound to
carry out your orders,

and those orders were to get this
fruit to Cincinnati as fast as possible.

How would you suppose you can do that
if this boat goes to the bottom? I mean,

if you had an ounce of common sense,
you'd have tied up along that bank long ago.

Oh, now, is that merely an opinion?

It's an order.

You get this boat out of
that channel this minute.

Well, since you put it that way, far be
it from me to ignore my legal obligations.

Ma'am?

Morning, ma'am.

Captain Holden.

I want to talk to you.

Well, good morning, Miss
Jenkins. I trust you slept well.

Never mind that. When did the fog lift?

Fog?

Oh, that, oh, about half an
hour ago after sunrise, excuse me.

Half an hour?

Well, why aren't we moving?

Well, you told me to tie up.

Well, that was last night, I mean, I
didn't... Well, now, orders are orders.

Now, according to my legal obligations...

If you say anything more about
legal obligations, I'll scream. Now,

will you stop wasting time and get this
boat underway, or shall I do it for you?

Now, Miss Jenkins, please.
Let's try, at least try,

to preserve the fiction that I'm
still master of the Enterprise.

Clara!

Untie the lines, please. Yes, Captain.

All right, you men, untie the
lines. Get on those airplanes,

and somebody stand by on the
forward lines. Move, hop it now.

Soon she starts rolling. OK, Captain.

High speed.

Great, she's not moving.

What's the matter now?

What's the matter now, Carney?

Search me. The drive shaft is stuck.
Maybe we'd rather take a look around.

I'm in command here, Mr. Carney. Blast
the loose. Give me everything you got.

Hang on to your hats, Skipper.

The dry shaft is broken.

It'll take us all morning.

Looks like we beat them to it.

Yeah, they ought to be pulling in
for wood soon. Let's get to work.

Yes, sir, that's very
good, Corny, very good.

That ought to see us all the
way to Cincinnati. Yes, sir.

We don't have to rip it out
first to feed the furnaces.

We've only got enough wood
left for another hour or two.

Well, if that's all you're
worrying about, forget it.

We'll be picking up another load of wood
at Jethro's Point in about 30 minutes.

Good job.

Must you be so clumsy?

You're lucky I'm not wringing your neck.

Whatever gave you the idea that you
could turn my boat into a fruit bowl?

I'm merely trying to get them
to Cincinnati without spoiling.

You know how delicate they are.

Why, just lying still in the basket
with their own wick and starting rotting.

So I thought if I could fix them so they
wouldn't hit anything, I'd preserve them.

How very ingenious.

It so happens that we've got
a couple of tons of ice and

peat moss aboard to
protect your precious peaches.

How long do you think that's going
to last at the rate you're going?

It's been nothing but
one ridiculous delay after

another ever since we finished loading.

Five hours. Five hours to
repair that drive shaft.

That wouldn't have been necessary if
you hadn't ordered us to lay over.

That's when the paddle
wheel got fouled up.

Oh, that's not the point.

Anybody else would have stopped to
see what was causing the trouble,

but not the masterful
Captain Holden, though.

I'm in command here, Mr. Carney.
Blast the noose of all the overbearing,

incompetent bunglers I've ever met.

Are you two hotheads still at it?

I know you're both stubborn as mules,

but couldn't you manage to
stay hitched to the same end

of the wagon at least
until we got to Cincinnati?

I'm sorry, Daddy, but I'm perfectly
satisfied the way things stand right now.

Well, I am not.

Now, Ellie, I've never
interfered in your life before.

But I'd be a very poor father if I
stood by and let you throw it away.

I haven't the slightest idea
what you're talking about.

Well, then you're the
only one here who doesn't.

Why, it's written all over you. Even a
blind man could see you're in love with him.

Can I tell you why?

Because he is the first man
you've met with the brains

and backbone to make you
toe the mark and like it.

I'd like to see him try.

Well, now, that's the first
sensible thing you've said all day.

And you're not much better. Who, me?

If you weren't so pig-headed, you'd
have proposed to her a long time ago.

Me? Get married?

Well, why not? You've got
to take the plunge someday.

Well, probably so, but not to a
pig-headed, stubborn red-haired... Well, now,

just what kind of a woman do you
think would be fit for a man like you?

Some docile little thing with no mind of
her own who just let you walk all over.

Yeah, well, that'd be better
than somebody who'd try to

lead me around with a
wedding ring through my nose.

Don't flatter yourself. I
wouldn't have you on a silver platter.

And I wouldn't have you
on... It's an emergency alarm.

Captain, there's a big column of smoke
rising a couple miles around the next bend.

A couple miles around
the next bend? That would

put it near Jethro's
point. That's Woodstock!

What do you think it was,
gray Indians? I don't know.

We haven't got time to find out.

There's plenty of wood up
on the hill. It's green,

but we've got enough lard aboard to make
it burn until we hit the next wood stop.

Then you have all hands break out,
the hacks and start chopping. Connie,

you stay on board. Keep
up ahead of steam. When we

get the wood bins filled
up, we'll take right off.

All right, sir. You.

Very good, Captain. I think
you've got everything well in hand.

But I think I will go back
and hang some old peaches.

You get up all day and get an axe
in your hand! Move, you muggers!

Hey, Ben, give me a hand with these
things. They're not gonna walk to the boat.

Take over the mooring lines and the
boiler room. Morgan, you take the pilot house.

Going somewhere, Miss Jenkins?

All right, get us started.
We're going to take a little trip.

You won't get very far in a car to wood.

We don't intend to. Get going.

Benji's pulling out!

We're moving!

That's right, Miss Jenkins,
straight towards the nearest sandbox.

Dubois, watch out! It's Holden and Frazer!

Come on.

Well, somebody had to do it to keep us
from running onto that sandbar. Ellie!

Darling! We beat him! We did it!

Hey, do you realize something?

Well, this is the first
time we've ever kissed without

turning it into a scientific experiment.

I've never seen anything like it.

Look, look at this.

Oh, those produce dealers know
what they were doing, all right.

Fresh peaches in weather like this, huh?

Oh, they'll make tidy profit despite
the 15,000 they're going to pay you.

Ah, but the important thing is
that you proved it could be done.

Now, we'll ship twice as many next season,

and then we'll double and
we'll double until we've

made Natchez the peach
capital of the South.

Sounds like you don't intend to waste much

time taking over the Carstairs Plantation.

Oh, it's a fine house, rich land.

I don't know a better place
for a man to grow healthy crops.

Of grandchildren.

Daddy.

Oh, well, now, darling, it's a
scientific fact. Now, when you two get married,

you're arguing all the time.

Yes, sir, there's nothing like
a house full of kids to keep

a woman from being
lonesome when her husband's away.

Oh?

And where is my husband going to be?

Oh, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, north
along the Arkansas to Shoshone country.

You see, in my business, you have
to go where the cargo takes you.

I could be gone months at a time.

Oh, you can't be serious.

I mean, that's a fine life for
a bachelor, but a family man...

No, Gray, I'm afraid you'll just
have to give up the enterprise.

Me, give up the enterprise?

All right, and then what?

I'll retire on my wife's plantation
and live off her father's charity.

Oh, now you're being ridiculous.

We'll find something for you to do.

Well, like what, for example?

Well, nothing except you don't
need a husband for that job.

As a matter of fact, the
more I think about it,

you don't really need a husband at all.

I think you'd be much
happier with a European bumblebee.

A fool, the
insufferable, unreasonable fool!

Ellie! You got your whole
married life to argue in.

Won't you wait for the
ceremony at least? Ellie!

Oh! Gray! Gray, don't give up so easily!

Oh, I could have had such
beautiful grandchildren.

Oh, me.