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1
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,280
Surprise!
2
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,000
Oh, my God!
3
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,080
Dan, there must be like thousands...
4
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,640
4,500 to be precise.
5
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,040
4,500?
6
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,880
This is too much. I mean...
7
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I can't accept this.
8
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,000
Are you sure? Jesus, thanks.
9
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,840
You're not keeping it, Donna. What?
10
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:57,280
I'm not giving it to you.
I just want to have sex on it.
11
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,880
On the money? Yes.
12
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:06,240
So like role play?
Yeah, sex on money.
13
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,960
So, like fantasy?
14
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:13,400
Yeah, sex on money. OK.
15
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,160
What and then I get it?
16
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,600
HE GROANS
17
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,720
TELEVISION
18
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,480
Can you pop out and get us a beer?
19
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,560
What?
20
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,280
Beer.
21
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,160
In the fridge.
22
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,600
Have one yourself.
23
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,840
Yeah, of course.
24
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,280
Do you want a sandwich?
25
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,520
TELEVISION: It's
come to that time...
26
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,320
Oh, bacon...please.
27
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,320
Do you know something, Martin?
28
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,160
This is lovely.
29
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:43,480
Oh, yeah. You love it, don't you?
You love my money. Look at it.
30
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,200
Hmm?
31
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,600
Look at my money.
32
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,120
Yeah. Look at my money.
Look at my money.
33
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,520
Look at my money. Look at my money.
Look at my money.
34
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,440
Look at my money, look at my money,
look at my money, look at my money!
35
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,160
Look at my...MONEY!
36
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,640
MUSIC: "Sex On Fire"
by Kings Of Leon
37
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,600
Harder, harder!
38
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,640
Shut your stupid face.
39
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,360
Why you do me like a pansy, boy?
40
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,920
With your spotty ass, you are lucky
I put it in you at all.
41
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,840
You stink. I want to stink.
42
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,560
I love you so much.
43
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,760
I love you too, booby cheeks. Oh!
44
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,120
TELEVISION: Then it was like
bring it on...
45
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,080
What are you doing?
46
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,280
Oh, right, well...
47
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:47,400
I have to meet Karen at 2pm and then we
are going to pick Louise up at the airport.
48
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,040
Gosh, I wonder if she's changed?
49
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:55,440
Six months. I know I have,
I've... I've changed.
50
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:59,440
Well, I've got a fringe now and,
well, it's grown out a bit.
51
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,600
But, yes, that's not till two, so I'll
just potter around here for a while.
52
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,800
Well, I'm going now,
so you've gotta go.
53
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:16,080
But I don't have to meet them for three
hours. I'll have to wait around. OK.
54
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,440
"OK" what? I can hang around here?
No.
55
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,280
No?!
56
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,960
You're saying "no" -
no I can't hang around here?
57
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,000
Donna, get out.
58
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,960
What?
59
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,200
Are you insane
talking to me like that?
60
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,440
You better consider what you
are saying to me, Stephan,
61
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:39,840
otherwise this whole thing is
possibly right in danger
62
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:43,440
of being very, very in jeopardy, OK?
63
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,739
I'll ask you again and I want you to
think carefully before you answer,
64
00:04:47,764 --> 00:04:51,680
can I hang around here before
picking up Louise from the airport?
65
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,160
No. Get out.
66
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,960
Right, right, OK, fine.
67
00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:01,920
I happen to have to go to the
library anyway, or the zoo.
68
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:06,280
I think...yeah, I have to go
to the zoo. So that's fine.
69
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:10,120
But you should really fucking think
about what happened here today.
70
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,560
What the frick time do
you call this? You're late.
71
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,320
Sorry, I was unavoidably delayed.
Do you know
72
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,760
they have got a monkey at the zoo
looks exactly like Jamie Cullum.
73
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,760
He was wanking with his feet.
74
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,640
What is the matter with your face?
Have you been crying?
75
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:29,800
Nothing's the matter.
76
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:33,000
You look like somebody hit you.
I'm not wearing any make-up.
77
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,840
What?
78
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,200
Jesus Christ, Karen.
79
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,280
Martin thinks there is a time and a
place for make-up. I happen to agree.
80
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:45,280
Karen you cannot have a man
tell you not to wear make-up.
81
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:47,160
Women fought for your
right to wear make-up.
82
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,720
You owe to it the suffragettes
to put some foundation on.
83
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:54,600
I don't know, Donna. This thing with
Martin is a whole new way of life.
84
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:58,040
I feel like I have found
the secret to happiness.
85
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:02,520
Make your man happy and subjugate
your every need to his. It's so simple.
86
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,323
Look, I'm not saying we
shouldn't have the vote,
87
00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:08,239
but when you think about
it, I never voted anyway.
88
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,960
Is it a sex thing?
89
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,480
I'm making him a pie tonight.
90
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,680
That reminds me,
I have to get down the butcher -
91
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:14,840
he won't eat fatty mince.
92
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,760
Hi!
93
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,400
Jesus...
What the fuck. Where's your...
94
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,640
Where's your cheeks?
I had amoebic dysentery.
95
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,760
Christ, Louise, how many amoebas
did you eat?
96
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,840
Donna, Karen...
97
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:38,120
I'd like you to meet Greg, my man.
98
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,320
We only met two months
ago, but you know
99
00:06:40,345 --> 00:06:43,199
when you meet that special
someone and you just think,
100
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:48,000
"I'm having that", and he's a laugh.
We laugh a lot, don't we?
101
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,600
We laugh and laugh and laugh.
102
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,720
Well, laughter is the best medicine.
103
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:56,480
He's always coming out with things
like that, he's great, isn't he?
104
00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:00,400
I'm moving in with Greg, into his
flat, isn't that fantastic?
105
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,520
I'll get us a taxi and then we
can all get in and talk more.
106
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,560
Oh, yeah. Isn't he great?
107
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:11,560
He's just lovely.
Let's go now. Now, now! Just go!
108
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:14,440
They're just things.
I can replace things.
109
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,880
Shit! What am I going to do?
110
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,560
I have got to get rid of him.
I'm gonna kill myself.
111
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,640
What was all that stuff
about him being brilliant?
112
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,440
He saved my life...
113
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,120
from a mud slide.
114
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:28,520
Have you ever been hit
by 15,000 cubic tons of mud?
115
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,760
It's not as much fun as it sounds.
116
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,040
He's a hero, I fell in love
with a hero on holiday.
117
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,880
Well, what is the problem?
He is a fucking goon.
118
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,528
You don't notice
when you're abroad.
119
00:07:38,553 --> 00:07:40,800
You're sitting on a beach
watching the sun go down
120
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,880
and he says,
"Life is like an ocean."
121
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,560
You think, "life is like an ocean",
let's have sex.
122
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,320
But life isn't like on an ocean.
How is life like an ocean?
123
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,400
In what way is life like an ocean?
124
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,720
That is not going to work.
Not here, not in England.
125
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,560
Oh, my God, he is coming back.
What am I going to do?
126
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,440
Don't worry, I'll distract him.
Donna you talk to lollipop head.
127
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,400
Listen to me,
you just have to talk to him, OK?
128
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:06,040
You do not have to live with a man
you don't love, unless you have kids.
129
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,080
Or a mortgage,
and you don't have either.
130
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,040
Right, I've got an idea.
131
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,000
Just whatever I say, back me up.
132
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:18,600
Right, I got us a cab.
We can just get in it now.
133
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:23,600
Listen, Donna and Karen have
asked me to move back in with them.
134
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,600
No way are you moving in with us!
Because they really want me to.
135
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,800
No way, forget it.
136
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,960
Did you tell her that?
She can't move in.
137
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,872
It is a match box!
It's fricking tiny!
138
00:08:34,897 --> 00:08:39,800
No fricking way is she fricking moving in.
No way, fricking Jose.
139
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:43,440
Well, that's great,
140
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:51,280
because then me and Greg can move in
together and basically be together forever.
141
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,160
Or until death's release.
142
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,800
Here we are.
143
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:07,080
Cosy, eh? All in one room together.
144
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,160
Is that a single bed?
145
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,120
Snuggly-muggly.
146
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,040
It's got everything we need.
147
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,004
It's like one of those
little sinks at McDonalds -
148
00:09:17,029 --> 00:09:18,959
everything's here, just compact.
149
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,160
Louise, you're going
to love this, look.
150
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,960
You can actually reach the cooker
from in bed. How cool is that?
151
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,800
It is like having a servant.
152
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,400
Let's get a puppy. What?
153
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,120
What sort of colour puppy?
154
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,760
I like brown, they're more loyal.
155
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:44,720
Greg, we can't get a puppy,
that's a big commitment and I mean,
156
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,160
I'm not saying we shouldn't
do committed things,
157
00:09:47,185 --> 00:09:49,399
but what happens if one
of us gets run over?
158
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,120
What's the puppy going to think?
159
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:55,440
It'll be great - you, me, the puppy.
160
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,800
Building a life together.
161
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,240
Just like we planned in the mud.
162
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,720
And who knows?
163
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,680
Maybe one day,
164
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,600
the patter of six little
feet instead of just four.
165
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,120
You want to get a spider?
166
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,640
Nice, nice pie.
167
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,760
It's a little soggy.
168
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:46,240
I'm only telling you this for next time,
'cause I know you like to get it right.
169
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,560
I would say just a little less oil
170
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:53,520
as you are browning off the onions,
reduce the stock just a touch more.
171
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,040
Other than that...
172
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,200
eight out of ten.
173
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:07,120
What? What is it? It's nothing.
174
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,560
Well, it is just...
175
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,920
mustard, there's no mustard.
176
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,840
There's mustard on the table.
177
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,800
It's wholegrain, Karen.
Beef and onion pie needs English.
178
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,440
Well...
179
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,600
I could always pop out and get some.
180
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,400
Yes, I will just pop out.
181
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,960
It does need it. OK, I'll be
back in a minute. Love you, babes.
182
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,120
Right, I'm off out tonight
so you're gonna have to go.
183
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,920
I'm entertaining
these guys from Bahrain.
184
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,920
Stephan, that's not on.
185
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:46,560
I should be coming with you. I'm great
in those sort of situations. I'm an asset.
186
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:49,640
I love Arabs. You want to come?
187
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,480
Only if you want me to,
I'm not forcing you to...
188
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:56,600
Yeah, I would like to come. OK.
189
00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:00,040
OK, Donna. You can come.
190
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,640
Well, great. That's great.
191
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,120
I'm gonna say
you're an escort though.
192
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,400
An escort?
193
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,280
Why are you talking about an escort?
194
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,000
Are you serious?
195
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:21,320
I'm not going to pretend I'm an escort!
Why do I have to pretend I'm an escort?
196
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,160
What, just show up with a girlfriend
I've never mentioned?
197
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,800
These are family people,
family's important to them.
198
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:31,920
But you can turn up with an escort,
that's fine? Yeah, that's fine.
199
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,280
Oh, my God!
200
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,160
That's what it is about, isn't it?
201
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,891
I'm not good enough
to be your girlfriend,
202
00:12:38,916 --> 00:12:42,319
but I'm good enough to be
your high-class prostitute.
203
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,080
Yeah, great, fine...
204
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:48,240
well you can just stick that
right up your big posh arse.
205
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,880
You think I'd do that?
206
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,360
How can you ask me?
207
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:57,040
Well, you know you just piss off
to... Where's it you're going?
208
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,880
Kiki's. Yeah, well you
can just piss off to...
209
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,360
What in Kensington? Yeah.
210
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,200
Where Harry and Wills
are always getting pissed?
211
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,680
Yeah. With the booths where you get
a table? Yeah, with the booths.
212
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,360
And you are paying for all that?
213
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:14,520
Erm, yeah. OK, fine,
I'm coming but you make me sick.
214
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,080
Hey, Karen!
215
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,640
Oh...frick!
216
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,640
I was just...
217
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,520
sorry, I thought, how's it going?
218
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,880
I haven't seen you since...
219
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,680
Christ, Billy,
look at the state of you!
220
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,520
I had some bad news, Karen.
221
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,880
So I have been self-medicating.
222
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,240
What bad news? What bad news?
223
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:57,760
That's what I'm asking you.
224
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,960
We should get together
and have a coffee,
225
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:06,320
Tia Maria or something. Cake.
226
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,240
Billy, what bad news?
227
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,000
Cancer...
228
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,760
Got bowel cancer.
229
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:18,080
I know who'd have thought my liver
would've outlasted my bowel?
230
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,320
Are you serious?
231
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,840
Quite serious, yes.
232
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,760
I'm gonna die.
233
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,840
Christ.
234
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,160
What are you doing like this
when you're ill?!
235
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,119
When they told me,
I thought I could try and do
236
00:14:33,144 --> 00:14:36,344
all the things I never did,
but wanted to, you know?
237
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,680
I made a list.
238
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,520
Sky dive...
239
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,640
...drive a train...
240
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:48,960
...swim with dolphins.
241
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,403
The problem was, the
first thing on the list
242
00:14:53,428 --> 00:14:55,440
was to do a big shitload
of drink and drugs
243
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:59,720
and sort of slowed things down
on the list front.
244
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,400
You serious? You've got cancer?
245
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,960
Yeah.
246
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,760
Sorry.
247
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:18,400
Sorry. Well, I'd better go.
248
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,840
I'm going to leave my number.
249
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,960
Actually, it's not mine, it's Tom's.
250
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:36,400
I don't know Tom, but he's a mate of Darren
and I'm sleeping on Darren's garage.
251
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,840
You look great.
252
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,640
Apart from...
253
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,480
Is that cold now?
254
00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:01,360
It is a bit, love. You can just nuke
that for a couple of minutes.
255
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,440
Then just sit yourself down.
Have a rest.
256
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,320
I just bumped into
an old friend of mine.
257
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,200
An ex-boyfriend actually.
258
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,040
He's got cancer. God.
259
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,760
I know. He's really ill.
260
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:24,480
He's on his own. I can't help
thinking I should go 'round there.
261
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:28,800
No, no, you don't want
to do that, Karen.
262
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:33,680
But he's dying.
Yeah, and that's awful, but...
263
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:37,080
No, don't go round there.
You don't want to upset yourself.
264
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:40,240
I don't know, I'll sleep on it. No.
265
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,000
What?
266
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,120
Ex-boyfriends? Sorry, Karen I'm afraid
this is going to have to be a no.
267
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,480
BLEEPING
268
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,440
I think the food's ready.
269
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:53,040
Yeah...yeah, of course.
270
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,280
Careful, love, that's a bit spicy.
271
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,560
Now what are you doing?
That's too much!
272
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,160
Karen, this is...
273
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:17,080
Oh, I see. Right, well...
That's not very clever, is it?
274
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:22,320
Because you're only ruining your own
work, so who's sorry? Yeah, more.
275
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,880
You're only hurting yourself.
276
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,960
That's it, I'm going down the
pub to get something to eat.
277
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:36,040
You have really disappointed me
today, Karen.
278
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,640
Donna?
279
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,200
What's the problem?
280
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,440
You're really overreacting.
281
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,160
Overreacting?
282
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,280
You had another escort booked.
283
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:54,160
I just spent the entire night in
there with you and another escort.
284
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,960
I was supposed to be
your escort tonight, me.
285
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,520
From an agency.
286
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,400
How many times do I have to say,
I forgot I booked her?
287
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,880
Look. It's a business thing.
288
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,800
It's just about appearances.
289
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,720
Is that why you spent the
entire night cosying up to her?
290
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,360
Donna, I had my arm around you
as much as her.
291
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:18,320
Stephan, I am a catch, OK?
292
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,560
Many, many, many men
have fallen in love with me.
293
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,840
And not just idiots
and losers and Karl,
294
00:18:24,865 --> 00:18:29,505
but other men, real men, men who
fight other men, and have jobs
295
00:18:29,530 --> 00:18:34,360
and I never in all my experience
had to put up with crap like this.
296
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:39,800
Donna, Donna. I'm sorry.
297
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:43,440
I genuinely forgot
that I booked her and...
298
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:48,240
you know... I had no way of
knowing that she was going to be
299
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,200
so much better looking than you.
300
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:57,360
Get a cab. Now!
301
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:03,000
Donna? Oh, God, hello.
What are you doing here?
302
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,120
What am I doing here?
Ask this prick.
303
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:08,040
How many times do I have to tell you
to shut your stupid mouth?!
304
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:12,280
This thing here offers to take me for
a meal for my birthday in Kensington.
305
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,920
What are you talking about?
It's best kebabs in London.
306
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,360
Lily fucking Allen eats here.
307
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,280
Last time I make romantic gesture
for you, you evil midget.
308
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,800
Just get me a chicken shish,
that's all you are good for.
309
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,960
I'm good for busting your face, more
ugly than it is. Give me the money.
310
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,880
You want chilli or not?
Of course I do.
311
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,360
How is it going with Oleg?
312
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,120
Can I be honest with you, Donna?
313
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,480
He makes my pussy whole.
314
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:40,120
He completes me, completes me
sexually and spiritually,
315
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:41,680
we're getting engaged.
316
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:46,320
Donna, I always thought
female ejaculation was a myth,
317
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,120
until last night.
318
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,280
I nearly took his eye out.
We had to go to a hospital.
319
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,040
Great that it's all going so well.
320
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:58,520
How's things going with you? Oh,
great. I've been in there with...
321
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,680
In there with Karl?
Karl's in Italy.
322
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,720
No, he is back.
323
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,440
What?
Haven't you heard? He's come back.
324
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,170
I bumped into Tony, he said
he got back last weekend.
325
00:20:09,195 --> 00:20:11,039
Karl's back?
Yeah, thought you knew.
326
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,047
I thought you'd be
out celebrating,
327
00:20:13,072 --> 00:20:16,584
or messing with each other's heads,
whatever it is you two do.
328
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,200
Donna?
329
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,720
Yeah, no chilli.
330
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,080
I got you a large one, booby cheeks.
331
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,200
Donna, I've got us a cab.
332
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:40,360
Candice is going to
come back with us.
333
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,320
She's paid for. So...
334
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:51,600
Stephan, you are a selfish,
boring, obnoxious, unfunny
335
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,800
dog turd of a man.
336
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:58,871
You smell stale and you have
dust where your soul should be
337
00:20:58,896 --> 00:21:02,304
and for those reasons,
Stephan, I am out.
338
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,880
Oh and by the way,
I'm not really an escort.
339
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,400
I've actually been going out
out with Stephan for two months.
340
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,080
He made me say I was one
to fool you all.
341
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:20,530
As for me, I simply pretended I to be an
escort so I could get into this swanky club
342
00:21:20,555 --> 00:21:25,480
and be bought expensive drinks
all night, free of charge, gratis.
343
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,800
I am no whore.
344
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,920
MUSIC: "Good Fortune"
by PJ Harvey
345
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:49,960
Karen?
346
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,440
HORN BEEPS
347
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,320
Sorry about the mess,
but, you know...
348
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,840
It's a garage. Fuck.
349
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,040
So good to see you. How are you?
I missed you.
350
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,040
You look amazing, are you ill?
351
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:14,360
No, you look great.
352
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:16,240
How did you find me?
353
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,880
Billy!
354
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,200
We met last night. Yeah, I remember.
355
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:24,160
Last night?
356
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:30,160
What's this. Swimming with dolphins,
tomorrow at two.
357
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,880
Drive a train at five.
358
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,880
I couldn't get the sky diving
sorted, but I'm working on it.
359
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,560
These are the things you always
wanted to do, aren't they?
360
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,160
Be there tomorrow at 2pm, or I'll fucking
kill you before the cancer does.
361
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,640
I keep having to come up
with excuses not to have sex.
362
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,520
I'm terrified he is going to
inseminate me.
363
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,440
Last night, I pretended
to be asleep from eight o'clock.
364
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,080
I had to pretend to sleep walk
to the toilet three times.
365
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,120
Maybe I can just tell him
I'm allergic to men's semen.
366
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,950
Louise, you don't have to stay
with a man you don't love,
367
00:23:01,975 --> 00:23:03,559
just because he saved your life.
368
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,760
It's not like he bought you a car
or something.
369
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:09,200
This is terrible,
we're turning into you and Karl.
370
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,160
Me and Karl?
371
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:15,560
What you talking about? Louise, me
and Karl were meant for each other.
372
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,400
We're star-crossed lovers.
373
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,320
He went to Italy
to get away from you.
374
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,880
Yeah, and now he is back.
375
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:25,040
What do you think he is back for?
I don't know.
376
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:29,280
Well, I tell you what, it's not
because I'm allergic to men's semen.
377
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,920
I can't believe you are going
to see him. What about Stephan?
378
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,800
This thing with Stephan,
my behaviour these last few month,
379
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,282
the drinking, all those men,
380
00:23:37,307 --> 00:23:41,200
when I saw that lesbian for two weeks
and the early-bird Spanish course?
381
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,400
It's all because
my soul mate was gone.
382
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,280
I'm a lot deeper than I thought.
383
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,120
Does this make my nipples
stick out enough?
384
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:58,160
Donna. Hey!
385
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,600
How are you?
386
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,640
I'm great. I'm great.
Yeah, I'm great.
387
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,920
I am absolutely great. How are you?
388
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,760
Are you great? Look at you.
389
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,720
You big, fat eye-tie!
390
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,960
Not bad, though, excuse me.
391
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,120
I'm good! Jesus, Donna,
it's fantastic to see you.
392
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:21,240
Is it? It's fantastic to see you,
Italy and everything, you fuck.
393
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:25,120
Look at your tan. I have not a tan,
have I? Yeah, yeah, a little bit
394
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:28,440
bronzed around the back
of the neck and the triangles.
395
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,560
You look fantastic.
396
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,440
Well, come in.
397
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,640
Is your mum not in?
Don't worry, the coast is clear.
398
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,400
So what's going on here?
What is the news?
399
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,240
What hasn't gone on here?
400
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,239
Everything. Karen and I
have moved into a new flat
401
00:24:49,264 --> 00:24:52,119
and things have really
moved on with me as well.
402
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:54,680
Well, I've done things like, erm...
403
00:24:54,680 --> 00:25:00,800
Oh, we got these new hand driers
in work, Dyson, air, that was...
404
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,600
How are you? How was Italy?
405
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,240
All right.
406
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:06,920
All right?
407
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:11,520
Just all right? Well you know, it was
great, it was just harder than I thought.
408
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,640
You know, starting again.
You miss things. Yeah?
409
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:22,720
Yeah. It hasn't been the same
without you here.
410
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,800
There's been more kebabs
to go around for a start.
411
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,440
Look, Karl, I just wanted
to say something.
412
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:36,240
I know we can't just pick up
where we left off... There she is.
413
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,120
Ciao. Ciao...
414
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:43,200
Donna, this is Sabina,
my girlfriend, well, fiance.
415
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,800
That's why I've come back.
We're getting married!
416
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,880
Well, congratulations.
417
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:56,160
That's brilliant.
418
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,640
Oh, that is... brilliant.
419
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,360
Congratulation, you cunts...
420
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:04,429
You lucky cunts. I was just saying,
421
00:26:04,454 --> 00:26:08,519
"I bet he is back marrying
some Italian piece."
422
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,280
Pleased to meet you, I'm Donna.
423
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:14,720
Oh, Donna. Ciao, Donna.
424
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:20,160
Karl tell me so much about you.
I really pleased to see you.
425
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,920
Yeah, I'm really pleased
to see you...here.
426
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,040
She has such a kind face.
427
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,400
Donna, so nice to meet you.
428
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,040
I think we be friends. Ci?
429
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,120
Yeah, I see.
430
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,240
What's she like?
431
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,120
She said, "ciao".
432
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:44,680
How pretentious is that?
433
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,760
Donna, that's how Italians say,
"hello".
434
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,440
Is it?
435
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,720
What a pretentious nation.
436
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:55,840
I tell you what, there's something
going on there. I don't trust her.
437
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,600
She's...friendly. Well, why are you
arranging a night out with them?
438
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,080
Because we're all gonna be friends.
We're all gonna be great friends.
439
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,562
We're gonna go clubbing,
we're gonna hang out,
440
00:27:05,587 --> 00:27:08,520
you me, Karl, what's her name,
thingy head, bring Greg.
441
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,680
We're all gonna be great mates.
442
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,480
I'm simply going back to
plan Stephan. Stephan? But...
443
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,840
Stephan is brilliant, Louise,
and I'm going to marry him.
444
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,200
He might be a twat, but I love him.
Or I might do one day.
445
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,560
Let me tell you something,
life is there for the taking.
446
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,600
So I'm going to grab it by the throat
447
00:27:26,625 --> 00:27:30,000
and pummel it and throttle it
and stick it in the boot of my car
448
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,440
and stab it repeatedly over and
over again until it says sorry.
449
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,280
Oh, there's a toy.
450
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,240
Try and make sure you hold the fin at
the base - That's where it's strongest
451
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,849
and if you do feel him
dipping under at any point
452
00:27:44,874 --> 00:27:47,559
and you're not comfortable
with that, simply let go.
453
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:53,520
Just try and relax because
they're used to this.
454
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:57,440
So relax and let them do all the...
455
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,760
HE GROANS
456
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,520
...work.
457
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,920
One minute. Billy?
458
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,360
Are you off your tits?
459
00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:09,120
No, I just did some mushrooms.
460
00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:13,440
What? You can't swim
with dolphin on mushrooms.
461
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,320
Dolphins on mushrooms.
462
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,720
So this is fulfilling your dreams?
463
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:22,000
Idiot. No, Karen don't go.
464
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,560
I just wanted to be like it was.
465
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,920
Just one day.
466
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,120
You and me.
467
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:37,160
Alcohol, narcotics, the old team.
468
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,120
One last time.
469
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,080
KNOCKING
470
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:46,360
What is it, Greg?
471
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,440
Can I come in? What?
472
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,800
I'm on the toilet.
473
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,520
It's lonely out here.
474
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,000
Meet Koi Jao.
475
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,120
It is Laotian for love.
476
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,800
Oh, Greg.
477
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:16,000
Don't you worry.
We're not going to get run over.
478
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,480
Oh, Louise, look at his little eyes.
479
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,560
He loves you, look?
480
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,360
He loves you so much.
481
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,920
He would die without you.
482
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:34,240
So, basically, I know what it
looks like, I know, I know.
483
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:38,040
But I can assure you...
484
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:43,280
that we have the capacity...
485
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,680
and...got what it takes to do this.
486
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:52,600
Unfortunately, the medication
we are on is quite strong,
487
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:58,400
but my colleague is a doctor and he
will write a note to say it's OK
488
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,640
for me and him
to jump out a plane.
489
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:08,440
All that's important is to see
that little fella's dream come true.
490
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,080
Please.
491
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,640
Please help me make that happen.
492
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,600
Should we eat these
or put them up our bums?
493
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,800
No-one has ever really said no to me.
494
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,920
It was just... wow.
495
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,720
It was like being
struck by lightning.
496
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,400
I think, Donna, I'm falling...
497
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:43,320
What do you think they talk about -
food, football, the Sopranos, what?
498
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,400
Oh, God, that's a language joke.
That can only be a language joke.
499
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,480
She said cheeps instead of chips.
500
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,120
She seems like a lovely person.
501
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:57,240
You only think that because you don't
fully understand what she is saying.
502
00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,960
If you took 40% of what I said away
from me, I would sound great.
503
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:03,200
Any couple can get on well
if they can't communicate.
504
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:04,720
Geez a tenner.
505
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,560
Geez a tenner, Stephan.
506
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,960
Sabina is such a good dancer.
507
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,560
What are you talking about?
Anyone can dance! I can dance.
508
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,560
Dancing's not clever.
Look at her, like a monkey.
509
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,480
Are you jealous of Sabina, Donna?
510
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,920
What?!
511
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:25,560
Oh, my God, now I have heard it all.
512
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,960
Are you insane? Are you mental?
Jealous of Sabina?
513
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,000
That Sabina? Why would I
be jealous of someone
514
00:31:32,025 --> 00:31:35,800
that is feeding off an old
carcass - chicken or something -
515
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,320
that I have threw in the bin
when I have got steak at home.
516
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:39,880
Am I to assume I'm the steak?
517
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,920
Shut up, Stephan, and why are you sitting
so close? What's the matter with you?
518
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,960
I feel like you're breathing my air.
Why don't you just move over there.
519
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,560
Sit there.
No there, there. Stephan...
520
00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:59,880
God, I fucking love and fancy you.
521
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:04,240
Oh, hi, Karl. These are from Sabina.
522
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,440
THEY CHEER
523
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,760
You look great, Sabina.
524
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,680
I love the whole jeans and
T-shirt thing, very chic.
525
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:12,880
Thank you! It's because Donna,
she say this.
526
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:18,600
So kind. It's funny because in
Italy we dress up for night out.
527
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,280
But Donna, she tell me "no".
528
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,800
Sabina, I was just ruminating
to myself
529
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:32,200
about what with the language barrier
and what have you,
530
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:36,280
how you and Karl commune, extrapolate
ideas and so on and such forth.
531
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,080
Excuse me?
532
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:42,440
HE SPEAKS ITALIAN
533
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,000
Ci, ci...
534
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,920
What the fuck are you doing?
535
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,080
I just picked up a few phrases.
536
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,840
You know, we're so crap
at speaking other languages.
537
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:59,600
Yeah, well I can speak French,
because I just wanted a useful language.
538
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,760
SHE SPEAKS FRENCH
539
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,360
Oui.
540
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,800
SHE SPEAKS JUMBLED FRENCH
541
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,280
CONTINUES TO SPEAK JUMBLED FRENCH
542
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:34,480
Sorry, Donna,
my French is a little rusty.
543
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,120
What did you say?
544
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,400
Down in one!
545
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:50,480
Everyone!
546
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,080
I need liquid.
547
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:41,760
Do you want some water?
548
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,200
Don't take the fucking piss, Donna.
549
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,760
What a waste.
550
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:53,400
Is he OK there?
551
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,080
What him? Yeah, he's fine.
552
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,400
He's sleeping on udon noodles.
553
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:02,680
Karen? Can I tell you something?
554
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:10,800
Last night I saw Sabina with another
man and I mean "with", Karen - WITH.
555
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,763
I don't want to jump to
conclusions or put her down,
556
00:35:13,788 --> 00:35:15,720
but she is a cheating
slag, Karen.
557
00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,720
What's the matter with you?
558
00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:22,160
Leave the girl alone for
Christ's sake, let them be happy.
559
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,840
What about what I saw?
I saw something, who was she with?
560
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,200
I don't know.
A friend, an acquaintance.
561
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:32,600
Ask Karl if you're so concerned, or talk
to her, see what she has got to say.
562
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,600
But whatever you do, talk to someone,
because you're doing everyone's head in.
563
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:44,280
You take a long, good look
at yourself, Donna.
564
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,920
You're a mess.
565
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:04,640
Nanna!
566
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:18,960
Where are we going?
567
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,920
It's a surprise. Surprises have to
be surprising, that's the surprise.
568
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,120
Look, Greg, I've been thinking.
569
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:26,840
Yeah, me too.
570
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,680
About how lucky I am.
571
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:32,040
What we went through in the mud,
those moments,
572
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,400
well, they were just moments
and this is our life.
573
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,240
And there are some things
we really need to face.
574
00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:41,360
Balloon! Greg, are you OK?
You're shouting balloon at me.
575
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,200
Balloon, Louise, balloon.
576
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:55,960
So pleased to get your call,
so nice you ask me for coffee.
577
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,680
Sorry?
578
00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:59,520
Is there something wrong?
579
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,280
Well, I hope not.
580
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,920
Sabina...
581
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,080
I've known Karl for a long time.
582
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,600
We have a bond and I don't want you
to think that I'm going to use
583
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:15,160
my influence with Karl against you,
that is not what this is about.
584
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,000
But I'm going need some answers.
585
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,760
I don't understand.
586
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:25,880
Sabina, last night
I saw you with another man.
587
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,480
Don't try and deny it.
588
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,520
I know what I saw, by the toilets.
589
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,680
You gave him your phone number
and you kissed him with your lips.
590
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,400
SHE LAUGHS
591
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,680
Sorry, Donna - I no laugh at you.
592
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,320
Donna, me and Karl, we have a...
593
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:49,200
...open relationship. What?
594
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,800
We have open relationship.
595
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,440
You say it this way?
596
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:57,560
We see other peoples.
597
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,960
What, Karl?!
598
00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:02,560
You see other peoples with Karl?
599
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,200
Ci. You don't do this?
600
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,880
What? No. Hang on - open...
601
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,600
Do you even know what that means?
602
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,440
Ci, we fuck with other people.
603
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:20,720
So you... with other men
and he does his on top?
604
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,120
He wouldn't even watch porn with me.
605
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:28,280
Donna,
I want to ask you something now -
606
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,280
do you want fuck Karl?
607
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,880
No!
608
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:37,360
Jesus. What? Because sometimes,
I think you're jealous.
609
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,040
That you still want to be with Karl.
610
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,760
No, what are you talking about?
611
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,960
Because I am with Karl now.
612
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,600
You understand?
613
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,560
It was your boyfriend.
614
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:56,240
Now he's my boyfriend, not yours.
Yes, I know. Good.
615
00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:58,760
Good. Because I don't want to...
616
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:06,600
Make Karl cut you out of his life and
for your friendship to be dead, OK?
617
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,400
Because I will, if I have to.
618
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:16,640
Oh, and me and Karl have
open relationship,
619
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,200
but it's not open to you.
620
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,960
You cannot fuck my boyfriend.
621
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:27,120
Never. Never, ever.
622
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,840
Is clear, ci?
623
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,680
Ci.
624
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,440
Louise?
625
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:47,720
Greg, I know this probably isn't
the best place, but I really have to.
626
00:39:47,720 --> 00:39:51,960
Oh, shit! Being in this balloon
reminds me how my heart
627
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:55,760
soars every day when
I see you and I just know...
628
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,360
Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ-y God!
629
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:01,320
...that there's no other person on
this planet I want to be with.
630
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,800
France! Greg, you can see France.
631
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,840
No, I don't want to interrupt, but
you're missing it. You really can see.
632
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:13,320
Oh, fuck! You are my heart,
my soul and my life.
633
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,160
Louise...
634
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:16,800
will you marry me?
635
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,360
No.
636
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,720
Will you marry me?
637
00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:26,560
No.
638
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:31,960
I... I don't...
I can't, Greg. Sorry.
639
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,840
I don't like you.
Sorry, that sounds bad.
640
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:36,640
I mean, I don't love you.
641
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,160
I'm really, really sorry.
642
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,120
I did like you. But now I don't.
643
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:41,960
So how could I marry you?
644
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,360
It's not you, Greg.
645
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,800
It's your voice and the things that
come out of your mouth. Oh, shit.
646
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:49,400
This isn't how I planned this.
647
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,000
And I'm sure this isn't
how you planned this.
648
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,440
I don't love you, Greg. I'm sorry.
649
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:56,160
I don't want to be with you.
650
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,120
Oh... Oh, right.
651
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,280
Um...
652
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,200
Right.
653
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,520
Eh...
654
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:15,920
Greg...
655
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:17,480
What?
656
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,480
Oh, yeah.
657
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,440
Hang on.
658
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,760
Greg!
659
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,680
SHE SIGHS
660
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:44,240
I can't fucking stand this shit.
661
00:41:52,240 --> 00:41:55,200
God...
I mean, what a thing to happen.
662
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,000
A young life just snuffed out.
663
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,240
Well, not snuffed, dropped.
664
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:03,520
A young life just
dropped out of a balloon like that.
665
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,480
Makes you think, doesn't it?
666
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,120
Well, let's see
what the doctors say.
667
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,440
There's... There's still a chance.
668
00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:18,880
Look, Stephan, I've been thinking.
Life is short,
669
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,620
and it's easy to
see at this stage
670
00:42:20,645 --> 00:42:23,520
that things probably aren't
going to get any better for me.
671
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,492
I've thought about you and
the kind of person you are,
672
00:42:26,517 --> 00:42:28,600
and the good thing
about you is, well,
673
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:32,240
you're a man and
I think what I'm trying to say is...
674
00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:36,440
yes,
let's legitimise this partnership.
675
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,320
With the appropriate paperwork.
676
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,480
Are you proposing...
677
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:44,680
outside intensive care?
678
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,160
Yes, I am.
679
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,760
Let's get...fucking married.
680
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,560
Oh, well. What? Nothing.
681
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,160
He's in a coma.
682
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,640
They don't think he'll wake up.
683
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:16,080
Have they tried...?
Oh, no, they probably have.
684
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:20,040
Listen,
can I get you a coffee or something?
685
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,880
Can I have a tea, please? Sure.
686
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,520
How about you,
Mrs Willoughby-Cl...?
687
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,280
Fuck off, Stephan!
688
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,960
SHE SNIVELS
689
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,680
Karen, are you all right? I didn't
think you knew him that well.
690
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,320
It's not him, twat, it's you.
691
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:53,120
I keep on seeing you in there,
Billy,
692
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:57,440
with tubes and wires and things,
dying.
693
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:00,920
Me? Oh, right, yeah.
694
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:03,880
I can't bear it.
SHE SOBS
695
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:05,920
Well...
696
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,120
...what if I was to tell you that...
697
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:12,800
it's cleared up?
698
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:17,360
Your cancer's cleared up? Yeah.
699
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:21,280
Yeah. The doctors...
Well, not the doctors, but you know,
700
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:25,800
I don't have...any more, no cancer.
701
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,960
Your cancer's gone?
702
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,600
Gone. Isn't that great?
703
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,480
Right... Look...
704
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:40,680
I'm gonna be honest with you.
I did have cancer. But not...
705
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:44,360
really cancer. It was more of a mole.
706
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,120
You know when you get a benign...?
707
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:48,920
It's benign so don't worry.
708
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:53,560
You know when you get a mole? When
did you find out it wasn't cancer?
709
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,680
About two...
710
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:58,360
or three years ago.
711
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,200
You said you wanted to be with me.
712
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,569
I didn't even remember
saying anything to you
713
00:45:05,594 --> 00:45:08,239
and I thought you know, I
could say, "No, I'm fine,"
714
00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:11,037
and watch you walk away
forever, or I could say
715
00:45:11,062 --> 00:45:13,599
something that would
make you want to stay.
716
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,240
Are you angry?
717
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,240
He's just lying there.
718
00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:22,120
I mean, he's not moving, Donna.
719
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:26,423
He's not moving, he's not talking,
he's not twitching or scratching.
720
00:45:26,448 --> 00:45:27,920
He's not even thinking.
721
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:33,080
This is a terrible, terrible thing, but you
must not beat yourself up like you...
722
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,720
I sort of like it.
I mean, it's so calm in here.
723
00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:39,880
It's like the Greg I
fell in love with. Is that wrong?
724
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:41,960
Yes!
725
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:44,000
It is. It's VERY wrong.
726
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,680
I'm not leaving him, Donna.
727
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,720
What are you talking about?
728
00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:50,680
I owe it to him.
And OK, it's not ideal,
729
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,000
but let's give it a chance, I say.
Louise...
730
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,448
You've got to understand.
731
00:45:54,473 --> 00:45:58,559
It's like when we were together in
the mud, but the other way around.
732
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:02,022
I can repay the favour, I can
keep his head above the water,
733
00:46:02,047 --> 00:46:04,520
or at least wipe the
spittle off his chops.
734
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:09,200
Louise, I think this is shock. You
need to go home, take some time...
735
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,400
No, I'm not going anywhere.
736
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,640
I'm staying with my man -
737
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,760
THE man.
738
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,240
The man in a fucking coma!
739
00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:20,560
No-one's perfect, Donna.
740
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:29,920
We off, then?
741
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,800
DOORBELL RINGS
742
00:46:35,240 --> 00:46:37,080
Oh, hi, Donna.
743
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:40,880
How was the hospital?
Oh, you know, tough.
744
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:45,280
But he doesn't seem to be suffering.
And if he is, he's keeping it quiet.
745
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:49,760
Look, Karl, all of this
has just made me think
746
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:54,960
about you and me and the way I've been
behaving and I just wanted to say...
747
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,320
Look, I just wanted to
say t-t-that I'm really
748
00:46:58,345 --> 00:47:01,120
happy that you and
Sabina are together.
749
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:06,200
You know, she obviously makes you
really...really happy and that's good.
750
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:09,160
Oh, right. Um...cheers, Donna.
751
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:14,640
I mean, it took a bit of getting used to,
seeing you with someone else.
752
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,840
You know, there are still feelings.
Well, of course.
753
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:21,000
I mean...me too.
754
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,480
I don't know...
755
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:28,720
I don't know, Donna.
756
00:47:28,720 --> 00:47:32,800
Sometimes I wonder what would happen
if you and me... Yeah, great, brilliant.
757
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,760
That's... I can't listen to that.
758
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:39,680
Em... Blah-blah-blah, I...
That's sorted so I'll be off.
759
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:43,960
Look, can you tell Sabina sorry
if I overreacted.
760
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:49,120
She told me about the whole open
relationship, other people thing
761
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:52,760
and you know, I've thought about it
and yeah, whatever makes you happy.
762
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:56,840
Go for it, you pair of dirty birds.
What?!
763
00:47:56,840 --> 00:48:00,120
No, "good luck" is what I'm saying.
764
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,518
Fuck it, yeah.
Shag around, do it,
765
00:48:02,543 --> 00:48:06,079
keep the spice there with,
em, double dip if you...
766
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:09,600
Why not? Be safe, though. I don't
know what you're talking about.
767
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:12,800
I saw Sabina with that bloke,
the other night, in the club.
768
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,506
She explained the whole thing.
769
00:48:14,531 --> 00:48:18,599
You and her and fucking other peoples
and having an open relationship.
770
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,160
We don't have an open relationship.
771
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,960
You saw Sabina with another man?
772
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,200
(No.)
773
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:30,720
She's fucking "other peoples"?!
774
00:48:30,720 --> 00:48:34,920
No. Why? I-I-I never said...
Who said that?
775
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:39,040
Well, who did you see her with?
I didn't see her with... Donna?
776
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:42,640
OK, look, another tack.
777
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:45,156
Can you not tell Sabina
that I said anything,
778
00:48:45,181 --> 00:48:48,024
because I don't want her
to think that I'm... Karl?
779
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,520
You left the door open.
Jesus Christ!
780
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,320
Martin, what are you doing here?
781
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,440
Have you learnt your lesson yet?
782
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:02,320
Yes, Martin,
I have learnt my lesson.
783
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:06,320
That if you're going to shag a pie-eating
mummy's boy, then at least choose one
784
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,800
who knows the difference between
a sneeze and an orgasm.
785
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,920
That's right, Martin -
I was sneezing.
786
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:14,720
Right, come on, let's go.
787
00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:17,951
You're not staying here, Karen.
This is destroying you.
788
00:49:17,976 --> 00:49:20,719
Get your stuff.
Don't make me hurt you, Martin.
789
00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:21,760
Look...
790
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:28,520
Fatty mince?
791
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:32,360
Diet drinks? A Peperami?
792
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:35,560
What is all this saying? Think.
793
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,840
You're a mess without me, Karen.
794
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:42,165
This is not what you want.
I know that, you know that.
795
00:49:42,190 --> 00:49:44,760
Women don't want this, all this.
796
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:49,280
Look, now, let's stop the pretence
and go home.
797
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,600
I love you.
798
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,480
I do.
799
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:08,200
Look, what you made me do.
800
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,360
Hm? I didn't want to do that.
You made me do that.
801
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,000
You made that happen.
802
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,920
You stupid fucking bitch.
803
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,760
Yeah, I just... I just hit him.
804
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,883
I grabbed the nearest
thing and I just hit,
805
00:50:30,908 --> 00:50:34,359
you know, I just hit him with this pan.
Pie pan.
806
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,600
You mean "pie dish"? There's
no such thing as a "pie pan".
807
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:39,520
"Pan", "dish", "kettle", "cauldron" -
808
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:42,520
I fucking hit him with it, all right?
Where is he now?
809
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,160
I tied him to a chair.
810
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:48,120
I didn't know what else to do.
811
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:51,400
H-H-He started waking up and
I just panicked, I just...
812
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:56,920
I put him in your room. What?! My
room? What's wrong with your room?
813
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,960
No, no, you did the right thing.
814
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:00,720
He's a psycho. I'm scared.
815
00:51:00,720 --> 00:51:02,920
I'm really fucking scared.
816
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:06,960
It's OK. Everything is OK. We are
not going to let him hurt you.
817
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,520
Louise is right.
Everything is going to be fine.
818
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,320
We're going to look after you.
819
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:13,280
Right, I'm going to call the police.
820
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:16,143
Don't call the police. I'm
worried because of what I did.
821
00:51:16,168 --> 00:51:17,919
Don't be silly, you
had to do that.
822
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:21,720
Karen, that was self-defence.
Yeah, but the other thing.
823
00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:25,600
So, you tied him up? They're going
to understand that. He's a nutter.
824
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,760
Yeah. But the other things.
825
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:30,920
What other things?
826
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:34,160
He looks angry.
827
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:38,360
He's fucking furious, Louise. I've
super-glued his socks to his feet.
828
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,760
Have you been pelting
him with tomatoes?
829
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:47,160
I ran out of eggs. Oh, God! What are we
going to do? Let's talk in the other room.
830
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,840
What for? He's got tampons in his
ears. He can't hear a fucking thing.
831
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:55,440
This is crazy. I mean, look at the rug!
We're never getting our deposit back.
832
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,440
DOORBELL RINGS
833
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:02,120
OK.
834
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:04,240
OK. I'm going to see who it is.
835
00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:06,000
Keep an eye on him.
836
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:07,520
Keep an eye on her.
837
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:16,400
Happy now? The wedding is off. That's
the second wedding you've ruined for me.
838
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:20,000
How many more weddings are you going to
ruin for me? Stop ruining my weddings!
839
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:24,360
Did you make a pact with the devil to
dedicate your life to fucking mine up?
840
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:28,280
Every time you hurt me, do you grow a
bit stronger? Is it one of those things?
841
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,295
Please just tell me.
How many more honeymoons
842
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:35,080
am I going to have to go to on
my own before you're happy?
843
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:39,640
Karl, do you think you can give us a
hand with something? MUFFLED SHOUTING
844
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,360
What do we do? I mean, you're a man.
845
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:45,280
This is your sort of area -
rough and tumble.
846
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:47,120
"Rough and tumble"?!
847
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:49,600
He's had Mini Babybels
stuck up his arse.
848
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:51,760
I got a bit carried away.
849
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:53,640
So he hit you then?
850
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:57,120
Jesus, though, this is a bit...
Well, you know.
851
00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:00,298
Karl, if you're not going to
offer any positive suggestions,
852
00:53:00,323 --> 00:53:01,600
what are you doing here?
853
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:02,903
What...? You asked me in.
854
00:53:02,928 --> 00:53:06,240
I was quite happy out there having
my life ruined. He's lucky.
855
00:53:06,240 --> 00:53:07,560
He's just being tortured.
856
00:53:07,585 --> 00:53:11,520
I wish to God someone would tie me to a
chair and wax my bollocks, I really do.
857
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,887
It'd be a holiday compared to the
mental torture of knowing you.
858
00:53:14,913 --> 00:53:16,960
It's not my fault
your girlfriend is...
859
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:19,800
What? ...is a person who...
is a loony slag.
860
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:23,360
HE LAUGHS Because I've never had
one of those before, have I, DONNA?
861
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:26,600
God, what made you so cynical? You.
862
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,880
Can't we pretend it's an accident?
863
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:31,200
What about a sex game
that went wrong?
864
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:32,840
He was actually there, Louise.
865
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:37,600
I think he might remember. We could
dump him in the woods. What? Kill him?
866
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:39,440
No! We'll just...
867
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:43,600
Look, if we take him far enough into the
woods then maybe, you know, he'll go away.
868
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:46,600
Yeah, into a gingerbread cottage(!)
869
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:48,840
Is killing him an option?
870
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:52,040
Louise, we're not killing him! Jesus.
871
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:55,680
No, we're going to talk to him
and reason with him.
872
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:59,400
We're going to go up there, take the
tampons out of his mouth and ears
873
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,600
and reason with him like sensible
adults. We're going to say,
874
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:05,320
"Sorry, please don't kill us
or get us arrested,"
875
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:07,720
and we're going to
hope he's calmed down a bit.
876
00:54:07,720 --> 00:54:11,880
And if that doesn't work, then we're
going to dump him in the woods.
877
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:16,200
What if he bites us?
He's not going to bite us. Is he?
878
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:19,680
MUFFLED SHOUTING
Who's going to do it?
879
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,520
All right, I'll, um...
880
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:29,200
He's angry, ain't he?
881
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,640
SOBBING: Please, please!
882
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:35,040
Please don't let her hurt me!
883
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:36,840
Please don't. I swear.
884
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:40,160
I'll be good.
Please don't let her kill me.
885
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:44,600
Oh, God, I think I messed myself.
HE SOBS
886
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:48,160
Well, that's the Babybels dislodged
at least.
887
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:58,720
You've got a bit of, um...
888
00:54:58,720 --> 00:55:01,600
What? Oh. ...tomato.
889
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,280
Mince meat.
890
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,080
Thanks for coming here, Karl.
891
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:10,360
I couldn't face the pub.
892
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:12,618
And they do a really
good dish here
893
00:55:12,643 --> 00:55:16,280
that's basically a chicken shish
with a yoghurty kind of...
894
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:19,760
I didn't know you that you didn't
know about Sabina. I really didn't.
895
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,960
I would never have
said that if I did.
896
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:24,640
I'd have just posted
an anonymous note.
897
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,760
So, what now, then?
Are you going to marry Stephan?
898
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:35,920
No. No, he's got money, but at
the end of the day, he makes
899
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,760
my skin crawl and I don't think that
works in a marriage. Not these days.
900
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,960
What about you and me?
Suddenly we're both single.
901
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:48,120
Yeah, I've been thinking about that.
902
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,240
Look, Karl, we have to decide
what we want to do, OK?
903
00:55:52,240 --> 00:55:54,400
We can't keep on like this.
904
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:57,640
It's not working, is it?
905
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:01,320
You and me, we just...
We don't work together in any way.
906
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:03,520
Wanting to be with
someone isn't enough.
907
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:09,000
So I think you should just go back
to Italy and I should stay here and
908
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:12,240
we should never contact each
other ever again in our lives.
909
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,160
What do you think?
910
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,320
I think...
911
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,920
...that's a good idea.
912
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:26,680
OK.
913
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:31,320
But on the other hand,
914
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,760
I've got a wedding going spare,
thanks to you.
915
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:41,160
It would be a shame to waste it...
when you think.
916
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,798
You have both made the
declarations prescribed by law
917
00:56:45,823 --> 00:56:48,544
and made a pledge to each
other for the future.
918
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:53,320
It gives me great pleasure to
pronounce you man and wife together.
919
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:57,840
What?
920
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:01,000
# I'm going to look until I drop
921
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,160
# I'll never stop
922
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:07,600
# I won't give up
in any way, shape or form
923
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:11,080
# Well, I'm going out
924
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:16,120
# I'm going to find myself a girl
925
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:18,760
# Take her out into the world
926
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:20,520
# We'll learn to dance
927
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:25,440
# We'll take a chance
We'll start romance all over again
928
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:27,520
# Love is lies
929
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:29,440
# Love is eyes
930
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:33,320
# Love is everything that's nice... #
931
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:37,600
So this is it? Yeah.
932
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:40,760
Something you should say?
933
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:44,280
I don't know, eh...
934
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:47,440
I don't think so. Yeah, good. Good.
935
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:50,640
Um...you'd better go.
You'll miss your flight.
936
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:52,520
Yeah.
937
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,960
So this is it? It is.
938
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,800
It's, eh... It's it.
939
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:05,560
Have a good trip. I will. And, eh...
940
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,480
You know, that's it, really.
941
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:09,760
What? Nothing.
942
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,960
I thought you were going to...?
What?
943
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:19,280
PA SYSTEM CHIMES British Midland passengers
for flight BD6. This is the final call.
944
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:22,000
This flight is now
closing at gate two.
945
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:24,600
I think they're
boarding your flight.
946
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:26,960
Yeah, I think they are.
947
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:31,680
If you don't go now, you'll miss it.
948
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:34,040
Yeah...
949
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,040
I will.
950
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:44,080
# There are explosive kegs
951
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:49,160
# Between my legs
952
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:52,960
# Dear God
953
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,400
# Please help me. #
73533
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