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This programme contains scenes
of a sexual nature
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00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,560
and very strong language
3
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,480
Surprise!
4
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,440
Oh, my God!
5
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,520
Dan, there must be like thousands...
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4,500 to be precise.
7
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4,500?
8
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This is too much. I mean...
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I can't accept this.
10
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Are you sure? Jesus, thanks.
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You're not keeping it, Donna. What?
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I'm not giving it to you.
I just want to have sex on it.
13
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,000
On the money? Yes.
14
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:06,360
So like role play?
Yeah, sex on money.
15
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,080
So, like fantasy?
16
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,520
Yeah, sex on money. OK.
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What and then I get it?
18
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HE GROANS
19
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TELEVISION
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Can you pop out and get us a beer?
21
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What?
22
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,400
Beer.
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In the fridge.
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Have one yourself.
25
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Yeah, of course.
26
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,400
Do you want a sandwich?
27
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TELEVISION: It's
come to that time....
28
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Oh, bacon...please.
29
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,440
Do you know something, Martin?
30
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,280
This is lovely.
31
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:43,600
Oh, yeah. You love it, don't you?
You love my money. Look at it.
32
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,320
Hmm?
33
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,720
Look at my money.
34
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:51,240
Yeah. Look at my money.
Look at my money.
35
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,640
Look at my money. Look at my money.
Look at my money.
36
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:58,560
Look at my money, look at my money,
look at my money, look at my money!
37
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,280
Look at my...MONEY!
38
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,760
MUSIC: "Sex On Fire"
by Kings Of Leon
39
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,720
Harder, harder!
40
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,760
Shut your stupid face.
41
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,480
Why you do me like a pansy, boy?
42
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,040
With your spotty ass, you are lucky
I put it in you at all.
43
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,960
You stink. I want to stink.
44
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,680
I love you so much.
45
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,880
I love you too, booby cheeks. Oh!
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00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,240
TELEVISION: Then it was like
bring it on...
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00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,200
What are you doing?
48
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,400
Oh, right, well...
49
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:47,520
I have to meet Karen at 2pm and then
50
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:47,520
we are going to pick Louise up
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00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:47,520
at the airport.
52
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Gosh, I wonder if she's changed?
53
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:55,560
Six months. I know I have,
I've... I've changed.
54
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,560
Well, I've got a fringe now and,
well, it's grown out a bit.
55
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:03,720
But, yes, that's not till two,
so I'll just potter around here
for a while.
56
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,920
Well, I'm going now,
so you've gotta go.
57
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:16,200
But I don't have
to meet them for three hours.
I'll have to wait around. OK.
58
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,560
"OK" what? I can hang around here?
No.
59
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,400
No?!
60
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,080
You're saying "no" -
no I can't hang around here?
61
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,120
Donna, get out.
62
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,080
What?
63
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,320
Are you insane
talking to me like that?
64
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,560
You'd better consider what you
are saying to me, Stephan,
65
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:39,960
otherwise this whole thing is
possibly right in danger
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00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,560
of being very, very in jeopardy, OK?
67
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:49,160
I'll ask you again and I want you to
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00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:49,160
think carefully before you answer,
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00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:49,160
can I hang around here
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00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,800
before picking up Louise
from the airport?
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00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,280
No. Get out.
72
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:57,080
Right, right, OK, fine.
73
00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:02,040
I happen to have to go to the
library anyway, or the zoo.
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00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:06,400
I think...yeah, I have to go
to the zoo. So that's fine.
75
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:10,240
But you should really fucking think
about what happened here today.
76
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,680
What the frick time do
you call this? You're late.
77
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,440
Sorry, I was unavoidably delayed.
Do you know
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00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,880
they have got a monkey at the zoo
looks exactly like Jamie Cullum.
79
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,880
He was wanking with his feet.
80
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,760
What is the matter with your face?
Have you been crying?
81
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:29,920
Nothing's the matter.
82
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,160
You look like somebody hit you.
I'm not wearing any make-up.
83
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,000
What?
84
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,360
Jesus Christ, Karen.
85
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:41,440
Martin thinks there is a time and a
place for make-up. I happen to
agree.
86
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,440
Karen you cannot have a man
tell you not to wear make-up.
87
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,320
Women fought for your
right to wear make-up.
88
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,880
You owe to it the suffragettes
to put some foundation on.
89
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:54,760
I don't know, Donna. This thing with
Martin is a whole new way of life.
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00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,200
I feel like I have found
the secret to happiness.
91
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:02,680
Make your man happy and subjugate
your every need to his.
It's so simple.
92
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:08,400
Look, I'm not saying we shouldn't
have the vote, but when you think
about it, I never voted anyway.
93
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,120
Is it a sex thing?
94
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,640
I'm making him a pie tonight.
95
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,840
That reminds me,
I have to get down the butcher -
96
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,000
he won't eat fatty mince.
97
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,920
Hi!
98
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,560
Jesus...
What the fuck. Where's your...
99
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,800
Where's your cheeks?
I had amoebic dysentery.
100
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,920
Christ, Louise, how many amoebas
did you eat?
101
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,000
Donna, Karen...
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00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,280
I'd like you to meet Greg, my man.
103
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:43,360
We only met two months ago,
but you know when you meet that
special someone and you just think,
104
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:48,160
"I'm having that", and he's a laugh.
105
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:48,160
We laugh a lot, don't we?
106
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,760
We laugh and laugh and laugh.
107
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,880
Well, laughter is the best medicine.
108
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,640
He's always coming out with things
like that, he's great, isn't he?
109
00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,560
I'm moving in with Greg, into his
flat, isn't that fantastic?
110
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,680
I'll get us a taxi and then we
can all get in and talk more.
111
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,720
Oh, yeah. Isn't he great?
112
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:11,720
He's just lovely.
Let's go now. Now, now! Just go!
113
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,600
They're just things.
I can replace things.
114
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,040
Shit! What am I going to do?
115
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,720
I have got to get rid of him.
I'm gonna kill myself.
116
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,800
What was all that stuff
about him being brilliant?
117
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,600
He saved my life...
118
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,280
from a mud slide.
119
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:28,680
Have you ever been hit
by 15,000 cubic tons of mud?
120
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,920
It's not as much fun as it sounds.
121
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,200
He's a hero, I fell in love
with a hero on holiday.
122
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,040
Well, what is the problem?
He is a fucking goon.
123
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,960
You don't notice when you're abroad.
124
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,960
You're sitting on a beach
125
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,960
watching the sun go down
126
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,040
and he says,
"Life is like an ocean."
127
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,720
You think, "life is like an ocean",
let's have sex.
128
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,480
But life isn't like on an ocean.
How is life like an ocean?
129
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,560
In what way is life like an ocean?
130
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,880
That is not going to work.
Not here, not in England.
131
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,720
Oh, my God, he is coming back.
What am I going to do?
132
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,600
Don't worry, I'll distract him.
Donna you talk to lollipop head.
133
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,560
Listen to me,
you just have to talk to him, OK?
134
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,200
You do not have to live
with a man you don't love,
unless you have kids.
135
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,240
Or a mortgage,
and you don't have either.
136
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,200
Right, I've got an idea.
137
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,160
Just whatever I say, back me up.
138
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,760
Right, I got us a cab.
We can just get in it now.
139
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:23,760
Listen, Donna and Karen have
140
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:23,760
asked me to move back in with them.
141
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:27,760
No way are you moving in with us!
Because they really want me to.
142
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,960
No way, forget it.
143
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,120
Did you tell her that?
She can't move in.
144
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:39,960
It is a match box! It's fricking
tiny! No fricking way is she
fricking moving in. No way, fricking
Jose.
145
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,600
Well, that's great,
146
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:51,440
because then me and Greg can move
in together and basically
be together forever.
147
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,320
Or until death's release.
148
00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,960
Here we are.
149
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:07,240
Cosy, eh? All in one room together.
150
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,320
Is that a single bed?
151
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,280
Snuggly-muggly.
152
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,200
It's got everything we need.
153
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:19,120
It's like one of those little sinks
at McDonalds - everything's here,
just compact.
154
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,320
Louise, you're going
to love this, look.
155
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:29,120
You can actually reach the cooker
from in bed. How cool is that?
156
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,960
It is like having a servant.
157
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,560
Let's get a puppy. What?
158
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,280
What sort of colour puppy?
159
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,920
I like brown, they're more loyal.
160
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:44,880
Greg, we can't get a puppy,
that's a big commitment and I mean,
161
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:49,560
I'm not saying we shouldn't do
committed things, but what happens
if one of us gets run over?
162
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,280
What's the puppy going to think?
163
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:55,600
It'll be great - you, me, the puppy.
164
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,960
Building a life together.
165
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,400
Just like we planned in the mud.
166
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:03,880
And who knows?
167
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,840
Maybe one day,
168
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,760
the patter of six little
feet instead of just four.
169
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,280
You want to get a spider?
170
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,800
Nice, nice pie.
171
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,920
It's a little soggy.
172
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:46,400
I'm only telling you this for next
time, cos I know you like
to get it right.
173
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,720
I would say just a little less oil
174
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:53,680
as you are browning off the onions,
reduce the stock just a touch more.
175
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,200
Other than that...
176
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,360
eight out of ten.
177
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:07,280
What? What is it? It's nothing.
178
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,720
Well, it is just...
179
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,080
mustard, there's no mustard.
180
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,000
There's mustard on the table.
181
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,960
It's wholegrain, Karen.
Beef and onion pie needs English.
182
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,600
Well...
183
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,760
I could always pop out and get some.
184
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,560
Yes, I will just pop out.
185
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:31,120
It does need it. OK, I'll be
back in a minute. Love you, babes.
186
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:37,280
Right, I'm off out tonight
so you're gonna have to go.
187
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,080
I'm entertaining
these guys from Bahrain.
188
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,080
Stephan, that's not on.
189
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:46,720
I should be coming with you. I'm
great in those sort of situations.
I'm an asset.
190
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,800
I love Arabs. You want to come?
191
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,640
Only if you want me to,
I'm not forcing you to...
192
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,760
Yeah, I would like to come. OK.
193
00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,200
OK, Donna. You can come.
194
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,800
Well, great. That's great.
195
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,280
I'm gonna say
you're an escort though.
196
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,560
An escort?
197
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:15,440
Why are you talking about an escort?
198
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,160
Are you serious?
199
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,480
I'm not going to pretend
I'm an escort! Why do I have
to pretend I'm an escort?
200
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,320
What, just show up with a girlfriend
I've never mentioned?
201
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,960
These are family people,
family's important to them.
202
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:32,080
But you can turn up with an escort,
that's fine? Yeah, that's fine.
203
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,440
Oh, my God!
204
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,320
That's what it is about, isn't it?
205
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:42,480
I'm not good enough to be your
girlfriend, but I'm good enough
to be your high-class prostitute.
206
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,240
Yeah, great, fine...
207
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:48,400
well you can just stick that
right up your big posh arse.
208
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,040
You think I'd do that?
209
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,520
How can you ask me?
210
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:57,200
Well, you know you just piss off
to... Where's it you're going?
211
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,040
Kiki's. Yeah, well you
can just piss off to...
212
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,520
What in Kensington? Yeah.
213
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,360
Where Harry and Wills
are always getting pissed?
214
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,840
Yeah. With the booths where you get
a table? Yeah, with the booths.
215
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,520
And you are paying for all that?
216
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:14,680
Erm, yeah. OK, fine,
I'm coming but you make me sick.
217
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,240
Hey, Karen!
218
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,800
Oh...frick!
219
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,800
I was just...
220
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,680
sorry, I thought, how's it going?
221
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:44,040
I haven't seen you since...
222
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,840
Christ, Billy,
look at the state of you!
223
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,680
I had some bad news, Karen.
224
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,040
So I have been self-medicating.
225
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:56,400
What bad news? What bad news?
226
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,920
That's what I'm asking you.
227
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,120
We should get together
and have a coffee,
228
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,480
Tia Maria or something. Cake.
229
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,400
Billy, what bad news?
230
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,160
Cancer...
231
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,920
Got bowel cancer.
232
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:18,240
I know who'd have thought my liver
would've outlasted my bowel?
233
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,480
Are you serious?
234
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,000
Quite serious, yes.
235
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,920
I'm gonna die.
236
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,000
Christ.
237
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,320
What are you doing like this
when you're ill?!
238
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:36,480
When they told me, I thought I
could try and do all the things I
never did, but wanted to, you know?
239
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,840
I made a list.
240
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,680
Sky dive...
241
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,800
..drive a train...
242
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,120
..swim with dolphins.
243
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,600
The problem was, the first thing
on the list was to do a big
shitload of drink and drugs
244
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:59,880
and sort of slowed things down
on the list front.
245
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,560
You serious? You've got cancer?
246
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,120
Yeah.
247
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,920
Sorry.
248
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:18,560
Sorry. Well, I'd better go.
249
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,000
I'm going to leave my number.
250
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,120
Actually, it's not mine, it's Tom's.
251
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:36,560
I don't know Tom,
but he's a mate of Darren and
I'm sleeping on Darren's garage.
252
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,000
You look great.
253
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,800
Apart from...
254
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,640
Is that cold now?
255
00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:01,520
It is a bit, love. You can just nuke
256
00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:01,520
that for a couple of minutes.
257
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,600
Then just sit yourself down.
Have a rest.
258
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,480
I just bumped into
an old friend of mine.
259
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,360
An ex-boyfriend actually.
260
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:18,200
He's got cancer. God.
261
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,920
I know. He's really ill.
262
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,640
He's on his own. I can't help
thinking I should go 'round there.
263
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:28,960
No, no, you don't want
to do that, Karen.
264
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:33,840
But he's dying.
Yeah, and that's awful, but...
265
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,240
No, don't go round there.
You don't want to upset yourself.
266
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,400
I don't know, I'll sleep on it. No.
267
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,160
What?
268
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,280
Ex-boyfriends? Sorry, Karen
I'm afraid this is going
to have to be a no.
269
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,640
BLEEPING
270
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,600
I think the food's ready.
271
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:53,200
Yeah...yeah, of course.
272
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,440
Careful, love, that's a bit spicy.
273
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,720
Now what are you doing?
That's too much!
274
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,320
Karen, this is...
275
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:17,240
Oh, I see. Right, well...
That's not very clever, is it?
276
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:22,480
Because you're only ruining your own
work, so who's sorry? Yeah, more.
277
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,040
You're only hurting yourself.
278
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,120
That's it, I'm going down the
pub to get something to eat.
279
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:36,200
You have really disappointed me
today, Karen.
280
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,800
Donna?
281
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,360
What's the problem?
282
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,600
You're really overreacting.
283
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,320
Overreacting?
284
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,440
You had another escort booked.
285
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,320
I just spent the entire night in
there with you and another escort.
286
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,120
I was supposed to be
your escort tonight, me.
287
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,680
From an agency.
288
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,560
How many times do I have to say,
I forgot I booked her?
289
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,040
Look. It's a business thing.
290
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,960
It's just about appearances.
291
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,880
Is that why you spent the
entire night cosying up to her?
292
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,520
Donna, I had my arm around you
as much as her.
293
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:18,480
Stephan, I am a catch, OK?
294
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,720
Many, many, many men
have fallen in love with me.
295
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:29,000
And not just idiots and losers
and Karl, but other men, real men,
men who fight other men,
296
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:34,520
and have jobs and I never
in all my experience had to put up
with crap like this.
297
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:39,960
Donna, Donna. I'm sorry.
298
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,600
I genuinely forgot
that I booked her and...
299
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:48,400
you know... I had no way of
knowing that she was going to be
300
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,360
so much better looking than you.
301
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,520
Get a cab. Now!
302
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,160
Donna? Oh, God, hello.
What are you doing here?
303
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,280
What am I doing here?
Ask this prick.
304
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,200
How many times do I have to tell you
305
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,200
to shut your stupid mouth?!
306
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:12,440
This thing here offers to take me
for a meal for my birthday
in Kensington.
307
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,080
What are you talking about?
It's best kebabs in London.
308
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,520
Lily fucking Allen eats here.
309
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,440
Last time I make romantic gesture
for you, you evil midget.
310
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,960
Just get me a chicken shish,
that's all you are good for.
311
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,120
I'm good for busting your face, more
ugly than it is. Give me the money.
312
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,040
You want chilli or not?
Of course I do.
313
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,520
How is it going with Oleg?
314
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,280
Can I be honest with you, Donna?
315
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,640
He makes my pussy whole.
316
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:40,280
He completes me, completes me
sexually and spiritually,
317
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,840
we're getting engaged.
318
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:46,480
Donna, I always thought
female ejaculation was a myth,
319
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,280
until last night.
320
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,440
I nearly took his eye out.
We had to go to a hospital.
321
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,200
Great that it's all going so well.
322
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:58,680
How's things going with you? Oh,
great. I've been in there with...
323
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,840
In there with Karl?
Karl's in Italy.
324
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,880
No, he is back.
325
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,600
What?
Haven't you heard? He's come back.
326
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:11,200
I bumped into Tony, he said he got
back last weekend. Karl's back?
Yeah, thought you knew.
327
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:16,720
I thought you'd be out celebrating,
328
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:16,720
or messing with each other's heads,
329
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:16,720
whatever it is you two do.
330
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,360
Donna?
331
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,880
Yeah, no chilli.
332
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,240
I got you a large one, booby cheeks.
333
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,360
Donna, I've got us a cab.
334
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,520
Candice is going to
come back with us.
335
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,480
She's paid for. So...
336
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:51,760
Stephan, you are a selfish,
boring, obnoxious, unfunny
337
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,960
dog turd of a man.
338
00:20:53,960 --> 00:21:00,920
You smell stale and you have
dust where your soul should be
and for those reasons, Stephan,
339
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,440
I am out.
340
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,040
Oh and by the way,
I'm not really an escort.
341
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,560
I've actually been going out
out with Stephan for two months.
342
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,240
He made me say I was one
to fool you all.
343
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:18,640
As for me, I simply pretended I was
an escort to be an escort so I could
344
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:25,640
get into this swanky club and be
bought expensive drinks all night,
free of charge, gratis.
345
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,960
I am no whore.
346
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:33,080
MUSIC: "Good Fortune"
by PJ Harvey
347
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,120
Karen?
348
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:51,600
HORN BEEPS
349
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,480
Sorry about the mess,
but, you know...
350
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,000
It's a garage. Fuck.
351
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,200
So good to see you. How are you?
I missed you.
352
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,200
You look amazing, are you ill?
353
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:14,520
No, you look great.
354
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,400
How did you find me?
355
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,040
Billy!
356
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,360
We met last night. Yeah, I remember.
357
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,320
Last night?
358
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:30,320
What's this. Swimming with dolphins,
tomorrow at two.
359
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,040
Drive a train at five.
360
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,040
I couldn't get the sky diving
sorted, but I'm working on it.
361
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,720
These are the things you always
wanted to do, aren't they?
362
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:41,320
Be there tomorrow at 2pm,
or I'll fucking kill you
before the cancer does.
363
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,800
I keep having to come up
with excuses not to have sex.
364
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,680
I'm terrified he is going to
inseminate me.
365
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,600
Last night, I pretended
to be asleep from eight o'clock.
366
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:56,240
I had to pretend to sleep walk
to the toilet three times.
367
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,280
Maybe I can just tell him
I'm allergic to men's semen.
368
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,720
Louise, you don't have to
stay with a man you don't love,
just because he saved your life.
369
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,920
It's not like he bought you a car
or something.
370
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,360
This is terrible,
we're turning into you and Karl.
371
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,320
Me and Karl?
372
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,720
What you talking about? Louise, me
and Karl were meant for each other.
373
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,560
We're star-crossed lovers.
374
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,480
He went to Italy
to get away from you.
375
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,040
Yeah, and now he is back.
376
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,200
What do you think he is back for?
I don't know.
377
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,440
Well, I tell you what, it's not
because I'm allergic to men's semen.
378
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,080
I can't believe you are going
to see him. What about Stephan?
379
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,960
This thing with Stephan,
my behaviour these last few month,
380
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:41,360
the drinking, all those men, when I
saw that lesbian for two weeks and
the early-bird Spanish course?
381
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:44,560
It's all because
my soul mate was gone.
382
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,440
I'm a lot deeper than I thought.
383
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,280
Does this make my nipples
stick out enough?
384
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:58,320
Donna. Hey!
385
00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:59,760
How are you?
386
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,800
I'm great. I'm great.
Yeah, I'm great.
387
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,080
I am absolutely great. How are you?
388
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,920
Are you great? Look at you.
389
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,880
You big, fat eye-tie!
390
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,120
Not bad, though, excuse me.
391
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:16,280
I'm good! Jesus, Donna,
it's fantastic to see you.
392
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:21,400
Is it? It's fantastic to see you,
Italy and everything, you fuck.
393
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,280
Look at your tan. I have not a tan,
have I? Yeah, yeah, a little bit
394
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,600
bronzed around the back
of the neck and the triangles.
395
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,720
You look fantastic.
396
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,600
Well, come in.
397
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,800
Is your mum not in?
Don't worry, the coast is clear.
398
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,560
So what's going on here?
What is the news?
399
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,400
What hasn't gone on here?
400
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:52,280
Everything. Karen and I have moved
into a new flat and things have
really moved on with me as well.
401
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,840
Well, I've done things like, erm...
402
00:24:54,840 --> 00:25:00,960
Oh, we got these new hand driers
in work, Dyson, air, that was...
403
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,760
How are you? How was Italy?
404
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,400
All right.
405
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,080
All right?
406
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:11,680
Just all right?
Well you know, it was great,
it was just harder than I thought.
407
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,800
You know, starting again.
You miss things. Yeah?
408
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:22,880
Yeah. It hasn't been the same
without you here.
409
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,960
There's been more kebabs
to go around for a start.
410
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,600
Look, Karl, I just wanted
to say something.
411
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:36,400
I know we can't just pick up
where we left off... There she is.
412
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:40,280
Ciao. Ciao...
413
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,360
Donna, this is Sabina,
my girlfriend, well, fiance.
414
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,960
That's why I've come back.
We're getting married!
415
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,040
Well, congratulations.
416
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:56,320
That's brilliant.
417
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,800
Oh, that is... brilliant.
418
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,520
Congratulation, you cunts...
419
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:08,680
You lucky cunts. I was just saying,
420
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:08,680
"I bet he is back marrying
421
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:08,680
some Italian piece."
422
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,440
Pleased to meet you, I'm Donna.
423
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,880
Oh, Donna. Ciao, Donna.
424
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:20,320
Karl tell me so much about you.
I really pleased to see you.
425
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:24,080
Yeah, I'm really pleased
to see you...here.
426
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,200
She has such a kind face.
427
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,560
Donna, so nice to meet you.
428
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:34,200
I think we be friends. Si?
429
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,280
Yeah, I see.
430
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,400
What's she like?
431
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,280
She said, "ciao".
432
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,840
How pretentious is that?
433
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,920
Donna, that's how Italians say,
"hello".
434
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,600
Is it?
435
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,880
What a pretentious nation.
436
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:56,000
I tell you what, there's
something going on there.
I don't trust her.
437
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,760
She's...friendly. Well, why are you
arranging a night out with them?
438
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,240
Because we're all gonna be friends.
We're all gonna be great friends.
439
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:08,680
We're gonna go clubbing, we're gonna
hang out, you me, Karl, what's her
name, thingy head, bring Greg.
440
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,840
We're all gonna be great mates.
441
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,640
I'm simply going back to
plan Stephan. Stephan? But...
442
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:17,000
Stephan is brilliant, Louise,
and I'm going to marry him.
443
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,360
He might be a twat, but I love him.
444
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,360
Or I might do one day.
445
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:24,720
Let me tell you something,
life is there for the taking.
446
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:30,160
So I'm going to grab it by the
throat and pummel it and throttle it
and stick it in the boot of my car
447
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,600
and stab it repeatedly over and
over again until it says sorry.
448
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,440
Oh, there's a toy.
449
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,400
Try and make sure you hold
the fin at the base -
That's where it's strongest
450
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:47,720
and if you do feel him dipping
under at any point and you're not
comfortable with that, simply let
go.
451
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:53,680
Just try and relax because
they're used to this.
452
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:57,600
So relax and let them do all the...
453
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,920
HE GROANS
454
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:01,680
..work.
455
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:05,080
One minute. Billy?
456
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,520
Are you off your tits?
457
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,280
No, I just did some mushrooms.
458
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:13,600
What? You can't swim
with dolphin on mushrooms.
459
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,480
Dolphins on mushrooms.
460
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,880
So this is fulfilling your dreams?
461
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,160
Idiot. No, Karen don't go.
462
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,720
I just wanted to be like it was.
463
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,080
Just one day.
464
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,280
You and me.
465
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:37,320
Alcohol, narcotics, the old team.
466
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,280
One last time.
467
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,240
KNOCKING
468
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:46,520
What is it, Greg?
469
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,600
Can I come in? What?
470
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,960
I'm on the toilet.
471
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,680
It's lonely out here.
472
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,160
Meet Koi Jao.
473
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,280
It is Laotian for love.
474
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,960
Oh, Greg.
475
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,160
Don't you worry.
We're not going to get run over.
476
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,640
Oh, Louise, look at his little eyes.
477
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:21,720
He loves you, look?
478
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,520
He loves you so much.
479
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,080
He would die without you.
480
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:34,400
So, basically, I know what it
looks like, I know, I know.
481
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:38,200
But I can assure you...
482
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:43,440
that we have the capacity...
483
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,840
and...got what it takes to do this.
484
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:52,760
Unfortunately, the medication
we are on is quite strong,
485
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:58,560
but my colleague is a doctor and he
will write a note to say it's OK
486
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,800
for me and him
to jump out a plane.
487
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:08,600
All that's important is to see
that little fella's dream come true.
488
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,240
Please.
489
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,800
Please help me make that happen.
490
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,760
Should we eat these
or put them up our bums?
491
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,960
No-one has ever really said no to
me.
492
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,080
It was just... wow.
493
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,880
It was like being
struck by lightning.
494
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,560
I think, Donna, I'm falling...
495
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:43,480
What do you think they talk about -
food, football, the Sopranos, what?
496
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,560
Oh, God, that's a language joke.
That can only be a language joke.
497
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,640
She said cheeps instead of chips.
498
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,280
She seems like a lovely person.
499
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:57,400
You only think that because you
don't fully understand
what she is saying.
500
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,120
If you took 40% of what I said away
from me, I would sound great.
501
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,360
Any couple can get on well
if they can't communicate.
502
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:04,880
Geez a tenner.
503
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:06,720
Geez a tenner, Stephan.
504
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,120
Sabina is such a good dancer.
505
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,720
What are you talking about?
Anyone can dance! I can dance.
506
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,720
Dancing's not clever.
Look at her, like a monkey.
507
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,640
Are you jealous of Sabina, Donna?
508
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,080
What?!
509
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,720
Oh, my God, now I have heard it all.
510
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:29,120
Are you insane? Are you mental?
Jealous of Sabina?
511
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:35,960
That Sabina? Why would I be jealous
of someone that is feeding off an
old carcass - chicken or something -
512
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,480
that I have threw in the bin
when I have got steak at home.
513
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,040
Am I to assume I'm the steak?
514
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:44,080
Shut up, Stephan, and why are you
sitting so close?
What's the matter with you?
515
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:47,120
I feel like you're breathing my air.
Why don't you just move over there.
516
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:49,720
Sit there.
No there, there. Stephan...
517
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,040
God, I fucking love and fancy you.
518
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:04,400
Oh, hi, Karl. These are from Sabina.
519
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,600
THEY CHEER
520
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:07,920
You look great, Sabina.
521
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,840
I love the whole jeans and
T-shirt thing, very chic.
522
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,040
Thank you! It's because Donna,
she say this.
523
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:18,760
So kind. It's funny because in
Italy we dress up for night out.
524
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,440
But Donna, she tell me "no".
525
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,960
Sabina, I was just ruminating
to myself
526
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:32,360
about what with the language barrier
527
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:32,360
and what have you,
528
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:36,440
how you and Karl commune,
extrapolate ideas and so on
and such forth.
529
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,240
Scusi...
530
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:42,600
HE SPEAKS ITALIAN
531
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,160
Si, si...
532
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,080
What the fuck are you doing?
533
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,240
I just picked up a few phrases.
534
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,000
You know, we're so crap
at speaking other languages.
535
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:59,760
Yeah, well I can speak French,
because I just wanted
a useful language.
536
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,920
Ah, vous parlez Francais?
537
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:10,520
Oui.
538
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:19,720
Je ne pas...
539
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:21,000
er...qui...
540
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,920
qui avec...
541
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:24,440
mal...
542
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,200
tres...
543
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,240
l'entente cordiale!
544
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:34,680
Sorry, Donna,
my French is a little rusty.
545
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,320
What did you say?
546
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,600
Down in one!
547
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:50,680
Everyone!
548
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,280
I need liquid.
549
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:41,960
Do you want some water?
550
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,400
Don't take the fucking piss, Donna.
551
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,960
What a waste.
552
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,600
Is he OK there?
553
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,280
What him? Yeah, he's fine.
554
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,600
He's sleeping on udon noodles.
555
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,880
Karen? Can I tell you something?
556
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:11,000
Last night I saw Sabina with another
man and I mean "with", Karen - WITH.
557
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:15,920
I don't want to jump to conclusions
or put her down, but she is a
cheating slag, Karen.
558
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,920
What's the matter with you?
559
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:22,360
Leave the girl alone for
Christ's sake, let them be happy.
560
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,040
What about what I saw?
I saw something, who was she with?
561
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,400
I don't know.
A friend, an acquaintance.
562
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:32,800
Ask Karl if you're so concerned,
or talk to her, see what
she has got to say.
563
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,800
But whatever you do,
talk to someone, because you're
doing everyone's head in.
564
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:44,480
You take a long, good look
at yourself, Donna.
565
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,120
You're a mess.
566
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,840
Nanna!
567
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,160
Where are we going?
568
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:23,120
It's a surprise. Surprises have to
be surprising, that's the surprise.
569
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,320
Look, Greg, I've been thinking.
570
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,040
Yeah, me too.
571
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,880
About how lucky I am.
572
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:32,240
What we went through in the mud,
those moments,
573
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:35,600
well, they were just moments
and this is our life.
574
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,440
And there are some things
we really need to face.
575
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,560
Balloon! Greg, are you OK?
You're shouting balloon at me.
576
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,400
Balloon, Louise, balloon.
577
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:56,160
So pleased to get your call,
so nice you ask me for coffee.
578
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,880
Sorry?
579
00:36:57,880 --> 00:36:59,720
Is there something wrong?
580
00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:01,480
Well, I hope not.
581
00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:06,120
Sabina...
582
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:08,280
I've known Karl for a long time.
583
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:11,800
We have a bond and I don't want you
to think that I'm going to use
584
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,360
my influence with Karl against you,
that is not what this is about.
585
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,200
But I'm going need some answers.
586
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,960
I don't understand.
587
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:26,080
Sabina, last night
I saw you with another man.
588
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:27,680
Don't try and deny it.
589
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,720
I know what I saw, by the toilets.
590
00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:33,880
You gave him your phone number
and you kissed him with your lips.
591
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,600
SHE LAUGHS
592
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,880
Sorry, Donna - I no laugh at you.
593
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,520
Donna, me and Karl, we have a...
594
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:49,400
..open relationship. What?
595
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:53,000
We have open relationship.
596
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,640
You say it this way?
597
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,760
We see other peoples.
598
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,160
What, Karl?!
599
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,760
You see other peoples with Karl?
600
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,400
Si. You don't do this?
601
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:09,080
What? No. Hang on - open...
602
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,800
Do you even know what that means?
603
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,640
Si, we fuck with other people.
604
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,920
So you... with other men
and he does his on top?
605
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,320
He wouldn't even watch porn with me.
606
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,480
Donna,
I want to ask you something now -
607
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,480
do you want fuck Karl?
608
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,080
No!
609
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:37,560
Jesus. What? Because sometimes,
I think you're jealous.
610
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:40,240
That you still want to be with Karl.
611
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,960
No, what are you talking about?
612
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,160
Because I am with Karl now.
613
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:48,800
You understand?
614
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,760
He was your boyfriend.
615
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:56,440
Now he's my boyfriend, not yours.
Yes, I know. Good.
616
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,960
Good. Because I don't want to...
617
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:06,800
Make Karl cut you out of his life
and for your friendship to be dead,
OK?
618
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,600
Because I will, if I have to.
619
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:16,840
Oh, and me and Karl have
open relationship,
620
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,400
but it's not open to you.
621
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:23,160
You cannot fuck my boyfriend.
622
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:27,320
Never. Never, ever.
623
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,040
Is clear, si?
624
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,880
Si.
625
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,640
Louise?
626
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:47,920
Greg, I know this probably isn't
the best place, but I really have
to.
627
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:52,160
Oh, shit! Being in this balloon
reminds me how my heart
628
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:55,960
soars every day when
I see you and I just know...
629
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,560
Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ-y God!
630
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:01,520
..that there's no other person on
this planet I want to be with.
631
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,000
France! Greg, you can see France.
632
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:08,040
No, I don't want to interrupt,
but you're missing it.
You really can see.
633
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:13,520
Oh, fuck! You are my heart,
my soul and my life.
634
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,360
Louise...
635
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,000
will you marry me?
636
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,560
No.
637
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,920
Will you marry me?
638
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,760
No.
639
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:32,160
I... I don't...
I can't, Greg. Sorry.
640
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,040
I don't like you.
Sorry, that sounds bad.
641
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,840
I mean, I don't love you.
642
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,360
I'm really, really sorry.
643
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,320
I did like you. But now I don't.
644
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,160
So how could I marry you?
645
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,560
It's not you, Greg.
646
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:48,000
It's your voice and the things that
come out of your mouth. Oh, shit.
647
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:49,600
This isn't how I planned this.
648
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,200
And I'm sure this isn't
how you planned this.
649
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,640
I don't love you, Greg. I'm sorry.
650
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,360
I don't want to be with you.
651
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:03,320
Oh... Oh, right.
652
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:07,480
Um...
653
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,400
Right.
654
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,720
Eh...
655
00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:16,120
Greg...
656
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:17,680
What?
657
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,680
Oh, yeah.
658
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,640
Hang on.
659
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:25,960
Greg!
660
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:40,880
SHE SIGHS
661
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:44,440
I can't fucking stand this shit.
662
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:55,400
God...
I mean, what a thing to happen.
663
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,200
A young life just snuffed out.
664
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,440
Well, not snuffed, dropped.
665
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,720
A young life just
dropped out of a balloon like that.
666
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,680
Makes you think, doesn't it?
667
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,320
Well, let's see
what the doctors say.
668
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,640
There's... There's still a chance.
669
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:19,080
Look, Stephan, I've been thinking.
Life is short,
670
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:23,720
and it's easy to see at this
stage that things probably aren't
going to get any better for me.
671
00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:28,800
I've thought about you and
the kind of person you are, and
the good thing about you is, well,
672
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,440
you're a man and
673
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,440
I think what I'm trying to say is...
674
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:36,640
yes,
let's legitimise this partnership.
675
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,520
With the appropriate paperwork.
676
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:42,680
Are you proposing...
677
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,880
outside intensive care?
678
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,360
Yes, I am.
679
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:50,960
Let's get...fucking married.
680
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:01,760
Oh, well. What? Nothing.
681
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:08,360
He's in a coma.
682
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,840
They don't think he'll wake up.
683
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:16,280
Have they tried...?
Oh, no, they probably have.
684
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:20,240
Listen,
685
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:20,240
can I get you a coffee or something?
686
00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:23,080
Can I have a tea, please? Sure.
687
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,720
How about you,
Mrs Willoughby-Cl..?
688
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:27,480
Fuck off, Stephan!
689
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,160
SHE SNIVELS
690
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,880
Karen, are you all right? I didn't
think you knew him that well.
691
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:49,520
It's not him, twat, it's you.
692
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:53,320
I keep on seeing you in there,
Billy,
693
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:57,640
with tubes and wires and things,
dying.
694
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:01,120
Me? Oh, right, yeah.
695
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:04,080
I can't bear it.
696
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:04,080
SHE SOBS
697
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,120
Well...
698
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,320
..what if I was to tell you that...
699
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,000
it's cleared up?
700
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,560
Your cancer's cleared up? Yeah.
701
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:21,480
Yeah. The doctors...
Well, not the doctors, but you know,
702
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:26,000
I don't have...any more, no cancer.
703
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,160
Your cancer's gone?
704
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,800
Gone. Isn't that great?
705
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,680
Right... Look...
706
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:40,880
I'm gonna be honest with you.
I did have cancer. But not...
707
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:44,560
really cancer. It was more of a
mole.
708
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:47,320
You know when you get a benign...?
709
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,120
It's benign so don't worry.
710
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:53,760
You know when you get a mole? When
did you find out it wasn't cancer?
711
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,880
About two...
712
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:58,560
or three years ago.
713
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,400
You said you wanted to be with me.
714
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:08,440
I didn't even remember saying
anything to you and I thought you
know, I could say, "No, I'm fine,"
715
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:13,800
and watch you walk away forever,
or I could say something that
would make you want to stay.
716
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,440
Are you angry?
717
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,440
He's just lying there.
718
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,320
I mean, he's not moving, Donna.
719
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:28,120
He's not moving, he's not talking,
he's not twitching or scratching.
He's not even thinking.
720
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:33,280
This is a terrible, terrible thing,
721
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:33,280
but you must not
722
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:33,280
beat yourself up like you...
723
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,920
I sort of like it.
I mean, it's so calm in here.
724
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:40,080
It's like the Greg I
fell in love with. Is that wrong?
725
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,160
Yes!
726
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,200
It is. It's VERY wrong.
727
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,880
I'm not leaving him, Donna.
728
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,920
What are you talking about?
729
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,880
I owe it to him.
And OK, it's not ideal,
730
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:53,200
but let's give it a chance, I say.
Louise...
731
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:58,760
You've got to understand.
It's like when we were together in
the mud, but the other way around.
732
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:04,720
I can repay the favour, I can keep
his head above the water, or at
least wipe the spittle off his
chops.
733
00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:09,400
Louise, I think this is shock. You
need to go home, take some time...
734
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,600
No, I'm not going anywhere.
735
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,840
I'm staying with my man -
736
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,960
THE man.
737
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:18,440
The man in a fucking coma!
738
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:20,760
No-one's perfect, Donna.
739
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,120
We off, then?
740
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:33,000
DOORBELL RINGS
741
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:37,280
Oh, hi, Donna.
742
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:41,080
How was the hospital?
Oh, you know, tough.
743
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:45,480
But he doesn't seem to be suffering.
And if he is, he's keeping it quiet.
744
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:49,960
Look, Karl, all of this
has just made me think
745
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:55,160
about you and me
and the way I've been behaving
and I just wanted to say...
746
00:46:55,160 --> 00:47:01,320
Look, I just wanted to say
t-t-that I'm really happy
that you and Sabina are together.
747
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:06,400
You know, she obviously makes you
really...really happy
and that's good.
748
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,360
Oh, right. Um...cheers, Donna.
749
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:14,840
I mean, it took a bit
of getting used to, seeing you with
someone else.
750
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:18,040
You know, there are still feelings.
751
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:18,040
Well, of course.
752
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:21,200
I mean...me too.
753
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:25,680
I don't know...
754
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:28,920
I don't know, Donna.
755
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:33,000
Sometimes I wonder
what would happen if you and me...
Yeah, great, brilliant.
756
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,960
That's... I can't listen to that.
757
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:39,880
Em... Blah-blah-blah, I...
That's sorted so I'll be off.
758
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:44,160
Look, can you tell Sabina sorry
if I overreacted.
759
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:49,320
She told me about the whole open
relationship, other people thing
760
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,960
and you know, I've thought about it
and yeah, whatever makes you happy.
761
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:57,040
Go for it, you pair of dirty birds.
762
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:57,040
What?!
763
00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:00,320
No, "good luck" is what I'm saying.
764
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:06,280
Fuck it, yeah. Shag around, do it,
keep the spice there
with, em, double dip if you...
765
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:09,800
Why not? Be safe, though. I don't
know what you're talking about.
766
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:13,000
I saw Sabina with that bloke,
the other night, in the club.
767
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:18,800
She explained the whole thing. You
and her and fucking other peoples
and having an open relationship.
768
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,360
We don't have an open relationship.
769
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,160
You saw Sabina with another man?
770
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,400
(No.)
771
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:30,920
She's fucking "other peoples"?!
772
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:35,120
No. Why? I-I-I never said...
Who said that?
773
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:39,240
Well, who did you see her with?
I didn't see her with... Donna?
774
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:42,840
OK, look, another tack.
775
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:48,200
Can you not tell Sabina that I said
anything, because I don't want
her to think that I'm... Karl?
776
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,720
You left the door open.
Jesus Christ!
777
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,520
Martin, what are you doing here?
778
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,640
Have you learnt your lesson yet?
779
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,520
Yes, Martin,
I have learnt my lesson.
780
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:06,520
That if you're going to shag
a pie-eating mummy's boy,
then at least choose one
781
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:10,000
who knows the difference between
a sneeze and an orgasm.
782
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,120
That's right, Martin -
I was sneezing.
783
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:14,920
Right, come on, let's go.
784
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:20,920
You're not staying here, Karen. This
is destroying you. Get your stuff.
Don't make me hurt you, Martin.
785
00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:21,960
Look...
786
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,720
Fatty mince?
787
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:32,560
Diet drinks? A Peperami?
788
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:35,760
What is all this saying? Think.
789
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:38,040
You're a mess without me, Karen.
790
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:44,960
This is not what you want.
I know that, you know that.
Women don't want this, all this.
791
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:49,480
Look, now, let's stop the pretence
and go home.
792
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,800
I love you.
793
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:55,680
I do.
794
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,400
Look, what you made me do.
795
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,560
Hm? I didn't want to do that.
You made me do that.
796
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,200
You made that happen.
797
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:16,120
You stupid fucking bitch.
798
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:27,960
Yeah, I just... I just hit him.
799
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:34,560
I grabbed the nearest thing and
I just hit, you know, I just hit him
with this pan. Pie pan.
800
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:37,800
You mean "pie dish"? There's
no such thing as a "pie pan".
801
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:39,720
"Pan", "dish", "kettle", "cauldron"
-
802
00:50:39,720 --> 00:50:42,720
I fucking hit him with it, all
right? Where is he now?
803
00:50:42,720 --> 00:50:45,360
I tied him to a chair.
804
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:48,320
I didn't know what else to do.
805
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,600
H-H-He started waking up and
I just panicked, I just...
806
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:57,120
I put him in your room. What?! My
room? What's wrong with your room?
807
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,160
No, no, you did the right thing.
808
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:00,920
He's a psycho. I'm scared.
809
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:03,120
I'm really fucking scared.
810
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:07,160
It's OK. Everything is OK. We are
not going to let him hurt you.
811
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,720
Louise is right.
Everything is going to be fine.
812
00:51:09,720 --> 00:51:11,520
We're going to look after you.
813
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,480
Right, I'm going to call the police.
814
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:18,120
Don't call the police.
815
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:18,120
I'm worried because of what I did.
816
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:18,120
Don't be silly, you had to do that.
817
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:21,920
Karen, that was self-defence.
Yeah, but the other thing.
818
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:25,800
So, you tied him up? They're going
to understand that. He's a nutter.
819
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,960
Yeah. But the other things.
820
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:31,120
What other things?
821
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:34,360
He looks angry.
822
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:38,560
He's fucking furious, Louise. I've
super-glued his socks to his feet.
823
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:42,960
Have you been pelting
him with tomatoes?
824
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:47,360
I ran out of eggs.
Oh, God! What are we going to do?
Let's talk in the other room.
825
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:51,040
What for? He's got tampons in his
ears. He can't hear a fucking thing.
826
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:55,640
This is crazy. I mean,
827
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:55,640
look at the rug! We're never getting
828
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:55,640
our deposit back.
829
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:57,640
DOORBELL RINGS
830
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,320
OK.
831
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,440
OK. I'm going to see who it is.
832
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:06,200
Keep an eye on him.
833
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:07,720
Keep an eye on her.
834
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:16,600
Happy now? The wedding is off.
That's the second wedding
you've ruined for me.
835
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:20,200
How many more weddings are
you going to ruin for me?
Stop ruining my weddings!
836
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:24,560
Did you make a pact with
the devil to dedicate your
life to fucking mine up?
837
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:28,480
Every time you hurt me,
do you grow a bit stronger?
Is it one of those things?
838
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:35,280
Please just tell me. How many more
honeymoons am I going to have to go
to on my own before you're happy?
839
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:39,840
Karl, do you think you can give us
840
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:39,840
a hand with something?
841
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:39,840
MUFFLED SHOUTING
842
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:42,560
What do we do? I mean, you're a man.
843
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,480
This is your sort of area -
rough and tumble.
844
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:47,320
"Rough and tumble"?!
845
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:49,800
He's had Mini Babybels
stuck up his arse.
846
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,960
I got a bit carried away.
847
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:53,840
So he hit you then?
848
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:57,320
Jesus, though, this is a bit...
Well, you know.
849
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:01,800
Karl, if you're not going to
offer any positive suggestions,
what are you doing here?
850
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:06,440
What...? You asked me in.
I was quite happy out there
having my life ruined. He's lucky.
851
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:11,720
He's just being tortured. I wish to
God someone would tie me to a chair
and wax my bollocks, I really do.
852
00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:17,160
It'd be a holiday compared to the
mental torture of knowing you. It's
not my fault your girlfriend is...
853
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:20,000
What? ..is a person who...
is a loony slag.
854
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,560
HE LAUGHS
855
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,560
Because I've never had one of
856
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,560
those before, have I, DONNA?
857
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:26,800
God, what made you so cynical? You.
858
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,080
Can't we pretend it's an accident?
859
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,400
What about a sex game
that went wrong?
860
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,040
He was actually there, Louise.
861
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:37,800
I think he might remember.
We could dump him in the woods.
What? Kill him?
862
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:39,640
No! We'll just...
863
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:43,800
Look, if we take him far enough into
864
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:43,800
the woods then maybe, you know,
865
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:43,800
he'll go away.
866
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,800
Yeah, into a gingerbread cottage(!)
867
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:49,040
Is killing him an option?
868
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:52,240
Louise, we're not killing him!
Jesus.
869
00:53:52,240 --> 00:53:55,880
No, we're going to talk to him
and reason with him.
870
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:59,600
We're going to go up there, take the
tampons out of his mouth and ears
871
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,800
and reason with him like sensible
adults. We're going to say,
872
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:05,520
"Sorry, please don't kill us
or get us arrested,"
873
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:07,920
and we're going to
hope he's calmed down a bit.
874
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:12,080
And if that doesn't work, then we're
going to dump him in the woods.
875
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:16,400
What if he bites us?
He's not going to bite us. Is he?
876
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,880
MUFFLED SHOUTING
877
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,880
Who's going to do it?
878
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,720
All right, I'll, um...
879
00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:29,400
He's angry, ain't he?
880
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:32,840
SOBBING: Please, please!
881
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:35,240
Please don't let her hurt me!
882
00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:37,040
Please don't. I swear.
883
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:40,360
I'll be good.
Please don't let her kill me.
884
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:44,800
Oh, God, I think I messed myself.
HE SOBS
885
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:48,360
Well, that's the Babybels dislodged
at least.
886
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:58,920
You've got a bit of, um...
887
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,800
What? Oh. ..tomato.
888
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:03,480
Mince meat.
889
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,280
Thanks for coming here, Karl.
890
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:10,560
I couldn't face the pub.
891
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:16,480
And they do a really good dish here
892
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:16,480
that's basically a chicken shish
893
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:16,480
with a yoghurty kind of...
894
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,960
I didn't know you that you didn't
know about Sabina. I really didn't.
895
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:22,160
I would never have
said that if I did.
896
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,840
I'd have just posted
an anonymous note.
897
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:30,960
So, what now, then?
Are you going to marry Stephan?
898
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:36,120
No. No, he's got money, but at
the end of the day, he makes
899
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:39,960
my skin crawl and I don't think that
works in a marriage. Not these days.
900
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,160
What about you and me?
Suddenly we're both single.
901
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:48,320
Yeah, I've been thinking about that.
902
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:52,440
Look, Karl, we have to decide
what we want to do, OK?
903
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:54,600
We can't keep on like this.
904
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,840
It's not working, is it?
905
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:01,520
You and me, we just...
We don't work together in any way.
906
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,720
Wanting to be with
someone isn't enough.
907
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:09,200
So I think you should just go back
to Italy and I should stay here and
908
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:12,440
we should never contact each
other ever again in our lives.
909
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:16,360
What do you think?
910
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:20,520
I think...
911
00:56:22,720 --> 00:56:25,120
..that's a good idea.
912
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:26,880
OK.
913
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:31,520
But on the other hand,
914
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:33,960
I've got a wedding going spare,
thanks to you.
915
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:41,360
It would be a shame to waste it...
when you think.
916
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:48,720
You have both made the declarations
prescribed by law and made a pledge
to each other for the future.
917
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:53,520
It gives me great pleasure to
918
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:53,520
pronounce you man and wife together.
919
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:58,040
What?
920
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:01,200
# I'm going to look until I drop
921
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,360
# I'll never stop
922
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:07,800
# I won't give up
in any way, shape or form
923
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:11,280
# Well, I'm going out
924
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:16,320
# I'm going to find myself a girl
925
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:18,960
# Take her out into the world
926
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:20,720
# We'll learn to dance
927
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:25,640
# We'll take a chance
We'll start romance all over again
928
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:27,720
# Love is lies
929
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:29,640
# Love is eyes
930
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:33,520
# Love is everything that's nice...
#
931
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,800
So this is it? Yeah.
932
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:40,960
Something you should say?
933
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:44,480
I don't know, eh...
934
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:47,640
I don't think so. Yeah, good. Good.
935
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,840
Um...you'd better go.
You'll miss your flight.
936
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:52,720
Yeah.
937
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:57,160
So this is it? It is.
938
00:57:57,160 --> 00:58:00,000
It's, eh... It's it.
939
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:05,760
Have a good trip. I will. And, eh...
940
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:07,680
You know, that's it, really.
941
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:09,960
What? Nothing.
942
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:13,160
I thought you were going to...?
What?
943
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:19,480
PA SYSTEM CHIMES
944
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:19,480
British Midland passengers for
945
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:19,480
flight BD6. This is the final call.
946
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,200
This flight is now
closing at gate two.
947
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:24,800
I think they're
boarding your flight.
948
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:27,160
Yeah, I think they are.
949
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:31,880
If you don't go now, you'll miss it.
950
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,240
Yeah...
951
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:36,240
I will.
952
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:44,280
# There are explosive kegs
953
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:49,360
# Between my legs
954
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:53,160
# Dear God
955
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,600
# Please help me. #
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