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1
00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:03,537
My name is Earl.
2
00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:06,374
[ Earl Narrating ]
Camden County
was having a heat wave.
3
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,509
Me and Randy wanted
to cool off in the pool.
4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,544
Unfortunately,
we weren't the only ones.
5
00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:13,114
When do you think the mice
are gonna be done swimmin'?
6
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,716
I think they are done, Randy.
They're just never gettin'
out of the pool.
7
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:19,187
We can soak our feet
in these, but my manager says...
8
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,589
we gotta put the ice
back in the machines
when we're finished.
9
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:24,292
I wish we had
air-conditioning.
10
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,327
[ Earl Narrating ]
What Randy said
got me thinkin'...
11
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,729
about someone else who probably
wished he had air-conditioning.
12
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:30,764
He's number 26 on my list.
13
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,270
A few years back
while Camden was in the middle
of another heat wave,
14
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:39,240
me and Randy were in the middle
of a crime wave.
15
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:42,310
Usually, we broke into houses
lookin' for cool stuff.
16
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:45,346
During the heat wave,
we were happy just to find cool.
17
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:49,117
[ Both Sigh ]
18
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,219
Man, if everyone
who had one of these...
19
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,321
would just open up
their doors and share,
20
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,323
we wouldn't have
this stupid heat wave.
21
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,358
I'm goin' shirts-up.
22
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,094
* Makin' a livin'
Hey.
23
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,662
* The old hard way
24
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,165
* Takin' and givin'
by day by day *
25
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,400
[ Both ]
Hey.
26
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:10,504
- * I dig snow and rain
and the bright sunshine *
- You guys want a sandwich?
27
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,773
[ Earl Narrating ]
Luckily for us,
Woody smoked a lot of weed,
28
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,509
and it never crossed his mind
we were burglars.
29
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,179
He just assumed we were
people he knew.
30
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:21,115
I could eat.
** [ Continues ]
31
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,883
[ Earl Narrating ]
The right and proper thing
to do...
32
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,119
would have been
to clean him out and move on.
33
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,255
But because of the heat wave,
34
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:30,291
we decided to rob him
one piece at a time
and enjoy the cool air.
35
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:32,726
- [ Both Grunt ]
- [ TV: Indistinct ]
36
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:37,598
* Draggin' the line
* Draggin' the line
37
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,402
[ Earl Narrating ]
We thought we were busted
for sure...
38
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,572
when Woody caught us
rollin' his fridge
through the living room.
39
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,608
But apparently something called
"the munchies" made it hard
for him to concentrate...
40
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:51,312
on things like,
well, where the hell he was.
41
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:55,383
* I'm gonna take my time
We even tried smokin' weed
for the first time,
42
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,385
but it wasn't for us.
[ TV: Sirens Wailing ]
43
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,753
I kept havin' to check
to see if I peed myself.
44
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,457
And poor Randy was so high,
he spent four and a half hours
lookin' for his nose.
45
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,626
Seriously, guys,
did you hide it from me?
46
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,666
[ Earl Narrating ]
Eventually, there was
only one thing left to steal.
47
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,236
* Peace of mind
48
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:19,707
* I'm gonna take my time
49
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:24,712
- Go, go, go!
- * I'm gettin' the good sign
50
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:28,316
Hey, Woody.
Uh, just adjustin'
the air here.
51
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:31,219
- * Draggin' the line
- * Draggin' the line
52
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,888
* Draggin' the line
[ Blowing ]
53
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:38,359
[ Earl Narrating ]
I was sad to leave,
but once we took the A.C.,
54
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,661
well, there was
no reason to stay.
55
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,896
* Draggin' the line *
56
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,333
Come on, Randy.
It's time to take care
of number 26.
57
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,968
I need to give that stoner guy
his A.C. back.
58
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,803
It's too hot.
I can't take it anymore!
59
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:57,445
Nice splash, Randy.
That got most
of the mice out.
60
00:02:57,478 --> 00:03:00,248
[ Earl Narrating ]
We sold everything we took
from Woody...
61
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,216
except for the A.C.,
which was still at Joy's.
62
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,252
- Hey, Crabman.
- Hey, Earl.
63
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,954
- What is that thing, a robot?
- My deaf lawyer said
if I could pass...
64
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,790
a lie detector test sayin'
I didn't steal that truck,
it'll help my case.
65
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,926
So I stole this old one
from a swap meet.
66
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,429
Don't bother tryin'
to explain the irony.
She doesn't see it.
67
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:19,800
Look, I got bad news. I need
to take your air conditioner
back to the guy I stole it from.
68
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,370
Well, you're out of luck.
We don't have
an A.C. anymore.
69
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,743
All right. We do have
an air conditioner,
70
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,645
but it's not the one
you stole.
71
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,850
Darnell, unhook me from
this thing so I can have
a normal conversation with Earl.
72
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,253
- Sorry, Joy. I'm takin' it.
- Fine.
73
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:42,022
It's got a nest
of yellow jackets in it anyway.
Hope you get stung.
74
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,359
Could you hook me up
to the machine and ask it
if I'm ever gonna get married?
75
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:47,495
Well, I can tell you
the answer to that.
[ Scoffs ]
76
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,367
[ Earl Narrating ]
We stopped by Woody's apartment,
but his landlord told us...
77
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:55,369
he'd moved out
a couple years before.
78
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:58,539
Luckily, he left
a forwarding address.
79
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,474
This is it.
80
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,615
[ Man ]
Pick it up for you.
81
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,687
[ Man Chattering ]
82
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,056
Man, these hippies
are crazy, Randy. That dude
just ate something...
83
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,393
- that was growin'
out of the ground.
- [ Bleats ]
84
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:23,297
You think that's weird.
There's a chick over there
squeezin' on a goat's ta-tas.
85
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:26,066
All right, look. We'll just
get this over with
and get out of here.
86
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,637
Uh-- [ Clears Throat ]
Excuse me.
Uh, excuse me.
87
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,440
Can I help you?
88
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:35,042
There's a naked old lady
in the bushes.
I know. Just don't panic.
89
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:38,078
What do we do? What do we do?
What do we do?
You're panicking. Don't panic!
90
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,748
Hello.
[ Clears Throat ]
91
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:45,486
Uh, ma'am, uh, we're lookin'
for a guy named Woody Maruzak.
92
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,055
He's over there
fixin' that house.
I'll show you.
93
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,358
No, no! Nope.
We'll find him.
94
00:04:56,397 --> 00:05:00,033
Woody?
Earl and Randy Hickey.
95
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,803
Hey!
Earl and Randy Hickey!
96
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,973
Look, I gotta warn you.
There's a naked old lady
in your bushes.
97
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,843
Oh, yeah. That's Nora.
She's a nudist.
Kinda weird, if you ask me.
98
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,846
Then again, it might be
a little weird that I live
in a dung cottage.
99
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,115
What's dung?
'Cause it smells like
cow ploppies.
100
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:19,587
Well, it's got cow ploppies
in it, along with straw
and a little mud for insulation.
101
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,656
Well, what do you know?
Cow crap houses.
102
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,825
That's, uh, interesting.
[ Flies Buzzing ]
103
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:28,962
Not interesting, Earl.
Crazy. He puts poo on his walls.
That's what crazy people do.
104
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,131
[ Earl Narrating ]
While Randy tried
to fight the smell,
105
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,834
I explained to Woody
about my list
and why I was there.
106
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,936
And it took a little longer
than normal...
107
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,739
'cause not all
of Woody's brain cells
had quite grown back yet.
108
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,141
[ Flies Buzzing ]
That is great.
That is really beautiful.
109
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,511
You've really changed
your life.
I'm proud of you.
110
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,880
[ Chuckles, Sighs ]
111
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:50,751
I gotta be honest though.
I have no idea who you are.
112
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:54,788
I don't know if you know this,
but I used to partake
a little bit in the doobage.
113
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,525
[ Earl Narrating ]
In fact, thanks to the drugs,
there were...
114
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,727
huge sections of Woody's life
he didn't remember...
115
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,864
until he woke up one day, out of
pot and accidentally sober.
116
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,800
They say you never change
your life until you really
hit bottom.
117
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:10,604
And it helps if you hit it
from a thousand feet up.
118
00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:14,074
That's when I quit drugs
and moved up here
to Sunshine Collective.
119
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:17,578
We're an off-the-grid commune,
totally self-sufficient.
120
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:21,915
Grow our own food and live
completely free of electricity.
[ Clicks Tongue ]
121
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:24,652
Man, that weed
stays in your system
a long time, doesn't it?
122
00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,920
Yeah.
Where do you want me
to put the A.C.?
123
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:30,658
And don't worry.
I'm gonna take you shoppin'
for the other stuff we stole.
124
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:34,728
No can do, Earl.
I don't need any of those
items of convenience anymore.
125
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:38,666
- But I gotta do somethin', or
I can't cross you off my list.
- Hmm. I can see your pickle.
126
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:41,635
Hmm. Well, how about this?
127
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:44,572
You and your brother,
you both seem like
you're pretty good polluters.
128
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:48,642
- What makes you say that?
- You've been here a half hour,
and your car's still running.
129
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,178
- [ Engine Rattling ]
- Oh, no. That's just
so we can keep the fan on.
130
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,615
We got a couple
Styrofoam cups of soda in it
we wanna keep cool.
131
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,918
How about this: Why don't
you stay with us for a week,
see what we're all about?
132
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,654
At the very least,
you'll reduce your eco-footprint
while you're here.
133
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:02,723
You sure you don't want
a radio or something?
134
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,925
We got one back at the motel
that doesn't even
take electricity.
135
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,927
You put batteries in it.
136
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,162
Sorry. That's all
I can think of.
137
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:12,733
Just one week, right?
Don't worry.
You're gonna love it.
138
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:16,870
Hey, Nora. You mind
if these boys bunk
with you for a few days?
139
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,706
I call middle.
140
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,552
[ Earl Narrating ]
The hippie camp
had straw mattresses,
141
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:35,122
which were actually comfortable
once you got used to the straw
pokin' in your back.
142
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,825
[ Rooster Crows ]
We should get outta here, Earl.
This place isn't natural.
143
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,828
You know what someone
told me last night? They said
they don't believe in plastic.
144
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,063
That's just crazy.
Plastic exists.
I've seen it.
145
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,499
We can't leave, Randy.
146
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:48,035
Sometimes I just have to deal
with strange people
on this list.
147
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,271
- [ Door Opens ]
- Mornin', dudes.
Time to get to work.
148
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,141
- Okay. See you
when you get back.
- No, no. You guys gotta work.
149
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:57,611
With you guys here, we got
two more mouths to feed.
Up and at 'em.
150
00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:01,949
You heard him.
[ Groans ]
Let's do this.
151
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,951
Five more minutes.
Come on, Randy.
152
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,219
Wakey, wakey, hands off--
153
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:09,957
Randy, Randy, Randy, there's
a snake. Randy, there's a--
Get up! There's a snake!
154
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,693
[ Earl Narrating ]
The first day, we learned
that being off the grid...
155
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,295
means that stuff
that should be easy
took a lot of work.
156
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:19,800
First, you search
the woods for fallen branches.
Then you drag them back here,
157
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,270
you debark the wood
for the mulch pile and you chop
the rest to fire up the boiler.
158
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:26,173
Then, after about three hours,
you got five minutes
of hot water.
159
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:29,142
And after you take your shower,
you clean the soot
from the boiler,
160
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:32,212
you put it in the ash pit,
and then we can make soap
out of it later.
161
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,819
Guess who won't be
takin' showers.
162
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,054
[ Earl Narrating ]
The second day,
163
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:45,192
we learned that stuff
that should be complicated
was way too simple.
164
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:48,128
- The bathroom
is a bucket, Earl.
- Of course it is, Randy.
165
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,963
Where do you think
all this compost comes from?
166
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,942
[ Earl Narrating ]
The third day, we learned...
167
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,111
these hippie people could
do some pretty amazing things.
168
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,313
So you guys can make
your own shirts?
169
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:09,316
We make a lot of our own
clothes on this loom.
170
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:13,153
Fruit of the Loom.
It all makes sense now.
171
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,158
[ Earl Narrating ]
And every day, we learned
when you grow your own food,
172
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,293
you get vegetables
at every meal,
173
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,830
even if they try
to fool you into thinkin'
it's something else.
174
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,065
Hey, that's a fine-looking
"burrito."
175
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,804
Ooh. "Pizza."
176
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:38,045
You gotta love beet loaf.
177
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:42,282
I need to eat an animal!
178
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,387
[ Earl Narrating ]
As the week went on,
Randy wasn't doin' well.
179
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,858
And by the sixth day,
I was really worried about him.
180
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:53,060
Hey, guys.
181
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,663
I hear you've been havin'
a little trouble unpluggin'
from the grid.
182
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:58,298
So I spoke to the gang.
We thought we'd give you
a little treat.
183
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,367
- You like the TV show Friends?
- Yeah.
184
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,203
We thought we'd put it on
for you, cheer you up a little.
Come on.
185
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:12,345
Hi, Joey.
Hi, Rachel.
How you doin'?
186
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,348
What's happenin'?
These are real people.
Where's the TV?
187
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:18,786
We don't have a TV,
but one of our members
was a huge fan.
188
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:21,221
Today's episode is loosely
based on what she remembers...
189
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,423
of "The One
With the Evil Orthodontist."
190
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,294
Hey! It's Chandler.
191
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,864
Hey, Chandler,
is it hot out today?
192
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:34,802
Could it be any hotter?
Whoa. Did I just say that
out loud?
193
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,871
Hey, Ross has a monkey.
194
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:40,974
Oh, man, I've seen
this episode. Chandler
hooks up with Monica.
195
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,343
[ All Groan ]
Ah, come on. Great.
196
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:47,214
This sucks!
I wanna watch real TV.
I want real food!
197
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:50,383
[ Clears Throat ]
Sorry, everyone.
When my brother gets hungry,
198
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:54,187
he gets kind of like an angry,
dizzy Hulk thing goin' on.
[ Grunting ]
199
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,123
That's the angry part.
200
00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,093
And that's the dizzy part.
201
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,896
[ Earl Narrating ]
Watching those weirdos
help Randy...
202
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,933
made me feel a little ashamed
for how I'd been judgin' them.
203
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,869
They were good people,
even if they were
a little nutty.
204
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:12,405
Whoa! Don't lick that.
205
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:15,175
But it smells like
butter and syrup.
206
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:18,712
It's potent stuff, man,
made from herbs and roots
from the woods.
207
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,313
Just put it on once a day, okay?
208
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,386
[ Chattering ]
209
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:39,199
Crazy day, huh?
Want some wine? We made it
out of grapes from our garden.
210
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,902
You guys make your own wine?
Mm-hmm.
211
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:45,072
I tried to make tequila once,
but I didn't know what was
in it besides worms.
212
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,975
It's pretty gross.
Still got me drunk though.
213
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:53,947
That is not bad.
214
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:56,016
I gotta say,
I don't get it, Woody.
215
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,186
You're all so smart.
Why you live in
such a dumb way?
216
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,421
Because it's good
for the environment.
If we want our children...
217
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,490
and our children's children
to keep livin' on Earth,
218
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,794
we gotta keep reducing
greenhouse gases
and reverse global warming.
219
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:11,765
You know what
global warming is, right?
220
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:15,035
[ Whispering ]
Chemistry, geography,
algebra,
221
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,404
vocabulary-- nope.
222
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:20,908
All right. Come with me. I want
to show you a presentation
I give at the high school.
223
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,843
** [ Rock ]
[ Earl Narrating ]
I hated high school...
224
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,912
and I tend
to hate presentations,
225
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,114
but to my surprise,
Woody's little show didn't suck.
226
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,216
...as a result
of fossil fuel use.
227
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,819
And if the glaciers keep melting
at this rate, in 20 years...
228
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:34,855
Camden County
will look like this!
229
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:39,226
Because of warming, deadly
diseases like West Nile
are spreading like wildfire...
230
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,262
and will kill you--
and do you want to die
a virgin?
231
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,966
Sorry. That's in there
for the high school kids.
Really shakes 'em up.
232
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:49,369
And this is what CO2 levels
will look like in 10 years.
You know what we do then?
233
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,072
Nothing, 'cause it'll be
too late. We'll all
just sit around...
234
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,975
and watch each other fry
like we're bugs in a zapper.
235
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,810
Poof! Poof! Poof, poof!
236
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,946
[ Earl Narrating ]
By the end, I was freakin' out.
237
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,915
And I could tell by the look
on Randy's face
he was freakin' out too.
238
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:05,953
* I'd love to change the world
239
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:09,222
Hey, this is messed up, man.
Does anybody else
know about this?
240
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,491
'Cause we should tell
the president.
People know.
241
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:14,361
They just don't want
to change.
Well, not me, Woody.
242
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,197
You've really opened my eyes.
243
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:20,333
Me and my brother are never
gonna look at the world
the same again. Right, buddy?
244
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,871
** [ Ends ]
245
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,210
[ Earl Narrating ]
When we finished our week
with Woody,
246
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,412
I was anxious
to get back to Camden
and start saving the planet.
247
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:39,586
Bye, Randy!
Nice bunkin' with ya.
248
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:43,023
Come back soon,
and I'll teach you yoga.
249
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,929
- See y'all later.
- Bye, Earl. Bye, boys.
250
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:53,166
This is exciting, huh?
I'm a changed man, Randy.
251
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,136
We're gonna start
livin' life different.
252
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,471
I already had
"been wasteful" on my list,
so it works out perfect.
253
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:09,449
I know, buddy.
I feel like
I'm dreamin' too.
254
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,985
You know what, Woody?
255
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:15,322
In honor of what I've learned,
I'm gonna save...
256
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,891
some of that CO2 stuff
and coast down the mountain.
257
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,427
[ Cheering, Applauding ]
258
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:23,363
[ Grunting ]
259
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:26,333
[ Murmuring ]
260
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,372
[ Man ] Keep going!
[ Woman ]
Do it!
261
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,207
[ Groans ]
262
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,652
I'll coast
after I get over this hump.
263
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,425
[ Vehicles Passing ]
264
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,627
Good. You're here.
265
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:57,965
I went through
the checklist Woody gave me
and got some things.
266
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:01,501
Florescent bulbs
that use less electricity.
267
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,971
Reusable hemp bags
for shoppin'.
268
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:08,241
And look: Shampoo that's not
tested on animals.
269
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,278
I feel bad for those
lab animals runnin' around
with dirty hair,
270
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,280
but if it's better
for the environment,
271
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,248
that's the sacrifice
they have to make.
272
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,253
[ Sighs ]
273
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:23,123
Look, Randy. I notice
you've been quiet recently,
274
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:27,060
and, well, I understand
how freaky this whole
global warmin' thing can be.
275
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:29,096
But don't you worry.
We're gonna fix it. Okay, buddy?
276
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,664
- [ Tapping ]
- Mm-hmm.
277
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,648
Hmm?
[ Muffled Grunt ]
278
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,518
[ Earl Narrating ]
I was feelin' so good
about savin' the planet,
279
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,720
I even gave up the biggest
status symbol an American has.
280
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,489
[ Horn Honks ]
Hey! Lance Dumbstrong!
281
00:15:56,523 --> 00:16:00,060
Don't you know ridin' bikes
gives you nut cancer?
282
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,729
- [ Laughs Loudly ]
- [ Exhaust Sputtering ]
283
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,698
[ Earl Narrating ]
That's when I realized
it didn't matter...
284
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:08,735
how ecological I was livin'
if Joy was gonna pollute
and cancel me out.
285
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,572
[ Fan Whirring ]
286
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:20,180
Why is your fridge open?
You're wastin' electricity.
287
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,282
- You're the one that took
the damn A.C.
- Look, Joy,
288
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,451
there's a thing
called global warmin',
and we gotta stop it.
289
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,254
What do you think
we're doin' in front of
the cold 'frigerator, dummy?
290
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:30,590
Move that thing!
Blowin' turtle sweat
all over me.
291
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:36,096
And did you know you had a can
of used oil in the front yard?
292
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,265
I know.
Darnell keeps forgettin'
to dump it in the creek.
293
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:41,401
You can't pour oil
in the creek.
If you do,
294
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,503
the bar graph goes up,
the pie chart gets bigger.
295
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,738
The next thing you know,
you got a big picture...
296
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,108
of the Earth with a sweaty
forehead and a sad face.
297
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,077
The Earth doesn't have
a face, stupid.
298
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,212
You're thinkin'
of the moon.
[ Scoffs ]
299
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:55,782
Fine. I'll take care
of the oil. I can't believe
you guys aren't more worried.
300
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:58,218
Even Randy's freaked out.
[ Gasps ]
301
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:01,488
- Darnell, you care about
global warmin', don't you?
- I do care.
302
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,424
I'm just not sure
global warming
is caused by man.
303
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:08,228
I think it's a bit
anthropocentric to think humans
could have that much effect.
304
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:11,131
[ Joy ] Yeah. I mean,
why's it always gotta be
the people's fault?
305
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,333
What about
what nature's doin' to us?
306
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,636
I saw a show the other day
where these two caribou
attacked an innocent hunter.
307
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,106
I mean, he shot him,
but still.
308
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,773
Those animals are vicious.
309
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,080
Are you lookin'
at my boobs, dummy?
310
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,420
[ Earl Narrating ]
I was frustrated
'cause I realized...
311
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:36,489
I was gonna have to double
my efforts to make up
for Joy canceling me out.
312
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,525
[ Spraying ]
Then it hit me.
313
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,161
I wasn't just bein'
canceled out by Joy.
314
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:44,331
* They paved paradise
Put up a parking lot *
315
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:47,134
I was bein' canceled out
by everyone.
[ Horn Honks ]
316
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:51,571
* With a pink hotel, a boutique
and a swingin' hot spot *
317
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:55,675
So I spent a couple days
tryin' to get people
to open their eyes.
318
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,345
But most just didn't
wanna listen.
Hey!
319
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:01,581
* They paved paradise
Put up a parking lot *
[ Chain Saw Revs ]
320
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:05,118
And the people who did listen
didn't seem to care.
321
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:08,221
Look, pal, they're putting
a cell phone tower in here.
Trees have gotta go. I'm sorry.
322
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,257
[ Bird Chirping ]
A cell phone tower?
But trees make air.
323
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,425
And look. There's a bird
livin' in one of them.
324
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,828
"But trees make air.
And look. There's a bird
livin' in one of them."
325
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,633
[ Earl Narrating ]
So I decided if people weren't
gonna change on their own,
326
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,170
well, I was gonna have
to make 'em change.
[ Air Hissing ]
327
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,705
I figured people couldn't
waste gas if I broke off
their air valves...
328
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,707
and their tires went flat.
329
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:31,811
** [ Vocalizing ]
330
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:34,681
* Hey, farmer, farmer
And they couldn't waste
electricity...
331
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,883
when they didn't
have that either.
332
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,386
* Give me spots on my apples
Here we go.
333
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,588
** [ Continues ]
334
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,292
Damn.
335
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,896
[ Earl Narrating ]
Lookin' back, I can see I was
losin' my mind a little.
336
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,332
- * Put up a parking lot
- [ Chirping ]
337
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:56,903
But I was on a mission
to save the world, and nothin'
was gonna stop me.
338
00:18:56,936 --> 00:19:00,240
* They paved paradise
Put up a parking lot *
339
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,242
** [ Vocalizing ]
340
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,344
* They paved paradise
341
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:08,348
It felt good to hit back
against all those
wasteful people.
342
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:11,184
* They paved paradise
Put up a parking lot *
343
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,186
** [ Woman Laughs ]
344
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,887
** [ Ends ]
345
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:23,230
Esto iba a ser yo
sacándome la cabeza
y limpiando el polvo con ella.
346
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:26,666
¡Pero los dibujos animados
son tan costosos!
347
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:30,237
Así mejor
me puedes ver bailar.
348
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,906
[ Blows ]
349
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:43,216
I made a difference today.
[ Chirping ]
350
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,352
Earl Hickey
made a difference.
351
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,855
And in a new report,
coal pollution from China...
352
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,324
is believed to contribute
to global warming...
353
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:55,628
more than all the cars
in major U.S. cities combined.
354
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,398
In a lighter note--
[ Earl Narrating ] And that
pushed me over the edge.
355
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,700
I wasn't bein' canceled out
by all the people in Camden.
356
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,802
I was bein' canceled out
by the whole world.
357
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:06,005
It doesn't matter what I do.
Millions of people
are undoin' it!
358
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,542
What, am I supposed to go
to China and convince everybody
to ride bicycles?
359
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,778
They'll never go for that.
We're all screwed, man!
360
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:15,348
Screwed!
361
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,318
And there's nothin' we're gonna
be able to do about it, buddy.
We're screwed, man, screwed!
362
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,219
Screwed!
363
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,756
[ Male Voice ]
Dude, your brother
is totally buggin' out.
364
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,626
[ Panting ]
365
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:30,630
[ Cheering, Shouting ]
366
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,533
Woody!
There's millions of 'em!
367
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,903
I can't stop everyone!
We're all gonna die!
368
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:40,039
Poof, poof!
Poof, poof, poof!
369
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,409
Poof, poof!
Joey, grab his legs.
We got a meltdown.
370
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,677
Poof, poof, poof, poof,
poof, poof, poof, poof--
371
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,746
** [ People Singing ]
372
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:50,350
* Michael
row the boat ashore *
373
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:54,354
* Hallelujah *
374
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,456
I think he's feeling
better, guys.
Thanks a lot.
375
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,727
I don't know
what to do, Woody.
376
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,931
I can't unknow what I know.
And I can't keep people from
doin' what they shouldn't do.
377
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,534
There's a lot in life you--
you can't control.
378
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:10,537
I mean, like, every time
it rains, our houses dissolve.
379
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:13,740
All you can do is keep feeding
the cows and rebuilding.
380
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:17,344
I want to move up here
with you guys.
At least you guys get it.
381
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:21,781
Look, Earl, I have the feeling
your list has really opened
your eyes to a lot of things.
382
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:25,418
You're startin' to see
all the bad things in the world
that need fixing.
383
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,787
But you're trying to take on
too much, man.
384
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,490
You can't fix
everything out there.
385
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:33,059
Your list is your destiny.
That's how you're gonna
change the world.
386
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:38,665
But what about
the fossilized fuels
in China?
387
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:41,434
Why are you thinkin'
about China?
388
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:43,970
Well, you know--
"Think global, act local."
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
389
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:47,507
That's your problem right there.
You're-- You're readin'
too many bumper stickers, man.
390
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:52,379
Don't try to think global.
You'll drive yourself crazy.
Think local.
391
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:55,047
Just take five minutes a day
to do something you wouldn't
normally do.
392
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:58,385
If everybody did that,
global warming wouldn't be
a problem. You dig?
393
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,690
Oh, and, uh, you know
what they said about, uh,
eatin' an apple a day?
394
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,693
Don't, 'cause they're loaded
with pesticides.
395
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,895
And whoever said laughter
was the best medicine...
396
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:11,398
never had gonorrhea.
397
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:16,102
[ Earl Narrating ]
Woody was right.
398
00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:18,938
I still had a bunch
of messes on my list
that needed cleanin' up...
399
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,973
before I try cleanin' up
the world.
400
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:23,376
And spendin' five minutes a day
helpin' the Earth--
401
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,445
well, it made me feel better,
402
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:27,714
even if it did get
my fingers a little sticky.
403
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:42,094
Plus, once I calmed down,
I think Randy started
feelin' better too.
404
00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:44,831
[ Sighs ]
405
00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:52,672
Hey, Earl.
406
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,574
Yeah, Randy?
407
00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:57,109
Who do you think
would win in a fight--
Muppets or Sesame Street?
408
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,848
I don't really think
they'd fight. They're both
pretty peaceful.
409
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,016
Well, what if they had to?
410
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:06,519
Like in that
head-choppin'-off movie
where there could be only one.
411
00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:08,621
Muppets.
412
00:23:10,657 --> 00:23:13,593
Okay. What about
Muppets or Fraggles?
413
00:23:15,127 --> 00:23:18,531
- Muppets.
- Okay. What about
Muppets or He-Man?
414
00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:21,734
- Just He-Man,
or He-Man and his friends?
- Just He-Man.
415
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,637
- Muppets.
- That's who I had.
416
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:28,207
- Good night, Earl.
- Good night, Randy.
417
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,176
Hey, Darnell.
418
00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,011
Yeah, Joy?
419
00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:34,981
Who do you think
would win in a fight--
your aunt or my mama?
420
00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:39,752
Well, your mom's a scrapper,
but my aunt's got reach.
I think I'd go with my aunt.
421
00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:41,888
What about your aunt
versus my dad?
422
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:44,824
Does he have a weapon?
Like a baseball bat
or somethin'?
423
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:46,793
Just chairs.
But they both have 'em.
424
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:49,629
Mmm. I'm still gonna have
to go with my aunt.
425
00:23:49,662 --> 00:23:52,164
Even if my cousins
got involved?
Yeah. I assumed...
426
00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:55,201
they would jump in as soon
as my aunt attacked your father
or mother or whatnot.
427
00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:58,938
Your aunt scares me,
Darnell.
Me too.
428
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:01,040
Maybe we shouldn't do
Thanksgiving this year.
429
00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:03,242
I was thinkin'
the same thing.
430
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,678
Good night, sweetie.
Good night, babe.
36721
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