Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:03,537
My name is Earl.
2
00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:06,374
[ Earl Narrating ]
Camden County
was having a heat wave.
3
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,509
Me and Randy wanted
to cool off in the pool.
4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,544
Unfortunately,
we weren't the only ones.
5
00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:13,114
When do you think the mice
are gonna be done swimmin'?
6
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,716
I think they are done, Randy.
They're just never gettin'
out of the pool.
7
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:19,187
We can soak our feet
in these, but my manager says...
8
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,589
we gotta put the ice
back in the machines
when we're finished.
9
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:24,292
I wish we had
air-conditioning.
10
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,327
[ Earl Narrating ]
What Randy said
got me thinkin'...
11
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,729
about someone else who probably
wished he had air-conditioning.
12
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:30,764
He's number 26 on my list.
13
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,270
A few years back
while Camden was in the middle
of another heat wave,
14
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:39,240
me and Randy were in the middle
of a crime wave.
15
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:42,310
Usually, we broke into houses
lookin' for cool stuff.
16
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:45,346
During the heat wave,
we were happy just to find cool.
17
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:49,117
[ Both Sigh ]
18
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,219
Man, if everyone
who had one of these...
19
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,321
would just open up
their doors and share,
20
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,323
we wouldn't have
this stupid heat wave.
21
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,358
I'm goin' shirts-up.
22
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,094
* Makin' a livin'
Hey.
23
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,662
* The old hard way
24
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,165
* Takin' and givin'
by day by day *
25
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,400
[ Both ]
Hey.
26
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:10,504
- * I dig snow and rain
and the bright sunshine *
- You guys want a sandwich?
27
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,773
[ Earl Narrating ]
Luckily for us,
Woody smoked a lot of weed,
28
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,509
and it never crossed his mind
we were burglars.
29
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,179
He just assumed we were
people he knew.
30
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:21,115
I could eat.
** [ Continues ]
31
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,883
[ Earl Narrating ]
The right and proper thing
to do...
32
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,119
would have been
to clean him out and move on.
33
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,255
But because of the heat wave,
34
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:30,291
we decided to rob him
one piece at a time
and enjoy the cool air.
35
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:32,726
- [ Both Grunt ]
- [ TV: Indistinct ]
36
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:37,598
* Draggin' the line
* Draggin' the line
37
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,402
[ Earl Narrating ]
We thought we were busted
for sure...
38
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,572
when Woody caught us
rollin' his fridge
through the living room.
39
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,608
But apparently something called
"the munchies" made it hard
for him to concentrate...
40
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:51,312
on things like,
well, where the hell he was.
41
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:55,383
* I'm gonna take my time
We even tried smokin' weed
for the first time,
42
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,385
but it wasn't for us.
[ TV: Sirens Wailing ]
43
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,753
I kept havin' to check
to see if I peed myself.
44
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,457
And poor Randy was so high,
he spent four and a half hours
lookin' for his nose.
45
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,626
Seriously, guys,
did you hide it from me?
46
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,666
[ Earl Narrating ]
Eventually, there was
only one thing left to steal.
47
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,236
* Peace of mind
48
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:19,707
* I'm gonna take my time
49
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:24,712
- Go, go, go!
- * I'm gettin' the good sign
50
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:28,316
Hey, Woody.
Uh, just adjustin'
the air here.
51
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:31,219
- * Draggin' the line
- * Draggin' the line
52
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,888
* Draggin' the line
[ Blowing ]
53
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:38,359
[ Earl Narrating ]
I was sad to leave,
but once we took the A.C.,
54
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,661
well, there was
no reason to stay.
55
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,896
* Draggin' the line *
56
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,333
Come on, Randy.
It's time to take care
of number 26.
57
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,968
I need to give that stoner guy
his A.C. back.
58
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,803
It's too hot.
I can't take it anymore!
59
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:57,445
Nice splash, Randy.
That got most
of the mice out.
60
00:02:57,478 --> 00:03:00,248
[ Earl Narrating ]
We sold everything we took
from Woody...
61
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,216
except for the A.C.,
which was still at Joy's.
62
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,252
- Hey, Crabman.
- Hey, Earl.
63
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,954
- What is that thing, a robot?
- My deaf lawyer said
if I could pass...
64
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,790
a lie detector test sayin'
I didn't steal that truck,
it'll help my case.
65
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,926
So I stole this old one
from a swap meet.
66
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,429
Don't bother tryin'
to explain the irony.
She doesn't see it.
67
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:19,800
Look, I got bad news. I need
to take your air conditioner
back to the guy I stole it from.
68
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,370
Well, you're out of luck.
We don't have
an A.C. anymore.
69
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,743
All right. We do have
an air conditioner,
70
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,645
but it's not the one
you stole.
71
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,850
Darnell, unhook me from
this thing so I can have
a normal conversation with Earl.
72
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,253
- Sorry, Joy. I'm takin' it.
- Fine.
73
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:42,022
It's got a nest
of yellow jackets in it anyway.
Hope you get stung.
74
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,359
Could you hook me up
to the machine and ask it
if I'm ever gonna get married?
75
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:47,495
Well, I can tell you
the answer to that.
[ Scoffs ]
76
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,367
[ Earl Narrating ]
We stopped by Woody's apartment,
but his landlord told us...
77
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:55,369
he'd moved out
a couple years before.
78
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:58,539
Luckily, he left
a forwarding address.
79
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,474
This is it.
80
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,615
[ Man ]
Pick it up for you.
81
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,687
[ Man Chattering ]
82
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,056
Man, these hippies
are crazy, Randy. That dude
just ate something...
83
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,393
- that was growin'
out of the ground.
- [ Bleats ]
84
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:23,297
You think that's weird.
There's a chick over there
squeezin' on a goat's ta-tas.
85
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:26,066
All right, look. We'll just
get this over with
and get out of here.
86
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,637
Uh-- [ Clears Throat ]
Excuse me.
Uh, excuse me.
87
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,440
Can I help you?
88
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:35,042
There's a naked old lady
in the bushes.
I know. Just don't panic.
89
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:38,078
What do we do? What do we do?
What do we do?
You're panicking. Don't panic!
90
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,748
Hello.
[ Clears Throat ]
91
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:45,486
Uh, ma'am, uh, we're lookin'
for a guy named Woody Maruzak.
92
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,055
He's over there
fixin' that house.
I'll show you.
93
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,358
No, no! Nope.
We'll find him.
94
00:04:56,397 --> 00:05:00,033
Woody?
Earl and Randy Hickey.
95
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,803
Hey!
Earl and Randy Hickey!
96
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,973
Look, I gotta warn you.
There's a naked old lady
in your bushes.
97
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,843
Oh, yeah. That's Nora.
She's a nudist.
Kinda weird, if you ask me.
98
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,846
Then again, it might be
a little weird that I live
in a dung cottage.
99
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,115
What's dung?
'Cause it smells like
cow ploppies.
100
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:19,587
Well, it's got cow ploppies
in it, along with straw
and a little mud for insulation.
101
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,656
Well, what do you know?
Cow crap houses.
102
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,825
That's, uh, interesting.
[ Flies Buzzing ]
103
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:28,962
Not interesting, Earl.
Crazy. He puts poo on his walls.
That's what crazy people do.
104
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,131
[ Earl Narrating ]
While Randy tried
to fight the smell,
105
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,834
I explained to Woody
about my list
and why I was there.
106
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,936
And it took a little longer
than normal...
107
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,739
'cause not all
of Woody's brain cells
had quite grown back yet.
108
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,141
[ Flies Buzzing ]
That is great.
That is really beautiful.
109
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,511
You've really changed
your life.
I'm proud of you.
110
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,880
[ Chuckles, Sighs ]
111
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:50,751
I gotta be honest though.
I have no idea who you are.
112
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:54,788
I don't know if you know this,
but I used to partake
a little bit in the doobage.
113
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,525
[ Earl Narrating ]
In fact, thanks to the drugs,
there were...
114
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,727
huge sections of Woody's life
he didn't remember...
115
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,864
until he woke up one day, out of
pot and accidentally sober.
116
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,800
They say you never change
your life until you really
hit bottom.
117
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:10,604
And it helps if you hit it
from a thousand feet up.
118
00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:14,074
That's when I quit drugs
and moved up here
to Sunshine Collective.
119
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:17,578
We're an off-the-grid commune,
totally self-sufficient.
120
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:21,915
Grow our own food and live
completely free of electricity.
[ Clicks Tongue ]
121
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:24,652
Man, that weed
stays in your system
a long time, doesn't it?
122
00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,920
Yeah.
Where do you want me
to put the A.C.?
123
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:30,658
And don't worry.
I'm gonna take you shoppin'
for the other stuff we stole.
124
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:34,728
No can do, Earl.
I don't need any of those
items of convenience anymore.
125
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:38,666
- But I gotta do somethin', or
I can't cross you off my list.
- Hmm. I can see your pickle.
126
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:41,635
Hmm. Well, how about this?
127
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:44,572
You and your brother,
you both seem like
you're pretty good polluters.
128
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:48,642
- What makes you say that?
- You've been here a half hour,
and your car's still running.
129
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,178
- [ Engine Rattling ]
- Oh, no. That's just
so we can keep the fan on.
130
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,615
We got a couple
Styrofoam cups of soda in it
we wanna keep cool.
131
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,918
How about this: Why don't
you stay with us for a week,
see what we're all about?
132
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,654
At the very least,
you'll reduce your eco-footprint
while you're here.
133
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:02,723
You sure you don't want
a radio or something?
134
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,925
We got one back at the motel
that doesn't even
take electricity.
135
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,927
You put batteries in it.
136
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,162
Sorry. That's all
I can think of.
137
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:12,733
Just one week, right?
Don't worry.
You're gonna love it.
138
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:16,870
Hey, Nora. You mind
if these boys bunk
with you for a few days?
139
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,706
I call middle.
140
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,552
[ Earl Narrating ]
The hippie camp
had straw mattresses,
141
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:35,122
which were actually comfortable
once you got used to the straw
pokin' in your back.
142
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,825
[ Rooster Crows ]
We should get outta here, Earl.
This place isn't natural.
143
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,828
You know what someone
told me last night? They said
they don't believe in plastic.
144
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,063
That's just crazy.
Plastic exists.
I've seen it.
145
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,499
We can't leave, Randy.
146
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:48,035
Sometimes I just have to deal
with strange people
on this list.
147
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,271
- [ Door Opens ]
- Mornin', dudes.
Time to get to work.
148
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,141
- Okay. See you
when you get back.
- No, no. You guys gotta work.
149
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:57,611
With you guys here, we got
two more mouths to feed.
Up and at 'em.
150
00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:01,949
You heard him.
[ Groans ]
Let's do this.
151
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,951
Five more minutes.
Come on, Randy.
152
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,219
Wakey, wakey, hands off--
153
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:09,957
Randy, Randy, Randy, there's
a snake. Randy, there's a--
Get up! There's a snake!
154
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,693
[ Earl Narrating ]
The first day, we learned
that being off the grid...
155
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,295
means that stuff
that should be easy
took a lot of work.
156
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:19,800
First, you search
the woods for fallen branches.
Then you drag them back here,
157
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,270
you debark the wood
for the mulch pile and you chop
the rest to fire up the boiler.
158
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:26,173
Then, after about three hours,
you got five minutes
of hot water.
159
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:29,142
And after you take your shower,
you clean the soot
from the boiler,
160
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:32,212
you put it in the ash pit,
and then we can make soap
out of it later.
161
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,819
Guess who won't be
takin' showers.
162
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,054
[ Earl Narrating ]
The second day,
163
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:45,192
we learned that stuff
that should be complicated
was way too simple.
164
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:48,128
- The bathroom
is a bucket, Earl.
- Of course it is, Randy.
165
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,963
Where do you think
all this compost comes from?
166
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,942
[ Earl Narrating ]
The third day, we learned...
167
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,111
these hippie people could
do some pretty amazing things.
168
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,313
So you guys can make
your own shirts?
169
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:09,316
We make a lot of our own
clothes on this loom.
170
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:13,153
Fruit of the Loom.
It all makes sense now.
171
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,158
[ Earl Narrating ]
And every day, we learned
when you grow your own food,
172
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,293
you get vegetables
at every meal,
173
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,830
even if they try
to fool you into thinkin'
it's something else.
174
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,065
Hey, that's a fine-looking
"burrito."
175
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,804
Ooh. "Pizza."
176
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:38,045
You gotta love beet loaf.
177
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:42,282
I need to eat an animal!
178
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,387
[ Earl Narrating ]
As the week went on,
Randy wasn't doin' well.
179
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,858
And by the sixth day,
I was really worried about him.
180
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:53,060
Hey, guys.
181
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,663
I hear you've been havin'
a little trouble unpluggin'
from the grid.
182
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:58,298
So I spoke to the gang.
We thought we'd give you
a little treat.
183
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,367
- You like the TV show Friends?
- Yeah.
184
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,203
We thought we'd put it on
for you, cheer you up a little.
Come on.
185
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:12,345
Hi, Joey.
Hi, Rachel.
How you doin'?
186
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,348
What's happenin'?
These are real people.
Where's the TV?
187
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:18,786
We don't have a TV,
but one of our members
was a huge fan.
188
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:21,221
Today's episode is loosely
based on what she remembers...
189
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,423
of "The One
With the Evil Orthodontist."
190
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,294
Hey! It's Chandler.
191
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,864
Hey, Chandler,
is it hot out today?
192
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:34,802
Could it be any hotter?
Whoa. Did I just say that
out loud?
193
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,871
Hey, Ross has a monkey.
194
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:40,974
Oh, man, I've seen
this episode. Chandler
hooks up with Monica.
195
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,343
[ All Groan ]
Ah, come on. Great.
196
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:47,214
This sucks!
I wanna watch real TV.
I want real food!
197
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:50,383
[ Clears Throat ]
Sorry, everyone.
When my brother gets hungry,
198
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:54,187
he gets kind of like an angry,
dizzy Hulk thing goin' on.
[ Grunting ]
199
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,123
That's the angry part.
200
00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,093
And that's the dizzy part.
201
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,896
[ Earl Narrating ]
Watching those weirdos
help Randy...
202
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,933
made me feel a little ashamed
for how I'd been judgin' them.
203
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,869
They were good people,
even if they were
a little nutty.
204
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:12,405
Whoa! Don't lick that.
205
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:15,175
But it smells like
butter and syrup.
206
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:18,712
It's potent stuff, man,
made from herbs and roots
from the woods.
207
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,313
Just put it on once a day, okay?
208
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,386
[ Chattering ]
209
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:39,199
Crazy day, huh?
Want some wine? We made it
out of grapes from our garden.
210
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,902
You guys make your own wine?
Mm-hmm.
211
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:45,072
I tried to make tequila once,
but I didn't know what was
in it besides worms.
212
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,975
It's pretty gross.
Still got me drunk though.
213
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:53,947
That is not bad.
214
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:56,016
I gotta say,
I don't get it, Woody.
215
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,186
You're all so smart.
Why you live in
such a dumb way?
216
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,421
Because it's good
for the environment.
If we want our children...
217
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,490
and our children's children
to keep livin' on Earth,
218
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,794
we gotta keep reducing
greenhouse gases
and reverse global warming.
219
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:11,765
You know what
global warming is, right?
220
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:15,035
[ Whispering ]
Chemistry, geography,
algebra,
221
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,404
vocabulary-- nope.
222
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:20,908
All right. Come with me. I want
to show you a presentation
I give at the high school.
223
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,843
** [ Rock ]
[ Earl Narrating ]
I hated high school...
224
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,912
and I tend
to hate presentations,
225
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,114
but to my surprise,
Woody's little show didn't suck.
226
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,216
...as a result
of fossil fuel use.
227
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,819
And if the glaciers keep melting
at this rate, in 20 years...
228
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:34,855
Camden County
will look like this!
229
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:39,226
Because of warming, deadly
diseases like West Nile
are spreading like wildfire...
230
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,262
and will kill you--
and do you want to die
a virgin?
231
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,966
Sorry. That's in there
for the high school kids.
Really shakes 'em up.
232
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:49,369
And this is what CO2 levels
will look like in 10 years.
You know what we do then?
233
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,072
Nothing, 'cause it'll be
too late. We'll all
just sit around...
234
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,975
and watch each other fry
like we're bugs in a zapper.
235
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,810
Poof! Poof! Poof, poof!
236
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,946
[ Earl Narrating ]
By the end, I was freakin' out.
237
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,915
And I could tell by the look
on Randy's face
he was freakin' out too.
238
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:05,953
* I'd love to change the world
239
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:09,222
Hey, this is messed up, man.
Does anybody else
know about this?
240
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,491
'Cause we should tell
the president.
People know.
241
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:14,361
They just don't want
to change.
Well, not me, Woody.
242
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,197
You've really opened my eyes.
243
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:20,333
Me and my brother are never
gonna look at the world
the same again. Right, buddy?
244
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,871
** [ Ends ]
245
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,210
[ Earl Narrating ]
When we finished our week
with Woody,
246
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,412
I was anxious
to get back to Camden
and start saving the planet.
247
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:39,586
Bye, Randy!
Nice bunkin' with ya.
248
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:43,023
Come back soon,
and I'll teach you yoga.
249
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,929
- See y'all later.
- Bye, Earl. Bye, boys.
250
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:53,166
This is exciting, huh?
I'm a changed man, Randy.
251
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,136
We're gonna start
livin' life different.
252
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,471
I already had
"been wasteful" on my list,
so it works out perfect.
253
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:09,449
I know, buddy.
I feel like
I'm dreamin' too.
254
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,985
You know what, Woody?
255
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:15,322
In honor of what I've learned,
I'm gonna save...
256
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,891
some of that CO2 stuff
and coast down the mountain.
257
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,427
[ Cheering, Applauding ]
258
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:23,363
[ Grunting ]
259
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:26,333
[ Murmuring ]
260
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,372
[ Man ] Keep going!
[ Woman ]
Do it!
261
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,207
[ Groans ]
262
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,652
I'll coast
after I get over this hump.
263
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,425
[ Vehicles Passing ]
264
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,627
Good. You're here.
265
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:57,965
I went through
the checklist Woody gave me
and got some things.
266
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:01,501
Florescent bulbs
that use less electricity.
267
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,971
Reusable hemp bags
for shoppin'.
268
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:08,241
And look: Shampoo that's not
tested on animals.
269
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,278
I feel bad for those
lab animals runnin' around
with dirty hair,
270
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,280
but if it's better
for the environment,
271
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,248
that's the sacrifice
they have to make.
272
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,253
[ Sighs ]
273
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:23,123
Look, Randy. I notice
you've been quiet recently,
274
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:27,060
and, well, I understand
how freaky this whole
global warmin' thing can be.
275
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:29,096
But don't you worry.
We're gonna fix it. Okay, buddy?
276
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,664
- [ Tapping ]
- Mm-hmm.
277
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,648
Hmm?
[ Muffled Grunt ]
278
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,518
[ Earl Narrating ]
I was feelin' so good
about savin' the planet,
279
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,720
I even gave up the biggest
status symbol an American has.
280
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,489
[ Horn Honks ]
Hey! Lance Dumbstrong!
281
00:15:56,523 --> 00:16:00,060
Don't you know ridin' bikes
gives you nut cancer?
282
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,729
- [ Laughs Loudly ]
- [ Exhaust Sputtering ]
283
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,698
[ Earl Narrating ]
That's when I realized
it didn't matter...
284
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:08,735
how ecological I was livin'
if Joy was gonna pollute
and cancel me out.
285
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,572
[ Fan Whirring ]
286
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:20,180
Why is your fridge open?
You're wastin' electricity.
287
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,282
- You're the one that took
the damn A.C.
- Look, Joy,
288
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,451
there's a thing
called global warmin',
and we gotta stop it.
289
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,254
What do you think
we're doin' in front of
the cold 'frigerator, dummy?
290
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:30,590
Move that thing!
Blowin' turtle sweat
all over me.
291
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:36,096
And did you know you had a can
of used oil in the front yard?
292
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,265
I know.
Darnell keeps forgettin'
to dump it in the creek.
293
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:41,401
You can't pour oil
in the creek.
If you do,
294
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,503
the bar graph goes up,
the pie chart gets bigger.
295
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,738
The next thing you know,
you got a big picture...
296
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,108
of the Earth with a sweaty
forehead and a sad face.
297
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,077
The Earth doesn't have
a face, stupid.
298
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,212
You're thinkin'
of the moon.
[ Scoffs ]
299
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:55,782
Fine. I'll take care
of the oil. I can't believe
you guys aren't more worried.
300
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:58,218
Even Randy's freaked out.
[ Gasps ]
301
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:01,488
- Darnell, you care about
global warmin', don't you?
- I do care.
302
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,424
I'm just not sure
global warming
is caused by man.
303
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:08,228
I think it's a bit
anthropocentric to think humans
could have that much effect.
304
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:11,131
[ Joy ] Yeah. I mean,
why's it always gotta be
the people's fault?
305
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,333
What about
what nature's doin' to us?
306
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,636
I saw a show the other day
where these two caribou
attacked an innocent hunter.
307
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,106
I mean, he shot him,
but still.
308
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,773
Those animals are vicious.
309
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,080
Are you lookin'
at my boobs, dummy?
310
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,420
[ Earl Narrating ]
I was frustrated
'cause I realized...
311
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:36,489
I was gonna have to double
my efforts to make up
for Joy canceling me out.
312
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,525
[ Spraying ]
Then it hit me.
313
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,161
I wasn't just bein'
canceled out by Joy.
314
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:44,331
* They paved paradise
Put up a parking lot *
315
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:47,134
I was bein' canceled out
by everyone.
[ Horn Honks ]
316
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:51,571
* With a pink hotel, a boutique
and a swingin' hot spot *
317
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:55,675
So I spent a couple days
tryin' to get people
to open their eyes.
318
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,345
But most just didn't
wanna listen.
Hey!
319
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:01,581
* They paved paradise
Put up a parking lot *
[ Chain Saw Revs ]
320
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:05,118
And the people who did listen
didn't seem to care.
321
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:08,221
Look, pal, they're putting
a cell phone tower in here.
Trees have gotta go. I'm sorry.
322
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,257
[ Bird Chirping ]
A cell phone tower?
But trees make air.
323
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,425
And look. There's a bird
livin' in one of them.
324
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,828
"But trees make air.
And look. There's a bird
livin' in one of them."
325
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,633
[ Earl Narrating ]
So I decided if people weren't
gonna change on their own,
326
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,170
well, I was gonna have
to make 'em change.
[ Air Hissing ]
327
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,705
I figured people couldn't
waste gas if I broke off
their air valves...
328
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,707
and their tires went flat.
329
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:31,811
** [ Vocalizing ]
330
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:34,681
* Hey, farmer, farmer
And they couldn't waste
electricity...
331
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,883
when they didn't
have that either.
332
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,386
* Give me spots on my apples
Here we go.
333
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,588
** [ Continues ]
334
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,292
Damn.
335
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,896
[ Earl Narrating ]
Lookin' back, I can see I was
losin' my mind a little.
336
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,332
- * Put up a parking lot
- [ Chirping ]
337
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:56,903
But I was on a mission
to save the world, and nothin'
was gonna stop me.
338
00:18:56,936 --> 00:19:00,240
* They paved paradise
Put up a parking lot *
339
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,242
** [ Vocalizing ]
340
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,344
* They paved paradise
341
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:08,348
It felt good to hit back
against all those
wasteful people.
342
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:11,184
* They paved paradise
Put up a parking lot *
343
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,186
** [ Woman Laughs ]
344
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,887
** [ Ends ]
345
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:23,230
Esto iba a ser yo
sacándome la cabeza
y limpiando el polvo con ella.
346
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:26,666
¡Pero los dibujos animados
son tan costosos!
347
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:30,237
Así mejor
me puedes ver bailar.
348
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,906
[ Blows ]
349
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:43,216
I made a difference today.
[ Chirping ]
350
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,352
Earl Hickey
made a difference.
351
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,855
And in a new report,
coal pollution from China...
352
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,324
is believed to contribute
to global warming...
353
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:55,628
more than all the cars
in major U.S. cities combined.
354
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,398
In a lighter note--
[ Earl Narrating ] And that
pushed me over the edge.
355
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,700
I wasn't bein' canceled out
by all the people in Camden.
356
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,802
I was bein' canceled out
by the whole world.
357
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:06,005
It doesn't matter what I do.
Millions of people
are undoin' it!
358
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,542
What, am I supposed to go
to China and convince everybody
to ride bicycles?
359
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,778
They'll never go for that.
We're all screwed, man!
360
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:15,348
Screwed!
361
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,318
And there's nothin' we're gonna
be able to do about it, buddy.
We're screwed, man, screwed!
362
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,219
Screwed!
363
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,756
[ Male Voice ]
Dude, your brother
is totally buggin' out.
364
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,626
[ Panting ]
365
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:30,630
[ Cheering, Shouting ]
366
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,533
Woody!
There's millions of 'em!
367
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,903
I can't stop everyone!
We're all gonna die!
368
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:40,039
Poof, poof!
Poof, poof, poof!
369
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,409
Poof, poof!
Joey, grab his legs.
We got a meltdown.
370
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,677
Poof, poof, poof, poof,
poof, poof, poof, poof--
371
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,746
** [ People Singing ]
372
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:50,350
* Michael
row the boat ashore *
373
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:54,354
* Hallelujah *
374
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,456
I think he's feeling
better, guys.
Thanks a lot.
375
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,727
I don't know
what to do, Woody.
376
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,931
I can't unknow what I know.
And I can't keep people from
doin' what they shouldn't do.
377
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,534
There's a lot in life you--
you can't control.
378
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:10,537
I mean, like, every time
it rains, our houses dissolve.
379
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:13,740
All you can do is keep feeding
the cows and rebuilding.
380
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:17,344
I want to move up here
with you guys.
At least you guys get it.
381
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:21,781
Look, Earl, I have the feeling
your list has really opened
your eyes to a lot of things.
382
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:25,418
You're startin' to see
all the bad things in the world
that need fixing.
383
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,787
But you're trying to take on
too much, man.
384
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,490
You can't fix
everything out there.
385
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:33,059
Your list is your destiny.
That's how you're gonna
change the world.
386
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:38,665
But what about
the fossilized fuels
in China?
387
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:41,434
Why are you thinkin'
about China?
388
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:43,970
Well, you know--
"Think global, act local."
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
389
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:47,507
That's your problem right there.
You're-- You're readin'
too many bumper stickers, man.
390
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:52,379
Don't try to think global.
You'll drive yourself crazy.
Think local.
391
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:55,047
Just take five minutes a day
to do something you wouldn't
normally do.
392
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:58,385
If everybody did that,
global warming wouldn't be
a problem. You dig?
393
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,690
Oh, and, uh, you know
what they said about, uh,
eatin' an apple a day?
394
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,693
Don't, 'cause they're loaded
with pesticides.
395
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,895
And whoever said laughter
was the best medicine...
396
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:11,398
never had gonorrhea.
397
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:16,102
[ Earl Narrating ]
Woody was right.
398
00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:18,938
I still had a bunch
of messes on my list
that needed cleanin' up...
399
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,973
before I try cleanin' up
the world.
400
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:23,376
And spendin' five minutes a day
helpin' the Earth--
401
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,445
well, it made me feel better,
402
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:27,714
even if it did get
my fingers a little sticky.
403
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:42,094
Plus, once I calmed down,
I think Randy started
feelin' better too.
404
00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:44,831
[ Sighs ]
405
00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:52,672
Hey, Earl.
406
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,574
Yeah, Randy?
407
00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:57,109
Who do you think
would win in a fight--
Muppets or Sesame Street?
408
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,848
I don't really think
they'd fight. They're both
pretty peaceful.
409
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,016
Well, what if they had to?
410
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:06,519
Like in that
head-choppin'-off movie
where there could be only one.
411
00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:08,621
Muppets.
412
00:23:10,657 --> 00:23:13,593
Okay. What about
Muppets or Fraggles?
413
00:23:15,127 --> 00:23:18,531
- Muppets.
- Okay. What about
Muppets or He-Man?
414
00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:21,734
- Just He-Man,
or He-Man and his friends?
- Just He-Man.
415
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,637
- Muppets.
- That's who I had.
416
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:28,207
- Good night, Earl.
- Good night, Randy.
417
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,176
Hey, Darnell.
418
00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,011
Yeah, Joy?
419
00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:34,981
Who do you think
would win in a fight--
your aunt or my mama?
420
00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:39,752
Well, your mom's a scrapper,
but my aunt's got reach.
I think I'd go with my aunt.
421
00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:41,888
What about your aunt
versus my dad?
422
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:44,824
Does he have a weapon?
Like a baseball bat
or somethin'?
423
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:46,793
Just chairs.
But they both have 'em.
424
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:49,629
Mmm. I'm still gonna have
to go with my aunt.
425
00:23:49,662 --> 00:23:52,164
Even if my cousins
got involved?
Yeah. I assumed...
426
00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:55,201
they would jump in as soon
as my aunt attacked your father
or mother or whatnot.
427
00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:58,938
Your aunt scares me,
Darnell.
Me too.
428
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:01,040
Maybe we shouldn't do
Thanksgiving this year.
429
00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:03,242
I was thinkin'
the same thing.
430
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,678
Good night, sweetie.
Good night, babe.
36721
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof