All language subtitles for My.Name.Is.Earl.S02E07.1080p.WEBRip.x265-KONTRAST

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,375 Was there another shoot-out? No. 2 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:09,777 Some drunk guys tried to shoot down a hot air balloon. 3 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,780 They got it on fire, then it drifted out of sight. 4 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,216 What's with the tiny suit? Well, a few years back, 5 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:18,752 I used to think it was funny to get drunk and pull wigs off old ladies' heads. 6 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:22,756 [ Giggles ] They were always like-- [ Sobbing ] 7 00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:25,226 Anyway, I was at the beauty parlor making up for it, 8 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:27,295 and one of the old ladies was so grateful, 9 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,797 she gave me her dead husband's best suit as a thank-you. 10 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,434 - I think it's too small. - But she said he was my size before he started shrinking. 11 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:36,470 I figure, in 40 years, it'll fit perfect. 12 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:40,574 You always get a good feeling from what you do-- or a suit. 13 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:44,478 I spent my morning sweeping up bullet casings and a variety of fancy cheeses. 14 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,481 - Fancy cheeses? - The people in the hot air balloon fought back. 15 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,218 I caught a cell phone and a shoe. 16 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:53,554 I feel bad for you, Catalina. Tell you what. 17 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:56,790 You can do a list item with me. You might get a good feelin'. 18 00:00:56,857 --> 00:01:00,628 Or a dead man's suit. Thank you. I'd love to. 19 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:04,265 [ Cell Phone Rings ] 20 00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:09,337 Hello. [ Man ] Is Penelope there? 21 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,539 No, she's not. [ Indistinct ] 22 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:15,476 Last time I saw her, she was floatin' towards the freeway. Thank you. 23 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,479 Wonder how you change the ringer on this thing. 24 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,814 My name is Earl. 25 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,020 [ Earl Narrating ] Catalina was excited to help me with my list... 26 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,124 'cause she was hopin' doin' somethin' good would make her feel good. 27 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,627 I guess karma's contagious. We were takin' care of number 75-- 28 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:37,598 - used the mailbox as a trash can. - [ Both Groaning ] 29 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:41,535 Ew! It smells like that stab wound you wouldn't get looked at. 30 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,504 [ Earl Narrating ] A couple years back, 31 00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:45,973 they moved the Dumpster across the road in the trailer park. 32 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:49,477 It was more convenient for the trashmen but less convenient for me and Randy. 33 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:56,517 And because things that are easy become habit, 34 00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:59,052 pretty soon we were usin' the mailbox for all our trash. 35 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,390 We knew it was wrong, but we were lazy. 36 00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,560 I found some letters. 37 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,896 I think they've been stuck for a while. 38 00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,734 Shamrock milk shake. That was a good day. 39 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,537 Oh, man. These letters never got delivered because of us. 40 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:19,473 We gotta give 'em back to the people who sent 'em. 41 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,709 This kind of thing happens all the time on the list. 42 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:24,878 You're doin' one thing, and bam, it's somethin' else. 43 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:29,016 If you'd been watchin' him do this as long as I have, you'd know that. 44 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:32,620 I'm kind of second in charge of the list. 45 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:35,356 [ Earl Narrating ] Since Randy was the one drinkin' shamrock flavor, 46 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:39,460 he agreed to take his letter back, while me and Catalina took care of chocolate. 47 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,229 It was never delivered? 48 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:44,232 This is a love letter to a woman that I worked with, 49 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,567 and when she didn't respond to me, I was humiliated. 50 00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:49,470 I quit my job so I wouldn't have to face her again! 51 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,939 Should we run? No, this happens sometimes with the list. 52 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,174 - He'll be fine. - Damn it! 53 00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:59,913 You might want to take a couple steps back. 54 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,817 [ Giggling ] 55 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:06,587 Hey, Joy, can you help me? Only thing that'll help your... 56 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,922 worthless-never-achieve- anything-in-your- waste-of-breath-life... 57 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:12,260 is if somebody drowned you in a river. [ Chuckles ] 58 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,664 I'm just giving you a hard time, sweetie. What you need? 59 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,700 I'm tryin' to return this letter for Earl's list, 60 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,869 but the address has a shamrock smudge. 61 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,938 I've been askin' everyone in the trailer park to help me figure out who wrote it. 62 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:28,609 That's easy. Earl says it's illegal to open other people's mail. 63 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,811 That's the good thing about havin' three strikes. 64 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:34,147 You don't have to worry about the stupid laws anymore. Wish I had three strikes. 65 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,949 You will someday. 66 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,754 What the-- Darnell! 67 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:45,493 You want to tell me why I have a Witness Protection Program letter... 68 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,796 sayin' that your real name is Harry Monroe? Uh, I don't know. 69 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,864 [ Earl Narrating ] That was a lie. In fact, 70 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,967 Darnell had an entire past he'd never told Joy anything about. 71 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,770 As soon as you get out of this van, you become Darnell Turner. 72 00:03:56,837 --> 00:04:00,040 All the documents you need-- birth certificate, driver's license, et cetera-- 73 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,975 are in this envelope. 74 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,977 Cool. 75 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:08,248 What do you mean, "I don't know"? 76 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,584 Okay. My real name is Harry Monroe, 77 00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,686 and the Witness Protection Program moved me to Camden County... 78 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,088 because there was a mix-up in the paperwork. 79 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:18,225 Some tobacco company executive ended up in Compton. 80 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,260 - He only lasted two days. - Wait a minute. 81 00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:22,262 Is Mr. Turtle in the program too? 82 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:25,799 Is he even really a turtle, or is he a lizard disguised in a shell? 83 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,336 -It doesn't go that deep, Randy. -Look, Mr. Whatever-Your-Name-Is. 84 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:32,205 I am not gonna live with a stranger. For all I know, you could be the Son of Sam killer. 85 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,343 So either you tell me who you really are, or find another place to live. 86 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,745 Sorry, baby. I can't. 87 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:51,425 [ Earl Narrating ] After Will punched three more holes in his trailer, 88 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,427 he cried a little, then invited us in. 89 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:56,029 This is such a beautiful letter. 90 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:59,467 "I know we're friends, but sometimes it seems like something more. 91 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,802 [ Mouthing Words ] "Give me a sign about how you feel. 92 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,737 Love, your buddy." 93 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,142 I never knew where I stood with Wendy. 94 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,011 We'd talk on the phone for hours, 95 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,447 we'd go to the movies, but whenever we'd say good-bye, 96 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,315 she'd kiss me on my cheek. 97 00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:18,519 - What was the kiss like? Show me. - Yeah. 98 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,254 No, not on me. I can't see it if you do it on me. 99 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,957 Do it on Earl. 100 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,706 Yeah. It seems like she liked you. 101 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:42,342 I don't know. It was halfway between the ear and the lips. It could go either way. 102 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,445 Yeah. See? That's what I'm talkin' about. 103 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:48,682 And then look at this CD she burned me. 104 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,718 "Feel Like Making Love." Nice. 105 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:53,387 "You're My Best Friend." 106 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,756 "Stroke Me." You're lookin' good again. 107 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:58,058 "That's What Friends Are For," 108 00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:01,429 "You Got a Friend" and "Ooh, Ooh, That Smell." 109 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,831 This girl is definitely hard to read. 110 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,700 But now that you got the letter, you could give it another try. 111 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,670 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't give her that letter now. 112 00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:12,673 We used to work together as personal trainers. 113 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,609 No, when Wendy knew me, I looked like that. 114 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:19,112 Oh, my God. You used to be hot. 115 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,148 What happened to you? 116 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,083 Uh, don't mind her. 117 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,753 Uh, she's new with helpin' people, and, uh, her life sucks. 118 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,888 She came to this country in a box. 119 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:31,559 You look like this guy's skinny, ugly, homeless brother. 120 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,994 Uh, it was a small box, built for a monkey. 121 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,667 [ Earl Narrating ] Catalina wanted me to keep the letter while Will got in shape. 122 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:43,437 She was afraid he might deliver it without her, and she'd miss out on her good feelin'. 123 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,073 [ TV: Chattering ] Where have you been? 124 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:50,177 Tracked down the letter dude. Then I drove Catalina to Club Chubby for her shift. 125 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,746 Did you know they have a dancer in a wheelchair now? 126 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:57,017 It's kinda different. Like, for a lap dance, you sit on her lap. 127 00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:00,754 And if you give her a good tip, she wheels you out to your car. 128 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,525 [ Toilet Flushes ] 129 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,861 - Hey, Earl. - Hey, Crabman. 130 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,866 What's Crabman doin' here in his p.j.'s? 131 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,202 Oh, he's in the Witness Protection Program, 132 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,805 and Joy found out because of the letter I delivered, 133 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,107 and Darnell wouldn't tell Joy why he's in the program. 134 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,876 So Joy threw him out, and I told him he could live here. 135 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:26,113 Fair enough. I'll ask for extra towels tomorrow. 136 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,449 - Good night, Crabman. - Good night, Earl. 137 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,488 [ All Snoring ] [ Banging ] 138 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,990 Is it the witness protectors? 139 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:40,961 No. They're very polite. They usually hit my pager before they come over. 140 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:43,864 What about the people they're witness-protectin' you from? 141 00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,399 I'd imagine they'd knock and then start shootin' when they see me. 142 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,468 All right. You better hide then. 143 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,043 Will? I'm havin' a bad night, Earl. 144 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,612 I heard Wendy's still single, and I started to think, 145 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,081 what if she meets a guy before I get back into shape? 146 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:04,084 Hmm? 147 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:08,388 Oh, I'm sorry. You're havin' a little private thing. 148 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:12,159 Oh, no, no, no, no. That-That-That's just my brother. We share a room. 149 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,927 They don't have rooms with two beds here? 150 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,429 They do, but not with a pool view. 151 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,566 But look. It's not weird. We're family. 152 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:26,339 Oh, right. Uh, that's our friend Darnell. He's, uh, spendin' the night. 153 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,242 He's, uh, under the covers 'cause, uh-- 154 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:35,048 Look, buddy. Don't worry about Wendy. 155 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,618 It's not like she's gonna fall in love overnight. Love takes time. 156 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,286 I disagree, Earl. 157 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:43,456 When I fall for someone, it happens in an instant. 158 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,292 Your lover's right. 159 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,561 If she falls for someone, I could lose her forever. 160 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,630 What am I gonna do if I lose her forever? 161 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,064 He could lose her forever, Earl. 162 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,933 I heard him. I can't lose her again. 163 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,168 - He can't lose her again. - If I lose her forever, 164 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,337 you'll never be able to cross me off your list. 165 00:08:57,404 --> 00:09:00,040 How you gonna cross me off your list if she finds another guy? I don't know. 166 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,009 The list! I forgot about the list. 167 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,944 - What are you gonna do, Earl? - I don't know. 168 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,013 - You have to know! - What are we gonna do? 169 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,248 - Answer him, Earl! - I told you. I don't know. 170 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,417 Earl. 171 00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,285 Why don't you just go down to the gym... 172 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:15,022 and keep an eye on Wendy until Will's ready to talk to her? 173 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:18,025 Oh. Smart and handsome. I can see why you're with him. 174 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,093 [ Earl Narrating ] So I took Darnell's advice... 175 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,896 and went to the gym Wendy worked at to keep an eye on her. 176 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:26,867 I'd like to try that two weeks free Better Badonkadonk Bonanza membership thing. 177 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:29,236 I even requested Wendy as my personal trainer. 178 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,805 I already knew my way around a gym, but I figured... 179 00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:35,776 it would be an easy way to keep guys away from her. Hey. Are you Earl Hickey? 180 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:40,714 Problem was, I didn't know how I was gonna protect her from me. 181 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,816 [ Voice Cracking ] Yeah, I'm Earl Hickey. 182 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,291 [ TV: Chattering ] 183 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,566 I got a problem. This Wendy chick is pretty hot. 184 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,235 [ Earl Narrating ] Not just any kind of hot. The kind of hot... 185 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,938 that makes you walk up stairs to nowhere long past the point... 186 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:07,507 when you realized you should've worn something more supportive. 187 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:11,879 Wow. You're really kicking ass. Yeah, well, I've been walkin' up stairs my whole life. 188 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,981 Sometimes two at a time. [ Chuckles ] 189 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:17,084 And she wasn't just hot either. She was cool. 190 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:20,587 So, AC/DC, huh? I met those dudes once. 191 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,723 Seriously? Yeah. My mom was... 192 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:26,293 one of the groupies Bon Scott was doin' around the time that he died. 193 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,729 She brought me to Bon's funeral. Get out of town. 194 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:31,431 Honest to God. I even got a picture with him. 195 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,901 It was open casket. [ Mouths Word ] 196 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:39,106 Guys, I think I like Wendy. 197 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,875 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. 198 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:45,512 No, that's Will's girl. You can't do this to me, Earl. You can't screw up my only chance... 199 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,015 to cross something off your list and get a good feeling. 200 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,718 I need this in my life. I scrub toilets all day, and at night... 201 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,786 I dance for drunk losers who flick nickels at my ass. 202 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,654 I'm going crazy. 203 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:57,157 I need to feel good about something before I kill someone again. 204 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:04,097 What? 205 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,999 You said you were gonna kill someone. 206 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,802 It's a figure of speech. "I'm gonna kill someone." 207 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:12,172 Yeah, but you, uh-- You said "again." 208 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:15,042 You did. You said "kill someone again." 209 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,411 Okay. Fine. So long as we're looking under rocks, 210 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,714 why are you sharing a bed with the Crabman? 211 00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,850 Hey, hey, hey. Don't drag me into this, girl. 212 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:27,654 Look. Relax. I said I like her. I didn't say I was gonna do anything about it. 213 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,656 Besides, it's not like she likes me back. 214 00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:33,360 Fine. But if you think she starts liking you, you better back off. 215 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,729 You're not messing this up for me, Earl. You understand? 216 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,865 I understand. 217 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,035 [ Whispers ] Murderer. 218 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,437 - What? - What? Oh, nothin'. 219 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,844 [ Door Opens, Closes ] 220 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:54,547 - How are things goin' with Joy? - Not so good. 221 00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:57,617 [ Earl Narrating ] In fact, Joy was so mad that no matter what Darnell tried, 222 00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:01,121 she wouldn't take him back until he told her the truth. [ All Harmonizing ] * Joy * 223 00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,256 [ Synthesized Voice ] * Joy ** 224 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:09,196 I love you, baby. [ High-pitched Voice ] I love you, baby. 225 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,435 I can't bear to be without you. 226 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,206 I'm sorry, babe. I got it at a costume shop. 227 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:22,442 For some reason, it seemed like it was gonna be a good idea. 228 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,912 [ Earl Narrating ] So I went back to keepin' guys away from Wendy. 229 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:29,349 But the more I did it, the more I wondered if I was doin' it to help Will or to help me. 230 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,553 - Aaah! - Oh, my-- my bad. 231 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:37,057 Uh, you should put some ice on that before it leaves a mark. 232 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,426 I knew it didn't matter if I was attracted to her... 233 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,295 as long as she didn't start becomin' attracted to me. 234 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:46,233 And I thought I was in the clear until she made me a mix CD. 235 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:50,103 Listen to this. "Feel Like Making Love." 236 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,873 "You're My Best Friend." "Do Me." 237 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,775 "Don't Do Me Like That." "I Want Your Sex." 238 00:12:55,843 --> 00:13:00,013 "Don't Stand So Close to Me." This girl's impossible to read. Yeah. 239 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,115 George Michael with Tom Petty? 240 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,117 Are we partyin' or just hangin' out? 241 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,889 [ Earl Narrating ] One time when her car was in the shop, 242 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,491 I gave her a ride home, and she kissed me. 243 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:16,063 But it was exactly halfway between my cheek and my ear. 244 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,267 Things were gettin' hard to read. 245 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:24,137 But when Wendy came by to use the pool, everything became a lot clearer. 246 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,375 Anytime a girl almost pulls her arms out of their sockets... 247 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,144 instead of askin' a guy to help with the lotion, well, they're just friends. 248 00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,947 You want some help? Nope. I got it. 249 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:37,750 - [ Pager Beeping ] - Oh, crap. That's work. 250 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:42,022 Hey. Can I use your phone? Sure. Upstairs, next to the room with the chalk outline. 251 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,327 [ Earl Narrating ] I was a little hurt she didn't like me. 252 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,496 I knew it was probably for the best, 253 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:53,700 but it always hurts when someone doesn't like you as much as you like them. 254 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:58,405 Still, it was a relief when I realized I hadn't screwed everything up for Will. 255 00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,840 I brought your shoes. 256 00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:03,911 There's a turtle livin' here lately, and he likes to go for toes. 257 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:06,713 Earl, this letter-- 258 00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:10,283 You read it? Uh, listen. I can explain. 259 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,053 You weren't supposed to see that yet. See-- 260 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:16,056 "Give me a sign about how you feel. Love, your buddy." 261 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,293 Well, how's this for a sign, buddy? 262 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:25,598 That's when I realized-- she didn't know the letter was from Will. 263 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,201 Sorry. 264 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,337 Sorry to be so forward. I, um-- 265 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,672 I once let a great guy I work with slip away... 266 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:37,577 because I was too scared to show him how I felt. Did ya now? 267 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:40,180 [ Earl Narrating ] Wendy told me about makin' Will a mix CD... 268 00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:44,952 and how she was too scared to give him the first one she made that was all love songs. 269 00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:49,356 She talked about how stupid she felt for bein' too scared to ever kiss Will on the lips. 270 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,463 [ Frustrated Groan ] The more Wendy talked, 271 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:59,099 the more I realized she had deep feelings for Will. 272 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,969 I was doin' all the same stupid stuff with you. 273 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:05,405 I was even too scared to ask you to help me put lotion on my back. 274 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:08,708 So, this-- this guy-- this Will-- 275 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,511 you-- you loved him? 276 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,982 Yeah, but he disappeared. I don't know what happened to him. 277 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:19,286 [ Earl Narrating ] I knew at that moment I could make two people very happy. 278 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,654 And one of those people was gonna be me. 279 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,690 Well, his loss. 280 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,627 I knew I should've told the truth, but, well, sometimes that's hard to do. 281 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,863 Especially when you have a teeny bit of someone else's tongue in your mouth. 282 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,133 [ Clears Throat ] 283 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,969 Oh, I guess they want to clean your room. 284 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,971 Well, I gotta get back to work anyway. 285 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:42,142 Hey, maybe later we can meet up at the Crab Shack and finally have a real date. 286 00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:45,545 [ Whispers ] And then maybe work our way back here. 287 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,320 That was Wendy, wasn't it? Oh, let me guess. 288 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,956 [ Latin Accent ] "In my village, you don't kiss women of men you're trying to help." 289 00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,826 This is America. Love it or leave it, sister. 290 00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,461 You're gonna hate yourself for this. 291 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:04,631 Then when you go to Hallmark to get a card to make up for it, 292 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:07,500 you're not gonna find one because it is too specific. 293 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:14,641 When you go into the Witness Protection Program, do they let you pick your own name? 294 00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:19,679 'Cause if I ever witness anything, I'm gonna name myself Crash Fistfight. 295 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,349 Damn. That's a good one. 296 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,452 Oh, no. 297 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,161 That woman's lost her mind. 298 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:47,374 What the hell were you thinkin', plastering my face on that thing? 299 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,777 If you have information about the missin' person, please call the number on the billboard. 300 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,050 Let me in for five minutes so we can talk. 301 00:16:57,117 --> 00:17:00,787 I don't want to teach my boys it's okay to let strangers in the house. 302 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:05,325 Joy, you have to take that thing down. 303 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,560 As soon as you tell me who you are, I will. 304 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,464 Dang it, baby. I can't. 305 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:16,736 When I was Harry Monroe, I had to give up everything because of what I knew, and I didn't care. 306 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,606 But if I tell you my secret now, I could lose everything again. 307 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:23,476 And this time I do care, because I love you. 308 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:27,114 I can't start my life over without you. Don't you understand? 309 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:31,118 I can't tell you the truth because I love you too much, stupid. 310 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,522 Joy! 311 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,674 I love you too, stupid. 312 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:05,118 Promise you'll never kill me? Promise. 313 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,254 [ Cell Phone Rings ] 314 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,325 Hello. 315 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:15,328 Yes, I know that's Darnell Turner. 316 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,864 No. There's no reward, Randy. 317 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:26,906 [ Earl Narrating ] When I got to the Crab Shack, 318 00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:30,310 I knew I was doin' wrong 'cause I had that tingly feelin' in my gut... 319 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:32,845 I used to get before breakin' into a house. Hey. 320 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:36,449 Hey. I put in 10 bucks of Skynyrd. I hope that's okay. 321 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,918 I hope you didn't put it all on D-4, 322 00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:41,854 'cause it says "Free Bird," but it's really "Let's Hear It for the Boy." 323 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,459 Will? 324 00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:49,696 Hi, Wendy. Oh, God, look at me. 325 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:53,300 All of this. I didn't think I'd ever see you again. 326 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:56,068 What the hell happened? You just disappeared. 327 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,738 I'm sorry. I sent you a letter, but it never got there, 328 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,274 but I thought it did, so I thought you didn't like me. 329 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:04,677 Then I found out you didn't get the letter, so I was gettin' in shape so I could talk to you. 330 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,779 Then this little Mexican lady told me... 331 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,882 I had to tell you how I felt or I might lose you forever. I love you. 332 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:13,786 Oh, my God, Will. Why didn't you ever say so? 333 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,589 I'm so happy. 334 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:20,227 Come on. We need to leave these two to talk. 335 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,929 I'll buy you a beer. 336 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:26,966 You messed with my list item. No, you messed with your list item. 337 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:30,303 I just fixed it for you before you ruined it for everybody. 338 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:34,341 I also did something very bad to your toothbrush. Don't ask. Just throw it out. 339 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,783 I can see why you do your list. 340 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,254 It is a very good feeling. 341 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,056 [ Earl Narrating ] That's when I learned that sometimes with the list... 342 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:53,860 other people get the good feelin', and I just feel like I've been punched in the gut. 343 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,829 And although Catalina probably did the right thing, 344 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,266 well, it didn't mean I was happy with her. 345 00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:07,139 It had been a long week for everybody, 346 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,977 and Darnell was happy that the billboard was down and Joy had taken him back. 347 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,547 We're glad you're back, Daddy. It's good to be back. 348 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,818 But he still had a secret. 349 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,020 A secret he was just itchin' to tell. 350 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:23,690 Will you tell us a bedtime story? 351 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:27,427 Yeah. I think I have a story I could tell you. 352 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:34,233 Once upon a time, there was a man named Harry Monroe-- 353 00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:36,703 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 30111

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.