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1
00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:03,537
My name is Earl.
2
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:08,642
We did it.
Two beers, Crab Man.
3
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,478
You got it, Earl.
4
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:14,482
[ Earl Narrating ] Every time
I cross something off my list,
I get a good feeling inside.
5
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:18,719
Here's to crossing off
number 57-- gave Randy
a swirly when he was five.
6
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:22,290
[ Earl Narrating ]
And this time, Randy got
that good feeling too.
7
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:28,096
[ Gurgling ]
8
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,465
Thanks for cleaning the toilet
before I let Randy
stick my head in it.
9
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,567
No problem. The last guy who got
his head stuck in the toilet...
10
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,503
caught some disease
only bats get.
11
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:38,406
Is that that guy
who always hangs upside down
in the bathroom?
12
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,642
No, that's Hector.
Question, Earl.
13
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,245
How do you decide
what you're gonna do next
on your list?
14
00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:46,314
If it's too personal,
I'll mind my own beeswax.
15
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,949
Well, uh, sometimes karma
gives me a sign,
16
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,585
other times I just
pick one at random.
17
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:55,223
And sometimes he lets me pick,
but I get a little freaked out
when I play God.
18
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,391
That's why I also don't vote
on American Idol.
19
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,993
- Can I pick one?
- Sure, go ahead.
20
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:04,598
- I just did-- one.
- You don't dillydally,
Crab Man. I respect that.
21
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,834
One it is.
22
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:10,304
[ Earl Narrating ] As you
might imagine, number 1 on
my list was kind of special--
23
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,973
stole $10 from a guy
at the Camden Market.
24
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,877
It was the last bad thing I did
before I discovered karma.
25
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:22,150
It was about nine months ago.
Low on funds, I was about to
steal 16 ounces of breakfast,
26
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,185
when all of a sudden,
fate smiled on me.
27
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:39,200
Five minutes later, I scratched
off the lottery ticket that
would change my life forever.
28
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,971
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Screaming ]
29
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,675
- [ Tires Squealing ]
- It would also lacerate
my spleen and pop my lung.
30
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:50,411
Stealing that guy's $10
was the last straw.
31
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,446
Karma had
had enough.
32
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,484
Thanks, Crab Man.
It's about time
I did number 1.
33
00:01:56,550 --> 00:02:00,188
Good luck with that. And I hope
I scrubbed that bat disease
out of that toilet.
34
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:04,091
But if you start seeing
with your ears and whatnot,
get to a doctor.
35
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,826
[ Earl Narrating ]
In my criminal days,
36
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,696
Iqball's surveillance cameras
were a pain in my ass.
37
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:13,934
But since I never saw the guy's
face I stole the 10 bucks from,
I was lucky he kept the tapes.
38
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:18,138
Thanks for doing this,
Iqball. I think it happened
around 11:00.
39
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,042
11:00.
40
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:24,878
[ Earl Narrating ]
I was also lucky I knew someone
who spoke Bengali.
41
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,848
[ Speaking Bengali ]
42
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,787
[ Bengali ]
43
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,990
That's impressive, Patty.
44
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:41,562
I spent the early part
of my 20s doing exotic
sex shows in Calcutta.
45
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:44,265
The pay was good, but when
the opium buzz wears off,
46
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:49,169
and you're standing there naked
with a tambourine in one hand
and a tiger's junk in the other,
47
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,772
it's time for a young girl
to come home.
48
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:58,145
- Hey, there you are, Patty.
- [ Bengali ]
49
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,348
He wants you to
fast-forward this part.
50
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,083
There's nothin' to be
ashamed of, Iqqy.
51
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,786
We've all got
our kinky little secrets.
52
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,889
[ Bengali ]
53
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,569
[ Whispering ]
How long does this go on?
54
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:25,406
[ Whispering ] You'll know it's
over when he brushes my hair
and feeds me a sugar cube.
55
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,652
Hey, there I am.
56
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,723
- That's him. That's the guy.
- [ Patty ]
I know him.
57
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,793
That's Paul.
He's the delivery guy
at Charlie's Pizza.
58
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,629
- We're in the same book club.
- [ Iqball Laughs ]
59
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:52,666
[ Iqball Chuckles,
Speaks Bengali ]
60
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,703
[ Bengali ]
61
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:59,840
Iqball says that guy
didn't have any money
to buy anything.
62
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,675
[ Laughing Continues ]
63
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,913
[ Earl ]
Wait a second.
64
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:10,318
He was gonna buy a lotto ticket
with that money?
Yeah.
65
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:15,188
I bought his lotto ticket.
The winning lotto ticket
was supposed to be his.
66
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:19,293
[ Earl Narrating ]
That's when I realized
I didn't just owe this guy $10--
67
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,629
I owed him every penny I have.
68
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:30,571
As soon as I realized
the lottery money was supposed
to belong to someone else,
69
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:35,509
I went to the bank
and got out what I had left
after Uncle Sam took his share.
70
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,279
That's a lot of money
to give away.
71
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,482
Am I being crazy?
72
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,852
Yes. I think you got one of them
brain worms I saw on TV.
73
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,388
Look, it's not like I don't
wanna keep the money.
74
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:49,857
I-I can't. I'm scared.
75
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:52,793
The first time I got this money,
karma hit me with a car.
76
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:56,430
You ever been hit by a car?
It hurts. It hurts a lot.
77
00:04:56,497 --> 00:05:00,000
I can't keep this money
knowing it's not mine or karma
might try and kill me again.
78
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:04,638
Maybe. Or maybe that's
just what the brain worm
wants you to think.
79
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,608
[ Sighs ]
Damn it, Crab Man.
80
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,543
Why the hell he have
to pick number 1?
81
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:12,513
But, Earl, we'll be broke.
82
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:16,417
Look, Randy, I know it sucks,
but we've been broke before.
83
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:21,822
[ Groans ] I made the list,
and karma brought us back
the lotto ticket.
84
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,958
I guess we just have to hope
karma takes care of us again.
85
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:28,028
I hate Darnell.
86
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,498
[ Earl Narrating ]
Patty gave us Paul's address,
87
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,867
and even though he didn't
like what I was doin',
Randy agreed to go with me.
88
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,370
[ Knocking ]
89
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,372
Hi. We're looking for Paul.
90
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:43,377
If you're here to buy
my medical marijuana lollipops
from my son, you're out of luck.
91
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:47,080
I ate 'em all.
[ Laughing ]
92
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:51,151
No, no. We're not here
for lollipops.
We brought him somethin'.
93
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:54,588
I won't let you do it, Earl!
Randy, get back here!
94
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:57,391
Damn it! Randy!
[ Grunts ]
95
00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,293
[ Earl Narrating ] Once I got
the money back from Randy,
I explained to Paul...
96
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:04,364
all about my list,
the lotto ticket and how
that money was really his.
97
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,099
So-So this money's
all mine?
98
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,836
Yeah. I'm five grand short,
but I'll get it to you
as soon as I can.
99
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,038
Dude, don't worry about it.
This is plenty.
100
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:15,108
No, no. I'll get you the rest.
I have to. Like I said,
you're on my list.
101
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,778
He said it was plenty, Earl.
Didn't you hear him?
102
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:21,314
I think you got that
bat disease. How many fingers
am I holding up?
103
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,051
[ Earl Narrating ]
Not having much money
was nothing new to me and Randy.
104
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:28,155
But having none at all
made things hard, especially
when it came to lunch.
105
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,691
Yeah.
106
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,926
There's some left in here.
107
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,718
I'm starving, Earl.
Maybe we should go steal
some food.
108
00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:01,388
You know I get angry
when I'm hungry,
like the Hulk.
109
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,256
Only I don't get
all green and muscly.
110
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,793
I just get dizzy and snap
at people that don't deserve it.
111
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,928
Randy, we're not
stealing anything.
112
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,397
We're stickin' to the list
so somethin' good
will happen to us again.
113
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:14,201
I just need to find somethin'
that won't cost any money
to cross off my list.
114
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:18,071
List, list, list!
I swear to God, you say
the word "list" one more time,
115
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:21,174
I'm gonna pull your tongue
right out of your mouth
and stick it up your--
116
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:30,250
I'm sorry. That was
the hungry, dizzy Hulk.
He comes on quick.
117
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:32,520
No, no.
That-That's okay, Randy.
118
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,088
You can have the chip dust.
I'm full.
119
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:43,831
Here we go right here.
Number 119--
120
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,567
ruined Joy's chance
to get into art school.
121
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,502
[ Earl Narrating ]
A few years ago,
122
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:52,072
Joy found a contest
in the back of a magazine
to get into art school.
123
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,609
[ Dog Barking ]
Check out that turtle.
124
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:59,980
Look at that. Looks just like
the one in the magazine.
I traced it perfect. Mmm.
125
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:05,185
I'm gonna go to art school. And
when I do, y'all gonna have to
take care of the babies. Mm-hmm.
126
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:07,755
And you're gonna see
what it's like
to get up at midnight...
127
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,657
'cause they're cryin'
for more Mountain Dew.
128
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,825
I need a stamp.
129
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,296
I don't want to take care
of the kids, Earl.
130
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,266
The black one bites me,
and the white one
calls me "stupid giant."
131
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,269
Don't worry, Randy.
She's not getting into
art school.
132
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:35,883
[ Earl Narrating ]
A few months later, Joy finally
heard back from the art school.
133
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:39,587
They said, "Art isn't for
turds." Who the hell do they
think they're calling a turd?
134
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,522
[ Earl Narrating ]
I came over to talk to Joy about
getting her into art school,
135
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:45,926
but all she wanted to talk about
was how I gave my money away.
136
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:49,029
Well, the dummy has
out-dummied himself, huh?
137
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:53,466
Well, at least now that you're
poor I can stop being so nice
to you. That just wears me out.
138
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,804
Look, will you just
trace this turtle again
so I can mail it in?
139
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,707
I told you, I don't wanna
trace no damn turtle.
140
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:03,944
Joy, I just bought the stamp.
I can't return it.
I let Randy lick it for lunch.
141
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,747
[ Sighs ]
I don't care about
art school anymore, Earl.
142
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,849
I make my art on the end
of people's fingers now.
143
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,851
Patty, you really need
to stop biting these nails.
144
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:14,054
Don't tell me, tell the mayor.
He's a nibbler.
145
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:17,625
Mmm.
There's gotta be something I can
do to make up for the drawing.
146
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:21,361
I gotta start crossing things
off my list if I want my life
to be better again.
147
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,832
Fine. You wanna make up
for ruining my art career?
148
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,467
You can help me
by expanding my new career.
149
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:30,738
I need a guinea pig
to practice on so I can
get my new license.
150
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:34,007
No problem.
What do you what me to do?
151
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:38,178
[ Screams ]
152
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,616
Mother--
153
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,818
Oh, wait. Rip that out.
154
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,954
I'm supposed to explain
the dangers to you first.
155
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,756
[ Groans ]
156
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,725
[ Earl Narrating ]
While Joy finished making me
into a human pincushion,
157
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,962
the lack of food was
making Randy desperate.
158
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,197
- I crossed another one off--
Randy, no.
- [ Trap Snaps ]
159
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,667
[ Groans ]
[ Earl Narrating ]
An hour later, I learned...
160
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:03,136
the only thing as painful
as putting an earring in
your nipple is taking it out.
161
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,205
[ Earl Groans ]
162
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,342
Ooh. That one's nice.
163
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,078
Where are you going?
164
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:14,181
[ Muffled ] My tongue hurts
too much to watch TV.
I'm going for a walk.
165
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:15,615
[ Earl Screams ]
166
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:21,822
[ Earl Narrating ] As I tried
to find something else on my
list that didn't require money,
167
00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:24,725
Darnell was trying
to help us stay alive.
168
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:27,194
Now, I know you don't have
any money to buy beers,
169
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,097
but two ladies just left the bar
and they ain't finished these.
170
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:34,267
- Here's napkins to wipe off
the lipstick.
- Thanks, Crab Man.
171
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:38,706
You see that, Randy?
I told you karma would
take care of us. Free beer.
172
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,841
Do good things,
good things happen.
173
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,344
There's a cigarette in mine.
So?
174
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,814
You know, I think having
that money spoiled you, Randy.
175
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,549
Just pinch your lips tighter
to keep the cigarette out.
176
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,719
Plus, it'll make your beer
last longer.
177
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,289
Here we go. Number 206--
178
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:59,392
refused to dance
with Too-tall Maggie
at the eight grade dance.
179
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:02,863
I can cross that one off easy.
Dancin' is free.
180
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:06,399
Here. Someone left
half a hamburger
by the pool table.
181
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,870
[ Sighs ]
There's a cigarette in here too.
182
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:12,305
Give it to me, princess.
183
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,579
Okay. All right.
No need to panic.
184
00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:23,784
We'll cross Maggie off the list
and things will start to get
better. I know it, Randy.
185
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,453
I still believe.
You still believe?
186
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,756
I still believe.
Good.
187
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:31,524
We just need to stay positive
and keep moving forward.
Everything will work out fine.
188
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,061
[ Engine Sputtering ]
189
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,878
[ Sighs ]
190
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,392
[ Grunts ]
191
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:09,362
Where are you goin'?
To dance with Maggie.
192
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,818
Maggie.
193
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,883
Now what?
194
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:06,920
I don't know.
I'm really hungry.
195
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,956
Yeah, me too.
196
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:12,725
I spent the whole day
trying to pull a peanut
out of that heater vent.
197
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,694
Turns out it was just a moth.
198
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:17,865
- How was it?
- Dry.
199
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,834
[ Tape: Distorted Audio ]
200
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:23,236
[ Stops ]
201
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,439
Uh.
202
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:31,912
I don't know if I'm about
to pass out or fall asleep
from exhaustion,
203
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,414
but it's happenin'.
204
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,454
Huh?
Oh.
205
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,227
I'll give you 1,800 for it
if it runs.
206
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,063
It runs, just not right now.
It's out of gas.
207
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,565
I'll give you 1,785 for it.
208
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:55,135
Take it, Earl.
You know this car's
not worth more than 1,500.
209
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,704
- 1,500.
- Take it, Earl.
We're desperate.
210
00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:01,308
1,200.
Hurry, Earl. He's lowering
his prices for no reason.
211
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,211
Sold.
212
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:13,786
It happened, Earl. You crossed
something off your list
and something good happened.
213
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,657
That's a lot of money.
Enough to get all your
piercing holes plugged up.
214
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:21,761
Yep, it's a lot.
Damn it, Crab Man.
215
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,763
What? Wh-Wh-What
are you doing?
216
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,732
I still owe Paul
five grand, Randy.
217
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,734
No, no.
I need to eat, Earl.
218
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,838
My stomach's making sounds
I never heard it say before.
It's his money, not ours.
219
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:35,675
But, Earl,
we got no place to live,
no car, no food. We're--
220
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:40,981
I'm sorry, Randy. Look, I have
no choice. I have to stick to
the list. You gotta believe.
221
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,483
Quit saying that!
I don't believe!
222
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:47,354
You hear me? I don't believe!
And I don't see how you can
still believe either!
223
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,058
'Cause I got nothin' else,
Randy! This is it.
This is all I have.
224
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,126
I didn't even get
to eat the moth!
225
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:57,464
Well, lucky you!
It tasted like moth!
Dry moth!
226
00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:00,267
I'm sorry, Randy!
227
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,435
[ Earl Narrating ]
It's scary to see Randy
that upset.
228
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:06,039
But lucky for me, the dizzy Hulk
had a bad arm and terrible aim.
229
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:10,677
And lucky for both of us,
about two miles down the road
we found a bus stop.
230
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:17,150
Pull the cord. Paul's house
is near the next stop.
231
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,620
Pull the cord.
232
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,996
Randy, pull the cord.
233
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:34,567
Randy! Let me go.
Randy.
234
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,940
Uh, Randy.
[ Grunting ]
235
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,511
Aaah! Randy!
236
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:48,081
Uh, excuse me. Would you mind
pulling the cord, please?
237
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:51,318
[ Thuds ]
[ Woman Screams ]
238
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,192
[ Earl Narrating ]
Luckily, Paul didn't die.
239
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:03,196
But when the force of getting
hit by a bus makes your heart
and liver switch places,
240
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,432
uh, you're gonna feel it.
241
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:09,436
How you feeling, buddy?
Take the money back.
242
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,971
- What?
- Take the money back.
243
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,541
Okay.
W-Wait. You were
just hit by a bus.
244
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:17,344
You're still a little out of it.
That money is yours.
245
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,979
You don't know the whole story.
[ Groans ]
246
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:23,016
[ Earl Narrating ] Turns out
Paul knew more about the day
I won the lottery than I did.
247
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:28,421
Apparently, when you're blacked
out and laying in the middle of
the road, you miss a few things.
248
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,957
[ Tires Squealing ]
The ticket didn't go far...
249
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,992
before it was in the hands
of someone else.
250
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,995
And that person was faced
with a decision--
251
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:40,200
Help a guy lying
in the middle of the road
or take the money and run.
252
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,768
[ Tires Squealing ]
253
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,736
Paul decided to run.
254
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,407
[ Bengali ]
255
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,210
Meanwhile, the old lady that
hit me called her sister...
256
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,745
who convinced her to return
to the scene of the accident.
257
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,647
Fine. I'll go back.
258
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:58,118
But if I go to jail,
you're taking care of Mom.
259
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:13,233
Paul was making his getaway
with what he thought was
a stolen ticket. He was rich.
260
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,802
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Screaming ]
261
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,238
[ Tires Squealing ]
262
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:23,110
It was the happiest
three minutes of his life.
263
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,381
And over the next several days,
the ticket made its way
through Camden County,
264
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,418
just waiting for karma to
deliver it to the right person.
265
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,962
If Willie the one-eyed mailman
had better depth perception,
266
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,265
well, that ticket
could have been his.
267
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,112
Some people could've
even quit their day jobs.
268
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,714
But they were too busy
working to notice.
269
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:37,817
Some people could have had it,
but karma wanted them to find
other things instead.
270
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:42,722
Things like love.
271
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,836
Other people could have had it
if they just weren't busy
doing the wrong thing.
272
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:05,912
I got one! Problem Child 2!
I just saved us three dollars!
273
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,881
[ Earl Narrating ]
Yep. A lot of people
could've had that ticket,
274
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:11,751
but it just wasn't meant to be.
275
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,858
It was almost as if
the ticket knew where
it was supposed to go.
276
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,903
Okay, fine.
You took the lotto ticket
instead of helping me.
277
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,240
But that ticket was yours.
Why don't you want the money?
278
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,442
I don't like
what it did to me.
279
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,511
[ Earl Narrating ]
And then Paul told us how
the money had changed his life.
280
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,616
He got ridiculous new clothes.
[ Mother ]
Paul?
281
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:47,287
And then he dumped his mom
in a discount nursing home.
282
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:50,357
Money made Paul
a whole different guy.
283
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,628
Can you spare a dollar?
284
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,897
I can spare thousands of
dollars, but not for you.
285
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,799
Whoa-oa! Oh! Damn it!
286
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,772
[ Woman Screams ]
287
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,207
It was that karma stuff
you told me about, Earl.
288
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:11,110
This money's not supposed
to be with me.
289
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:14,347
I have a feeling
that if I keep it
it's gonna kill me.
290
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,383
The money's supposed
to be with you.
291
00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:21,821
Wow, Paul. Thanks a lot.
292
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,823
Me and Randy'll keep using it
to do good things.
293
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:30,397
Things were back to normal.
Look, Earl.
No cigarette butts.
294
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,666
That's right, Randy.
It was a wild ride,
but everything turned out okay.
295
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,969
Plus, you crossed
three things off your list.
296
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,839
[ Slurred ]
Scoot it, sweetheart.
Move. Come on. Come on.
297
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,475
Check it out.
[ Laughs ]
298
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:47,079
I'm celebratin'. I just got
my hole piercing license,
299
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:51,117
which means I'm legal,
unlike you.
300
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:55,187
Con esto concluimos nuestra
primera temporada de Earl.
301
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,256
Estamos muy agradecido
con su acompañamiento.
302
00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:59,892
Anticipamos verlos
el próximo otoño.
303
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:02,329
Blah, blah, blah.
304
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:05,565
[ Laughing ]
305
00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:08,335
[ Earl Narrating ] Yep.
Everything was back to normal.
25633
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