Original subtitles

Andrews, have a look.

I've never seen anything like it.

I've seen you see something just like it, Nelson.

It's called a tortoise.

No, no. Look here.

There's something encrusted onto its shell.

Oh, my.

Whatever could it be?

Breathe deeply.

(Inhaling and exhaling)

The breathe flows to the fingertips,

then down to the toes...

Then the toes go up...

The bad guy's nose.

Hyah!

What? He was asking for it.

Discipline, Jade.

But I want to be a lean, mean,

Jackie chan machine.

Don't be in such a hurry. Slow and steady wins the race.

Chinese proverb, right?

Uh, Greek, actually. The story of the tortoise and the hare.

Once upon a... where you going?

Breakfast. Race ya!

Ahhh!

Morning, Jackie.

Hello, Kevin.

It's going to be sunny today.

I have to take your word for it.

Newscaster: Today's weather forecast,

clear and sunny with highs in the mid 80's for the bay area.

Morning, Jade.

Hey, Carlos.

And now for local events.

This big fellow's name is aesop, and he's the star

of the new galapagos island exhibit at the bay aquarium.

Tortoise? Talk about your coinkadink.

The odd thing is, the aquarium's experts

noticed this little "who knows what"

imbedded in aesop's shell.

A tortoise and a hare?

Jackie!

What?

That!

No, we are not getting a dog.

I saw a talisman.

It's on the tortoise's shell at the bay aquarium.

It had 2 long ears like a bunny.

The tortoise?

No. The talisman.

Huh. There is a rabbit in the Chinese zodiac.

I will investigate.

Cool.

While you're in school.

Aw.

Stop!

Valmont, hey. New suite? Heh heh. Lookin' sharp.

Go back one.

Tohru.

So there I was, flying the plane all by myself,

no co-pilot, and Jackie's hanging out

the back flopping around

with no parachute or anything.

Yeah, right. I bet the snake lady was there, too.

Viper? Nah. That was in New York.

Teacher: Jade!

Perhaps you can answer the question for us.

Uh, that last question

or the one before it, miss hardman?

The question you would have heard if you were paying attention.

Perhaps you need an extra-credit assignment.

Hmm. Dibs on the topic?

The rabbit talisman.

The question is how to remove it.

No need to worry about harming aesop's shell.

It's very durable.

Uh, little girl, this area is off limits.

Little girl?

Jade!

You should be home. That's why they call it homework?

Uh-uh-uh. It's legit. Research.

I'm doing a report on aesop.

Look, Jade, that really is a talisman on the tortoise,

and if you saw it on TV we can bet the dark hand did, too.

(Scoffs) Like bad guys watch...

Jade: TV.

Chan?

Go! Take Jade.

Ohh!

Ooh!

Uhh! - Ugh! - Eh!

Uhh.

Hyah! Ooh!

Puh, pluh, ptooey.

Ooh?

Aah!

Hyah!

And I'm getting extra credit for this.

Whoop!

Uhh. Uh. Uh.

Uh, ew, uh. Let go of me.

Ooh!

(Growling)

Mm-mmm, uh, mm.

Aah!

Jade: Jackie!

The tortoise.

(Sighing)

Jackie, what do we do?

Mm-mmm!

Which way?

I'll make him talk. Whoop!

Remember, slow and steady wins the race.

I like my plan better.

Yuck!

Now, let's watch and learn.

You know, shendu,

these talisman expeditions... let's just say I'm racking up

some hefty out-of-pocket expenses and as of yet

there's nothing coming back into my pocket.

When and only when your men acquire all 12 talismans,

the lost treasure of chin chi wong

shall cover your expenses 10 thousand times over.

The reputed lost treasure.

Ahh. So we have a sceptic.

Aah! Ooh!

Patience, valmont. Slow and steady wins the race.

Ahem. Valmont, we scored the talisman.

Heh heh heh. And the team mascot.

You have the tortoise?

When chan showed, we had to bail with the snail.

Prepare for a detour. I have an acquaintance

whom I'm certain will pay top dollar for our endangered friend.

That's why you're the boss, "v".

Whoa! Getting another call.

Hello.

Yo, ratso.

Oh, well, sorry, dude.

Forget sorry. I need a ride.

Where?

Yeah. I can find it.

He's arranging to meet with the others.

Cool! Now we jump him?

Keep low, he'll see us.

But this time wait for me!

Quick! Jump in.

Hey!

Jade.

Uncle?

Grr!

So how was school?

Peachy.

Aah. Peachy.

One more thing. Did Jackie find the rabbit talisman?

(Growling) I am not Jade. I am paigon the powerful, ruler of the rabbit realm.

Ohh! Aah!

(Growling) I must fulfill my destiny

or the universe itself shall become un-made.

Release me at once.

(Coughing) Man, that's rough on the throat.

We're outnumbered. Aah!

Don't you have a report to do?

Hello. Research? Need the tortoise.

Gentlemen.

Are you Karl niver?

Ni-vor. Dr. Karl nivor. In the flesh.

Who's this nivor guy?

Shh!

And this fellow must be the merchandise of which my friend valmont spoke.

Mmm, yes.

You're a fine specimen, aren't you?

Aren't you?

The money!

Boris, pay the man.

Care to join me for dinner?

Thank you, no.

But we're having quite the delicacy.

A dish so rare, you might say it's endangered.

Turtle soup.

Eww. He's gonna eat aesop?

Oh. He's gonna eat aesop.

Are you sure? Hmm?

Yes, we, uh... uh... um... must deliver this to valmont.

Ohh. Tohru has the talisman.

He's going to eat aesop.

Well? The sooner you fetch a forklift,

the sooner I may lift a fork to my lips.

Wait here.

Whoa!

Jackie! Where you going?

After the talisman.

But what about aesop?

You could choose another topic for your report.

Duh! This isn't about the report.

Aesop's going to be that creepy guy's din-din if we don't do something.

We will do something...

After I get the talisman. Follow me.

But you never want me to follow you,

and aesop's in immediate danger.

Jade, we don't know what power

this talisman possesses.

If the dark hand gets it, people could be in danger.

Oh, so you're ok letting something that looks just like uncle get eaten?

Ohh! Where do you come up with these things? Huh?

Chan?

I thought I heard your voice.

Maim him.

Jade: Whoa! Jackie: Ooh!

Aah! Ohh!

Ha! Whoo! Aah! Uhh!

Whoo. Grr.

Uhh!

Aah!

Ooh! Aah! Huh? Whoa!

Uhh!

Ooh! Uncle.

Where?

Eyah! Ooh!

Tohru: Ooh!

Tohru!

(Fighting in plane)

Ooh!

Careful!

That one turns you into a chocolate bunny.

How did you get down there... So fast?

Aah!

Ooh!

Mmm... Peppy.

Boris, that braised manatee you prepared last week

was absolutely exquisite and the grilled American condor

on a bed of fava beans...

(Smacking lips) To die for.

Don't forget the carrots.

I'll be aft in the study.

Unh! Unh!

Uhh!

Who's a...

Chocolate...

Bunny...

Now?

Hmm?

Uhh!

Whoa!

Big man can move.

(Growling)

Whoa!

Something's... aah!

Tohru: Aah!

Jade?

Jade!

Uhh! Come on. Come on.

(Meat locker shuts)

Stop!

Heh.

Pretty please?

A stowaway?

Release aesop, you tortoise-eating creep.

Such a delightful child.

She'll go well with a nice bernaise sauce, wouldn't you say, Boris?

(Gasp) What?

Only joking, Princess.

Children are much too common for my sophisticated palate.

Lock her up and get on with my dinner. I'm getting cranky.

Jade! Jade! Jade.

How like...

Duh!

(Clanking)

Jade?

Jade!

Jackie, I'm in here.

Whoa. How'd you go there to here so fast?

And now we'll save the tortoise.

See? Slow and steady wins the race.

But you have super rabbit speed.

I'm getting mixed messages here.

Oh... eh... uh... don't be smart.

Whoop!

Valmont,

your men are supposed to find talismans, not sell pets.

Perhaps if you had given fair consideration

to the advance I requested,

none of this would have...

Whoa. I did not know he could do that.

I assure you, shendu, the rabbit talisman will be retrieved.

How right you are.

Kitchen's closed.

Uhh! Jackie: Come on.

Unh! Ah!

Uhh! Eh!

Ohh!

Uh-oh.

Out here?

Ha ha ha. What's up, doc?

What? How did you...

I want my dinner.

Whaa!

Whoa!

Jade and doctor: Huh?

Vamoose!

What?

Uh... Welcome?

I don't have it.

Charge!

Huh? Oh!

Jade: Wahoo!

Ah! Anyone for leftovers?

Boy: Oh, come on! A turbo turtle?

Faster than a speeding rabbit.

No way!

Way!

Yeah, right.

I bet that super strong ox guy was there, too.

Jade: El toro? Nah. That was in Mexico when I was flying the plane.

Boy: Hey, Jackie, do you like to watch television?

Yes. I learn so many things on television.

You know, my English I learned from the TV.

I like education channel, discovery channel.

Even cartoon I can learn something.

I want TV.

I'm only in Hong Kong.

I can watch what's going on in Morocco.

What's going on South Africa and Europe, everywhere.

And really learn a lot of things I don't know before.

Even training, I watch TV.

TV is my teacher.

I love TV.