Original subtitles

The sheep talisman?

Oh, Jackie had a little lamb.

(Crash)

It's not here.

Can you believe it?

Hah.

Guess not.

(Cell phone rings)

Hello.

Jade: Jackie! Help!

Jade, what's wrong?

Never leave me with uncle again.

We eat nothing but mung beans and rice.

And he reeks of garlic.

And uncle's no fun.

I asked him if we could go to the new Melvin moose amusement park,

and he's all, "roller coasters are bad for digestion."

Ahh! No!

I know! Can you believe it?

So you promise we'll go as soon as you get home?

Promise?

Yes! Whatever, I promise!

Good-bye!

Valmont, score! (Chuckles)

And chan?

We'll miss him dearly.

Hohh!

Aah!

(Whimpering)

You need to jump!

(Whimpering)

Aah! Unh!

Uhh!

No way he's human.

Ohh...

Ahh! Bad day, bad day, bad day, bad day!

Eyaah!

Fly! Fly! Fly!

Yaaaa!

One stop shopping.

(Grunt)

No!

Did I do that?

Jackie!

Uhh! Hello Jade.

Did you...

I'm going to Melvin world.

Oh, what?

Uh, oh, ok.

But first I go home and get some sleep.

Aw...

Jackie!

Uncle!

What did you bring me?

The sheep talisman?

Good!

Now we can do research!

Oh, but I'm very tired.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Wait.

What is it? What do you hear?

Ow!

I hear the sound of the sheep

not telling me what power it holds.

I hear the sound of our footsteps

walking to the back room

to translate ancient inscriptions.

Please, uncle, I have been traveling for 18 hours.

I jump from a helicopter and ran along a falling train.

That is why you must relax with some good books.

Chan possesses yet another talisman...

While I have none?!

You are weak, valmont!

And your men are fools!

That's it! I ain't taking no more lip from a statue.

I am no statue!

You stand in the presence of a demon sorcerer.

I once held dominion over a vast empire.

But my subjects betrayed me.

They cast a chi spell,

which imprisoned me in this pitiful icon,

where I have remained for 900 years.

The 12 magic talismans from which I drew my power

was scattered to the winds.

Whoa!

You got jacked!

Acquisition of all the talismans

will allow me to be free of my confinement

and walk the earth once again.

At which time we will be rewarded

the lost treasure of shin shi-wah.

Well worth taking a little lip,

don't you think?

Uncle: Jackie,

these symbols explain

the talisman's power.

We must find a translation.

(Snoring)

Ow! Counting sheep makes me sleepy!

One more thing...

We must keep the talisman in this magic box,

where it will be concealed from the dark forces.

One more thing... Stay awake!

You break many antiques when you sleepwalk.

Oh, I don't sleepwalk!

So! You break

my antiques for fun?!

I'll find out what it does the easy way.

Hmm. Just hope it isn't the exploding head talisman.

Work already!

Uhh!

(Gasps) Oh, no! I'm dead!

Huh? Hmm.

I'm... Not dead?

Cool! This must be the... ooh!

Ghost talisman! Jackie won't believe it!

Boo! Hello!

Can't you guys see me?

No? Then I guess you won't mind if I

touch your guts! (Laughing)

Melvin world can't touch this!

Wahoo!

Waste of time!

They probably got it locked up

at section 13 by now,

wherever that is.

Uh, I'm sorry, did you say something?

No way! Yes way!

Ratso: So then chan lifts a whole bus off the ground,

and he Chucks it at us!

He wasn't easy to take down,

but we knew how much you wanted this.

Cheers, shendu.

The first of an even dozen.

I am free!

The sheep talisman enables me

to project my astral form.

An admirable start,

but I must have the others.

Yeah, but finding section 13 won't be

as easy as taking a talisman

out of a sleeping kid's hand... ow!

Did that occur before or after chan

"chucked the bus"?

(Hisses) This sleeping child

may not be sleeping at all.

And if her spirit wanders,

her vessel has a vacancy!

Jade: Ew! Quit picking your nose!

(Sighs) Being a ghost of golden gate park

is pretty lame if no one can see you. I'm outie!

(Yawns) Hmm.

Jade is awfully quiet.

Oh! Like a baby!

Hmm.

(Jackie snoring)

Oh! Like a baby!

Ohh! Where's the talisman?

Whoa! What are you?

Everything you will grow to fear!

(Hissing)

(Gasps)

Uh! Oh, wha...

Time to awaken, dear uncle.

Sorry, Charlie! But my body

ain't big enough for the both of us.

Unh!

Unh! Get out of there!

Give me back my skin and bones!

Unh! Ugh!

You should not sleep on the floor, uncle Jackie.

(Yawns) We should go back to section 13.

Yes! Section 13.

Uncle: Jackie!

(Sighs) Eventually.

Grr!

Jade: Jackie, she's not me!

You gotta listen!

(Growls) Scream all you wish, child.

They are deaf to you!

What do you want with my body?

What do you want with Jackie?

Gaah!

Jackie, Jackie, Jackie! Look out!

Refreshments anyone?

Orange slices and oolong tea

for my cherished elders?

Wonderful!

Thank you, Jade!

It's probably poisoned! Don't!

Jackie, no!

Mmm! Delicious!

And nutritious.

Jackie, she is so not me!

How could you fall for that

sweet-as-pie routine?

She's some kind of evil spirit thing!

Why would an evil spirit act so nice?

Please forgive my interruption,

but I wish to go to section 13 now.

And why is it so interested in going to...

(gasps) Section 13! The other talismans!

She... it... must be working for the dark hand!

(Yawns) Well,

Jade wants to go,

so I'll just... ow!

Arrange a ride for her.

Black.

It's Jackie. Can you send someone

to take Jade back to section 13?

You all right, Jackie? You sound beat.

(Sighs) I'll be fine.

It's just between all this travel and research,

I haven't had much time for Jade.

She really wants to go to this

Melvin world and...

Your coach awaits, little lady.

Uncle: Hotcha!

The sheep talisman possesses the power

of astral projection.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Great! Night-night!

One more thing!

Astral bodies can pass through walls,

but they cannot be seen

duh. Or heard...

Unless they enter a person's dreams.

Dreams?! Score!

(Snoring)

Aah!

One more thing...

You forget to sweep the store!

(Both sigh)

Come on, come on! Sweep faster, Jackie!

(Snoring)

Yes!

Jackie! Can you see me?

Can't talk, Jade. Sweeping.

Uncle: Jackie!

Jackie, listen to me!

You're dreaming!

Not now. Gotta sweep the train.

Oh! Oh, no!

What happened?

Hey, stand still!

You're dreaming and you're sleepwalking!

Oh! I don't sleepwalk.

(Gasps)

Stop!

(Snoring)

Uncle Jackie, you're dreaming!

But I'm real!

I took the talisman and I got all ghosty,

but when I got back to my body...

And so now the bad guys have the talisman,

and evil me is going to section 13

to steal the rest of them.

And you've gotta stop me!

I mean, the me outside this dream.

Dream? Oh, that's crazy, Jade.

You're crazy!

If I'm the crazy one,

how come you're the one not wearing pants?

Huh?

I can prove everything, Jackie.

Look in the box. The talisman's gone!

Now wake up!

Aah!

Ugh!

(Gasps)

My dream was no dream!

Jade is right.

I'm the bomb, uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Where is the talisman?

Jade has it. Uh, had it.

Uncle, this will sound crazy...

Jade took the talisman, and now she's trapped in astral form

while an evil spirit walks in her body.

Uh... Yes!

The sheep talisman put on wolf in sheep's clothing.

You find Jade. I will find a chi spell to banish the wolf.

Go, uncle.

Almost there, Jade.

I know it may seem silly by now,

but I have to ask you to wear this.

At last, section 13.

Ok, you can look.

(Melvin moose laughing)

A little birdie told me you've been wanting to come here.

Grrr!

Black.

Captain black. Trust me.

You're in terrible danger.

Jade is evil!

I know she's a handful, Jackie.

But evil?

Whee! Hee, ha ha! Whee!

Duh... Smile for the camera.

Soon I shall devour your soul.

(Gasp)

P.A.: Melvin's world is now closed!

Please exit the park and see us again soon!

Finally! Aw...

What do you say,

stop off for an ice cream cone?

Captain black, get away from her!

Whoa there, Jackie.

Grrr!

She's not really Jade!

The talisman's magic has made her a sheep.

Oh, no, I mean, uh...

I'll prove it!

What's the moose's name?

The name?

Grrr!

Give you a hint. Another word for wedgie.

You can't name it, can you?

You're evil! You're evil!

Jackie, you look like you could use a little sleep.

Uhh! Uhh...

Oh! Who are you?

Your executioner.

(Grunting)

Hey.

Stop that or I...

I give you a spanking.

As you wish!

This is not my body!

Weak little girl.

I am not weak!

Uhh!

Come here, you!

What are you...

Hey! Stop!

You are so not fighting fair!

(Ring) Huh?

Busy!

Uncle: Jackie, I found the chi spell.

Very good one.

Please put Jade on phone.

Aaaa-uhh!

It's for you.

Hello! (Speaking Chinese)

(Chanting in Chinese)

(Grunts)

Noooo!

I cannot break free!

Blasted chi spell.

Shendu, back so soon?

And what, no talismans?

Jade! Jade!

Coming, Jackie!

I'm back!

Jade...

It looks like we have lost a talisman to the dark hand.

Because of me.

I know.

But I guess it's because of you

that the rest are still safe in section 13.

Cool! So can we ride again?

Hey, Jackie. Yes.

Who do you admire and why?

Oh, so many people I admire.

Steven Spielberg, George, Lucas,

the people of talent.

They can use the computer, special effects,

not follow the tradition like me, you know, hurt myself,

jumping off of real car.

They can use the fake people, and they can use a... a dinosaur.

Just choose part, doo doo doo.

When I look at those kind of people, they really...

That... those kind of people I really admire. Wow!