Original subtitles

Yeah, this is the story of famous dogs.

For the dog that chases its tail will be dizzy.

- Hi, Marcus. - Hey, you.

Yo, I left something on your desk for you yesterday.

- Yo, man! - Yo, Marcus, man,

- when we gonna hang out? - We gonna hang out soon.

Slow down with that thing, Bony.

- Good morning, ladies. - Hi, Marcus.

So I'm there, right? I'm like this.

Yo, I'm trying to work.

Hey, what's up?

- Hey, what's up man? - Yo, what's up?

- I'll see y'all at lunch. - Okay.

Peace.

Good morning.

- Hey, stranger. Nice to see you again. - Good morning.

- Good morning, cuteness. - Hey.

Hey, hey, hey. How you doing? What's up?

Hey, mornin'. Mornin'.

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Hey, you. - Hello.

- Good morning, Noreen. - Good morning, Marcus.

Hey, do me a favor and send a single long stem rose

to Carrie, Tracy, Miranda, Cassandra, Alegra, Shirrel, and Mailai.

With the usual card?

- Yeah. "Thinking only of you. " - Right.

You have a meeting with Lady Eloise tomorrow at nine.

- Cool. - Nelson's waiting for you.

And Anita called.

I knew I forgot to do something. Will you get her on the phone for me?

- Sure. - Thank you.

- Nelson. - Hello, Marcus.

I can't wait to show you this.

I've recut the Kissable spot.

You recut it.

- But is it sexy? - Is it sexy?

It is sexsational.

- I like it. - Good.

- I like the orange. - Good.

And I like the ice cream. You gotta get rid of the cherries

and lose the banana.

Cherry and banana?

But that's a little Bu�uel, a little Dali, a little...

- You know. - No, it's a little too overt.

You know, we should go a little more subtle.

I think someone might get offended.

All right.

But I dug it. I dug it.

Don't make that, "He didn't dig it" face. I dug it.

It just got a little nasty like you always do.

All right.

- Okay. - All right.

- The nasty Nelson. - That's me.

At least there wasn't no sausages in this one.

- Yeah? - Anita on line one.

Great.

Hey, you.

No, don't be mad. Let me... Can I explain to you what happened?

Have you been watching the news?

Then you haven't been watching the news.

The big accident they had in midtown,

where the cabs busted into the other cab

and knocked into the bus, and the water main busted.

I was in that!

You haven't seen it? It's on the news right now!

It just went off Channel 4. It just went off.

Yeah, but I was... No, I'm cool.

I'm all right, yeah.

My neck's a little stiff, that's all.

No, actually, a massage sounds kind of fly.

Yeah, I'm all with that.

That too.

Well, can I call you next week?

Cool.

Later.

- What's next? - Casting for the body lotion spot.

Tell the fellas I might be a little late for lunch today.

Yo, man, I saw somethin' on cable last night.

Freaked me.

There was this woman, right?

Baby had body.

She was lyin' there totally naked, right?

You could see everything.

But she had a dick, man.

Fucked me up!

It was a 976 number for hermaphrodites.

Are you talking about 976-DICK, Chicks With Dicks?

How could you put something like that in your mental rolodex?

He's a closet freak.

You got problems, man.

- You're coming out! - Yeah.

No, man. I was just, you know, kidding.

Man. Yo, that ain't regular, man.

See, sometime I feel like

there's a whole world out there we don't know about.

Like the shit you read about in Penthouse.

Man, stuff like that never happens to me.

Man, stuff like that never happens to anybody, except for Marcus.

Hey, wait a minute. The only reason

stuff like that happens to me all the time

is because I pay attention to women.

Y'all don't pay attention to women.

Marcus, I pay attention.

No, you have to watch them

- and study their moves... - Get out of here, Marcus.

- It's an art form, too. - You know, I can't do that, man.

That's why you don't get no pussy, man.

- Exactly. - Hey, Tyler.

There's other things in life besides sex.

Come on. How about sharing, commitment.

You got to get in touch with your feminine side, like me.

You're startin' to sound a little on the soft side.

But I understand soft, man.

Borderline bitch.

You know what your problem is?

You need more romance

and less Doberman Pinscher. That's what you need.

That's true. That is true.

You have too much dog and no romance in your life.

Marcus, don't even try that, all right? You ain't got no romance.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I am the most romantic cat both of you know.

When I meet a woman, I am flowers, I am candy, I am soft music.

And Mr. Milkbone.

No, I am Mr. Romance when I meet a woman,

then once I hit it, I lose interest, but that ain't my fault.

So, in other words, right at the moment of orgasm,

just all the romance just skeets right out of you.

No. But you can't put that on me. That's not...

The onus is not on me.

- Hi. - Hey, how are you?

Good. Thank you.

You have a beautiful accent. Where are you from?

I'm from Holland.

- Nice meeting you. - Nice meeting you, too.

- Bye. - Bye-bye, cuteness.

I'm from Detroit.

Shit, that just makes me mad, man.

Bitches never do that to me, man.

Well, maybe it's because you call them bitches all the time.

Yeah, man. You need to straighten up.

Show some respect, man. Come on.

Yo, man.

Excuse me.

- Excuse me, waitress? - Yeah?

Look, I ordered the duck. Right?

What vegetable comes with that?

That's a good one. It's saut�ed asparagus spears

and it is good. It's our special.

Delicious.

- That sounds good. - You'll love 'em.

Oh, God.

- All right. Okay, then. - That sounds good. Thank you.

- That sounds good. Come on. - What?

Why don't she just come out, man, and say it?

Call us jungle bunnies, man.

- What? - Asparagus spears!

- What? - If we were white,

it would have been asparagus tips.

Racial, man. Racial!

Man, you're tripping now.

- No, you're tripping. - Definitely.

Definitely. No, you definitely...

Come on, calm down. You need...

You've got to process some of this anger, man.

Yo.

- Y'all excuse me for a minute. - You know what you need to do, man?

You need to get in touch with Tyler, man.

Say, "Tyler, I love you, man. "

What? Nigga, please!

Okay. Go take your walk.

I'll give you 20 dollars for that leash!

Take it, fool. Turn down that good money.

Yes, baby.

Kirby?

Kirby?

Come here, Kirb.

Kirby!

Did you lose your dog?

Yeah, I lost a white springer spaniel with brown spots on him, named Kirby.

Real energetic happy dog. Did you see him?

I haven't seen him.

I only took him off the leash for a couple of seconds.

I can't believe this happened.

Kirby?

- He's like a family member, you know? - I know.

I feel the same way about Brutus.

I love my Brutus.

I can see why. Do you walk him here every day?

- Yeah, I do. - Could you do me a favor?

My name is Marcus Graham. Here's my card.

If you bump into Kirby, could you, like, call us

and I'll have somebody come pick him up?

Okay. Well, good luck. I sure hope you find him.

Thanks.

Kirb!

Kirby!

Wait. Let me give you my number,

'cause I'm not gonna be able to sleep until I know you found him.

Do you have a pen?

Do I?

I have a pen right here.

- Thank you. Bye-bye. - Thank you.

- Good luck. - Bye-bye.

Kirby?

Kirb.

Kirbster?

Marcus, Marcus.

I know you hear me,

you slimy, sleazy, sneaky, slithering son of a bitch!

You want to keep it down.

I'm getting ready to have some company, okay?

So who is the victim tonight?

Yvonne, I don't feel like playing with you, okay? Stop.

Why don't you just tell her the truth?

Tell her you're gonna use her,

then you're gonna dump her like you did me!

Excuse me, excuse me, I did not dump you.

We went out. It was whack

and it was your fault, and I wish...

Look, why don't you get over it and go find another man, huh?

Get outta here.

I hope you catch a disease and your dick falls off.

I would expect you to say something crass like that.

Don't forget I have a court order for you to stay away.

You ain't supposed to be that close to the gate.

I'll call your probation officer.

Court order?

I don't give a damn about no court order.

- Hey. Come on in. - Hi.

- Nice to see you again. - Nice to see you, too.

- Nice place. - Thank you.

Where's Kirby?

- Kirby! Kirby! - He's at the groomers.

He got caught under this truck and got some grease on his coat.

He is okay though. You look great.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

Gold star for Marcus.

Dinner was yummy!

I never met a man who could cook so well.

How'd you learn how to cook like that?

Well, you kinda pick those things up. You know when you're...

When you are alone as much as I am.

Really?

Yeah.

- See... - Marcus!

Marcus, you know you wrong!

You no good.

Marcus.

Let's go into the living room,

we'll be much more comfortable in there.

Okay.

Come on.

Girlfriend!

Girlfriend! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Girlfriend!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

A scared little boy named Marcus

and he's just dying to come out.

He's been hurt too, hasn't he?

Tell me about him.

Tell me all about Marcus.

Well, I haven't been out with anybody in about two years.

Not since Debra. That's the girl I almost married.

The day of my wedding, I went to the church a little early

'cause I had a bad feeling.

And I go in the back

and that's when I saw it.

She was on the ground with the best man

and the priest

freakin'.

You poor baby.

Yeah, that's when I realized that

you can't trust anybody.

You can trust me.

I'm not ready for this.

I think I should take you home.

I think it's best.

I can't tell you how helpful this has all been.

You know? Gold star for Christie.

Thanks, you really helped me in here.

I felt that.

You don't have to thank me.

- Come on. - No, no, no, no.

- I shouldn't come into your apartment. - Come on.

Christie, don't. No. I shouldn't be here. You know, like...

- Marcus. - I'm not ready for this.

I mean, are we by ourselves in here?

Of course we are by ourselves.

- Come on. - Christie!

Marcus, spend the night with me?

Christie, no. It's just too soon. I can't, I...

I just don't want to be hurt again.

I won't hurt you.

Please be gentle.

Yo, man, so what happened with this girl last night?

Man, she was beautiful!

She was beautiful, but her feet were jacked up.

- Were they? - Yeah.

I pulled the covers back...

- Yeah? - It was hammer time.

I should've known something was up.

I seen her shoes had little bumps on the top of the shoes

when I met her, but I thought maybe it was an old shoe or something

and you would never ever think a woman that fine

would have hammer time in her shoe.

Come on, man. You don't fuck her feet. Damn.

I hope I'm not outta line here, man,

but don't you think, like, you're just a little bit too picky?

- Yeah, right? - What happened with Tracy, man?

Gerard, you met that girl. She's not very smart.

Come on, man, you don't fuck her brains.

Hey, I'm looking for perfection.

- Hi, Marcus. - Hey.

- Yo, Marcus. - Hey, what's up?

You're on your way to meet with Lady Eloise

to discuss that merger, right?

How do you know everything that goes on?

Well, I read it when I was in your office this morning.

Hey, man.

You're not supposed to be in my office

and you ain't supposed to be goin' through my mail, okay?

No, man, I wouldn't go through your stuff.

Here, here, hold it up. Hold it up.

Hold it up!

You going to read right through the envelope?

I'm gonna read right through the envelope.

It says, "Lunch tomorrow

"at Houlihan's. "

Open it up!

"Dear Bob, how about lunch at Houlihan's... "

That's very impressive.

See, I told you, man. Told you, man.

Now check this out, man, I've been working here about nine days.

You know I've been on time most of the time.

Even when it rains.

Don't you think it's about time we talked promotion?

Marcus, come on, man. I get my own office, man.

I bring my hos in here, we have a little party.

Set this motherfucker off, man!

Marcus Graham.

Lady Eloise?

I can't tell you how excited you've got everybody up here.

It's like you're like a breath of fresh air.

I've never seen everyone so excited.

Lady Eloise?

I think you requested to see me, Marcus Graham?

I know.

May I have a seat?

Please keep standing.

The rest of my administrative team will be arriving tomorrow.

However, when I decided to take over this company,

I considered you a prime asset.

Thank you very much.

We need strong department heads to oversee this merger.

- Beet juice? - No, thank you.

It keeps the skin tight.

And none of us are getting any younger.

Well, some women have a girlish quality

that lasts a lifetime.

I've always heard you were very beguiling to women.

But my schedule is also very tight.

Meet me at my house tonight.

Todd, see to it that he's at Lavender Hill.

- Good evening, Mr. Graham. - Good evening.

Lady Eloise has been eagerly anticipating you.

Marcus Graham? Lady Eloise.

Marcus, darling.

Welcome to Lavender Hill.

Lady Eloise, I cannot begin to tell you

how happy I am to be working with you.

I grew up using your products...

My mother used your products, you know.

It's like, you were in my medicine cabinet all my life

and now I'm, like, working with you.

And this is very exciting.

I find it very exciting as well.

I'm looking forward to a long, strong, productive relationship.

You know, I don't want to blow my own horn,

but I'm really qualified.

You shouldn't have to blow your own horn.

You should leave that for someone else to do.

Marcus, darling...

Wouldn't you like to get a little bit more...

Comfortable?

Yeah, sure, why not?

Wouldn't you like to get out of that tight shirt?

Yeah, I was just thinking about doing that myself.

You know, it's, it's a little, bright in here,

wouldn't you like to dim it to make it a little more romantic?

Could you get it just a little darker?

Excuse me.

I'm sorry to bother you, but I just had to come over

and say something to you.

You're breathtaking.

You're the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid my eyes on.

I had to come over and meet you.

I'm sorry.

- Why are you laughing? - I'm sorry, it's just that...

What you said was pretty pathetic.

That was not pathetic!

Come on, I mean,

if I walked up to you and I said, "Excuse me, sir.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but...

"Well, I just had to meet you because you are the most handsome,

"the most virile man I've ever seen in all of my entire life. "

Now, would you believe me?

Honestly? Yeah, I would.

But that's just the way I am.

- I'm going to work. - Okay.

- Well, I'm going this way, too. - Okay.

Hey, it's not like I'm following you, I'm going upstairs, too.

I'm going to the eighteenth floor, too.

Okay, I'm sorry. You're auditioning for one of the commercials upstairs.

- You're a model or something? - No, no. I'm not a model.

I'm going to go work for the company.

- Really? - Marketing, yeah.

Really? That's my department, I'm Marcus Graham.

You're Marcus Graham?

You're Marcus Graham?

This is pretty funny that we're meeting like this.

I'm sorry, I am Jacqueline Broyer.

- Okay. - I have to tell you,

I'm a huge fan of your work.

- Thank you very much. - Yeah, you're very, very talented.

Now see there, you were treating me like my name was Stanley

down in the lobby. It turns out that you are a fan of my work.

You know what else, I'll let you in on a little secret,

'cause you're a very pretty girl.

When this merger goes through,

I'm gonna be in charge of all of marketing.

You are?

Marcus,

I'm afraid that there's been some kind of misunderstanding.

I'm sorry, you see,

I'm in charge of marketing.

No, that's impossible.

Sorry.

I'm the logical choice.

I'm already the vice-president of marketing for Chantress.

Good morning. Thank you.

Yes, I know but I'm director of marketing for Lady Eloise.

And, after all, we are acquiring you.

But I had a very good indication from someone

that the job was mine, all right?

Really, from whom?

From Lady Eloise. Lady Eloise.

Lady Eloise!

- Really? - Yes.

Marcus, Lady Eloise doesn't make any decisions.

She's...

She's the name on the package.

No, it's her company. The Lady Eloise. The Lady Eloise.

She hasn't run this company for 15 years.

All of the decisions are made by the board of directors in Paris.

But it's Lady Eloise.

She has no power.

She's a very sweet woman.

She's a little detached from reality.

You should see the way she just...

She throws herself

at young, handsome, virile men.

Are you trying to imply that I hit it?

- No I see what you... - Marcus, darling.

Hey, how you doing, Lady Eloise?

I don't have any panties on.

Lady Eloise... Please, we have a meeting.

Can we just please go?

I'm sorry.

It's warm in here.

Just 'cause somebody takes off their drawers

don't mean that I did something.

So, yo, man, you gonna quit, right?

Of course he's gonna quit, man. You can't take a smaller office.

That's right. Step to her and say, "Look, girl, I'm outta here. "

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about doing.

- There you go. - I'm thinking about steppin'...

There she is, right there.

- That's her? - Yeah.

Psych!

Yo, you can't quit, man. You gotta stay.

Yeah, she's bad.

- Hello, Marcus. - Hello, Jacqueline.

- You look great. - And so do you.

- Thank you. - This is my man, Tyler.

- And this is Gerard. Jacqueline. - Hello.

This is Angela Lewis. She works in our art department.

She's very talented.

I think the two of you should probably be working together.

Excuse me, Jacqueline, it's that time.

Thank you, Todd. Excuse me. Nice meeting you.

- Marcus... - Yeah. Cool.

Would you join me for a second? Thanks.

Come on, girl, get on.

Ladies and gentleman, I have a very exciting announcement to make.

Since 1948,

the name Lady Eloise has been synonymous with glamour,

grace, sensuality

and stunning natural beauty.

In the next century, that tradition continues.

Introducing the new face of Lady Eloise Cosmetics,

Strang�!

Yes!

- Hey. - Hi.

- How are you? - Good.

You look a little bit lost. Can I help you?

I'm just looking for Jacqueline, basically. That's what I'm doing.

You're interested in her, right?

Now, what would make you say that?

Most men are.

I mean, look at her. She's fantastic.

I mean, if I were a guy,

I would probably be interested in Jacqueline.

- If you were a guy. - Not...

Not that I have those thoughts because I don't,

but I'm just saying she's attractive and I would probably go out with her.

I know where you're going. Women do stuff like that.

You see other girls and you say, "She's cute. " Or, "Her hair is nice,"

but guys don't see other guys and go, "Look at his shoulders. "

You know, we don't do that.

- It's not like that. - Sure you have.

You've seen a movie before and you've seen a man in a movie

and you've said, "Now there is a nice looking man. " You have.

I can't believe we're having this conversation.

I've gone to the movies, yes,

and I remember I saw Billy Dee Williams

in Lady Sings the Blues and he came down the steps.

He looked very cool and I thought he was cool,

but I didn't want to get with him. You know, that's a whole entire...

Hey, wait a second. I have someone that you should meet.

You know that. Hey, Gerard, come here.

I think I met someone that is perfect for you.

Why don't you guys come chitchat?

Hi.

Good evening, boss.

Please do not call me that.

I want you to think of me as your colleague.

So tell me something.

You excited about working with Strang�?

Stop, you know I didn't come up here to talk to you about no Strang�.

I came up here to talk to you about us.

I'm rapping. This is my mack daddy vibe I'm giving you.

In all of its splendor. What's up?

- Really? - Yes.

I'm the eleganza mack daddy of the month.

I see.

Well, let me get a good look.

Check it.

Look like JET Magazine.

- What's up? - You are absolutely wonderful.

But I think that we should kind of make this clear

right from the start, so there is no misunderstanding.

You see,

I don't date men I work with.

Well, then I quit.

You can't quit

because I need you.

No, hon, wait one sec.

You have an eyelash that's gonna go in your eye.

Wait, come here.

- You all right? Yeah? - Yeah, I'm fine.

You're trying to seduce me on the sneak.

- What? - That was very seductive

- what you just did. - What are you talking about?

- You know what I'm talking... - You had something in your eye.

- I saved your eye. - No, no, no, no.

I know what it's like when you have something in your eye.

I was a kid before. Your mother opens your eye and goes...

And blows. Your whole eyeball comes out.

It was never... Like you just did.

Come on now, that was very seductive,

- what you just did. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

And let me assure you of something.

When I seduce you,

if I decide to seduce you,

don't worry, you'll know.

- Yo, Marcus. - Hey, what's up man?

Yo, man, me and some of the minimum wage brothers

down in the mail room would like to know about

how long do you think it's gonna take you to bone that new executrix.

See, I need to know 'cause we got a little office pool thing goin' on.

Look, that's very crass. Miss Broyer and I are colleagues,

and I have a great deal of respect for her as a person.

It's professional, totally professional.

Remain professional.

So what you saying, man, it's going to take a week?

Not you, Marcus, you the man. Come on, man.

I hate it.

But this fragrance tested very well.

Jacqueline, I said I wanted the essence of sex.

- Yes... - Well, I think this is it.

You would.

But let me show you

what I'm talking about.

Unbelievable.

This

is

the essence

of sex.

Voil�.

Lloyd. Come on, Lloyd. Wait, Lloyd.

Lloyd. Hey, man.

Hey, Lloyd.

Lloyd, look, wait.

Look, wait, hold it. Come on, man. Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, come on. The fragrance is fine.

Nobody's changin' anything, okay?

That woman doesn't deserve her own fragrance.

Do you think Liz Taylor would have thrown her panties in my face?

You could ask her, Lloyd.

It was a joke, It's a...

I'm just trying to be... I'm being funny.

Come on. Hey, look...

Marcus, you're a devil!

But I love you. Come on back.

They make me feel ridiculous.

And you, where have you been, you?

- I had to get... - Shut up!

Look at this.

This is ridiculous.

Why are my concepts being ignored?

I'm not a fool. I know what the people want.

They want to be shocked

and they want to be stunned

and they want to be jolted.

So, I have prepared a list of names for the fragrance.

Wet Spot Ten.

No, sorry. I crossed out that one.

Love Puss.

Pig Puke.

Afterbirth.

- After what? - Afterbirth!

- I'm sorry. I thought you said "bath. " - No.

It's English. B-I-R-T-H.

Birth.

I was just making a distinction between "birth" or "bath. "

Birth, birth, birth!

Thank you, darling. Don't make fun of me, okay?

My English is not so good.

Steel Vagina.

- You understand that one. - Yeah.

"Steel Vagina," marvelous.

What do you think?

I...

- Those are really creative. - Thank you.

But the name of this fragrance has to be something

that catches the eye.

It has to incite passion and it has to be electric,

and it has to say glamour, and it has to say sexy.

It has to say smart.

It has to... It has to...

Wait a minute.

Strang�!

Your name is all of those things.

You're powerful, you're glamorous, you're sexy, you're intelligent...

That's what we should call the... Strang�!

- Strang�. - Strang�!

Strang�! Strang�! Strang�! Strang�!

Okay, okay, okay...

I like it.

- Strang�. - Strang�!

Strang�! Strang�!

- Strang�! Strang�! - Strut, girl, strut.

Go on, girl. It's you, girl.

Work it, girl.

Strang� girl.

You know, thank you for introducing me to Gerard.

We're going out tonight.

Now, that's some good news.

That's good news. Great.

You realize we're never gonna be able to control her, don't you?

Why would you want to control Strang�?

Just let her do what she does and we'll get more coverage that way.

Strang� is buck wild.

Yes, you're probably right.

So listen, we've got this meeting in New Orleans on the 24th.

All the sales reps are going to be there.

There's a lot of work to be done between now and then.

Yeah, I guess, we'll have dinner or something and go over it.

Marcus.

- What? - Come on.

Stop. Excuse me. Excuse me.

You're... Wait a minute, wait a minute.

If we were both men, we're colleagues, we could have a business dinner.

You're the one flipping this into a man-woman thing.

I just said dinner, and let's discuss our work load.

That's what I'm talking about.

Just dinner?

Just our work load over a meal.

We've got a hell of a load.

Okay.

- Dinner? - Dinner.

Okay, I'll see you at dinner.

Great.

- Hey. - Hey, you're here.

I was gonna leave. I didn't think anyone was home.

I'm sorry I dozed off.

Come on in.

You look great.

You're all dressed up.

Yeah, you're looking casually fine tonight.

- Let me get that coat for you. - Thank you.

Very nice.

Marcus, this is a very nice place you have here.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Check out over here.

That's a big, wonderful bed.

- Yeah, well, I need my space. - Yeah.

Cool.

Music.

Have a look around. Go check out upstairs.

So, what you're basically trying to say is Marcus is a...

A ho. He's a straight up ho.

Hey.

Hey, don't... Hey... Come on, stop.

- He's a no-good barking mutt. - Really?

Nothing really happened between us or nothing like that.

Come on. Come on. She's crazy.

- No, this is very interesting. - No, it's not interesting.

- She is bugged. - It's very interesting.

You talking about I'm crazy. I ain't crazy. Hey, girlfriend.

Look, don't let him do it to you, girl. He got a plan.

What, you 'bout my size, my height, my weight?

Doggie style. Doggie style.

I know, girlfriend.

Hey, hey, hey. I'm trying to help you out.

You know, it's a sister thing.

Damn.

You look great.

Thank you.

You look neat.

- Thanks. - Come on in.

- Yeah. These are for you. - Thank you.

This is wild. Man, did you do all the decorations yourself?

Every bit of it. I know you think it's a little weird,

and you don't quite understand, but...

- No, no, no. - It's really...

It's eclectic.

- Eclectic, yeah. - Yeah.

It's eclectic. So you like it?

Very interesting.

That's a mask, a Goli mask.

I got it from Africa.

Now that's weird, because I didn't know

Africans were into hockey.

No. Goli is the name of the tribe.

Tribe.

It's a joke.

You know, the secret to my salmon is the rosemary in the butter sauce.

Excuse me? You were... You were saying something?

I use fresh rosemary on my salmon all the time.

- That's why it gets that... - I'm sorry, Marcus.

My mind is actually someplace else.

The Knicks game is gonna start in a few minutes.

Do you mind if we eat this in front of the TV?

- No, not at all. Sure. - No? Great.

Okay, do you want Italian or Indian?

So, like, women like guys who just...

- Yeah. Decide. - All right, I'm gonna decide.

I will choose...

- Chinese. - No.

That's cool. I mean, you know, whatever you think.

Sorry.

I'm being indecisive.

Yes. You're being indecisive.

Can I ask you, like, a personal question?

Sure.

Do you like kids?

Love kids. I paint kids.

So, do you want to have, like, a lot of kids when you get married?

I want a huge family. At least 10 children.

Ten children?

That's not a family. That's like an African village.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Are you watching this?

This is incredible.

Oh, God.

I'm going to get some espresso. You want some?

No. No, no thanks.

What a move by Jordan!

Hey, listen, Marcus.

While you're up, will you grab me a beer?

Thanks.

All right. I had a wonderful evening.

Thank you. So did I.

Yeah, even though we never got to eat dinner.

I know, but next time, I'll take control. I'll order.

- So, next week? Dinner? - You got it.

Followed by hot butt-naked sex?

Just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

So, now's the most difficult part of the evening.

- A kiss goodnight. - Yes, I know.

- But, I got a... - What?

Let's just count from five backwards real fast, and just go for it.

- All right. Close your eyes. - Okay.

- Go. - Go.

- Five, four, three, two, one, go. - Five, four, three, two, one, go.

God, I'm sorry. I missed.

- I guess I've to do it again, right? - No. No. I'll do it.

Okay.

- Bye. - Good night, Angela.

- Night. Thank you. - See you next week.

Bye.

Bye.

That's Korean for "I'm sorry I shot you,

"but I thought you were robbing my store. "

Bye-bye.

What an incredible evening.

Did you see Jordan's last shot?

The man must've been 60 feet up, huh?

Yeah, he really can jump.

You want me to come get a cab with you or something?

No. No. I'm fine.

But you can walk me to the elevator.

What a treat.

Yo, man, she's a lesbo.

- The term is gay, all right, Tyler? - All right.

Just because a woman won't sleep with you

doesn't mean that she's homosexual.

Hey, she's not a lesbian, okay?

Yo, man, it's been about three weeks.

She's not a lesbian, man.

Yo, personally, if I was dating somebody that fine,

I'd wait, what, eight or nine months.

You can wait eight or nine years

and you wouldn't never have no woman that fine.

You a wild boy.

But at least my lady ain't leavin' me for no damn Guardian Angel.

Why you do that, man? Why you do that?

I'd have fucked him up if he didn't know that karate shit.

Come on, man, come on. Calm, man. Stop, stop.

You gonna give the brother a heart attack. Okay, stop.

Breathe. Breathe. Let the brother relax, man.

All right, man. I'm just playin'. I'm just playin'.

- Can I ask you somethin' though, man? - What?

Did you bang Angela yet?

Good question. Good question.

Man, Angela and I are just tryin' to get to know each other

on a platonic level, all right?

Okay.

So, in other words, you ain't hit the twizzer!

- Not a drop. - Twizzer?

What's that? Another one of your colloquialisms for vagina, Tyler?

I know what you're gettin' at, man.

You think just because I have a low sperm count,

that I can't function normally.

But, see, I don't know why it's low.

It should be high. You ain't shootin' nothing.

Man, will you stop. Leave the brother alone.

You shouldn't make fun of the afflicted. He got a problem.

Yeah, he got a handicap sign on his balls.

- Stop that, man. - Yo, man,

a very well-known doctor told me that by wearing the proper underwear, man,

that will cool my testicle walls, man.

And that can reverse my whole condition.

Okay. Well, let me get you some Icy Hot.

Howdy Doody.

At least I have had sex in the '90s.

- What's that? - You know what I'm talking about.

Yo, don't even try. You know I gets mine!

Brother, please.

Hey, listen, you are the no-pussy- gettingest-talkingest-shittinest

- cat I know. - Yo, Marcus,

yo, don't even try it. You know me, for real.

And all I'm saying to you is that if you ain't bangin' Jacqueline yet,

something wrong with her, man. Or something wrong with the twizzer!

There's nothing wrong with Jacqueline, and there's nothing wrong with me.

It's gonna take a little longer than I thought.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

It's just that these sales conventions are really boring, you know?

I'm not looking forward to it.

Yeah, they can be pretty boring, but we're going to New Orleans.

- Have you ever been to New Orleans? - No.

It seems like it's a sexy town.

Yeah, it's a real... It's a romantic town.

You know? It's the kind of place where you just take somebody

that you love and just sit back, relax, throw on jazz,

and just... Just chill.

You know?

That's something you can do when Jacqueline gets in town, you know.

Now, where'd that come from?

I don't know. Where did that come from?

- Who said that? - I think you said it.

It sounded like it came out of your mouth. From nowhere.

I just... You know, I think you're cool.

I like you and I was just being concerned.

All up in my business.

I wasn't trying to pry, really.

Do I look like the kind of girl that would be prying?

Well, not five minutes ago, but now you look like the one.

You look up "pry" in the dictionary,

it'd be your picture next to it, like...

Look who's cookin' now.

Marcus!

- What's the matter with you? - Stop it.

- What? - Stop.

Okay, okay. Stop it, Marcus.

I think that we should go home.

Let's... Let's go home.

Well, that was pretty great, huh?

Yeah, pretty great.

Well, you enjoy that mint.

I hope it's refreshing and chocolatey.

My key won't work.

Shit.

Hey, Marcus.

Why don't you come here for a second?

I'm not playing. My key is not working. You know?

Please?

Yes!

Yes!

She's amazing. She even has pretty feet, this girl.

- Yeah? How's the coochy? - Man, that is crass.

May I help you?

No. We're okay. We're just browsing.

- He's trippin'. - Now, look, look.

I'm a realist, right?

If the coochy is good, everything else falls into place.

It's more than sex with this girl.

I dig her, you know, her spirit and her mind and everything.

She's bad!

- You know, she could be Mrs. Graham. - Yeah?

You think I'm joking. She's that bad, man.

Marcus is in love.

Yo!

Yo, I'm getting this, Marcus. Step off.

That jacket is $1,800.

No refunds.

What you think, I can't pay for it?

Well, there is no layaway plan.

Hey, we're okay. We don't need any help.

We don't keep cash in the store.

He's a sucker, man. Don't even trip on that.

- The racial... - Yeah, you right, man.

- Don't even trip on that, man. - Wait. No refund?

I mean, what's he think, we gonna take the jacket, wear it,

stank it all up to be damned, and then, like, give it back to him?

We can't get over this...

There's a certain group of people

with a natural fear of Black people.

They're programed, you know. Like, watch... Now!

See how frightened he was, just from a Black man screaming "now" at him?

He thought it was the end of the world.

- Well, what do you think? - People are gonna love this.

- You think so? - Yes, I really do.

I think that this is going to be great for her image.

Well, look at this one.

Angela.

- You like it? Really? - Yes. I like it. I like it a lot.

Great. Thank you. Guess what?

Marcus thinks we ought to go to the Caribbean to shoot this.

The Caribbean?

- It's expensive. - I know.

But it's nice. No, it's a nice idea.

Well, you know Marcus and his big ideas.

I do.

You know, speaking of Marcus,

I hear he's got a real reputation.

Bony T told you that, right?

Well, Angela,

I can confirm

that Marcus' reputation

is extremely well-deserved.

You can confirm it?

Like you and Marcus have...

Oh, God, this man. He's wonderful.

I mean, he's kind of...

He's magnificent.

And he just happens to have the best ass I have ever seen.

Hey, baby, you got a sec?

- Marcus, hi. Oh, God! - Hi.

What did I walk in on? What are y'all talking about?

God, we're talking about work.

- Work. - No, no, no.

You're both blushing. Something's up. What's up?

Art. Art.

It's a girl issue that's happening. What's up? Talk to me.

- Oh, God. - Girliness?

- Girliness. - Nothing.

- Why you leaving? It's Gerard. - It's time to go.

- No, Gerard hit it, didn't he? - No. No.

- He hit it. - Hit it?

Gerard could not hit it if he had a bat, okay?

You want to keep it a secret, huh?

But you know he hit it. It's Gerard, isn't it?

I don't know.

Have your little secrets. That's not why I came here.

I came here to tell you

what a wonderful time I had in New Orleans.

- Marcus. Hon? - And I... What?

I don't think we should

- do this in the office. - What?

- I really gotta stop. - Fuck it.

I've got to... Come on.

Why don't we get on top of the desk and get frisky and we'll... You know.

Listen.

You're not getting serious on me, are you?

What you talking about, am I getting serious? What is that?

Well, you know.

Where you want this to grow

into a relationship where...

God, we're together all the time, and stuff like that.

- Are you? - Excuse me.

I know that you are not telling me that New Orleans was a fling.

No. No. No.

I had a great time in New Orleans.

You know I had a great time in New Orleans.

So what's the problem?

Well, I just think that

New Orleans was New Orleans and we should leave it at that.

It's not like I'm trying to, you know, pressure you or anything like that.

No. No. No, no, no.

I'm not proposing or anything, you know.

- Of course not. - My tuxedo wasn't ironed

or nothing like that, you know.

I believe in taking things slow, too.

Exactly. That's what I'm talking about.

I was just wondering

when we could see each other again, that's all.

I don't know. I'm kind of busy right now.

I just found out

that I'm gonna have to be spending a lot of time out of town.

So, I'll get back to you, okay?

You'll get back to me?

I don't have my schedule.

My secretary's out of town. He won some kind of office pool.

So, I'll call you.

"Marcus, with regards to us doing it again,

"I'll get back to you. " That's...

That's a new one on Marcus.

Well, just don't make me wait too long,

'cause it's not like I gotta, you know, sit by the telephone

to wait for someone to get back to me. You know what I'm saying?

No. No.

I realize that you of all people will not be waiting alone,

so I will try and get back to you soon.

You're gonna call me, right?

Hello? Yes? Yes?

- Hello? - Yes?

- Mr. Graham? - Yes.

Miss Broyer had asked me to tell you

that she's free the evening of the 12th.

The 12th is three weeks from now.

Sorry. That's her first opening.

Should I pencil you in?

Yeah.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Marcus!

Yo, brother, man.

Gold watches, gold chains.

Yo, brother, you gotta show some gold to get that girl.

I'm cool, y'all. I already have a watch. But thank you.

- Gucci. - That's a nice watch.

- Thank you. - Watch your back.

Can you tell me what time the show starts?

Of course I am.

Brother, please, can I just...

I just want to know what time the show starts.

Hold on for a second.

What?

What time does the show start?

The show started half an hour ago.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- You're very good at this job. - I know this.

Some punkass nigga.

Yeah, hi. What time does Flight 97 from Toronto get in?

Three hours ago!

Okay, was there a Jacqueline Broyer on the plane?

What do you mean you can't give out that information?

This is flight information, right?

Then why do you call it flight...

Forget it, forget it. Thank you.

Can you check to see if there's been any accidents

between JFK and Midtown, please?

Well, what the hell is 911 for?

Well, I want to talk to the...

Hello.

You finally decided to show up.

I had some meetings that ran over so I had to take a later flight.

And you can't pick up the telephone and call somebody, right?

Well, I would have called, Marcus,

but they didn't have a phone on the plane.

I wasted $200 on tickets.

Just wasted. And it's all your fault, okay.

I'm sorry.

Why don't I just give you the money for the tickets?

It has nothing to do with the money, okay?

You're being inconsiderate. You didn't call me, you didn't do...

I was calling all over New York for you.

You could have been lying on the side of a road somewhere!

That's very sweet.

That's very, very sweet.

One of my tricks, okay? I know the flower thing.

Listen, I'm upset with you.

What you did was inconsiderate, and I'm upset.

Well, maybe I should just go.

Yeah, I'll go.

Listen, look, I had a long day.

You had a long day.

And I'm trippin', I'm buggin' out,

and maybe I'm going a little overboard.

Why don't you go dry off

and let's put this whole thing behind us.

And let's just squash this whole thing.

So, does this mean that you forgive me?

This means that I'm being a bit emotional

and I acknowledge that, and we should just squash it.

Well, I think it means you forgive me.

You have no clothes on underneath the coat.

No.

You're too much.

See? You knew... You knew you were wrong,

that's why you came over here in your drawers.

You knew that act wasn't right.

Jacqueline, Jacqueline.

Jacqueline...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, I don't want to come yet,

I don't want to come yet, I don't want to come...

No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Yeah!

Yes!

Wait, wait... No, wait.

Don't do nothing. Don't... Don't do nothing.

Don't say... Don't say nothing.

Don't do no... No, no, don't touch me.

Don't touch me. Don't move. Don't...

Don't do nothing. Just hold still.

No! No!

Shit.

You knew that was coming, you knew I was...

You knew I was...

I have to call my mother.

Where you going?

Home.

I have to give a speech in the morning to the board of directors.

But, thank you.

You were great.

God, Marcus, I was so tense when I got off the plane,

but you really relaxed me.

So, Mr. Graham, thank you.

You really have to go?

But I'll call you sometime tomorrow, okay?

Get some sleep.

Call me.

Would anyone care for some dessert?

Yeah, I'll have the tiramisu.

I just want some coffee.

And for the lady?

I'm on a diet.

- Very good. - Diet?

Diet, schmiet. What are you crazy? You look great.

I can't wait to get you down in the Caribbean.

I'm not sure I'm going anywhere.

Well, you've gotta go. Marcus has planned a wonderful trip.

We're gonna have a lot of fun.

Yeah. I'm gonna make a phone call, all right?

- Yeah, go make a phone call. - Excuse me.

We'll be here.

Hey, listen,

I know you were a little concerned about how the layout was gonna be,

but I'm picturing you

and these beautiful white sand beaches, right?

These powder blue skies.

Crystal beautiful water.

You stand in the middle of all this looking breathtaking.

So, when are we gonna fuck?

What?

According to Jacqueline, you are really great in bed.

Jacqueline told you I was really good in bed.

Well, according to Jacqueline,

you really know how to move your ass, you know?

She told you I know how to move my ass in bed.

Okay.

Okay, well, I don't know what Miss Jacqueline has told you,

but it's not that kind of party.

And I'd appreciate it if...

Hey! What's the matter with you? Stop that!

Stop, stop it. Will you stop it? Get out of here.

Man, I don't believe this.

You are going to turn down

a pussy like this?

Staring you smack in your face?

No man can turn down this pussy.

- Will you stop it? - I don't know any man

that can refuse this pussy!

Stop saying pussy, people are eating in here.

Pussy! Pussy!

Pussy! Pussy!

Pussy.

Pus, pus, pussy!

Trying to find our cat.

Where is that cat?

What's the matter with you? Stop saying that.

What's the matter with you? You don't like women?

Yes, that's it.

I don't like women, I'm gay.

You're not gay.

You're not gay, you just don't want to fuck me.

I know a gay man when I see one.

I know what a gay guy looks like. My brother is gay!

And you, you! He's gay.

And he is gay!

Okay, Marcus Graham, what did you say to her?

- What did I say? - Do you realize,

I heard this woman screaming from the bathroom?

- Do you realize that! - How dare you discuss

what I do with you in bed sexually with that woman.

As soon as you leave the room,

she starts going on about how she wants to fuck me.

How could you talk about what I do with you to this woman?

- She said that? - Yeah, she...

- And I know you said it... - She's a little off.

No, she starts talking about how my ass moves,

and I know you said it, listen.

Don't expect me to sleep with people for business reasons, okay?

You did with Lady Eloise.

Excuse me, that is a rumor.

We do not know if I slept with Lady Eloise.

I had a chitchat with Lady Eloise.

- Please, Marcus. - No, "Oh, please", my ass!

- Oh, God! - Don't discuss what I do

with you with other people.

I'll handle this.

Okay, Strang�, what's the problem?

What problem?

I'm not going.

Now, listen.

You're gonna have yourself on the plane

or I will not only take back the million-two I'm paying you,

I will sue you for every goddammed dime you've got.

Now, do you understand that?

What an absolutely exhausting evening, huh?

To tell you the truth, Marcus,

I don't feel very well.

Don't touch me.

Don't touch me. You made me feel dirty,

and I don't believe this whole thing is happening to me, okay?

Look at you.

God, Marcus, you're getting yourself all upset

and worked up over nothing.

Nothing? That's what sex is to you, nothing, huh?

What ever happened to caring and sharing and commitment?

I know it sounds a little old-fashioned,

but some people still think things like that are important.

And you made it painfully obvious that you're not one of them people.

Well, why don't I give you a second to think about it?

- Really? - Yeah.

Yeah.

I think you should, you know, do your own thing.

Okay, Marcus.

It's over.

Good night.

Good night.

Marcus! Marcus!

I don't believe the way you let her dog you out like that.

You walk around with your head down, mopin'.

Where's your pride? Where's your dignity?

You think Malcolm X died

so you could walk around lookin' like a chump?

Hey, Bony, not today, okay?

Sad, man.

First, The Fat Boys break up, now this.

There's nothin' to believe in.

Good morning, Marcus.

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Good morning, Marcus Graham.

Morning.

Marcus. Excuse me.

I need the storyboard for the Strang� spots.

I'm shooting next week.

Shoot whatever you want to shoot.

Whatever I want to shoot?

It's your show.

I have complete autonomy?

You da man.

Thank you. Bless you.

Bye.

- Excuse me, Jacqueline. - Yeah?

Can I talk to you for just a second?

Yeah, sure.

I know it's none of my business what's going on with you and Marcus,

but can you try to take it easy on him?

Please?

Excuse me?

Well, whatever it is you're doing to him,

it's starting to affect his work.

What I am doing to him?

Yeah.

Well, it seems like

whatever it is I'm doing to him,

you are taking rather personally.

Am I mistaken?

No, Jackie!

I'm just saying it is affecting his work, that's all.

Well, we don't want to do that.

Thanks, Jack.

We have something very exciting coming up.

After months of hard work by our creative team,

you are about to see the commercial

that will launch our $18 million push

for the new Strang� fragrance.

Lights, please.

How is it?

I haven't seen it. I let Nelson do it by himself.

This is my vision.

It is fabulous!

Fabulous.

Strang�. It stinks so good.

That is ridiculous.

Well, the board wanted me to let you go.

I convinced them to give you another chance.

Well, as an employee, I thank you for saving my job

and as your lover, I thank you for ruining my life.

Come on, Marcus, I didn't ruin your life.

You ruined your life.

I said this was gonna happen.

I was just hoping it didn't happen with you.

The only thing that I can suggest is

perhaps you should take a few weeks off.

Okay.

There's this one kid that you are just gonna love.

He is so cute. It's really gonna lift you up.

Marcus.

I am not going to let you sit around here and mope all day long.

Now, snap out of it!

Have you been listening to me? Cupid has his foot in my ass, Angela.

I have the cure for Cupid, all right?

Now, when I have problems with my relationships,

which is all the time,

I find out that it's better to take the focus off myself

and put it to others.

I don't want to be around no kids.

I want to go home and sit in my house

and look at the wall and listen to Sade. That's what I want to do.

- And that's fun? - Yeah, no...

But that's where my head is right now. That's where I need to be.

- I don't want to go there and paint. - Come on.

You can't paint my miseries away.

Hi.

Hi, Angela!

Thank you. Everybody, this is Mr. Graham.

Who did that?

These children are kids that I teach art to

whose schools can't afford art programs.

That's very nice.

Now, remember last week we saw...

I'm gonna whip somebody's ass.

Sit down, Marcus.

Remember last week we looked at collages from Romare Bearden, right?

Yes.

And this week, what were you supposed to do?

Bring your own collages.

Okay, who wants to show me theirs first?

Oh, boy.

Kenny.

Assalamu alaikum, my brother.

Alaikum Salaam.

Greetings, my Nubian princess.

My king.

This is a sun.

And these are the sun rays,

and this is a big, giant huge hole in the ozone layer,

and this is what's gonna happen to people and animals

if we don't fix up the ozone layer quickly.

It's very Afro-centric.

- I like this, Khanya. - What a lively little thing you are.

Okay, tell us about this.

This is my house.

This is the sun.

This is a spear, and this is a shield.

Then we have...

That right here, is my fish bowl,

and this is blood.

Then these are my clothes, and these are the fish.

Yeah, why... This is the fish bowl up here, right?

And these are the fish, this is the floor.

Why aren't the fish in the bowl?

Because I don't want them there.

- But they can't live on the floor. - See, again...

Art... Art can be very abstract.

It doesn't have to make sense. Only in the artist's mind.

- Thank you, Khanya, very much. - Thank you.

Thank you, Khanya, for your interpretations.

Okay, who's gonna be next?

Now, you cannot tell me you did not have fun in there with those kids.

I ain't sayin' it wasn't fun,

I'm just sayin' I wasn't in the right mindset.

Mindset? What do you mean?

You didn't think about Jacqueline one time while you were in there.

- That's true. - And I bet you didn't think about

the Strang� commercial either. Right?

Yeah, you're right. Well, the kids are a little more inspirational

- than I've been lately, I'll admit. - Thank you.

- I got an idea. - What?

I got an idea for the Strang� ad.

Okay.

Slow it down...

Right... Right there.

Okay. What do you think?

Well, I like it.

Hold it. Is that a nipple?

That's not a nipple. That's a shadow.

That's a nipple.

Excuse me, that is a shadow.

I think it's a shadow of a nipple.

Come on. Stop playing.

That's a nipple.

It's a shadow.

I'll blow it up.

It's a nipple,

'cause I'm droolin'.

You a little nervous about meeting Gerard's parents?

No, I'm not.

I just don't want them to think we're a couple, you know.

Don't even trip. Gerard ain't even that close

to his father, first of all.

You know, I knew it.

Gerard is really a fun guy, isn't he?

He is very much fun.

It's his father and his mother that are the square ones.

- Right? - I got it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey, what's up?

Angela's over there.

Mr. Jackson! Happy Thanksgiving!

- You look good. - How you doin', honey?

You look great.

- Thank you. So do you. - Thanks.

My parents are here.

- You look just like your dad. - Thanks.

We brought you some chitlins.

Gerard's mother...

Angela, Gerard's mother brought us a whole trough of chitlins.

- I will take the chitlins. - Yo, I want a bowl.

This the little girl you been talkin' about?

Agatha?

Angela. Angela Lewis.

- That's what I said. - Nice to meet you.

Isn't she pretty?

She looks like one of Marcus' girls.

Hey. Hey, hey. Why don't...

Hey, Agatha, why don't you go back in the kitchen

and help Mrs. Jackson with these chitlins? Go on.

- Y'all go in the kitchen. - Cutie pie.

- All right. - I want to talk to Mr. Jackson.

Mr. Jackson, come here, man.

- It's so good to see you. - It's good seeing you, too.

Every year, you do something new.

Now, where'd you get the mushroom shirt?

I'm trying to impress you. You know that.

I know it. Now, where'd you get the mushroom shirt? I got to know.

Well, the secret is you got to coordinate.

Most people don't coordinate. See, you got to coordinate.

- That's what you did. - Yeah.

Interesting.

See? I told you they don't stink when you pull the membrane out.

Momma!

Now, when you saw me, you saw the mushroom shirt.

- I said "mushroom shirt. " - Bang, mushroom shirt.

- Mushroom shirt. - Well, see,

you can't stop at the mushroom shirt.

- You got to go on. - I woulda stopped at the shirt.

- No, you gotta keep going. - Okay.

Now, let me show you something. Look at that.

You got on a mushroom belt.

Gerard, did you know your pop's had

- a mushroom belt on? - Yes!

But you don't stop there, you see.

- You gotta keep going. - What you got,

- a mushroom ring? - Yeah. That's a good idea.

Look what I got.

Gerard!

Did you know on the inside was special mushroom?

Yes!

Simply delicious, Marcus.

I keep telling Yvonne she should take cooking lessons from you.

All she do is cook pork.

I bet we've eaten everything on the pig

from the roota to the toota.

Eat the whole pig, huh?

You didn't marry me for my cookin'.

Got that right, baby.

That's why we got little Junior over there.

Daddy, please!

Must you embarrass me in front of my friends

on every possible occasion?

Now, see... See there?

That's your son.

Private school got him all fadiddy like that.

Yeah, man, chill. That's your father.

Mr. Jackson,

Angela made this meal.

I can't take credit for it. It was Angela.

- Very good. - Very good.

Good pick, Junior.

Daddy, I told you that Angela and I are just friends.

Just friends, huh?

Yes.

- Just friends. - Just friends.

Leave it alone, hon. They've told you that 500 times.

- Just let it go. - Fine.

We'll change the subject.

Now, Marcus,

I hear a girl at the office got you pussy whipped.

Why don't you reverse it?

Don't be pussy whipped.

Whip that pussy! Look...

Daddy! Please!

If you really insist on standing around,

I don't dig the long face, all right?

Man, my parents been in that bathroom damn near an hour, man.

So what?

But they been in there hittin' it.

Your parents are smoking a joint in my bathroom?

No, they been in there fuckin'.

Damn! Goodness. What's for desert?

I'm all right, man. Let's go.

Let's go eat, man.

Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?

No. That's all right.

I better run my parents home before they embarrass me any further.

Okay.

- I had a great time. - Me too.

- Listen, I'll call you tomorrow. - Okay.

I cannot tell y'all how much fun it is to be with you all.

So good.

A piece of coat, I think.

The rabbit is getting old, baby. Look at that.

We can tear another piece off and make some earrings.

- We coordinate. - Yeah.

Yo. Yo, yo, yo, yo.

- Got a hook up for tonight. - Who?

Remember that little girl I met in Emergency?

- Yeah. - Baby got her stitches out.

What up. I rap to you.

All right, all right. I gotta go.

Okay, bye, Tyler. Take care of yourself.

See you all later, all right?

You sure you don't want me to help you with the dishes?

- No, I got it. Go on home. - Okay.

Where's my coat?

Angela.

Yes?

I'm gonna have to take you up on that offer.

Thought so.

Yes.

Chitlin juice everywhere.

I don't know if I can handle it alone.

I'm so tired.

I don't care if I never see another cup or plate again in my life.

My feet are killing me.

- Can I take my shoes off? - Yeah, you can.

The whole house'll smell like funky corn chips.

Please, my feet do not stink.

Star Trek is coming on.

I love Star Trek.

- Do you really? - Yeah. I'm a Trekkie.

Get out of here. I'm a Trekkie.

Look at that. Ain't Captain Kirk the coolest white man on the planet?

You can always tell who's gonna get killed when you watch this show.

Now, look who... Look who's beaming down.

You see Kirk, McCoy, Spock and Yeoman Johnson.

Now, doesn't Yeoman Johnson know he's gonna get killed?

If I was Yeoman Johnson, I'd say,

"Hey, I'm not going. I know what's gonna happen. "

You know, it's amazing how you've just sort of

broken down this whole Star Trek thing.

I'm a Trekkie, that's why I broke it down

to the barest essence of the Trek.

I'm a Trekkie. I know everything about Star Trek.

- What's Captain Kirk's first name? - Captain...

Captain.

No, it's not Captain.

His name is James T. Kirk. See?

What's Mr. Spock's last name?

You didn't even know that...

His name is Spock Jenkins.

One of the Jenkins boys from Vulcan.

We'll talk about it later.

Hey, what are we doin'?

We're kissing.

We ain't supposed to be kissing.

Why?

'Cause we're friends.

So?

Friends can kiss.

It's good. It's very good.

Congratulations, Marcus.

Congratulate Angela. It was mostly her idea.

Nice going, Angela.

Thanks.

Hey, you.

Yo, man, it's racial.

- Well, expand. - All right, man, check it out.

The white ball dominates everything, right?

Knocks the shit out of the yellow ball,

the red ball, right?

And the game's over

when the white ball drives the black ball

completely off the table.

Now why is that?

I don't know, but I'm sure you'll tell me, my brother.

Sure, you're right.

Look,

it's because of the white man's fear

of the sexual potency of Black balls.

Now, that one was kind of interesting. That was interesting.

- You see... - I see where you're going.

And the pool table is the Earth, that's why it's green.

See, your shit is coming out now.

And the world, they used to think it was flat.

School him!

Hey, when you do The Oprah Winfrey Show,

I want to be in the front row.

It's not about jokes. Me and him are here. It's not about...

Hey, that one was that one was kind of deep.

You went to the bottom of the ocean on that one.

Yeah, but losers get the beers, so.

I'm gonna get the beer, but see how our thing is here?

Yeah. We are on the same wavelength.

- See? There it is. - We're the same cat.

- Get him, then. - I'll get him. I'm gonna work on him.

- All right. - All right.

Yo, man, he's gettin' worse.

We got to find him a woman, quick!

He'll be all right.

Hey, how are things with you and Angela?

We're cool, man. You know.

But we went out a couple of times, man, but she was gettin' so involved.

I said, "Look, I'm just gonna pull back. "

Cool.

Yeah, yeah. You know, I told her I said, "Look here, girl,

"do your thing.

"See other men, because I'm gonna see other women, you know. "

I just didn't want to break her heart right off.

You know, I just pull out easy.

Okay, good. Good. So you don't mind if she goes out with other guys then?

Hell no.

You thinkin' of hookin' her up with Tyler?

- No, no, nothin' like that. - Why you askin', man?

I was just curious.

I don't believe this shit.

Why you askin', man?

You can't even look me in my eye, can you, Marcus?

Did you sleep with Angela?

Yeah, I did.

Why do you always have to have all the girls, Marcus?

You just said a couple seconds ago you didn't care who she went out with,

now you find out it's me, and you're flippin', you know?

You're being a hypocrite.

I don't want to hear that bullshit, man!

This is different.

Angela is a nice girl.

So I can't be with a nice girl?

No!

'Cause all you gonna do is dog her out like you do every woman in your life.

Okay, tell me this, man, why Angela?

What, she has nice feet?

It has nothin' to do with her feet or anything like that, man.

- I care about this girl. - Man, you don't care about nobody

but yourself, man.

So when we... When we can rise as a people,

we runnin' things, you know?

What'd you do, man?

Guess.

Marcus, come quick, I got something I want to show you.

- What? - I want to show you something.

Get out of here. I'm in the shower.

Marcus!

Stop! Hey, hey!

- Come on now. - I'm soaking wet.

Angela, you gonna make me catch a cold out here, you know.

No, you won't. Look.

Well, what do you think?

Blue people.

- Yeah, that's nice. Naked blue people. - What do you think?

- Do you like it? - Yes, very much.

Okay, okay. Look at it and tell me how it makes you feel.

Honestly, it's making me kind of horny.

No! Feel!

And I would like to think I was the inspiration for the blue man.

- No! No! No... - I think you should be blue.

- You're gonna get paint all over me. - Yes, exactly.

- The phone's ringing. - I'm gonna get paint all over.

Better take your clothes off. Take them off. Take 'em off.

- Take 'em off... - No.

Hello?

Jacqueline.

Hi. How you doin'?

He's right here, actually.

No. No, we weren't busy at all. Here he is.

Okay.

Hey.

Yeah.

No, that was Angela. She just

stopped by for a second.

Really?

Well, that's... Hey! Hey! Your spot tested through the roof.

Yeah. Yeah, she's happy.

Yes, absolutely! Absolutely.

Well, that's perfect. Great. Yeah.

Peace. Hey!

Hey, they're showin' the spot

to the board of directors on Friday night

and Jacqueline wants me to be there.

Great.

Wait. You don't have a problem with that?

No.

Hey, I will call her and tell her that...

You sure?

Cool.

That's bad.

Blue people.

You are brilliant! God!

Marcus, they loved it. They loved it.

You hear the little Frenchman screaming magnifique,

with a little bead of sweat running down his face, man.

I knew I had that cat.

Marcus, you are incredibly talented.

Well, I thank you.

Lady Eloise thanks you!

- Tell her I said hey. - I'm sure Strang�

would like to thank you personally.

Yeah, she'd like to thank the hell out of me.

I have to say,

it's very nice to have the old Marcus back.

I was kind of worried about you.

- Really? - You seemed...

You seemed so... I don't know.

Can I be honest?

Please.

Well, you seemed desperate.

And unsure of yourself.

- Pathetic? - Kind of pathetic.

But look at you now. You're...

You're relaxed.

You're more confident.

Just like the man I met in that elevator.

- So, I got it goin' on again. - Yeah, you do. I like it.

I find it very attractive.

How'd it go last night?

It went okay.

Just okay?

Must have gone pretty well.

You didn't get home till the middle of the night.

I went for a walk so I could sort some things out that was in my head.

I was trippin' on it.

Like the fact that you're still in love with Jacqueline, right?

Angela,

I saw the woman,

and a bunch of stuff that was in me

I didn't even know was still there came out.

Things happened, and...

There's certain things you just have no control over, all right?

Really? Like what?

Like love.

Love?

You know...

What do you know about love?

What do you possibly think you know about love?

You know, I'm sick and tired of men

using love like it's some kind of disease you just catch.

Love should have brought your ass home last night!

Didn't you just hear me say I was sorry?

I heard you say you're sorry. You're sorry,

and you're tired.

You don't love me. You don't love Jacqueline.

You only love your damn self.

How could you say I never cared about you?

You know, Jacqueline says that I'm a better person now

and I know I owe that all to you.

I'm out of here.

I'll get the rest of my things later.

Let me just tell you one more thing.

I might not be all glamorous,

and I don't have hair weaved all down my back,

but let me tell you one great thing about me, all right?

I've got heart.

You know the bad thing about having a heart, Marcus?

Is that it gets broken when you deal with people like you.

Now stay the fuck out of my life!

She left you, huh?

Yeah. She did.

I guess I should feel happy, but I don't.

I hate to see another person in pain.

Well, thank you very much. That's very nice of you, Yvonne.

- Good night. - So...

Would you like to come over for a cup of coffee?

Not even if Jesus was pouring it.

Some motherfuckers are so blind,

they can't see a good thing when it's staring them in the face.

Why don't you just leap your Black ass off the ledge and fuck you!

- I can't do this. - I have condoms.

No, it's not that. I gotta go.

What?

I'm in love with somebody.

Angela.

So now you think that you're in love with Angela.

No. No, no.

I know just at this moment.

I know I'm in love with that woman.

Marcus, if you are in love with Angela,

why are you here with me?

Exactly.

Shit! Damn it!

Hold on!

- Yo, what's up, man? - What's up?

Come on in.

Welcome to the penthouse.

It's kind of smoky in here, chief.

No, no, no. Wait, wait, that ain't smoke, all right?

That's aroma.

Yo, can you get that for me?

Think that might be a little surprise.

What's up, man? Where you going?

Yo, man! Talk!

What's up, man?

Hey, how're you doing?

So, you seen Angela lately?

No, I hear she's over at Barton and Dobbs now.

Yeah, I heard she got promoted to creative director.

Really? Where'd you hear that?

Bony T told me.

Hey, look, man.

- You don't have to say anything. - Yes, I do. I'm really sorry, Gerard.

I've known you all my life, man. You're like my brother, you know.

I love you and I don't want to go through this, man.

Listen, it happened, and I'm sorry, and I feel bad.

How long you gonna have me stand here beggin'?

You know what I'm trying to say, right?

You gonna milk all the apologies out of me.

- It's cool. - All right, man.

- My man. - All right.

Yo, man. What's up, man?

Y'all gonna let a girl come between us, man? What's up?

We supposed to be here, man. We boys, man.

We don't hang out no more, or nothin', man.

Man, this shit hurt, man.

- Y'all make up now, man! - We just, you know, made up, man.

Well, then hug.

We hugged just now. We gave each other a pat

and we boys again.

All right, then give it to me!

We just hugged already.

No, man. One big motherfuckin' hug, man.

Get here, man. I love y'all, man.

- Y'all ready to eat? - Yeah.

All right.

Yo, is that my shit?

Damn, not the penthouse!

No. It's all wrong.

You know that memo I showed you?

Refer to it and show me a new mockup in the morning.

This is way off, Tye.

We are not gonna shoot this until it's right.

- Angela! - Come on!

Hi. We're looking for Angela.

No, we're not.

What?

Excuse me for a second, please.

- What are you two doing here? - Angela!

I haven't seen you in so long.

Four months and two weeks to be exact.

- Thank you. - We miss you. Where have you been?

I miss you, too, and I've been working.

I got this new job. It's very demanding.

It requires me to work long hours,

and I just haven't had the time to teach the class anymore,

- I'm sorry. - You always had time for us.

I know. Let me tell you something, okay?

You know what I had to do?

I had to rearrange my priorities in life.

Angela had to start looking out for Angela.

How'd you get here, anyway?

- Our new teacher brought us. - Your new teacher?

Where is she?

- He. - He.

Well, where is he?

I think we best get going now.

Good bye, my queen.

- Okay. - Peace.

My brother.

That's pretty low, using the kids, Marcus.

What else could I do?

Look I been sending you letters, Angela, and I know you got 'em.

I'm just not real big on words on paper these days.

Okay.

I know I fucked up.

You're damn right you fucked up.

You hurt me.

I miss you.

No. I really, really miss you.

I've never missed anybody in my life, and I miss you.

- I'm in love with you. - Well, this isn't about your love.

It's about the fact that you can't love me

the way I deserve to be loved.

That's what this is about.

You think I'd come down here and bother you

unless I was ready to be everything you wanted in a relationship?

I want to be straight up about everything.

I want to have a monogamous relationship.

You are my best friend. I'm miserable without you.

I even quit my job because of you.

Did I ask you to quit your job?

- Why are you doing this? - Doing what?

Being all stiff and cold, and hiding behind your work.

I'm taking care of my business.

And I suggest you take care of yours.

Listen,

I know having a great job is cool and all of that,

but you used to have a good time.

You used to be with these kids,

and me and you used to have fun and we had a great life.

You had everything.

Give me one reason why I should take you back.

One.

I didn't think you could.

Do you still love me?

Because I love you so much.

I miss you.

I'm scared.

And I'm miserable.

I can't breathe without you.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

Now we should just go to your place and get your things

- and go to my place. - No, no, no.

I'm not moving into your house this time.

I'm staying in my place with my own things.

- I want 24/7. - No, no.

And that's how committed I am.

No. No. I'm not doing it.

If you even turn and look at her,

I will break your fucking neck.

I'm not even looking at that woman.

I was looking at this woman, thinking about the future.

That's you in 15 years.

You better still love me in 15 years.

Did you see? She's by herself right now. I'm just...

I'm playing. I'm playin'.