All language subtitles for 2 Broke Girls (2011) - S06E17 - And the Jessica Shmessica (1080p AMZN

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:03,137 Last check, girl. 2 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:05,506 And my boyfriend Bobby will be here soon. 3 00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,175 He's sleeping over again. 4 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,809 My boyfriend, Bobby, I mean. 5 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,712 You know that cute guy Bobby, my boyfriend? 6 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,382 Oh, I know your boyfriend Bobby. 7 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:18,419 You name-drop him like you're Gayle and he's Oprah. 8 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,454 Why don't you ever stay at Bobby's? 9 00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,390 His place can't be worse than ours. 10 00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:25,193 Unless he's what's living in our wall. 11 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:28,262 No, that's definitely a woman sobbing in there. 12 00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:29,563 And I can't stay at Bobby's 13 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,465 'cause he lives at home with his family. 14 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,134 I didn't know Bobby lived at home. 15 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,735 Wish I could move back home. 16 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,537 They don't make Pontiacs anymore. 17 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,174 The famous Bobby lives at home? 18 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:43,177 Sounds like you landed a real winner. 19 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:45,446 Actually, Han, Bobby only moved back home 20 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,082 because his dad died last year. 21 00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:51,519 H-E-double hockey sticks! 22 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,155 The one guy I take a shot at, ever, 23 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,790 and he's the freakin' Orphan Annie! 24 00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,227 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 25 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:04,565 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 26 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,603 Hey, I'm Bobby. 27 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,572 I'm looking for my girlfriend Caroline. 28 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,707 You know that cute girl, Caroline? 29 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,743 My girlfriend. 30 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:19,580 Bobby. Now, where have I heard that name before? 31 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,652 Bobby, my boyfriend, stop. 32 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,254 Hey, before I forget. 33 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,122 My mom is throwing a party tomorrow-- 34 00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,590 -Shhh! -Are you crazy? 35 00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:36,130 Bobby, never discuss a party in the diner. 36 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,665 If the people we work with, 37 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:42,303 and I'm using "people" in the loosest sense possible-- 38 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:47,308 if they hear about a party, they'll come to it! 39 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,478 We had to learn Navajo 40 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,413 just so we could talk about our weekend plans 41 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,348 without them overhearing. 42 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:57,351 And then they learned Navajo. 43 00:01:57,385 --> 00:02:01,522 Now it makes sense that Earl asked me for wampum yesterday. 44 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:05,326 Okay, so my mom is throwing this party at our house tomorrow. 45 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,594 You want to meet my family? 46 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,463 I'd love to meet them! 47 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:12,666 Especially your mom. 48 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,769 It goes without saying, but she's gonna love me. 49 00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:19,873 Why? Does she love people who spit a little when they talk? 50 00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,342 I don't spit when I talk. 51 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,744 Nope, I saw it that time. 52 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:24,778 But that's okay. 53 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,247 Moms love me almost as much 54 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,482 as truckers love Max. 55 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:32,186 You model for one mud flap, you're made for life. 56 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,421 You're coming too, right, Max? 57 00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:34,755 My whole family's gonna be there. 58 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,724 Caroline's whole family should be there, too. 59 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,760 Aww, that's so sweet. 60 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,362 Sounds good. 61 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,498 What time should I bring the sacrificial raccoon? 62 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,503 Oh, is it not a birthday? 63 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:52,206 You could hear from back there? 64 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:55,276 And through the wall in my office. 65 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,311 Can't wait for the party. 66 00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:59,213 Can I bring a Jell-O dessert? 67 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:01,749 I have a new Pikachu mold I've been dying to try out. 68 00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:05,686 Is it the same Pikachu mold that you came out of? 69 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:09,323 Ah, so, about this party we're all invited to, 70 00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:12,826 is it open bar, or do we have to go through the cabinets again? 71 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:18,966 So what kind of perfume does your mom wear? 72 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,434 I need to know for when I tell her 73 00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:21,635 I've always loved it 74 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,337 and can't believe she wears it too. 75 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,306 I don't know, but please don't wear it 76 00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,375 if you ever want to have sex with me again. 77 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,612 Oh, uh, one more thing. 78 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,581 Don't tell her that I spent the night here. 79 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,449 She thinks I stayed at my friend Brian's. 80 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:36,617 She's kind of old-fashioned. 81 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,252 Can't be that old-fashioned. 82 00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:41,455 She's cool with you sleeping with your friend Brian. 83 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:42,690 All right, I'll see you later. 84 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,991 I got to go help my mom set up for the party. 85 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,727 Uh, if I'm coming off as too much of a bad boy, 86 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,262 I can tone it down. 87 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:57,338 I'll be sure to do cheek kisses at your house. 88 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,013 So! 89 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,648 Is there gonna be weed at this party, 90 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,817 or can I make some money selling? 91 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,552 Max, it is really important to me 92 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,786 that Bobby's mom likes me, 93 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,988 which is why I hid your weed 94 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:17,925 and bought her a lovely gift to bring. 95 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:21,729 In lieu of gifts, I always just wear a low-cut shirt. 96 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,797 But I see why you had to buy something. 97 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,901 Look. Macaron. 98 00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:31,839 Uh, you're maca-wrong, 99 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,941 'cause those are macaroons. 100 00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,676 And I think I maca-ruined them 101 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:36,844 when I ate the filling out of 'em. 102 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:45,353 Wait, you're going to Bobby's mom's party dressed like that? 103 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:49,690 Are you aware your husband is dressed for a canoe trip? 104 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,091 I Google Earth-ed the house. 105 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,494 There's a pool at the house next door. 106 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:57,030 And a short fence. 107 00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,667 Actually, the party was canceled. 108 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,101 I'm so sorry. 109 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,870 You'll have to meet Bobby's family 110 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,705 sometime never on. 111 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,674 Yep, party canceled. 112 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,041 There was a sinkhole. 113 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,843 Uh, still haven't found the house. 114 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:11,779 Everyone's dead. 115 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,814 That's horrible. 116 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:16,550 I pre-paid a sitter. 117 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:19,853 Oh, I guess we'll just hang out here then. 118 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,689 And since there's no pool-- 119 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,424 Ahh! Okay! Okay, fine! 120 00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:24,992 The party's not canceled. There's no sinkhole. 121 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,094 No one's dead. Come at 4:00. 122 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:29,897 Just please don't embarrass me. 123 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:33,567 Uh, I think that was directed at you, Max. 124 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,937 Awkward. 125 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,546 -Hey. -Hi. 126 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,381 We're here early, 'cause moms love promptness, 127 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:51,018 and our Uber driver was on the front end of a police chase. 128 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,754 You're gonna nail it. My mom's favorite show's "Cops." 129 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,023 Oh, I'm a series regular. 130 00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:58,626 Oh, nice staircase. 131 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,961 You get along with the folks that live up there? 132 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,863 Uh, sometimes. 133 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,932 Depends how my sisters are feeling, 134 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,567 'cause that is still part of the house. 135 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,905 Wow! 136 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,607 You didn't tell us you lived in a castle. 137 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:16,577 Look at the TV and chairs! 138 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,978 You guys must've gotten this stuff 139 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,714 right after they laid it out on the curb. 140 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:24,652 Bobby, I found the program from your sixth grade play. 141 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,654 You were so good. 142 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,589 Like Leonardo DiCaprio. 143 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:29,757 Only not bloated. 144 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:34,495 Ma, I played a tree, and I still got booed. 145 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:35,896 Sorry, she likes to brag about me. 146 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,030 This is my mom. 147 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,699 Hi, Bobby's mom. I'm Max. 148 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,801 May I say you have a beautiful house? 149 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,938 And that's high praise, 'cause I've been in five. 150 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,206 And I'm Caroline. 151 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,875 Oh, that scent you're wearing 152 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,176 is my all-time favorite. 153 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,011 I sat on a deviled egg. 154 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,916 I hope you like macaron. 155 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,018 You don't think I have enough food? 156 00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:03,924 I know this sounds insane, 157 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:07,661 but I don't know if she love-love-loved me. 158 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,930 Don't worry--she takes a little time to warm up, 159 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,164 but when she does, 160 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,834 you'll only notice a little difference. 161 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,770 Uh, Bobby--question. 162 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:21,174 How did you get Queen Elizabeth to sell you her throne? 163 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,847 Bobby, you only invited girls? 164 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,717 You knew I wanted a sausage-fest. 165 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,552 I did bring macaron. 166 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,854 You must be Bobby's sister, Denise. 167 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,255 I'm Caroline. 168 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:39,793 I'm Max, and I should have worn a diaper here. 169 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:43,030 Seriously, Bobby, if you never invite any guys over, 170 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,131 how am I gonna find one? 171 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,699 Ma cancelled my Match.com account. 172 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,068 I'm not paying $9.99 a month 173 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,170 for you to be a slut! 174 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:53,073 Ma! Stay out of my business! 175 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:56,143 You treat me like I'm still in my 30s! 176 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,579 Well, if there aren't gonna be any guys here, 177 00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:01,181 I'm gonna go smoke a J and do my jigsaw. 178 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:06,219 Definitely popping by Denise's room later. 179 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,921 Bobby, I can't explain it, 180 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:11,091 but somehow, when you stock the Tab in the garage fridge, 181 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,760 it just tastes better. 182 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,094 Garage fridge? 183 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,163 How rich are you people? 184 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,732 You know who loved an ice-cold Tab? 185 00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,200 Jessica. 186 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,702 Ma! Really? 187 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,605 I specifically asked you not to bring up Jessica. 188 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,874 Oops. 189 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,075 Who's Jessica? 190 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,309 She's my ex. 191 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,545 We stopped dating over a year ago. 192 00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:32,546 Dating? 193 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,082 You were engaged to be engaged! 194 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,251 I'm sitting, but I'm lying down. 195 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,157 She was the only girl I ever thought 196 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,026 was good enough for my Bobby. 197 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,695 No offense, hon, but look at her. 198 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:51,164 With that face, she could've been a dental hygienist. 199 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,766 She's on your wall? 200 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,136 Only to cover a hole that Denise punched in it... 201 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,938 when I broke up with Jessica. 202 00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,207 Did someone say Jessica? 203 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,042 Who is that? 204 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,611 And please don't say Jessica. 205 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,679 That--that's my other sister, Chrissy. 206 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,581 She doesn't come out of her room these days. 207 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,818 -She's still in mourning. -Oh, over your dad? 208 00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:11,919 Over Jessica. 209 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,154 She hasn't come out of her room since they broke up. 210 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:18,558 And she was this close to assistant manager at TCBY. 211 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,732 I'm over Jessica. My family less so. 212 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,303 Oh, my God! 213 00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:33,340 This chair has another chair just for your feet! 214 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,914 Bobby, why didn't you tell me about Jessica? 215 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:44,785 I told you about my father being in prison. 216 00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,353 No, you didn't. 217 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,289 My father's in prison. 218 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,324 Jessica's not important to me. 219 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:54,261 I think about her so little, she might as well be AOL. 220 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,329 I'm on AOL. 221 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,799 Oh, my God, we know nothing about each other. 222 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:02,035 Bobby, did you stock the kitchen fridge, too? 223 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,971 'Cause I'm getting that crisp, clean, bottle taste 224 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,372 from a can here. 225 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,408 I took my shoes off. Hope that's okay. 226 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,344 Bobby, stop standing there staring at Jessica. 227 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,046 Give someone else a turn. 228 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,682 I'm doing a load. 229 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,616 Go up to your room and get your dirties. 230 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,386 I--I have to give 'em to her. 231 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,788 Otherwise she's gonna go through my stuff, 232 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,089 and I have a check from my grandpa 233 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:25,058 I don't want her to know about. 234 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,027 Chrissy! I'm doing a wash! 235 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:33,133 And fold everything in threes this time, Ma! 236 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,435 The way Jessica used to! 237 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,071 I'll try, but I'm not perfect. 238 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,173 That was Jessica's thing. 239 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,742 Got that right, Ma! 240 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:45,746 The woman was without flaws! 241 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,882 You might want to wash that alone. 242 00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:51,685 Believe it or not, it's a white. 243 00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,420 Max, what are you doing? 244 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,055 Relax, I have the other one on. 245 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,323 No one's gonna get hurt. 246 00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,958 I just need to stay calm 247 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,460 and figure out a way to win Bobby's mother over. 248 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,062 I have to! I have to! 249 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,197 You trying to get some of that sweet, sweet 250 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,198 grandpa-check money? 251 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,302 Somebody get the frickin' door! 252 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,338 Uh, I'll get the frickin' door. 253 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,372 No, no, no, no, no. 254 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,207 I have to win these people over. 255 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,409 I freaking got it, Chrissy. 256 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,415 Oh, great. This should help. 257 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,825 Earl's got five more minutes in that chair. 258 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,827 I'll bounce an old man. 259 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:37,064 Whose turn is it to see if he's breathing? 260 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,833 Oh, no, he's okay. 261 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:42,102 He's just having a running dream. 262 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,105 You'll get that squirrel, buddy. 263 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,107 Well, clock's ticking. 264 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,809 Look, elephant in the room, 265 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:52,312 but I got to see what porno looks like on that screen. 266 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:53,513 Oh, yeah, look. 267 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,851 I brought "Manchester by the Double D's." 268 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,419 You see why we had to learn Navajo? 269 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:02,222 It's all fine. My mother loves having company. 270 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:05,492 Oh, not kidding; they're really going to watch it 271 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,294 It doesn't fit. 272 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,230 Heh, if I had a nickel for every time I've said that. 273 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,033 Yeah, he's got that right. 274 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,304 Bobby, I told you. 275 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,939 You can't leave the front door open. 276 00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,008 We live too close to the YMCA. 277 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,443 No, Ma, these are Caroline's friends. 278 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,145 They speak Navajo. 279 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,447 Okay, well, I hope they like Italian, 280 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,250 'cause that's what I spent all night making. 281 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,954 You know, I-- I think she's warming up. 282 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:40,493 You see I'm dealing with a perfect ex-girlfriend situation. 283 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,462 I need you to be on my side. 284 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,596 Fine. 285 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:46,499 I don't think Jessica made people take sides, just FYI. 286 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:47,968 Yeah, I think it's time for me 287 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,502 to switch my focus from the mom to Denise. 288 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,272 I forgot, I'm actually better with sisters. 289 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,374 I have to be! I have to be! 290 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,176 Well, you better be. 291 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,410 'Cause I'm gonna tell you the same thing 292 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,346 I told my old boyfriend, Missionary Steve: 293 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,448 it's time to turn this thing around. 294 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,284 Denise, there you are! 295 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:07,154 Oh, look at you. I love a midday costume change. 296 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:11,124 And you said I couldn't wear my eating robe to the party. 297 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,393 Well, since there aren't gonna be any guys here, 298 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:16,063 I figured I'd just get ready for bed. 299 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:20,433 Ooh, who's the hottie over there? 300 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,470 The one running in his sleep 301 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:27,574 or the one fanning his underarms with a plate? 302 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,576 The muscular one. 303 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:32,412 Muscular? You're gonna have to point. 304 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:35,248 Is there a different "over there"? 305 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:37,117 Come on, guys, in the dining room. 306 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,152 You have to taste the sauce I made. 307 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,354 I used Jessica's recipe. 308 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,456 It's a frickin' delight! 309 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,425 Watch your mouth, young lady! 310 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:46,826 But she's right. 311 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,299 Hello. 312 00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:02,275 Before we start eating, 313 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,577 Max, would you like to say grace? 314 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:09,116 Thanks, God? 315 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:14,121 I'll do it. 316 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,923 We thank God and his mother, 317 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,891 'cause we know his mother does everything. 318 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,460 And he would never date a woman without getting her approval. 319 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:24,431 Okay, Ma, I don't think Jesus was a big dater. 320 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:27,200 He wasn't when I knew him. 321 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,402 Han, I need you to flirt with Denise. 322 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,271 -She likes you. -I got that. 323 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,140 Her hand is on my knee. 324 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,208 Oop, not my knee anymore. 325 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,612 Excuse my reach. 326 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:42,582 You like them? I got 'em for Christmas. 327 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:43,550 We all chipped in. 328 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,686 Jessica worked very closely with the doctor 329 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,357 to design the shape texture of the nipples. 330 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,325 I got her a calendar. 331 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,427 I don't know who Jessica is, 332 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,964 but I need the sauce recipe. 333 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,431 And my lovely wife and I 334 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,668 wouldn't mind seeing those nipples at some point. 335 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:05,172 Well, there's no way they're as good as this sauce. 336 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,439 Mmm, mm-mm. 337 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:09,109 Anyway, Caroline owns a dessert bar. 338 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,478 What the hell is that? 339 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,180 Max, what do you think of the sauce? 340 00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:16,416 Max, you can be honest if you don't love it. 341 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,552 What? More. 342 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,989 -Mmm, mmm. -Okay, we get it. 343 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,323 You like Jessica's sauce. 344 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,293 Mmm, you know, I'm so full, 345 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,395 but I can't stop. 346 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,097 You don't have to eat it. 347 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,531 Are you crazy? 348 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:35,735 This is a once in a lifetime sauce. 349 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,706 I'm gonna push my Spanx to the limit. 350 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,308 Could someone switch seats with me? 351 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,675 What's going on over there, Denise? 352 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,244 You keeping your hands to yourself? 353 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:47,414 Uh, I'll sit next to her. 354 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,382 I'd like to move down and sit next to Caroline. 355 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,384 Oh, so now you don't want to sit next to your mother? 356 00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,586 I'm not hungry anyway. 357 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:58,458 I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower. 358 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,394 There's a big hole in our shower curtain. 359 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:05,398 Thanks, but I use a doctor-prescribed soap. 360 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:07,034 Thanks a lot, Han. 361 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,502 You couldn't just take a shower with her for me? 362 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,704 Ma! Where's my plate? 363 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,307 Could somebody take a plate up to Chrissy? 364 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,443 She's still too upset to come out. 365 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,678 -You know, because of-- -We know, Ma. 366 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,080 I'll do it. 367 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,248 'Cause I--I don't even like this sauce. 368 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:26,053 No, I'll--I'll bring Chrissy her plate. 369 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,521 She's my last chance. 370 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,057 And save me some of that sauce. 371 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,591 It's the best thing I've ever had. 372 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:34,094 Don't worry, I filled your purse with it. 373 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,266 Does anyone work here? 374 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,567 Where's my food? 375 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,272 Well, well, well, Jessica. 376 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,606 You may make a great sauce, 377 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,042 but you can't stop me. 378 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,346 What's going on out there? 379 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,381 I heard a crash! 380 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,383 Uh, everything's fine! 381 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,385 A truck hit a kid outside. 382 00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,054 Max, can you come here for a second? 383 00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,622 What's all the commotion? 384 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,391 I can't eat my frickin' feelings 385 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,593 if there's no food! 386 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,195 Was the kid on a bike? 387 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:12,632 Oh, my God! Look what you did to Jessica! 388 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,102 Why are you so jealous of her, Caroline? 389 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,404 You'll never be Jessica, okay? None of us will! 390 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,805 I didn't do it! 391 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,540 She just fell off the wall. 392 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:23,176 Max, she is trying to destroy me. 393 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,544 Where's my food? 394 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,314 I'm starting to scratch my arms again! 395 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,082 Okay, I'll fix the picture. 396 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,083 Give her my plate. 397 00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,551 Hang on. 398 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,686 Let me just take one more big bite. 399 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,589 Give me a little of that. 400 00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:39,259 Oh, damn you, Jessica! 401 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,168 Max, how did you fix Jessica's picture? 402 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,636 It looks perfect! 403 00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,204 Wasn't easy. 404 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,739 I tried not to make eye contact with her, 405 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,874 'cause I was starting to get feelings. 406 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,343 Hey, there you are. 407 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,878 Are you okay? I know my family can be a lot. 408 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,348 No, I'm having a great time. 409 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,216 You think your mom needs help 410 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,551 putting out that macaron? 411 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,885 I noticed they're not out. 412 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,355 I also noticed one in the birdcage. 413 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,556 You know what? 414 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,824 If you're not having a good time, we can leave. 415 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,726 I'm a grown man. She's not the boss of me. 416 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,795 - Bobby! - Coming, Ma! 417 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,899 Caroline, relax. 418 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,668 Nobody likes you right away. 419 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,136 I just got there last year, 420 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:25,572 and there's still a lot of red flags. 421 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:33,346 Thank you for letting me borrow Denise's Snuggie. 422 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:36,783 I feel like I'm back in the womb again. 423 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,652 But it doesn't reek of cigarettes. 424 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,521 Wait. 425 00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:44,291 I think it does. 426 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,325 I like it. 427 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,659 I'm gonna like it even more 428 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:49,796 when it's on the floor tonight. 429 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,464 Is that one still breathing? 430 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:57,637 All right, Ma, I'm going to karate. 431 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:58,638 Karate? 432 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,640 Well, well, well. 433 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,375 Tae Kwon Hello. 434 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,577 I happen to be a yellow belt. 435 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,845 Oh, yeah? 436 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,550 Oh, yeah. 437 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,420 I got five of the macaron back from the birdcage. 438 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:16,389 I'll get your Snuggie back to you by tomorrow. 439 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,325 I'll give to Bobby in the morning 440 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,926 when he leaves Caroline's. 441 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,731 You said you slept at Brian's. 442 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,433 You lying to me now? 443 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:27,900 Ma... 444 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,969 I was with Caroline last night. 445 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,372 But I didn't see him naked. 446 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,641 I did. Our bathroom door doesn't lock. 447 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,377 I see why he's your favorite, Mrs. F. 448 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,447 Uh, we're watching something. 449 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,650 Can you two talk somewhere else? 450 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,418 It's fine. I'll turn it up. 451 00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,420 Where--where's the remote? 452 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:50,390 Whoa, Ma, I--I only got engaged to be engaged 453 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,492 'cause Dad was sick, and I wanted you to be happy. 454 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,927 But now I'm with Caroline, and... 455 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,429 Caroline makes me happy. 456 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,965 -I do? -She does? 457 00:19:58,998 --> 00:19:59,966 You do. 458 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,569 She does. 459 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:07,974 -Okay, it was-- -Uh, it was a sign... 460 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:12,445 that Jessica didn't belong there anymore. 461 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:14,781 You know what? 462 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,449 You make my Bobby smile. 463 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,551 And he's even more handsome when he smiles. 464 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,920 Chrissy, come down and meet Caroline! 465 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:24,691 She hot? Cause I don't like uggos, Ma. 466 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,826 She's gorgeous. 467 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,461 She looks like me. 468 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:31,598 Just with a little more mustache. 469 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,366 Welcome to our home, girls. 470 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,435 Oh, thank you! 471 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,371 You have no idea how much this means to me! 472 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,009 Try and get out of this hold. 473 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:45,278 Who says I want to? 474 00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:48,748 So same time next Sunday? 33831

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.