All language subtitles for 2 Broke Girls (2011) - S06E10 - And the Himmicane (1080p AMZN

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,137 Max, guess who's getting a divorce. 2 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:06,040 Please tell me it's us. 3 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:09,143 Nope, we'll be together way past when we should be. 4 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,445 Like The Rolling Stones. 5 00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:15,249 It's Jason and Winona Williams. 6 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:18,152 Wow, I really thought those two were gonna make it. 7 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:22,256 We're talking about those two sisters who play tennis, right? 8 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,691 Never heard of them, but there are a lot 9 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,593 of famous people I've never heard of. 10 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,129 Like that guy who's on TV sometimes and he's always like, 11 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,664 "Blah, blah, I'm on TV." 12 00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,833 Yeah, that's Bill Maher. 13 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,669 Anyway, they're rich, globe-trotting socialites, 14 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,738 and they want to throw a party at our dessert bar 15 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,607 to celebrate the collapse of their marriage. 16 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,809 They celebrate divorce now? 17 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,079 My mom missed out on, like, 12 parties. 18 00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,815 They're coming tomorrow to see the place, so maybe don't 19 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:50,084 wear your "Team Satan" T-shirt. 20 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,854 Why, 'cause there's a stain on it? 21 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,191 No, this could be a $5,000 job, Max. 22 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,693 I was offered a $5,000 job once. 23 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,696 I said, "No way." 24 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,833 Come to think of it, that was Bill Maher. 25 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,102 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 26 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:14,775 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 27 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,448 Hey, look, 28 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:23,384 it's Saddington Bear. 29 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,321 Oof, unlike torrential rain, 30 00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:30,591 this jacket does not repel insults. 31 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,526 I have to go check the drains. 32 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,128 Oh, if you find my love life down there, 33 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,530 bring it back to me. 34 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,400 Han, the hurricane ain't coming, man. 35 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,870 My body always knows when a disaster is on its way. 36 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,273 It predicted the '97 El Niño 37 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,342 and my third wife, Diane. 38 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:50,478 That's true, and when he gets chest pains, 39 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:51,745 it means it'll be partly cloudy. 40 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:55,249 No, that's a heart attack. 41 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:58,352 Shortness of breath means partly cloudy. 42 00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:01,289 Pardon me if I don't just blindly trust Earl. 43 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,690 He voted for Richard Nixon, 44 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:05,293 this year. 45 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:07,895 Man, he's gonna get us out of Vietnam. 46 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,631 Well, I'm not taking any chances. 47 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,433 This may come as a shock to you, 48 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,768 but this diner is all I have! 49 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,637 Not true. 50 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,706 You also have tiny arms and legs. 51 00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:24,912 Oh, look, a Minion. 52 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,747 Hey, everybody! 53 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:33,321 Look, it's me, my Barbara, and my manny. 54 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,855 Yeah, Oleg and I 55 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,425 hired him to help with Baby Babs. 56 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,293 You know, in Poland, 57 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:42,263 a manny has to have his penis removed. 58 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,264 Yeah. 59 00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,400 But here, he gets to keep it! 60 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,936 I'm Max, this is my first time meeting a manny. 61 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,305 I mean, a lot of men watched me when I was a teenager, 62 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:54,275 but they paid me. 63 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,809 Shane! 64 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,312 I'm not just paying you to stand around. 65 00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:00,714 Well, at least burp one of us. 66 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,286 Isn't that the sweetest? 67 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,954 My wife, my baby, 68 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:10,291 and the man with a lady's job. 69 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,327 You're not nervous your manny is, you know, 70 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,429 extremely good-looking, 71 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,830 and you're, well... 72 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,233 Hung? 73 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:20,634 He's not good-looking. 74 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:23,371 His eyebrows don't even meet in the middle. 75 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,308 Sophie didn't want to hire a woman because 76 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,742 I walk around naked a lot, 77 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,578 and I'm, well... 78 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,913 The grossest? 79 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,749 A stink machine? 80 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,718 Girls, my wife is here. 81 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,753 Stop flirting with me. 82 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:42,990 Max, are you gonna go out with Shane? 83 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,593 Because he's staring at you. 84 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:49,363 Unless he's trying really hard to read that sign. 85 00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,599 Uh, I'm already in a relationship 86 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,467 with Randy, remember him? 87 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:56,337 'Bout yay tall, yay wide, yay long. 88 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,872 I know how "yay long." It's your screensaver. 89 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,609 But, uh, didn't you guys break up? 90 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:08,749 You are so naive, mi amigo. 91 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:12,019 This is all part of me and Randy's dance. 92 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:13,421 I say we should break up, 93 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,955 and he says it's definitely over, 94 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:18,892 so we're still very much together. 95 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,628 I know I've been out of the game awhile, 96 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:21,895 but that makes less sense 97 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,765 than dress Crocs. 98 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,534 I didn't ask your opinion when I bought them, 99 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,636 and I'm not asking for it now. 100 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,903 And this is the part of the dance 101 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,805 where he shows up and surprises me. 102 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,774 Damn it, I should have worn my Crocs. 103 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,510 Awful news! 104 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,912 I was unable to fix the drains! 105 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,381 Turns out, 106 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:43,451 we don't have any! 107 00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:44,818 We need to protect ourselves. 108 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,820 I'll be outside, filling sandbags. 109 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,022 Anyone who wants to help, follow me. 110 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,828 No one's behind me, are they? 111 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:58,298 Nope, just the shadow of a child holding a lantern. 112 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,335 Oh, you know what, Shane? 113 00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,571 I'm bored. 114 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,606 Now, come on, let's go back to the apartment. 115 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,542 And you can walk on my back while Barbara naps. 116 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:11,679 You know, like mannies do. 117 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,080 Bye. 118 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,416 Let's go! 119 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:21,088 Where are Jason and Winona? 120 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,823 They need to get here before the storm does 121 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,592 and my hair frizzes. 122 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:27,428 Well, Randy better get here before the storm too. 123 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,696 Ooh, this could be him! 124 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,431 Damn it. 125 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,501 The one time I don't want a text from Chili's. 126 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:34,835 Although they're practically giving away 127 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,871 these sizzling fajitas. 128 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,508 Jason and Winona! You made it. 129 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,109 I was worried something horrible happened, 130 00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,577 like you got caught in the storm 131 00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,979 or you got back together! 132 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,918 I think it has to be below zero 133 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,786 for hell to freeze over. 134 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,489 And we should know. We've been to the Arctic. 135 00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:57,791 He murdered a penguin. 136 00:05:57,825 --> 00:06:00,861 It was an accident! 137 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,896 If it was the penguin from Happy Feet, 138 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:05,165 you'll pay for that with your life, my friend. 139 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,734 That's Max. 140 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,636 She thinks cartoon characters are real. 141 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:09,903 I'm Caroline Channing. 142 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,505 And she thinks Matthew McConaughey 143 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,074 actually loves driving a Lincoln. 144 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,143 Why would he endorse that? He doesn't need the money. 145 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,011 End of story. 146 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,748 Ugh. This place is so cute. 147 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:21,949 Almost as cute 148 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,017 as the mud hut in Borneo where I realized 149 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,019 I didn't love you. 150 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,789 That was five years ago. 151 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,924 Okay, maybe save that for the toast? 152 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:33,060 Here's some of the themed drinks we're working on. 153 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,630 Almost Single Malt Scotch. 154 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,899 Resent-Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie Shooters. 155 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,501 Still debating the 156 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:43,637 "Tequila" Him Would Have Been Easier shots. 157 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,641 Oh, hate to break this meeting up, 158 00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:49,510 but I think my boyfriend's here. 159 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,783 Yeah, he doesn't like to bother me when I'm working. 160 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,552 Well, maybe I should get going before the weather gets too bad. 161 00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:01,522 I have a date I should have gone on five years ago. 162 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,957 Oh, I bet it's not even raining. 163 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:13,934 See? Just a little sprinkle. 164 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,538 You wear a bra? 165 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:20,874 The hurricane is headed right for Williamsburg. 166 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,943 Fedoras are blowing down the streets. 167 00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,078 Craft beers are spilling everywhere. 168 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:28,682 And indie bands are cancelling practice. 169 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,250 Sorry, girls, I guess Shakira was wrong. 170 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,219 My hips do lie. 171 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,688 This explains why Randy isn't here yet. 172 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,824 He's probably stuck in the storm. 173 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,592 Max, you're being delusional. 174 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:41,729 And I know that because I'm delusional. 175 00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,697 Han, I have to get home. 176 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,032 Sophie's alone with the manny 177 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,701 and she gets turned on by bad weather. 178 00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,036 It's true. 179 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,104 Last time it snowed, we made out a little bit. 180 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,241 Her favorite porno is The Perfect Storm, 181 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:58,712 even with Diane Lane's horrible Boston accent. 182 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,247 Oleg, no, it's too dangerous. 183 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,182 Yeah, it is. Han, go with him. 184 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:19,032 Even the wind pushes Oleg away. 185 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,075 That's my worst experience being blown 186 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,910 since I got caught in the hand dryer 187 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,612 in the ladies' washroom. 188 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:36,183 Oh, no. Everyone into the walk-in. 189 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,284 Ugh. 190 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,752 Well, I guess we're stuck here. 191 00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:40,554 Another hostage situation. 192 00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:41,755 Just like our honeymoon. 193 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:42,756 Oh, you loved Tehran. 194 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:47,628 So do you guys want to see a sample menu? 195 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,329 Max, light a match so they can see. 196 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,765 Give me a sec. I'm looting the register. 197 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:52,900 Sorry, it's a reflex. 198 00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,775 Should we eat all the food before it expires? 199 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,111 Two years ago. 200 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,680 This is the safest place in the building. 201 00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:09,082 This used to be my gift-wrapping suite. 202 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,318 I mean, man cave. 203 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,788 Am I sitting on a sack of potatoes? 204 00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:17,725 Nope. Just my prostate. 205 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,927 So sorry for the inconvenience. 206 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,829 Can I offer you some pinto beans? 207 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:22,963 A tub of slaw? 208 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,666 Mouse skeleton? 209 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,001 Well, it does remind me of that time in the rainforest 210 00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:29,737 when we stole that tribe's food 211 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,104 and they hung us up from our genitals. 212 00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:33,140 Oh, yeah. 213 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,942 Oh, you looked so cute that day. 214 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,978 All upside down and screaming. 215 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,079 Stop. 216 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,381 "Upside down and screaming"? 217 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,883 Oh, that's it. 218 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,618 I'm FaceTiming Sophie to make sure 219 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,987 her storm door is sealed shut. 220 00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:50,390 Sophie. 221 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,827 For once I'm grateful you have all your clothes on. 222 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,095 Although... 223 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,030 stay focused, Oleg. 224 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,966 Hey, Oleg. 225 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:02,870 Yeah, we're fine, I was just reading Barbara her horoscope. 226 00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:06,707 Now she's about to find out who her true friends are. 227 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,010 Yeah, oh, and tell the girls that we brought Chestnut in. 228 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,278 "We"? 229 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,652 What happened to his shirt? 230 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:19,787 Chestnut's? 231 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:22,155 Well, I took it off. He was warm. 232 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,124 No, Sophie, the manny. 233 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,293 His nipples are staring at me. 234 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,995 Well, what do you think happened to it? 235 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:31,164 He spilled his wine-- hey, Oleg, I gotta hang up. 236 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:34,902 We gotta close the windows. It's a perfect storm out there. 237 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,870 Yeah, I think I am gonna get up there 238 00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:39,773 on that horse bareback with you. 239 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,910 "Perfect storm"? 240 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:45,012 Oh, no, this is terrible. 241 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,180 There's wine. There's a storm. 242 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,448 There's a horse in the mix. 243 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,184 The sexual possibilities are dizzying! 244 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,085 Wine? 245 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,787 Ooh, that reminds me. 246 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,057 Oh, sorry. We're out of wine. 247 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,759 Who wants a Capri Sun and vodka? 248 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,227 Scratch that. 249 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,930 Who doesn't want a Capri Sun and vodka? 250 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,899 What am I gonna do? 251 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:09,803 I have travel Scattergories in my emergency backpack. 252 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,439 Perhaps we roll an F for fun? 253 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,342 Perhaps we roll you outside for fun? 254 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:20,113 Oof, so much for the community coming together during a crisis. 255 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,182 Oh, what's the bathroom policy around here? 256 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,951 Just go anywhere? 257 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,956 Oh, no, no, this is not good. 258 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:32,025 My diner is more screwed than Sophie right now. 259 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,063 Too soon? 260 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,232 Hold me! 261 00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,968 Just so you know, 262 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:44,337 that is a flashlight in my pocket. 263 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:54,948 Are we gonna talk about what happened? 264 00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,483 Max, please tell me they make 265 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,486 really, really small flashlights 266 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,721 that move on their own. 267 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,258 Do you want me to lie to you 268 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:09,029 or do you want me to tell you that was Han's penis? 269 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,365 Wow. 270 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:16,436 Caroline and Han are really getting at it over there. 271 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,438 This storm is turning people on 272 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,374 more than alcohol and low self-esteem. 273 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,011 Even Han got some action. 274 00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:26,546 I don't hold hands and tell. 275 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:31,051 Or maybe I do. This is kind of a first. 276 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,285 I could tell. 277 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:35,188 Your thumb was all over the place. 278 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,090 I hope that was your thumb. 279 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:40,127 That's it. 280 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,995 I can't risk Sophie being alone 281 00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:44,297 with the Elephant Manny any longer. 282 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:47,434 Even a 2 like him looks like a 5 in this bad weather, 283 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,270 and Sophie has a thing for 5s. 284 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,905 If I die, Max, 285 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:55,075 you know what strippers I want at my funeral. 286 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,445 Yep, same ones I want at mine. 287 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,881 I want Bagpipes at my funeral. 288 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:04,551 She'll be expecting your call. 289 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:07,354 The sexual tension is rising. 290 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:12,092 This is turning into a real "will we or won't we?" 291 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,428 We won't. 292 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,430 We can't! 293 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,901 You know what I've always wanted to do? 294 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,602 Have a "getting back together" party? 295 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,472 Same price, less Adele on the playlist. 296 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,907 No. 297 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,176 You know. We should... 298 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,944 Drive through Syria! 299 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,047 Syria? 300 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,583 Is that a new Middle Eastern fast-food place? 301 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,888 Baba ghano-thank-you. 302 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,624 Syria sounds beautiful. 303 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,860 Let us throw your going-away party. 304 00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,595 And birthdays coming up? Graduations? 305 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:52,065 Quinceañeras? Just 'cause? 306 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,633 Why almost die in Syria 307 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,936 when we could be out there right now 308 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,604 almost dying in a hurricane? 309 00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:02,642 Oh, there's the woman my family forced me to marry. 310 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,644 Every second we're in here is second we're not 311 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,247 risking getting electrocuted by downed power lines. 312 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,281 We'll see you guys later. 313 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,251 Wha-- we do funerals. 314 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,485 Wakes, shivas, too. 315 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,388 Tell your captors. 316 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,024 Unbelievable. 317 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,358 I'm so bad at relationships, 318 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:21,094 I can't even make a divorce work. 319 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,429 I'll give you some pointers. 320 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:28,268 First rule, have sex with her big-mouthed sister. 321 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,904 I'm gonna see if Randy posted anything on Snapchat 322 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,439 about his travels. 323 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,008 I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. 324 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,111 He is not in LA, enjoying the sunshine. 325 00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:40,647 Hey, I'm here in sunny LA, 326 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,649 just about to take my dog for a walk. 327 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,185 You know, people are saying we're starting to look alike. 328 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,419 Thoughts? 329 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,993 Because to tell you the truth, I don't really see it. 330 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,194 Although I have been 331 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,564 peeing on fire hydrants more than usual. 332 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,668 You know what? 333 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,270 I am calling him. 334 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,537 He wants me to. 335 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,007 You saw the look on his snout. 336 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,076 You're acting more mixed-up than me. 337 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:13,613 And yesterday I ordered a cheeseburger from an ATM. 338 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:18,051 And I gotta say, it wasn't bad. 339 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,487 He's not answering, and it's going straight to voicemail. 340 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,222 Maybe Snapchat got it wrong 341 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,223 and he's on a plane. 342 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,359 He probably blocked you. 343 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,128 Right, baby? 344 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,632 Give me your phone. 345 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,434 Hello? 346 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,470 It went through and he answered. 347 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:40,173 'Cause it wasn't my phone. He did block me. 348 00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,175 Max, I'm sorry. 349 00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,511 We're really broken up. 350 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,980 Don't feel too bad. 351 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:50,283 From what I saw, he had kind of a dog face. 352 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,519 Ooh-ooh. 353 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,054 My hips think that 354 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,488 the storm is over, y'all. 355 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,758 Why don't you go check for flooding, old man? 356 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,362 Just like you did for Noah. 357 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:06,066 Sorry, that's the cockiness of my new relationship talking. 358 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,600 We should all go. 359 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,470 None of us have anything left to live for anymore anyway. 360 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,639 Uh, excuse me, I have plenty-- 361 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,507 okay, you're right, let's go. 362 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,353 Yes! Yes, it's okay. 363 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,620 Wow. 364 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,489 I guess the hurricane looked us up on Yelp 365 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,225 and stayed the hell away. 366 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,793 It survived the storm! 367 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,528 My diner's alive. 368 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:39,499 Yeah, parts of it have chased me around the kitchen. 369 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,535 I love how you're funny. 370 00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,672 The storm is gone. My body got it right. 371 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,608 Now, if it could only pump blood on its own. 372 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:51,511 Great. 373 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:52,779 Oleg survived too. 374 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:56,183 This hurricane sucked. 375 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,384 I made it home, 376 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,719 but Sophie and the manny were gone. 377 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,289 And I could tell by the look in Chestnut's eyes 378 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:05,192 and the wine on his mane that they're not coming back. 379 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:11,364 Oh--Oleg, you're here! 380 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:16,803 Sophie, 381 00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,338 you're here. 382 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,141 Oh, I was so worried. What happened? 383 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,076 To my churro? 384 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,545 Well, yeah, it got wet. 385 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,180 Oh, Oleg, 386 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:30,150 I didn't want to be in the hurricane without you. 387 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,619 And I didn't want anyone to be in you 388 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:33,686 without me. 389 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,288 Oh. 390 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,091 Don't be silly. We're family now. 391 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:41,161 Plus, the storm got me all horned up. 392 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,829 Confession: 393 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,598 I'm not just wet from the storm. 394 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,300 Oh, my God, 395 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:50,603 does this guy always know what to say or what? 396 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,707 Oh, Oleg, let's go home. 397 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,776 I love happy endings. 398 00:17:56,809 --> 00:18:00,313 Oh, well, if Barbara's sleeping, 399 00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,382 I might be able to give you one on the way home. 400 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,188 Caroline, 401 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,623 we need to talk about what happened in there. 402 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,525 Okay, but do I have to be here? 403 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:16,329 Look, I've been thinking that sometimes 404 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:19,199 crazy weather makes you do crazy things. 405 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,900 Yeah, I just listened to Sophie and Oleg talk 406 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,203 for like an hour. 407 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:26,339 I--I guess what I'm trying to say is 408 00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:27,674 we're Dones-ville. 409 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:28,741 Han. 410 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:29,842 Shh. 411 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,514 No, no. 412 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:35,748 Don't beg. 413 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,884 This is hard enough as it is. 414 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,352 But... 415 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:41,188 keep that chin up. 416 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,624 You'll find someone. 417 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,893 I recommend the Internet. 418 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,295 Thanks, Han. 419 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,129 It was fun while it never started. 420 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:55,835 Max, I hate seeing you like this. 421 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,304 You know what? 422 00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,172 Maybe Randy only blocked you because-- 423 00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,241 Because he didn't want to ruin the surprise of him 424 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,342 coming here to see me? 425 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,379 All right. Yep. Sure. 426 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,315 I'm gonna check his Snapchat again. 427 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,517 Not now, Max. Let's go hug our dessert bar. 428 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,420 It was probably so scared. 429 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,855 Hey! I'm running 'cause I'm late. 430 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,558 Gotta get to New York-- 431 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,260 Great, his story cut off. 432 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,394 But you were right! 433 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:22,695 I was? 434 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,297 Ooh, it unfroze. 435 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:27,033 Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl. 436 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,539 Well, that's it. 437 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,940 He's not coming to New York. 438 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,675 I have to face reality. 439 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:39,178 He's bowling in LA with his buddy Phil. 440 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,618 Oh, my God! 441 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:46,953 Cray, right? 442 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:50,423 I didn't even know Randy liked bowling. 443 00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:51,858 No, Max, look! 444 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:57,464 Is that tree new or has it always been there? 445 00:19:57,497 --> 00:20:00,567 I know the condom stuck to it hasn't. 446 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,637 The diner is fine, but our beautiful dessert bar 447 00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:06,973 gets hit by the hurricane? 448 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,308 But... 449 00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,843 your hair looks good right now. 450 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,479 Just "good"? 451 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,515 I'm calling Han. 452 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,518 I weirdly feel like I need him now. 453 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,854 It's going straight to voicemail. 454 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,391 Han! I was just trying to call you. 455 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,559 Yeah, I blocked you. 456 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,896 I just can't go there right now. 457 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:34,734 Caroline, don't cry. 458 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,903 We have insurance. Right? 459 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,005 I don't listen to 100% of what you say. 460 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:41,741 We'll be fine. 461 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:44,544 I just think blocking a person is mean. 32153

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.