All language subtitles for 2 Broke Girls (2011) - S06E06 - And the Rom-Commie (1080p AMZN

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:07,075 Max, what is all this? 2 00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:09,743 I thought we were running fancy purchases past each other 3 00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:13,214 since you yelled at me for splurging on two-ply. 4 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:16,550 You might as well wipe with dollar bills, your royal heinie. 5 00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:19,120 This is for a big cake order I got 6 00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,588 from Over-Eaters Anonymous. 7 00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:23,091 And, like it's members, it's a big 'un. 8 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,526 I thought we didn't take special orders anymore 9 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:26,794 since we opened the dessert bar. 10 00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,530 You know, like how girls stop doing mouth stuff 11 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,799 after they get a ring. 12 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,702 Which is why I don't give girls rings. 13 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:37,671 They're having a group cheat day and I wanna help them. 14 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,373 It's my way of giving nothing. 15 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,109 Max, that's terrible. 16 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,477 We can't enable people that have a real problem. 17 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:44,712 They're paying us 1,000 bucks. 18 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,680 Like I said, the customer is always right. 19 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,417 You know, with that kind of money, 20 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,185 we could go from two-ply to wet wipes. 21 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,322 Pfft, slow your two-ply roll, money bags. 22 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,557 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 23 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:03,397 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 24 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:07,301 Ugh, there's no room on our side. 25 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:08,702 Han's side is empty though. 26 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,839 Just like his Little People, Big World viewing parties. 27 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:14,208 I went once. 28 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,709 Oh, Han left another note 29 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:18,379 telling us not to put our stuff on his stuff. 30 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,214 There's not enough alcohol in the world 31 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,183 to get my stuff on his stuff. 32 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,584 "Dear girls, how are you? 33 00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:26,354 Been unseasonably hot lately, hasn't it?" 34 00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:27,721 He really beats around the bush. 35 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,623 Again, not enough alcohol. 36 00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:30,858 "I'd really appreciate 37 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,760 if you kept your supplies on your--" 38 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,195 Wow, his notes are more boring 39 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,364 than your "remember when I had money" stories. 40 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,666 Come on, Max. We're slamming Han. 41 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,368 Let's stay focused. 42 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:41,835 Remember when I had money, though? 43 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:45,506 I'm crafting my response to Han right now. 44 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,640 I wanna keep it light. 45 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:48,442 Did I ever tell you 46 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:49,610 we actually had a money room 47 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,212 like in Richie Rich comics? 48 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,714 -Yep. -Hello, girls. 49 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,184 Read anything good lately? 50 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,619 Perhaps a note on stationary that says, 51 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,921 "From the desk of a jelly bean addict? 52 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,824 Han, if you have something to say, 53 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:06,927 look us in the kneecaps and say it. 54 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,764 I smell smoke, and where there's smoke, 55 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,401 there's usually something of mine burning. 56 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,169 Earl, watch the diner for me. 57 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,238 Sure thing. 58 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:19,240 Girls, watch the diner for me. 59 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:21,909 I gotta go to the bathroom again. 60 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:25,846 My prostate changes faster than the lineup of The View. 61 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,183 Caroline, watch the diner for me. 62 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,551 Max, watch the diner for me. 63 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,253 Jinx, you owe me a soda. 64 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,388 But not from here. 65 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,724 Hilar, right? 66 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,426 Not you. 67 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,828 Randy was giving me a Facetime motorboat. 68 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,497 Hey, Caroline. 69 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,766 Arr, it was a bit nippy in there. 70 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,702 Ahoy, Captain. 71 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,604 Oh, why am I playing along? 72 00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:53,274 Well, we should probably stop having phone sex 73 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,608 'cause I'm at Pinkberry 74 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,744 and I got a lot of decisions to make. 75 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,579 Well, call me back so your pinkberries 76 00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,847 don't become blueberries. 77 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:04,818 Girls, come on. This is a workplace. 78 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,588 Do you think I can use dish soap on these? 79 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,959 You should use gasoline on those. 80 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,927 So... 81 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,563 isn't it about time you and Randy 82 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,565 made your relationship official again? 83 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,633 You talk to him more than you talk to me, 84 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,469 which brings me to my second point: 85 00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:22,470 I'm hurt. 86 00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,473 We are not in a relationship. 87 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,741 Or a long-distance relationship. 88 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:30,311 We are just two people looking for good lighting 89 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,480 for our sex parts. 90 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,615 Excuse me. 91 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:36,750 I'm looking for Earl Washington. 92 00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,452 How do you know Earl's last name? 93 00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:41,422 Even his license just says Earl. 94 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:42,990 You're not the DirecTV lady, are you? 95 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,025 'Cause he told us he's not paying for Starz 96 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,495 till the channel actually gets some. 97 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:49,863 Earl Washington, about 6'2", 98 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:53,634 strong as an ox, big bushy afro? 99 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:57,738 Honey, we shrunk the Earl. 100 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:01,742 Um, when was the last time you saw this "Big Earl"? 101 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,678 1961. We were sweethearts. 102 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,914 But I went to Havana to visit my family 103 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,916 and to bring Earl back some cigars. 104 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,985 Then the revolution came and the rest is communism. 105 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:15,723 Earl's got people hunting him down across time and space, 106 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,725 and I can't get a second date? 107 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,394 Earl! 108 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:22,363 Oh, it's you. 109 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,698 I recognize that swagger. 110 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:27,335 She does? 111 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,337 Wow, Pilar. 112 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:30,804 You have my cigars? 113 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,443 He remembers her, but yesterday 114 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:38,045 he accidentally worked a full shift at Denny's. 115 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,982 I can't believe I'm here. 116 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:45,319 You know, I tried to float to you on a porta-potty in 1984, 117 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,520 but it did not work out. 118 00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:48,789 I haven't been this excited 119 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:52,426 since I found out I didn't work at Denny's. 120 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,329 You are still a fine piece of man, Earl. 121 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:58,366 And you are beau-ti-ful. 122 00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,867 Girl, let's get outta here. 123 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,970 How do you feel about exclusively being on top? 124 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,006 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 125 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,542 He's still got it. 126 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,378 Where is he hiding it? 127 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,713 That is so cute. 128 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,382 I hope she knows CPR. 129 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,987 Those over-eaters are really getting their money's worth. 130 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,090 Especially since you added the meat layer. 131 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,459 It's gonna compliment the potatoes. 132 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,497 Speaking of complimenting my potatoes, 133 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,864 listen to what Randy texted. 134 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,966 No, thanks. If I liked porn, 135 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,768 I wouldn't have thrown away Sophie and Oleg's 136 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,970 "We're Having a Baby" card. 137 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,473 No, this is disturbingly clean. 138 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:42,843 "Have an hour layover in Newark Airport tomorrow. 139 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,678 So close and yet so far." 140 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:45,813 What does that mean? 141 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,882 Does he wanna see my boobs or my junk? 142 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,651 Now he's speaking my language. 143 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,620 The language of romantic comedy. 144 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:53,954 He wants more. 145 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:56,023 My butt? 146 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:58,459 Max, he wants you to meet him at the airport. 147 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:01,829 Airports are the romantic climax to every great love story. 148 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:02,830 Casablanca, 149 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,698 Love Actually, 150 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,567 Snakes on a Plane. 151 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,603 Ah, now I get it. 152 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,104 So point to it on my body. 153 00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,710 Hey, girls. 154 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:19,480 I'm trying to make the baby laugh. 155 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:20,781 Here's one... 156 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,417 Two girls walk into a dessert bar 157 00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:24,618 and they never leave. 158 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:32,626 Ah, see? Nothing. 159 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,462 You girls think I'm funny. Right? 160 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:37,397 You married Oleg, so you have a sense of humor. 161 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,801 I don't get it. 162 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:44,171 I'm trying to make Barbara laugh, 163 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,508 but you know what? I'm like Leno at 10:00. 164 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,942 You know? I'm getting nothing. 165 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,045 See? Crickets. 166 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,648 Have you tried any got-your-nose material? 167 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,517 Always makes Caroline laugh. 168 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,686 Stop! 169 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,220 Give me back my nose! 170 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,992 You know what? That's really not funny. 171 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,228 You know what they say. 172 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,532 That babies that are this age are supposed to laugh, 173 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:12,933 and that gets me really worried. 174 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:16,870 'Cause what if Barbara has no idea what's funny? 175 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:20,574 Like a Netflix comedy. 176 00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,142 Narcos is pretty funny, 177 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,545 but I guess you had to be there. 178 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:28,015 Wait a minute. I got something. 179 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:32,586 Ah, she doesn't even like fart jokes. 180 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,924 Neither do we. 181 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:40,260 Speak for yourself. 182 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,230 All right. 183 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,965 Did you text Randy back? 184 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,967 I don't know what to say to him. 185 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,503 How does, "New phone, who dis?" sound? 186 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,006 If you were Sally, you would have never met Harry. 187 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,175 If he wants me to meet him at the airport, 188 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,910 he's gonna have to come out and ask me. 189 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,245 He wants you to meet him. 190 00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,614 He's just speaking in the language of romance. 191 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:01,882 Which you don't understand 192 00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:04,084 'cause it doesn't have any burps in it. 193 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,253 I know how to interpret these things. 194 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:09,690 Uh, sorry, but you are horrible at interpreting things. 195 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,258 You thought when I first said "hi" to you 196 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,926 it meant I wanted you to move in with me 197 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,862 for six years. 198 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,998 Well, sorry if you had me at hello. 199 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,605 There she is 18 hours later. 200 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,607 Mama's greatest accomplishment: 201 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:27,775 Maple vanilla rum cake 202 00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,309 with a raspberry cream cheese filling 203 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,778 and a white chocolate crumble. 204 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,646 Also, there's a ham in it. 205 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,281 Can you have a contact heart attack 206 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,683 from looking at something? 207 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,084 'Cause my left arm is tingly. 208 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,020 Let's load this monster in the back. 209 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,623 How many times have I is said that? 210 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,592 Ooh, can I get a hunk of that ham? 211 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:45,893 No! 212 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,896 Oh, there's no room on our side. 213 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,832 Oh, my God, Max, why is this so heavy? 214 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,602 That's gonna be the layer of hot dogs. 215 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,169 Let's just put it on Han's side. 216 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,338 Move his note. I'll burn it later. 217 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,141 Aw, he got this one notarized. 218 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,776 And he's a notary. 219 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:05,545 There's a lot of sides to that square. 220 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,782 So... 221 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,751 I've been thinking about your airport outfit. 222 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,320 You're not gonna like this, but I think it may be time 223 00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,055 for you got a third shirt. 224 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,590 You're not gonna like this. 225 00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:19,026 I think it's time for you to get a second friend. 226 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,328 You haven't seen Randy in six months. 227 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,697 I mean, you've seen parts of him on your phone, 228 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:24,932 but you haven't seen the whole. 229 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,867 Oh, I've seen the hole. 230 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,368 He fell getting out of the shower. 231 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,003 What is wrong with you? 232 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,338 I know you're crazy about him. 233 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:34,041 I am, but what if he doesn't want me to come? 234 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,810 What if I get there and I'm like, "Hey," 235 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:39,379 and he's like, "Uh, hey..." 236 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,848 I don't wanna be embarrassed. 237 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:44,284 Then don't say "hey" like that ever. 238 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,954 And since when do you care about being embarrassed? 239 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,822 Your raincoat is a trash bag. 240 00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:52,259 Ugh, it matches my duct tape shoes. 241 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,395 I am not going to the airport. 242 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,865 Uh, sure, Pilar. 243 00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,934 It's on like Donkey Kong. 244 00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:03,036 How's it going with Pilar? 245 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,038 You crazy kids still having fun? 246 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,974 She's wearing me out. 247 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,009 Well, at least you have somebody. 248 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:13,380 Whoa, simmer down, Lonely Island. 249 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:14,848 Earl, what's going on? 250 00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:17,050 She wants to see everything she's missed 251 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,919 in the last 50 years. 252 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,021 Now she wants to go to Disney World. 253 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,356 You know what, Earl? You need to breathe. 254 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,159 How about we go for one of those invigorating walks we take 255 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,395 whenever your leg blood isn't moving? 256 00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:29,897 Do you need your Walker, Earl? 257 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,899 Of course I do. 258 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,835 Thank you. 259 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,406 Just put it right over-- 260 00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,276 That admittedly gorgeous cake 261 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,879 is not the property of the Williamsburg Diner. 262 00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:48,048 I'm losing interest real fast here Han. 263 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,249 Where am I putting this box? 264 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,751 I'm moving the cake. 265 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:54,387 You play with the bull, you get the Han. 266 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,957 I guess CrossFit failed me again today. 267 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,391 You went once and you passed out. 268 00:10:58,425 --> 00:10:59,927 I didn't hydrate. 269 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,332 Oh, boy. 270 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:07,835 Oh, my God. 271 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,770 Is that a hot dog? 272 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:12,139 Wake up, Han. Wake up. 273 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,841 You're having a terrible dream 274 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:17,077 where you destroyed something very important to the girls 275 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,379 and they're going to kill you. 276 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,247 Yeah, we're still here. 277 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,415 You dropped the cake. This is happening. 278 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:25,285 What have I done? 279 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,857 Looks like someone got themselves in a little jam. 280 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,059 Mmm, raspberry. 281 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,861 Stop licking things. 282 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,463 We need to put this back together. 283 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,932 Yes, yes, this is working. 284 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,768 No one will be the wiser. 285 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:43,871 We'll just frost over the crime. 286 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,806 Why is there a ham? 287 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,374 This cake makes no sense! 288 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,177 Get up. 289 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,145 You're making a fool of yourself. 290 00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:53,380 And that's coming from a guy 291 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:56,216 who burnt his nuts on a hand dryer earlier. 292 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,953 Tell me what to do. 293 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,522 Relax. 294 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,892 This cake had no family, 295 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,961 no friends, no dental records. 296 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,196 I've done this before. 297 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,832 With other cakes, of course. 298 00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:15,302 I'm so scared. 299 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,374 Earl is really in a bad way over Pilar. 300 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,443 I've never seen him that confused. 301 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,246 Well, then you've never watched him button a shirt. 302 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,415 -Where's the cake? -The cake? 303 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,517 We put it right here. 304 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:33,787 It couldn't have grown little legs and walked away. 305 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,255 Little legs? 306 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,290 together: Han! 307 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,862 Oleg, have you seen our cake? 308 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,263 I see a lot of cakes. 309 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,999 This is New York City. Cakes up the wazoo. 310 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,035 Pancakes, baby cakes, patty cakes. 311 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,103 They should change the name to New Cake City. 312 00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,405 He knows something. 313 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,474 Not much, but something. 314 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,010 But that is a pretty great name for New York. 315 00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,280 Earl, have you seen a man-sized cake 316 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,883 being carried by a cake-sized man? 317 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,451 I have other stuff on my mind. 318 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,020 I gotta tell Pilar I don't wanna go to Disney World 319 00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:09,422 and Burning Man's off too. 320 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,323 Hello, girls. 321 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,292 I've been thinking of adding a chicken leg 322 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:15,028 to the shift meal. Thoughts? 323 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,596 Where'd you hide our cake? 324 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,531 With the rest of your body? 325 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,903 Who crapped in your coffee? 326 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,104 First I'm gonna say: 327 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,839 That's a strong yes on the chicken leg. 328 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:29,176 Now, where's my maple vanilla cake with hot dog filling? 329 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,311 We put it on your side of the shelf and now it's gone. 330 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,514 I have no idea what you're talking about. 331 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,517 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to cake a phone call. 332 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,087 I mean, make a phone cake. 333 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,155 Search him, Max. 334 00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:43,590 All the way down to his Underoos. 335 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,193 Check my Underoos. 336 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,594 There's something sweet in there, 337 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,897 but it's not cake. 338 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,498 You've got nothing on me. 339 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:54,034 Oleg, tell them I haven't seen their cake. 340 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,202 Right, bro? 341 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,204 Cake? What cake? I see a lot of cakes. 342 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,505 This is New York City. Cakes up the wazoo. 343 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,207 patty cakes, pancakes, baby cake. 344 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,942 -They should name the city, uh-- -New Cake City. 345 00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,076 Yeah, we got it. 346 00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:06,179 Maybe Han's telling the truth. 347 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:07,614 Do you think one of those over-eaters 348 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,917 could have snuck in here without us knowing? 349 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,384 You saw how cramped it is back there. 350 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:14,221 This morning I had to go in one boob at a time. 351 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,256 Where could it be? 352 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:21,028 Just 'cause your keys were in there one time. 353 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,465 Hey, everybody. 354 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,900 We're here. 355 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:29,536 Yeah, me and the ice queen. 356 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,205 You know, if she doesn't laugh soon, 357 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,341 people are gonna think she's German. 358 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:40,247 She's getting real monster truck rally 359 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,614 with that carriage. 360 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:44,151 Well, I guess I'm gonna have to make another cake. 361 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:47,120 I have 60 "just checking in" voicemails on my phone 362 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:48,388 asking about it. 363 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,422 Oh, 61. 364 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,391 But you have to go meet Randy at the airport. 365 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,293 I'm not going to the airport. 366 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:56,997 Besides, I have too many enemies at Hudson News. 367 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,232 Wow. 368 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,469 This is the second best hot dog cake I've ever had. 369 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,272 I don't want to jump to conclusions, 370 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,940 but I think that's our hot dog cake. 371 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,675 Sophie, where did you get that? 372 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,944 Oleg. 373 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,412 Can you believe he buried this? 374 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:15,248 Good thing that I can dig. 375 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,451 It was Han. If it makes you feel any better, 376 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,687 he cried as we shoveled it into a bucket. 377 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,022 Han! 378 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,090 Get out here! 379 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,657 We know you killed our cake. 380 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,593 You sold me out? 381 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:30,097 I want my 48.50 back, you stool pigeon. 382 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,464 I can't bury a cake 383 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,666 and not bring some home for my wife. 384 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,003 You heard my vows. 385 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,570 This is your fault 386 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,107 for not paying attention to my notes. 387 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,441 Prepare to meet your maker, Han. 388 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,243 Which I'm assuming is Mattel. 389 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,112 Please don't kill me. 390 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,680 I have so much... a lot... 391 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,082 well, some things to live for. 392 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,187 Did you hear that? 393 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:56,123 Ah, the girls scared Han, 394 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,291 and it made Barbara laugh. 395 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:01,628 Ah, I guess she likes to hear other babies in danger. 396 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,397 That's my girl. 397 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,334 Hi, Earl. 398 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:10,370 I am excited to fly to Florida instead of floating there 399 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,406 on the door of a '57 Chevy. 400 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,109 Earl, is there anything you wanna tell Pilar 401 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,011 about your trip to Disney World? 402 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:20,580 Yeah, I, uh... 403 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:23,350 Got the park hopper. 404 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:26,053 It's two parks for the price of three. 405 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,520 Earl? 406 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,489 Oh, hell. 407 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,525 Uh, Pilar... 408 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,361 I don't wanna got Disney World. 409 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,096 I didn't even like The Lion King. 410 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,465 Too much Africa stuff. 411 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,699 I honestly don't know how to process 412 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,069 somebody not liking The Lion King. 413 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,771 Look, Pilar, I've drank it all, 414 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,440 I've smoked it all, I've done it all. 415 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,343 You are just starting out on your ride. 416 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,079 I don't wanna slow you down. 417 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,347 I see. 418 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,549 This is why I'm not going to the airport. 419 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:59,186 She's probably so embarrassed right now. 420 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,653 You'd think I'd be embarrassed 421 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,256 because I came all this way here for you, 422 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,058 but I don't regret it. 423 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,460 Uh, excuse me? 424 00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:10,397 Can I get some mustard for this cake? 425 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,599 Earl, if I didn't come, 426 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,268 I'd always have wondered what could have been. 427 00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,504 I am glad you came. 428 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,207 Showed me my heart can take a lot. 429 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,675 Whoever had this one before me 430 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,311 must have been a jogger. 431 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,480 It was great seeing you, Earl. 432 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,751 Now, I'm gonna go get my Goofy on. 433 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,420 Uh, Pilar, 434 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,488 can I catch a ride with you to the airport? 435 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,723 I gotta meet a guy. 436 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,626 Yeah, I guess I gotta meet a guy too. 437 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,694 Caroline... 438 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,396 do you wanna come? 439 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,299 I thought you'd never ask. 440 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,834 So, should we share a cab? 441 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,570 You know, in Cuba, I shared an apartment with a horse. 442 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,473 Well, that's just weird. 443 00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:55,608 Bye, Earl. 444 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,544 Aw, he's asleep. 445 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,483 Yep, he's asleep. 446 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,190 Hurry up. Now we're gonna be late. 447 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,359 Ugh, there were plenty of people who could have helped that guy 448 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,860 back into his wheelchair. 449 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:17,330 All right, Randy's last flight landed at terminal four, 450 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,865 and his next flight is out of terminal six. 451 00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,467 He should be here any second. 452 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,768 You look beautiful. 453 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,203 You sure? 454 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,338 Do I have anything in my teeth? 455 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:28,375 Just the candy corn you use as a molar. 456 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,811 There he is! 457 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,413 Randy! 458 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,417 Sorry, I'm not sure I'll ever get to have 459 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,486 my own airport moment. 460 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,521 Caroline, what're you doing here? 461 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:44,757 Max! 462 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:49,396 Sir, I'm gonna need you to look deep into my eyes 463 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:50,663 while I frisk you. 464 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:55,435 And I'm gonna need you to take off that shirt. 465 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,438 This actually kind of happens to me a lot. 466 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,773 Even in libraries. 467 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,913 Should I take my shirt off too? 468 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:10,650 No, you're in an airport, not a McDonald's. 469 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,419 Max, I-- 470 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,421 I didn't think you were actually coming to see me. 471 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:17,257 Well, 'cause you didn't actually ask. 472 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,192 You look great. 473 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:21,294 Easy on the nipples there, Sheryl. 474 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:24,931 All right, you're good. 475 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,567 No need to put your shirt back on, though. 476 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,443 You're good. 477 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,782 Hey. 478 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,351 Hey. 479 00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:46,819 I'm really happy you came. 480 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,355 You are? 481 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:49,856 Then why didn't you just ask me? 482 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,293 I guess I was worried you'd say no, 483 00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,627 and I'd be embarrassed. 484 00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,363 I was worried you didn't want me to come 485 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,565 and then I'd be embarrassed. 486 00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:01,734 Classic misunderstanding. 487 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:04,237 Look, I-I know we're supposed to get attached, but... 488 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:05,372 Say it. 489 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,975 I want something more. 490 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,343 I want a relationship. 491 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,479 Say it back. 492 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,549 I wouldn't hate that. 493 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,751 Close enough. 494 00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:21,821 So we're doing this? 495 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,657 Because if not, I gotta get back to Sheryl. 496 00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:27,760 She still has my shoes. 497 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:30,463 Uh, yeah, I think we have to. 498 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,665 I mean, this is all Caroline has. 499 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:40,507 Oh, it's so beautiful. 500 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,346 Oh, come on, people. 501 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,247 You heard her. This is all I have. 35161

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