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1
00:00:03,433 --> 00:00:05,836
That spa weekend was amazing.
2
00:00:05,837 --> 00:00:07,270
Getting massages,
3
00:00:07,271 --> 00:00:10,307
eating those delicious
sundaes from room service.
4
00:00:10,308 --> 00:00:12,242
Oh, and that half a
lobster those people left
5
00:00:12,243 --> 00:00:14,177
on the tray outside their door.
6
00:00:14,178 --> 00:00:15,545
Oh.
7
00:00:15,546 --> 00:00:18,348
It was like being in heaven with a goat.
8
00:00:18,349 --> 00:00:20,550
Hey, Felix.
9
00:00:20,551 --> 00:00:22,519
How was your weekend
at French pastry school?
10
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,755
It was stupéfiant.
11
00:00:24,756 --> 00:00:26,789
I knew it would be stupid.
12
00:00:28,792 --> 00:00:29,993
What is that smell?
13
00:00:29,994 --> 00:00:32,028
- Birds!
- Birds!
14
00:00:32,029 --> 00:00:35,298
Oscar, Is that the trash I asked
you to take out before we left?
15
00:00:35,299 --> 00:00:37,501
Maybe, or maybe it's a
different bag of trash
16
00:00:37,502 --> 00:00:39,001
that the pigeons dragged in!
17
00:00:39,970 --> 00:00:41,772
You also left the balcony door open!
18
00:00:41,773 --> 00:00:43,440
Or maybe the pigeons...
19
00:00:43,441 --> 00:00:45,024
- Stop blaming the pigeons!
- All right.
20
00:00:45,025 --> 00:00:47,010
Oscar, I asked you to do one thing.
21
00:00:47,011 --> 00:00:48,645
How did you let this happen?
22
00:00:48,646 --> 00:00:50,547
I'm off to French pastry school.
23
00:00:50,548 --> 00:00:52,582
It's going to be stupid.
24
00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:55,952
Don't forget to take the
trash to the garbage chute.
25
00:00:55,953 --> 00:00:58,121
I got it, I got it.
26
00:00:58,122 --> 00:01:00,157
Bonne weekend.
27
00:01:00,158 --> 00:01:01,891
That's the plan.
28
00:01:04,361 --> 00:01:06,329
Oh, my God.
29
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:08,598
That cloud looks just like a wiener.
30
00:01:08,599 --> 00:01:11,901
Oh, I got to get a picture of this.
31
00:01:22,145 --> 00:01:24,347
Oh, wait.
32
00:01:24,348 --> 00:01:26,171
There was something I
had to do before I left.
33
00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:27,250
Oh, right.
34
00:01:27,251 --> 00:01:30,219
Send Teddy a photo of that penis cloud.
35
00:01:33,390 --> 00:01:36,827
It really does.
36
00:01:36,828 --> 00:01:38,161
I don't believe you.
37
00:01:38,162 --> 00:01:40,397
Well, that's why I have
proof. I took a picture.
38
00:01:40,398 --> 00:01:41,998
Look. See? It has two giant...
39
00:01:41,999 --> 00:01:44,566
I'm not interested in
your cloud genitalia.
40
00:01:45,669 --> 00:01:47,671
I am interested in you
taking responsibility
41
00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:49,105
for your actions.
42
00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:50,607
What's the big deal?
43
00:01:50,608 --> 00:01:52,676
Pigeons are gone. Trash is gone.
44
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:54,643
Everything's clean. It's over.
45
00:01:58,748 --> 00:02:01,173
Not helping my argument, big guy.
46
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:05,354
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
47
00:02:05,356 --> 00:02:08,158
I asked him to do one thing.
48
00:02:08,159 --> 00:02:10,160
Why do I always expect him to grow up?
49
00:02:10,161 --> 00:02:12,689
- You're an optimist.
- You're dumb.
50
00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:14,754
And it's not just me. Thanks
to Oscar's unique blend
51
00:02:14,755 --> 00:02:15,899
of sounds and smells,
52
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:17,968
our upstairs neighbor
Mr. Novak, just moved out.
53
00:02:17,969 --> 00:02:20,337
It's not like Mr. Novak was a
sound and smell party himself.
54
00:02:20,338 --> 00:02:21,805
Mm-mm.
55
00:02:21,806 --> 00:02:24,774
I love Oscar, but living
with him is impossible.
56
00:02:24,775 --> 00:02:28,044
You know, I love Felix, but
living with him is impossible.
57
00:02:28,045 --> 00:02:30,480
I'm sorry, sweetie.
58
00:02:30,481 --> 00:02:32,582
Yeah. It's always, "Feet
off the couch, Oscar.
59
00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:34,317
"Feet off the table, Oscar.
60
00:02:34,318 --> 00:02:37,019
Feet out of the refrigerator, Oscar."
61
00:02:37,854 --> 00:02:39,054
They get really hot.
62
00:02:40,557 --> 00:02:43,860
Well, you could move in here.
63
00:02:43,861 --> 00:02:45,595
Did you just ask me to move in with you?
64
00:02:45,596 --> 00:02:48,164
Tell me what you think, and
I'll tell you if I asked you.
65
00:02:48,165 --> 00:02:50,033
Well, we did just spend
five days together,
66
00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,368
and it was pretty perfect.
67
00:02:51,369 --> 00:02:53,036
We even shared a bathroom.
68
00:02:53,037 --> 00:02:55,005
And that little foot washer.
69
00:02:55,006 --> 00:02:56,705
That was a bidet.
70
00:02:58,008 --> 00:02:59,242
But yes.
71
00:02:59,243 --> 00:03:01,011
The trip was great. We're great.
72
00:03:01,012 --> 00:03:03,580
Why wouldn't we move in together?
73
00:03:03,581 --> 00:03:05,181
And Evan loves you. It'd be good for him
74
00:03:05,182 --> 00:03:06,725
to have a male influence in the house.
75
00:03:06,726 --> 00:03:10,921
Yeah, but what would Felix
do for a male influence?
76
00:03:10,922 --> 00:03:12,689
He's a grown man. I think he'll be okay.
77
00:03:12,690 --> 00:03:13,924
I don't know.
78
00:03:13,925 --> 00:03:17,827
I'm kind of the glue that
holds that guy together.
79
00:03:17,828 --> 00:03:19,796
I'm gonna have to let him down gently.
80
00:03:19,797 --> 00:03:22,232
What emoji would you use?
81
00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:25,969
Is there one that means
"I'm going to have a mature,
82
00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:28,605
face-to-face conversation
with my friend"?
83
00:03:28,606 --> 00:03:31,274
No, but there is a cat with heart eyes.
84
00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:33,576
Look at that.
85
00:03:33,577 --> 00:03:37,346
That-that cat is loving something.
86
00:03:38,548 --> 00:03:39,783
Aha.
87
00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:45,254
You are a noble reminder
of a disgusting man.
88
00:03:46,089 --> 00:03:47,457
Hey, uh, Felix.
89
00:03:49,126 --> 00:03:51,261
I kind of need to talk to you.
90
00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:52,862
Why don't you have a seat?
91
00:03:52,863 --> 00:03:54,166
The last time you asked me that,
92
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,233
I was the victim of
a whoopee cushioning.
93
00:03:57,234 --> 00:03:59,035
It's, uh, Charlotte.
94
00:03:59,036 --> 00:04:00,737
She's all over me to move in with her.
95
00:04:00,738 --> 00:04:02,472
She is?! Uh, I mean,
96
00:04:02,473 --> 00:04:04,574
- she is?
- Yeah.
97
00:04:04,575 --> 00:04:06,710
I mean, of course I said, "No way, Jose.
98
00:04:06,711 --> 00:04:08,645
- I'm not leaving my buddy Felix."
- Oh.
99
00:04:08,646 --> 00:04:10,747
I would be devastated.
100
00:04:10,748 --> 00:04:12,782
I mean, I-I don't want
to stand in the way
101
00:04:12,783 --> 00:04:14,684
of your budding
relationship with Charlotte.
102
00:04:14,685 --> 00:04:16,653
So you'd be okay with it?
103
00:04:16,654 --> 00:04:19,055
Uh, other than the
aforementioned devastation,
104
00:04:19,056 --> 00:04:20,422
Yes, I mean...
105
00:04:21,624 --> 00:04:22,959
You're a great couple.
106
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,128
It's wonderful what her
yin does for your yang.
107
00:04:25,129 --> 00:04:26,795
Hmm.
108
00:04:28,031 --> 00:04:30,899
It's pronounced "Wang," buddy.
109
00:04:32,822 --> 00:04:34,342
I mean, I'd still be in here for work,
110
00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:36,047
so we'd get to see
each other all the time.
111
00:04:36,048 --> 00:04:38,208
In a way, it would be
like you never moved out.
112
00:04:38,209 --> 00:04:40,944
But you will, to be clear.
113
00:04:40,945 --> 00:04:42,445
Yeah. We'll get to hang
out without the tension
114
00:04:42,446 --> 00:04:43,789
of being having to live together.
115
00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:45,315
Not that there was any tension.
116
00:04:45,316 --> 00:04:48,651
No...
117
00:04:48,652 --> 00:04:51,721
No. We may even become better friends.
118
00:04:51,722 --> 00:04:53,823
I mean A... we couldn't
be better friends.
119
00:04:53,824 --> 00:04:56,526
And B... maybe we could.
120
00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:59,896
You moving out could be
the best thing for us,
121
00:04:59,897 --> 00:05:01,698
our friendship, our future.
122
00:05:01,699 --> 00:05:02,532
Put 'er there!
123
00:05:02,533 --> 00:05:03,767
I think actually this might
124
00:05:03,768 --> 00:05:04,768
call for a hug.
125
00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:05,949
I think you might be right.
126
00:05:07,137 --> 00:05:08,204
Ah.
127
00:05:08,205 --> 00:05:10,240
- This is gonna be tough.
- So tough.
128
00:05:20,365 --> 00:05:22,833
Well, Terrance, I'm meeting
with a few other applicants,
129
00:05:22,834 --> 00:05:25,369
but you made a great first impression.
130
00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:26,713
May I offer you an hors d'oeuvre?
131
00:05:26,714 --> 00:05:28,672
- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, whoops.
132
00:05:28,673 --> 00:05:30,741
Five second rule, right?
133
00:05:30,742 --> 00:05:33,110
Yeah, it's still good, right?
134
00:05:33,111 --> 00:05:34,645
Wrong!
135
00:05:34,646 --> 00:05:37,446
There is no five second
rule. Good day, sir.
136
00:05:43,553 --> 00:05:45,055
Another dud, huh?
137
00:05:45,056 --> 00:05:46,799
Yes. In a city of
millions, I don't know why
138
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,458
I can't find one decent applicant.
139
00:05:48,459 --> 00:05:50,360
Well, maybe it's the personality test
140
00:05:50,361 --> 00:05:52,665
followed by the interview,
followed by the apartment tour,
141
00:05:52,666 --> 00:05:54,965
which is really just a series
of undercover challenges.
142
00:05:54,966 --> 00:05:57,867
Well, I'm just trying
to weed out the "Oscars."
143
00:05:58,869 --> 00:06:00,737
- No offense.
- Oh, none taken.
144
00:06:00,738 --> 00:06:04,341
I know it's just a figure of speech.
145
00:06:04,342 --> 00:06:06,845
Hey, Oscar, I'm getting hungry
for my "helping you move" lunch.
146
00:06:06,846 --> 00:06:08,312
Oh, okay. Felix, you want to come?
147
00:06:08,313 --> 00:06:10,296
Sorry, I can't; I'm waiting
for my next applicant.
148
00:06:10,297 --> 00:06:11,815
His name is Neil.
149
00:06:11,816 --> 00:06:14,718
It says here he is an efficiency expert.
150
00:06:19,389 --> 00:06:21,557
That must be him.
151
00:06:24,461 --> 00:06:26,330
Felix Unger?
152
00:06:26,331 --> 00:06:28,899
Neil Armstrong.
153
00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:30,534
I'm sorry.
154
00:06:30,535 --> 00:06:33,337
Your name is Neil Armstrong?
155
00:06:33,338 --> 00:06:35,505
Let me give you my standard reply:
156
00:06:35,506 --> 00:06:38,041
No, not that Neil Armstrong.
157
00:06:38,042 --> 00:06:40,677
I've never been on the moon,
but I'm always on the ball.
158
00:06:40,678 --> 00:06:42,212
So you were...
159
00:06:42,213 --> 00:06:43,780
No, I was not named after him.
160
00:06:43,781 --> 00:06:44,915
- So it's...
- Yes.
161
00:06:44,916 --> 00:06:47,684
- Pure coincidence.
- Wow. He really is on the ball.
162
00:06:47,685 --> 00:06:49,586
I already said that.
163
00:06:52,556 --> 00:06:55,091
Well, you're a lot of fun.
164
00:06:58,829 --> 00:07:00,497
That's the old roommate?
165
00:07:00,498 --> 00:07:02,032
What a mess.
166
00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:04,601
- I like you already, Neil Armstrong.
- Hmm.
167
00:07:04,602 --> 00:07:08,538
Great ergonomics. Exceptional flow.
168
00:07:08,539 --> 00:07:10,574
I assume you start dusting
169
00:07:10,575 --> 00:07:11,875
from that corner
170
00:07:11,876 --> 00:07:15,812
and work your way clockwise.
171
00:07:15,813 --> 00:07:17,814
Actually, I start high and I work low.
172
00:07:17,815 --> 00:07:20,350
Hmm. The Pendrake Method.
173
00:07:20,351 --> 00:07:22,085
I didn't know anybody used that anymore.
174
00:07:22,086 --> 00:07:24,988
I suppose you are
saving more arm strokes.
175
00:07:24,989 --> 00:07:26,256
- That's the idea.
- Oh.
176
00:07:26,257 --> 00:07:29,760
But with the sunlight
at your back you can see
177
00:07:29,761 --> 00:07:31,561
twice the dust, saving...
178
00:07:31,562 --> 00:07:36,133
- More strokes.
- ...more strokes.
179
00:07:36,134 --> 00:07:39,536
May I offer you a snack?
180
00:07:39,537 --> 00:07:40,971
- Oh.
- Oh, whoops.
181
00:07:40,972 --> 00:07:42,773
Five second rule.
182
00:07:42,774 --> 00:07:45,675
We both know there is no such thing.
183
00:07:45,676 --> 00:07:48,544
When can you move in?
184
00:07:49,479 --> 00:07:51,314
Sorry, guys. I forgot my wallet.
185
00:07:51,315 --> 00:07:53,116
Ah, floor snacks.
186
00:07:53,117 --> 00:07:55,417
You guys really missed out.
187
00:08:00,490 --> 00:08:01,658
Hey, you're home.
188
00:08:01,659 --> 00:08:03,693
I've never been so happy to see you.
189
00:08:03,694 --> 00:08:05,228
- Aw.
- Yeah.
190
00:08:05,229 --> 00:08:07,297
I thought I was going
to starve to death.
191
00:08:07,298 --> 00:08:11,101
Oh. I texted you there's
chicken in the fridge.
192
00:08:11,102 --> 00:08:13,070
Yeah, but that was raw.
193
00:08:13,071 --> 00:08:15,605
I assumed you'd cook it.
194
00:08:15,606 --> 00:08:16,973
Felix never let me do that.
195
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:18,341
Actually, I was banned
196
00:08:18,342 --> 00:08:21,078
from all fire-based appliances.
197
00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:24,014
Also knives, graters, juicers, choppers.
198
00:08:24,015 --> 00:08:25,515
I'll send you the "no-no" list.
199
00:08:25,516 --> 00:08:28,485
You're kidding.
200
00:08:28,486 --> 00:08:31,221
No. I haven't cooked in three years.
201
00:08:31,222 --> 00:08:33,223
Am I pronouncing that right?
202
00:08:33,224 --> 00:08:34,858
"Cooked"?
203
00:08:34,859 --> 00:08:38,161
Well, not only will I let you cook,
204
00:08:38,162 --> 00:08:40,163
I'll encourage it. I
think it's important
205
00:08:40,164 --> 00:08:42,100
for our relationship that
we share the housework.
206
00:08:42,101 --> 00:08:43,033
Absolutely.
207
00:08:43,034 --> 00:08:44,034
We're a team.
208
00:08:44,035 --> 00:08:46,036
For example,
209
00:08:46,037 --> 00:08:47,904
have you noticed our laundry basket
210
00:08:47,905 --> 00:08:49,439
is getting full?
211
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,141
I have noticed that.
212
00:08:51,142 --> 00:08:54,510
And tomorrow I'm gonna go
buy a bigger laundry basket.
213
00:08:55,378 --> 00:08:58,682
Or you could just do the laundry.
214
00:08:58,683 --> 00:09:01,451
Yeah. Okay.
215
00:09:01,452 --> 00:09:04,387
I'll go get the clothes and
go down to the laundry room.
216
00:09:04,388 --> 00:09:06,056
Follow-up question.
217
00:09:06,057 --> 00:09:06,990
It's in the basement.
218
00:09:06,991 --> 00:09:09,191
All right.
219
00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:21,905
Good morning.
220
00:09:21,906 --> 00:09:24,207
I hope I didn't wake you
before you intended to awaken.
221
00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:25,542
Oh.
222
00:09:25,543 --> 00:09:27,410
No. I'm always up at this hour.
223
00:09:27,411 --> 00:09:29,646
Internal clock, no
alarm needed, whatever.
224
00:09:29,647 --> 00:09:32,883
Is this room cleaner
than it was yesterday?
225
00:09:32,884 --> 00:09:34,351
Oh, quite a bit so.
226
00:09:34,352 --> 00:09:36,987
I do my best tidying
up just after sunrise.
227
00:09:36,988 --> 00:09:38,890
And did you vacuum?
Because these are not
228
00:09:38,891 --> 00:09:40,357
my usual north-south lines.
229
00:09:40,358 --> 00:09:43,460
Oh, I didn't vacuum, Vicki did.
230
00:09:43,461 --> 00:09:44,661
Vicki, come.
231
00:09:51,101 --> 00:09:54,638
Is that the VacoVic 52-G?
232
00:09:54,639 --> 00:09:56,503
I thought that didn't
come out until next year.
233
00:09:56,504 --> 00:09:57,374
She doesn't,
234
00:09:57,375 --> 00:09:59,075
at least not to the general public.
235
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:01,678
I actually consulted on
the design team, so...
236
00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:03,747
State of the art filtration,
237
00:10:03,748 --> 00:10:06,349
whisper quiet, fully integrated AI.
238
00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,918
It's, um...
239
00:10:07,919 --> 00:10:10,620
It's beautiful.
240
00:10:10,621 --> 00:10:11,721
Thank you.
241
00:10:11,722 --> 00:10:13,056
Aw.
242
00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:16,593
Well, I actually like to
vacuum, so I can still do it.
243
00:10:16,594 --> 00:10:19,162
Oh, don't make Vicki laugh.
244
00:10:19,163 --> 00:10:21,196
She can, you know.
245
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:27,637
Well, since you did all of the cleaning,
246
00:10:27,638 --> 00:10:29,479
the least I could do is
make us breakfast, hmm?
247
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,880
Oh, actually, there's no need.
248
00:10:33,978 --> 00:10:37,614
I already made eggs
Benedict and cucumber scones.
249
00:10:37,615 --> 00:10:39,883
Where are the-the pots
and the pans and the...?
250
00:10:39,884 --> 00:10:41,885
- Oh, I clean as I cook.
- Oh.
251
00:10:41,886 --> 00:10:43,386
Now, please sit.
252
00:10:43,387 --> 00:10:45,889
- Well, at least let me help you...
- No, I'll get it. Sit.
253
00:10:45,890 --> 00:10:47,190
Well, we still need the, uh...
254
00:10:47,191 --> 00:10:48,425
- Truffle salt?
- Yeah.
255
00:10:48,426 --> 00:10:49,826
I'll get it. Sit.
256
00:10:49,827 --> 00:10:50,994
Oh.
257
00:10:50,995 --> 00:10:54,331
Okay.
258
00:10:54,332 --> 00:10:57,534
Since you have done... everything,
259
00:10:57,535 --> 00:10:59,636
I guess I will just, uh...
260
00:10:59,637 --> 00:11:02,639
sit.
261
00:11:06,943 --> 00:11:08,945
What are you looking at?
262
00:11:08,946 --> 00:11:12,081
Obstacle.
263
00:11:22,359 --> 00:11:24,961
Oh, my God.
264
00:11:24,962 --> 00:11:26,529
Did somebody break in and cater?
265
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:29,065
Oh, that?
266
00:11:29,066 --> 00:11:30,467
That's just dinner.
267
00:11:30,468 --> 00:11:32,369
That I made...
268
00:11:32,370 --> 00:11:34,370
with a stove!
269
00:11:35,572 --> 00:11:37,540
I figured since Evan is at his dad's,
270
00:11:37,541 --> 00:11:39,376
maybe we could have a romantic night.
271
00:11:39,377 --> 00:11:41,077
Well, we're off to a great start.
272
00:11:41,078 --> 00:11:42,779
I'm loving those napkins.
273
00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:44,414
I didn't think you knew about napkins.
274
00:11:44,415 --> 00:11:46,883
Well, that was a happy accident.
275
00:11:46,884 --> 00:11:49,319
I found them when I was looking
for the fire extinguisher.
276
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,187
- Fire extinguisher?
- Yeah.
277
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,290
That was an unhappy accident.
278
00:11:53,291 --> 00:11:55,624
Oh, no, no, don't go in the kitchen!
279
00:11:57,193 --> 00:11:59,195
Oscar, what happened to my kitchen?
280
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:01,665
Uh-uh. Our kitchen.
281
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,068
Our kitchen is a wreck.
282
00:12:05,069 --> 00:12:07,671
How did you get marinara
sauce on the ceiling?
283
00:12:07,672 --> 00:12:10,907
Oh, yeah, that. Well, the
first meal had an Italian theme.
284
00:12:10,908 --> 00:12:12,975
Big-a mistake-a.
285
00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:17,847
So then I did a fish fry
which turned into a fish fire.
286
00:12:17,848 --> 00:12:19,683
Why is the popcorn maker out?
287
00:12:19,684 --> 00:12:21,885
I had to watch a movie
while the smoke cleared.
288
00:12:21,886 --> 00:12:24,821
Oh, my God, Oscar.
289
00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:27,223
Okay, I know you mean
well, but in the last week,
290
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:30,093
you have destroyed my
kitchen, you shrunk my clothes,
291
00:12:30,094 --> 00:12:31,695
and you stained my rug.
292
00:12:31,696 --> 00:12:34,997
I think you are minimizing
the napkin triumph.
293
00:12:36,132 --> 00:12:37,867
I'll go clean the kitchen.
294
00:12:37,868 --> 00:12:40,012
No, no, no, no, I'll do it.
You'll just make it worse.
295
00:12:40,013 --> 00:12:42,193
- What? No. I can do it.
- No, I can handle it, Evan.
296
00:12:44,741 --> 00:12:47,143
Well, that was... shriveling.
297
00:12:48,546 --> 00:12:50,547
I'm sorry. Just cleaning up your messes
298
00:12:50,548 --> 00:12:52,182
makes me feel like your mom.
299
00:12:52,183 --> 00:12:53,750
Ugh. That's not good.
300
00:12:53,751 --> 00:12:55,952
What is happening to us?
301
00:12:55,953 --> 00:12:58,554
I know. We had so my fun
while we were on vacation.
302
00:12:58,555 --> 00:12:59,389
Yeah.
303
00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:01,725
'Cause all we had to do was have fun.
304
00:13:01,726 --> 00:13:04,894
We had maids and waiters
to take care of us.
305
00:13:04,895 --> 00:13:06,830
Did we ruin something that was working
306
00:13:06,831 --> 00:13:08,465
by moving in together too soon?
307
00:13:08,466 --> 00:13:10,866
Maybe.
308
00:13:11,835 --> 00:13:13,503
I mean, when we weren't living together,
309
00:13:13,504 --> 00:13:17,006
we were just enjoying the
fun parts of a relationship.
310
00:13:17,007 --> 00:13:20,610
Maybe we should... go back to that.
311
00:13:20,611 --> 00:13:22,746
What are you saying?
312
00:13:22,747 --> 00:13:26,015
I'm saying we stay
together, but I move out?
313
00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:28,584
I like the sound of that.
314
00:13:29,586 --> 00:13:31,821
Say it again.
315
00:13:31,822 --> 00:13:33,490
I'm moving out.
316
00:13:33,491 --> 00:13:35,492
Oh.
317
00:13:35,493 --> 00:13:36,826
Keep going.
318
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:39,429
I'm not going to live here anymore.
319
00:13:39,430 --> 00:13:40,764
That's it.
320
00:13:40,765 --> 00:13:42,365
Felix, here I come.
321
00:13:42,366 --> 00:13:44,700
- No. No.
- Yeah, I knew the minute I said that.
322
00:13:52,084 --> 00:13:53,817
Ooh, the next course.
323
00:13:53,818 --> 00:13:56,147
Teddy, I know you're a bratwurst fan.
324
00:13:56,148 --> 00:13:59,183
Somebody's been on my Pinterest page.
325
00:13:59,184 --> 00:14:00,818
And, Dani, you've been complaining
326
00:14:00,819 --> 00:14:02,286
about dry skin, so... Yeah.
327
00:14:02,287 --> 00:14:05,256
I whipped you up a lotion
of rose hips and Shea butter.
328
00:14:05,257 --> 00:14:07,825
Your hands will thank me.
329
00:14:07,826 --> 00:14:09,426
Oh.
330
00:14:09,427 --> 00:14:11,629
Thank you, Felix.
331
00:14:11,630 --> 00:14:13,397
My pleasure.
332
00:14:13,398 --> 00:14:14,698
Felix, is all this pampering
333
00:14:14,699 --> 00:14:17,001
because you don't have Oscar
to take care of anymore?
334
00:14:17,002 --> 00:14:19,225
I don't even know what
you're talking about.
335
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,104
- Oh.
- Teddy,
336
00:14:20,105 --> 00:14:21,505
don't move!
337
00:14:21,506 --> 00:14:23,473
You're more lint than man right now.
338
00:14:24,508 --> 00:14:25,676
What?
339
00:14:27,712 --> 00:14:29,513
That tickles.
340
00:14:30,916 --> 00:14:32,082
I didn't say stop.
341
00:14:32,083 --> 00:14:35,819
Oh, right there, right there.
342
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:37,587
- There.
- Hey, guys.
343
00:14:38,722 --> 00:14:42,193
Oh. I see you're
lint-rolling Teddy now.
344
00:14:42,194 --> 00:14:44,361
Oscar,
345
00:14:44,362 --> 00:14:46,664
your show starts in two
minutes. Come on, Teddy.
346
00:14:46,665 --> 00:14:48,831
Mm-hmm.
347
00:14:49,967 --> 00:14:52,069
So the new roommate is
working out great, then?
348
00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:54,971
Oh, he is, um, really something.
349
00:14:56,387 --> 00:14:57,908
How's everything up in your love nest?
350
00:14:57,909 --> 00:15:00,711
- Oh, so much love.
- Mm.
351
00:15:00,712 --> 00:15:02,479
Great. I'm happy for you.
352
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,143
Not as happy as I am for you.
353
00:15:04,144 --> 00:15:06,584
Looks like this, uh, move
worked out for both of us.
354
00:15:06,585 --> 00:15:08,986
Absolutely.
355
00:15:08,987 --> 00:15:10,788
Oscar, there's a...
there's a little hint
356
00:15:10,789 --> 00:15:12,523
of, uh, lint on your shirt there.
357
00:15:12,524 --> 00:15:14,691
Oh.
358
00:15:18,829 --> 00:15:21,532
- I don't know how this thing works.
- Stop. Stop. It's more of a...
359
00:15:21,533 --> 00:15:23,067
It's more of a sweeping motion.
360
00:15:23,068 --> 00:15:25,034
It's a lint roller, not a lint dagger.
361
00:15:25,903 --> 00:15:28,539
Can you... help me?
362
00:15:28,540 --> 00:15:30,341
Do you want me to help you?
363
00:15:30,342 --> 00:15:33,377
I do want you to help me.
364
00:15:33,378 --> 00:15:36,380
Oh, thank God. I miss
doing things for you!
365
00:15:36,381 --> 00:15:38,616
And I miss doing nothing!
366
00:15:38,617 --> 00:15:40,117
I want you to move back in!
367
00:15:40,118 --> 00:15:42,719
- I want to move back in, too!
- Oh!
368
00:15:45,523 --> 00:15:48,391
Damn it! Neil's home.
369
00:15:50,628 --> 00:15:53,130
Vicki. Felix.
370
00:15:53,131 --> 00:15:56,366
- Neil.
- Armstrong.
371
00:15:58,902 --> 00:16:01,086
Neil, I have a request,
372
00:16:01,087 --> 00:16:03,656
and I'm going to make it
as efficient as possible.
373
00:16:03,657 --> 00:16:05,891
- Leave.
- What?
374
00:16:05,892 --> 00:16:08,260
Pack your things.
Oscar's moving back in.
375
00:16:08,261 --> 00:16:11,397
Oh. The lease I signed
legally entitles me
376
00:16:11,398 --> 00:16:12,965
to stay here for one year.
377
00:16:12,966 --> 00:16:14,166
And why would I leave
378
00:16:14,167 --> 00:16:15,550
when this apartment is equidistant
379
00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:16,869
from my work, my parents
380
00:16:16,870 --> 00:16:19,137
and the woman destined
to become my lover?
381
00:16:21,874 --> 00:16:23,608
I'm not going anywhere.
382
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,278
Vicki, come!
383
00:16:31,517 --> 00:16:33,285
What are we gonna do?
384
00:16:33,286 --> 00:16:37,890
We need to convince Neil
Armstrong to take one small step
385
00:16:37,891 --> 00:16:40,893
out of our apartment and...
386
00:16:40,894 --> 00:16:43,995
Just keep walking.
387
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:48,367
Wow. You... you really
don't know your history.
388
00:16:48,368 --> 00:16:49,700
No, no.
389
00:16:52,471 --> 00:16:55,207
Oh, sorry, Neil.
390
00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:56,475
Elevator's out.
391
00:16:56,476 --> 00:16:59,044
- Just so inefficient.
- Hmm.
392
00:16:59,045 --> 00:17:01,080
Well, not for me.
393
00:17:01,081 --> 00:17:03,215
Taking the stairs will
count as my workout.
394
00:17:03,216 --> 00:17:05,550
I just saved an hour a day.
395
00:17:22,568 --> 00:17:25,170
Oh. Sorry, Neil.
396
00:17:25,171 --> 00:17:26,505
I should have warned you.
397
00:17:26,506 --> 00:17:28,540
My Kronos Quartet cover band meets here
398
00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:32,077
thrice weekly for midnight rehearsals.
399
00:17:32,078 --> 00:17:34,079
Aha.
400
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,515
A little "Nocturne" in the nocturne.
401
00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:40,552
He knew the name of the piece
402
00:17:40,553 --> 00:17:43,521
and revealed it in a clever
way. This is not good!
403
00:17:47,092 --> 00:17:49,193
Shall we take it from the top?
404
00:17:54,733 --> 00:17:57,335
Damn it, we sound sublime!
405
00:18:02,274 --> 00:18:04,643
Namaste, Neil!
406
00:18:04,644 --> 00:18:06,211
Oh.
407
00:18:06,212 --> 00:18:08,046
So steamy. Hot yoga!
408
00:18:09,516 --> 00:18:11,115
My butt crack's like Splash Mountain.
409
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,356
And I'm going to move away from Teddy.
410
00:18:19,658 --> 00:18:22,361
I'm actually certified
in Jivamukti Yoga,
411
00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:24,229
and you're doing everything
412
00:18:24,230 --> 00:18:25,898
wrong.
413
00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:28,599
Let me go jump into my Lululemons.
414
00:18:29,535 --> 00:18:32,104
Aah. It's hopeless.
415
00:18:32,105 --> 00:18:33,939
- Nothing's worked.
- Yeah.
416
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:36,575
We should turn the heat off
before Mr. Novak complains.
417
00:18:36,576 --> 00:18:38,911
Oh, he moved out two weeks ago.
418
00:18:38,912 --> 00:18:40,512
Which means that apartment's empty.
419
00:18:40,513 --> 00:18:45,116
You mean we could kill Neil
and put his body parts up there?
420
00:18:46,685 --> 00:18:50,222
Or we get Neil to take that apartment.
421
00:18:50,223 --> 00:18:51,356
Oh, yeah, let's try that.
422
00:18:51,357 --> 00:18:53,192
Yes, that's better, that's better.
423
00:18:53,193 --> 00:18:55,460
Neil,
424
00:18:55,461 --> 00:18:57,629
this place would be perfect for you!
425
00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:58,931
It's the same layout
426
00:18:58,932 --> 00:19:00,933
with an even better view!
427
00:19:00,934 --> 00:19:02,501
I don't know.
428
00:19:02,502 --> 00:19:04,303
Seven extra seconds on the elevator
429
00:19:04,304 --> 00:19:06,505
times two round trips a day over a year
430
00:19:06,506 --> 00:19:09,274
equals just over 2.83 hours wasted.
431
00:19:09,275 --> 00:19:11,710
Hmm.
432
00:19:11,711 --> 00:19:13,278
Well, I've made my decision.
433
00:19:13,279 --> 00:19:15,480
Any chance it's a yes?
434
00:19:15,481 --> 00:19:17,581
Your simplicity is childlike.
435
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:22,921
Well, it looks like I'm stuck with him.
436
00:19:22,922 --> 00:19:25,016
I don't even want to go
back down to the apartment.
437
00:19:25,017 --> 00:19:27,258
Yeah, I understand. I can't
go back to Charlotte's place.
438
00:19:27,259 --> 00:19:28,882
She's having the whole
kitchen repainted.
439
00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:30,131
Oh, God, did you cook?
440
00:19:32,957 --> 00:19:34,892
Want to just hang out here for a while?
441
00:19:34,893 --> 00:19:37,094
- Sure.
- Hmm.
442
00:19:40,965 --> 00:19:43,668
- Wish I had all my TVs up here.
- Mm.
443
00:19:43,669 --> 00:19:45,670
These buckets aren't
exactly posterior friendly.
444
00:19:45,671 --> 00:19:47,471
I wish we had our couch.
445
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,109
Coffee table could go right here.
446
00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:52,677
I could throw my socks
447
00:19:52,678 --> 00:19:55,078
right over there.
448
00:19:56,214 --> 00:19:57,482
We'd be roommates!
449
00:19:57,483 --> 00:19:59,417
Again!
450
00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:01,177
So much hugging.
451
00:20:01,178 --> 00:20:03,038
Yeah, that's enough
hugging for a whole year.
452
00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:11,667
And that completes the
tour. What do you think?
453
00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:15,159
It's the same damn apartment!
454
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,495
No, it is not.
455
00:20:17,496 --> 00:20:19,864
The stain on the old
floors was maple cherry.
456
00:20:19,865 --> 00:20:21,565
And these floors are...?
457
00:20:21,566 --> 00:20:24,335
Oak toffee! Open your eyes, people!
458
00:20:24,336 --> 00:20:26,017
I'm just glad you guys
are roommates again.
459
00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:27,401
Now we have someplace to hang out.
460
00:20:27,402 --> 00:20:28,773
I've tried their place.
461
00:20:28,774 --> 00:20:30,540
Too many smelly candles.
462
00:20:31,475 --> 00:20:34,211
You ladies have a problem.
463
00:20:34,212 --> 00:20:35,846
Well, you're always welcome up here.
464
00:20:35,847 --> 00:20:37,481
Consider this your home away from home.
465
00:20:40,686 --> 00:20:42,019
Felix, what the hell?
466
00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:44,755
Ah, sorry. It's the higher altitude.
467
00:20:44,756 --> 00:20:47,558
It's 18 feet higher.
468
00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:49,727
Well, tell that to my sinuses.
469
00:20:49,728 --> 00:20:52,362
It's 18 feet higher!
470
00:20:53,364 --> 00:20:55,466
Okay, even with my impaired nose,
471
00:20:55,467 --> 00:20:57,868
I can tell that you have
not unpacked your toothbrush.
472
00:20:57,869 --> 00:21:01,538
And I can tell that you have not
unpacked the stick up your butt!
473
00:21:03,038 --> 00:21:06,060
They're back, ladies and gentlemen!
474
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:14,408
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