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1
00:00:03,363 --> 00:00:07,467
Om...
2
00:00:07,468 --> 00:00:08,935
What the hell?
3
00:00:08,936 --> 00:00:11,271
- Shh! He's meditating.
- Ah.
4
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:14,574
Om...
5
00:00:21,449 --> 00:00:25,033
I can't smoke cigars in here,
but you can make it smell
6
00:00:25,034 --> 00:00:26,732
like a Thai massage parlor?
7
00:00:27,801 --> 00:00:29,803
I would imagine.
8
00:00:29,804 --> 00:00:32,005
Sorry, Oscar.
9
00:00:32,006 --> 00:00:34,507
I know you are incensed by incense.
10
00:00:35,596 --> 00:00:37,077
Just trying to regain my inner peace.
11
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,919
It's been two months
since Emily and I broke up
12
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,423
and I'm still feeling out of balance.
13
00:00:40,424 --> 00:00:42,482
I did the same thing after my divorce.
14
00:00:42,483 --> 00:00:44,384
Only instead of meditation and chanting,
15
00:00:44,385 --> 00:00:46,852
it was carrot cake and Merlot.
16
00:00:47,754 --> 00:00:49,656
So, how was Shakespeare in the Park?
17
00:00:49,657 --> 00:00:51,692
Was Ralph Fiennes amazing as Henry IV?
18
00:00:51,693 --> 00:00:52,793
Eh.
19
00:00:52,794 --> 00:00:53,794
He was okay.
20
00:00:53,795 --> 00:00:55,018
How would you know?
21
00:00:55,019 --> 00:00:56,863
You fell asleep five minutes in.
22
00:00:56,864 --> 00:00:57,998
Oscar!
23
00:00:57,999 --> 00:00:59,702
How can you fall asleep
during Shakespeare?
24
00:00:59,703 --> 00:01:00,801
Easy.
25
00:01:00,802 --> 00:01:02,705
First you get confused,
then you stop listening,
26
00:01:02,706 --> 00:01:04,104
then, before you know it,
27
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:07,139
your girlfriend's elbowing you
because Voldemort is bowing.
28
00:01:08,241 --> 00:01:10,777
Well, maybe you'll like
part two of the play better.
29
00:01:10,778 --> 00:01:11,978
The...
30
00:01:11,979 --> 00:01:13,547
There's a part two?
31
00:01:13,548 --> 00:01:15,982
Yes, remember?
32
00:01:15,983 --> 00:01:17,184
Thursday night.
33
00:01:17,185 --> 00:01:19,086
But there's a game on Thursday night.
34
00:01:19,087 --> 00:01:20,053
What game?
35
00:01:20,054 --> 00:01:21,153
Any game.
36
00:01:22,422 --> 00:01:23,806
Oscar!
37
00:01:23,807 --> 00:01:25,407
I cannot believe that
you are complaining
38
00:01:25,408 --> 00:01:27,539
about going to the theater with
a beautiful, cultured woman.
39
00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:28,929
Do you know how lucky you are?
40
00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:30,670
I would trade places
with you in a second.
41
00:01:32,132 --> 00:01:33,433
You know what?
42
00:01:33,434 --> 00:01:35,702
Maybe we can make that happen.
43
00:01:35,703 --> 00:01:38,271
Why don't you go with Charlotte?
44
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:40,006
Oh, that's sweet of you, but...
45
00:01:40,007 --> 00:01:41,007
Oh, come on!
46
00:01:41,008 --> 00:01:42,008
You love artsy stuff,
47
00:01:42,009 --> 00:01:43,710
you hate hearing me snore,
48
00:01:43,711 --> 00:01:45,212
and I love not going.
49
00:01:45,213 --> 00:01:46,879
It's a win-win-win.
50
00:01:48,215 --> 00:01:51,084
Well, if Charlotte doesn't
mind, I would love to escort her.
51
00:01:51,085 --> 00:01:53,687
Great! What an amazing plan!
52
00:01:53,688 --> 00:01:57,591
Yeah, what an amazing, undiscussed plan.
53
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I'm so excited
54
00:01:58,626 --> 00:02:00,026
for Thursday.
55
00:02:00,027 --> 00:02:01,890
When we hear the immortal
words of Price Henry,
56
00:02:01,891 --> 00:02:04,931
"I know you all, and will awhile uphold
57
00:02:04,932 --> 00:02:07,567
the unyoked humor of your idleness".
58
00:02:07,568 --> 00:02:10,070
And I can't wait till
Thursday when I hear
59
00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:11,872
the immortal words of the pizza guy,
60
00:02:11,873 --> 00:02:14,074
"I'm here.
61
00:02:14,075 --> 00:02:17,209
Enjoy your cheesy bread."
62
00:02:17,374 --> 00:02:21,739
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
63
00:02:23,717 --> 00:02:24,718
Where's Felix tonight?
64
00:02:24,719 --> 00:02:25,719
He's out with Charlotte.
65
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:26,887
In the past week,
66
00:02:26,888 --> 00:02:29,389
he has saved me from
a play, an art opening,
67
00:02:29,390 --> 00:02:32,159
and some dancing bird thing.
68
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,994
Swan Lake?
69
00:02:33,995 --> 00:02:35,761
That's it.
70
00:02:36,730 --> 00:02:38,031
And you're not worried
71
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,015
that Felix is gonna swoop
in and steal your woman?
72
00:02:44,305 --> 00:02:46,506
Well, Oscar, I'm...
73
00:02:46,507 --> 00:02:48,970
I'm glad you're free to hang
out now that I'm back from Japan.
74
00:02:48,971 --> 00:02:50,477
Why were you gone so long, Murph?
75
00:02:50,478 --> 00:02:51,581
Well, you know how it goes.
76
00:02:51,582 --> 00:02:53,814
You go on vacation, meet a girl,
77
00:02:53,815 --> 00:02:56,283
end up hosting a Japanese game show.
78
00:02:56,284 --> 00:02:58,984
You lead a dumb, crazy-ass life.
79
00:03:00,153 --> 00:03:01,988
You're like a hunky Forrest Gump.
80
00:03:01,989 --> 00:03:02,889
Oh, my God!
81
00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:05,826
That lady is a buyer from Macy's
82
00:03:05,827 --> 00:03:07,650
and she was admiring
this necklace that I made
83
00:03:07,651 --> 00:03:10,263
and she wants a hundred for
a big event this weekend.
84
00:03:10,264 --> 00:03:12,098
Oh, my God, that's great!
85
00:03:14,168 --> 00:03:15,368
Thank you!
86
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:17,871
Opportunity is finally
knocking on my door.
87
00:03:17,872 --> 00:03:19,735
So, do you have all of
the hundred ready to go?
88
00:03:19,736 --> 00:03:22,008
No, I just have this one.
89
00:03:22,009 --> 00:03:25,145
That took me five hours to
make, times 99 necklaces...
90
00:03:25,146 --> 00:03:27,647
Oh, my God, there's
no way I can do this.
91
00:03:27,648 --> 00:03:29,616
Great, I just opened the door
92
00:03:29,617 --> 00:03:31,885
and opportunity punched me in the face.
93
00:03:31,886 --> 00:03:32,919
You know what?
94
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,287
What if we help you make them?
95
00:03:34,288 --> 00:03:35,689
It's too crowded in our apartment,
96
00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:37,233
but maybe we could do an assembly line
97
00:03:37,234 --> 00:03:38,172
up in Oscar's place.
98
00:03:38,173 --> 00:03:39,226
Really?
99
00:03:39,227 --> 00:03:41,127
I can make it super fun for you guys.
100
00:03:41,128 --> 00:03:42,696
Free beer...
101
00:03:42,697 --> 00:03:44,364
All the onion rings you can eat.
102
00:03:44,365 --> 00:03:46,532
That's a lot of onion rings.
103
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,602
This is huge.
104
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:49,803
Thank you!
105
00:03:49,804 --> 00:03:53,607
I'm finally going to
fulfill my creative destiny!
106
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:58,277
Right after I sweep up all the
dead silverfish in the pantry.
107
00:04:02,048 --> 00:04:04,851
Good evening, you
scrappy band of underdogs.
108
00:04:04,852 --> 00:04:06,186
Hey.
109
00:04:06,187 --> 00:04:07,954
How was the ballet?
110
00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:09,089
Amazing.
111
00:04:09,090 --> 00:04:10,257
Felix, what did you call it?
112
00:04:10,258 --> 00:04:11,791
An invigorating exploration
113
00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:13,326
of the boundaries of the human body.
114
00:04:13,327 --> 00:04:15,070
Well, I would like to
explore the boundaries
115
00:04:15,071 --> 00:04:16,229
of your human body.
116
00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:17,497
Ugh.
117
00:04:17,498 --> 00:04:19,099
I'm sorry, I knew two words in
118
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,700
that was going south.
119
00:04:20,701 --> 00:04:23,270
And tomorrow night I
have secured us box seats
120
00:04:23,271 --> 00:04:24,771
for the Arias of Love concert,
121
00:04:24,772 --> 00:04:26,115
featuring our favorite soprano...
122
00:04:26,116 --> 00:04:28,383
Anna Netrebko!
123
00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:32,214
Oscar, you don't mind if I'm
out with Felix another night?
124
00:04:32,215 --> 00:04:35,248
Of course. I can't wait to not go.
125
00:04:35,249 --> 00:04:36,832
I'll change and meet you at your house.
126
00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:37,832
Okay.
127
00:04:41,254 --> 00:04:43,723
This is the life!
128
00:04:43,724 --> 00:04:46,793
Felix does the boring
five hours, then I swoop in
129
00:04:46,794 --> 00:04:49,161
at the end of the night
for the fun five minutes.
130
00:04:51,031 --> 00:04:52,065
Ten minutes.
131
00:04:52,066 --> 00:04:53,232
Ten is good, right?
132
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,075
Konichiwa, dude.
133
00:05:02,076 --> 00:05:04,810
Release the lizards!
134
00:05:06,313 --> 00:05:08,348
I don't get your show, Murph.
135
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:09,482
Yeah!
136
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,018
Why are some of the Tokyo
Fun Time Lizards real
137
00:05:12,019 --> 00:05:14,955
and some are women in lizard suits?
138
00:05:14,956 --> 00:05:16,623
You know, man, after the second day,
139
00:05:16,624 --> 00:05:19,558
I just stopped asking questions.
140
00:05:20,327 --> 00:05:21,928
Great work, team.
141
00:05:21,929 --> 00:05:24,631
And the necklaces look fantastic.
142
00:05:24,632 --> 00:05:27,500
Oh, but remember, it's two
hex cuts between every rondelle
143
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,402
and every third
cloisonné should be onyx.
144
00:05:29,403 --> 00:05:31,705
I tried to tell them
that, but I couldn't
145
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,673
say any of those words.
146
00:05:33,674 --> 00:05:36,710
Well, maybe this is distracting you.
147
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,044
What is this?
148
00:05:38,045 --> 00:05:40,013
Some kind of reptile porn?
149
00:05:41,148 --> 00:05:43,249
No, that's just my game show.
150
00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,984
Though I did have sex with
that lizard woman on the left.
151
00:05:47,287 --> 00:05:49,489
But, serious, you guys,
152
00:05:49,490 --> 00:05:51,825
I just wanted to say
thank you so, so much.
153
00:05:51,826 --> 00:05:54,728
It's like you have my
future in your hands.
154
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,897
Your greasy, greasy, hands.
155
00:05:57,898 --> 00:05:59,866
Yeah, look!
156
00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:02,369
I made a necklace completely
out of onion rings.
157
00:06:02,370 --> 00:06:04,904
Maybe we could take a break
158
00:06:04,905 --> 00:06:07,206
on the ol' onion rings.
159
00:06:08,274 --> 00:06:10,744
Who wants to help me
pick out pocket squares?
160
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,008
OSCAR, TEDDY and MURPH: Not it!
161
00:06:12,009 --> 00:06:13,913
Not... damn it!
162
00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:16,349
Well, I've noticed
that Charlotte prefers
163
00:06:16,350 --> 00:06:18,485
solid colors over
patterns, so I can't decide
164
00:06:18,486 --> 00:06:19,749
whether to go with the white...
165
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,288
or the more daring cream.
166
00:06:22,289 --> 00:06:24,324
I don't know, why not the cream?
167
00:06:24,325 --> 00:06:26,292
Why not indeed!
168
00:06:27,361 --> 00:06:29,896
I will be the re-bel of the ball.
169
00:06:29,897 --> 00:06:30,997
And she will be
170
00:06:30,998 --> 00:06:32,932
my matching rebelette. Aw.
171
00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:34,200
Look at you all giddy.
172
00:06:34,201 --> 00:06:35,561
You know, in a different universe,
173
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,283
you and Charlotte would
make a great couple.
174
00:06:37,307 --> 00:06:39,205
- Please.
- No, you two are adorable.
175
00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:40,869
You could have one of
those cute nicknames
176
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:43,371
like Charlix or Fartulotte.
177
00:06:44,377 --> 00:06:45,779
Probably the first one.
178
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:46,845
First one, yeah.
179
00:06:51,451 --> 00:06:54,421
These are amazing seats.
180
00:06:54,422 --> 00:06:56,089
That's not all.
181
00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:58,091
I thought we could share this.
182
00:06:58,092 --> 00:07:00,660
Sneaking in alcohol?
183
00:07:00,661 --> 00:07:03,396
I never knew you were such a bad boy.
184
00:07:03,397 --> 00:07:06,266
I'm wearing cream, aren't I?
185
00:07:06,267 --> 00:07:08,667
I'll go grab us a couple glasses.
186
00:07:11,237 --> 00:07:14,240
You two are such a lovely couple.
187
00:07:14,241 --> 00:07:16,643
Oh, we're not a couple.
188
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:19,345
I don't know why
people keep saying that.
189
00:07:19,346 --> 00:07:21,514
You seem so perfect together.
190
00:07:23,084 --> 00:07:25,952
She's actually my roommate's girlfriend.
191
00:07:25,953 --> 00:07:28,755
We are enjoying a night
out as lovers of the arts,
192
00:07:28,756 --> 00:07:30,923
not of each other.
193
00:07:32,725 --> 00:07:34,627
In fact, I'm just getting
out of a relationship,
194
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:36,796
so I'm not even ready
to think about dating.
195
00:07:39,699 --> 00:07:41,534
But if I were,
196
00:07:41,535 --> 00:07:44,804
I would have to concede
that Charlotte does possess
197
00:07:44,805 --> 00:07:46,239
many attractive qualities.
198
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,407
She's beautiful, obviously,
199
00:07:47,408 --> 00:07:48,942
intelligent with a sparkling wit,
200
00:07:48,943 --> 00:07:51,643
and I always look forward
to our next excursion.
201
00:07:54,247 --> 00:07:56,182
And if I'm being completely honest,
202
00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:58,952
I think I might want to
spend all of my time with her
203
00:07:58,953 --> 00:08:01,187
and she might be the soul
mate that I'm looking for
204
00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:03,957
and oh, my God, am I falling
for my best friend's girl?
205
00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:05,624
Felix!
206
00:08:08,828 --> 00:08:11,998
I stole these when the
bartender wasn't looking.
207
00:08:11,999 --> 00:08:13,399
I know it's wrong,
208
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,669
but sometimes you've just
got to go for it, right?
209
00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:18,036
Right.
210
00:08:20,039 --> 00:08:23,176
To a night of love.
211
00:08:23,177 --> 00:08:25,512
To a night of love.
212
00:08:39,582 --> 00:08:42,450
What the hell?
213
00:08:42,451 --> 00:08:44,451
It's 8:00 in the morning!
214
00:08:45,753 --> 00:08:47,422
Just trying to vacuum away the shame.
215
00:08:47,423 --> 00:08:49,624
That...
216
00:08:49,625 --> 00:08:52,660
That the rug must feel
for being so dirty.
217
00:08:52,661 --> 00:08:54,529
I'm surprised you're up so early.
218
00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:55,993
You were out so late with Charlotte.
219
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,131
What? No, we weren't!
220
00:08:57,132 --> 00:08:59,232
Out for... normal amount of time.
221
00:08:59,634 --> 00:09:00,902
Morning.
222
00:09:00,903 --> 00:09:02,303
Hey, babe.
223
00:09:02,304 --> 00:09:03,204
Speaking of normal.
224
00:09:03,205 --> 00:09:04,272
There's normal Charlotte.
225
00:09:04,273 --> 00:09:06,641
My normal friend.
226
00:09:06,642 --> 00:09:09,043
Felix, I had so much fun last night.
227
00:09:09,044 --> 00:09:10,645
Normal amount of fun.
228
00:09:10,646 --> 00:09:12,347
And guess what.
229
00:09:12,348 --> 00:09:13,982
Bryn Terfel is in town tonight
230
00:09:13,983 --> 00:09:16,985
singing Scarpia in Tosca.
231
00:09:16,986 --> 00:09:19,921
Now you're just saying things.
232
00:09:19,922 --> 00:09:22,957
And I got us two tickets!
233
00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:24,259
Oh, tonight?
234
00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:25,260
I don't... I don't...
235
00:09:25,261 --> 00:09:26,361
Not you, Oscar.
236
00:09:26,362 --> 00:09:27,728
For me and Felix.
237
00:09:28,596 --> 00:09:29,530
Oh.
238
00:09:29,531 --> 00:09:31,165
Of course.
239
00:09:31,166 --> 00:09:33,368
Tosca is one of your favorites, right?
240
00:09:33,369 --> 00:09:35,169
Of course.
241
00:09:35,170 --> 00:09:39,474
But I feel like I have been
monopolizing your time, so...
242
00:09:39,475 --> 00:09:41,142
Not at all.
243
00:09:41,143 --> 00:09:43,311
"Please," she asked,
244
00:09:43,312 --> 00:09:45,713
having just bought two
very expensive tickets?
245
00:09:45,714 --> 00:09:48,783
Well...
246
00:09:48,784 --> 00:09:50,784
Great, it's a date!
247
00:09:51,419 --> 00:09:53,254
Not a date!
248
00:09:53,255 --> 00:09:55,222
But I will attend next to you.
249
00:09:59,394 --> 00:10:01,695
Not plugged in there, pal.
250
00:10:02,563 --> 00:10:04,264
Just practicing.
251
00:10:08,336 --> 00:10:09,737
Only 28?
252
00:10:09,738 --> 00:10:10,801
We are falling way behind,
253
00:10:10,802 --> 00:10:11,706
people!
254
00:10:11,707 --> 00:10:13,908
We're just so hungry.
255
00:10:13,909 --> 00:10:15,910
I can go pick up some burgers.
256
00:10:15,911 --> 00:10:18,413
The only thing I need you
picking up is the pace.
257
00:10:18,414 --> 00:10:20,315
My deadline is tomorrow.
258
00:10:20,316 --> 00:10:22,649
You can eat then.
259
00:10:24,485 --> 00:10:26,187
This is not fun anymore.
260
00:10:26,188 --> 00:10:28,990
She wouldn't let me go to the bathroom.
261
00:10:28,991 --> 00:10:30,024
Hey, shh!
262
00:10:30,025 --> 00:10:31,359
She'll hear us talking.
263
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,361
No one make any noise!
264
00:10:33,362 --> 00:10:35,429
Get that phone, man!
265
00:10:43,504 --> 00:10:44,772
It's from Charlotte.
266
00:10:44,773 --> 00:10:46,074
She's at the opera.
267
00:10:46,075 --> 00:10:47,709
She says they're about to have
268
00:10:47,710 --> 00:10:49,176
a night they'll never forget.
269
00:10:51,012 --> 00:10:53,681
Hey, it isn't weird that
Charlotte likes to go out
270
00:10:53,682 --> 00:10:55,149
with Felix all the time, is it?
271
00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:56,084
No, it is.
272
00:10:56,085 --> 00:10:57,285
Definitely weird.
273
00:10:57,286 --> 00:10:58,553
Can you blame her?
274
00:10:58,554 --> 00:11:00,421
I'd be bummed if my
boyfriend didn't want to do
275
00:11:00,422 --> 00:11:01,689
the things I love.
276
00:11:01,690 --> 00:11:03,925
Not a good sign if you're
in it for the long haul.
277
00:11:03,926 --> 00:11:05,960
But I am in it for the long haul.
278
00:11:05,961 --> 00:11:07,664
- Doesn't seem like it.
- Sure don't.
279
00:11:07,665 --> 00:11:10,631
You know, part of being
in a long-term relationship
280
00:11:10,632 --> 00:11:12,232
is acting like you love stuff you don't.
281
00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:14,869
Like, "Sure, baby, I'd
love to spend Saturday
282
00:11:14,870 --> 00:11:16,236
in the Wig District."
283
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,576
Where are you going?
284
00:11:21,577 --> 00:11:23,677
To the opera-singing place!
285
00:11:27,048 --> 00:11:28,416
Where's Oscar?
286
00:11:28,417 --> 00:11:31,085
Did he take an
unauthorized bathroom break?
287
00:11:31,086 --> 00:11:33,121
He's at the opera.
288
00:11:33,122 --> 00:11:35,590
Hilarious, Teddy.
289
00:11:35,591 --> 00:11:38,259
I guess we will all have
to work that much harder.
290
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:39,694
You know what?
291
00:11:39,695 --> 00:11:41,061
If Oscar's out, I'm out.
292
00:11:41,889 --> 00:11:42,930
This is worse than hosting
293
00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:44,065
that Japanese game show.
294
00:11:44,066 --> 00:11:47,268
And they put jumper
cables on my nipples.
295
00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:48,569
I'm out too.
296
00:11:48,570 --> 00:11:49,736
You're mean.
297
00:11:50,838 --> 00:11:52,807
And you lied about those onion rings.
298
00:11:52,808 --> 00:11:54,307
That wasn't all I could eat.
299
00:11:55,176 --> 00:11:56,577
Fine, quitters!
300
00:11:56,578 --> 00:11:58,681
Dani and I will just finish
this by ourselves, right?
301
00:11:59,581 --> 00:12:02,383
We will work here all night
302
00:12:02,384 --> 00:12:04,185
if we have to.
303
00:12:04,186 --> 00:12:05,886
Right?
304
00:12:11,259 --> 00:12:13,027
I didn't get a program.
305
00:12:13,028 --> 00:12:14,395
Can I look over your shoulder?
306
00:12:16,465 --> 00:12:20,401
Oh, you have an eyelash on your cheek.
307
00:12:20,402 --> 00:12:23,204
Leave it, just leave it.
308
00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:24,972
Hey, opera buddies.
309
00:12:24,973 --> 00:12:26,474
Oscar!
310
00:12:26,475 --> 00:12:27,498
What are you doing here?!
311
00:12:27,499 --> 00:12:28,409
Well, I had to see
312
00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:29,744
what the opera was all about.
313
00:12:29,745 --> 00:12:31,279
Can't let you two have all the fun.
314
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,547
And to class up the night,
315
00:12:32,548 --> 00:12:33,948
I brought this.
316
00:12:33,949 --> 00:12:35,716
Chips.
317
00:12:35,717 --> 00:12:36,984
In a tube.
318
00:12:36,985 --> 00:12:40,455
Oscar, I know you hate
all this cultural stuff.
319
00:12:40,456 --> 00:12:41,756
You don't have to be here.
320
00:12:41,757 --> 00:12:42,690
But I want to be here.
321
00:12:42,691 --> 00:12:44,358
What you like, I like.
322
00:12:44,359 --> 00:12:46,127
Your thing is my thing.
323
00:12:46,128 --> 00:12:49,297
It's Tosca...
324
00:12:49,298 --> 00:12:50,597
I'm Osca.
325
00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:54,035
That's sweet.
326
00:12:54,036 --> 00:12:55,770
But I think when it comes to opera,
327
00:12:55,771 --> 00:12:57,071
you either like it or you don't.
328
00:12:57,072 --> 00:12:58,539
Right, Felix?
329
00:12:58,540 --> 00:13:01,342
Wouldn't you describe it
as a feeling in your soul?
330
00:13:04,346 --> 00:13:06,226
Oh, thank God, it's starting.
331
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:07,381
What's this one about?
332
00:13:07,382 --> 00:13:10,818
Tosca is a tragic love triangle.
333
00:13:10,819 --> 00:13:12,720
Is there any other kind?
334
00:13:12,721 --> 00:13:17,291
It's about a happy couple
and an evil man named Scarpia
335
00:13:17,292 --> 00:13:20,060
intent on stealing the woman away.
336
00:13:21,729 --> 00:13:25,032
He's a bad, bad, evil man.
337
00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:27,067
Does he get away with it?
338
00:13:28,069 --> 00:13:29,402
No! He doesn't!
339
00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:31,707
I've fallen for Charlotte!
340
00:13:31,708 --> 00:13:33,665
I didn't mean for it
to happen, it just did!
341
00:13:34,709 --> 00:13:37,043
Don't look at me! I'm a monster!
342
00:13:45,942 --> 00:13:47,943
Felix? Felix?
343
00:13:49,174 --> 00:13:51,608
His vacuum cleaner is here.
344
00:13:52,576 --> 00:13:54,411
And it's cold.
345
00:13:54,412 --> 00:13:55,849
Where could he be?
346
00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:58,023
Oh, you know Felix,
always being so dramatic.
347
00:13:58,024 --> 00:14:00,259
I'm just sorry he ruined
our big night of culture,
348
00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:02,059
which I was super wide awake for.
349
00:14:04,529 --> 00:14:05,997
It's from Felix.
350
00:14:05,998 --> 00:14:08,766
"Dear Oscar, I'm so
sorry for my outburst.
351
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:10,568
"I don't know what came over me.
352
00:14:10,569 --> 00:14:12,403
"Until further notice, I will be
353
00:14:12,404 --> 00:14:15,907
"at the Cleansing Breath
Zen Retreat in Connecticut.
354
00:14:15,908 --> 00:14:19,343
"P.S. I let the neighbors
know you'll be here alone.
355
00:14:19,344 --> 00:14:20,944
Don't use the stove".
356
00:14:22,947 --> 00:14:24,582
Oh, great.
357
00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:27,318
Now all I want to do is use the stove.
358
00:14:27,319 --> 00:14:29,620
Poor Felix.
359
00:14:29,621 --> 00:14:32,323
I can't help feeling a
little responsible for this.
360
00:14:32,324 --> 00:14:34,292
A little?
361
00:14:34,293 --> 00:14:36,094
Or completely?
362
00:14:36,095 --> 00:14:38,062
- Excuse me?
- Oh, come on!
363
00:14:38,063 --> 00:14:39,726
Of course he thinks
he has a crush on you.
364
00:14:39,727 --> 00:14:40,665
You're always like,
365
00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:42,369
"Felix, you know so
much about the ballet."
366
00:14:42,370 --> 00:14:43,401
"Felix,
367
00:14:43,402 --> 00:14:45,136
I got two tickets to
that thing you like."
368
00:14:45,137 --> 00:14:48,439
"Felix, let's get dressed
up as the Queen of England."
369
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:53,177
You wanted me to ask him
so you wouldn't have to go!
370
00:14:53,178 --> 00:14:55,480
Well, I didn't want to go, but now I do.
371
00:14:55,481 --> 00:14:56,581
Who wouldn't?
372
00:14:56,582 --> 00:14:58,449
Look at you, with your hair
373
00:14:58,450 --> 00:15:01,052
and your eyes and your
intoxicating perfume?
374
00:15:01,053 --> 00:15:04,155
I mean, should we be
having sex right now?
375
00:15:04,156 --> 00:15:06,958
Really, Oscar?
376
00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:08,993
Your friend is obviously freaking out
377
00:15:08,994 --> 00:15:10,461
and you're not going after him?
378
00:15:10,462 --> 00:15:12,530
You are so selfish.
379
00:15:12,531 --> 00:15:13,531
Selfish?
380
00:15:13,532 --> 00:15:14,866
I brought chips!
381
00:15:14,867 --> 00:15:18,136
That you ate in the cab ride home.
382
00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:20,037
That was stress eating!
383
00:15:20,038 --> 00:15:22,540
And it didn't work, either,
because I'm still stressed
384
00:15:22,541 --> 00:15:23,708
and I'm still hungry!
385
00:15:26,944 --> 00:15:28,379
I'm going to make a grilled cheese.
386
00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:30,180
I can't use the stove!
387
00:15:34,185 --> 00:15:36,354
- Here's your grilled cheese.
- Ah.
388
00:15:36,355 --> 00:15:37,788
Have you heard from Felix?
389
00:15:37,789 --> 00:15:39,991
No, but it's only been one night.
390
00:15:39,992 --> 00:15:41,953
I don't see why everybody
is so worried about him.
391
00:15:41,954 --> 00:15:43,177
I mean, he's going to be fine.
392
00:15:43,178 --> 00:15:44,751
We're all grown-ups, right?
393
00:15:45,830 --> 00:15:47,999
They forgot to cut the crust off!
394
00:15:49,601 --> 00:15:50,668
I'll do it.
395
00:15:50,669 --> 00:15:51,836
Why not?
396
00:15:51,837 --> 00:15:53,204
I'm a career waitress.
397
00:15:53,205 --> 00:15:55,339
Waiting on people is what I do
398
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:56,723
when I'm not failing to capitalize
399
00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:59,377
on life-changing opportunities.
400
00:15:59,378 --> 00:16:03,046
Yeah, maybe you shouldn't
be holding the knife.
401
00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:06,551
Aw, there she is!
402
00:16:06,552 --> 00:16:07,895
If those are my jewelry supplies,
403
00:16:07,896 --> 00:16:09,387
you can just throw them in the trash.
404
00:16:09,388 --> 00:16:11,756
It's 100 completed
necklaces, ready to go.
405
00:16:11,757 --> 00:16:13,558
We worked on them all night.
406
00:16:13,559 --> 00:16:15,458
All damn night.
407
00:16:16,427 --> 00:16:17,662
I even got a bead
408
00:16:17,663 --> 00:16:19,263
stuck in my ear.
409
00:16:19,264 --> 00:16:21,299
Yeah, yeah, it's still in there.
410
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:22,960
I got to go to the hospital after this.
411
00:16:24,735 --> 00:16:27,738
You guys did this even
after I was such a jerk?
412
00:16:27,739 --> 00:16:29,707
I realized we weren't
being good friends to you.
413
00:16:29,708 --> 00:16:32,043
You were in a tough spot,
and you needed our help.
414
00:16:32,044 --> 00:16:34,544
Aww, you guys!
415
00:16:36,681 --> 00:16:38,049
Come on, Oscar, you too.
416
00:16:38,050 --> 00:16:39,617
Actually, I didn't help.
417
00:16:39,618 --> 00:16:42,086
It's okay, you were probably
busy dealing with Felix.
418
00:16:42,087 --> 00:16:43,988
Actually, I wasn't.
419
00:16:43,989 --> 00:16:45,423
Charlotte's right.
420
00:16:45,424 --> 00:16:48,059
I'm a selfish, bad, bad friend.
421
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:50,060
I deserve the crusts.
422
00:16:53,898 --> 00:16:55,233
You guys are the best.
423
00:16:55,234 --> 00:16:57,335
I thought I missed my one chance.
424
00:16:57,336 --> 00:16:58,401
But now look.
425
00:17:05,109 --> 00:17:07,745
These aren't tied off.
426
00:17:07,746 --> 00:17:10,280
Hey, those aren't tied off!
427
00:17:12,917 --> 00:17:14,352
That was Oscar's job.
428
00:17:14,353 --> 00:17:16,953
Oh, but he wasn't there!
429
00:17:19,156 --> 00:17:21,125
Okay, listen up,
430
00:17:21,126 --> 00:17:23,389
no one is leaving here until
every one of these necklaces
431
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:24,328
is finished!
432
00:17:24,329 --> 00:17:26,272
Uh, you remember that
thing you apologized for...
433
00:17:26,273 --> 00:17:27,572
Bup, bup, bup, let's go!
434
00:17:28,399 --> 00:17:29,867
Oh, really appreciate you guys,
435
00:17:29,868 --> 00:17:31,235
best friends in the whole world.
436
00:17:31,236 --> 00:17:32,635
Come on, move it!
437
00:17:34,138 --> 00:17:36,506
Hey, do I have time to
go to the E.R. first?
438
00:17:47,292 --> 00:17:50,727
Welcome to the Cleansing Breath
Zen Center and Yoga retreat.
439
00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:53,965
Yeah, okay.
440
00:17:53,966 --> 00:17:56,778
I'm looking for a
strange little man who...
441
00:17:56,779 --> 00:18:00,198
- Felix?
- Yeah.
442
00:18:00,199 --> 00:18:02,032
He's in the rock garden.
443
00:18:02,533 --> 00:18:04,200
Namaste.
444
00:18:06,404 --> 00:18:08,005
Felix?
445
00:18:08,006 --> 00:18:11,174
Are you the new janitor here?
446
00:18:12,143 --> 00:18:13,911
No, this is a Zen garden.
447
00:18:13,912 --> 00:18:15,713
By eliminating every imperfection
448
00:18:15,714 --> 00:18:17,315
and footprint in this place,
449
00:18:17,316 --> 00:18:19,217
it's possible to bring
calm to the world.
450
00:18:19,218 --> 00:18:20,852
Unlike some people,
451
00:18:20,853 --> 00:18:22,719
who seem to just be phoning it in.
452
00:18:23,988 --> 00:18:25,623
Okay, that's it!
453
00:18:25,624 --> 00:18:28,559
Oh, Lance, what happened to
your seven-day vow of silence?
454
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,495
It's worth breaking to say that you are
455
00:18:30,496 --> 00:18:32,663
an insufferable,
judgmental, know-it-all
456
00:18:32,664 --> 00:18:35,098
who is utterly without Zen!
457
00:18:38,903 --> 00:18:42,373
Oh, I see someone didn't take
a vow against middle fingers.
458
00:18:42,374 --> 00:18:43,941
Felix, are you all right?
459
00:18:43,942 --> 00:18:45,243
I'm really worried about you.
460
00:18:45,244 --> 00:18:47,445
Well, I've been thinking about it a lot,
461
00:18:47,446 --> 00:18:48,913
and I guess I've decided that I...
462
00:18:48,914 --> 00:18:49,614
Oscar?
463
00:18:49,615 --> 00:18:51,482
Charlotte!
464
00:18:51,483 --> 00:18:52,450
What are you doing here?
465
00:18:52,451 --> 00:18:54,552
I was worried about Felix.
466
00:18:54,553 --> 00:18:56,454
What are you doing here?
467
00:18:56,455 --> 00:18:58,389
I was worried about Felix too.
468
00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:00,458
Well, at least we have
one thing in common.
469
00:19:00,459 --> 00:19:04,829
Hey, guys, you're really
messing up my sand pattern here.
470
00:19:04,830 --> 00:19:06,130
"One thing in common"?
471
00:19:06,131 --> 00:19:08,266
- What does that mean?
- Well, look at you.
472
00:19:08,267 --> 00:19:10,768
You're all beautiful
and classy and cultured,
473
00:19:10,769 --> 00:19:14,438
and I'm, you know, me.
474
00:19:14,439 --> 00:19:16,407
Yeah, so?
475
00:19:16,408 --> 00:19:18,943
So? What kind of a future
are we going to have
476
00:19:18,944 --> 00:19:21,312
if we're so different?
477
00:19:21,313 --> 00:19:24,582
I literally just raked that.
478
00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:27,084
Is that why you've been acting so weird?
479
00:19:27,085 --> 00:19:30,288
I don't want someone exactly like me.
480
00:19:30,289 --> 00:19:33,057
I love that we challenge each other.
481
00:19:33,058 --> 00:19:34,592
You do?
482
00:19:34,593 --> 00:19:37,093
Does one of you guys want to rake too?
483
00:19:38,896 --> 00:19:40,164
Yes.
484
00:19:40,165 --> 00:19:42,800
I spend all day with snooty people.
485
00:19:42,801 --> 00:19:45,002
I love that I get to come home to you.
486
00:19:45,003 --> 00:19:48,477
So you can stop pretending
to like all my artsy stuff.
487
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,545
Thank God.
488
00:19:54,683 --> 00:19:56,986
Do you want to handle
this lunatic or should I?
489
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:59,387
I'll start.
490
00:19:59,388 --> 00:20:01,856
Felix, are you okay?
491
00:20:01,857 --> 00:20:03,191
Yes.
492
00:20:03,192 --> 00:20:06,327
I suppose I'm just
ashamed for losing control
493
00:20:06,328 --> 00:20:08,496
and making this so
awkward for both of you.
494
00:20:08,497 --> 00:20:11,366
I know you think you have
feelings for me, but maybe
495
00:20:11,367 --> 00:20:14,436
you were just enjoying a
little female companionship.
496
00:20:14,437 --> 00:20:16,772
And maybe this is a sign
497
00:20:16,773 --> 00:20:18,540
that you're ready to move on from Emily
498
00:20:18,541 --> 00:20:19,874
and start dating again.
499
00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:21,943
I think you may be right.
500
00:20:21,944 --> 00:20:24,312
I just happened to be the
first woman you went out with,
501
00:20:24,313 --> 00:20:26,037
and you got caught up
in the fantasy of it all.
502
00:20:26,038 --> 00:20:26,581
Exactly, yes.
503
00:20:26,582 --> 00:20:27,765
This wasn't about you at all.
504
00:20:27,766 --> 00:20:29,718
I was just so lonely, it
could have been anyone.
505
00:20:29,719 --> 00:20:31,586
Well, not anyone.
506
00:20:31,587 --> 00:20:33,388
I mean, it could have been a mannequin.
507
00:20:33,389 --> 00:20:35,356
Or a broom with a wig!
508
00:20:35,357 --> 00:20:36,791
Or one of those
509
00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:37,792
inflatable...
510
00:20:37,793 --> 00:20:39,527
I think Felix made his point.
511
00:20:39,528 --> 00:20:42,964
Well, I think I'm ready to
end this self-imposed exile.
512
00:20:42,965 --> 00:20:44,065
Look out, Manhattan women
513
00:20:44,066 --> 00:20:46,468
age 35 to 55 with a
passion for Scrabble,
514
00:20:46,469 --> 00:20:48,803
because Felix Unger is DTF!
515
00:20:48,804 --> 00:20:49,571
Hmm?
516
00:20:49,572 --> 00:20:52,039
Determined to fornicate.
517
00:20:54,142 --> 00:20:55,642
Let's go.
518
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,322
Felix!
519
00:21:06,323 --> 00:21:07,855
Coming!
520
00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:15,453
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