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1
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:07,023
Two Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reinbeers.
2
00:00:07,024 --> 00:00:09,357
I don't write 'em, I just say 'em.
3
00:00:10,226 --> 00:00:11,761
- Hey!
- Hey!
4
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:12,895
- Hey!
- Hey.
5
00:00:12,896 --> 00:00:15,964
I'm going to need these.
6
00:00:18,534 --> 00:00:21,970
Felix's mother is coming for Christmas.
7
00:00:23,205 --> 00:00:26,175
I thought Felix was built in
a government research facility.
8
00:00:26,176 --> 00:00:28,644
It's nice to have family
around for the holidays.
9
00:00:28,645 --> 00:00:30,880
That's because you
don't know his mother.
10
00:00:30,881 --> 00:00:33,149
She holds him to these
impossible standards
11
00:00:33,150 --> 00:00:35,584
and he drives himself crazy
trying to live up to them.
12
00:00:35,585 --> 00:00:37,168
I have noticed that whenever she calls,
13
00:00:37,169 --> 00:00:38,969
he starts dusting and ironing.
14
00:00:40,022 --> 00:00:41,157
Once at the same time.
15
00:00:41,158 --> 00:00:43,192
He's like a damn cartoon octopus.
16
00:00:45,662 --> 00:00:47,029
And let's just say
17
00:00:47,030 --> 00:00:49,765
she is not a member of
the Oscar Madison Fan Club.
18
00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:50,732
No one is.
19
00:00:50,733 --> 00:00:52,636
Remember there wasn't
enough interest to justify
20
00:00:52,637 --> 00:00:54,837
$7 a month for the website?
21
00:00:54,838 --> 00:00:56,338
Why doesn't Felix's mom like you?
22
00:00:56,339 --> 00:00:57,373
You're a delight.
23
00:00:57,374 --> 00:00:59,442
She thinks I'm a bad influence.
24
00:00:59,443 --> 00:01:01,376
That's why you're a delight.
25
00:01:02,344 --> 00:01:03,946
I was looking forward to Felix going
26
00:01:03,947 --> 00:01:05,714
to his mom's house for Christmas.
27
00:01:05,715 --> 00:01:06,949
That way I could celebrate
28
00:01:06,950 --> 00:01:09,417
my traditional "no pants" Christmas.
29
00:01:11,287 --> 00:01:14,256
See, you wake up early
on Christmas morning...
30
00:01:14,257 --> 00:01:16,125
And you don't wear pants.
31
00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:19,428
It's really the most
wonderful time of the year.
32
00:01:19,429 --> 00:01:24,433
Well, enjoying your Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reinbeers?
33
00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:26,734
I wrote that.
34
00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:28,971
Classic me.
35
00:01:28,972 --> 00:01:30,639
I see you got the place all decked out
36
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:31,907
for your Christmas Eve party.
37
00:01:31,908 --> 00:01:33,229
Well, I hope you all can make it.
38
00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:34,693
We're going to have some great food.
39
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,145
Not from here, of course.
40
00:01:36,146 --> 00:01:37,880
And I think I heard
41
00:01:37,881 --> 00:01:40,816
a rumor that a special
guest from the North Pole
42
00:01:40,817 --> 00:01:42,451
will be dropping in.
43
00:01:42,452 --> 00:01:44,587
It's a shame you always
happen to be out of the room
44
00:01:44,588 --> 00:01:45,988
whenever Santa drops by.
45
00:01:45,989 --> 00:01:47,623
I know.
46
00:01:47,624 --> 00:01:49,687
Maybe this year I'll be
lucky enough to finally meet
47
00:01:49,688 --> 00:01:51,921
that handsome devil.
48
00:01:53,395 --> 00:01:54,396
I love how he thinks
49
00:01:54,397 --> 00:01:55,531
he's fooling us.
50
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,195
I mean, how gullible
does he think we are?
51
00:01:57,196 --> 00:01:58,934
Hey, did you guys hear?
52
00:01:58,935 --> 00:02:01,239
There's going to be a secret
guest at the Christmas party.
53
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,540
I think it might be Santa!
54
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,408
Hey, guys.
55
00:02:06,409 --> 00:02:08,112
Well, it looks like
Freddy's making me work
56
00:02:08,113 --> 00:02:09,245
the Christmas party.
57
00:02:09,246 --> 00:02:13,048
It will be the
time-and-a-half of my life.
58
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,117
How come you got stuck
with it and not Maureen?
59
00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:16,981
Because I'm not the one
who keeps asking Freddy
60
00:02:16,982 --> 00:02:18,621
if he's been working out.
61
00:02:18,622 --> 00:02:20,088
Like a rock!
62
00:02:21,123 --> 00:02:22,591
You know what, though? It's good.
63
00:02:22,592 --> 00:02:23,759
It's good.
64
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,995
I mean, my family's far away
65
00:02:25,996 --> 00:02:28,130
and I haven't been
invited anywhere else,
66
00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:29,999
so may as well make some extra money.
67
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,334
You know, for a therapist.
68
00:02:33,870 --> 00:02:36,639
Oh, God, Felix's mom just landed.
69
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,973
More reinbeers, Maureen.
70
00:02:40,075 --> 00:02:42,744
I'm going to need to get Blitzened.
71
00:02:44,246 --> 00:02:47,348
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
72
00:02:54,156 --> 00:02:57,226
Ho, ho, no.
73
00:02:57,227 --> 00:03:00,196
Good tidings, fine sir, on
this Christmas Eve's eve.
74
00:03:00,197 --> 00:03:03,265
You think you made this
place Christmas-y enough?
75
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,532
Not yet.
76
00:03:08,571 --> 00:03:12,174
There's only one place
I'm putting these antlers,
77
00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:14,509
and it will not make you jolly.
78
00:03:15,744 --> 00:03:17,646
Oh, get in the spirit, Oscar.
79
00:03:17,647 --> 00:03:19,470
Mother has entrusted me
with hosting Christmas
80
00:03:19,471 --> 00:03:22,318
for the very first time, and
she has set the bar very high.
81
00:03:22,319 --> 00:03:25,688
Take a look at this photo album
of the Ungers' Christmas past.
82
00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:27,309
You simply must see my mother's buche.
83
00:03:30,826 --> 00:03:32,727
I must not see that.
84
00:03:33,729 --> 00:03:35,764
It's a cake, Oscar... the buche de Noel,
85
00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:37,533
the centerpiece of
the Unger family table,
86
00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:39,637
and this year I have made
it for the very first time.
87
00:03:39,638 --> 00:03:40,804
Come and look!
88
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:46,341
Okay, but only because it's
in the same direction as beer.
89
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:48,844
And here it is.
90
00:03:48,845 --> 00:03:50,246
Mmm, chocolate.
91
00:03:50,247 --> 00:03:51,412
No touching!
92
00:03:53,522 --> 00:03:54,883
Please step out of sneezing range.
93
00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:56,252
How do I know how far...
94
00:03:56,253 --> 00:03:58,520
- There's tape on the floor.
- Okay.
95
00:03:58,521 --> 00:04:01,890
Every year my mother would
lock herself in the kitchen
96
00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:03,459
to create the perfect buche de Noel,
97
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,893
and this year,
98
00:04:04,894 --> 00:04:07,129
after two sleepless nights
and one bracing rum toddy,
99
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:10,532
I have finally made one
that is worthy of her.
100
00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:12,568
Felix, I know you want
to impress your mother,
101
00:04:12,569 --> 00:04:15,971
but you've got to dial down the crazy.
102
00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:17,806
She's here.
103
00:04:17,807 --> 00:04:19,440
Mother's here!
104
00:04:21,977 --> 00:04:24,612
He dialed it the wrong way.
105
00:04:25,447 --> 00:04:26,148
Mother!
106
00:04:26,149 --> 00:04:27,983
Fe-Fe!
107
00:04:27,984 --> 00:04:29,718
Oh!
108
00:04:29,719 --> 00:04:31,720
Thank you for hosting your old mother
109
00:04:31,721 --> 00:04:33,322
while her house is being remodeled.
110
00:04:33,323 --> 00:04:35,426
We're thrilled that you're
here. Welcome to our home.
111
00:04:35,427 --> 00:04:38,060
It looks lovely.
112
00:04:38,061 --> 00:04:41,295
I'm so glad you took it to heart
when I said not to make a fuss.
113
00:04:43,699 --> 00:04:45,067
Hello, Oscar.
114
00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:47,969
You don't look any worse
than the last time I saw you.
115
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,139
Hello, Meredith.
116
00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:52,141
Oh, please, call me Mrs. Unger.
117
00:04:52,142 --> 00:04:55,377
What should I offer myself to drink?
118
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,311
Shot of vodka? All right.
119
00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:00,115
I'm sorry that Randy is stuck in Vermont
120
00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:01,450
and won't be able to join us.
121
00:05:01,451 --> 00:05:04,153
Yes, unfortunately he had
to oversee the tile placement
122
00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:06,055
on our kitchen remodel.
123
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,123
He's such a perfectionist.
124
00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:10,159
Randy is a general contractor
that my mother hired
125
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,796
who then installed himself
in my mother's bedroom.
126
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:17,232
Make it a double? All right.
127
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:20,502
Felix, I wasn't expecting you
to make the Christmas village.
128
00:05:20,503 --> 00:05:23,405
No wonder you didn't
have time for a haircut.
129
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,507
I know, look at me.
130
00:05:25,508 --> 00:05:27,809
I'm like one of the Grateful Deads.
131
00:05:28,777 --> 00:05:30,779
What's this?
132
00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:31,814
Open it.
133
00:05:31,815 --> 00:05:33,649
It wouldn't be Christmas
if I didn't make
134
00:05:33,650 --> 00:05:35,784
my famous buche de Noel.
135
00:05:35,785 --> 00:05:37,853
Hey, what a coincidence,
136
00:05:37,854 --> 00:05:38,987
Felix made...
137
00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:40,622
sure that there's
plenty of counter space
138
00:05:40,623 --> 00:05:42,790
in the kitchen for your masterpiece.
139
00:05:44,793 --> 00:05:47,830
Ah, perfect as usual.
140
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:49,831
I will find a home
for it in the kitchen.
141
00:05:52,668 --> 00:05:55,270
So, small talk.
142
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,405
No, thank you.
143
00:05:56,406 --> 00:05:57,572
All right.
144
00:06:04,179 --> 00:06:05,914
You okay?
145
00:06:05,915 --> 00:06:07,616
Hmm? Never better.
146
00:06:19,561 --> 00:06:20,561
Uh...
147
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:23,732
What are you doing to your cake?
148
00:06:23,733 --> 00:06:25,734
We don't need mine, do we?
149
00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,136
Mother made a better one.
150
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,371
Now I just need to work harder
to show that I am capable
151
00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:30,915
of hosting the Unger family Christmas,
152
00:06:30,916 --> 00:06:32,441
so put on your antlers.
153
00:06:32,442 --> 00:06:33,275
Felix, you really...
154
00:06:33,276 --> 00:06:34,275
Antlers!
155
00:06:49,244 --> 00:06:52,580
He shoved a perfectly good
cake down the garbage disposal?
156
00:06:52,581 --> 00:06:54,415
I've never met Felix's mom.
157
00:06:54,416 --> 00:06:58,119
I've only seen that
picture of them at his prom.
158
00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,420
I feel so bad for him.
159
00:06:59,421 --> 00:07:02,457
She keeps knocking him
down and he keeps smiling.
160
00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:04,259
I've got this weird feeling.
161
00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:07,561
Like I... want to help him?
162
00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:09,831
What do you want to do?
163
00:07:09,832 --> 00:07:11,366
Well, just support him.
164
00:07:11,367 --> 00:07:13,868
When she knocks him down,
I'll lift him back up.
165
00:07:13,869 --> 00:07:16,371
I'll let him know that I'm on his side.
166
00:07:16,372 --> 00:07:18,038
You mean like be his friend?
167
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,609
Oh, God, this is going to be horrible.
168
00:07:21,610 --> 00:07:23,111
Sorry, Oscar.
169
00:07:23,112 --> 00:07:24,712
Hey, why don't you guys come with me?
170
00:07:24,713 --> 00:07:26,247
It's going to be super fun.
171
00:07:26,248 --> 00:07:28,082
You just said it was
going to be horrible.
172
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:29,951
Come on, guys, please?
173
00:07:29,952 --> 00:07:32,554
No, we're going to be down
here at the party, partying.
174
00:07:32,555 --> 00:07:34,155
But I need Unger buffers!
175
00:07:34,156 --> 00:07:36,090
They're going to try
176
00:07:36,091 --> 00:07:39,794
to pack every minute with fun
activities that aren't fun.
177
00:07:39,795 --> 00:07:40,962
How do you know?
178
00:07:40,963 --> 00:07:42,763
He gave me a program.
179
00:07:44,432 --> 00:07:45,800
Hi, guys.
180
00:07:45,801 --> 00:07:47,202
Emily,
181
00:07:47,203 --> 00:07:50,104
I hate the idea that you
have to work on Christmas Eve.
182
00:07:50,105 --> 00:07:52,340
Oh, Fred, thank you.
183
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,609
Oh, I don't hate it enough
to give you the night off.
184
00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:57,545
But I got you something
that I think will make it
185
00:07:57,546 --> 00:07:59,714
a little more fun.
186
00:07:59,715 --> 00:08:01,282
Why be a waitress
187
00:08:01,283 --> 00:08:04,384
when you can be Santa's little helper?
188
00:08:05,987 --> 00:08:06,955
Huh?
189
00:08:06,956 --> 00:08:08,323
It's a rental,
190
00:08:08,324 --> 00:08:09,657
so take it off before you mop.
191
00:08:09,658 --> 00:08:12,994
I'm letting the cleaning
crew go home early.
192
00:08:12,995 --> 00:08:14,729
How thoughtful.
193
00:08:14,730 --> 00:08:16,430
Well, it's Christmas.
194
00:08:20,368 --> 00:08:21,803
♪ I really can't stay ♪
195
00:08:21,804 --> 00:08:23,504
♪ But baby, it's cold outside ♪
196
00:08:23,505 --> 00:08:25,206
♪ I've got to go 'way ♪
197
00:08:25,207 --> 00:08:27,208
♪ But baby, it's cold outside ♪
198
00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:29,310
♪ This evening has been ♪
199
00:08:29,311 --> 00:08:31,279
♪ So very nice ♪
200
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,816
♪ I'll hold your hands,
they're just like ice ♪
201
00:08:34,817 --> 00:08:37,050
They are really good.
202
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:41,289
It's just a weird thing
for a mother and son to do.
203
00:08:41,290 --> 00:08:43,091
♪ ...floor ♪
204
00:08:43,092 --> 00:08:44,658
That's his mother?!
205
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:46,995
♪ But baby... ♪
206
00:08:46,996 --> 00:08:52,499
♪ It's cold outside. ♪
207
00:08:57,739 --> 00:08:59,207
Bravo.
208
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:00,508
Bravo.
209
00:09:00,509 --> 00:09:02,543
Do we deserve the applause, Felix?
210
00:09:02,544 --> 00:09:04,912
Our harmonies were not
as good as last year.
211
00:09:04,913 --> 00:09:06,581
Were you singing from your diaphragm?
212
00:09:06,582 --> 00:09:08,750
I'm sure that I wasn't.
213
00:09:08,751 --> 00:09:10,051
Apologies, everyone.
214
00:09:10,052 --> 00:09:11,586
I rescind my bow.
215
00:09:11,587 --> 00:09:12,687
Encore!
216
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:13,588
You know, encore!
217
00:09:13,589 --> 00:09:14,489
- No, no.
- Nope.
218
00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:16,323
She touched his butt.
219
00:09:18,693 --> 00:09:21,361
Well, if I may, I shall go
and prepare the mulled cider.
220
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,899
I have been experimenting
this year with the addition
221
00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:26,567
of nutmeg.
222
00:09:26,568 --> 00:09:29,369
Sounds delicious, if
it were Thanksgiving.
223
00:09:30,605 --> 00:09:32,373
You're right.
224
00:09:32,374 --> 00:09:34,609
Nutmeg is a November spice.
225
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:37,412
How foolish of me.
226
00:09:37,413 --> 00:09:39,280
Keep her busy.
227
00:09:39,281 --> 00:09:40,381
Please don't leave us.
228
00:09:40,382 --> 00:09:41,648
Ah!
229
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:45,787
So, uh, what was Felix like as a boy?
230
00:09:45,788 --> 00:09:47,322
Very bright.
231
00:09:47,323 --> 00:09:49,857
He self-potty-trained at 13 months,
232
00:09:49,858 --> 00:09:53,193
and at 15 months learned
to clean that potty.
233
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:57,565
Well, that's a corner
piece to the puzzle.
234
00:09:57,566 --> 00:10:01,250
They say there's a limit to how
long you should breastfeed...
235
00:10:01,251 --> 00:10:03,303
- Oh, God.
- Uh, ring, ring... I better get this.
236
00:10:04,372 --> 00:10:06,274
Hello? What?
237
00:10:06,275 --> 00:10:08,409
Cat in the tree? Which branch?
238
00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:10,410
The highest one? I'll be right there.
239
00:10:14,015 --> 00:10:15,450
What was that about?
240
00:10:15,451 --> 00:10:16,884
I don't know.
241
00:10:16,885 --> 00:10:19,454
But I wish I'd thought of it.
242
00:10:19,455 --> 00:10:21,589
One more clove.
243
00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:24,325
And... still not quite right.
244
00:10:24,326 --> 00:10:25,326
Focus, Fe-Fe!
245
00:10:26,395 --> 00:10:28,429
I'm sure it's going to be fine.
246
00:10:28,430 --> 00:10:29,630
No, it's not fine.
247
00:10:29,631 --> 00:10:30,992
And you know what else isn't fine?
248
00:10:30,993 --> 00:10:32,856
I have been hearing a
lot of criticism tonight.
249
00:10:32,857 --> 00:10:34,602
Oh, good, you're aware of it.
250
00:10:34,603 --> 00:10:35,870
How could I not be?
251
00:10:35,871 --> 00:10:37,494
You've contradicted
Mother at every turn!
252
00:10:37,495 --> 00:10:40,775
Me? I'm not contradicting
her, I'm complimenting you.
253
00:10:40,776 --> 00:10:42,410
She's the critical one.
254
00:10:42,411 --> 00:10:43,578
She just has high standards.
255
00:10:43,579 --> 00:10:44,846
You would not understand that,
256
00:10:44,847 --> 00:10:48,483
as you are a person who
drinks hot dog water.
257
00:10:48,484 --> 00:10:53,521
Well, I'm not just going to
pour it down the drain, man.
258
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:55,356
Just don't drive yourself crazy
259
00:10:55,357 --> 00:10:57,825
for someone who's never
going to appreciate it.
260
00:10:57,826 --> 00:10:59,449
How dare you insult
that wonderful woman?
261
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,028
She made me the man that I am today.
262
00:11:01,029 --> 00:11:03,363
That's what I'm saying! It's her fault!
263
00:11:06,534 --> 00:11:09,636
I shouldn't even be
wearing pants right now!
264
00:11:11,973 --> 00:11:14,236
Here is the local haberdashery
right here on Main Street.
265
00:11:14,237 --> 00:11:14,876
And who's that?
266
00:11:14,877 --> 00:11:16,744
Oh, it's that lovable scamp Mr. Wilson
267
00:11:16,745 --> 00:11:18,379
having a hot cocoa
268
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:20,882
with Miss Clara, the town librarian.
269
00:11:20,883 --> 00:11:23,950
Hey, yeah, he is!
270
00:11:25,486 --> 00:11:26,721
Speaking of cocoa,
271
00:11:26,722 --> 00:11:28,745
I don't see one black
person in this whole village.
272
00:11:28,746 --> 00:11:30,358
You see, Felix,
273
00:11:30,359 --> 00:11:32,427
that's the problem with
store-bought figurines.
274
00:11:32,428 --> 00:11:34,162
I hand-paint mine.
275
00:11:34,163 --> 00:11:36,364
It leads to a more inclusive village.
276
00:11:36,365 --> 00:11:40,367
Thank you, Mother, for
inspiring me to do even better.
277
00:11:41,569 --> 00:11:43,037
Hey.
278
00:11:43,038 --> 00:11:44,404
Hey, Emily.
279
00:11:49,444 --> 00:11:50,878
I needed a little break from work.
280
00:11:50,879 --> 00:11:52,647
That party is already getting wild.
281
00:11:52,648 --> 00:11:54,515
Oh, hi!
282
00:11:54,516 --> 00:11:55,783
I'm Emily.
283
00:11:55,784 --> 00:11:58,553
Oh, yes, the barmaid who thinks
284
00:11:58,554 --> 00:12:00,320
she's too good for my son.
285
00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:03,357
Well, look at that! Break's over!
286
00:12:03,358 --> 00:12:05,226
Back to work I go.
287
00:12:05,227 --> 00:12:06,594
Hold the elevator, Emily!
288
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:07,795
I've got to get to work too!
289
00:12:07,796 --> 00:12:09,230
You work here.
290
00:12:09,231 --> 00:12:10,231
I quit.
291
00:12:10,232 --> 00:12:11,531
Happy holidays!
292
00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:14,202
Well, too bad the
girls are going to miss
293
00:12:14,203 --> 00:12:15,803
making gingerbread houses.
294
00:12:15,804 --> 00:12:18,739
This year's theme is
mid-century modern.
295
00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:20,340
Yes!
296
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,677
I'll get the candy adornments.
297
00:12:22,678 --> 00:12:24,579
Could someone move my buche de Noel?
298
00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:26,414
Oh, sure... tell me where it's parked.
299
00:12:26,415 --> 00:12:29,116
She's talking about a cake, man.
300
00:12:29,117 --> 00:12:32,086
Good Lord, be careful with it, Oscar.
301
00:12:32,087 --> 00:12:33,820
Muscles, help him.
302
00:12:37,358 --> 00:12:39,560
Show-off.
303
00:12:39,561 --> 00:12:41,963
How long do we have to stay?
304
00:12:41,964 --> 00:12:43,898
You know we're going to miss Santa.
305
00:12:43,899 --> 00:12:45,299
I can't leave.
306
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:47,767
Felix may not see it, but he
needs my support right now.
307
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:49,704
What's that?
308
00:12:49,705 --> 00:12:50,705
It's a receipt.
309
00:12:50,706 --> 00:12:52,907
Here, give me that.
310
00:12:52,908 --> 00:12:54,742
Oh, my God!
311
00:12:54,743 --> 00:12:56,811
She bought this cake!
312
00:12:56,812 --> 00:12:58,513
Do you know what this means?
313
00:12:58,514 --> 00:13:00,114
She gets the biggest piece?
314
00:13:00,115 --> 00:13:03,284
No, she told Felix she made it.
315
00:13:03,285 --> 00:13:06,187
So she works at a bakery.
316
00:13:06,188 --> 00:13:09,090
No, she lied to Felix about it.
317
00:13:09,091 --> 00:13:10,825
So this is my chance to show him
318
00:13:10,826 --> 00:13:13,127
that she's not perfect so
he can stop trying to be.
319
00:13:13,128 --> 00:13:14,729
He'll be so much happier.
320
00:13:14,730 --> 00:13:16,197
Great! Show it to him!
321
00:13:16,198 --> 00:13:17,298
I can't.
322
00:13:17,299 --> 00:13:18,866
He'll get mad at me.
323
00:13:18,867 --> 00:13:21,001
He needs to find it for himself.
324
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,772
I can't believe I'm asking you this,
325
00:13:24,773 --> 00:13:26,806
but do you have any ideas?
326
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,744
I do.
327
00:13:29,745 --> 00:13:31,044
Follow me.
328
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,317
Where are you going?
329
00:13:36,318 --> 00:13:38,085
Oh, I'm going to Langford's.
330
00:13:38,086 --> 00:13:39,619
That was my idea.
331
00:13:40,488 --> 00:13:41,422
Bye, Felix.
332
00:13:41,423 --> 00:13:43,256
Bye, Mrs. Felix!
333
00:13:44,759 --> 00:13:48,062
Well, I see our friends prefer
to carouse in a common tavern.
334
00:13:48,063 --> 00:13:49,196
Too bad for them.
335
00:13:49,197 --> 00:13:50,697
Poor bastards.
336
00:13:51,933 --> 00:13:53,967
All that beer and happiness.
337
00:13:55,403 --> 00:13:56,504
Where's your mom?
338
00:13:56,505 --> 00:13:57,805
She went to go call Randy.
339
00:13:57,806 --> 00:13:59,874
But we could get started
on the candy cane carports.
340
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:02,476
That is if you still
want to participate.
341
00:14:02,477 --> 00:14:03,711
Wait a minute,
342
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,880
is the star on top of the
Christmas tree crooked?
343
00:14:05,881 --> 00:14:07,415
What?
344
00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:09,584
My mistake.
345
00:14:09,585 --> 00:14:11,284
Look, litter!
346
00:14:15,389 --> 00:14:17,992
It's a receipt.
347
00:14:17,993 --> 00:14:19,159
From a bakery.
348
00:14:21,062 --> 00:14:22,697
For a buche de Noel.
349
00:14:22,698 --> 00:14:24,631
What?!
350
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:29,003
But that would mean that Mother
didn't make the cake herself.
351
00:14:29,004 --> 00:14:31,706
So, clearly she's not perfect.
352
00:14:31,707 --> 00:14:34,075
Which means you can stop trying to be.
353
00:14:34,076 --> 00:14:36,042
You must be so relieved.
354
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,946
Last year's buche... exactly the same.
355
00:14:41,616 --> 00:14:43,684
And the year before that...
356
00:14:43,685 --> 00:14:46,153
And the year before that.
357
00:14:46,154 --> 00:14:48,456
How enlightening.
358
00:14:48,457 --> 00:14:49,656
Hmm.
359
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,195
Well, I did it.
360
00:14:54,196 --> 00:14:57,064
I've saved Christmas.
361
00:15:08,943 --> 00:15:11,044
Tough week for cakes.
362
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:17,985
Randy says the remodel is back on track.
363
00:15:17,986 --> 00:15:19,820
Felix, what are you doing?
364
00:15:19,821 --> 00:15:23,556
Oh, just destroying the proof
that my life is based on a lie!
365
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:30,430
Family and holidays, huh?
366
00:15:46,596 --> 00:15:48,680
Felix, what are you doing to my cake?
367
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,113
Your cake?
368
00:15:50,114 --> 00:15:53,349
It was store bought!
369
00:15:55,218 --> 00:15:57,353
I don't know what you mean.
370
00:15:58,855 --> 00:16:01,357
Well, I'm feeling a
little third wheel-y.
371
00:16:02,225 --> 00:16:04,493
And I'm feeling a little insulted.
372
00:16:07,264 --> 00:16:10,434
Well, does this look familiar?
373
00:16:10,435 --> 00:16:14,237
It's a receipt for one buche de Noel.
374
00:16:14,238 --> 00:16:16,773
Fine, my kitchen wasn't
in working condition
375
00:16:16,774 --> 00:16:19,242
because of the remodel, so
this year I bought the cake.
376
00:16:19,243 --> 00:16:20,844
This year?
377
00:16:20,845 --> 00:16:23,981
Well, let's take a little
stroll down memory lane,
378
00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:26,649
with a sharp left on betrayal boulevard!
379
00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:29,118
Bought.
380
00:16:30,721 --> 00:16:32,321
Bought.
381
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:35,325
Bought.
382
00:16:35,326 --> 00:16:37,594
All right, I didn't make the cakes.
383
00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:40,304
Now can we move on to
our gingerbread houses?
384
00:16:40,305 --> 00:16:42,273
Listen, while I am in
no way responsible...
385
00:16:42,274 --> 00:16:43,941
Sit down, Oscar! It's craft time!
386
00:16:43,942 --> 00:16:45,943
All right.
387
00:16:45,944 --> 00:16:47,945
Mother, you owe me an explanation.
388
00:16:47,946 --> 00:16:50,581
I don't know why you're
making such a fuss.
389
00:16:50,582 --> 00:16:51,649
It's just a cake.
390
00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:53,117
It's not a cake, it's a lie.
391
00:16:53,118 --> 00:16:54,741
What else have you
lied to me about, hmm?
392
00:16:54,742 --> 00:16:56,287
Nothing, what are you talking about?
393
00:16:56,288 --> 00:16:59,022
Put the gumdrops down.
394
00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:02,026
You hid this for 40 years.
395
00:17:02,027 --> 00:17:04,228
What other flaws have
you been hiding from me?
396
00:17:04,229 --> 00:17:06,864
Why is it so important
to you that I have flaws?
397
00:17:06,865 --> 00:17:08,065
Because it would be nice to know
398
00:17:08,066 --> 00:17:09,433
that you are an actual human being
399
00:17:09,434 --> 00:17:10,795
and not just some impossible ideal
400
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,019
that I could never live up to.
401
00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:14,326
Fine, you want a flaw?
402
00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:17,107
I'm not the president of my garden club,
403
00:17:17,108 --> 00:17:18,341
I'm just a member.
404
00:17:20,344 --> 00:17:21,846
That's not so bad.
405
00:17:21,847 --> 00:17:23,646
And I don't have a master's degree.
406
00:17:24,682 --> 00:17:26,585
And I know you think I
clean the house myself...
407
00:17:26,586 --> 00:17:28,519
Oh, my God!
408
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:29,753
But when you were at school...
409
00:17:29,754 --> 00:17:30,654
Don't say it!
410
00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:32,590
I brought in a maid!
411
00:17:32,591 --> 00:17:33,990
No!
412
00:17:35,926 --> 00:17:37,394
Don't you see? If I'd known about
413
00:17:37,395 --> 00:17:39,778
some of these flaws then maybe
I could have accepted my own.
414
00:17:39,779 --> 00:17:42,600
Do you have any idea how
hard it is to be so...
415
00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:43,667
so...
416
00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:45,668
Anal? Sorry, continue.
417
00:17:46,845 --> 00:17:49,006
You're the reason that I
have to vacuum north to south.
418
00:17:49,007 --> 00:17:50,641
Why I alphabetize all the canned goods.
419
00:17:50,642 --> 00:17:52,910
Why I won't let Oscar put
his bare feet up on the couch.
420
00:17:52,911 --> 00:17:56,079
Wearing socks makes my feet sweat.
421
00:17:58,382 --> 00:17:59,894
I'm sorry, Mother, this
is a lot to process.
422
00:17:59,895 --> 00:18:01,728
I think, maybe, perhaps
you should go home
423
00:18:01,729 --> 00:18:03,163
and spend Christmas with Randy.
424
00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:04,531
Well, I can't really do that.
425
00:18:04,532 --> 00:18:05,365
Why not?
426
00:18:05,366 --> 00:18:07,734
Randy left me six months ago.
427
00:18:07,735 --> 00:18:09,569
What?
428
00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:11,614
He told me I was too judgmental,
429
00:18:11,615 --> 00:18:13,739
but he's just the type of
person who thinks like that.
430
00:18:15,142 --> 00:18:17,144
So he's not doing the remodel?
431
00:18:17,145 --> 00:18:18,512
There is no remodel.
432
00:18:18,513 --> 00:18:20,580
I made that up as an excuse to come here
433
00:18:20,581 --> 00:18:22,149
so you wouldn't find out I'm alone.
434
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:23,984
Mother, why did you
hide all of this from me?
435
00:18:23,985 --> 00:18:26,653
I wanted to set a good example
436
00:18:26,654 --> 00:18:28,722
so you'd strive to be the very best.
437
00:18:28,723 --> 00:18:31,825
I'm sorry, Felix.
438
00:18:31,826 --> 00:18:34,694
I never wanted to disappoint
you, but now you know.
439
00:18:34,695 --> 00:18:38,564
Your perfect mother is
actually a bit of a mess.
440
00:18:41,735 --> 00:18:46,022
Well, if there's one thing
I've learned from Oscar,
441
00:18:46,023 --> 00:18:49,559
it's that a little mess
isn't the end of the world.
442
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,128
Thank you, Felix.
443
00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:55,197
You're the only perfect
thing I've ever done.
444
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,668
Oh...
445
00:18:58,669 --> 00:18:59,835
I shouldn't, I'm filthy.
446
00:19:02,171 --> 00:19:03,972
Oh!
447
00:19:06,175 --> 00:19:08,645
Oh, now we're both a mess.
448
00:19:08,646 --> 00:19:11,546
Well, I know a place
you'll fit right in.
449
00:19:12,615 --> 00:19:15,351
♪ Joy to the world ♪
450
00:19:15,352 --> 00:19:17,720
- ♪ The Lord is... ♪
- ♪ Our fries have come ♪
451
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:20,290
- ♪ Let earth receive... ♪
- Stop stealing my fries, Teddy,
452
00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:23,359
unless you want me to kick
this curled foot up your butt.
453
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:24,961
And ring the bell.
454
00:19:24,962 --> 00:19:26,629
What fun!
455
00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:28,331
Yes, it's like that lively party
456
00:19:28,332 --> 00:19:30,365
down on the lower decks of the Titanic.
457
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:33,469
Ho, ho, ho!
458
00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:34,737
Welcome, Felix.
459
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,006
And who is your lovely date?
460
00:19:37,007 --> 00:19:39,275
Father Christmas, this
is mother Meredith.
461
00:19:39,276 --> 00:19:43,313
Oh, you have a smudge of
frosting on your cheek.
462
00:19:43,314 --> 00:19:45,181
I'm sorry, I'm a mess.
463
00:19:45,182 --> 00:19:47,617
Oh, I think it's cute.
464
00:19:47,618 --> 00:19:50,252
I'm Fred, by the way.
465
00:19:51,154 --> 00:19:53,122
This is just a costume.
466
00:19:53,123 --> 00:19:54,824
Would you like some eggnog?
467
00:19:54,825 --> 00:19:56,759
It's 90 percent rum.
468
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,194
I'd be a hundred percent delighted.
469
00:20:02,498 --> 00:20:03,932
It was Fred the whole time?
470
00:20:05,935 --> 00:20:08,972
Well, Oscar, me inadvertently
finding that receipt
471
00:20:08,973 --> 00:20:10,773
has brought me and
Mother closer together,
472
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:13,443
so thank you for meddling.
473
00:20:13,444 --> 00:20:16,379
Consider that my Christmas gift to you.
474
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:19,147
Because I didn't get you anything else.
475
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:22,719
- Merry Christmas, buddy.
- Merry Christmas.
476
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,120
Okay, everyone!
477
00:20:24,121 --> 00:20:27,857
We have printed up all the
unpaid bar tabs for the year.
478
00:20:27,858 --> 00:20:29,659
Whosever tab Santa pulls
479
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,828
will have all of their debts forgiven.
480
00:20:34,098 --> 00:20:35,964
- Santa?
- Oh.
481
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:38,501
Oh, damn it,
482
00:20:38,502 --> 00:20:40,502
it's Oscar!
483
00:20:41,704 --> 00:20:44,072
It's a Christmas miracle.
484
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,624
This is for you, Fe-Fe.
485
00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:55,859
Oh, thank you, Mother...
what lovely wrapping.
486
00:20:55,860 --> 00:20:57,727
Uh, Felix,
487
00:20:57,728 --> 00:21:00,597
you don't have to worry about
saving the paper anymore.
488
00:21:00,598 --> 00:21:01,665
Just let yourself go!
489
00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:04,701
Rip into it!
490
00:21:04,702 --> 00:21:05,702
Oh, yeah!
491
00:21:06,704 --> 00:21:08,338
Oh, look at me, I'm a wild man!
492
00:21:08,339 --> 00:21:10,674
Feels good to not be so uptight, huh?
493
00:21:10,675 --> 00:21:13,577
That's what I've been saying, buddy.
494
00:21:13,578 --> 00:21:14,845
No, sir! No, sir!
495
00:21:14,846 --> 00:21:15,978
He's an animal!
496
00:21:18,095 --> 00:21:24,995
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