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1
00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:05,393
Nice shot, Tyler.
2
00:00:05,394 --> 00:00:07,813
Now let's storm the mothership.
3
00:00:07,814 --> 00:00:10,023
I don't care if you have
a math test tomorrow.
4
00:00:10,024 --> 00:00:12,624
Tell your mom this is war!
5
00:00:13,894 --> 00:00:15,313
Hello, Oscar.
6
00:00:15,314 --> 00:00:16,683
Since we left, have you moved
7
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:19,433
any part of your body
other than your thumbs?
8
00:00:19,434 --> 00:00:22,473
That's a pretty personal
question there, Felix.
9
00:00:22,474 --> 00:00:24,353
You know, I-I just remembered,
10
00:00:24,354 --> 00:00:26,377
I need to pop back down
to the lobby for something.
11
00:00:26,378 --> 00:00:27,563
Felix,
12
00:00:27,564 --> 00:00:30,143
someone will clean those
smudges off the elevator buttons.
13
00:00:30,144 --> 00:00:31,273
Well,
14
00:00:31,274 --> 00:00:33,624
you know my theory...
15
00:00:34,524 --> 00:00:36,374
"If you seen it, clean it."
16
00:00:37,434 --> 00:00:39,523
Well, do you need any
help? I can come with.
17
00:00:39,524 --> 00:00:41,834
Don't be silly. Stay with
Oscar... you can chat.
18
00:00:55,144 --> 00:00:56,973
I don't really get these games.
19
00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:00,023
So, what, you just run around
shooting anything that moves?
20
00:01:00,024 --> 00:01:02,733
Seems like you get it.
21
00:01:02,734 --> 00:01:04,933
So what's this one about?
22
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:07,563
Killing aliens.
23
00:01:07,564 --> 00:01:09,414
Why do they have to die?
24
00:01:10,684 --> 00:01:13,143
I don't know. They just do.
25
00:01:13,144 --> 00:01:15,183
So you're-you're invading some planet
26
00:01:15,184 --> 00:01:17,473
just to destroy the native race?
27
00:01:17,474 --> 00:01:19,874
Again, you seem to understand
the game pretty perfectly.
28
00:01:22,474 --> 00:01:23,973
Oh great, Emily.
29
00:01:23,974 --> 00:01:25,853
Thanks for making me die.
30
00:01:25,854 --> 00:01:28,103
Sorry, Tyler.
31
00:01:28,104 --> 00:01:29,454
Yeah, some girl.
32
00:01:33,144 --> 00:01:34,563
Is that my crème brûlée?
33
00:01:34,564 --> 00:01:35,893
I don't know what it is.
34
00:01:35,894 --> 00:01:37,074
It just said "Emily" on it.
35
00:01:38,144 --> 00:01:40,063
Oscar, that's so inconsiderate.
36
00:01:40,064 --> 00:01:41,473
No, what's inconsiderate
37
00:01:41,474 --> 00:01:43,473
is distracting the only hero
38
00:01:43,474 --> 00:01:45,773
that can save the galaxy.
39
00:01:45,774 --> 00:01:47,893
Oh. I am sorry for ruining your game
40
00:01:47,894 --> 00:01:49,893
made for 13-year-olds.
41
00:01:49,894 --> 00:01:51,973
Thirteen...
42
00:01:51,974 --> 00:01:53,813
and over.
43
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,933
What is going on?
44
00:01:55,934 --> 00:01:58,023
Oscar ate the crème
brûlée that I was saving.
45
00:01:58,024 --> 00:02:00,103
Which you left in my
fridge, in my apartment.
46
00:02:00,104 --> 00:02:02,813
Not a good choice.
47
00:02:02,814 --> 00:02:04,233
For God's sake, you are the two
48
00:02:04,234 --> 00:02:05,893
most important people in my life.
49
00:02:05,894 --> 00:02:07,654
I wish that you could
just be better friends.
50
00:02:07,655 --> 00:02:09,198
We don't exactly have a lot in common.
51
00:02:09,199 --> 00:02:10,313
She's right.
52
00:02:10,314 --> 00:02:13,523
Except for pasta and crème brûlée.
53
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,853
You ate my pasta, too?
54
00:02:15,854 --> 00:02:19,733
Well, I wasn't going
to start with dessert.
55
00:02:19,734 --> 00:02:21,893
How do you know that you
don't have anything in common
56
00:02:21,894 --> 00:02:24,433
when you've never spent
any quality time together.
57
00:02:24,434 --> 00:02:25,893
I just had a brilliant idea.
58
00:02:25,894 --> 00:02:28,853
Emily and I have dinner
reservations for tonight,
59
00:02:28,854 --> 00:02:30,853
but I think that you
two should go instead.
60
00:02:30,854 --> 00:02:33,643
Oh, no, no.
61
00:02:33,644 --> 00:02:35,204
Oh, come on, if you guys became friends
62
00:02:35,205 --> 00:02:37,068
then the three of us can
all hang out together.
63
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:37,853
What do you say?
64
00:02:37,854 --> 00:02:39,893
Please? For me?
65
00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:42,023
For you? Okay.
66
00:02:42,024 --> 00:02:43,084
Oscar?
67
00:02:43,085 --> 00:02:44,143
For you?
68
00:02:44,144 --> 00:02:45,893
Not okay.
69
00:02:45,894 --> 00:02:49,313
Well, then you leave me no other choice.
70
00:02:49,314 --> 00:02:51,273
Remember when you forgot my birthday
71
00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:53,103
and you gave me this?
72
00:02:53,104 --> 00:02:55,563
"Good for one free favor."
73
00:02:55,564 --> 00:02:58,353
"Favor" spelled "e-r," by the way.
74
00:02:58,354 --> 00:03:00,313
I don't remember writing that.
75
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:03,034
"Even though I'm drunk,
this still counts."
76
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,733
Let me see that.
77
00:03:09,344 --> 00:03:13,224
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
78
00:03:14,144 --> 00:03:15,563
Hi.
79
00:03:15,564 --> 00:03:16,643
Ooh, don't you look nice
80
00:03:16,644 --> 00:03:18,643
for your big date with Oscar.
81
00:03:18,644 --> 00:03:20,063
It's not a date.
82
00:03:20,064 --> 00:03:23,063
It's a mandatory friendship summit.
83
00:03:24,524 --> 00:03:25,933
Come on, Oscar's not that bad.
84
00:03:25,934 --> 00:03:27,273
Yeah?
85
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,523
Yesterday he growled at me.
86
00:03:29,524 --> 00:03:31,603
Were you holding food?
87
00:03:31,604 --> 00:03:33,824
If you had food in your
hand, you could lose a finger.
88
00:03:35,104 --> 00:03:36,643
Hey, guys. Where's Oscar?
89
00:03:36,644 --> 00:03:38,393
He's getting ready for
his date with Emily.
90
00:03:38,394 --> 00:03:40,313
Ooh, dating both roommates?
91
00:03:40,314 --> 00:03:42,733
It's always the shy ones.
92
00:03:42,734 --> 00:03:44,393
Ooh, Teddy, could you do me a favor?
93
00:03:44,394 --> 00:03:45,733
Um, I would be so grateful
94
00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:47,237
if you could look this contract over.
95
00:03:47,238 --> 00:03:48,523
Sure. What's it for?
96
00:03:48,524 --> 00:03:49,563
Well, I just got offered
97
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,103
to do the voice-over
98
00:03:51,104 --> 00:03:52,727
for a Brooklyn Bridge Carpet commercial.
99
00:03:52,728 --> 00:03:53,523
Oh, my God.
100
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:54,169
Congratulations.
101
00:03:54,170 --> 00:03:54,813
Oh, thanks.
102
00:03:54,814 --> 00:03:56,433
They heard me on Oscar's show
103
00:03:56,434 --> 00:03:58,177
and they said my voice
was the perfect blend
104
00:03:58,178 --> 00:03:59,938
of spunk and crunk.
105
00:04:00,184 --> 00:04:01,954
- That's code for black.
- Mm-hmm.
106
00:04:03,434 --> 00:04:04,308
It shouldn't take too long.
107
00:04:04,309 --> 00:04:06,229
The producer said the
contract's pretty standard.
108
00:04:06,230 --> 00:04:07,333
Yeah, they always say that,
109
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,317
especially when they're
trying to screw you over.
110
00:04:09,318 --> 00:04:10,767
Yep, right here.
111
00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:12,527
A flat fee with no residuals or bumps?
112
00:04:12,528 --> 00:04:14,187
Bumps? What are bumps? I want bumps.
113
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:16,817
Absolutely. You're worth more than this.
114
00:04:16,818 --> 00:04:18,521
Just sit back and let
Teddy work his magic.
115
00:04:18,522 --> 00:04:21,150
- Oh! Teddy's going to work his magic.
- Yay.
116
00:04:21,151 --> 00:04:23,458
All right, let's get this over with.
117
00:04:24,528 --> 00:04:25,897
Oscar, tuck in your shirt.
118
00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:27,761
You can't eat foie gras
looking like a vagrant.
119
00:04:27,762 --> 00:04:28,937
Grown man. Grown man.
120
00:04:28,938 --> 00:04:31,530
- Are you sure that you can't come with?
- Yeah.
121
00:04:31,531 --> 00:04:33,187
No, tonight is not about me.
122
00:04:33,188 --> 00:04:37,817
It's about my bro and my girlfriend
123
00:04:37,818 --> 00:04:39,897
forming a beautiful friendship
124
00:04:39,898 --> 00:04:42,567
over the fatty liver
of a force-fed goose.
125
00:04:42,568 --> 00:04:44,727
Come on. Oh, wait, I want to get a shot.
126
00:04:44,728 --> 00:04:46,767
Just one. Ready?
127
00:04:46,768 --> 00:04:48,107
Okay. And here we go.
128
00:04:48,108 --> 00:04:50,668
Great, ah, hmm? Yeah.
129
00:04:51,608 --> 00:04:53,317
Smile.
130
00:04:53,318 --> 00:04:55,187
You're going to dinner, not a funeral.
131
00:04:55,188 --> 00:04:58,107
Night's young.
132
00:04:58,108 --> 00:04:59,931
Oh, great, action shot.
133
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,067
Look at that. There we go.
134
00:05:02,228 --> 00:05:04,078
Okay, and, give me a thumbs up.
135
00:05:05,478 --> 00:05:07,328
That's not a thumb.
136
00:05:16,028 --> 00:05:18,227
I think we're ready to order now.
137
00:05:18,228 --> 00:05:21,857
I will have whatever salad
you can eat the fastest.
138
00:05:21,858 --> 00:05:23,841
Yes, and what's that steak
you don't have to cook?
139
00:05:23,842 --> 00:05:25,942
Tartare, right? I'll have that.
140
00:05:26,318 --> 00:05:28,687
Actually, you don't have
to worry about ordering.
141
00:05:28,688 --> 00:05:31,328
Mr. Unger called and arranged
a tasting menu for you.
142
00:05:32,728 --> 00:05:34,857
11 courses.
143
00:05:34,858 --> 00:05:36,897
And he wanted me to tell you to,
144
00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:39,958
"Treat your taste buds
as you become best buds."
145
00:05:43,148 --> 00:05:45,267
He won't even let us order our own food?
146
00:05:45,268 --> 00:05:47,477
Oh, come on, he's not that bad.
147
00:05:50,898 --> 00:05:53,267
It's from Felix.
148
00:05:53,268 --> 00:05:55,817
"Don't fill up on bread."
149
00:05:57,174 --> 00:05:58,628
Oh.
150
00:05:59,978 --> 00:06:02,248
"Don't let Oscar fill up on bread."
151
00:06:03,438 --> 00:06:05,477
His heart is in the right place.
152
00:06:05,478 --> 00:06:06,901
He just wants us to become friends.
153
00:06:06,902 --> 00:06:08,857
No, he's a great guy.
154
00:06:08,858 --> 00:06:10,937
I just wish he wasn't so...
155
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,767
Controlling?
156
00:06:12,768 --> 00:06:14,357
Exactly.
157
00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:16,477
Can I tell you a secret?
158
00:06:16,478 --> 00:06:17,817
Is this about your snaggle-toe?
159
00:06:17,818 --> 00:06:19,078
'Cause Felix already told me.
160
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,897
No.
161
00:06:24,898 --> 00:06:28,187
Sometimes before he takes me
to these fancy restaurants,
162
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:31,357
I sneak down to Langford's
and I eat a bacon cheeseburger.
163
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,897
Really? I never pictured
you for a burger fan.
164
00:06:33,898 --> 00:06:35,977
Have you ever been to
Duffy's Tavern in the Village?
165
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,881
Where they name the
burgers after famous people?
166
00:06:37,882 --> 00:06:38,977
Yeah, I love that place.
167
00:06:38,978 --> 00:06:41,527
My favorite's the Sonny
Bono, because it's so big...
168
00:06:41,528 --> 00:06:42,857
You have to Cher.
169
00:06:42,858 --> 00:06:43,773
Yeah.
170
00:06:46,108 --> 00:06:48,317
Wrapped in bacon, covered in onions.
171
00:06:48,318 --> 00:06:50,607
Ah, it's dripping in
cheese. It's so good.
172
00:06:50,608 --> 00:06:53,187
Your first course: one raw sea urchin,
173
00:06:53,188 --> 00:06:56,128
finished with an
absinthe foam reduction.
174
00:07:00,108 --> 00:07:01,897
I think mine's still moving.
175
00:07:01,898 --> 00:07:02,897
Mine, too. Burger?
176
00:07:02,898 --> 00:07:03,918
Burger.
177
00:07:03,919 --> 00:07:04,937
Okay.
178
00:07:11,938 --> 00:07:13,273
You know what I mean?
179
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:15,483
Hi.
180
00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:16,357
Ho, ho.
181
00:07:16,358 --> 00:07:18,317
There they are.
182
00:07:18,318 --> 00:07:19,977
Tell me everything.
183
00:07:19,978 --> 00:07:21,578
I've never been more excited to find out
184
00:07:21,579 --> 00:07:23,202
what another man did with my girlfriend.
185
00:07:24,938 --> 00:07:28,107
We actually had a really nice time.
186
00:07:28,108 --> 00:07:29,937
What was your favorite course?
187
00:07:29,938 --> 00:07:31,317
Oh...
188
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,977
That is hard to say.
189
00:07:33,978 --> 00:07:36,227
Yes, they were all so good.
190
00:07:36,228 --> 00:07:40,027
I think maybe the... snails?
191
00:07:40,028 --> 00:07:42,168
The fifth-course snails or
the eighth-course snails?
192
00:07:45,528 --> 00:07:47,147
Eighth?
193
00:07:47,148 --> 00:07:50,147
There are no eighth-course
snails. What is going on?
194
00:07:50,148 --> 00:07:54,107
Okay, fine, we bailed on your
fancy place and got burgers.
195
00:07:54,108 --> 00:07:54,752
What?
196
00:07:54,753 --> 00:07:56,960
Yeah, but the important
thing is we had a great time.
197
00:07:56,961 --> 00:07:58,067
Just like you wanted us to.
198
00:07:58,068 --> 00:07:59,227
That was the goal.
199
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,397
But why are you so late,
200
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,027
if you just had hamburger sandwiches?
201
00:08:03,028 --> 00:08:06,107
Well, we were walking through Chinatown
202
00:08:06,108 --> 00:08:09,905
and we found this place
where you can play tic-tac-toe
203
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,168
against a real live chicken.
204
00:08:14,268 --> 00:08:15,567
They call it...
205
00:08:15,568 --> 00:08:17,368
Chick-Tac-Toe!
206
00:08:18,648 --> 00:08:20,567
You played tic-tac-toe with a chicken?
207
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,527
He's smarter than you'd think.
208
00:08:22,528 --> 00:08:24,727
You lost tic-tac-toe to a chicken?
209
00:08:24,728 --> 00:08:28,147
It was so much fun.
210
00:08:28,148 --> 00:08:29,921
Well, it'll be a night
you'll never forget
211
00:08:29,922 --> 00:08:31,505
because it's almost certainly the night
212
00:08:31,506 --> 00:08:32,909
that you contracted bird flu.
213
00:08:36,089 --> 00:08:37,588
What was that?
214
00:08:37,589 --> 00:08:40,298
Oh, nothing... just
a little inside joke.
215
00:08:40,299 --> 00:08:41,878
Inside jokes.
216
00:08:41,879 --> 00:08:44,128
How fun.
217
00:08:44,129 --> 00:08:46,162
We just made a bet on
how long it would take
218
00:08:46,163 --> 00:08:47,792
for you to mention "bird flu."
219
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,268
Delightful.
220
00:08:49,269 --> 00:08:50,932
I'm glad we can all
enjoy the lighter side
221
00:08:50,933 --> 00:08:52,551
of a global pandemic.
222
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,121
Another wager.
223
00:08:58,122 --> 00:09:01,201
Look how much fun
two-thirds of us are having.
224
00:09:01,202 --> 00:09:02,122
Aw...
225
00:09:02,123 --> 00:09:03,041
Oh, come on, Felix.
226
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,831
We're just playing around.
227
00:09:04,832 --> 00:09:06,495
You know, I can't
believe I'm saying this,
228
00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:07,831
but I'm still kind of hungry.
229
00:09:07,832 --> 00:09:09,434
- There's ice cream in the freezer.
- Oh.
230
00:09:09,435 --> 00:09:10,541
Okay, enjoy, you two.
231
00:09:10,542 --> 00:09:11,871
Just make sure that you...
232
00:09:11,872 --> 00:09:14,451
Check the expiration date.
233
00:09:14,452 --> 00:09:17,802
Ha-ha! Is something I am wont to say.
234
00:09:26,492 --> 00:09:29,903
Oh, Emily.
235
00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:31,041
Did we have plans?
236
00:09:31,042 --> 00:09:32,320
I actually have to run
out to a photo shoot.
237
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:33,650
Oh, no, I just came over
238
00:09:33,651 --> 00:09:35,320
to play this game with Oscar.
239
00:09:35,321 --> 00:09:36,481
Turns out they're really fun,
240
00:09:36,482 --> 00:09:38,225
even though I always
thought they were dumb.
241
00:09:38,226 --> 00:09:39,780
Kind of like Oscar.
242
00:09:41,441 --> 00:09:43,751
Well, aren't you two a
couple of Mario Brothers?
243
00:09:44,691 --> 00:09:47,530
Okay.
244
00:09:47,531 --> 00:09:50,581
Well, have fun getting
carpal tunnel syndrome.
245
00:09:52,361 --> 00:09:53,860
Another inside joke.
246
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,530
And just when I thought you'd run out.
247
00:09:58,441 --> 00:09:59,740
Damn it.
248
00:09:59,741 --> 00:10:01,030
Who took my Tranquility tea?
249
00:10:01,031 --> 00:10:02,480
You.
250
00:10:02,481 --> 00:10:04,041
You look tranquil, did you take it?
251
00:10:06,741 --> 00:10:08,240
Are you okay?
252
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,820
No, I'm fine. Yes. I just...
253
00:10:09,821 --> 00:10:11,630
I thought that when Oscar
and Emily became friends,
254
00:10:11,631 --> 00:10:12,991
we'd be like the Three Musketeers.
255
00:10:12,992 --> 00:10:14,615
But actually, they're the Two Musketeers
256
00:10:14,616 --> 00:10:16,925
and I'm the bastard stable
boy that they ridicule.
257
00:10:18,941 --> 00:10:21,537
They're just wrapped
up in the excitement
258
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,216
of having a new friend.
259
00:10:23,217 --> 00:10:25,000
It doesn't mean they're
going to cut you out.
260
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:25,886
You're right.
261
00:10:25,887 --> 00:10:27,306
I shouldn't be so sensitive.
262
00:10:27,307 --> 00:10:28,806
Hey, I get it.
263
00:10:28,807 --> 00:10:30,277
Nobody likes to feel...
264
00:10:32,137 --> 00:10:34,716
...ignored.
265
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,927
Well, I'm off.
266
00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:37,136
Wait, you can't go.
267
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,120
- I suppose I could stay for a minute.
- The light
268
00:10:39,121 --> 00:10:41,178
hasn't turned green yet, you cheater.
269
00:10:41,347 --> 00:10:43,346
Well, "Goodbye, Felix. We'll miss you.
270
00:10:43,347 --> 00:10:46,556
Thanks for making us
friends, you chump."
271
00:10:46,557 --> 00:10:47,682
Victory!
272
00:10:48,807 --> 00:10:50,262
Two in a row. You are on a roll.
273
00:10:50,263 --> 00:10:51,716
Yes.
274
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:54,100
While I'm on this hot streak,
we should go win my money back
275
00:10:54,101 --> 00:10:54,976
from that chicken.
276
00:10:54,977 --> 00:10:56,556
That is a great idea.
277
00:10:56,557 --> 00:10:58,346
Maybe Felix will meet up with us later.
278
00:10:58,347 --> 00:10:59,367
I'll go catch him.
279
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,487
Yeah. Although...
280
00:11:01,637 --> 00:11:04,216
Do you think Felix would
enjoy Chick-Tac-Toe?
281
00:11:04,217 --> 00:11:06,886
Oh, God, no. But I feel
bad not inviting him.
282
00:11:06,887 --> 00:11:08,216
Yeah.
283
00:11:08,217 --> 00:11:09,197
Although...
284
00:11:10,677 --> 00:11:13,216
If we invite him, then
he'll feel obligated to go
285
00:11:13,217 --> 00:11:14,886
and have a terrible time.
286
00:11:14,887 --> 00:11:17,476
And then we'll have a terrible time.
287
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,216
Although...
288
00:11:19,217 --> 00:11:21,386
No more "althoughs."
We shouldn't invite him.
289
00:11:21,387 --> 00:11:26,926
You know, in a way, we are
doing a really nice thing.
290
00:11:26,927 --> 00:11:31,016
Yes. We are excluding him from
something he would not enjoy.
291
00:11:31,017 --> 00:11:33,676
But we are sparing his
feelings by not telling him
292
00:11:33,677 --> 00:11:36,716
that we are excluding him.
293
00:11:36,717 --> 00:11:40,386
It's really quite beautiful.
294
00:11:40,387 --> 00:11:41,346
One more game?
295
00:11:41,347 --> 00:11:42,099
- Oh, yeah!
- Okay.
296
00:11:43,057 --> 00:11:44,846
Hey, guys. Is Dani...
297
00:11:44,847 --> 00:11:46,282
Kitchen.
298
00:11:46,283 --> 00:11:47,716
Okay.
299
00:11:47,717 --> 00:11:49,976
Hey. I got your message.
300
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,520
Have you called about my contract yet?
301
00:11:51,521 --> 00:11:52,516
Oh. No.
302
00:11:52,517 --> 00:11:54,426
A good agent never calls
in the first 24 hours.
303
00:11:54,427 --> 00:11:56,676
Teddy, come on.
I'm feeling really anxious.
304
00:11:56,677 --> 00:11:58,951
And I just drank a
gallon of Tranquility tea.
305
00:11:58,952 --> 00:11:59,679
Mmm.
306
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,676
Okay.
307
00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:04,367
- How 'bout we call him right now?
- Okay.
308
00:12:06,427 --> 00:12:09,426
Hey. Jimmy.
309
00:12:09,427 --> 00:12:11,846
How you doing?
310
00:12:11,847 --> 00:12:14,136
Oh, you know I'm good.
311
00:12:14,137 --> 00:12:16,346
Eating clean, getting lean.
312
00:12:16,347 --> 00:12:17,452
Jimmy loves me.
313
00:12:17,453 --> 00:12:18,556
Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.
314
00:12:18,557 --> 00:12:20,976
Yeah, so I'm calling about
Dani Duncan's contract.
315
00:12:20,977 --> 00:12:22,846
You need to come up on those numbers.
316
00:12:22,847 --> 00:12:25,056
Because we both know
Dani is on fire right now.
317
00:12:25,057 --> 00:12:26,306
Everybody wants her.
318
00:12:26,307 --> 00:12:27,136
They do?
319
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:27,837
No, they don't.
320
00:12:29,307 --> 00:12:30,596
Now, listen, Jimmy, listen.
321
00:12:30,597 --> 00:12:32,056
I can't let my client roll over
322
00:12:32,057 --> 00:12:33,596
and take some piece-of-crap deal.
323
00:12:33,597 --> 00:12:36,176
We want double what you
offered, with bumps, or we walk.
324
00:12:36,177 --> 00:12:37,577
Now, you know where to find me.
325
00:12:39,807 --> 00:12:41,976
Did you just hang up on him?
326
00:12:41,977 --> 00:12:43,806
It's part of the dance, baby.
327
00:12:43,807 --> 00:12:47,306
He's about to call back and
give me everything I asked for.
328
00:12:51,767 --> 00:12:53,886
Uh, I was, um...
329
00:12:53,887 --> 00:12:56,266
Let me just check and
see if the ringer is on.
330
00:12:56,267 --> 00:12:58,426
Yep. There it is.
331
00:12:58,427 --> 00:13:00,527
Five bars. That's good.
332
00:13:02,267 --> 00:13:03,930
Although who knows
how many bars he's got?
333
00:13:03,931 --> 00:13:05,371
Son of a bitch!
334
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,306
Hello, Oscar.
335
00:13:09,307 --> 00:13:10,570
- I finished your laundry.
- Oh,
336
00:13:10,571 --> 00:13:11,386
Thanks, buddy boy.
337
00:13:11,387 --> 00:13:12,766
Don't mention it.
338
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:16,386
I found something really
interesting in your dungarees.
339
00:13:16,387 --> 00:13:20,516
More interesting than you
calling them "dungarees"?
340
00:13:20,517 --> 00:13:22,516
Look familiar?
341
00:13:22,517 --> 00:13:25,516
It's a blend of safflower,
millet, and thistle...
342
00:13:25,517 --> 00:13:28,447
more commonly known as chicken feed.
343
00:13:29,927 --> 00:13:32,190
Did you and Emily go play
Chick-Tac-Toe again last night?
344
00:13:32,191 --> 00:13:35,216
It's okay. Just say it. Say it.
345
00:13:35,217 --> 00:13:36,216
No.
346
00:13:36,217 --> 00:13:38,216
That's my new snack.
347
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:41,426
You know, because you're
always on me to eat more fiber.
348
00:13:41,427 --> 00:13:45,867
Hmm. Why don't you have some right now?
349
00:13:53,597 --> 00:13:55,016
Wow.
350
00:13:55,017 --> 00:13:58,386
That's fresh thistle.
351
00:13:58,387 --> 00:14:00,476
Hey, guys.
352
00:14:01,477 --> 00:14:02,556
Aha! I saw that!
353
00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:04,346
Oscar, tell me the truth!
354
00:14:04,347 --> 00:14:07,346
Okay! Emily and I
went back to Chinatown.
355
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,429
- Oscar!
- What?
356
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,806
We didn't do anything wrong!
357
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,847
Other than lying and sneaking
around behind my back!
358
00:14:11,848 --> 00:14:13,431
We weren't lying. We were just choosing
359
00:14:13,432 --> 00:14:14,941
not to tell you something...
360
00:14:15,677 --> 00:14:17,617
...we didn't want you to know.
361
00:14:19,017 --> 00:14:22,056
Two days ago, I thought
you had nothing in common.
362
00:14:22,057 --> 00:14:23,976
But it turns out you
do... hamburger sandwiches
363
00:14:23,977 --> 00:14:26,697
and inside jokes and excluding me!
364
00:14:28,557 --> 00:14:30,556
Felix, wait!
365
00:14:30,557 --> 00:14:34,657
I don't know how a chicken does it.
366
00:14:37,517 --> 00:14:40,636
Look, I am sorry that
we went behind your back.
367
00:14:40,637 --> 00:14:43,846
But you're the one who wanted
us to become better friends.
368
00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:46,190
Yes, and very soon you'll be
better friends with each other
369
00:14:46,191 --> 00:14:47,291
than you are with me.
370
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,476
What pose is that?
371
00:14:49,477 --> 00:14:51,136
Not a pose, just misery.
372
00:14:51,137 --> 00:14:55,084
Okay, now you're just
being ridiculous, all right?
373
00:14:55,085 --> 00:14:56,930
We weren't trying to hurt your feelings.
374
00:14:56,931 --> 00:14:59,096
It was just a spontaneous thing.
375
00:14:59,097 --> 00:15:00,176
I can be spontaneous.
376
00:15:00,177 --> 00:15:01,476
Skit-skat-skiddly-doo!
377
00:15:01,477 --> 00:15:03,386
Didn't even know I was
gonna say that. Whoa!
378
00:15:03,387 --> 00:15:04,452
Look out!
379
00:15:04,453 --> 00:15:05,516
Felix.
380
00:15:05,517 --> 00:15:07,426
What's he gonna do next?
Wabba-wabba-wing-wong!
381
00:15:07,427 --> 00:15:09,636
Ugh!
382
00:15:09,637 --> 00:15:11,766
You are so tightly wound.
383
00:15:11,767 --> 00:15:14,266
Why can't you just loosen up?
You know, it wouldn't kill you
384
00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:16,697
to be a little bit more like Oscar.
385
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,636
I'm sorry. What did you say?
386
00:15:21,637 --> 00:15:24,636
What did I say?
387
00:15:24,637 --> 00:15:26,527
I don't even know.
388
00:15:30,217 --> 00:15:33,596
I'm sorry, Felix. I
didn't mean to hurt you.
389
00:15:33,597 --> 00:15:35,577
I'm sure we can get past this.
390
00:15:36,637 --> 00:15:38,987
Makeup sex?
391
00:15:40,097 --> 00:15:41,197
I'll just go.
392
00:15:43,637 --> 00:15:45,426
Hey.
393
00:15:45,427 --> 00:15:46,492
Any new developments?
394
00:15:46,493 --> 00:15:47,556
Yeah.
395
00:15:47,557 --> 00:15:51,636
One handful of chicken feed
will ruin your whole night.
396
00:15:51,637 --> 00:15:53,096
I was talking to Teddy.
397
00:15:53,097 --> 00:15:55,056
So, what's going on with my deal?
398
00:15:55,057 --> 00:15:57,556
Oh. Yeah. Uh, thing is,
Dani, he hasn't called back,
399
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,476
and there's a chance he never will.
400
00:15:59,477 --> 00:16:01,136
So that's it?
401
00:16:01,137 --> 00:16:03,636
I know you're new to the business.
402
00:16:03,637 --> 00:16:05,926
But you'll learn this kind
of thing happens all the time.
403
00:16:05,927 --> 00:16:07,676
Ah. I understand.
404
00:16:07,677 --> 00:16:10,476
So, um, how does this work? You
gonna cut me a check for $800,
405
00:16:10,477 --> 00:16:12,216
or do I send you an invoice?
406
00:16:12,217 --> 00:16:14,766
Uh, what are you talking about?
407
00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:17,030
That's what they were offering
before you blew this deal.
408
00:16:17,031 --> 00:16:19,886
Now, if you don't have
cash, I can do PayPal.
409
00:16:19,887 --> 00:16:21,081
Dani, I'm not paying you.
410
00:16:21,082 --> 00:16:23,225
Then you better pick up the
phone and get me that job.
411
00:16:23,226 --> 00:16:25,556
Because every agent in
town wants to represent me.
412
00:16:25,557 --> 00:16:26,697
- Really?
- No, they don't.
413
00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:30,766
Hey, guys.
414
00:16:30,767 --> 00:16:33,476
Have you seen Felix? He
just texted me to come by.
415
00:16:33,477 --> 00:16:35,176
No, I haven't seen him since last night.
416
00:16:35,177 --> 00:16:38,737
Morning. What's up?
417
00:16:45,516 --> 00:16:46,556
Felix, what are you doing?
418
00:16:46,557 --> 00:16:47,700
What? You said you wanted me
419
00:16:47,701 --> 00:16:50,221
to be more like Oscar.
420
00:16:51,807 --> 00:16:53,596
Hilarious!
421
00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:57,636
Where's the remote
control? Is sports on?
422
00:16:57,637 --> 00:16:59,657
It's like I'm in the room.
423
00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:03,516
Whoa! Who's gonna clean that up?
424
00:17:03,517 --> 00:17:05,057
Not me!
425
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:06,596
Not me.
426
00:17:06,597 --> 00:17:08,136
Felix.
427
00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,016
Felix, stop.
428
00:17:10,017 --> 00:17:12,596
Hey, Teddy. Why don't we go
and watch some women strip off
429
00:17:12,597 --> 00:17:14,159
their clothing?
430
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,766
What are you talking about, Fake Oscar?
431
00:17:16,767 --> 00:17:19,306
Dani, make me a sandwich.
432
00:17:19,307 --> 00:17:21,176
Oh, wait, never mind, here's one.
433
00:17:21,177 --> 00:17:22,447
Mmm...
434
00:17:25,057 --> 00:17:27,056
Felix,
435
00:17:27,057 --> 00:17:29,386
don't light that. We get
it. You've made your point.
436
00:17:29,387 --> 00:17:32,346
Who's making a point? I'm
just giving you what you want.
437
00:17:32,347 --> 00:17:34,636
Be careful there, buddy,
you're not supposed to inhale.
438
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,636
Don't be such a buzzkill, man.
439
00:17:36,637 --> 00:17:38,556
Whoa.
440
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:39,596
Whoo.
441
00:17:39,597 --> 00:17:41,556
That-that is actually... whoo.
442
00:17:41,557 --> 00:17:43,347
That... Ow!
443
00:17:45,908 --> 00:17:46,676
Are you okay?
444
00:17:46,677 --> 00:17:50,346
I need to see a doctor. I
think I broke my whisking wrist.
445
00:17:50,347 --> 00:17:53,657
Well, that doesn't sound like me at all.
446
00:18:01,931 --> 00:18:03,390
Why did it have to be his wrist?
447
00:18:03,391 --> 00:18:06,323
He needs that to do his calligraphy,
448
00:18:06,324 --> 00:18:08,387
to play his cello, to...
449
00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:11,799
do other stuff.
450
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,900
Ew.
451
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,799
Listen, I know you feel bad, but
don't beat yourself up about it.
452
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,349
Well, he hurt himself acting like you.
453
00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:26,349
Which you told him to do.
454
00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:28,759
Only after you blew our secret.
455
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,943
I should have never let you
drag me back to that place.
456
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,759
Drag you? You were pretty up for it.
457
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,929
And it was your idea to
have me eat a drumstick
458
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,929
to get in that chicken's head.
459
00:18:36,930 --> 00:18:38,389
Yeah. Which would've worked
460
00:18:38,390 --> 00:18:40,639
if you didn't suck so
much at tic-tac-toe.
461
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,567
That chicken plays 100 times a day.
462
00:18:42,568 --> 00:18:44,929
He's a professional!
463
00:18:44,930 --> 00:18:47,335
The doctor looked at
Mr. Unger's X-rays.
464
00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:49,125
It turns out it was just a sprain.
465
00:18:49,126 --> 00:18:51,718
- Oh, thank God.
- Great. When can we take him home?
466
00:18:51,719 --> 00:18:53,545
Oh, please, take him now.
467
00:18:53,546 --> 00:18:56,026
He's back there giving another
patient a second opinion.
468
00:18:56,966 --> 00:18:58,545
Well, that's a relief.
469
00:18:58,546 --> 00:19:00,385
Yeah.
470
00:19:00,386 --> 00:19:01,925
I'm sorry I blamed you.
471
00:19:01,926 --> 00:19:03,625
I was just worried about Felix.
472
00:19:03,626 --> 00:19:05,335
Me, too.
473
00:19:05,336 --> 00:19:08,255
Listen, I'm glad he found you.
474
00:19:08,256 --> 00:19:10,045
It's nice to have somebody to share
475
00:19:10,046 --> 00:19:11,716
that goofy little weirdo with.
476
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:16,606
Yeah. We're the only two people
who understand what that's like.
477
00:19:18,256 --> 00:19:21,545
Five bucks he thinks
this place gave him Ebola.
478
00:19:21,546 --> 00:19:24,255
My money's on flesh-eating bacteria.
479
00:19:24,256 --> 00:19:25,675
You're on.
480
00:19:25,676 --> 00:19:27,255
All right.
481
00:19:27,256 --> 00:19:29,385
So try that. And if it
doesn't clear up in two weeks,
482
00:19:29,386 --> 00:19:31,425
give me a call.
483
00:19:31,426 --> 00:19:32,925
Hey. How's your wrist?
484
00:19:32,926 --> 00:19:34,715
Can't move it for a week.
485
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:37,215
Doctor doesn't want me to whisk it.
486
00:19:37,216 --> 00:19:39,215
Funny bone still intact.
487
00:19:40,216 --> 00:19:41,215
Let's get out of here.
488
00:19:41,216 --> 00:19:43,295
Wait, just a sec. Um...
489
00:19:43,296 --> 00:19:44,919
I had a lot of time to think back there,
490
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,425
and I realized why I was so keen
491
00:19:46,426 --> 00:19:48,425
to force the two of you together.
492
00:19:48,426 --> 00:19:51,396
It's because my ex-wife
never liked Oscar.
493
00:19:53,046 --> 00:19:54,715
And so I saw him less and less.
494
00:19:54,716 --> 00:19:56,755
And I was worried that
if you didn't like him,
495
00:19:56,756 --> 00:19:58,295
I would be forced to choose again.
496
00:19:58,296 --> 00:20:00,675
And... I can't do that.
497
00:20:00,676 --> 00:20:02,295
Oh, you don't have to do that, buddy.
498
00:20:02,296 --> 00:20:04,505
That's never gonna happen.
499
00:20:04,506 --> 00:20:07,396
Great. Now let's get out of
here before I catch Ebola, huh?
500
00:20:09,296 --> 00:20:11,436
I saw that!
501
00:20:21,238 --> 00:20:22,487
Hey, Dani.
502
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:25,617
I am not talking to you.
503
00:20:25,618 --> 00:20:28,407
I understand. You don't
need to talk to me.
504
00:20:28,408 --> 00:20:30,777
You just need to sign your new contract.
505
00:20:30,778 --> 00:20:32,617
What?
506
00:20:32,618 --> 00:20:34,617
Yeah, Jimmy blinked. He called me back
507
00:20:34,618 --> 00:20:36,407
and gave us everything we asked for.
508
00:20:36,408 --> 00:20:38,138
Aw, thank you, Teddy.
I never doubted you.
509
00:20:38,139 --> 00:20:39,867
Mmm.
510
00:20:39,868 --> 00:20:41,771
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I have to go take down
511
00:20:41,772 --> 00:20:43,312
some playful tweets about your mama.
512
00:20:45,738 --> 00:20:47,617
So what really happened?
513
00:20:47,618 --> 00:20:49,617
I called Jimmy back,
groveled a little bit,
514
00:20:49,618 --> 00:20:52,197
and when that didn't work, I
gave him something he wanted.
515
00:20:52,198 --> 00:20:54,037
So congrats, Oscar.
516
00:20:54,038 --> 00:20:56,588
You're the new spokesman for
Long Island Portable Toilets.
517
00:20:58,488 --> 00:21:00,777
Okay. For Dani, sure.
518
00:21:00,778 --> 00:21:02,407
Aw, thanks.
519
00:21:02,408 --> 00:21:05,617
You're gonna look great in that costume.
520
00:21:05,618 --> 00:21:07,363
Wait, what?
521
00:21:07,364 --> 00:21:14,592
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