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1
00:00:03,646 --> 00:00:04,845
Come on, Felix, hurry up!
2
00:00:04,846 --> 00:00:07,156
Hors d'oeuvres are almost ready.
3
00:00:09,346 --> 00:00:11,975
Hors d'oeuvres are ready!
4
00:00:11,976 --> 00:00:13,743
Ooh!
5
00:00:13,744 --> 00:00:16,703
Generic Cool Ranch chips.
What's the occasion?
6
00:00:16,704 --> 00:00:18,043
What are you talking about?
7
00:00:18,044 --> 00:00:19,507
We're gonna watch Boobs and Dragons.
8
00:00:19,508 --> 00:00:21,543
It's called Game of Thrones.
9
00:00:21,544 --> 00:00:23,333
And I'm so sorry, but I already
10
00:00:23,334 --> 00:00:25,123
watched this week's episode with Emily.
11
00:00:25,124 --> 00:00:26,703
After all the trouble I went through?
12
00:00:26,704 --> 00:00:28,884
Look, I made dip.
13
00:00:30,244 --> 00:00:31,884
I see you've been working out.
14
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:35,203
And don't you spend
enough time with Emily?
15
00:00:35,204 --> 00:00:37,373
This is the only thing
we like to do together.
16
00:00:37,374 --> 00:00:39,086
- And you know the saying.
- Yes, I know.
17
00:00:39,087 --> 00:00:40,953
"Gents before wenches," yes.
18
00:00:40,954 --> 00:00:42,123
And I'm sorry.
19
00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:43,203
We'll watch next week. I'm actually due
20
00:00:43,204 --> 00:00:44,804
down at Emily's right this minute, so...
21
00:00:44,805 --> 00:00:46,174
I thought we were gonna see boobs,
22
00:00:46,175 --> 00:00:48,373
but if you'd rather
hang out with a girl...
23
00:00:48,374 --> 00:00:50,373
Oscar, are you cooking?
24
00:00:50,374 --> 00:00:52,657
- I'm reheating a pizza.
- Did you take it out of the box?
25
00:00:52,658 --> 00:00:54,384
I was focused on the hors d'oeuvres!
26
00:00:58,284 --> 00:01:00,333
Honestly, Oscar!
27
00:01:00,334 --> 00:01:02,373
I don't know why I put up with you!
28
00:01:02,374 --> 00:01:04,283
You have to be the single most...
29
00:01:04,284 --> 00:01:06,783
Irresponsible man on earth!
30
00:01:06,784 --> 00:01:09,043
Oscar, do you hear
that little voice, too,
31
00:01:09,044 --> 00:01:11,243
or have you finally driven me insane?
32
00:01:11,244 --> 00:01:13,043
Okay, here we go again!
33
00:01:13,044 --> 00:01:15,373
I'm barely home and already
you're criticizing me!
34
00:01:15,374 --> 00:01:16,539
Who's that?
35
00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:17,703
Must be the couple upstairs.
36
00:01:17,704 --> 00:01:19,687
Do you have to smoke
out here all the time?
37
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,783
Well, you won't let
me do it in the house!
38
00:01:21,784 --> 00:01:23,623
You shouldn't do it anywhere, Frank.
39
00:01:23,624 --> 00:01:25,123
What, you want to kill yourself?
40
00:01:25,124 --> 00:01:27,873
Right now I do!
41
00:01:27,874 --> 00:01:30,046
- Oh, that's ridiculous...
- What are you doing?
42
00:01:30,047 --> 00:01:32,243
We're not gonna stand in
the doorway and eavesdrop.
43
00:01:32,244 --> 00:01:33,747
No, we're gonna go out on the terrace
44
00:01:33,748 --> 00:01:34,873
where we can hear better.
45
00:01:34,874 --> 00:01:36,243
Do what you want, but I will not
46
00:01:36,244 --> 00:01:37,947
compromise my morals
for some cheap thrill.
47
00:01:37,948 --> 00:01:39,338
Suit yourself.
48
00:01:43,244 --> 00:01:44,587
She thinks he's having an affair!
49
00:01:44,588 --> 00:01:45,703
I don't care.
50
00:01:48,334 --> 00:01:50,543
With his slutty secretary.
51
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,644
Not interested.
52
00:01:53,954 --> 00:01:56,594
Who's also her cousin!
53
00:01:58,544 --> 00:02:01,283
Damn it!
54
00:02:16,131 --> 00:02:21,176
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
55
00:02:21,413 --> 00:02:23,333
And what about the
office Christmas party?
56
00:02:23,334 --> 00:02:25,123
Was that innocent, too?
57
00:02:25,124 --> 00:02:27,413
Again? She brought
that up twice yesterday.
58
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,493
Well, if Frank would listen,
59
00:02:29,494 --> 00:02:31,493
she wouldn't have to repeat herself.
60
00:02:31,494 --> 00:02:33,833
I was drunk, Linda. I
don't remember anything.
61
00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:35,083
Rookie move, Frank.
62
00:02:35,084 --> 00:02:36,373
Un-frickin'-believable!
63
00:02:36,374 --> 00:02:38,873
Between all the drinking
and the cigarettes,
64
00:02:38,874 --> 00:02:40,583
I don't know why you bother going down
65
00:02:40,584 --> 00:02:41,873
to that gym every morning.
66
00:02:41,874 --> 00:02:44,083
We have a gym?
67
00:02:44,084 --> 00:02:45,413
It's next to the laundry room.
68
00:02:45,414 --> 00:02:48,373
We have a laundry room?
69
00:02:50,454 --> 00:02:51,623
Quiet, quiet, quiet!
70
00:02:51,624 --> 00:02:53,873
Damn these skinny jeans!
71
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,493
It's Emily. I should take this.
72
00:02:55,494 --> 00:02:57,373
Then why did Sheila just text you
73
00:02:57,374 --> 00:02:58,623
a picture of her feet?!
74
00:02:58,624 --> 00:02:59,974
I'll call you back!
75
00:03:02,164 --> 00:03:03,623
So, tell me this.
76
00:03:03,624 --> 00:03:05,283
If Frank wasn't feeling guilty about
77
00:03:05,284 --> 00:03:06,747
the flowers he bought his secretary,
78
00:03:06,748 --> 00:03:08,913
why, then, did he hide the
receipt from Linda, hmm?
79
00:03:08,914 --> 00:03:10,583
Because she's completely irrational.
80
00:03:10,584 --> 00:03:12,496
- You know how Linda gets.
- I do.
81
00:03:12,497 --> 00:03:14,979
- She just flies off the handle!
- I know exactly how she gets.
82
00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:16,493
Aw, there he is.
83
00:03:16,494 --> 00:03:18,703
My big, sexy boyfriend.
84
00:03:18,704 --> 00:03:21,373
I'll give you... "boyfriend."
85
00:03:21,374 --> 00:03:23,453
Here, we can scoot.
86
00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,237
We've got enough space
for your skinny butts.
87
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,493
No, no, we're just
grabbing some food to go,
88
00:03:27,494 --> 00:03:29,597
while Frank takes a very
suspicious post-work shower.
89
00:03:29,598 --> 00:03:31,873
Oh, please. He's probably
just coming from the gym.
90
00:03:31,874 --> 00:03:33,663
Mm-hmm. Was he? Or is he washing off
91
00:03:33,664 --> 00:03:36,644
the telltale scent of
secretarial-cousin perfume?
92
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:41,203
You are two sad, old biddies.
93
00:03:41,204 --> 00:03:42,783
No, we're just having fun.
94
00:03:42,784 --> 00:03:44,373
It's perfectly harmless.
95
00:03:44,374 --> 00:03:46,203
That'll be an interesting
defense to make
96
00:03:46,204 --> 00:03:48,884
just before God pulls the lever
that sends you both to hell.
97
00:03:50,204 --> 00:03:52,724
That's right, there's a lever.
98
00:03:54,204 --> 00:03:56,783
Felix is obsessed with those neighbors.
99
00:03:56,784 --> 00:03:59,043
Last night, in bed, he called me Linda.
100
00:03:59,044 --> 00:04:00,144
And Frank.
101
00:04:00,145 --> 00:04:01,243
Hmm.
102
00:04:01,244 --> 00:04:02,663
Well, you're always
saying you don't have time
103
00:04:02,664 --> 00:04:03,742
for your jewelry business.
104
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,152
With Felix busy, now's your chance.
105
00:04:05,153 --> 00:04:06,902
That's true.
106
00:04:06,903 --> 00:04:08,646
I haven't met my sales
goal for the quarter.
107
00:04:08,647 --> 00:04:09,822
What's your goal?
108
00:04:09,823 --> 00:04:11,843
To sell something.
109
00:04:13,363 --> 00:04:15,902
I should just give up
and work here full-time.
110
00:04:15,903 --> 00:04:18,322
I can be one of those career waitresses,
111
00:04:18,323 --> 00:04:20,322
who calls everybody "honey"
112
00:04:20,323 --> 00:04:23,192
and fills the emptiness
with day-old pie.
113
00:04:23,193 --> 00:04:25,362
No offense, Maureen.
114
00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:27,213
None taken, honey.
115
00:04:29,193 --> 00:04:31,742
Hey, at least you're
not Oscar's assistant.
116
00:04:31,743 --> 00:04:33,822
Last night, I used my
college degree to find him
117
00:04:33,823 --> 00:04:36,282
pretzels that were, and I
quote, "You know, the same ones
118
00:04:36,283 --> 00:04:39,242
we had that one time we
were watching that thing."
119
00:04:39,243 --> 00:04:40,742
Please. I'm his agent.
120
00:04:40,743 --> 00:04:42,446
And I spent three
months trying to get him.
121
00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:44,322
Danica Patrick's personal e-mail.
122
00:04:44,323 --> 00:04:46,923
And then another month
pretending to be Danica Patrick.
123
00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:51,242
Yeah, they're making
plans to go to St. Barts.
124
00:04:51,243 --> 00:04:53,133
How the hell am I gonna pull that off?
125
00:04:54,363 --> 00:04:55,572
We're all just in a rut.
126
00:04:55,573 --> 00:04:57,532
We should do something to shake it up.
127
00:04:57,533 --> 00:05:00,242
Ooh, how about this race thing I
read about in The Village Voice?
128
00:05:00,243 --> 00:05:02,152
Oh, Lord, can we go a day
129
00:05:02,153 --> 00:05:04,112
without having a discussion about race?
130
00:05:04,113 --> 00:05:08,032
It's a running race to the top
of the Empire State Building.
131
00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:09,942
Oh.
132
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,532
I don't want to do that, either.
133
00:05:11,533 --> 00:05:13,362
That sounds like fun.
134
00:05:13,363 --> 00:05:15,322
We can train on the
stairs in my building.
135
00:05:15,323 --> 00:05:16,746
We can totally motivate each other.
136
00:05:16,747 --> 00:05:17,362
Yes, I am in!
137
00:05:17,363 --> 00:05:18,692
Yeah, good for you.
138
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,282
There's nothing like being healthy.
139
00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:23,282
Green salad and
double-bacon cheeseburger.
140
00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:26,402
You know what? I've changed my mind.
141
00:05:26,403 --> 00:05:27,673
I will take that milkshake.
142
00:05:29,693 --> 00:05:31,482
I just wish Linda wasn't such a hothead.
143
00:05:31,483 --> 00:05:34,072
She makes some valid points,
but she gets Frank so riled up
144
00:05:34,073 --> 00:05:35,282
that he just stops listening.
145
00:05:35,283 --> 00:05:37,242
That's what makes it so exciting!
146
00:05:37,243 --> 00:05:39,402
Oh, I know, but I just,
I wish I could give her
147
00:05:39,403 --> 00:05:40,906
some pointers on basic communication.
148
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,362
Oh, and how would you do that?
149
00:05:42,363 --> 00:05:44,667
Knock on their door and say,
"Hi, I've been eavesdropping.
150
00:05:44,668 --> 00:05:47,532
You're a mess, but I
think I can fix you."
151
00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:50,282
You're right. This calls
for an anonymous letter, hmm?
152
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,152
No, no. They're human beings.
153
00:05:52,153 --> 00:05:54,152
We need to respect their boundaries.
154
00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:55,322
Absolutely.
155
00:05:55,323 --> 00:05:56,463
To the terrace!
156
00:05:57,743 --> 00:05:59,482
Wait, I got to turn my ringer off.
157
00:05:59,483 --> 00:06:01,862
I'm expecting a text
from Danica Patrick.
158
00:06:01,863 --> 00:06:04,503
Aw...
159
00:06:08,157 --> 00:06:09,356
All right, you ready?
160
00:06:09,357 --> 00:06:10,152
All set.
161
00:06:10,153 --> 00:06:10,946
Uh-huh.
162
00:06:10,947 --> 00:06:12,236
I've got water, lip balm,
163
00:06:12,237 --> 00:06:14,757
an artisanal fig bar with
chutney dipping sauce.
164
00:06:15,987 --> 00:06:17,566
Felix packed for me.
165
00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:18,776
Aw, yeah.
166
00:06:18,777 --> 00:06:20,276
All right, well,
167
00:06:20,277 --> 00:06:21,132
let's do this thing!
168
00:06:21,133 --> 00:06:21,986
Yes!
169
00:06:21,987 --> 00:06:24,257
Hold on, wait for me.
170
00:06:25,496 --> 00:06:26,736
Teddy, what are you doing here?
171
00:06:26,737 --> 00:06:28,320
Well, last night, I was telling my wife
172
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,276
how dumb you two were
for doing this thing.
173
00:06:30,277 --> 00:06:32,526
Oh, how we laughed.
174
00:06:32,527 --> 00:06:35,276
And then she told me I'm doing it, too.
175
00:06:35,277 --> 00:06:37,316
Oh, how she laughed.
176
00:06:37,317 --> 00:06:39,316
What is that?
177
00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:41,236
It's a pedometer.
Diane's making me wear it.
178
00:06:41,237 --> 00:06:44,026
It counts my steps so I can't
flake out and lie about it.
179
00:06:44,027 --> 00:06:46,406
Which, in her defense, was my plan.
180
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,116
All right, well, let's get started.
181
00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:49,616
We're the Stair Masters.
182
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:52,236
The Step-by-Steppers.
183
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:54,047
The Jeffersons.
184
00:06:54,987 --> 00:06:56,486
'Cause we moving on up.
185
00:06:56,487 --> 00:06:58,307
- Good. Yeah, okay.
- Yeah, it's a good one.
186
00:07:02,027 --> 00:07:04,776
12th floor. We're halfway there.
187
00:07:04,777 --> 00:07:07,196
Time to dig deep. Lift us up, Lord!
188
00:07:07,197 --> 00:07:10,696
Well, you can put me
down, Lord, 'cause I quit.
189
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,066
I thought we were The Jeffersons.
190
00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:16,276
Yeah, we are, and I'm feeling Weezy.
191
00:07:16,277 --> 00:07:18,236
Teddy, what are you
gonna tell your wife?
192
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:19,526
I ain't scared of her.
193
00:07:19,527 --> 00:07:21,236
Listen, before I go,
194
00:07:21,237 --> 00:07:23,060
I want to wish you good
luck on your training.
195
00:07:23,061 --> 00:07:24,526
Come on, bring it in, team.
196
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,196
Yeah, oh...
197
00:07:26,197 --> 00:07:26,927
Oh, yeah.
198
00:07:26,928 --> 00:07:27,656
Aw.
199
00:07:27,657 --> 00:07:30,616
Aw, right there, uh-huh.
200
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,739
- All right.
- Okay.
201
00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:33,526
Now, take a lot of steps.
202
00:07:33,527 --> 00:07:34,882
Okay.
203
00:07:34,883 --> 00:07:36,236
All right.
204
00:07:36,237 --> 00:07:37,906
Maybe we should stop for the day, too.
205
00:07:37,907 --> 00:07:39,656
I'm starting to feel a little sore.
206
00:07:39,657 --> 00:07:41,577
Oh, honey, you're gonna
feel my foot up your butt
207
00:07:41,578 --> 00:07:43,361
if you don't get up
these stairs... let's go!
208
00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:44,696
Let's go!
209
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,537
I'm gonna drag you up
these stairs by your hair
210
00:07:46,538 --> 00:07:48,367
if you don't get up
there. Come on, let's go!
211
00:07:49,487 --> 00:07:51,486
♪ Separate, separate ♪
212
00:07:51,487 --> 00:07:53,906
♪ Or color bleeding is your fate ♪
213
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,656
♪ Oh, the whites are hot
and the colors are cold ♪
214
00:07:56,657 --> 00:07:58,356
♪ Dry on high ♪
215
00:07:58,357 --> 00:08:03,526
♪ Take out and fold. ♪
216
00:08:03,527 --> 00:08:05,877
Stupid machine! Un-frickin'-believable!
217
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:12,276
Why call it a washing machine
if it doesn't wash the clothes?
218
00:08:12,277 --> 00:08:14,736
Oh, hello,
219
00:08:14,737 --> 00:08:16,406
fellow laundry doer.
220
00:08:16,407 --> 00:08:17,656
Might I be of assistance?
221
00:08:17,657 --> 00:08:18,776
Nah, it's okay.
222
00:08:18,777 --> 00:08:20,406
The machine did a terrible job.
223
00:08:20,407 --> 00:08:21,816
And you're frustrated and angry.
224
00:08:21,817 --> 00:08:23,446
Why wouldn't you be, hmm?
225
00:08:23,447 --> 00:08:25,406
Yeah, I was gonna wear this tonight.
226
00:08:25,407 --> 00:08:27,047
Oh, that's right, you're going out.
227
00:08:27,857 --> 00:08:30,446
Of your way to make
sure that it's clean.
228
00:08:30,447 --> 00:08:32,736
You know, I can't help but notice
229
00:08:32,737 --> 00:08:34,406
that you did this load on hot.
230
00:08:34,407 --> 00:08:37,316
You know, laundry studies
have shown that deeper stains
231
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,356
actually respond better
to cooler temperatures.
232
00:08:40,357 --> 00:08:42,616
Much like people do.
233
00:08:42,617 --> 00:08:43,776
"Laundry studies"?
234
00:08:43,777 --> 00:08:45,406
The research is fascinating.
235
00:08:45,407 --> 00:08:48,276
Don't get me started on that.
236
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:49,696
Yes, you know,
237
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:52,356
laundry is a lot like
relationships, you know?
238
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:55,276
When things get too hot,
those stubborn stains,
239
00:08:55,277 --> 00:08:58,816
like stubborn spouses,
can dig in and set.
240
00:08:58,817 --> 00:09:01,196
So, what am I supposed to do?
241
00:09:01,197 --> 00:09:04,696
Try not to yell at him. You
know, make him feel heard.
242
00:09:04,697 --> 00:09:06,000
"Him" being the shirt, you know.
243
00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,561
Shirts are boys, dresses are girls.
244
00:09:08,357 --> 00:09:10,316
And, you know, if you don't wait
245
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:12,316
to fold your clothes,
you can avoid wrinkles.
246
00:09:12,317 --> 00:09:14,276
The same way that...
247
00:09:14,277 --> 00:09:16,356
if you don't go to bed
angry, you can avoid wrinkles
248
00:09:16,357 --> 00:09:17,547
in your marriage.
249
00:09:19,487 --> 00:09:21,310
Let me explain, and
also, ooh, let me do that.
250
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,951
That's not... Never do
that. Never, ever do that.
251
00:09:25,737 --> 00:09:26,776
Oscar!
252
00:09:26,777 --> 00:09:27,986
Hurry up!
253
00:09:27,987 --> 00:09:28,862
Have they started?
254
00:09:28,863 --> 00:09:29,736
Not yet.
255
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,236
But Frank should be home
any minute, and I feel
256
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,356
like today we could
have a real breakthrough.
257
00:09:32,357 --> 00:09:33,486
Why would you say that?
258
00:09:33,487 --> 00:09:34,696
Hmm? What? Why? No reason.
259
00:09:34,697 --> 00:09:36,196
I don't know. Huh?
260
00:09:36,197 --> 00:09:37,986
Look, I made hummus
and a pillowy flatbread.
261
00:09:37,987 --> 00:09:40,247
The crunch of yesterday's
biscotti almost gave us away.
262
00:09:41,407 --> 00:09:42,986
I'm lighting a cigarette, Linda.
263
00:09:42,987 --> 00:09:44,906
Aren't you gonna tear me a new one?
264
00:09:44,907 --> 00:09:46,736
No, Frank, I'm not.
265
00:09:46,737 --> 00:09:49,156
I've been thinking and,
well, things between us
266
00:09:49,157 --> 00:09:50,736
have gotten a little overheated.
267
00:09:50,737 --> 00:09:52,986
That doesn't sound like Linda.
268
00:09:52,987 --> 00:09:54,486
What's she up to?
269
00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:56,356
Who knows?
270
00:09:56,357 --> 00:10:00,356
You know, relationships
are a lot like laundry.
271
00:10:00,357 --> 00:10:01,356
What?
272
00:10:01,357 --> 00:10:03,526
The problem in our marriage
273
00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:07,066
is like a dirty blouse that I
haven't been treating properly.
274
00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:09,566
What kind of a lunatic
compares laundry to...
275
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,026
Oh, my God, it was you.
276
00:10:12,027 --> 00:10:14,356
What's going on here, Linda?
277
00:10:14,357 --> 00:10:16,156
Are you drunk?
278
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,406
No, Frank, I'm not.
279
00:10:17,407 --> 00:10:19,986
I'm finally seeing things clearly.
280
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,856
And after a lot of thinking, I decided
281
00:10:21,857 --> 00:10:24,776
I'm never gonna fight with you again.
282
00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:27,616
Because you are a stain on my life
283
00:10:27,617 --> 00:10:30,856
that I need to get rid of!
284
00:10:30,857 --> 00:10:33,667
I'm leaving you, Frank!
285
00:10:35,407 --> 00:10:37,757
So what's the verdict on the hummus?
286
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,951
What the hell did you say to her?!
287
00:10:46,952 --> 00:10:48,186
I was very clear.
288
00:10:48,187 --> 00:10:50,413
I said pretreat the grass
stains of marital discord
289
00:10:50,414 --> 00:10:52,389
with the fabric softener of forgiveness.
290
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:55,290
Good God, it's like the woman
never heard a laundry metaphor!
291
00:10:57,060 --> 00:10:59,559
Felix, I warned you. You
shouldn't have meddled.
292
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,559
I know. There's only one solution.
293
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,979
I'm gonna go up there
and I'm gonna fix this.
294
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:05,729
Dressed as Gus,
295
00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:07,559
a wise old maintenance man
296
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:11,559
who knows a thing or
two about relationships.
297
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,439
No. You have done enough.
298
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,439
We can't just stand by and do nothing.
299
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,689
I will think of something.
300
00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:17,229
Why did you have to talk to her?
301
00:11:17,230 --> 00:11:18,889
You ruined our thing!
302
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:20,290
And their marriage.
303
00:11:21,650 --> 00:11:23,269
Fine. But if you change your mind,
304
00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:26,269
I'll be standing by with my tool belt.
305
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:29,540
And a tender story
about my late wife Cora.
306
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:36,689
That's a good machine.
307
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:38,620
I got the high score on that one.
308
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,349
Are you finished with that?
309
00:11:47,350 --> 00:11:49,250
Oh, sure. Yeah, go ahead.
310
00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,830
Is anyone using the bench?
311
00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:02,099
No, no, no.
312
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:05,229
Today I'm mostly doing,
uh, bis, tris, quads...
313
00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:07,229
quints.
314
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,649
Hey, uh... you need a spotter?
315
00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:12,309
Yeah, okay, sure. Why not?
316
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:14,392
- I mean, everybody needs a spotter, right?
- Yeah.
317
00:12:14,393 --> 00:12:16,309
Even in life.
318
00:12:16,310 --> 00:12:17,939
What?
319
00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:19,009
I mean, think about it.
320
00:12:19,010 --> 00:12:20,474
You always want someone by your side
321
00:12:20,475 --> 00:12:21,888
to help you carry the load.
322
00:12:21,889 --> 00:12:24,838
You know what? I got this.
323
00:12:24,839 --> 00:12:26,888
No, no, no. That's the
mistake most people make.
324
00:12:26,889 --> 00:12:28,690
They let pride get in the way,
325
00:12:28,691 --> 00:12:30,270
and then before they know it,
326
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:32,060
their spotter's heading out the door.
327
00:12:32,061 --> 00:12:35,810
The one day I forget my earbuds.
328
00:12:35,811 --> 00:12:37,520
So don't lose your spotter.
329
00:12:37,521 --> 00:12:39,390
Reach out for her. Cherish her.
330
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:41,230
Or him, if it's a dude.
331
00:12:41,231 --> 00:12:43,600
Yeah, a little help? Please?
332
00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:44,890
See what I mean?
333
00:12:44,891 --> 00:12:47,520
Don't be ashamed to need someone.
334
00:12:47,521 --> 00:12:49,581
Little help!
335
00:12:56,561 --> 00:12:59,060
That's it. I'm done.
336
00:12:59,061 --> 00:13:03,270
I think I'm crying, but
my body can't make tears.
337
00:13:03,271 --> 00:13:05,020
The race is in five days.
338
00:13:05,021 --> 00:13:06,560
It's not the time to slack off.
339
00:13:06,561 --> 00:13:08,350
Actually, you know what?
340
00:13:08,351 --> 00:13:10,150
I'm dropping out of the race.
341
00:13:10,151 --> 00:13:12,060
What? No!
342
00:13:12,061 --> 00:13:13,520
If you quit now, what do you have?
343
00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:16,310
Something ice-blended.
344
00:13:16,311 --> 00:13:18,480
Maybe a cookie.
345
00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:19,980
You know what?
346
00:13:19,981 --> 00:13:21,980
I had a feeling you might flake.
347
00:13:21,981 --> 00:13:24,190
What's that supposed to mean?
348
00:13:24,191 --> 00:13:26,350
Well, you know...
349
00:13:26,351 --> 00:13:30,350
just when things get tough,
you have a tendency to bail.
350
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,150
Like your jewelry business.
351
00:13:32,151 --> 00:13:34,020
Well...
352
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:37,440
maybe my business
isn't going gangbusters,
353
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,161
but at least I have a dream.
354
00:13:40,771 --> 00:13:42,230
What's yours?
355
00:13:42,231 --> 00:13:44,520
To be Oscar's pretzel-shopper
the rest of your life?
356
00:13:44,521 --> 00:13:46,060
No!
357
00:13:46,061 --> 00:13:48,060
Maybe.
358
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,390
I don't know.
359
00:13:49,391 --> 00:13:50,440
Exactly!
360
00:13:50,441 --> 00:13:51,980
So what's worse...
361
00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:55,560
not achieving your goal
or not even having one?
362
00:13:55,561 --> 00:13:57,560
Fine.
363
00:13:57,561 --> 00:13:59,270
So we're both losers.
364
00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:01,791
I... W-We are.
365
00:14:03,441 --> 00:14:04,770
Okay, then I quit, too.
366
00:14:04,771 --> 00:14:06,310
Although, technically,
367
00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:08,100
you're a little bit
more of a loser than me,
368
00:14:08,101 --> 00:14:09,890
because I went two
steps higher than you.
369
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,251
Not that it matters.
370
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,291
Not that it matters.
371
00:14:23,231 --> 00:14:24,791
Not that it matters.
372
00:14:27,151 --> 00:14:28,350
Oh, it's on now.
373
00:14:28,351 --> 00:14:29,770
Oh, it's on! It's on! It's on!
374
00:14:29,771 --> 00:14:31,810
Oscar, guess who I just saw
375
00:14:31,811 --> 00:14:33,810
walking into the lobby with a suitcase,
376
00:14:33,811 --> 00:14:36,411
possibly returning to her husband Frank?
377
00:14:38,191 --> 00:14:41,100
Not a whole lot left to guess there.
378
00:14:41,101 --> 00:14:42,810
You did this.
379
00:14:42,811 --> 00:14:46,190
I may have dropped a
little advice on Frank.
380
00:14:46,191 --> 00:14:48,190
Along with a...
381
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,600
barbell.
382
00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:52,390
What are we waiting for? To the terrace!
383
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,150
Our show's back on!
384
00:14:54,151 --> 00:14:56,251
And hooray for love.
385
00:14:58,601 --> 00:14:59,730
Yeah, me too.
386
00:14:59,731 --> 00:15:01,850
We have a lot to talk about.
387
00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:04,600
I've been thinking about
everything you said, Linda,
388
00:15:04,601 --> 00:15:07,451
and there's something... there's
something I have to tell you.
389
00:15:08,651 --> 00:15:10,600
Are you cold? I'm freezing out here.
390
00:15:10,601 --> 00:15:12,560
L-Let's talk inside.
391
00:15:12,561 --> 00:15:14,813
Aw, you're so considerate, Frank.
392
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:16,100
What do we do now?
393
00:15:16,101 --> 00:15:17,440
Find another place to listen.
394
00:15:17,441 --> 00:15:18,621
I think I hear footsteps.
395
00:15:22,481 --> 00:15:25,121
Remind me to make fun
of you for that later.
396
00:15:26,521 --> 00:15:27,861
They're going down the hallway!
397
00:15:29,351 --> 00:15:30,730
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait!
398
00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:31,890
I hear something!
399
00:15:31,891 --> 00:15:33,650
Dani, stop blocking me!
400
00:15:33,651 --> 00:15:37,060
So help me, I will shove
you and say you fell.
401
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,730
Wrong fight!
402
00:15:38,731 --> 00:15:40,060
Felix, I found 'em!
403
00:15:40,061 --> 00:15:41,150
Great! Where?
404
00:15:41,151 --> 00:15:42,541
My bathroom!
405
00:15:49,521 --> 00:15:50,831
Oh, good Lord.
406
00:15:52,731 --> 00:15:55,980
It's a wonder the potpourri
didn't leave a suicide note.
407
00:15:55,981 --> 00:15:58,831
That's not potpourri. I
think it was a Cobb salad.
408
00:16:00,074 --> 00:16:02,057
Thanks for giving me
another chance, Linda.
409
00:16:02,058 --> 00:16:03,784
I know that I can be stubborn sometimes.
410
00:16:03,785 --> 00:16:06,124
Well, what about me?
I can be very critical.
411
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:07,805
You can hear much better up here.
412
00:16:09,415 --> 00:16:12,034
It's okay, it was time to
throw these shoes away anyway.
413
00:16:12,035 --> 00:16:14,494
So what made you call, Frank?
414
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,494
Well, you know, I was in the gym
415
00:16:16,495 --> 00:16:18,034
and-and I got some advice
416
00:16:18,035 --> 00:16:21,225
from one of the guys in
that gay couple downstairs.
417
00:16:23,915 --> 00:16:26,284
Phew, they think it's
Derek and Balthazar.
418
00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:28,744
They're talking about us.
419
00:16:28,745 --> 00:16:31,994
You wear one summer scarf,
and suddenly you're gay.
420
00:16:31,995 --> 00:16:33,914
Oh, that's... that's weird.
421
00:16:33,915 --> 00:16:35,034
What is?
422
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,744
I got advice in the laundry room
423
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,074
from one of those guys.
424
00:16:38,075 --> 00:16:40,074
The little one who wore the scarf
425
00:16:40,075 --> 00:16:42,784
to the Fourth of July party.
426
00:16:42,785 --> 00:16:44,288
It's like he knew we'd been fighting.
427
00:16:44,289 --> 00:16:45,784
You know, same with my guy.
428
00:16:45,785 --> 00:16:49,164
Now, how would they know so
much about our private lives?
429
00:16:49,165 --> 00:16:51,034
Oh, my God.
430
00:16:51,035 --> 00:16:53,124
You think they've been listening to us?
431
00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,494
They do live right beneath us!
432
00:16:55,495 --> 00:16:56,918
Frank, where are you going?!
433
00:16:58,245 --> 00:17:00,164
Frank, don't hurt
them! You're on parole!
434
00:17:00,165 --> 00:17:02,095
Go, go, go, go, go!
435
00:17:13,093 --> 00:17:15,132
What's that?
436
00:17:15,133 --> 00:17:17,381
My "go bag."
437
00:17:17,382 --> 00:17:19,631
It's got everything I
need to start a new life.
438
00:17:19,632 --> 00:17:21,135
This is where we say good-bye, Oscar.
439
00:17:21,136 --> 00:17:23,051
In about a year, you're
gonna get a postcard
440
00:17:23,052 --> 00:17:25,921
from a Wadsworth Dinsdale.
441
00:17:25,922 --> 00:17:27,921
We can't leave. We live here.
442
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:30,511
And sooner or later,
we're gonna run into them.
443
00:17:30,512 --> 00:17:32,261
No, no, no, you're right, you're right.
444
00:17:32,262 --> 00:17:33,721
We need to be adults.
445
00:17:33,722 --> 00:17:35,721
Admit our wrongdoing, beg for mercy.
446
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,881
Or play dumb and deny everything.
447
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,301
I like that better.
448
00:17:44,172 --> 00:17:46,761
Oh, look, Oscar, it's the nice
lady from the laundry room.
449
00:17:46,762 --> 00:17:48,761
Oh, and my buddy from the gym.
450
00:17:48,762 --> 00:17:50,381
Hey, you still feeling that burn?
451
00:17:50,382 --> 00:17:52,381
My quints are killing me.
452
00:17:52,382 --> 00:17:53,961
Drop it.
453
00:17:53,962 --> 00:17:55,551
Okay? 'Cause we know exactly...
454
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:56,572
How dare you?!
455
00:17:56,573 --> 00:17:57,591
Uh, uh, uh!
456
00:17:57,592 --> 00:18:00,801
You've been eavesdropping on
our private conversations?!
457
00:18:00,802 --> 00:18:02,381
Okay, now.
458
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,961
How dare you?!
459
00:18:04,962 --> 00:18:07,631
Barge into our house with
these false accusations.
460
00:18:07,632 --> 00:18:10,421
Yeah, I don't know what
you're talking about, man.
461
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,761
Do you actually think that
we have nothing better to do
462
00:18:12,762 --> 00:18:14,801
than to eavesdrop on our neighbors?
463
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,801
When, in reality, we spend our days
464
00:18:16,802 --> 00:18:17,961
chasing and bedding women.
465
00:18:17,962 --> 00:18:19,362
Which we do!
466
00:18:20,512 --> 00:18:23,261
We made it to the top!
467
00:18:23,262 --> 00:18:25,511
Spurring each other on
with our white-hot rage.
468
00:18:25,512 --> 00:18:27,461
Yeah, I'm sorry I called you a loser.
469
00:18:27,462 --> 00:18:28,942
Oh, I'm sorry I called you a quitter.
470
00:18:28,943 --> 00:18:30,246
Promise we'll never fight again?
471
00:18:30,247 --> 00:18:31,551
Yes. We don't want to turn into
472
00:18:31,552 --> 00:18:33,412
their next Frank and Linda show.
473
00:18:35,262 --> 00:18:36,841
I'm sorry. Who are your friends?
474
00:18:36,842 --> 00:18:37,737
Frank.
475
00:18:37,738 --> 00:18:38,732
Linda.
476
00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:43,362
Do you have an extra wig in that go bag?
477
00:18:45,152 --> 00:18:46,634
- I just got a second wind!
- Me, too!
478
00:18:46,635 --> 00:18:47,732
- More stairs?
- Mm-hmm!
479
00:18:49,882 --> 00:18:52,421
You had no right to
mess with our marriage.
480
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:53,965
It's his fault. He dragged me into it!
481
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,671
Oh, please, you loved it.
482
00:18:55,672 --> 00:18:57,051
You made a drink called The Linda.
483
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,721
What?
484
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,442
Whiskey sour with bitters.
485
00:19:01,882 --> 00:19:03,732
It was funny in context.
486
00:19:04,922 --> 00:19:06,051
Face it, Oscar none of this
487
00:19:06,052 --> 00:19:07,761
would've happened if
you weren't so nosy.
488
00:19:07,762 --> 00:19:09,801
You really think that's why I did this?
489
00:19:09,802 --> 00:19:12,341
I don't give a damn about
our stupid neighbors.
490
00:19:12,342 --> 00:19:14,171
- Hey!
- You calling me stupid?
491
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:17,171
I loved it because it was great
to finally hang out with you.
492
00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:18,461
What are you talking about?
493
00:19:18,462 --> 00:19:20,165
We're together constantly.
We're roommates.
494
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:21,606
Yep, told you.
495
00:19:22,842 --> 00:19:24,591
You're spending so much time with Emily
496
00:19:24,592 --> 00:19:26,442
that we never get to...
497
00:19:27,962 --> 00:19:29,801
Oh, forget it.
498
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,921
Oh, Oscar.
499
00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:33,421
Are you saying you miss me?
500
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,841
No!
501
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,961
Aw.
502
00:19:37,962 --> 00:19:40,062
Bring it in here, guy.
503
00:19:41,962 --> 00:19:43,341
We'll find time to spend together.
504
00:19:43,342 --> 00:19:45,011
We'll have a date night.
505
00:19:45,012 --> 00:19:47,522
Okay. As long as we
never, ever call it that.
506
00:19:48,762 --> 00:19:50,185
We should have a date night, Frank.
507
00:19:50,186 --> 00:19:51,841
Maybe Friday we could go to a movie.
508
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,801
Uh, a little privacy please?
509
00:19:53,802 --> 00:19:55,961
Yeah, we're trying
to have a moment here.
510
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,881
I can't Friday night. I'm working late.
511
00:19:58,882 --> 00:20:01,091
Yeah? Will my whore
of a cousin be there?
512
00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:03,112
Quit nagging me, Linda!
513
00:20:04,052 --> 00:20:04,967
Third wind?
514
00:20:04,968 --> 00:20:05,881
Off we go.
515
00:20:05,882 --> 00:20:06,982
Yep.
516
00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:18,044
Oscar, what's this?
517
00:20:18,045 --> 00:20:19,844
Well, we gave up on eavesdropping,
518
00:20:19,845 --> 00:20:21,908
so I wanted to think of
something else for us to do,
519
00:20:21,909 --> 00:20:23,004
and I think I found it.
520
00:20:23,005 --> 00:20:25,804
Star-looking!
521
00:20:25,805 --> 00:20:28,134
Also known as astronomy! Yay!
522
00:20:28,135 --> 00:20:30,254
Oh, Oscar.
523
00:20:30,255 --> 00:20:31,504
This takes me back.
524
00:20:31,505 --> 00:20:33,504
Did I ever tell you that I was president
525
00:20:33,505 --> 00:20:35,424
of our astronomy society in high school?
526
00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:37,254
The Sky Guys.
527
00:20:37,255 --> 00:20:39,355
So you were always kind of a dork.
528
00:20:41,305 --> 00:20:43,248
Look, Oscar! You can see
all the rings of Saturn.
529
00:20:43,249 --> 00:20:46,344
Or you can see directly into
the apartment across the street.
530
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,254
No, no, no, no. Oscar!
531
00:20:48,255 --> 00:20:49,935
You can't be looking
into people's windows.
532
00:20:49,936 --> 00:20:51,559
- Have you learned nothing?
- Oh, my God!
533
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,938
A man is dragging a lumpy duffle bag
534
00:20:53,939 --> 00:20:55,228
through his apartment.
535
00:20:55,229 --> 00:20:57,228
I wonder what's in it.
536
00:20:57,229 --> 00:20:59,039
Or who?
537
00:21:00,349 --> 00:21:02,449
Damn it!
538
00:21:03,642 --> 00:21:11,373
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