All language subtitles for The New Addams Family S02E12 Keeping Up With the Joneses

Oh, Gomez, this place looks dreadful.

Good work, everyone.

The Joneses will be here any minute!

How do I look? Should I put
on a more expensive suit?

What about the house? Is it big
enough? Should I build another wing?

Should I restock the swamp with piranhas?

Here we go again. Gomez, you promised.
No more competing with Cousin Ramon.

I'm getting tired of listening to
Putrescent's boast whenever he wins.

So Ramon beats me once in a while.

Like when he beat you at
musical electrical chairs last year.

It was javelin catching
the year before that.

Didn't he learn to tie
his shoes before you?

Is he funnier than you?
All right, all right.

All right, querida.

For you, I promise, no
more ruthless competing.

Right after I win that
first round of grenade tag.

We've been practicing all week. Gomez,

the only way to ensure Ramon doesn't
beat you is if you stop competing.

But... No buts.

Now put that grenade away.

And make sure it's
someplace the children can find it.

The Addams Family, how you do The
Addams Family Come into The Addams Family

It's the Addams Family!

Welcome to the Addams Family,
going to the Addams Family,

coming to the Addams Family now!

You dress up a little Monday. It's
so good to see you again. Morticia,

you look like you haven't
slept in weeks. You're too kind.

I'm sure I only look like
I haven't slept in days.

Hello, Monday.
Wednesday, I brought my new doll.

Let's go play.

Bravo!

So good to see you. Not as good
as it is to see you, Gomez. Oh,

you are looking a little out of
shape there, old man. Not at all,

but I can't believe
yours feels a little weak.

Ooh, Patricia, I love what you've done
with the foyer. Thank you. It's bellissimo.

Tres, that is Italian.

Sissi.

You know what that does to me.

Morticia, you know what it
does to me when you speak French.

Gomez, I didn't say a word.

Have you done something
different with your hair, Morticia? Oh,

crude oil conditioner. You
really must try it sometime.

Dinner.

First one there's the rotten egg!

More of the bat wings, please, Angela.

Coming right up. Me too, Mama. Who is?

I'm hungry.

And where is your abhorrent son, Piddly?

Retention? Recovery room.

County General. And
there were no witnesses.

I noticed Pugsy looks... healthy.

I thought he'd be more fun
for us to chase that way.

I've only got one left.

102 bat wings.

That's got to be a world record.

I'll look it up in this world record
book that I just happen to have on my lap.

Well, actually, the record
is 103. How do you know?

He holds it.

Anyone have an antacid?

I always find it helps my digestion if I
do a few calisthenics after a big meal.

A little after-dinner
exercise never hurts.

Then you're not doing it right.

Nice form, but you didn't get
very much height on your dismount.

I can jump higher than you.

Listen to our boys. Honestly, I
don't know what gets into them.

I told Gomez to stop competing
with Ramon, but he just won't listen.

Mother, can I sleep over tonight?

If it's all right with cousin Leticia.

Of course.

I'll have Lurch set up the cart of nails.

Excellent.

Why can't our husbands
behave more like children?

I hurt my foot. I think I broke my leg.

Gomez, you promised. No more silly
competitions. Now apologize to Ramon.

And Ramon, apologize to Gomez.

I'm sorry. I'm even sorry.

It was lovely seeing you again. Thank
you so much for having us, Morticia.

I'll have Lurch bring
Monday home tomorrow afternoon.

Don't bother. I'll come to get her.

So, Gomez, what do you
think of my new roadster?

She does zero to 60 in six seconds.

Well, ours can do it in five.

With the emergency brake on!

Is that so?

Maybe we should have a race.

Any time, any place.

Well then, I'll see
you tomorrow afternoon.

You're on!

But darling, we don't know
how to drive. Miller, is that?

Oh, what an unpleasant surprise.

Morticia, I just wanted to apologize for
Ramon's behavior last night. Apologize?

Oh, dear, putrescence, I should
be the one who's apologizing.

Gomez can be so immature sometimes.

When he comes to be mature, Gomez
can't hold a candle to my Ramon.

Is this such a pathetic
little baby? Oh, I don't know.

I'd say my Gomez is at least
twice as pathetic as Ramon.

Nonsense. Ramon is at least
five times as pathetic as Gomez.

Gomez is a hundred times. Two hundred.

A thousand, two thousand, a million, a
trillion, a zillion, infinity. Cute.

I'm afraid Ramon's competitiveness
is rubbing off on me. Oh, me too.

This silly race has put us both on edge.

We should get them to
call the whole thing off.

Yes, we should. After all,

I'd hate to see Gomez
embarrassed in front of the children.

Embarrassed?

Come now, Morticia. We both know
Ramon's going to win the race.

Ramon beats Gomez at
absolutely everything.

The only reason Ramon wins everything
is because Gomez feels sorry for him.

Why, my Gomez is twice the man Ramon is,

and he's going to drive
circles around your husband.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, yeah?

Thank you.

Wednesday, I thought we were going
to play hunt and defenseless play.

In a minute, Pugsley.

These are the rules.

There are no rules.

You have 30 seconds.

29, 28, nevermind. 27, 26, two,
one. Ready or not, here we come.

Leave your blazers on, Gomez.

Grind those gears.

Slow down. Oh, the driving
lesson's coming up. Splendid, Columbia.

This is an excellent instructor.

Attaboy, Gomez. Now it's
time to try parallel parking.

We're making great progress, Morticia.

I'll have Gomez zipping around blind
curves in less than a month. Mister,

the race is this afternoon.

Oh, in that case, whoops.

Goonies, we've got to get you
behind the wheel of a real car.

You're going to be from home,
Joe, if it's the last thing you do.

Well, old man, tell me
everything I need to know about the car.

I think I can remember that.
Okay, Gomez, start her up.

Gomez, that's the radio.
Turn the key in the ignition.

Ladies and gentlemen, you
are about to witness history.

Gomez Adams is about to conquer the
automobile. I feel the need, the need for speed.

He's doing better than I thought he
would. He's driving. Go, Gomez, go!

There's nothing ahead of
you but miles of open road.

And my chicken coop.

Hopefully he's got to be around here
somewhere. Don't worry, we'll find him.

He still doesn't know the
meaning of the word pain.

He doesn't know the
meaning of a lot of words.

It's tool time.

Somebody drop something? Uh-oh.

Go, ladies. Are you sure
you're going to be all right?

I'm fine, Skipper. Just tell Marianne and
Ginger I put the coconuts in the lagoon.

Gomez, it's me, Morticia.

Fish, did you see me?

I drove nearly a block, a personal best.

Where did the walls go?

What are you talking about, darling?

Tish, where are you?

I'm right here, Gomez.

Winning this race might be a
little more complicated than I thought.

I seem to have gone a little... Blind.

So? He couldn't drive before.

I can't let this stop me.

The race must go on. But
Gomez, you can't see. Can't eat it.

My other four senses are so finely tuned,
so heightened, that I don't meet my eyes.

Excuse me, Lurch, old man.

And that, my good family,

is what would happen if my other
senses weren't so finely tuned.

Oh, Wednesday, I'm sorry.

You're going up so fast. And
those teeth are sharpening up nicely.

Please, darling, you
have nothing to prove.

Everyone in this family
knows you're the better man.

Isn't that right, everyone?

I appreciate your support, but
this is something I have to do.

Won't you reconsider?

Oh, my.

Gomez is going to need all the
help he can get to win this race.

Is everything ready? Oh, yes. I put air
in the gas tank and filled the tires.

And I prepared his last will and
testament. That won't be necessary.

Ramone Jones is never
going to see me coming.

Then again, I can't see where I'm going.

What are we waiting for,
Ramon? I don't want to

just sit here all day.
I've got a race to win.

I'd be happy to start the race,
Gomez, as soon as you get out of my car.

Your car?

Of course! Just using a little
psychological warfare. Just playing some mind games.

Just trying to break your concentration.
And my foot. All part of the plan, Ramon.

All part of...

Gentlemen, start your engines.

Right, start the car.

I can feed you with my eyes closed.

Of course, that would
be redundant right now.

You'll never win, Adam.

What's that about my shins?

I said you'll never win! Win, win!

I'm sorry, old man! I can't hear you above

the roar of my extremely powerful engines!

Is father winning? Honestly,
we're a Wednesday in London.

Beats me.

Ready!

I think about it, and
yeah, it makes sense.

Who turned out the lights?

I can see! I can see!

Congratulations, Ramon, you've won
the race. What are you talking about?

Gomez clearly hit the wall
first. Ramon hit the ground first.

Portiship, Eutressens,
please, stop arguing. Yes,

I think this race is to
us both a valuable lesson.

Yes, absolutely, old man.

It's not whether you win or
lose. It's how many balls you break.

And the doctor said we both had
the same exact number of fractures.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

First one in the conservatory and
back is the better man. Ha, ha, ha.