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1
00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:04,849
Okay, here's the play. Bugsley, you
distract your sister. Fester, you go along.
2
00:00:04,870 --> 00:00:07,089
What about Morticia's devastating blitz?
3
00:00:07,150 --> 00:00:09,019
She's no match for me. I'm on to her game.
4
00:00:10,339 --> 00:00:14,140
What do you think, girls? Same play
as before? Why not? Works every time.
5
00:00:14,419 --> 00:00:18,070
Why are men so predictable? Because it
makes it easier for us to control them.
6
00:00:19,030 --> 00:00:19,710
And break!
7
00:00:26,179 --> 00:00:30,300
You're not getting around me,
Wednesday. Good. I prefer to go through you.
8
00:00:30,399 --> 00:00:33,659
You're not going to get
past me this time, Kavita. No
9
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:37,200
nonsense, darling. I always win. I'm open!
10
00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:37,810
I'm open!
11
00:00:54,219 --> 00:00:56,539
Now that's what I call a long...
12
00:01:09,359 --> 00:01:11,989
I think about it, and
yeah, it makes sense.
13
00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:29,439
I never knew blacksmithing could be so
much fun. The blazing heat, the sooty smoke.
14
00:01:43,829 --> 00:01:46,219
Is he accidentally getting hit
on the head with a large hammer?
15
00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:53,859
It's the recipe for relaxation.
16
00:01:54,299 --> 00:01:57,000
What an exquisite scale
model of the Eiffel Tower.
17
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,959
It was supposed to be a giant squid.
18
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,260
Sportacus Gomez, look!
19
00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:05,689
This one's still withdrawn and quarterly.
20
00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:08,569
America's top ten most
electrifying bachelors.
21
00:02:10,069 --> 00:02:11,870
Bester, did you make the list again?
22
00:02:12,370 --> 00:02:14,569
Numero two and climbing.
23
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:20,030
When I get to numero uno, the
women will be beating down my door.
24
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:22,759
Sounds like they're early.
25
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,590
I got it!
26
00:02:27,349 --> 00:02:28,050
I got it!
27
00:02:28,090 --> 00:02:35,280
Hey, you're not a love-starved female
admirer. No, and kindly remember that.
28
00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:40,039
Are you Festa Adams? Yes, I am.
29
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:43,530
The second most
electrifying bachelor in America.
30
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,340
Permit me to introduce myself.
31
00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:50,750
My name is Wilhelm von Trapp, and I am
prime minister from the country of Caletonia.
32
00:02:51,349 --> 00:02:57,300
And I have a very unusual and dangerous
proposition for you. Unusual and dangerous?
33
00:02:57,580 --> 00:03:00,750
Why, those are two of my favorite things.
34
00:03:05,689 --> 00:03:08,580
So, you see, it is vital
that our monarch attend
35
00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,599
the peace conference and sign the treaty,
36
00:03:10,599 --> 00:03:14,300
or Calatonia is doomed. Where does
my brother come into all of this?
37
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,659
This is King Lester.
38
00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:23,300
Good-looking guy. Hmm.
39
00:03:24,319 --> 00:03:25,639
The resemblance is remarkable.
40
00:03:26,259 --> 00:03:28,750
Fester, he could be your
brother. No, he couldn't.
41
00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:31,129
I'm his brother, and this
picture doesn't look anything like me.
42
00:03:31,909 --> 00:03:33,219
On the other hand, he could be my brother.
43
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:37,460
My spies have informed me of a
plot to assassinate His Majesty.
44
00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:41,520
He is planning to attend
the ballet tonight with
45
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,009
his wife, Queen Helen. But I trust no one.
46
00:03:44,719 --> 00:03:46,199
Not even the Royal Guard.
47
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:50,930
So you plan to ferret out the assassins
by sending Fester instead of the king?
48
00:03:50,949 --> 00:03:52,030
Oh, no!
49
00:03:53,879 --> 00:03:54,840
Not me!
50
00:03:55,439 --> 00:03:56,300
I hate the Bowery.
51
00:03:57,479 --> 00:03:58,020
I understand.
52
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,759
It was presumptuous of me to think you
would risk your life for a stranger.
53
00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:05,210
Risk my life?
54
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,280
Why didn't you say so?
55
00:04:09,159 --> 00:04:10,740
Well, how do I look?
56
00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:13,169
Sickly, bloated, and pretentious.
57
00:04:13,569 --> 00:04:14,930
Exactly like a king.
58
00:04:15,810 --> 00:04:16,689
I sure hope so.
59
00:04:17,449 --> 00:04:19,449
I'd hate for Mr. Bontrop to go to all this
60
00:04:19,449 --> 00:04:21,259
trouble and have
nobody try to rump me out.
61
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,860
I'm sure they'll be
lining up to do you in.
62
00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:33,279
Welcome to our home. I'm Gomez Adams.
63
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,509
I don't think anyone saw us.
You should be safe here, sire.
64
00:04:37,629 --> 00:04:40,610
Then get me out of this
smothering cloak, you incompetent lackey,
65
00:04:40,610 --> 00:04:42,240
or it's off with your head!
66
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:51,370
I like him already, whoever he is. Is
this the buffoon you expect to pass off as me?
67
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:09,889
It was short notice, sire, but
there is an extraordinary likeness.
68
00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:16,449
Yes, he is a good-looking fellow, but
does he have what it takes to be the king?
69
00:05:17,879 --> 00:05:21,540
Dare you question me,
you decaffeinated latte?
70
00:05:22,259 --> 00:05:23,180
Up with your cloak!
71
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,670
Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
72
00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:40,769
This place is filthy! Thank you. Lurch
works very hard to keep it that way.
73
00:05:41,529 --> 00:05:46,500
I'd rather face my enemies than
spend one night in this candlelit hovel.
74
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:47,740
You're going to stay here?
75
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,449
Yes, while Fester
assumes his majesty's place,
76
00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:52,899
I thought King Lester might stay with you.
77
00:05:53,459 --> 00:05:54,480
That is, if you don't mind.
78
00:05:54,879 --> 00:05:58,879
Of course not. Our candlelit
hovel is your candlelit hovel.
79
00:05:59,589 --> 00:06:00,970
Your Highness, with Mr. Adams' help,
80
00:06:00,970 --> 00:06:03,509
I'll be able to ferret out
who is plotting against you.
81
00:06:05,209 --> 00:06:10,670
Very well. Then I shall endure this
shanty for the time being. Please,
82
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:11,920
make yourself comfortable.
83
00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:22,459
Are you sure that these
people aren't the assassins?
84
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,970
Remember, you don't have to
say anything. Just nod. Got you.
85
00:06:40,310 --> 00:06:42,139
Kings really get good seats.
86
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,019
This is the Prince Regent, Julius.
87
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,670
Who's a babe on his arm? That
is Queen Helen. Unfortunately,
88
00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:56,050
the peace negotiations have
irreparably damaged her marriage to King Lester.
89
00:06:56,069 --> 00:06:58,819
They remain together, but
it's all premises only.
90
00:06:59,949 --> 00:07:01,449
Technically, she's available.
91
00:07:02,269 --> 00:07:05,490
Your Highness, I trust you're
having an enjoyable evening.
92
00:07:08,879 --> 00:07:12,939
Everything is in place as you
requested, Your Highness. Excellent.
93
00:07:13,319 --> 00:07:15,939
Now is the perfect time to
eliminate that royal oath.
94
00:07:16,420 --> 00:07:20,370
Once I am in Coletonia,
well, to no world power.
95
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:24,939
Don't worry, he won't make
it past the opening curtain.
96
00:07:24,959 --> 00:07:28,040
There's a trap door
right beneath his seat.
97
00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:34,149
All I have to do is press this button.
98
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:44,430
Excuse me, could you tell me where
the little king's room is, please?
99
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:48,189
Right through that door,
your majesty. Can't miss it.
100
00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:55,019
I don't know what went wrong. He
should have just fallen right through.
101
00:08:12,899 --> 00:08:16,589
You look lovely this
evening, your royal whiteness.
102
00:08:17,819 --> 00:08:23,060
Don't speak to me. I'm pretending I'm
married to the champion of pirates.
103
00:08:23,139 --> 00:08:27,930
And Paul, His Majesty's royal drink
must be tested for safety. What's that?
104
00:08:41,669 --> 00:08:46,679
Nice marrying you, King.
105
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,309
Lucy, look back.
106
00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:55,460
All right.
107
00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:58,529
You are a rude,
incorrigible beast of a man.
108
00:09:00,129 --> 00:09:02,889
Thank you. I was starting
to think you didn't like me.
109
00:09:03,639 --> 00:09:04,740
Oh, yeah.
110
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,240
What is that infernal racket?
111
00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:22,059
Ah, King Lester! I'm sorry I
haven't been more of a host,
112
00:09:22,059 --> 00:09:25,490
but I always try to take a little time
out of each day to play with my trains.
113
00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,450
Would you care to join me? What?
114
00:09:27,889 --> 00:09:30,009
Play? With toys?
115
00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:32,370
Of course! Aren't
kings allowed to have fun?
116
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:38,000
I don't know. I've never done it before.
I've been on the throne since I was six.
117
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,129
Well, come on over and give it a try.
118
00:09:40,139 --> 00:09:45,009
Maybe just a little.
After all, you are the king.
119
00:09:45,649 --> 00:09:52,830
Oh, just like this.
Now give it some juice.
120
00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:57,830
You're right! This is fun!
121
00:09:57,850 --> 00:09:58,909
You think that's fun?
122
00:09:59,789 --> 00:10:01,230
Try this. What do you think?
123
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,220
I like it!
124
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:36,740
Amazing. Bouquet of weeds?
125
00:10:57,879 --> 00:11:07,460
Good night, sweet king.
126
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:08,559
Good night.
127
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:39,720
Off with your heads!
128
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:58,940
I proved you. That was a
joke. Oh, I'm having so much fun.
129
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,700
I really must do this more often.
130
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:05,039
Tell me, how often do you
and your wife play like this?
131
00:12:06,450 --> 00:12:09,110
Every chance we get.
132
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:12,990
My Gomez is quite the
sportsman, aren't you, Monsieur?
133
00:12:13,029 --> 00:12:14,590
Yes, that's right.
134
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:19,559
Ah, Gomez, you're the one
who truly lives like a king.
135
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:24,039
Queen Helen would never allow
such an open display of affection.
136
00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:28,179
Your Majesty, a woman likes a man
who breaks the rules once in a while.
137
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,080
After all, isn't that
what romance is all about?
138
00:12:32,299 --> 00:12:33,860
That and a good
neighborhood hardware store.
139
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:55,539
If it's over already, I was just getting
dizzy from all the people spinning around.
140
00:12:55,559 --> 00:13:01,539
Oh, Lester, I don't know how or why
you've changed, but I love you, Robin.
141
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:05,509
Let's go back to the embassy
and forge an alliance of our own.
142
00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:05,710
What?
143
00:13:07,379 --> 00:13:12,129
Your Highness, we really must get back
to our preparations for the conference.
144
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:16,720
Must we? Yes, sir, we really
must. There is still much to do.
145
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,490
Promise me once this conference is
over, we'll have some time together.
146
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:27,740
Just the two of us. I promise, my love.
147
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,200
We'll rendezvous in the
morning before the conference.
148
00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:39,730
You didn't need to lay it on
so thick with the queen. I can,
149
00:13:39,730 --> 00:13:41,879
but if I like to get the
character. Come, Julius.
150
00:13:41,899 --> 00:13:45,080
We're returning to the embassy.
151
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,090
The king won't be joining us this evening.
152
00:13:49,179 --> 00:13:50,070
He won't be.
153
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:50,909
Come along, boys.
154
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,889
You've got another chance. Oh, goody.
155
00:13:57,409 --> 00:14:02,759
Follow the king, and this time you better
get rid of him, or I shall get rid of you.
156
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:18,230
Wilhelm, let's return to the embassy. I
want to play football with the Queen.
157
00:14:18,809 --> 00:14:20,029
I cannot allow that, Your Majesty.
158
00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:23,029
You're still in danger until
you sign that treaty tomorrow.
159
00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:27,059
I'm afraid we're going to have to
spend the night here. Please don't hit me.
160
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:34,860
Be ridiculous. I'm very happy here. If I
have to spend time away from my beloved,
161
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:39,409
well, I certainly don't mind that
it's here, in this wonderful house.
162
00:14:41,509 --> 00:14:43,389
Well, Wednesday, what shall we play next?
163
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,370
How about Pin the Tail on
the Happlesinger Brother?
164
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,539
I'm not sure I know how to play that one.
165
00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:54,370
That's okay. Neither does Pugsy.
166
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:57,909
I've never seen him in such good spirits.
167
00:14:58,370 --> 00:14:59,909
Yeah, I'm glad he's happy.
168
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,820
I'm only sorry I couldn't
help you find the assassins.
169
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,190
I'm afraid I need to ask
you to continue the charade.
170
00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:10,039
I fear who is ever
trying to get rid of the king
171
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,960
may become more desperate and dangerous.
172
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,960
You're not just saying
that to cheer me up, are you?
173
00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:27,899
You shall not escape me
this time, King Lester.
174
00:15:27,919 --> 00:15:31,259
No one eludes the great assassin Felix.
175
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:50,519
You can run, but you can't hide. LAUGHTER
Maybe you can hide, but you can't escape.
176
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,220
King thinks he can outsmart me?
177
00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:09,000
We'll just see about that.
178
00:16:16,179 --> 00:16:18,279
Charlie, who is that man with the dagger?
179
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:19,340
I don't know.
180
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:23,190
You don't suppose he's that
assassin Wilhelm was so concerned about?
181
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,750
Of course.
182
00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:27,450
Assassin?
183
00:16:32,179 --> 00:16:35,620
Hey, Kane. How's the sandwich? Delicious.
184
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:41,870
Hey, Lester, hope you don't mind me
saying, but that's quite the queen you got.
185
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,190
Oh, yes, I know.
186
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:49,500
I love her desperately.
There's only some way that
187
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:54,620
I could make up for all
the years of being distant,
188
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,940
cranky, unappreciative,
preoccupied, selfish, sloppy,
189
00:16:56,940 --> 00:17:00,190
not in touch with her emotional needs.
190
00:17:02,509 --> 00:17:05,529
Now I've got you!
Prepare to meet your doom!
191
00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:08,660
What's the meaning of this? I mean, you!
192
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:14,900
Prepare to meet your doom! Or
is that your doom? Pick me!
193
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:16,799
Pick me!
194
00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:18,740
Now, can't you see I'm busy?
195
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:29,369
We were hoping you'd stay a
while. How dare you do this to a kid?
196
00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:40,910
I'll never tell. Oh, all right,
then. Up with his head! Well, actually,
197
00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:43,990
Your Majesty, we have
ways of making him talk.
198
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:05,089
When being tortured, it's best to
take a deep breath before screaming.
199
00:18:05,549 --> 00:18:07,730
That way your cries will echo much longer.
200
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:10,420
King Lester.
201
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,970
Professor, what's going on?
Ah, good morning, Wilhelm.
202
00:18:14,490 --> 00:18:16,150
It turns out that Felix here... Ow!
203
00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:20,349
He's the assassin.
204
00:18:20,869 --> 00:18:23,880
Yeah, we're just trying to find out
who put him up to it. Morning to you.
205
00:18:27,430 --> 00:18:29,559
Oh, listen, there you are.
206
00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:32,079
Your Majesty, you're still alive?
207
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:36,160
Ah, Helen, Julius, you're just in time.
208
00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:45,470
My new friends here helping me
discover who sent this assassin after me.
209
00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:48,230
But he's a tough nut to crack.
210
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:51,250
That's all right. I enjoy a challenge.
211
00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:54,869
If I were you, I'd start to
talk, because she's good.
212
00:18:59,130 --> 00:18:59,930
I'll talk.
213
00:19:00,829 --> 00:19:04,720
It was Julius. He did
it. It was all his idea.
214
00:19:05,099 --> 00:19:07,559
Yes, I confess. It was me.
215
00:19:10,460 --> 00:19:14,079
Oh, well, my assassin fell. I shall not.
216
00:19:24,259 --> 00:19:29,160
Thank you, Fester. You saved my life.
217
00:19:30,349 --> 00:19:33,369
Ah, it was nothing, Your Majesty.
218
00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:36,680
I want to know why I had such a good
time without the ballet last night.
219
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:40,690
It wasn't me.
220
00:19:41,269 --> 00:19:42,329
It couldn't have been me.
221
00:19:43,029 --> 00:19:48,299
I hate the ballet. I
wouldn't be caught dead there.
222
00:19:49,099 --> 00:19:52,539
Do you speak French, darling?
223
00:19:54,839 --> 00:19:55,500
Close enough.
224
00:19:58,150 --> 00:20:01,220
Oh, my God!
225
00:20:08,170 --> 00:20:17,170
Oh, Gomez, what a lovely
night for a gondola crew.
226
00:20:17,710 --> 00:20:19,740
Too bad the king and queen
had to leave so quickly.
227
00:20:20,599 --> 00:20:22,859
But I suppose Calatonia needed them.
228
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:28,500
The constant threat of enemies at every
border. The burden of balancing a budget.
229
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,680
The stress of all that
political backstabbing.
230
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,579
Yes, I envy him.18270
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