Original subtitles

Hi, my name's Maya, and I'm an addict.

I'm here to take a 30-day chip.

Some of you probably remember me up here a few

weeks ago taking a one-year chip, but...

I kind of messed up.

Actually, not kind of.

I had a sleep.

And I got to say, this one month has felt ten times as long as the year before that.

My sponsor says it's because I'm actually facing

all my addictions for the first time.

Which is not so fun. I mean,

there are one or two addictions that I'd like to hang on to.

So here I am, grateful for a second chance, grateful

to my higher power, whatever that is.

I'm grateful that I've got good people watching my back, like my little brother.

But I'm especially grateful for my new sponsor.

I wanted pity.

I wanted to play games.

I wanted somebody's permission to go on killing myself,

and you didn't give me any of that.

Thank you.

And thanks for being here tonight so I don't have to feel like

the only idiot who's so excited about getting a plastic chip.

Hi, I'm Gloria, and I'm an addict.

Yeah.

Did you catch the part about giving up all her addictions?

Sounds like you've got another century of celibacy coming up.

Look, if you want to chat, why don't you call the suicide hotline?

Maybe they can give you some pointers.

Would you love me better if I got into recovery?

Hi, I'm Bill Zaboff, and I'm addicted to taking your soul.

You don't have a name for me. I'm hanging out.

Oh, I do have one, but I'm afraid it's a first name only.

After all, I have to protect Gloria's anonymity.

Thank you for letting me be of service.

And thank you...

For these 10-year chips.

You did good.

Thanks, Ty.

Thanks for coming.

Yeah, well, somebody from your family's gotta represent, right?

So, does this mean she's graduating?

What do you mean?

Well, she's been here ten years. She's gotta be done. I mean,

it's not like you gotta come to these things for the rest of your life.

Is it?

Gloria, we need to talk.

No, we don't. I know who you are. If you've

got issues with Maya, they're your issues.

This isn't about Maya.

This is about how you're going to spend the last 48 hours of your deal.

You knew her before I did. Were you just messing with her to set me up?

I think we've both been set up. But I want to help you.

Now, I know it's not up to your standards of tidiness, but this is my technique.

You grab, you stack, and you toss.

Voila, squala, begun.

Come on, Gabe, work with me.

Just for tonight, stay on our planet.

Just for one night, we'll have some company

over, and we'll feed them, and we'll talk.

So, what are you gonna make for dinner?

This is where you made your deal?

I had to show you so you'd understand.

Going to hell ten years down the road didn't worry me.

I was in hell.

All I wanted was out, and I got it.

Sorry I didn't see you.

Are you okay? My God. She could be infected.

She is. Why don't you tell me about your deal?

I was in love.

We did everything together as long as it was shooting up.

We scored some stuff called the Golden Sunset that was supposed to be unbelievable.

I loved him so much, I let him go first. That was love. Lucas, come on.

It's taking so long.

That's funny.

No, Cass. Okay.

I just wanted to die like Lucas, to have it be over. That's when he came to me.

You don't want to do that, baby.

Don't you see?

This is your chance to walk away.

He told me I could escape that hell on earth

for ten years, do good things, help people.

I knew he was no angel, but it was a way out.

The only way out.

Let's get out of here.

I needed to understand. I don't regret it.

I've spent the last 10 years helping other addicts.

People I've sponsored have experienced miracles.

The people you've sponsored were supposed to be learning by an example.

What kind of example is this?

Hey, it works if you work it. I worked it my way, and it worked.

Tell me you'd be interested in Maya if she was some skanky street whore with AIDS.

Maya was fighting in a long time before she met you.

Yeah, fighting and failing.

Nobody can do it without some kind of help.

But it wasn't some white-haired old man in the sky who helped Maya. I did it.

So what's your point?

God and the devil.

One higher power is as good as another as long as it gets you off smack.

Hey, Maya.

Hiya, hiya, hiya, Maya.

Funny you should call right now.

Pretty soon I'll be on fire.

Last Morgan gets me off somehow.

Maya has nothing to do with Gloria's deal.

Leave her out of this.

I was the one who kept Maya from dying In that alley

where she was lying You didn't know whether you'd

be good together Shining leather After that night

She was bound to try Clean up her life No.

I won't let you draw her in.

I won't let you send another woman to hell because of me.

If I tell Maya to go away forever, will you leave her alone?

Everything all right?

Yeah, I just... Look, I'm probably making something out of nothing,

but I saw you leave the meeting.

With Morgan, you mean?

Yeah, he followed me out.

I think he wanted to talk about you, but I blew him off. Whatever he's got to say,

he can say to you, right?

Yeah, right.

Thanks.

Yeah, no problem, Alison. I got to run. I'll check you later.

Bye.

Thank you.

So what now?

I think we're gonna have to go see the people you sponsored.

What? Why?

Because their recovery is based on a lie.

Your lie.

They've stayed clean.

All of them?

Is there one that you couldn't help?

Just one.

The first one, a guy named Ronnie.

You know where he lives?

Ten years ago.

That's where we'll start.

Okay, how about power droids? You gotta love

power droids. Man and machine. Friend or foe.

This is what we know. They're power droids.

No.

Okay. Dinosaurs. Do you like dinosaurs?

I told you, he won't talk.

But you can talk, right?

So, you're still preparing your opening monologue,

and I bet you it's gonna be killer.

He did sing a couple of weeks ago. That was pretty cool.

Rock on.

Oh, what was he singing?

Uh, that Kyprios song, Ignorance is Beautiful.

Kyprios, yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that that guy that went, like, totally mental?

Yeah, weird. Actually, it was just after we saw him at this live interview.

Come on, buddy. Join the party.

Okay, who's drinking wine?

Yeah, all night long.

Oh, God.

I'm sorry. I totally wasn't thinking. Oh,

it's hard to focus when old Elkie McLush over here is pulling on the charm.

Wow. Ow. Can you help me with this knife?

I'll get him.

You know, just because you have a problem doesn't mean it runs in the family.

I wish you'd teach me how to be quiet.

Now, would you get in there? I need your superior social skills.

I figured you rehab people all forgot about my brother. In ten years,

you're the first one who's ever come looking.

Can I see Ronnie?

What exactly do you want with him?

Gloria helped Ronnie when he was having some problems.

Some problems?

You don't have to be all dainty about it. He's schizophrenic.

So what, were you like a counselor at one of those hospitals?

No, I met him in Narcotics Anonymous.

I was his sponsor.

That's how you helped him? You got him off drugs?

I tried, but he took off.

I don't know what happened to him.

Well, you succeeded.

If we could just talk to Ronnie.

What, did you think you were a freaking psychiatrist or something? No.

He stopped taking drugs, oh yeah, including his medication.

He stopped seeing his doctor.

He said he didn't need any of that anymore. He said now he had the answers.

Oh, baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did we wake you?

Ronnie.

Remember me, Gloria?

Ronnie, we need to ask you some questions.

Ask away.

You can talk till you're blue in the face. He won't hear you.

He hasn't heard much of anything since he went off his meds.

That's when he decided to use our dad's drill to give himself a home lobotomy.

Everything's been okay since then, right, Ronnie?

You can't just run away.

You want me to make amends with Ronnie? There is no more Ronnie.

Why are you messing with me anyways? You obviously hate me for lying to Maya.

Look, you had a weakness. The devil exploited it.

That doesn't mean you deserve to go to hell.

No, the scars on that boy's forehead mean I deserve to go to hell.

Don't worry, he's not here.

Just leave it.

Listen, I'll leave Maya alone,

but you cannot expect me to leave every junkie who needs me.

If I let them all go down now, I have nothing to show for this.

Yeah.

Cindy, yeah.

All right.

Just hang on. I'm on my way.

I gotta go.

Fine, but let me keep working.

Give me the names of the other people you sponsored at the beginning.

No!

I mean, I can't.

It's an anonymous program, do you know? I'll call you when I'm done.

We partied together in high school.

Even though she was older, you know, we were tight, and it was fun at the time.

But now I look back and I'm like, God, how could I have given her that joint?

You know, was she shooting up back then, too?

Anyway, she invites me out here to stay with

her for a while, right? And I think, cool.

I can be like a good influence or whatever,

but it's like I'm walking on eggshells around here. I have to watch what I say,

watch what I do. I have to, you know,

censor my thoughts so I don't psychically set her off with my brainwaves.

Maya has lived here for years. If she wanted to shoot up again,

she could find what she wanted in five minutes.

Watching you drink a glass of wine is not going to make her self-destruct.

Yeah, I guess. I just want to help her, you know, protect her.

I don't know how.

Hey, suffering for your family is noble, right?

I hope so.

Yeah, me too.

I'm sorry, I only just met you. I don't know why I'm bending your ear about this.

I'm cute. Yeah.

This is Gloria. Keep calling back. It works if you work it. Gloria, are you okay?

Have you been getting my messages?

I'm worried about you.

Look, I'm gonna come over and check on you, so bye.

This is Maya. Okay, bye.

My name's Morgan Pym. I wonder if I can talk to you about Gloria.

She goes to your Tuesday 7.30 meeting?

Morgan.

No, I'm not a member. I'm just a friend of Gloria's.

No, I'm not a cop.

I'm just trying to... Hello?

Hello?

Hey, bad time?

It's about Maya.

Thanks.

Visiting?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, actually, I'm thinking of making the big move to the left coast,

but I'm not sure it's the right thing to do, you know, for Maya.

I think it'd be good for her, having you around. Yeah.

She needs somebody to look out for her.

It's not going to be you anymore?

Look, I'm not here to pry.

I have some things I need to make up for from a long time ago,

but I don't know her as well as you do, I think.

And I don't want to make things worse.

Yeah.

Where are you? Gander?

Near Needle Park?

I really want to get high.

Look, stay there and I'll pick you up.

Yeah, yeah, maybe some other time.

Sometimes trying to do the right thing just makes things worse.

But you have to try.

How bad is it?

It's all coming back.

The kid never left.

Like the 10 years I escaped, I'm feeling it all now.

I can't do this.

I'm not gonna make it.

Thanks, doll.

Going up?

Oh, I prefer going down myself.

Teach your own.

Can you press three?

My lucky number.

What's this?

Unbelievable. I can't believe they put music in this elevator.

Come on. Aw, don't be shy. Everyone should dance with me at least once.

Sorry.

This isn't... Oh.

What the hell is this?

Maya, you need to go.

Are you out of your mind? That's my sponsor.

My sponsor is shooting smack on your bed. He's right, Maya.

You need to stay out of this.

I don't know what's going on here. I don't care

what's going on here, but I'm getting out.

I can't let you do that.

You can't let me? I'm trying to save her life.

By getting her hooked again?

She was going through withdrawals just to keep her functioning.

Why are you lying to me?

I'm not.

She's been clean for ten years.

People don't suddenly go into withdrawal after ten years.

Tell me what this is about.

I can help.

No, you can't.

Maya, you're putting her in danger by being here. You need to go.

Back off!

I am taking her right now!

And I swear to God, if you touch me,

I will smash every window and screen bloody mirror

until every police cruiser in the city is outside!

Clear?

Oh, Lordy, this is better than my afternoon soaps.

So tragic, yet so erotically charged.

How did she know Gloria was here? If you think this was coincidental,

you should watch One Life to Live.

Why don't you move me?

Pardon? To another city.

You want to punish me, fine, but don't put Maya in any more danger.

Oh, now, now, dear boy. Things aren't always as they seem.

Like this rig of mine.

You'd think I was going after the queers. So

moral these days. Getting married and all.

I'm just after the people who accept me as me.

I accepted you once.

That was my mistake.

But don't make it hers.

Oh, the dramatic tension is killing me.

Gabe, could we talk for a sec?

Or I'll talk and you can send out smoke signals or whatever.

But I need to ask you about this.

Look, this isn't a drug lecture.

I don't think you're doing drugs in the school bathroom or anything.

Are you?

No.

No. That's not what this is about, is it?

So, what is it about?

Gabe, we can't keep doing this.

You're not six anymore. You're growing up,

and the issues are just going to get more complicated. And we need to communicate.

I know things are going on inside your head,

but I can't know what they are unless you tell me.

Oh.

Okay, but I'm sorry.

Did this come from listening to Maya talk about her problem?

I know you hear things sometimes, and I know it's...

It's upsetting to think that she's done these things.

She was sick.

And she's okay now.

And she's getting better.

Hey, lover.

Looking for a little afternoon delight?

No, I came to talk.

I'm calling on your number.

You tried to stab the woman that was with me night before last.

Was that because she got in your space or because you recognized her?

Nice weather we're having. A little on the sticky side, but you know what they say,

it's not the heat, it's the heroin.

Yeah, I know the bitch.

That's just what she is, too. Stone-cold bitch.

She skipped out on a dying man.

You're talking about her boyfriend Lucas.

He wasn't dead?

I seen that bitch come running out of here all crying and everything, so I went in,

found Lucas there on his last breath, got him to the hospital, saved his life.

Tight after that.

You Milford man?

Lucas Milford. He was the one who showed me how

to shoot out an actual. He also got me pregnant.

Hold it, just like that.

Slide it in slow, not too deep.

And pull it out slowly.

That's it, baby. And I push all in. It's beautiful, baby.

Drink this. Gloria, you told me a million times we're only as sick as our secrets.

What's going on with you and Morgan? He was trying to help me. Help you?

So he scores for you and lets you fix in his apartment? It's complicated.

You told me that the program isn't easy, but it is simple.

The program can't do anything for me now. Just leave me alone.

Get away from her door.

Hmm. You'd think I'd get some color down in hell,

but the flames just seem to bake, not broil.

Do you think it's wise talking to your client about Lucas Milford?

I think he's the key to all this. It's risky.

Lucas was catnip to all those skaggy whores down on the east side,

including both the young lovelies behind that door.

Yes, I know.

You made Gloria think Lucas was dead so she'd

feel bad enough to make a deal with you.

But then you kept him alive so he could go out and get Maya hooked.

Oh, honey. You knew the rules when you took the job. Tragic loner,

down through the ages, blah, blah, blah.

You're the one that brought Maya into your life.

Now you have to make a choice.

Drag her in deeper to try to save your client,

or protect her and let Gloria go to hell.

It's your music.

Dance to it.

Hey, you spent the night in Worcester with some buddies.

You know you should have come.

What, is something wrong?

Maya?

What you doing here?

She's sick. What kind of sick?

I've got to get out of here. Gloria, no.

Is she strung out?

She needs my help.

Maya, you need to trust me.

Based on what? Let him take her, Maya. You don't need to deal with this.

You don't know what you're talking about. Neither do you.

You're just making things worse for me.

Hey, let her go. Look, she's messed up.

You want her to mess you up too?

Gloria, where are you going?

You've got more of that stash in your apartment, right?

Lucas didn't die that night. The junkie you tripped over,

she took him to the hospital. He survived.

I never would have left him.

I thought... That's what the devil wanted you to think.

What? If he survived, that's a good thing, right?

No.

He went on to get other people hooked, including Maya.

Maya and Lucas?

I'm just a pawn.

I'm pawn in some game the devil's playing with you and her.

I had no chance.

Come on. She needs my help. She's making things worse for me.

Hey there, sunshine.

Turn that crown upside down.

Chin up, Bubala.

All is not lost.

I could understand how you'd be confused.

All these perverse messages.

Pleasure bad.

Abstinence good.

It really yanks my thong when these tight-ass Puritans want to ruin our fun.

But when you bought into it...

That's when the trouble really started.

Who are you?

Ooh, I think you know who I am.

You don't want to do that, baby.

Don't you see?

This is your chance to walk away.

I'm the one that saved your life.

And now I'm back to do it again.

Want to help me save my soul?

You said so yourself.

You're a pawn, an innocent victim.

And why should you have to suffer just because

Morgan and I are having a little tiff?

What do I have to do?

Well, just as Morgan said,

you have to make amends with the one who got the little boo-boo from your deal.

Lucas.

Because of you.

I sent you out there to help people, honey.

And what did you do?

You took it upon yourself to make them suffer by depriving them of their

God-given right to find bliss in the pill-powder package of their choice.

You mean by keeping them straight?

Isn't that what you meant?

Oh, Lord, no.

Bit of a misunderstanding there, I guess.

Would I send you out there to help people by making them starve or die of thirst?

Of course not.

Man cannot live on bread alone.

And ever since he developed enough of a brain to get high with,

he's been eating lotuses, smoking poppies, and what all.

It's a drive. It's natural.

It's part of being human.

By keeping Maya off drugs, you kept her from all that.

You killed her joy.

And now, you have to give it back.

How?

Shoot her up, dollface.

She'll love you for it.

And the soul you save will be your own.

What about Morgan?

That's the bonus point.

When he finds out that she's back living the high life,

he'll drop her like a sack of brimstone.

And she'll be safe from hell, too.

Better a needle in the arm than a sullen eternal flame.

Right.

Mariah, look, I can see why you're upset. I grew up on our house, too,

and it's tough when people we trusted don't turn

out to be what we thought. This is not about Dad.

This is about Gloria. Well, you said so yourself.

She's shooting up again. Because of Morgan.

What, did he put the needle in her arm?

You just had a slip yourself, like, what, a month ago?

How close to the edge can you afford to push

it? I care about her. And I care about you.

So if something helps you, then I'm all for it.

But if it hurts you to be around those people... I am those people, Ty!

That white picket fence world that you live in is not my home,

and it hasn't been since I shot up. I'm a junkie,

and that's not going to go away no matter how badly you want it to.

Yeah.

Gloria?

Come here. Come sit with me.

What's happening to us?

It's gonna be alright now.

I don't understand.

Hey, man, look, I'm sorry to keep bugging you, but it's about Maya.

Where is she, Joey? I don't know. I screwed things up with her,

so she wouldn't talk to me about it, but that woman called her sponsor,

and I tried to convince her not to go. Where?

That place she got her chip.

It's so simple, like you said.

We made it so complicated.

This is who we are. This is what we want.

And all the trouble we've ever had is it trying to be something else.

Everything we talked about was a lie.

I never once told you one thing from my own experience until just now.

We are not the kind of people who are gonna get what we want out of life, Maya.

Our daddies are gonna sneak into our beds at night.

And the men we love are gonna break our heart.

And we're gonna work hard and try to live by what other people tell us.

You know it's true, don't you?

This is the kind of happiness we can have.

The kind we can hold in our hands and nobody can take away from us.

Thank you for being my friend.

I swear to God, Gloria, I'll be right back. I'm gonna get out.

Gloria?

That's right, sugar buns, I stopped the clock.

But just my clock, not hers.

Curtain's coming down, honey, and no encore's for you.

I laid it all out for you.

My best moves.

And you laid an egg.

Well, I've got news for you.

God doesn't want your skanky little soul, and neither do I.

So I guess you're going to find out what's in between. No.

This isn't about her.

This is about you.

Lucas Milford did die that night.

Chain of bad luck was broken,

so you filled in to make sure Gloria and Maya would be connected.

You think I became Lucas Milford?

But that would be cheating. Admit it.

You've lost.

This isn't that kind of game, dear boy.

This isn't that kind of game.

Gloria, I've got to help. They're on the way.