Original subtitles

I just, I can't.

Because you don't trust me.

It's not you. I don't talk about my life with anyone.

Morgan, I've known you for two years.

I saved your life last week. Doesn't that take me out of the category of anyone?

I shouldn't have got you involved.

What are you saying?

You wish you died in a walk-in freezer so that you wouldn't have to talk to me now?

Everyone who gets close to me gets hurt.

Is that what happened to her?

That's me.

Why don't you just say it?

It's because I was a junkie, a whore, undamaged goods.

Maya, don't ever think that.

Then tell me what to think.

Yeah.

For God's sake, she used to have sex with a woman already.

Do you have a name for me? Pop a few Viagra.

Guaranteed to help you get over those Catholic scruples.

Now, that wasn't nice.

Would you hang up on God?

Do you have a name for me?

In deedy duty, I do. A giant among thinkers.

A philosopher king. There was Plato. Nietzsche.

And now, Timothy Albert.

How can I help you?

You can do something about my digital camera.

It broke the first time I tried to use it. Look at this. It doesn't flash.

It doesn't display photos. It's a useless piece of crap.

And your mart better do something about it,

or I'm gonna take it and shove it up your... Say cheese.

I gotta hand it to you, dude. You picked a really good camera.

Only an incredibly sharp, savvy,

with it kind of guy like yourself would choose a camera like this.

Thank you for shopping at your mart. Please come again.

You're welcome.

Next.

Hey, birthday number seven. That was a very good hair year for me.

But look at that cake.

What a disaster. Who made that?

Me.

What would you know?

You're only like seven.

So anyways, your birthday. Tomorrow's the big 1-0, kid.

Double digits.

And I'm going to take the whole day off, and we can do anything you want to do.

Just you and me.

Unless there's somebody else you want to come.

I just want you to know no child was loved more by hysterical always of you.

Yeah, I wish your mom and dad could come too, but they'll be there.

Gabe, I know that this is your first birthday with just me.

I'm not pretending. I mean, I know they're both gone now, but we can be happy, too.

I want you to know that taking care of you has made me happy.

Happier than I have ever been. So it's bad, but something good came out of it, too.

Oh, no, thank you for shopping at your mart.

I don't know how you do it.

Ten irate customers lined up at 9 a.m. with busted appliances and bad attitudes,

and by 9.30, you've turned them all into lifetime Yorn Marge shoppers.

Ah, well, don't thank me. Thank Protagoras.

Fifth century BC, he was one of the sophists.

He said, of all things, the measure is man. Of the things that are, how they are.

And of the things that are not, how they're not.

So, what does that mean? Well, Bernard,

it means that we create our own reality by the way we perceive it.

And that's why I love your art.

I mean, here, all things are possible.

Everything's covered up in shining glitz and attractive packaging.

And because we believe it makes us happy, it does. Well, right now,

I perceive my dogs are barking.

So I gotta take a load off.

I told you I could fix those fallen arches for you, Bernard. And a whole lot more,

too. You gotta believe me.

I could change your reality.

I figure life is what it is. But you keep on thinking those good thoughts.

Protagorist.

Protagorist. No T.

Mr. Alpert?

Oh, call me Tim.

How can I help you?

You're the Timothy Alpert with a Ph.D. in philosophy from Kingston University?

The same.

Well, then I'm actually here to help you.

Or try.

You know, I think I'm just about as happy as I could ever be right now.

But I'm willing to give it a shot, always.

Lay it on me.

Eternal damnation or a chance at redemption.

Theology, not my department. Hey, Lydia.

Hi, Tim.

What's on the menu of dreams today?

Salad spinner.

Excellent.

And where's your happiness, remember? In the moment.

That's Lydia. She was my first customer.

I took her out of the past into the eternal present. Look,

I don't care about your customers. I'm here to talk about your deal with the devil.

Extreme muscle tension.

What?

Get the weight of the world syndrome.

Feel like you gotta save everyone. Mr. Albert,

this is more important than life and death.

Oh, listen, dude, I don't do dichotomies.

No, life, death, good, bad, right, wrong, up,

down. Those are all constructs, not concrete.

Change your mind, you can change your reality. No.

You're the one who needs to change your reality.

And fast. You're the one who's suffering.

Haunted by regret.

The fear that everything you've ever done is meaningless?

You don't deserve this, Tom.

Just let it go. I can't.

I have to help you.

I'm good. Dude, I'm golden. Why don't you help yourself for a change?

Give yourself permission to live your own dreams. Yours are so simple.

Work, eat, sleep, fall in love.

All you want to do is be human.

That happened.

He's got a boogie. It's break time.

Wait.

Can I help you?

I was just looking for someone.

Morgan!

You were right.

I aced the final.

I've known you for two years.

Final?

Highest mark in my entire medieval lit class.

Ha ha!

Um, congratulations.

I think this calls for a little celebration.

Redemption. Life and death.

But I have something to do.

Don't worry.

I'll show you exactly what to do.

Home.

Sweet.

Home. What's wrong?

Nothing.

I just thought we'd never get here.

If I knew you were that impatient, I'd have done it on the bike.

Gabe, come on.

Matinee starts in 20 minutes.

We'll miss the commercials.

Hey, the world is not going to go off its axis because one pencil is out of line.

Okay.

I'll pack us a snack.

I wish I was the best mommy in the world so

I could always show you how much I love you.

Come on, Gabe, we gotta go.

Gabe, we're gonna be late for the game.

Jeez, Tiger. This place looks like a bomb hit it.

Maybe we should do a little clean-up before we go?

Ah, come on.

It's always like this.

He's just a kid.

All right, fine. We'll live like pigs one more day.

Come on, sport.

Let's scram before she wises up.

Are you undermining my authority?

No, I'm not.

You don't have any.

Oh, yes, I do.

Put your uniform on, kid.

Hey, give me some of that.

This is my bottle.

Get your own.

Come on. I want some.

Morgan can't come to the phone right now, but

if you leave your name and number... Oh.

Hi, Carl.

Yeah, he's right here.

Hello.

It's almost tea time. Where the hell are you?

Who is this?

Oh, always the comedian. Suppose today you're a stand-up comedian,

as in standing up your best friend. You're my best friend?

Ouch.

You wound me, Morgie.

I'm hanging up now, lest you zap me with another bolt of lightning wit.

Grab your clubs and get over here.

Where?

I'm taking that to the police.

Morgan! Finally!

I see you eyeing the bar with evil intent. Can I buy you a cocktail?

Ph.D. in philosophy? No.

There was, uh... I was looking for someone who was important.

Well, you know my philosophy.

Golf first, ask questions later.

How can I help you?

I'm sorry, we don't sell guns.

Really?

Then how do you explain the fact that I found it on a shelf in beauty products?

Don't you know people bring their children here?

Somebody must have left it.

What, you think someone just put down their gun

for a minute while they checked out eyeshadows?

Is that what you're going to tell police after some toddler blows her own head off?

I'm sorry, I can't explain it.

Well, that does not make me very happy.

Is that your job?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

Thank you.

Two slices of bread, and it's time for a Carl's sandwich.

Meow.

Which reminds me, how's your little minx purring these days?

Maya?

She's, uh... She's good.

She got an A on her test.

Grown woman still in school. Who needs a PhD anymore?

Still, you always did like the brainy ones.

So, Margie's settling down, huh?

Slipping on the noose, buying the cow.

Nice shot.

Yeah. I guess I am.

Listen, creep, I'm trying to help you avoid a lawsuit.

I don't need any personal advice on my anger issues.

Is there a problem, ma'am?

Yes, there is a problem. This little nobody is trying to tell me I'm a calm,

serene, peaceful person. Do I look serene to you?

No, ma'am.

Thank you.

I don't understand. It's not working.

The way you don't understand can fill a library. You think you're smarter than me?

You are an irrelevant retail peon who doesn't

understand anything about the real world.

I'm sorry.

Damn right I'm right. Now, I'm gonna go dispose of this before somebody gets hurt.

Since when do we sell guns?

You know what I think?

I think you're living in a dream world.

Feels good, huh, sport?

You've earned it, Gabe. You've had a great season.

You made your father very happy. And now,

he can live through you and get no exercise whatsoever.

Keep it in your pants, Danny.

You know my sister only likes it once a month.

Taylor.

Glad you finally made it.

Wouldn't want to miss the big birthday party.

It's tomorrow.

Whatever.

Are you going dancing, or is that the outfit you've

been wearing since last night? Jerry. Hmm.

Gabe Hallstrom. Most valuable player. Woo-hoo.

Maybe you can even coach the team when you're a middle-aged loser. Oops.

Don't spoil it for him, Taylor.

Come on. You're not actually proud of this, are you, Gabe?

Yeah, I am.

Well, fine.

Don't let me pop your middle-class bubble.

I'll see you around.

Forget it, sport.

It's not about you, okay?

So, my professor asked me to write this paper on Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

He says if it's good, it could even become my thesis.

Huh.

Why'd you decide to study medieval literature?

You know very well you got me into it.

I did?

How?

You read me the entire Canterbury Tales out loud in original Middle English.

It was like I was there. You don't remember?

Morgan, don't go all weird on me.

I've been looking my whole life for a great guy like you.

And I don't want to have to send you back to the factory.

No, sorry.

It's too late for that.

Yeah, why?

Because I loved you.

What are you doing here? I want to talk to you.

You said...

To stay in the moment.

You said that's where my happiness would be.

I can't find it. I can't find the moment.

Hey, lady. Go wine someplace else. Take it easy. Don't tell me to take it easy.

I need some help.

The camera.

It was working fine yesterday when you took that picture. I look great,

but I've been taking pictures of myself all night,

and they just keep getting worse and worse. It's wearing off. What's wearing off?

My warranty?

I'll pay extra to extend it.

No, please! You gotta help me, please!

Morgan? Are you okay?

The pictures, they're all gone.

What pictures? Pictures of us on the wall,

at the beach, at some party, in the woods.

Morgan, you don't like pictures. That's why we never take any.

No.

Something's wrong, this isn't.

Look, is this cold feet?

I mean, we've been finting around about getting more serious,

and maybe you're just not ready.

Maya Kandinsky, will you marry me?

Hi, you've reached Morgan Pim. Leave me a message,

and I'll call you back as soon as I can.

Yeah, it's Timothy Albert, the guy you came to see yesterday. He said,

I really need to talk to you right away, and call me at your remark.

God, am I glad to see you.

Down in my last roach, I really need to de-stress.

Hey. Yeah, sucks to be you, don't it?

No, not usually. I mean, but, well, it's just really a matter of perception.

Anyway, do me for an ounce?

That depends.

Can you do me for ten years of back payments?

No, no, our relationship's not based on money. You usually just give it to me.

And I finally said to myself, hey, damn, Rafe,

you got enough money you can take care of any narc that comes after you.

You don't need help from this candy-ass cashier.

Then now wait, stop.

You're talking about things that aren't a part of my reality.

You know what I think?

I think you're living in a dream world.

And I'm your wake-up call.

Coming.

I'm going to eat your pancakes.

No, you're not. Then I'm going to eat them. No, you're not.

Happy birthday, Tiger! Hope you like cake for breakfast!

Stop hitting me. We can talk about this.

We'll talk when I get my money.

I don't have it. I don't have the money.

I never needed money to be happy. Well, I do.

We can work it out together. Ow! No, we can change it.

Right after I get out of my class,

I want to go out for dinner and drink champagne and

call all our friends and tell them you proposed.

I already told my folks, and they were so happy for both of us. Hey,

you should call your parents and tell them.

What do you think about a beach wedding, since we're not into the church thing?

What are you looking for?

I don't know.

Who's that?

I don't know her name.

Why is her picture on our table?

Morgan, let's not play games. We've been together for two years. Have we? What?

I don't know.

There's no pictures of us, Maya.

And even when there were, I don't remember being in those places with you.

Morgan, you're not making any sense.

You say we should tell my parents about getting engaged.

Of course.

Have you met them?

Okay.

What are their names?

You see? I don't know either.

I don't know what year I was born.

It's like there's pieces of my life that are missing,

and there's something important that I'm supposed to be doing.

I thought we were important.

First message.

Yeah, it's Timothy Albert, the guy you came to see yesterday.

I really need to talk to you right away.

Call me at your mark.

I have to go.

Come on, Gabe. Gotta go.

Are you Bernard? Mr. Hallstrom. Thanks for coming.

Taylor, what were you thinking?

Look, if you're going to lecture me, I'd rather go to jail.

Well, maybe that's what it would take for you to learn some responsibility.

Sorry to have to bring you in here for this,

but one of our other customers saw her in Ohio with... I found her shoplifting.

Right in front of me.

In case you hadn't heard, it's against the law.

We caught her with the merchandise in her purse. Thanks for the help, Lydia.

I'm gonna take it from here.

Why didn't you just ask us for some money, Taylor?

We've given her money.

How could you do this on Gabe's birthday?

Mr. Wholesome, sir, this looks to me like a family matter.

Tell you what, if you'll agree to keep her out of

your mart from now on, we won't press charges.

Thank you very much.

Let's go.

Morgan! Morgan!

Oh, thank God you're here.

It's all falling apart.

I'm not in control anymore.

I just... Oh, Morgan, man.

Tell me you know who I am.

I just, I don't understand what you mean. You spun me up into another dimension.

About parallel reality.

We all have an infinite number of possible realities.

We just have to shift our perception.

So you're saying my life, this life is just something I dreamed up?

What about all the people I know? Did I dream them up too?

I can't say that I really understand the physics, but everybody seems real.

There must be some kind of awesome rescheduling

going on just to fit it all together.

Scheduling?

By who, the devil? Well, at the time, I thought he was just a construct,

but now I'm pretty sure he was real. You're insane.

Where have you been? I've been calling you all day.

I'm sorry. My phone must have been off.

What's with the uniform?

Nice.

That's nice.

But you don't want your friends to know I'm a waitress?

I'm sorry, I... Forgot?

Like you forgot we were supposed to spend the day together?

Well, actually, that's not his fault.

Judy, but who are you, and what are you doing in our apartment?

I'm Tim. We met at your mart yesterday. Your mart.

So, you ask me to marry you,

and then you bail on me to spend the day hanging out with a stranger at your mart?

I guess it's a good thing I picked up an extra shift.

Looks like I'm gonna need the money.

What are you doing?

I've got to get away, Morgan.

Things are changing.

You are changing.

Actually, he's changing back.

Will you please stay the hell out of this?

Maya, please, I don't want you to go.

Then tell me what's going on!

I can't.

Because you don't trust me.

Why don't you just say it?

Because I was a junkie. A whore.

I'm damaged goods.

If that's what I... I might as well have some fun.

I have to go. I have to talk to her. No, no, no, no, no.

I need you to go back to your old life.

Look, this is my life. You've got to help me. You've got to help me,

or I'm going to hell. All right?

This is your life? It's all falling apart. You know I'm telling the truth.

So where are you going? I don't know.

L.A. maybe? Mexico?

What difference does it make? It makes a difference

to me. Jerry, open your eyes. I don't fit in.

I just screw things up.

It's not as if we don't want you here. It's not you. I don't want to be here.

I don't want to try anymore.

I paid for this one.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

What are we doing here?

Look, you've been talking all night. It just doesn't make any sense.

If I see Carl and he's changed, then maybe... Maybe you'll believe me.

Morgan!

Great to see you on the links. Who's your friend? I'm Carl.

Tim.

Hey, Carl, I need to talk to you. Chat away. Just hush when I tee off.

Have you noticed anything strange happening

in the last couple days? Things changing?

Well, I didn't think it was possible, but my swing is getting better.

Morgan, it's your reality.

You won't be aware of the changes.

Face it, Tim. Carl doesn't fit your theory. He's

exactly the same. But that's not possible.

I mean, your apartment, Maya, everything else is changing.

The only way he could remain the same is if he was in control.

Ah, you're him. Yeah, you look different, but you're him. You're the devil.

Well, I've been called worse, but usually by the gals.

But if the devil is a transcendent reality,

if there is a reality we can't change by changing our perception of it,

then that means that everything I've done...

It's just been an illusion. Yeah, Rafe was right. We've been living in dream worlds.

Tim, that all sounds deep, but frankly, thinking gives me a headache. Come on,

we'll shoot nine and grab some Mai Tais.

No, no, no, wait, wait.

If I didn't really change your reality, then that means it's all in your head.

You can make it go away if you want to.

And why would he want to make all this beauty go away? Because he wants to help.

That's what you said to me when I first saw you.

And even when you didn't remember me, you came to

the Yormar looking for me. Why would you do that?

He had coupons.

I don't know. Mr. Alpert, you don't deserve this

torment. When I met you, you were unhappy.

And I thought I could fix your pain, but it's all still there.

Now, please, whatever it is, you gotta take it back.

I'll show you exactly what to do. Otherwise, I am going to hell.

So, you back?

Now it's your turn.

Tell me why you made your deal.

To prove that people can change their realities.

I don't think so. I think that was your illusion.

What?

Mr. Alpert, people don't make deals with the

devil as some kind of intellectual exercise.

They make them because they're desperate,

because that's the only way to get what they want.

Hands where I can see them, scumbag.

What?

But I'm not sure.

Yesterday, my dealer, Rafe, said something about a narc, and I don't know,

but I had this... Well, it felt like a memory,

but it didn't seem to really fit in anywhere.

You were desperate?

I was terrified she had a gun.

She?

Lydia.

Your first customer.

Yeah, she's a cop.

I already found the drugs in your van, Alpert. I know you're dealing.

No, no, no. I swear I haven't been dealing.

Just

Spoken a little weed here.

You're going down for half a key of crystal meth,

my friend. If I were you, I'd make a run for it.

She wasn't there to bust you.

She was there to kill you.

Kill me? The only way a cop would let you run

is if she didn't want you to survive the bust.

That way you couldn't tell your side of the story. She's trying to frame me?

Why? Then I finally said to myself, hey, damn, Rafe, you got enough money?

You can take care of any narc that comes after you.

Rafe, my dealer, he must have paid her off.

And you were going to take the fall for him.

So that's all it was.

I didn't sell my soul in the name of philosophy or ideas. I sold it to save my ass.

And when I did it, I spun myself so I'd forget, so I'd think I was helping people.

And in the process, you spun Lydia, so she'd fit your new reality.

Do you know where we can find her?

Her spin must be wearing off, too. They found the gun at your mark. Let's go.

What are you doing? I'm lost. I was a good wife. I kept a clean house.

But it's just so empty.

So I came here to talk to you, and you weren't at your window.

And when I went to throw my salad spinner in

the dumpster, I found this. It's a sign, Tim.

I can't take this anymore.

I'm just gonna end it.

No, no, Lydia.

We've got to talk. Get out!

Look, you have to stop her.

What, you think she's doing this because of me?

I think there's a backlash for anyone who tries

to stay in the dream world that you gave them.

Like what happened to Maya. They end up worse off than they were before. Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

Sorry won't do it.

You have three minutes to bring her back to her original reality the way you did me.

What, I gotta make amends to Lydia? She was about to kill me.

You can be right, or you can try to save your soul.

But you better decide before she pulls that trigger.

Go away.

Lydia, just put the gun down.

It's over.

I can't find my happiness.

But you don't want to kill yourself.

You want to kill me? Tim, don't.

You... Lydia, you're not a housewife.

You don't love your Mart.

Model 5946, standard issue sidearm.

Think about Rafe. About half kilo of crystal meth.

You scumbag! God damn it!

Somebody call an ambulance!

Life is what it is. But some days it sure sucks.

Are you there?

Maya, pick up.

Maya.

It's all real, you know. They're real.

As real as they ever were.

It's my gift to you.

And all you have to do is let go.

Let that other life be the dream.

Just a very bad dream.

Don't you have anything you want to say? Can't you just say something, please?

Are you all right?