Original subtitles

Finally having some fun, you know?

You should try it. I mean, when's the last time you had a good time?

Never mind, I remember.

Maya, we need to talk about what happened.

Forget it. It's none of my business what you do, or who you do.

You know, future.

You and me, kids maybe.

I trusted you.

This is your door, Jesus.

You know exactly what her problem is. You caused it.

I'm not the one who slept with another woman.

I was trying to save a soul.

And you're the one who arranged it so that Maya would walk in on us.

Oh, sure. You get laid and I'm the bad guy.

Do you have a name for me?

You really do wound me, you know.

I don't set the course of a person's life.

I merely provide an ill wind that fills the sails of human nature.

Skip the poetry and give me the name.

Conrad.

John Conrad.

Be seeing you soon, partner.

You got one last chance. Give me the gun.

Sure thing, Sheriff.

I've never had to kill anyone to protect this town. Don't make me start with you.

Isn't it lovely?

These are all my little souls.

I used to gather them myself, but by the 14th century, I needed some help.

That's how I found Morgan. He was a monk back then, so he played hard to get,

but I found that with the right bait, you can catch any fish you want.

In the end, he came to work for me. He became a collector.

Then recently he made me the most interesting proposal

he wants to seek salvation for his clients.

I decided to let him try.

For now.

I need the car for my night shift. You can take the bus. The bus?

You're real home!

Brenda Conrad? I'm looking for your husband.

You don't look like a lawyer.

So that leaves a porter, private investigator, pissed-off investor, which is a...

I guess you could call me a spiritual advisor.

Can we talk inside?

Come on in.

So you knew my husband?

He actually dealt with an associate of mine.

Well, it's news to me that John had any spiritual beliefs.

Your sect must be pretty liberal about embezzlement.

Have you heard from him since he left? Look, if I knew where the bastard was,

do you really think I'd be living here?

I would have sued him for all the money he's

probably got stashed away in Switzerland,

and I'd be the one hiding out on a beach in Tahiti with

a guy a lot younger than you rubbing in the coconut oil.

But now, this is my estate, and I didn't even know that John owned it.

And I guess nobody else did either, otherwise he would have taken this too.

Why would he keep a separate house?

I thought he was having affairs here, but it turns out this is where John grew up.

You should see his old bedroom. When he bought the place,

he set it up like it used to be when he was

a kid. Too much regression therapy, I guess.

I'd sell all the crap in there if I could get anything for it.

What about your children?

Have they heard from her? Like they'd tell me if they did.

Bobby's not around much, and I'm not sure he even remembers John,

and Shannon's too busy with her boyfriends.

At least I have a social life. What would you rather I do,

hang out here with you and Miss Dad while we get drunk on sherry? I mean, sherry,

can you believe that? Who drinks sherry?

That's enough!

You'll talk to me with respect, young lady.

Yeah, right.

Hey, are you heading into town? I have to get to work.

Shannon, he's a stranger.

He doesn't look that strange.

What do you say?

If John contacts you, you have my number.

Welcome to Battle of the Bitches. Every day, same time.

Why do you want to find my dad anyways?

I think he could be in danger.

You haven't heard from him in all this time?

Hey, nice ride.

Thanks. Just got it. What about your brother? Think I could talk to him?

She said he's not around much.

What did my mom say?

That's a nice way of putting it.

Try the police blotter. Check under aging juvenile delinquents.

Can we go? I gotta get to work.

You should see his old bedroom. When you bought the place,

you set it up like it used to be when he was a kid.

About time you showed up.

I was beginning to think you'd never get here.

What is this?

Where am I?

What does it look like? Since when is time travel part of the bargain?

You'll have to take that up with Sheriff Conrad. He's the one who set the terms.

Until then, remember these.

I gave them to you for your birthday, right after the Civil War.

And no well-dressed hombre would be caught dead without these.

Like a pair of old friends just waiting to say howdy.

The only good thing about living as long as I have is

that I know I'm not gonna make the same mistake twice.

Yes, again.

If you plan on saving Conrad's neck, you're going to have to dress the part.

We don't cot to cheaters in Conrad Corners.

Howdy, stranger.

New in town?

My name is Morgan Pym.

We need to talk, Mr. Conrad.

Is that so? I'm here about your deal.

The time's almost up.

I don't know where you came from,

but you better take that cell phone and get back

there before I do something you'll regret.

I'm not here to collect. I'm here to give you a

chance to save yourself from eternity in hell.

Well, that's a hoot.

I beat the devil, and he doesn't even know it yet.

Excuse me?

I sold my soul to go back to the old west,

just like I dreamed about when I was a kid.

And the devil delivered in spades.

But you forgot one little detail.

Look at that calendar, son.

This is 1879.

It'll be over a century before I even meet the devil.

One thing I learned in the market.

It's how to make a smart deal.

By the time this deal is up, I'll be safe on the other side of the pearly gates.

Mr. Conrad, you can add it up any way you want.

The clock is still ticking.

Ticking in your world, son.

In the future.

Not in mine.

Now, I appreciate your offer to help.

But as far as the devil's taking a claim on my soul, that's a thing of the past.

1879.

I think I found a flaw in your plan.

And what is that?

This whole town is fake.

The devil must have conjured it up to make

you think you got the deal that you wanted.

Mr. Pym, I've been here ten years.

Don't you think I might have noticed something like that by now?

See for yourself.

Hey, hey, let go of me.

Take a look at this.

Listen, friend, I've been patient with you, but I'm the law here,

and I'm not going to let folks see you pushing me around.

This is an illusion.

And the reality is still out there.

Your family and all the people whose lives you destroyed

by swindling them out of their life savings.

The man who did that hasn't even been born yet.

Conrad Corners, I'm a man of honor.

If you mess with me, it'll be your funeral.

I've been looking for you for hours.

Sorry.

Had to bury old Mrs. Willoughby.

Died peacefully in her sleep, God rest her soul.

Save your pious act for the locals.

Not that they're real.

Whatever do you mean, dear boy?

You tricked Conrad into believing he's gone back in time.

But he's just been playing cowboy for the last decade.

It's all a matter of optics, isn't it?

One man's perception is another man's reality.

Conrad is so convinced it's real, he's not even interested in seeking redemption.

Well then, you might as well relax and enjoy the trip down memory lane.

This isn't a time I have any interest in revisiting.

No?

I recall you did have some fun.

Your own brand of fun.

Shannon? Shannon Conrad.

You're mistaken, sir. My name is Cora.

But you're Jim Conrad's daughter, right?

Not that it's any of your business. My parents live in Dodge City.

If you'll please excuse me.

Welcome to Conrad Connors.

Brenda?

Name's Trixie, but for two dollars you can call me anything you like.

This fellow's business is with me, Trixie.

He's just passing through.

Why, that's a crying shame.

You know, Trixie, you remind me of a gal back home.

Her no-account husband left her with two kids to raise on her lonesome

with nothing more than a barrel full of bad debts and misery.

How about I buy you a drink?

I have gone easy on you so far.

But things are going to change if you don't keep

your paws off my wife. I'd be happy to oblige.

That was your wife.

All right, she just looks like Brenda.

But we still have a relationship.

If you know she's a copy, then how can you

say this place is real? It is. Look at it.

Trixie is a different matter.

What are you saying? She's a part of your deal?

For the first few years here, I was busy putting the town in order.

But then I started to miss Brenda.

She was so beautiful.

And she loved me before I got rich.

I only worked so hard to get rich because I wanted to.

I wanted to give her the best. So you only embezzled out of true love.

About a week after I started missing Brenda, Trixie came in on a stagecoach.

I knew right away she wasn't really Brenda,

that it was just the devil making good on his deal, but still,

she was everything I remember from the early days.

Supportive, kind, fun.

She was ready to have sex at the drop of a 10-gallon hat.

Exactly.

She was your fantasy version of Brenda.

The real Brenda is drinking herself to an early death back in your childhood home.

Just like the real Shannon is growing up to be an embittered wage

slave and your son is a juvenile delinquent who never comes home.

They're better off without me.

If I had stayed, they would have suffered through

a trial, all the humiliation. They have suffered.

Everyone connected to your crimes has suffered except for you.

You've got to get back to the real world somehow to make up for that.

I get it now.

The devil's figured out I had smarted him.

And now he sent you to try to ruin my life.

Well, you know what?

I see where the illusion is now.

It's you and your cell phone and your stories about my family.

But I'm not buying, so you can go sell it somewhere else.

Yeah, yeah, we had a pretty good day. No fires, no computer sabotage.

Yeah, you were right, Rach.

I needed to spend more time with him.

Hang on a sec.

What is it, Tiger?

Car on the fritz?

Let me see here.

Okay.

Oh, you just need some new batteries. I've got some here someplace, okay?

Tell me, Sheriff, ever been out of Conrad Corner since you got here?

Ever tried to ride out to the next town?

Why would I leave? It's the best place on Earth.

It is nice.

I bet you never lost a hand at poker here, have you?

Or missed a shot?

What's your point?

Mr. Conrad, if you knew anything about the real Old West,

you'd know that sheriffs didn't spend their time tossing card sharps out of saloons.

They were facing real outlaws.

Vicious sociopaths who hid in the shadows and shot at anything they could hit.

You wouldn't have lasted a week.

Mr. Pym, I've been reading stories about the Old West my whole life.

What makes you think you're such an expert? Because I was there.

Sorry.

But aside from the fact that you look a little young to be over a hundred,

you just don't seem like the type.

That was the problem.

I was the time.

I spent my time collecting souls from men who sold

them to kill a hundred Yankees in Gettysburg,

or to slaughter Cherokees for their horses and women,

or steal a gold mine from their best friend.

Liars and cheats and killers.

The more of them I met, the easier it got to end their lives.

After a while, people got the wrong idea about me.

They thought I was an outlaw myself.

Gunslinger.

So they started looking for me to make their name.

Well, that's a nice story.

But I'm still in the real thing. And the proof is in the cards.

Three ladies.

Three kings.

Your luck's starting to change, Sheriff.

I think we both know why.

Say your prayers, Sheriff.

I can see you're gonna be good for business, stranger.

He shot him from behind.

He murdered him.

He was gonna kill the sheriff.

But nobody can kill the sheriff, and the sheriff doesn't kill anybody, right?

You best drop that iron, friend.

You're under arrest.

He was about to kill you. I had the situation under control.

You missed every shot you fired. Your deal is ending, you've lost your aim,

and that's just the start.

I wouldn't have killed him.

You're right.

Oh, so that's it.

You just wanted the pleasure of killing me yourself.

You wouldn't have killed them because you were out of bullets.

The only real people here are you and me.

But that doesn't mean the devil won't let one of the

figments of your imagination actually kill you. I can't let that happen.

Get in the cell.

Or what?

You're a thief, Mr. Conrad, but not a killer.

What do you expect me to do?

They saw you kill a man. I can't just let you walk out of here.

None of this matters. We've got to find a way to get

you back to reality so that you can make amends.

I don't belong in your world anymore. This is my home.

I made this town into a peaceable place where

decent people can live good, simple lives.

I am a good man here, and I always will be until the day I die.

But unless you start to work with me, that'll be the day after tomorrow. Get in.

Get in!

We'll play it your way for now.

But this world of yours is about to fall apart.

Operator. Can I call, please?

Who can I say is calling?

Their daughter.

Your name, please.

Maya. Hi, you've reached the Kandinsky's.

If you'd like to leave a message for Arthur, Maggie, Jimmy, or Tyler,

please leave a message. There's no one home.

Would you like to try another number?

No.

Felt good, didn't it?

To have God's power again.

The power to choose life or death.

Admit it.

You've been thinking about him ever since you got here.

How do you expect your client to face up to his

past if he won't face up to yours? Ladies.

They're talking about me, aren't they?

They're saying you'd be dead if the stranger hadn't

have saved you. Why don't you tell them?

I told them you've always been quick on the draw.

In the bedroom, anyway.

That's not funny.

Well, you weren't standing where I was standing last night.

Because from where I was standing,

he looked like a rodeo clown who couldn't find his barrel.

They're laughing at me.

Talking behind my back.

And that's all your fault.

I can't stop what's happening out there.

The only choice you have is whether or not to try to save your soul.

All I have is your say-so on that.

I don't know, this isn't some kind of trick.

Who's this?

Someone I knew from the real Old West.

He was one of the killers who came looking for me to try to make his reputation.

He got busy that day before he found me.

He raped and killed a teenage girl.

What happened when he found you?

That's impossible.

I killed you.

So, you were just another killer.

I felt like I was God in a godless place.

Like Parker had it coming and I gave it to him.

But the truth was, I was just trying to make

myself feel better about being who I was.

I didn't make up for all the evil I'd done.

And you think that's why I became a sheriff?

To make it for my sins.

Take my word for it, Sheriff.

You can't leave the past behind.

Well, I guess we'll find out who's right.

Circuit Judge will be here in a week or so.

If you're still alive after we hang you, we'll talk again.

There is no Circuit Judge!

By this time tomorrow, you'll be in hell, and none of this will exist!

You asked Mabel to send over a meal?

For the prisoner?

Why did you have to come here?

Why did you have to cause so much trouble for the sheriff?

He made this town a peaceable place where decent people can live good, simple lives.

He's a good man, and he will always be a good man until the day that he dies.

I need to talk to you. Leave me alone, please.

It's just for a minute.

I was doing a story on this jewel thief, Frankie Fingers.

He died of, well, they don't know what of.

His heart just stopped beating.

And everyone I talked to said there was somebody

else who asked about Frankie before he died.

And that guy fit Morgan Pym's description.

What, mail?

Stubble?

That man was a field.

Yeah, but I found Pym's card in the alley near where Frankie died.

Look on the back. Those are Frankie's fingerprints and his bloodstains.

I had it checked out.

Yes, but you do know him.

Could he have done this? Thought I knew him.

I was wrong.

Gabe? No.

Hey, Gabe! It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

So you're curious why I let you out of jail?

No.

I used to think the sheriff was a real man, but I can see he's got nothing on you.

You killed a man and didn't even blink.

That's not what makes a man real.

Trixie, have you seen... She let you out.

You should know. You sent her.

But Hallie did. Think about it, Conrad.

Everything here is only here because of you. She has no will of her own.

She's just an extension of your mind. What?

No!

It's not true. Look at her. She's betraying me. Yes.

When you worshipped yourself, when you thought you were infallible,

so did everyone else in the town. And now you're starting to question yourself.

And so we're there.

Something's changed.

You've seen it. You know it isn't real.

Sheriff!

Sheriff Conrad!

This telegram just came for you. It's a message from the marshal.

Someone's coming. A gunslinger looking for you.

I'm Sammy Parker.

It's him.

It's Parker, isn't it?

This proves you wrong. Conrad Corners is real. He's real. He's dead.

I killed him a long time ago.

This has all been a trick.

You knew he was coming. You brought him here to kill me. No.

This is the devil's doing.

He's trying to lock you into an illusion to keep you from seeking redemption.

Sheriff Conrad!

I'm looking for you.

I hear tell that you run bad apples out of town.

Well, why don't you come out here and take a bite out of this apple?

Look at him. He's getting ready to run. Hush up.

Sheriff Conrad would never turn his back on a fight.

Don't listen to them. They're just voices in your head. Well,

why should I listen to you?

You're the one that brought death to this town.

You're the one to blame for all of this. You're right.

I made this happen, but not the way you think.

The devil encouraged me to tell you about how violent the real Old West was,

to tell you about Parker, to break your denial.

It was a trick, and I fell for it.

Everything I've told you, you've incorporated into your fantasy world,

and that's why I became a killer here.

That's why Parker's outside trying to kill you.

You've got to face him, Sheriff.

He doesn't have enough guts to blow his own nose. Shut up! Shut up, Oli! He shot me.

You got no place to run, law man. But we're gonna do this right. Tomorrow,

high noon, right here in the street where everybody can

see me put a hole through that star on your chest. Now sleep tight.

Samuel Parker, show yourself.

Howdy.

Have we met?

That's what I'm here to find out.

My name's Morgan Pym, but if you knew me, it'd be by a name I used a long time ago.

Valentine. You carrying a message from Conrad? Nope.

I'm trying to find out more about you.

Really?

Are you like one of those guys who writes the stories about famous outlaws and that?

Why don't you tell me what you've done that would make you so famous?

Well, why don't you read it for yourself?

It's all right here. I read it. It says you killed 13 men in cold blood.

Yeah.

You wanna know why?

Because they ask too many questions.

You know, I have to be honest with you.

I don't think you're the real Samuel Parker.

In fact, I'm betting you can't name even one of the men Samuel Parker killed.

Well, I can name one.

Damn.

My Lord, you've been shot.

I noticed.

I need to talk to the sheriff alone.

Can you wait outside, Cora?

There isn't any way out of the scissor.

Even if I don't face Parker, my time's almost up.

I did, man.

Only if you want to be.

Parker's your death wish, and he'll kill you if that's what you want.

You took a bullet out there, trying to help me.

I gotta repay that.

The citizens of Conrad Corners look to me to dispense justice.

That's what I have to do. You don't.

This is all a setup. You and I, we met at noon.

And you're supposed to face Parker at the 48-hour mark.

The devil is just trying to keep you distracted right till the end.

So what do you want me to do, give up? Yes.

Give up on all of this. There's still time to find your redemption.

I can't.

Sorry.

Thank you for your kindness, Miss Corp.

You were a little girl. You must have loved him, admired him.

That's why he remembers you like this.

I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.

You were too young to know what he did. But Brenda knows.

That's why her anger's coming out of Trixie now.

But there's somebody missing.

Put the gun down.

Whatever you do, you must not kill Samuel Parker. Why not?

You did. He wasn't my redemption.

I'm supposed to make amends to Parker? You're supposed to make amends to your son.

My son?

Conrad! It's time! I'm calling you out!

When I talked to Parker, I couldn't tell if he was real or not.

I think he's both. I think in this world, he's Samuel Parker,

but in the real world, he's Bobby Conrad. How

could that be? Your time has almost up.

I think the two worlds are merging somehow. But he's the one in the poster. Well,

you know Bobby's face better than I do. Think about it.

Could it be him?

I don't know.

It's been so long. He was so young.

But this can't be. You knew Samuel Parker.

I thought I did, but now I'm not so sure.

I'm not sure there ever was a Samuel Parker.

I think the devil took the form of your son as he

is now and came looking for me so I'd kill him.

Or believe I had.

Why?

So I'd come here and tell you about it.

So I'd show you that poster.

You think the devil set all this up more than a century in advance?

Conrad, get out of here, coward. It's time to meet your maker.

Think about it. If I'm right,

the devil's trying to make you seal your own fate by

killing the only person who could save your soul.

And if you're wrong, I'm a dead man.

It's over, son.

Put the gun away.

You feel your hand, you son of a bitch?

No.

If I have to let you kill me to make up for what I did, then I will.

What it would do to you.

That's the truth.

And when I got all this, it cost me the most important thing in the world.

I missed your whole life, Bobby.

I should have stayed. I should have been there.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Where were you?

Why didn't you take me with you?

I heard somebody in here.

I thought someone was ripping us off.

Dad, where have you been?

It doesn't matter.

All that matters is I'm back.

Daddy?

You're so grown up. So beautiful.

Your friend said that you'd be coming back, but I didn't believe him.

I got a second chance, Brent.

I'll have to go to prison, and the money, and all those people.

But it's not just them.

Will you give me a second chance?

I don't know.

So, you finally had the guts to kill yourself. Sorry, sweetie.

I'm not done with you yet.

Blonde.

Redhead.

Pick up breasts this time.

Oh, yes.

Very distracting.