Original subtitles

You know, I'm just trying to help you.

Thanks, but I've already got a career.

Prostitution doesn't qualify as a career.

I'm not a prostitute. I am a sex worker.

That's how you got AIDS.

Don't be such a prude.

Could have been the dirty needles.

Maya.

And I'm cured now.

The miracle girl.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

What's with the cab?

Soil business a little slow?

You'd be surprised how people open up to a cabbie.

They tell me all their pathetic human problems.

If they don't make a sale, I guess there's always tips.

I suppose you're proud of your little victory last week, huh?

Is it the first time anyone's gotten out of one of your deals?

Not a good it didn't. He didn't go to hell. He died.

It hardly qualifies you as the second coming.

You didn't think I'd win, did you?

Well, if you're gonna carry on with this whole redemption thing...

I think I should give you somebody worthy of your saintly intentions.

Someone deep.

Someone with a lot to offer mankind.

Someone who's really worth saving.

Someone like... Nikki Schilling.

Ooh.

Hell.

Isn't it lovely?

These are all my little souls.

I used to gather them myself, but by the 14th century, I needed some help.

That's how I found Morgan. He was a monk back then, so he played hard to get,

but I found that with the right bait...

You can catch any fish you want.

In the end, he came to work for me. He became a collector.

Then recently, he made me the most interesting proposal.

He wants to seek salvation for his clients.

I decided to let him try.

For now.

Oh yeah, I do a lot of charity stuff.

Giving back to the community is all a part of being a supermodel.

So what charities do you support? Save the Pine Beetle,

the Wild Moose, whatever's endangered.

But you still wear fur.

Well, yeah, when it's cold.

All of Nikki's clothes are on loan from her designers.

Were there any other questions?

Yeah. How come every time she gives an answer, you give a different one?

Lena Borden, Borden Modeling Agency.

I just want to make sure Nikki's remarks aren't taken out of context.

Yeah.

Well, I promise I won't do that if you can define the word context.

Any other questions? Can anyone in your family define the word context?

Nikki's parents died tragically when she was young,

but she's always been very close to her sister.

As close as anyone could get to that fat cow.

Nikki, let me clarify that for you.

She has such a sweet voice.

Miss Schoenberg, we need to talk.

Are you a reporter too?

No.

I'm not a reporter.

I'm here because your deal is up in 48 hours.

My deal?

What deal?

Wow.

Has it been 10 years already?

It's true.

Time does fly when you're having fun. You really came through for me.

He's about to demand payment.

Demand payment?

Who, that?

I'm not worried about that.

You're not.

I don't know you. I will need your name for the picture.

Non sono nessuno. La fotografia è priva di volontà.

Nobody, huh? That's what all the famous ones say.

And she absolutely had Oscar de la Renta in stitches the whole night.

Oh, excuse me. Lena Borden?

Yes.

Well, hi.

Really? Well, hang on.

Must fly. Fabulous chatting with you. Nikki.

Fashion television wants to film one of your shows.

Model of the decade.

I bet.

When?

Two days. Nikki, in 48 hours, your life is gonna change.

Have they picked a location?

Well, how about the Brazen Images Art Gallery?

It's Nikki's favorite spot for photo shoots.

Well, yes, I happen to own the gallery, but it's got nothing to do with publicity.

It's metaphorical. After all, Nikki herself is a work of art.

Well, good, yes, it's settled. Just fax me the contracts.

What in the world is wrong with your stomach? I think I'm hungry. Well,

don't eat too much. TV cameras add 10 pounds.

You need to stay trim.

Todd, darling, must mingle.

You couldn't find her IQ with a Geiger counter. But hey,

who needs brains when your nipples naturally point upwards?

I can't believe the crap assignments I get sometimes.

And the woman's face is everywhere.

No wonder girls are starting to diet when they're like in the womb.

I can just hear their little fetuses saying,

when am I ever going to lose this baby fat?

I better tie a knot in my umbilical cord so I can look like Nikki Schillenberg.

I mean, there's a million pretty girls out there.

Why see the number one supermodel? There's a bazillion starving actors out there.

Why does one become a movie star?

Everybody sings in the shower. Who decides who becomes a rock star or a rap star?

You know, you ought to go shopping more often, just to keep up appearances.

I think this cottage cheese is almost as old as you are.

Nikki Schillenberg.

That's your choice for someone truly worthy of redemption.

Uh-oh.

We haven't lost our ideals already, have we?

She's just so vapid.

Really?

Nikki was such a deep human being when I met her.

Perhaps success is spoiler.

So does this mean you give me up on her?

Even if we weren't talking about her immortal soul,

I'd try to save her just to annoy you.

Well, as long as your intentions are good.

I just can't find out anything about her. Her agency is whitewashed.

Every interview she's done for ten years, and before that, there's nothing.

No record of her anywhere.

Like I always say, there's no use dwelling on the past.

The past is where her moment was.

The moment she decided to make a deal. If I could just understand that,

then maybe I can get through to her.

Yeah.

Show her you care.

Then you can nail her.

What? Come on. You gotta admit, she is a babe.

I heard them talking about a sister.

Did you really just snap your fingers?

Nikki's sister must have noticed when Nikki suddenly turned beautiful.

Uh-uh-uh.

You reveal yourself to a mortal, you're buying her a first-class ticket to hell.

I've been doing this for 650 years.

I know the rules.

You may do more harm than good.

You're trying to discourage me.

I must be onto something.

Nonsense.

Look in the pocket.

What's this? My sister's address. Lives in Vancouver.

Name's Nancy.

While you're out, pick up some marshmallows.

We can roast them when your client goes to hell.

Who's there?

Nancy Schoenberg.

Who are you?

Someone who wants to help your sister, Nikki.

Help her do what?

She may have some health problems.

I was hoping you could tell me anything you might know about her medical history,

especially relating to any changes you might have noticed, say, 10 years ago.

So you're a doctor?

I'm acting more in a spiritual capacity.

Oh.

I don't go to church.

I don't really go anywhere. I work at home.

Processing insurance forms.

You're not one of those priests with sex problems, are you?

Because you're looking at me strangely.

I just didn't expect you to look the way you look.

What's that supposed to mean?

I mean, I didn't realize that you and Nikki were twins.

I assume she looked different now from the way she used to.

Well, she does.

But your face, her face...

They're the same.

You're fishing.

What?

She hasn't told you anything.

We only spoke briefly.

If you're a priest, where's your collar?

Miss Schoenberg.

Unless you got a note from the Pope, I want you out of here. You damn Lord Scumbag!

Oh, there's Carla. Love the sunken cheeks, babe.

Anorexia has really helped your career.

Bet you wish you could eat like me. Oh, and there's

Fernie. How are the reps, you little exorexic?

Still spending your life in the gym?

What a loser. What a...

I want to talk to customer service.

What?

I specifically bargained for ten years of being

able to eat like a pig without getting fat.

Look at me. I can't go on TV looking like this.

I have the most important shoot of my life coming

up in two days, and I need my body back.

You think the timing of this TV thing is a coincidence?

He arranged it to humiliate you before he takes your soul.

Why didn't you tell me I'd be a blimp?

I didn't know. I thought you'd bargain for beauty.

You didn't know? What kind of demonic messenger are you?

He keeps me in the dark to make it more challenging.

To make what more challenging?

Saving your soul.

You can do that?

No, you have to do it.

How?

Well, for a start, you have to repent.

Repent?

I'm famous, I'm rich, I'm beautiful.

What's to repent?

I can't help you if you don't change your attitude.

Hey, I think you're the one with the attitude! Fine.

If you can't fix this, then I'll just have to handle it myself. A few diuretics,

some tummy crunches, and I'll be the old Nikki Schillenberg in no time.

Everything going all right?

I can't believe you'd take someone's soul in return

for the power to eat a lot without getting fat.

For a guy coming up on his first millennium,

he sure haven't learned much about women.

It's no traitor.

Ten minutes late. The kick is the bloodiest nexus.

Irene!

Hi, Jerry Slate, Vancouver Star. I was in the neighborhood,

and I just thought I'd drop in.

It's a security building.

Oh, I just have a few follow-up questions from our interview.

This is a bad time. I can't do it now.

Oh, why not? It's just my exercise time. Gotta keep fit. I was just wondering,

how does somebody get into the modeling business?

Well, you gotta get into a big agency, of course. If you're really interested.

I know one that does plus size.

But do the modeling agencies control everything?

I mean, is there a darker side to it?

What do you mean?

Well, is there any organized crime money, anything like that?

Who told you that? I met a guy named Dion Walker, goes by the name of Core D.

The rapper, the one who died, yeah. That's right.

Anyway, he had a run of bad luck in the end.

Seems like somebody was causing him a lot of problems.

Did you find out who? Well, I'm not quite sure, but I did end up with this card.

What's gone? What's gone?

I did it all by myself! I'm so good! What about the card?

Don't know him. Never heard of him.

If you'll excuse me, I got a lingerie shoot in an hour and...

Morning.

Morning? End at noon.

I didn't hear you come in last night.

I was out late.

Yeah. Don't you ever sleep?

I brought today's paper. Future employees are out there waiting for you.

Yeah. Surprisingly, there's not a lot of call

for ex-hookers on the current job market.

If I give you lunch money, it's for lunch.

You're not my dad, Morgan.

I know.

Nikki, we're waiting. And I'm worth waiting for. God, I'm so hot.

I even want to have sex with myself.

We're on a schedule here.

Is everything all right in there? I think this is actually working out.

Very nice. Who's your surgeon?

I want you to think sexy.

I'm sorry, I haven't eaten since yesterday.

Amateur.

Well then eat something, I cannot make art with that noise.

Oh no, no, not a good idea.

Eat, eat, come on.

Of course, yeah.

You!

This is your fault!

You made me eat the mushroom!

Bulimia is not a long-term solution.

I'm just throwing up because that box of laxatives made me nauseous.

Why are you doing this?

Isn't Katie beautiful?

You said something about being repentant, right? Well, I am now. I really am.

Isn't there something you can do to stop this?

There is the possibility of redemption.

If you can find a way to make up for the bad luck caused by all your good luck.

In your case, I'm not exactly sure.

I'm kind of new at saving souls.

How many have you saved so far?

One.

How many have you tried to save? Two.

Was Cordy one of them?

How'd you know that?

Lucky guess.

So, what happened to the person you saved?

He died.

But it was his choice!

No use, it's hopeless!

Is there some misfortune your deal could have caused? Like, what about your parents?

When did they die?

They didn't.

That's just what the agency tells people.

The truth is, they just won't speak to me anymore, and I don't know why.

All I did was borrow some money when I was starting out so I could get a portfolio.

That's all?

Well, actually, I pawned all Mom's jewelry,

but shouldn't they want the best for their daughter?

Please, this TV special's everything I've ever worked for,

and I can't do it looking like this.

I promise I'll make any amends in the whole world.

If he'll just convince the devil to give me back

my body so we can do the shoot tomorrow.

Nikki.

Please.

I'm begging you.

I can't even go outside like this.

Just how I do it.

All right.

Thank you.

I'm just curious if there's anything unusual in

the way you came to represent Ms. Schellenberg.

The only thing unusual about it was her natural inner beauty.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but did anything strange happen?

Miss Leigh, jealousy is ugly.

Don't be bitter because she got all the genetic marbles and you didn't.

Ta, darling.

I am not plus size.

Jerry Slate.

Oh, hi, Stuart.

Yeah, I just came in now. What is it?

The prison. Oh, you mean that shootout last week. All right,

let me take a look at it.

I don't know. It's hard to see him.

Yeah.

Sorry I can't help you. Okay.

See you tomorrow. Bye.

Here's some more drawing paper for you, Tiger. I'm gonna go take a shower, okay?

We need to talk.

Sorry, I'll do it.

Nikki says she can't make amends unless you stop making her fat.

You're getting too close to the client. You know, you...

You may have finally blown your cover after all these years.

I just have to move you to a new city?

No.

I mean, I know this city.

Once you start moving collectors around, we have

to start from scratch, build a new identity.

There's even more risk of your operations being exposed.

Thank you, dear boy. Feels good to know you're looking out for me.

But that's not the real reason you want to stay in Vancouver, is it?

You're getting too close to Junkie Girl, too.

By the way, she put out you?

I came here to talk about Nicky.

I've already given you a deal given to no other collector.

Am I supposed to give you all the answers to?

I just can't see what harm she's done to anyone by being thin.

You think too small. You need to get your eyes off that

little junkie and look around at the big wide world.

What do you mean?

Hello. Heard anything about the obesity epidemic and

how much worse things have gotten in the last decade?

You're saying Nicky Schillenberg is making the world fat?

All I'm saying is Nicky loves fast food and always has.

And now...

So does everybody else.

That can't just be her doing it.

And even if it was, what could she possibly do about it?

I guess you're just going to have to use that brain God gave you, huh?

Excuse me.

No.

I need them. They're prescription.

If people don't recognize you, it defeats the whole purpose.

You've got to use your fame to make a statement

about the harmful effects of fast food.

I could write an editorial for the paper.

You agreed to call the networks.

You said there'd be cameras here. Worldwide coverage.

You are not thinking this through.

I mean, I'm here to get out of this hell deal, right?

But after that, I'll still need my reputation.

How am I gonna get a job if people know I look like this?

The only thing I'll be good for is modeling hoop skirts.

Nikki, there's only 19 hours left and no extension for your TV shoot.

You've got to try and save yourself.

Fine.

All right, mister, I think you've had enough.

What are you doing?

Trying to save you from yourself.

Those are my fries.

Haven't you ever heard of heart disease?

Buy your own food, you freak.

Just trying to make it up to you, fatty.

Hey! Don't use that!

Give me that camera!

Now look what you've done!

You just made things a million times worse!

Thanks for nothing!

I don't know.

Please leave a message.

Nikki, it's me.

I heard you might be in trouble. The message center is full.

Have a nice date?

What?

We were just standing next to each other at a gallery.

I see why you didn't bring her home.

I'm not sure she'd want to date a guy whose decorating theme is urban decay.

We're not dating.

I just thought you'd have more class than to fall for some sex object.

I mean, yeah, okay, I took money for sex, but at least I objectified myself.

I was in control of that.

Just because I was on the streets doesn't mean I'm stupid, you know?

I was top of my class in high school.

I took physics.

I read poetry.

Dylan Thomas, Emily Dickinson, John Donne, and no one even knew who John Donne was,

and I knew all his stinking poems.

Like, uh... Like, Stay, Oh Sweet, and... And, uh... Something About Thine Eyes.

How about this?

Push him back. Push him back. Way back. First and ten.

Do it again. We like it. We like it.

You've got to take it easy. You were sick.

I wasn't sick. I was going to die.

Everything was so simple. All I had to do was wait.

Why'd you have to get in the way?

Why'd you have to make everything so complicated again?

I'm not gonna let you give up.

I've already been through the five stages of grieving.

Dieting, exercise, enemas, puking.

I had to bring home the fat so they wouldn't sell it to the tabloids.

All I've got left now is my face.

Why can't you just let me die?

Because I've seen what happens at the end.

What does happen?

There's a portal, and only the client and I can see it, hear it.

I don't want you to find out what it's like, Nikki.

You've got to keep trying.

Please.

Nikki?

Where are you? It's Lena. Tell her I'm out.

Uh, hi. Lena, Nikki's not here.

Oh, yes, the mystery man at the art gallery.

Just a friend.

Well, take her while you can.

The shelf life on her relationships is about half an hour. Where is she?

Well, tell her I got a call from that obnoxious

reporter yesterday asking insinuating questions.

And I expect to get several more calls from this.

And tell her she better look her absolute best for this TV

shoot today so we can dispel all these ridiculous rumors,

or she's finished at my agency.

Don't panic.

Look at the caption. They're not even sure it was you.

After you earn your redemption,

you can tell them it was someone who looked like you, only a little wider.

Someone who looks like me.

You want me to be you?

Yeah.

See, there's this shoot tonight, and well, I'm feeling a little bloated.

And since you're not famous like me, nobody knows what you look like.

So we can just play a little game of switcheroo until I'm feeling better?

Excuse us for just a second.

This is not addressing the problem.

You have eight hours left, and after that,

the ripping sound you hear is not gonna be your pants, okay?

It's gonna be your soul getting sucked out of your body.

Back off, Erin. Boy, I've got this all figured out.

I don't know why it didn't come to me earlier.

Men love me.

They'll do anything for me.

So? So, you get the devil to come to the shoot, and I'll do my own charm,

seduce him, and he'll let me out of my deal.

You don't know what you're dealing with. This isn't some guy.

This is an omniscient personification of evil.

He's not going to come to your ridiculous little fashion show.

Dial him.

On your phone.

Dial him.

Hello?

Is this the devil?

It's Nikki.

Oh, you do remember.

Yes, that was quite the night, you horny little goat, you.

Listen, I have a shoot tonight. There are lots of fun.

Will you come?

If that's your plan, then I am through trying to help you.

You're on your own.

Do you really think I'll be able to look enough like you to fool anybody?

Well, gotta hand it to you. I was stuck to that diet.

You were getting major porky for a while there.

I know. I felt so ugly, I stopped going outside.

I mean...

Not that it looks bad on you. Skip it.

It's only temporary.

Sit.

Well, anyway, it's really nice to see you. Yeah.

Gonna have to go with the number three foundation, cinnamon twist blush,

copper eyeshadow, and saffron lip gloss.

Maybe we can make the ugly duckling into a swan, huh?

Do you love God, Morgan?

Yes, Father.

He loves you more than either of us can comprehend.

Absolutely without condition.

Eternally.

So how can we return that love?

By proving our devotion to him.

By showing him that no matter the obstacles, no matter

the pain we must endure, we will never falter.

Never stop.

You've never gone out of your way for any client

in all the time I've worked for you.

And now you come running for this one?

Oh, no.

It's only fair to give Mickey a chance to make a case.

In fact, I think we should go see her right now.

Hi, I'm Nikki Schillenberg.

Hi, I'm Nikki Schillenberg. Geez, Nancy, have you ever heard of poise?

Nikki?

What?

I'm not Nikki.

She's Nikki.

I'm Nancy, the ugly fat one that was in the newspaper. This is him.

What's the matter, Nikki?

Don't you recognize me?

Well, actually, I remember you as being, you know, handsome, thin, white.

If you think about letting me out of this whole collection thing,

I could make the night we spent together seem like foreplay.

Oh, baby, that's a real tempting offer, except you're really, really fat. Oh!

Okay, look, I have to go talk to that guy some more. No, Nikki, don't.

If he can't see the beautiful person inside of you, then he's not worth it.

Just get out there and cover for me. No!

I don't want to be a part of this.

I want you to go out there and show them who you really are.

This is the sister I knew growing up, the sister I loved.

I don't know what you did to yourself to stay skinny

while you were modeling, but I'm glad it's over.

I'm glad to have my big Nikki back. Oh, sure.

It was easy to love the fat kid when we were growing up,

but I noticed that you didn't love it so much when you got fat.

But I got fat when you got thin, because, I guess, because I love you.

Because I sympathize with what you were going through.

No.

You got fat because I wished it on you.

What do you think of that?

I wished my fat on you!

What the hell do I do?

You asked for her to be fat as a part of your deal?

You tell me.

She's your redemption.

Right, like I'm going to apologize to her. She just walked out on me.

Well, screw it.

If I've got to pay a price to get out of this hell thing,

then I'll just pay it and get it over with.

And Nikki has proven to be the most successful of all the Borden models.

As we always say, no one loves the camera like it loves Nikki Schillenberg.

All right, that's it.

I want those cameras on me for a very important public service announcement.

Who in the world is that?

Here's the deal.

I think it's time we accept fat people as people too.

I mean, they're already fat.

Why make them feel worse by charging them for extra plane seats?

We should clear out whole rules for fat people. In fact,

let's start fat sections on airplanes.

I mean, we'd have to set them evenly on both sides so the plane doesn't tip over.

That's only fair, right?

There should be five sections of theaters, restaurants,

and extra public toilets for the big fat butts.

And we should have a national fat day, or ticket fat person to lunch day.

I don't really know if I'm saying this right, but you know what I mean, don't you?

Don't you? I mean, it's not a crime to be fat. It's natural.

I think you just lost it.

My sister, Nancy, was not in good health, but I'm sure she's gone to a better place.

So you will be going ahead with your Supermodel of the Decade special?

If they want to honor Nikki Schillenberg, then who am I to say no?

I decided to see what it would be like to clean up just for a laugh.

What's it like?

It sucks.

I look horrible. Go away.

That poem, it came back to me.

Stay, oh sweet, and do not rise.

The light that shines comes from thine eyes, and the day

Day breaks not, it is my heart, because that you and I must part.

Stay, or else my joys will die and perish in their infancy.