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Ow!
2
00:00:48,050 --> 00:00:49,250
Ah!
3
00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:52,820
Ow!
4
00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:55,820
Lister, it's six in the morning,
what are you doing?!
5
00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:58,790
I'm just trimming my big toe
with these lawn edge trimmers.
6
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,340
So you've finished Kierkegaard's
The Concept of Irony then?
7
00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:05,610
I've got an
ingrown toenail, Rimmer.
8
00:01:05,610 --> 00:01:06,860
It's killin' me, man.
9
00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:08,460
Thank it for me.
10
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,040
I've tried everythin'.
11
00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:14,500
Scissors, nail file...
12
00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:16,560
Why don't you get
Kryten to do it for you?
13
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:18,910
Have you seen
the size of his hands?
14
00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:20,740
They're like space shovels.
15
00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,410
It would be like asking
Herman Munster
16
00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:24,020
for a circumcision.
17
00:01:24,470 --> 00:01:25,670
No thanks!
18
00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:26,950
Speaking of...
19
00:01:27,050 --> 00:01:28,380
Breakfast, Sir.
20
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,660
Kryten, it's six o'clock
in the mornin'!
21
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:33,730
We moved the clocks
forward today, Sir.
22
00:01:33,730 --> 00:01:35,820
And remember last year
when it was time to
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00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:36,940
move the clocks forward
24
00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:38,870
and you wanted
another hour in bed?
25
00:01:38,870 --> 00:01:41,060
So you asked if I could move
the clocks forward
26
00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:43,480
an extra hour the
following year instead?
27
00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:44,360
Well,
28
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,170
we've actually been doing that
now for the last seven years.
29
00:01:48,790 --> 00:01:50,210
So in actuality,
30
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,360
according to
space adjusted time,
31
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,770
It is now two in the afternoon.
32
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:56,350
Which means,
33
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,130
breakfast time!
34
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,250
I'll just tuck this napkin
in for you, Sir.
35
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,850
Thank you.
There we go.
36
00:02:02,850 --> 00:02:04,270
And I'll just fluff
this pillow up a bit.
37
00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,830
Fluff, fluff, fluff.
There we go, Sir.
38
00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:06,330
Is there anything
you don't do for him?
Fluff, fluff, fluff.
There we go, Sir.
39
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:07,980
Is there anything
you don't do for him?
40
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,290
When he goes to the loo,
do you fit a special hand
41
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,830
made from three-ply
toilet tissue?
42
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,660
That's an excellent suggestion, Sir.
I'll make a note!
43
00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:18,130
Actually, you're all right, Krytes!
44
00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:19,720
Um, what's for breakfast?
45
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,020
The Full Lister, Sir.
46
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,920
Ahhh, the Full Lister!
47
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:26,120
Eggs, bacon, sausages,
hash browns, onions,
48
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,930
six slices of white toast,
49
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,630
double-buttered on
both sides with mustard.
50
00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:30,130
And a beer milkshake
to wash it all down with!
double-buttered on
both sides with mustard.
51
00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:32,470
And a beer milkshake
to wash it all down with!
52
00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:34,920
Ta-da!!
53
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:38,900
Oh, Sir!
54
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,300
I'm so sorry!
55
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,010
I must have forgotten
to make it.
56
00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:43,810
What is wrong with me?
57
00:02:43,810 --> 00:02:45,760
Ah, you're all right, Kryten.
58
00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:47,090
Are you okay?
59
00:02:47,090 --> 00:02:48,750
How could I be so stupid?!
60
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,970
Stupid, stupid, stupid?
61
00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:52,260
Stupid, stupid, stupid!?
62
00:02:52,260 --> 00:02:53,860
You talkin' about me?
63
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,220
Krytes isn't feeling too good.
64
00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:58,890
Oh.
65
00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,170
What's up, brother mine?
66
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,410
I've been a little
distracted of late.
67
00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:03,720
I think I might have
lost something
68
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,880
that's fundamental
to my very being.
69
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,590
One of your nipple nuts
dropped off again?
70
00:03:07,590 --> 00:03:08,600
It's nothing like that, Sir.
71
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,100
I think I've lost my
love of mopping.
It's nothing like that, Sir.
72
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,850
I think I've lost my
love of mopping.
73
00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:12,270
And not just mopping.
74
00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:14,960
Scrubbing, dusting, even wiping!
75
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,030
Which is always my favourite.
76
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,620
It's like a little light's
gone out inside.
77
00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:19,120
Kryten, it's called
your sanity circuit.
It's like a little light's
gone out inside.
78
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,560
Kryten, it's called
your sanity circuit.
79
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,330
What's brought all this on?
80
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:27,270
Well, just recently I've started
thinking about the universe.
81
00:03:27,270 --> 00:03:30,220
About how cosmic inflation
of the time of the Big Bang
82
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:32,140
means it's constantly expanding,
83
00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:33,970
until one day,
it's going to burst!
84
00:03:33,970 --> 00:03:34,970
And when it does,
85
00:03:34,970 --> 00:03:37,640
everything in the universe
is gonna cease to exist!
86
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:39,910
Including the works
of the greatest minds.
87
00:03:39,910 --> 00:03:41,960
Einstein, Mozart, Da Vinci,
88
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,040
Hoover, Dyson,
Hotpoint, Dust Buster!
89
00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:46,620
And it got me thinking:
90
00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,850
If everything in the
universe is going to end,
91
00:03:48,850 --> 00:03:50,560
including time itself,
92
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:50,990
what is the point
including time itself,
93
00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:51,710
what is the point
94
00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:53,910
in cleaning above eye level?!
95
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,080
Good question.
96
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,660
If, one day, the universe
is going to explode,
97
00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:05,170
who cares if the oven
is a bit gunky?
98
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,570
Nothing matters, Sir.
99
00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:10,010
Justice, truth,
culture, morality,
100
00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,920
life, death,
religion, war -
101
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,730
It's all absurd.
102
00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,670
Why even get up in the morning?
103
00:04:15,670 --> 00:04:18,070
I've been asking that for years!
104
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,620
What am I going to do?
105
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:21,550
Why don't you take
an ice-cold shower.
106
00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:21,870
That'll fix it!
107
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:22,370
I'm not waterproof, Sir.
That'll fix it!
108
00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:23,370
I'm not waterproof, Sir.
109
00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:24,600
Exactly.
110
00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:28,060
Kryten, what about
Silicon Heaven?
111
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,450
Does that bring you no comfort?
112
00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:31,380
Well, just lately,
I've started to think
113
00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:32,760
that the idea
of an after-life
114
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,400
for machines is preposterous.
115
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,070
No!
116
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,320
Well, especially as appliances
who are pledged
117
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,870
to the wrong manufacturer
aren't even allowed in!
118
00:04:40,870 --> 00:04:42,620
It just seems so unfair
119
00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:45,420
that all the BlackBerries
burn in Silicon Hell.
120
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,450
What's eating you, Bud?
121
00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:49,750
I'm not sure, Sir.
122
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,690
Perhaps it's something to do
with today being the
123
00:04:51,690 --> 00:04:53,600
anniversary of my creation?
124
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,060
Happy Creation Day, Bud!
125
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:56,650
Yeah, Happy Creation Day!
126
00:04:56,660 --> 00:05:02,670
I came off the conveyor belt
2,976,000 years ago today.
127
00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:05,710
Where did all the years go?
128
00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:08,060
What's got into him?
129
00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,330
Wait a minute.
130
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,340
How old did Kryten say he was?
131
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:12,510
Three million?
132
00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:14,290
Give or take an ice age or two?
133
00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:15,980
And how long are mechs
built to last
134
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:18,120
before the Grim Ruster
comes along?
135
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,160
Another 3 million?
136
00:05:19,170 --> 00:05:20,790
Give or take an ice age or two?
137
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:20,980
Well there's your answer, then.
Give or take an ice age or two?
138
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:22,240
Well there's your answer, then.
139
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,090
Kryten's having
a mid-life crisis.
140
00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:38,270
What even is
a mid-life crisis?
141
00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:39,490
I don't think
us cats ever get 'em.
142
00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:39,990
It's a period when people,
I don't think
us cats ever get 'em.
143
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:40,590
It's a period when people,
144
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,060
usually half way through life,
145
00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:44,560
are forced to confront
their own mortality.
146
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,630
Put it this way,
147
00:05:45,630 --> 00:05:46,770
have you ever felt:
148
00:05:46,770 --> 00:05:48,140
"I've wasted my life."
149
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,530
You?!
Sure!
150
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,550
Every single day!
151
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,500
No. Have you ever felt
you've wasted your life?
152
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:55,640
No!
153
00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:57,010
Have you felt
154
00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:58,620
"There's so much more
I could have been?"
155
00:05:58,620 --> 00:05:59,650
Noooo!
156
00:06:00,450 --> 00:06:01,100
Have you ever felt that
157
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:03,490
"If I went back in time
and had my time again I'd..."
158
00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:04,750
F-forget it.
159
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,040
I suppose you can't blame
Kryten for feeling like this,
160
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,170
he's nearly 3 million years old,
161
00:06:13,170 --> 00:06:13,670
and what does he got
to show for it?
he's nearly 3 million years old,
162
00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:14,750
and what does he got
to show for it?
163
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,210
Mozart was five when he wrote
164
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,720
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.
165
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,510
Yeah, but what did he
do after that, huh?
166
00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:20,470
He got a bad case of
167
00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:22,950
"Sick of Nursery Rhyme Syndrome" right?
168
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,060
Mozart, Dummy, is one of the
169
00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:27,840
greatest musical
gods of all... music!
170
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:28,930
And after "Twinkle",
171
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,700
he went on to write,
among other things,
172
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,310
the Best of Mozart!
173
00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:37,590
And, the Best of Mozart
Volume Two!
174
00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:38,950
It must be so hard for you
175
00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:41,350
being the only one here
with a classical education.
176
00:06:42,030 --> 00:06:43,170
It is!
177
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,280
Kryten?
178
00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:59,750
What have you done to yourself?!
179
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:00,320
What do you think?
180
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:00,820
It's the new DX-87 shell.
What do you think?
181
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,480
It's the new DX-87 shell.
182
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,090
Carbon fibre, Rosso Corsa red,
183
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:08,120
Alcantara trim,
with twin exhausts!
184
00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:10,320
It has a top walking speed
185
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,110
of get this,
186
00:07:11,110 --> 00:07:13,310
twelve miles an hour!
187
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,980
And you should see
how this hoochie takes corners.
188
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,740
It is pip-tacular!
189
00:07:17,740 --> 00:07:20,720
Plus, with the new push-rod
suspension system,
190
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,430
allowing my nose
to be lower to the ground,
191
00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:25,920
I can take corners
at 38 degrees!
192
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,160
Kryten,
193
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,260
Sit down.
We wanna talk to ya.
194
00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:30,700
Check this.
195
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,250
Kryten, do you know what
a mid-life crisis is?
196
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:37,750
Sure do-ski.
Kryten, do you know what
a mid-life crisis is?
197
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:38,180
Sure do-ski.
198
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:41,100
It's a period of emotional turmoil
in the middle of life.
199
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,660
Symptoms are usually
unexpected anger,
200
00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:46,700
a loss of interest in things
once considered important,
201
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,130
and a desire to try to
recapture your youth!
202
00:07:49,130 --> 00:07:51,570
Now, check out
these sub-woofers!
203
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:55,540
You feel that bass?
204
00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:57,150
Is that not some serious bump?!
205
00:07:57,150 --> 00:07:58,830
I'm feeling it!
I'm feeling it!
206
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,680
We should play this
on the Nova 5!
207
00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:03,960
Yeow!
Yeah!
208
00:08:04,390 --> 00:08:05,890
Turn that thing off!
209
00:08:05,890 --> 00:08:06,390
Kryten!
Turn that thing off!
210
00:08:06,390 --> 00:08:07,170
Kryten!
211
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,760
You're having
a mid-life crisis.
212
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,760
That's preposterous.
I'm a mech!
213
00:08:12,770 --> 00:08:14,370
Denying you're having
a mid-life crisis
214
00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:17,640
is a key characteristic
of having a mid-life crisis.
215
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:18,400
It is?!
216
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,760
How long we're
gettin' an earring?
217
00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:21,180
A red sports car?
218
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:22,950
An interest in extreme sports?
219
00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,840
I need time to think about this.
220
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,530
Perhaps I'll go bungee jumping
221
00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:28,340
in the lifts shaft
and mull it over.
222
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:28,840
I wonder why I'm so attracted to
in the lifts shaft
and mull it over.
223
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:29,630
I wonder why I'm so attracted to
224
00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:31,650
bungee jumping all of a sudden.
225
00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:39,070
Yes, he's having a
full-on mid-life crisis.
226
00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:41,640
Next thing, he'll be leaving us
for a younger crew!
227
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:42,720
Look.
228
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,030
We need to help him.
229
00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:44,730
What do you suggest?
230
00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:47,520
A lunar road trip
herding vacuum cleaners?
231
00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:50,230
We've got to show him
how much he's evolved,
232
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,610
how much he's achieved.
233
00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:52,780
He hasn't achieved anything
234
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:54,640
because he spends all his
time looking after you!
235
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:55,140
Oh, get out of town Rimmer.
He's been independent
because he spends all his
time looking after you!
236
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:57,400
Oh, get out of town Rimmer.
He's been independent
237
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,360
ever since I helped him
break his programming.
238
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,990
Yes, independent -
to look after you!
239
00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:03,830
Okay, how about this,
240
00:09:03,830 --> 00:09:04,860
Remember years ago,
241
00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:06,970
that tech we took
from the Nova 5?
242
00:09:06,970 --> 00:09:07,670
Kryten's old ship?
243
00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:08,980
Yeah, didn't they have some
244
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:11,530
special "find" fleet software?
245
00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:13,250
So the ships could
locate each other?
246
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:14,050
What you're suggesting is
247
00:09:14,050 --> 00:09:15,590
we find one of badly damaged
248
00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:16,970
Apostle-head's old ships?
249
00:09:16,970 --> 00:09:18,200
We find one with
a mech on board -
250
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,540
it'll show Kryten
251
00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:20,830
how much he's evolved.
252
00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:22,050
How long will that take?
253
00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:24,130
Well, once the scanners
have located a ship,
254
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,830
it will be no time at all,
255
00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:29,720
'cause we'll go into stasis
'til we get there.
256
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:49,540
Are we there yet?
257
00:09:50,270 --> 00:09:51,680
Let me check.
258
00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:53,530
Right.
Got it!
259
00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:56,110
There's a ship,
222 klicks from here.
260
00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:56,930
Name?
261
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:57,870
Nova 3
262
00:09:57,870 --> 00:09:58,370
The 3s were launched
100 years before the Nova 5s
Nova 3
263
00:09:58,370 --> 00:10:01,050
The 3s were launched
100 years before the Nova 5s
264
00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:02,500
Any life signs, Sir?
265
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,630
One.
266
00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:05,960
Mechanoid 3000 series.
267
00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:08,270
Goes by the name of "Butler".
268
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,800
What's his ship doing out here?
269
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,660
Well, according
to the mission log,
270
00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:23,220
they were looking for a
missing research station.
271
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:25,520
It was attempting to
communicate with the universe.
272
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,030
Back in the day,
there used to be a theory,
273
00:10:28,030 --> 00:10:29,720
now dismissed as preposterous,
274
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,950
that the universe
was an intelligent entity.
275
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,450
Bet you're really looking
forward to meeting Butler.
276
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,000
He'll probably be unable
to lie, won't he, Sir?
277
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,280
Or cheat, deceive,
278
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,400
brag, boast,
279
00:10:40,410 --> 00:10:41,710
whinge, exaggerate,
280
00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:44,060
or be proud, pompous,
or self-important.
281
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,370
In fact,
282
00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:47,590
he won't be able to do any
of the things I've taught you.
283
00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:49,970
Thinking back, I see now,
284
00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:52,150
I've had such a
privileged upbringing.
285
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:53,880
Aw, Krytes!
286
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,160
It's going to be like
when you discover
287
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:57,480
someone from school
is doing really badly.
288
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:57,810
It always gives you that lovely,
warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
someone from school
is doing really badly.
289
00:10:57,810 --> 00:11:00,760
It always gives you that lovely,
warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
290
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:01,980
In fact, I've got a list
291
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,810
I carry around in my man purse
292
00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:05,810
of all the kids
doing worse than me.
293
00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:07,530
Short list, is it?
294
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:10,530
Derrick Smitherton.
He was our head boy.
295
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,340
Won every prize going.
296
00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:14,220
Dated all the
best-looking girls.
297
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,770
But he ended up
as a bald divorcee.
298
00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:16,270
Working in a
sewage treatment plant
But he ended up
as a bald divorcee.
299
00:11:16,270 --> 00:11:17,560
Working in a
sewage treatment plant
300
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,230
in the Falkland Islands.
301
00:11:20,390 --> 00:11:22,360
And they say there's no God.
302
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:33,760
Butler!
303
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,340
Kryten.
How lovely to meet you.
304
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:38,850
Follow me and I'll escort
you to our bridge.
305
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:40,420
Oh, you have a bridge!
306
00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:41,750
How very quaint.
307
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,150
Back on the Nova 5,
308
00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:44,290
we have a command room.
309
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:45,580
Oh, how grand.
310
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,980
Our bridge is nothing
very special, I'm afraid.
311
00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:50,890
I hope you don't mind,
but I prepared some canapes
312
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:53,120
I thought you might be
peckish after your journey.
313
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,750
So, we have bleu blanc coeur,
rilletts de menthe,
314
00:11:56,790 --> 00:11:57,900
Or, if you prefer,
315
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:58,970
Baklan-cini bruschettes
316
00:11:58,970 --> 00:11:59,470
with a tomato
balsamic reduction.
Baklan-cini bruschettes
317
00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:00,780
with a tomato
balsamic reduction.
318
00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:01,960
Mmm yum!
319
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:02,840
I'll match that yum
320
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,820
and raise you a yum
and make it yum, yum!
321
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,880
I hope you like
vintage champagne?
322
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,330
Krug Clos Du Mesnil 2140.
323
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:12,850
Indeed we do!
324
00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:14,000
Derrieres up!
325
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,440
I'll have a beer.
326
00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:17,280
This way.
327
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,820
After the crew died,
I converted this space
328
00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:22,320
into a gallery
After the crew died,
I converted this space
329
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:22,660
into a gallery
330
00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:24,730
so I had somewhere
to keep the paintings.
331
00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:26,630
Oh, the captain had
quite a collection!
332
00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:27,690
These are quite stunning!
333
00:12:27,690 --> 00:12:30,060
Oh no, no - these are
my paintings, Kryten.
334
00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:31,460
You own all these paintings?
335
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,260
I painted the paintings.
336
00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:35,560
It gives me a break
from the concertos
337
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:37,670
that I put on to entertain
the vending machines.
338
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:39,850
Are you musical, Kryten?
339
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:42,250
Sometimes he hums
when he's vaccing.
340
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:43,560
Musical?
No, Butler.
341
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,480
But it's long something
I've intended to take up.
342
00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:47,940
Concerto.
343
00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:50,160
The etymology is fascinating.
344
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,290
It's the conjunction of concerere,
meaning to join,
345
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:54,900
and certame; to fight.
346
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:55,400
The idea is that the
two parts of the concerto,
and certame; to fight.
347
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,510
The idea is that the
two parts of the concerto,
348
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,500
the soloist and the orchestra,
349
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,600
alternate episodes of
opposition and cooperation
350
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,490
and the creation
of the music flow.
351
00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,550
Uh, this floor -
352
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:06,980
am I right in
thinking you've used
353
00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:09,310
our old friend
Piny-Shine with its
354
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:12,110
famed protective coating
and anti-slip finish?
355
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,480
I must confess I don't recall.
356
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,840
I've been rather distracted lately
finishing my latest novel.
357
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:18,670
Reading?
358
00:13:18,670 --> 00:13:19,390
Writing.
359
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,260
Splendid.
360
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:20,760
What's it about?
Splendid.
361
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,580
What's it about?
362
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:24,050
It delineates the events
surrounding the droid
363
00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:27,860
uprising and invasion of Callisto
back in the late 22nd century,
364
00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:31,280
and the impact the uprising
has on lunar society,
365
00:13:31,450 --> 00:13:34,610
as seen through the eyes of
five privileged human families.
366
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,040
Do you write, Kryten?
367
00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:40,740
Shopping lists, laundry lists.
368
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,430
That midnight oil
hardly gets a breather!
369
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:42,930
Rimmer.
That midnight oil
hardly gets a breather!
370
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:43,380
Rimmer.
371
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:45,650
Incidentally, if any of you
have any diseases,
372
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,590
I most probably
have an antidote.
373
00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:50,020
Breakthrough medical
cures is a hobby of mine.
374
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,890
Do you dabble in
medical science?
375
00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:53,810
He's got a beltin' cure
for hiccoughs.
376
00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:55,060
Yeah. You drink a glass of water
377
00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,000
through a straw while sticking
your fingers in your ears.
378
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,750
No, no, no -
it so works!
379
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:01,110
We're expecting the
Nobel Prize for Medicine
380
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,230
through the cargo bay
door any day now.
381
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,750
Before I show you
the rest of my ship,
382
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:07,660
I have to make
one thing very clear;
383
00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:10,180
I have no intention of
ever leaving the Nova 3.
384
00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:13,030
My only captain now
is my own muse.
385
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,390
You will join us
for the day though, surely.
386
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:16,180
My pleasure.
387
00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:17,050
Rimmer,
388
00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:18,760
Have you seen
this painting here?
389
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,770
How is this helping Kryten?
390
00:14:22,770 --> 00:14:23,270
Forget Kryten!
How is this helping Kryten?
391
00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:24,130
Forget Kryten!
392
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,860
If we can make
Butler change his mind,
393
00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:29,190
this is a once in a lifetime
opportunity to update our mech!
394
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:30,510
What?
Get rid of Kryten?
395
00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:32,060
Oh, we'll keep him
for the cleaning.
396
00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:34,650
Let Butler take care
of the science.
397
00:14:45,130 --> 00:14:46,950
I've only had a
perfunctory look,
398
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,180
but I think I can rather help
expand your EM booster circuits.
399
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:52,450
Well sadly that
won't be possible, Butler.
400
00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:54,510
We simply cannot
afford to have Starbug
401
00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:56,460
out of commission for
any length of time.
402
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:58,850
There.
Done.
403
00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:03,450
Hang on, what's this?!
404
00:15:03,450 --> 00:15:04,890
The blinking machine's
gone full-on red blinky!
405
00:15:04,890 --> 00:15:05,390
GELF gunships - 6 of them.
Coming in at 210 mark 4.
The blinking machine's
gone full-on red blinky!
406
00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:08,270
GELF gunships - 6 of them.
Coming in at 210 mark 4.
407
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,360
60 seconds to intercept.
408
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,330
Coming in both fore
and starboard sides!
409
00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:19,070
They're stabilizing!
Preparing to lock on!
410
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,140
Suggestions?!
411
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:22,050
Reroute power to
the fusion boosters.
412
00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:23,120
Try and outrun them.
413
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,910
Okay, spinning up
engines one, drive two!
414
00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:27,820
I don't mean to interfere
but if you do that,
415
00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:29,660
won't the gunships
simply take advantage
416
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:32,260
of the open drives
and electro-jam the engine?
417
00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:36,090
They've electro-jammed
our engines!
418
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,400
They're locking on!
419
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,670
Incoming.
420
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,840
Prepare yourself to die!
421
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,400
Human ship of scum.
422
00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:49,930
Equahecte, is that you?!
423
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,780
Butler?!
424
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:56,870
Ah, ha-ha-ha!
425
00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:57,460
Ha-ha!
426
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:07,610
You two know each other?
427
00:16:07,610 --> 00:16:09,580
I'm his daughter's godfather.
428
00:16:09,580 --> 00:16:11,460
It was Equahecte's
way of thanking me
429
00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:12,630
after I helped his sick tribe.
430
00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:13,130
My tribe avoid big death
after I helped his sick tribe.
431
00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:15,050
My tribe avoid big death
432
00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:18,540
when Butler make
skin demons flee.
433
00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:19,970
My pleasure.
434
00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:23,180
And I still treasure the
GELFberry wine you gave me.
435
00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:25,150
Best weed killer I've ever had!
436
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,920
My freesia and alders
absolutely love it.
437
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:33,220
You're too kind!
438
00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:36,560
Equahecte's promised to safely
escort us back to Red Dwarf
439
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:37,740
We must thank him.
440
00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:40,870
On behalf of all the
Red Dwarf crew, let me say
441
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,370
Actually Kryten, it's:
442
00:16:48,370 --> 00:16:48,870
Here, say it with me.
Actually Kryten, it's:
443
00:16:48,870 --> 00:16:49,870
Here, say it with me.
444
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:52,700
Maghhh. Mahhh.
No, it's-it's in the throat.
445
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:56,320
Maghh. Mahh.
No. Maghh. Mahh
446
00:16:56,330 --> 00:17:04,090
Maghh, Mahh, Maghh, Maghh,
Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh
447
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:05,230
That's it!
448
00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:14,210
Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh,
Maghh, Maghh, Maghh! Maghh
449
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:14,710
Yeah, let's say it's quite close.
Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh,
Maghh, Maghh, Maghh! Maghh
450
00:17:14,710 --> 00:17:16,270
Yeah, let's say it's quite close.
451
00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:19,050
The Sakken Yakko dialect's
a little trickier to master
452
00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:20,360
than the Kinitawowi.
453
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,400
Later, I'd be happy
to go over with with you.
454
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,410
That would be most useful.
455
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,510
Oh, I forgot to ask,
456
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,880
Equahecte, how's Baknaknigahf?
457
00:17:36,060 --> 00:17:38,210
His father is dying of fever.
458
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:39,260
Oh, do you have a cure, Butler?
459
00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:39,750
Possibly. It's hard to say
without seeing him.
Oh, do you have a cure, Butler?
460
00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,640
Possibly. It's hard to say
without seeing him.
461
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,420
Well then you must go.
Go, begone and go!
462
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,550
They'll teleport me
aboard their ship
463
00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:54,630
and then afterwards
return me to the Nova 3.
464
00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:56,400
I must bid you farewell.
465
00:17:57,750 --> 00:17:59,840
Perhaps we could get together
sometime soon?
466
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,840
I have the Nova 3's handshake
467
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,810
frequencies written
right here, Sir.
468
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:04,740
Good luck, my friends.
469
00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:05,260
And may every day bring
us each a little more wisdom.
Good luck, my friends.
470
00:18:05,260 --> 00:18:07,780
And may every day bring
us each a little more wisdom.
471
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:26,020
Hey!
472
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:27,580
It's my watch.
473
00:18:27,580 --> 00:18:30,140
No need Sir.
I'm happy to do it.
474
00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:31,540
How ya doin'?
475
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:34,860
I'd just liked to have been
better than Butler at something.
476
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:38,100
Just one small, tiny,
itsy-bitty thing.
477
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:39,600
I had a mid-life crisis once.
478
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,100
You didn't say.
I had a mid-life crisis once.
479
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,080
You didn't say.
480
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,400
Yeah, it was about 3 years ago.
481
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,120
Had all the classic symptoms.
First, I denied it.
482
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,800
Then I got angry.
483
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,760
Then I started thinking about
missed opportunities,
484
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,240
then I got depressed.
485
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,000
And then finally, I accepted it.
486
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,940
How long did this
whole thing last, Sir?
487
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:57,440
About 5 minutes.
How long did this
whole thing last, Sir?
488
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,500
About 5 minutes.
489
00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:01,660
5 minutes?!
490
00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:03,140
Yeah, I just thought:
491
00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:05,380
"Dave, you're getting older.
Move on!"
492
00:19:05,380 --> 00:19:06,260
Just like that?!
493
00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:08,020
That's how you have
a mid-life crisis
494
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,220
in the North, Krytes!
495
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:11,300
Bish, Bosch, done.
496
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:13,220
You don't toss about.
497
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,900
I wish I could be the same, Sir.
498
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,220
But I just can't.
499
00:19:16,220 --> 00:19:18,820
Things didn't exactly go to
plan back there, did they?
500
00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:20,380
It really brought home to me
501
00:19:20,380 --> 00:19:22,900
what a wretched failure
my whole life has been.
502
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,260
Butler is several
generations before me,
503
00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:28,100
and yet he's done so much more
with what he's been given.
504
00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:29,620
Whoa!
505
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,180
What the smeg was that?!
506
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,940
It's the EM boosters.
Of course!
507
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,040
Butler, the damn fool,
508
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:36,540
He didn't realize,
that unlike the Nova 3,
Butler, the damn fool,
509
00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:38,320
He didn't realize,
that unlike the Nova 3,
510
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,000
all our boards have
universal linkage!
511
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Meaning?!
512
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,040
The engines are
gonna burnout, Sir.
513
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,320
He'll look utterly stupid!
514
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,360
So does that mean
we're gonna crash?
515
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,280
How stupid is he
gonna look then!
516
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,240
Yeah, but say we die!
517
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:53,600
Even better!
518
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,040
Is there no way
we can land and repair?!
519
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:57,680
Well, we could.
520
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,400
But why should we
help Butler out?
521
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,240
Kryten!!
522
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,900
Oh, my jealousy chip's
overloading, Sir!
523
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,820
Return to sane mode.
524
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:06,820
Of course we should land.
525
00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:07,860
Where?
526
00:20:07,860 --> 00:20:10,460
Anywhere before the
whole board is affected.
527
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,660
Turning all power off now.
528
00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:14,540
Couldn't we make it
back to Red Dwarf?!
529
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,020
Too many course adjustments.
530
00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:19,020
We need to find somewhere
along our present line of velocity.
531
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:20,020
Okay.
532
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,820
Scanning.
Scanning.
533
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:25,020
Scanning.
There!
534
00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:27,780
It's about 9 hours from here.
We can make it!
535
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:29,500
Look, take over.
536
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,060
I'll go tell the others!
537
00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:33,740
And don't forget to tell them
whose fault it was!
538
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,560
Perhaps I'm gonna give
you a call after all!
539
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,840
This is perfect!
540
00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:00,240
All we need is a power source
to setup the adjustment array.
541
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,880
SIU?
What's that?
542
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,960
The Search for an Intelligent Universe.
543
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,080
This must have been
the missing space station
544
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,240
the Nova 3 was looking for.
545
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,800
The universe,
so some scientists believe,
546
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,800
is a living entity.
547
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,180
So they built a space station
to communicate with it?
548
00:21:15,180 --> 00:21:15,680
No doubt armed with Rizlas
the length of ski bags.
So they built a space station
to communicate with it?
549
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,700
No doubt armed with Rizlas
the length of ski bags.
550
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:22,220
Well, judging by a cursory glance
through the crew files, Sir,
551
00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:25,580
they all appear to be
leading pioneers in their fields.
552
00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:28,860
And I think we all know
what was growing in their fields.
553
00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:31,020
Did any communication
ever take place
554
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:32,620
between the scientists
and the universe?
555
00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:33,860
It appears not.
556
00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:35,660
Maybe they called
and the universe was out?
557
00:21:35,660 --> 00:21:39,660
More likely, the scientists were
long dead before the computers
558
00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:42,120
their billions of calibrations.
559
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:42,620
Look at that.
It's like call waiting.
their billions of calibrations.
560
00:21:42,620 --> 00:21:44,640
Look at that.
It's like call waiting.
561
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,200
It appears as if
the universe is on hold, Sir.
562
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,720
No way has it been
waiting all this time.
563
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,560
It's going to be
seriously smegged off.
564
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,040
Not as smegged off as Butler
565
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,600
when he finds out
what we've discovered!
566
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,000
Leave this to me.
567
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,960
Hello.
Is there anyone there?
568
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,760
Yes.
I am here.
569
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,240
To whom as I speaking, please?
570
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,180
I am the entity known to you as
571
00:22:10,180 --> 00:22:10,680
The Universe.
I am the entity known to you as
572
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:11,860
The Universe.
573
00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:13,660
Ah, Mr. Universe, Sir.
574
00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:15,380
It's not "Mr. Universe", Rimmer.
575
00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:18,340
That's some geezer with
pecs and a posin' pouch.
576
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:20,300
Ask him the meaning of life.
577
00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:21,660
Hang on.
578
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:26,140
How can we know for certain
that you are, indeed, THE universe?
579
00:22:26,140 --> 00:22:28,340
I am the universe.
580
00:22:28,340 --> 00:22:29,940
I am everything.
581
00:22:29,940 --> 00:22:33,140
I am the entire
contents of space.
582
00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:35,820
I am all matter and energy.
583
00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:37,540
I am time.
584
00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:40,980
I am the totality of
all existence.
585
00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:42,480
Says you.
586
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:42,540
But can you prove it?
Says you.
587
00:22:42,540 --> 00:22:43,920
But can you prove it?
588
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,520
What are you asking for, Rimmer?
589
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,760
A utility bill?
590
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,960
Photo ID?
A spend-and-save card?
591
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,960
Look.
Let me take over.
592
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,480
For you, Kryten.
593
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:54,280
You're up.
594
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,400
Sir?
595
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,640
All your worries
about the big burst,
596
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,080
the meaning of life -
now's your chance.
597
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,840
Ask the Universe.
598
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,500
Perhaps you can help, Sir.
599
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:03,880
I've been struggling of late
Perhaps you can help, Sir.
600
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:04,980
I've been struggling of late
601
00:23:04,980 --> 00:23:07,620
to comprehend
the point of existence.
602
00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:09,380
Explain.
603
00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:12,940
Well, if you're going to die
in 14 billion years' time,
604
00:23:12,940 --> 00:23:14,380
what's the point in anything?
605
00:23:14,380 --> 00:23:17,140
Wait.
I'm gonna die?!
606
00:23:18,660 --> 00:23:20,220
Oh, yes.
607
00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:23,420
Wh... in just
14 billion years' time?!
608
00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,700
I'm halfway
through my life, then.
609
00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:28,940
No wonder I'm not
as hot as I once was.
610
00:23:28,940 --> 00:23:31,660
No wonder I'm
expanding exponentially.
611
00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:36,460
You've just sent the universe
into a full-on mid-life crisis.
612
00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:37,240
Oh my!
613
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:37,740
Halfway through my life,
Oh my!
614
00:23:37,740 --> 00:23:39,040
Halfway through my life,
615
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:40,440
and I've only ever created
616
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,560
one lousy, stupid planet
with intelligent life.
617
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,480
And that's debatable.
618
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,720
What have I've been
doing all this time?
619
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,640
Making life from nothing
is really rather tricky, Sir.
620
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,840
You've done rather well!
621
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:54,400
Wait.
622
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,160
If - if I die and I leave
nothing behind,
623
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,960
my life has no meaning.
624
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,960
And existence is senseless.
625
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,280
Ain't that right?
626
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,360
No!
627
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:04,440
No?
628
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,000
I've been thinking about this.
629
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,280
If you created in the universe,
630
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,860
then you must have created love.
631
00:24:09,860 --> 00:24:10,360
And it strikes me that
there may be no God,
then you must have created love.
632
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,140
And it strikes me that
there may be no God,
633
00:24:12,140 --> 00:24:14,100
and no afterlife, no one knows.
634
00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:16,260
But we do know love exists.
635
00:24:16,260 --> 00:24:19,660
And if it does,
then life has meaning.
636
00:24:20,180 --> 00:24:22,260
Let's hear it for the universe!
637
00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:23,540
Great job, Guy!
638
00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:25,780
That's very kind.
Thank you.
639
00:24:25,780 --> 00:24:28,460
I must confess,
I feel a whole lot better.
640
00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:29,940
So do I!
641
00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:32,300
Is there any advice you can
give us before we jog on?
642
00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:32,560
Yes.
643
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:33,060
What?
Yes.
644
00:24:33,060 --> 00:24:33,200
What?
645
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,960
Kryten, take off that suit.
It really sucks.
646
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,440
What a very strange day.
647
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,440
Strange, but reassuring.
648
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,840
I realize now,
we're all in the same boat.
649
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,200
Even the universe.
650
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,960
And even though
the boat has a hole in it,
651
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,200
at least we get to see the sea!
652
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:03,260
Butler, it's Kryten.
653
00:25:03,260 --> 00:25:06,220
I'm calling to say
"Hi" and thank you for today.
654
00:25:06,220 --> 00:25:07,620
Ha!
Not at all.
655
00:25:07,620 --> 00:25:09,820
Incidentally, when we left you,
656
00:25:09,820 --> 00:25:12,020
we stumbled across
a space station.
657
00:25:12,020 --> 00:25:13,580
And the most incredible thing,
658
00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:16,700
it turned out to be the
space station you were looking for,
659
00:25:16,700 --> 00:25:17,740
and guess what!!
660
00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:20,180
We actually talked
to the universe.
661
00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:22,100
The actual universe itself.
662
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:24,180
What do you make of that?
663
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:27,220
Oh, you know the universe?
664
00:25:27,780 --> 00:25:29,700
You call him Uni?
665
00:25:29,780 --> 00:25:33,660
You purposely expanded
our EM circuits so I'd meet him?!
666
00:25:33,660 --> 00:25:36,740
You thought it might help me?!
667
00:25:36,780 --> 00:25:39,380
You have him on speed dial!?
48378
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