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1
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:41,300
Ah! Morning, sir. Ohh!
2
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:45,260
I just love the hum of the air con first
thing in the morning. Don't you, sir?
3
00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:47,780
Makes you just wanna
leap out of bed and mop!
4
00:00:49,260 --> 00:00:51,660
- (DEJECTEDLY) Morning, Krytes.
- Oh, something wrong, sir?
5
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:53,260
Something getting you down?
6
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:56,980
Is it that you're the last human being
alive with no life, no family,
7
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,340
no future, no prospects, no hope, is it...
8
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,660
Is it something to do with that, sir?
9
00:01:01,780 --> 00:01:03,380
Somethin' to do with that, Kryten, yeah.
10
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:06,420
You're missing the human race again,
aren't you, sir?
11
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:09,100
Really missing 'em today, Krytes.
12
00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:11,220
I just can't believe it's all over.
13
00:01:11,340 --> 00:01:12,980
I've been lookin' at
some old pictures of them,
14
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,540
remind me of the old days.
15
00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:16,380
Look, there's a picture
of them going to work.
16
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:17,500
Oh.
17
00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:20,140
Commuters, mm.
18
00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:21,300
There's another one. Look.
19
00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:23,260
- They're all laughing.
- Oh!
20
00:01:23,380 --> 00:01:24,780
New Years, Titan.
21
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:27,260
We were so happy back then, Kryt.
22
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:30,380
I had a species, I thought
the two of us'd be together for ever.
23
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,980
Well, it may sound ridiculous now, sir,
24
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:37,420
but one day, I'm sure you'll meet another
species that'll make you just as happy.
25
00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:41,580
No, I won't! No species'll make me happy
like the human race.
26
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,540
I'll never find another species
like them. They were...
27
00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:46,220
They were special.
28
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,700
Sir, all I'm saying is
there are other species out there,
29
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:52,020
and given time, who knows?
30
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:54,660
You never liked the human race, did you?
31
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:58,140
Quite honestly, sir, I never thought
they were good enough for you.
32
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,260
I never thought
they were very nice to you, sir.
33
00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:03,980
Quite frankly, sir,
I think you could do better.
34
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,420
- What, better than the human race?
- Mm.
35
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:09,540
It may sound harsh, but you've just
got to get them out of your mind
36
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:10,900
and get on with your life.
37
00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:13,860
Yeah, but everywhere I look
reminds me of 'em.
38
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:17,940
A couple of beers later on today, sir -
that'll take your mind off it.
39
00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:19,340
The human race invented beer.
40
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,420
They were brilliant at inventin'.
41
00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:26,900
They invented sofas and blankets
and mops and floors and buckets.
42
00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:29,700
I just miss them so much.
43
00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:31,700
A change of scenery, sir,
that's what you need.
44
00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:33,940
Why don't you get out
and stretch your legs?
45
00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:35,340
The human race had legs.
46
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:37,900
I just can't get away from them.
47
00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:40,100
Everywhere I look, it reminds me of them.
48
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:41,860
Nothing compares to them.
49
00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:44,980
# Nothing compares
50
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:48,460
# Nothing compares to them. #
51
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:50,220
I knew they'd break his heart.
52
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:51,580
Oh!
53
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,660
Human race -
here one minute, gone the next.
54
00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:55,860
Fly-by-night flibbertigibbets!
55
00:02:58,340 --> 00:03:00,100
Life.
56
00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:01,820
What's it all about, then?
57
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:03,940
Why are we all here? Why am I here?
58
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:05,860
What's the point of everything?
59
00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:07,780
I don't know, Dave.
60
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:11,140
White coffee, six sugars
and a caramel crisp bar coming right up!
61
00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:12,780
Haven't you ever thought about it?
62
00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:16,140
Not really, no. I'm a vending machine.
63
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:17,540
Are you OK?
64
00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:20,060
You don't seem your usual self today,
65
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:22,660
asking intelligent questions,
being philosophical.
66
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:25,460
How d'you know
what my usual self is like?
67
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,780
I watch you.
68
00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:30,260
Through the crack in your door.
69
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:33,060
The things you do when you're alone
are so funny!
70
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,260
(LAUGHS)
71
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:36,820
I've gotta get going.
72
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,260
See you next time!
73
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:42,020
And if you want to talk things through
about life and stuff, drop by any time.
74
00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:45,020
Oh, except Thursday morning.
I might be out.
75
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,540
Just kidding!
76
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:50,260
I'll be here! (GIGGLES)
77
00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:51,900
For ever!
78
00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:06,980
Subbuteo tournament this weekend, Kryten.
79
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,860
Not going out in the quarterfinals
three years in a row.
80
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:13,300
Just putting the boys through their paces.
81
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,220
The flabsters don't know what's hit them.
82
00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:25,580
Er, an e-post from the JMC
on-board computer, sir.
83
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,940
Oh, yes? What do they want?
84
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,940
They've had a significant amount
of letters over the years
85
00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:32,260
from high-ranking members
of the JMC, sir,
86
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:34,660
proposing you to be awarded
87
00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:38,660
the Golden Stripe Of Honour
for your years of distinguished service.
88
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:40,820
Gosh. Really?
89
00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:44,220
They say they've been told you're a modest
man who doesn't seek the limelight,
90
00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:47,740
for your only concern
is performing your duties.
91
00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:49,180
I'm lost for words.
92
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,580
Such kindness.
93
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,900
They say, due to the number
of these letters of recommendation,
94
00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:56,580
they have absolutely no option
but to request
95
00:04:56,700 --> 00:04:58,460
you stop writing them.
96
00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:03,940
Oh, bollocking damn and jumbo buggers!
97
00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:06,020
They go on to say,
in dealing with this matter,
98
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:09,020
they've looked into your actual
service record and have realised
99
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:13,780
that you haven't reported for duty
in over three million years.
100
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,620
But I've been dead for most of that!
101
00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:18,900
You are therefore being charged
with gross dereliction of duty
102
00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:21,860
and you have 24 hours
to present your rebuttal.
103
00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:23,100
What?!
104
00:05:23,220 --> 00:05:25,340
If they find you guilty, sir,
you'll be demoted...
105
00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:27,020
to third technician.
106
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:28,580
The same as Lister?
107
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:31,020
There'll be no-one but you to obey
my orders. What am I gonna do?
108
00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:32,460
Help me. That's an order.
109
00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:34,420
Oh, please, sir!
Don't order me to help you.
110
00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:36,300
You know how much I hate helping you!
111
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,020
Kryten!
112
00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:40,260
Very well, sir.
113
00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:42,300
Perhaps you could get a note
from the medicomputer
114
00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:45,060
explaining you're unfit for duty.
115
00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:47,140
Post-traumatic stress or something.
116
00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:51,300
I haven't been the same since the crew
got wiped out - need a note, post-dated.
117
00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:52,900
Too unwell to attend myself.
118
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,180
Off you go.
119
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:55,580
On my way, sir.
120
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,500
Ahh, you!
121
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:03,300
Still moping around in your mopey clothes,
122
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:07,180
listening to your mopey music,
being all mopey?
123
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:10,620
- If you want my opinion...
- Which I don't.
124
00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:12,500
...it's time you manned up.
125
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:14,940
Listened to some brass band music.
126
00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:17,180
Went for a bracing hike
in the diesel decks.
127
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:23,100
Given the options, I'll continue being
suicidal, if it's all the same to you.
128
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:25,700
And don't think this pity party's
going unnoticed.
129
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,260
I've noticed it.
130
00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:29,700
And I've written it down
in a special report.
131
00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:34,580
And let me tell you, m'laddo,
I pull no punches.
132
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,700
Who's gonna read this special report?
133
00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:38,020
Well, me.
134
00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:41,180
And maybe others...one day.
135
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,300
And they'll read,
136
00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:45,860
"You are the star of your own mopeathon.
137
00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:49,380
"You can't even be bothered
to get yourself a cup of tea any more.
138
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,580
"You dunk your biscuits in the fish tank."
139
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,180
I've seen you.
140
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:56,020
I was watching TV!
141
00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:59,660
As long as it's wet and melty,
you don't care where you stick it.
142
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:03,660
Look, Rimmer, I'm depressed, man.
Give me a break.
143
00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:06,140
And besides, I'm a careful dunker now.
144
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,740
Look left, look right,
145
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,820
mirror, signal, dunk.
146
00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:13,820
It's time you stopped feeling sorry
for yourself, Lister.
147
00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:16,180
Every problem has an answer.
148
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:18,420
Problem - your species is dead.
149
00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:21,060
Answer - make some more.
150
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,620
And how am I gonna do that?
151
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,820
Well, you've gotta prepare yourself,
haven't you?
152
00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:28,300
Like a fighter pilot waiting to scramble.
153
00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:30,860
If the perfect woman
walked through that door right now -
154
00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:34,380
and by perfect, I mean
any female with working ovaries -
155
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:36,300
you wouldn't have a clue.
156
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:39,460
Perfect woman walked through that door,
I would be ready to scramble.
157
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:43,260
What, you think your old moves
would still work today?
158
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,540
You think that snaky, sneaky,
arm-round-the-shoulder trick
159
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:48,780
in a dark cinema is still cool?
160
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:52,260
Women today
would die laughing at that move.
161
00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:53,700
That was my best move.
162
00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:56,820
I had a lot of success with that move.
163
00:07:56,940 --> 00:07:59,140
Women have moved on from that move.
164
00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:00,780
Moves don't move on.
165
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:01,980
Moves move on.
166
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,420
What, moves move?!
167
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:05,940
Right, here's a Jacobean move.
168
00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:07,140
A Jaca-what?
169
00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:15,900
Oh, my lady!
170
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:20,020
Thy beauty doth radiate across the Earth,
171
00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:24,380
like a raging forest fire
consuming everything in its path,
172
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:28,140
and reduces grown men to babbling fools.
173
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:33,660
Do you think that move would work today?
174
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,820
Not a chance - dead move.
175
00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:38,580
The cloak across the puddle - dead move.
176
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:42,260
Strumming a mandolin
under the balcony - dead move.
177
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:44,580
How d'you know all this, Rimmer?
You know nothin' about women.
178
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,220
You know nothin' about nothin'.
179
00:08:46,340 --> 00:08:48,900
Remember that documentary
we watched about breasts?
180
00:08:49,020 --> 00:08:51,060
You thought "areolas"
was a Spanish goalkeeper?
181
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,540
Well, what was he, Italian?
182
00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:57,700
It's not important.
183
00:08:57,820 --> 00:09:00,820
Look, you've either got it
or you ain't, and I've got it.
184
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,020
I'm gonna make meself a cup of coffee.
185
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:06,700
(THUD)
186
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:12,140
Right, abusing the furniture.
187
00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:15,860
It's all going down.
188
00:09:15,980 --> 00:09:18,140
Oh, thanks, 23.
189
00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,780
I really needed a lift.
190
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:21,300
(FRENCH ACCENT) No problem, David.
191
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:23,140
How was zat soup I made you yesterday?
192
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:25,900
- It was, er...pretty delicious, actually.
- Ah, bon!
193
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:28,620
- I'm glad you enjoyed eet.
- Yeah, it was really nice.
194
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:30,100
Magnifique!
195
00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:32,300
So, um...you look different.
196
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:34,620
Have you changed something? New facade?
197
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,620
Really suits you. You look, er...shinier.
198
00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:39,620
No, same facade as always.
199
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:41,020
Could've sworn it's different.
200
00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:44,020
- Maybe it's the light.
- Oui, maybe.
201
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:46,460
Oh, it's good coffee, this. Great coffee.
202
00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,340
Some amazing coffee.
203
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:51,420
I've always said to the others, you know,
if you want a good cup of coffee,
204
00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:54,380
go to dispenser 23 -
she makes the best coffee.
205
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,540
- Are you 'itting on me?
- What? No!
206
00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:59,820
I'm a vending machine -
why are you trying to 'it on me?
207
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:01,660
- I'm not trying to hit on you.
- You so are.
208
00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:04,580
No, I'm not! I'm really not.
You just make good coffee, that's all.
209
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:07,860
"New facade, you look shinier" -
zat was a move.
210
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,980
- It was not a move!
- It so was a move.
211
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,220
You were putting a move on me.
212
00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:15,100
You're getting the wrong end of the stick.
It was not a move, now please!
213
00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:17,260
Why are you 'itting on
a dispensing machine? Who does zat?
214
00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:19,460
- I'm not! I mean...
- Is everything OK, sir?
215
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:22,380
You know what he just tried to do?
He was 'itting on me.
216
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,900
Hit...hitting on her! I mean...
217
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,980
of course I wasn't hitting on her -
she's a vending machine!
218
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,700
Why would I hit on a vending machine?
219
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:30,860
I-I'm sure there's been
some misunderstanding here.
220
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:32,460
He put his hand on my logo.
221
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:34,540
- (GASPS)
- What? When?
222
00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:36,980
Look, I was leaning,
it was a total accident!
223
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:40,860
Oh, leaning and you just happened
to place your hand exactly on my logo.
224
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:46,020
"Oops, sorry, didn't notice it,"
he said, as he gently grazed my logo.
225
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:49,940
Unbelievable!
226
00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:52,500
- This is gonna go in the report.
- (LISTER SIGHS)
227
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:56,900
RIMMER: What news of my sabbatical?
228
00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:58,460
KRYTEN: I'm afraid it's not good, sir.
229
00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:01,540
The medicom said no? It's never liked me.
230
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:05,420
It's happy to give you a note
if you have a genuine reason for time off,
231
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,900
otherwise there's nothing doing.
232
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:11,540
Although I got the impression
a charitable donation to the medical fund
233
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:13,220
might not go unnoticed.
234
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,660
Hmm. A little bribe.
235
00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:17,460
Not a bribe, sir - a donation.
236
00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:18,860
A big donation.
237
00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:22,060
Mm! Where you gonna get
major moolah like that?
238
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,420
Expenditure cuts, sir,
from the supplies budget.
239
00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:27,900
I've been looking at the ship's inventory
for potential savings,
240
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,300
and it seems to me, for a ship this size,
241
00:11:30,420 --> 00:11:32,180
with this many
toilet-active crew members...
242
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,820
Toilet-active crew members?
243
00:11:34,940 --> 00:11:39,820
...there's an astonishing amount
of toilet paper in the 2,1 43 restrooms
244
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,380
going to waste.
245
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,300
You what?!
246
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:47,020
Toilet paper that never goes into action,
never sees the field of battle.
247
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,460
- Return the toilet paper!
- Hang on.
248
00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:52,140
Make the majority
of the restrooms paper-free.
249
00:11:52,260 --> 00:11:54,540
I-I need that toilet paper!
250
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:56,300
Every sheet!
251
00:11:56,420 --> 00:12:00,100
I've got a diet
that's rich in fibre, curry and beer.
252
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,260
The savings would be insane.
253
00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:06,380
We can get a reimbursement from Supplies
and transfer that to the medical fund.
254
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:10,100
As far as the supply budget is concerned,
we're just moving money around.
255
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:11,500
It's totally above board.
256
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:13,300
I'll get on it right away.
257
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:15,340
- Great plan.
- Lousy plan!
258
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:19,940
Buds, I've got a question for you.
What's the best way to break bad news?
259
00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:22,500
Well, generally speaking, sir,
you tell the people to sit down
260
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:24,780
and warn them that you've got bad news.
261
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,660
And what kind of face you got on?
262
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,100
A serious face, sir.
263
00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:29,580
Kindly but serious.
264
00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,260
Huh! Kindly but serious.
265
00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:32,780
That's what I thought!
266
00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:34,180
I knew that!
267
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:35,500
Thanks, bud!
268
00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:42,700
Buds, best you sit down.
I've got some bad news.
269
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:44,540
Whoa, what is it? What's happened?
270
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:46,420
Is this about me? It's about me, isn't it?
271
00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:48,340
I'm being replaced again, aren't I, sir?
272
00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:50,420
You know everyone's sitting down,
then you say something like,
273
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:52,860
- "Listen, I've got bad news," right?
- That's correct, sir.
274
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,460
OK, here comes the bad news.
275
00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:56,860
But I'm gonna do it as char-yades!
276
00:12:56,980 --> 00:12:58,340
ALL: Char-aydes?
277
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,540
He means "char-ahdes", sir.
278
00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:03,700
You know how much fun
there is round here? None!
279
00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:05,820
It's too good an opportunity to miss.
280
00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:07,580
OK, here we go.
281
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,620
Remember, really bad news.
282
00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:11,780
Two words.
283
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,020
KRYTEN: Whole thing.
284
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:16,620
Ho-hole. Er, black hole,
we're being sucked into a black hole.
285
00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:20,500
Er chameleonic mutants. Er, er, er,
brain-eating chameleonic mutants on board.
286
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:22,940
- A giant death worm!
- Something's happened to Kochanski.
287
00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:24,700
She's got a rogue virus.
288
00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:25,900
- Rimmer's got a rogue virus.
- No, no, no.
289
00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:27,020
I've got a rogue virus?
290
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,820
- RIMMER: Er, explosion?
- Zombies, zombies!
291
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:32,140
I'm being replaced, aren't I, sir?
No-one likes me. People have complained
292
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:33,940
- about the shape of my head.
- Strangling...
293
00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:36,780
RIMMER: A giant death worm. Giant
death worm heading straight for us...
294
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,980
- Crash, something's crashed.
- (ALL TALK AT ONCE)
295
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,180
RIMMER: Heading straight for us.
I'm being demoted.
296
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,460
A woman! A woman's coming.
297
00:13:43,580 --> 00:13:46,500
- A woman. Shorter.
- Small woman. Small. Male, man.
298
00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:47,940
- Male.
- Post! Mail pod!
299
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:48,980
Mail pod!
300
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,260
- LISTER: Mail pod!
- KRYTEN: Mail pod!
301
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:51,620
- The mail pod's arrived!
- Mail pod's arrived!
302
00:13:51,740 --> 00:13:53,180
LISTER: Brilliant, the mail pod's arrived!
303
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,700
- And something's happened to it.
- Something bad.
304
00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:56,940
LISTER: It's crashed.
The mail pod's crashed.
305
00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:58,900
- It exploded.
- It turned into a giant death worm.
306
00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:01,500
- LISTER: It's turned into a jacket.
- A giant death worm's come out of it.
307
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:03,100
This is nothing to do
with a giant death worm!
308
00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:04,580
Where were you getting
the giant death worm from?!
309
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:07,700
Oh! Your clothes...your clothes
were on a...on a washing line...
310
00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:08,940
- LISTER: Jacket.
- ...and mail pod came in
311
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,540
and crashed into your clothes!
312
00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:12,260
Got it in one!
313
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,860
Your clothes are hanging on the line,
and the mail pod crashed into them?
314
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:19,140
How's that two words?
315
00:14:19,260 --> 00:14:20,700
Cos when it happened, I said,
316
00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:22,300
"Oh, man!"
317
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:26,460
You know,
if I had a giant death worm right now,
318
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:28,500
I'd stick it right down
your stupid throat!
319
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:29,980
Hey, the mail's arrived!
320
00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:32,380
Lighten up - mail from Earth!
321
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,140
Death worm?!
322
00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:36,140
Two words!
323
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:51,620
That's the last one, sirs.
324
00:14:52,820 --> 00:14:55,620
We must have sifted through
about a thousand letters now.
325
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:58,060
One letter from home,
that's all I'm asking -
326
00:14:58,180 --> 00:15:00,340
just one lousy, stinking letter.
327
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:04,180
Look, 50 big ones
says the first letter's mine.
328
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,620
Why is everything a competition with you?
329
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:10,700
Why can't we just sit here
and sort the mail like two mature adults
330
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:14,260
instead of behaving like two schoolboys
who have to bet on everything?
331
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,740
Oh, yes, I've got one!
332
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:20,820
Arnold Rimmer!
333
00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:23,340
The man, the myth, the legend!
Rimmsy, Rimmsy!
334
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:28,860
Mr Popular with a capital P,
there's no stopping him, here he goes!
335
00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:30,060
Who's it from?
336
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,420
It's a parking fine.
337
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,700
Still good.
338
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:37,900
Still a letter -
something to read addressed to me.
339
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,220
One-nil, Rimmsy.
340
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,020
Is it? Can it be?
341
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:43,340
It can't be.
342
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:44,620
Oh, but it is!
343
00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:46,820
One-all! The comeback kid!
344
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:51,220
This boy does not know the meaning
of the word "defeat"!
345
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,780
One-all!
346
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,740
Go on, then, who's it from?
347
00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:56,780
Hayley Summers?
348
00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:59,660
My God, Hayley Summers!
349
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:01,420
Hayley Summers!
350
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:04,460
I'm guessing it's from Hayley Summers?
351
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:06,380
I used to go out with Hayley Summers.
352
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,140
It's when I was trying to be a rock god.
353
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:11,660
What I lacked technically
I made up for in loudness.
354
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:15,300
I mean, when I played,
people had ringing in their ears.
355
00:16:15,420 --> 00:16:16,940
How long for?
356
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:20,020
It didn't go away.
Once they had it, they had it for good.
357
00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:21,340
That's how loud I was.
358
00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:24,060
So where did you meet her, then?
At a gig?
359
00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:26,580
She worked in the bank
where I had my overdraft.
360
00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:31,220
We got talking, and badda-boom,
badda-bish, badda-baa.
361
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:33,420
And, um, she dumped you, right?
362
00:16:33,540 --> 00:16:35,100
No, she didn't dump me, actually, Rimmer.
363
00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:37,860
She got offered a dream job on Callisto,
couldn't turn it down.
364
00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:40,580
The only girl I ever cared about
who didn'tdump me, actually.
365
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,820
The time we had together
was brilliant, man.
366
00:16:42,940 --> 00:16:47,460
We'd stay home all day Saturday,
watch zero-gee, eat curry in bed.
367
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:50,420
The first person I ever heard say,
"the real McCoy".
368
00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:52,420
"That's the real McCoy," she'd say.
369
00:16:52,540 --> 00:16:55,660
"This is the real McCoy.
That curry is the real McCoy."
370
00:16:55,780 --> 00:17:00,420
And she squidged up her nose, like that,
when she was telling a story.
371
00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:01,860
No, no, it was really cute.
372
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:03,940
And did you used to tell your friends
373
00:17:04,060 --> 00:17:06,540
about the real McCoy
and the squidgy nose thing?
374
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,820
And did you find your friends
were suddenly emigrating
375
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,460
or pretending to be dead?
376
00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:13,540
Still smells of her perfume.
377
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:15,380
Look, I...I don't wanna read this.
378
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,980
It'll make me miss home more than ever.
379
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,300
I'll read it.
380
00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:25,380
"Dear Dave, I hope
you don't mind me writing to you,
381
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,060
- "but I've got a confession."
- Confession?
382
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,260
Bet she was a man.
383
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:34,740
Well, you said yourself she liked zero-gee
and curries. Bet you she was a man.
384
00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:36,540
Did she have big feet?
385
00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:41,340
When you did the foxtrot,
did you ever wonder why she was shaving?
386
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,860
Just-just tell me the confession.
387
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,460
- Oh, wow.
- What?
388
00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:46,540
- No way!
- What?!
389
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:48,500
I don't know whether to laugh or laugh.
390
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,940
"Dave, I don't know how to tell you this,
391
00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:53,300
"but I'm pregnant.
392
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,580
"Seven weeks, according to the doctor."
393
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,660
Pregnant? Hang on,
my head's on spin cycle here.
394
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:01,060
Are you saying that
I'm three million years into deep space
395
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,900
and she's pregnant with my baby?!
396
00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:06,380
Well, put it this way -
you're in the finals.
397
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:07,860
Finals? What d'you mean?
398
00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:09,900
I mean, who's the other finalist?
Who am I playing?
399
00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:12,100
Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...
400
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,660
"I don't know whether it's yours or Roy's.
401
00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:16,460
"Thought you should know."
402
00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:17,620
Roy?
403
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,540
Ah, not Roy?!
404
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,260
Not Roy Roy!
405
00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:25,460
D'you mean she was sleeping with Roy?
406
00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:27,940
Who's the dad, me or him?
407
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:30,580
She doesn't know,
she's going for a DNA test.
408
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:35,060
She must've written another letter
to tell me the result.
409
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,180
You've gotta help me find it, we need
to find this letter. Yellow envelope.
410
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:38,740
Yellow envelope!
411
00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:45,140
Hi, 34. Just having a break.
Coffee, please.
412
00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:47,820
Oh, you want something
from me now, do you?
413
00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:49,380
Yeah, coffee.
414
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:52,540
Don't play dumb, Dave.
I heard what happened.
415
00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:55,340
- Happened?
- With dispensing machine 23.
416
00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:57,620
You didn't think I'd find out, did you?
417
00:18:57,740 --> 00:19:00,060
- What?!
- All those drinks
418
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,660
and chocolate bars you were getting
off me, and at the same time,
419
00:19:02,780 --> 00:19:06,940
you were drinking her drinks and snaffling
up her choccy bars too, weren't you?
420
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:08,300
Weren't you?!
421
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:09,660
She was just nearer.
422
00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:12,220
She's such a trashy-looking machine.
423
00:19:12,340 --> 00:19:14,860
Is that what you like, Dave? Trashy?
424
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:16,500
You all look identical!
425
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:19,420
- Ohh!
- Look, can I please just get a coffee?
426
00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:21,060
- I'm out of coffee.
- I'll have a tea, then.
427
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,140
No tea.
428
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:23,460
Milkshake?
429
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:24,580
Let me just check.
430
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,420
Sorry, no milkshakes either.
431
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:30,420
Look, I'll go somewhere else, then.
You're not the only dispenser on board.
432
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:33,980
Why don't you do that?
I think it might be best all round.
433
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,260
Well, I will.
434
00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:36,580
- Good.
- Fine.
435
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:38,540
- Suits me.
- Right, I'm off.
436
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,220
Not missing you already.
437
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:43,700
Coincidentally, no big deal,
but know your tea -
438
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:45,060
it's a bit watery.
439
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:48,980
And you know when I said that your Mexican
red-hot chilli crisps were really spicy?
440
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,340
Well, I was lying.
441
00:19:50,460 --> 00:19:52,820
- I can't believe you said that!
- Well, I did.
442
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:54,420
Ohh!
443
00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:10,900
How did it go with the medicomputer?
444
00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:12,300
Well, it took the donation, sir.
445
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,540
And what did we get?
446
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:14,820
A thank you.
447
00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:16,300
Is that it?
448
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:17,900
I think it does this all the time, sir -
449
00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:21,460
misleads unsuspecting bribers to get them
to give money to the medical fund.
450
00:20:21,580 --> 00:20:22,980
That's outrageous!
451
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:25,700
Has it got no morals at all?
452
00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:29,260
It repeated that the only way it could
give you an absence from duty note
453
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:30,860
was if you are unwell
454
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:34,220
or you'd taken a sabbatical
to care for an unwell member of the crew.
455
00:20:34,340 --> 00:20:35,900
Lister!
456
00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:38,140
Post-traumatic stress.
Missing the human race,
457
00:20:38,260 --> 00:20:41,580
dunking biscuits in the fish tank,
totally off the rails.
458
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:44,780
Well, most of that could be dismissed
as eccentricity rather than illness, sir.
459
00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:49,140
If you're going to use Mr Lister in your
defence, I fear you need something more.
460
00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:50,420
Hmm.
461
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:55,540
One act of saliva-dripping, mouth-foaming
insanity by midnight tonight.
462
00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:57,420
Shouldn't be too hard.
463
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:02,980
Hey, bud.
464
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:04,780
Alphabet Head told me what happened.
465
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,900
Come to check you out.
466
00:21:09,380 --> 00:21:11,780
So, who is this Roy dude?
467
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,500
Used to work with her in the bank.
468
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:17,340
He was always using the finger-wetting
machine to count the money.
469
00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:19,020
Real creep.
470
00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:20,780
Could I give you a bit of advice?
471
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:22,420
Don't think about them together.
472
00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:24,700
- Just move on.
- Right.
473
00:21:24,820 --> 00:21:28,740
Keep all those "them together" thoughts
right out of your head.
474
00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:30,420
Yeah, right.
475
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:34,460
All the walking in the park,
kissing raindrops off her nose stuff -
476
00:21:34,580 --> 00:21:36,580
don't think about any of that.
477
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:38,460
I used to love her nose.
478
00:21:38,580 --> 00:21:40,980
She used to squidge it up
when she told stories.
479
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,860
And don't be tempted to wonder
if she squidged up her nose for him
480
00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:46,500
in that really cute way
she used to squidge up her nose for you,
481
00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:48,740
cos the chances are, she did.
482
00:21:49,860 --> 00:21:52,100
- You reckon?
- And another thing.
483
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:55,900
Don't start thinking about all those
late-night shifts she was always doing,
484
00:21:56,020 --> 00:21:58,180
because if it was me,
I'd be thinking, like, "Hey!
485
00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:00,620
"Banks all close at five."
486
00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:04,460
Yeah, she was always doing
late-night shifts.
487
00:22:04,580 --> 00:22:08,100
You know, supervising the delivery
of the unstealable pens.
488
00:22:08,220 --> 00:22:12,700
Or staying behind to help update
the bank queue waiting-pole rope.
489
00:22:14,340 --> 00:22:17,540
Or accidentally locking herself
in the vault for the whole weekend.
490
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:19,100
She used to always do that.
491
00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:24,380
Hey, you don't think
she was with this Roy guy?
492
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:27,020
The whole damn time.
493
00:22:28,060 --> 00:22:30,540
- It never even occurred to me.
- But the key is,
494
00:22:30,660 --> 00:22:32,460
don't think about it.
495
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:34,300
I'm not thinking about it.
496
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:36,700
- Think of something else.
- I'm thinking of something else!
497
00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:38,140
Good!
498
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:43,820
Cos if you start thinking about all those
hours you were sitting at home,
499
00:22:43,940 --> 00:22:47,940
killing time, while she was probably
on all fours, covered in money...
500
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:52,980
...while his finger-wetting machine
was working overtime...
501
00:22:56,660 --> 00:22:58,020
...it'll drive you crazy!
502
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:02,660
Now, you get a picture like that in
your head, it's real hard to get rid of.
503
00:23:05,780 --> 00:23:06,940
What you doing?
504
00:23:07,060 --> 00:23:08,260
What d'you think I'm doing?
505
00:23:08,380 --> 00:23:09,660
I told you not to think about it!
506
00:23:09,780 --> 00:23:11,980
I'm thinking about it now!
507
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,540
That's unbelievable!
508
00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:15,740
You've not listened to a word I've said.
509
00:23:22,980 --> 00:23:23,980
Still nothing, sir?
510
00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:27,940
You know, I'm starting to think
she never even wrote a second letter.
511
00:23:28,060 --> 00:23:30,140
Oh, sir, I know
this has stirred things up a bit,
512
00:23:30,260 --> 00:23:33,340
but I really believe
you've got to live in the present.
513
00:23:33,460 --> 00:23:35,620
You've got new friends now.
514
00:23:35,740 --> 00:23:40,220
True, they may not be human, and some
of them are annoying and stupid and petty
515
00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:41,820
and maybe even insane,
516
00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:44,260
but that doesn't mean
they're any less precious.
517
00:23:44,380 --> 00:23:48,820
You've got to forget about the past
and look after the present.
518
00:23:54,980 --> 00:23:56,380
Hiya.
519
00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:57,660
Oh, it's you.
520
00:23:57,780 --> 00:23:58,980
This is awkward.
521
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:00,700
Look, I'm sorry about before.
522
00:24:00,820 --> 00:24:03,380
I just wanna know if there's any way
I can make it up to you.
523
00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:05,140
- Really?
- Yep.
524
00:24:05,260 --> 00:24:07,060
Oh, Dave!
525
00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:09,180
I don't know why we fight like this.
526
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:11,060
We're so silly!
527
00:24:11,180 --> 00:24:12,540
So what's it to be, then?
528
00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:14,820
New paintjob, new nozzle housings?
529
00:24:14,940 --> 00:24:16,380
How about a restock?
530
00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:19,420
- Anything?
- Anythin'. You name it.
531
00:24:19,540 --> 00:24:23,300
Well, if I could have anything,
absolutely anything,
532
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:24,900
I've always wanted...
533
00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:27,220
to see around the corner.
534
00:24:27,340 --> 00:24:29,460
What, down there round the corner?
535
00:24:29,580 --> 00:24:31,300
Oh, I know it's crazy,
536
00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:33,940
but it's always been a wild dream of mine.
537
00:24:34,060 --> 00:24:36,660
I've heard stories,
but to actually see it myself...
538
00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:44,660
I can't believe I'm actually going!
539
00:24:44,780 --> 00:24:46,780
- Isn't this romantic?
- Well...
540
00:24:46,900 --> 00:24:49,220
don't build your hopes up too much.
541
00:24:49,340 --> 00:24:50,780
It might not be as great as you think.
542
00:24:51,980 --> 00:24:53,020
Da-daaaan!
543
00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:56,420
- Well?
- Oh! Ohhh!
544
00:24:56,540 --> 00:24:59,700
It's everything I thought it was and more.
545
00:24:59,820 --> 00:25:02,220
Oh! Oh, Dave.
546
00:25:02,340 --> 00:25:04,100
Maybe we could stay here.
547
00:25:04,220 --> 00:25:05,500
You and me.
548
00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:07,700
I know it's...crazy,
549
00:25:07,820 --> 00:25:10,020
but we could settle down here.
550
00:25:10,140 --> 00:25:12,460
Hm? Start a new life!
551
00:25:12,580 --> 00:25:15,020
Oh, put me back there by the wall.
552
00:25:16,540 --> 00:25:18,420
Oh!
553
00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:21,060
- Oh, Dave!
- Smeg, sorry!
554
00:25:21,180 --> 00:25:23,820
I knew you'd come round, you naughty boy!
555
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,660
Rrrrar!
556
00:25:25,780 --> 00:25:27,580
I'll get you up.
557
00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:29,460
Oh! Dave!
558
00:25:29,580 --> 00:25:32,260
Dave! Naughty boy!
559
00:25:32,380 --> 00:25:33,660
Wow!
560
00:25:33,780 --> 00:25:35,940
I have never seen a ceiling.
561
00:25:36,060 --> 00:25:37,060
(GIGGLES)
562
00:25:37,180 --> 00:25:38,980
(LISTER GRUNTS)
563
00:25:47,940 --> 00:25:49,980
Rimmsy, Rimmsy, Rimmsy!
564
00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:52,460
Oh, yes! CCTV!
565
00:25:52,580 --> 00:25:54,900
Sabbatical note, here we come!
566
00:25:59,220 --> 00:26:00,540
What would you have me do with these, sir?
567
00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:01,660
Ohh.
568
00:26:04,220 --> 00:26:05,460
What did I tell you, sir?
569
00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:09,460
I knew you'd find another species
to settle down with!
570
00:26:11,140 --> 00:26:12,460
I'm just tryin' to pick her up.
571
00:26:12,580 --> 00:26:14,860
Looks like you're well past
that stage to me, sir.
572
00:26:16,260 --> 00:26:18,740
(GROANS)
573
00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:26,340
Damn paper!
There's gotta be some somewhere.
574
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:27,940
Ahh!
575
00:26:28,060 --> 00:26:30,500
Ooh! Guhh!
576
00:26:31,700 --> 00:26:34,060
Damn near walked three miles!
577
00:26:34,180 --> 00:26:35,820
Hey...
578
00:26:35,940 --> 00:26:37,100
Uhhh!
579
00:26:38,980 --> 00:26:40,500
Hee-hee-hee-hee!
580
00:26:41,820 --> 00:26:42,980
Oh!
581
00:26:44,620 --> 00:26:46,900
That's every letter checked, sir.
It wasn't there.
582
00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:49,180
Oh, well. Thanks, Krytes.
583
00:26:49,300 --> 00:26:52,780
Never mind, third technician!
584
00:26:53,860 --> 00:26:56,740
Three decks, not one single roll!
585
00:26:56,860 --> 00:26:58,180
Hey, that's mine.
586
00:26:58,300 --> 00:26:59,660
The hell it is. I found it.
587
00:26:59,780 --> 00:27:01,500
I need it.
588
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:04,420
- Give it here!
- I need to wipe!
589
00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:07,140
You see what you guys have done to us?
590
00:27:07,260 --> 00:27:08,660
This is madness!
591
00:27:08,780 --> 00:27:10,380
Madness!
592
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:12,180
That's my special report!
593
00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:14,380
It won't be special in a minute.
594
00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:23,820
I've realised now this might be it.
595
00:27:23,940 --> 00:27:26,620
This might be the answer
as to why I feel so empty.
596
00:27:26,740 --> 00:27:30,380
I mean, if she had my kids,
that means my kids might have had kids.
597
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:33,180
There might be hundreds
of generations spawned by me.
598
00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:35,020
I might have had a daughter
who was a doctor
599
00:27:35,140 --> 00:27:38,580
or a great-great-great-great-great-
great-great-great-great-grandson
600
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:40,500
who was a zero-gee football star.
601
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,340
No matter what happens to me now,
602
00:27:43,460 --> 00:27:45,900
I feel like I've contributed.
603
00:27:46,020 --> 00:27:47,980
I am someone.
604
00:27:49,860 --> 00:27:54,020
Man, I hope it's mine, because I know,
with her as a mother, they would have been
605
00:27:54,140 --> 00:27:58,300
the best kids they could possibly be,
cos I mean, she was a wonderful woman,
606
00:27:58,420 --> 00:28:01,500
and I'm sure she'd have been
an even more wonderful mother.
607
00:28:02,620 --> 00:28:03,940
Wish me luck.
608
00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:13,420
What an absolute slag.
609
00:28:21,020 --> 00:28:24,380
# It's cold outside
There's no kind of atmosphere
610
00:28:24,500 --> 00:28:27,500
# I'm all alone, more or less
611
00:28:27,620 --> 00:28:30,940
# Let me fly far away from here
612
00:28:31,060 --> 00:28:33,860
# Fun, fun, fun
613
00:28:33,980 --> 00:28:37,540
# In the sun, sun, sun
614
00:28:37,660 --> 00:28:41,020
# I want to lie
Shipwrecked and comatose
615
00:28:41,140 --> 00:28:44,180
# Drinking fresh mango juice
616
00:28:44,300 --> 00:28:47,820
# Goldfish shoals nibbling on my toes
617
00:28:47,940 --> 00:28:50,500
# Fun, fun, fun
618
00:28:50,620 --> 00:28:54,140
# In the sun, sun, sun
619
00:28:54,260 --> 00:28:57,180
# Fun, fun, fun
620
00:28:57,300 --> 00:29:00,980
# In the sun, sun, sun. #
621
00:29:05,140 --> 00:29:07,620
(EXPLOSION)
47675
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