Original subtitles

The story so far...

I'm Saito Hojo, a high school senior boy.

Yo.

- Grandpa? - Grandma?

Why are we called here?

Get married.

Due to some circumstances, I got married to a girl I hate most in my class.

I...

I will get married.

My spouse's name is Akane Sakuramori.

We must keep this relationship a secret from everyone.

What were you talking about with Saito?

Wha...

You got married, didn't you?

How did you...

Our grandpa and his company were acting strange, so I looked into it.

But my cousin Shisei has already found out.

With our married life is full of turmoils,

I wonder what will happen to us from now...

#4 NIGHT ATTACK

#4 NIGHT ATTACK Stop.

Stop, I said!

Like hell I will! I must survive at all costs!

I won't kill you! But if you don't stop, I'll shoot!

With what?!

I got hit...

...not?

Why didn't you bring your lunch?

Sorry, I forgot.

You forgot? Really?

Truth is, you don't want to eat my cooking, right?

No, I'm actually happy with your cooking.

R-Really? Glad to hear that.

I went all out in making that, so you better eat it all, okay?

Cousin, I'm hungry.

Give me all your lunch.

That's quite an absurd and abrupt request...

At this rate, I'll die of starvation.

It is the older brother's obligation to share food with his little sister.

I bet you had all the breakfast you could ever have this morning!

I had three bowls of rice.

See, you're eating more than me!

This and that are two separate matters.

No, it's not!

I want to eat your wife's...

I told you not to spew that out of your mouth!

Brother... I want to eat.

Don't you feel sorry for her?!

Give her some, will you?

Or rather, just give it all to her!

You're a super evil dude for not sharing!

Fine, only a spoonful, okay?

Oh? Saito, your lunchbox...

Isn't it the same as Akane?

You're right!

Attagirl, Himarin!

What's this?

Is it Sakuramori's handmade lunch?

So you two are really dating?

N-No, we're not!

You're getting all red.

We're not dating at all!

Yeah! No printer, just fax!

We're married, though!

But this does look fishy.

You two already look like a married couple too.

The matching lunchbox must be proof.

Let me explain...

I told you only a spoonful!

It's bad manners to talk while eating! Swallow it first!

Gulp.

I ate it in one spoonful.

What are you, a monster?

I don't deny that I'm a being beyond human understanding.

For real?

You'd better thank me.

I erased the evidence for you.

Really?

Nah, I just wanted to eat.

Cousin, are you doing okay back home?

Saito!

Don't jump off the stairs. It's hazardous.

Don't worry. You'll catch me when I trip.

Oh, don't you dare involve me. I'll dodge you at all costs.

What a meanie! You won't be popular with girls like that!

I don't need to be.

That's so you!

By the way...

Akane didn't actually make you lunch, did she?

We just used the same frozen food.

Well, it's safe to assume that she just tried to copy me.

Really?

Really.

So you two... aren't dating, right?

Well, duh.

I see! I guess so!

Sorry for the weird question.

I'll go get things straight with everyone for you.

See ya!

I'M GETTING MARRIED TO A GIRL

I HATE IN MY CLASS

I'M GETTING MARRIED TO A GIRL I HATE IN MY CLASS

I'M GETTING MARRIED TO A GIRL I HATE IN MY CLASS

Something's here...

What?! Is the Alpha Centauri invading?!

A ghost! There's a ghost!

It's looking pale and whispering something!

There's nothing there.

There is!

Oh, yeah? Good night.

Wake up! Don't leave me alone!

Don't worry, you're not alone.

Mother Nature and all Earthlings are on your side.

Don't just say random stuff and sleep!

Go to bed!

I can't! I won't let you either!

What if my soul gets taken away by the ghost?!

What do you want me to do...

I'll go check whatever's bothering you!

No, stay here!

But we must see for ourselves!

Please!

I can't... Gotta move out... Exorcise...

Elaborate, please?

There's the ghost again...

I heard footsteps from the living room while I was studying...

Drap, drap... That's the sound...

I see...

Bring me back some photos for evidence, then.

As if I can do that! It might haunt me, and my phone might explode!

Ghosts these days sure have the firepower.

Why are you studying here?

I'm just watching over you so you won't get attacked by the ghost!

I'm perfectly fine. Go back to your room.

I'm not going out, meow! This is my room, meow!

Where are you going?

I'm taking a leak. Stay in the room.

Open up! Do your business with the door open for tonight!

Yeah, right!

Even a dog would relieve itself in the open!

I'm not a dog!

I'm going to the bathroom.

Sure.

Um...

What?

It's dangerous for me to take a bath alone,

s-so could you...

...come with me?

Huh?!

Can't you?

All right, just for tonight.

Hey, are you there?

You're there, right?! Are you okay?!

The world is me and I am the world...

Why aren't you answering?! Want me to get mad?!

Put on a towel, will you?!

That girl these days...

Your wife grumbling?

No, it's not that.

How do you tell it's about Akane?

I can tell by the way you sound.

When you're tired of your married life,

you'd run away to the comfort of my chest.

I am the devilish woman that heals such emotion.

Enough with the dubious phrasing.

But it's not.

Everyone needs a place to escape reality.

You need me.

And I also need you.

Don't hold back. Just give in to my comfort.

With my overflowing tolerance,

I will embrace your everything.

It's dangerous, so get off there.

So, what about your wife?

Akane said she saw a ghost in our house.

She's freaked out that the ghost would stand near our bed, and make footsteps.

So much that she can't take a bath alone.

You're a pervert, Cousin.

I'm not. We didn't actually get in together in the end.

But you actually wanted to go together, right?

As if.

Perhaps it might actually be a ghost.

Yeah, that's cap.

I will investigate what's going on.

Akane, you're married to my cousin, right?

No!

I see through everything.

You two are living under the same roof...

All right, let's go for a walk!

Yeah, a walk together!

Such flawless teamwork...

So this is the power of marriage.

Saito, I thought I told you not to tell a living soul about us!

What were you thinking?!

I didn't tell her at all! She just found out on her own!

Right, Shisei?!

Hang on. I can't remember the punchline for the comedy show I watched last night.

Who cares about that?! My life is on the line here!

Which one should I choose, the punchline or your life...

Don't get confused!

There's no lie in his words.

I looked into your marriage on my own.

Really?

No amount of people can fool my eyes.

I guess there's no way Saito's family wouldn't notice...

Sorry for keeping this from you, Shisei.

No problem.

I heard from him that you're troubled by a ghost at home.

That's right! Not to mention, he doesn't believe it at all!

He can't tell the gravity of the situation!

I can tell that house...

...is possessed by evil spirits.

I knew it!

If we don't exorcise soon, the calamity will spread.

All your grades might go down for 50 points each.

Such disaster! What should we do, Shisei?!

All it takes is for me to see the house.

Have faith in Shisei.

My...

What do you think, Master?

A large amount of spirits is gathering.

This house will soon sink into the afterlife.

Shisei?!

Does that mean we're too late?! Maybe we should burn the whole house?!

Don't be too rash!

Fear not.

I will get to the centre of the psychic disturbance,

and destroy it to disperse the spirits.

Please, Master!

What's this room?

My studying room.

I don't use it for studying, so it's more like a reading room.

For one of your indecent books?

Saito...

Nope.

I know it all.

That the books you read have a lot of lewd scenes in them.

When I try to peak, you'd close the book in an instant.

No porn is allowed in my house! That's so filthy!

It's just a normal novel! Even movies have lewd scenes too, right?!

I must investigate your lewd book room.

It's not!

I'll confiscate any dirty books.

Why are we deviating now?

Wow...

Found your underwear, Cousin.

What are you showing me?!

Sniff, sniff...

It doesn't smell of you, but of detergent.

It's been laundered.

Well, duh!

I will now investigate Akane's studying room.

Wait, Shisei. There are no spirits in my room.

It's safe.

You don't want me to dig through your underwear?

No, I don't! Please just look for the spirits!

It's more fun looking for underwear...

No, it's not!

I saw a shadow when I was sleeping over there.

It looked like a little child.

Although, it disappeared soon as I screamed.

I see...

Have you figured it out?

Shisei?

Give her some time.

Right now, her brain cells are working fast,

to calculate all sorts of possibilities.

She'll definitely come to the truth.

I guess we can trust her...

I think I know who the ghost is.

You do?

Must be a cat, right? Or maybe a rat?

The ghost...

...was me.

Huh?

Um, what do you mean?

I deduced it from where and when the ghost appeared,

and its moving patterns.

The ghost was me.

After all, I've been visiting your house since a few days ago.

Then say so!

I see, so it was you... Thank goodness...

Then say so!

Grandpa gave me the keys right after I asked him.

That old man...

The reason I came visit in secret...

...is so that I wouldn't be in the way of your lovey-dovey moments.

It's not lovey-dovey!

Since I solved your case, I want dinner as a reward.

But you're the detective and the culprit!

I ate Akane's handmade lunchbox the other day,

it was really good.

R-Really?

My mouth was super watering.

Your cooking is world's finest.

Well, obviously! I guess some people can tell!

Search the whole galaxy, nay, the whole parallel universe,

you won't find a better cook than me!

I want to eat your cooking.

I'm super hungry.

I'll make all the meals you want!

So good... This tastes like heaven.

Glad it suits your taste.

Let me know if you want anything else.

Munch, munch...

You got rice on your cheek again.

Hey...

What's wrong?

Uh, nothing...

Aren't they... too close?

Cousin, you're so good.

Right? Try for yourself.

You know how to play, right?

I do, but being in your arms...

...feels so good...

Hey, you two?

Wh-What?

It's nothing.

It's definitely something. You've been angry since earlier, right?

I'm not!

But you are! You look like a demon!

How dare you call a girl a demon!

I'll pull out all your front teeth!

So scary...

It's getting late. I should wash myself.

I'm going in too.

Hey, isn't she the same age as us?!

I always take a bath together with him.

Always?!

We rarely go in together recently!

Recently?! Rarely?!

Take a bath one by one! Get going already!

Yes, Sir!

Where's Shisei?

She's still gaming.

I already prepared the bed for her. She'll go to sleep eventually.

Finally, we can talk alone...

Hmm? Did you want to talk with me alone?

Not exactly...

I have a lot of complaints to you!

I can't just say them in front of Shisei!

Complaints...

I'm listening.

Right...

I wish you'd tell me sooner if you bought that cat game.

You've been busy with studying.

I thought I'd disturb you.

You wouldn't.

I could use a breather too. Besides...

I wanted to play it first...

You wanted to get better first so you could wreck me?

Talk about evil.

Not that! I wanted to play it first before Shisei...

I don't get it! Why did I want to play it first?!

Don't ask me. I wouldn't get it.

You should! Since your grades are so good for nothing!

What do you mean?!

I'm saying fish paste doesn't need the latest computer!

I don't remember being fish paste!

How poor of you, having your memories reforged!

You're definitely fish paste!

Definitely not!

That's a load off my chest.

I really should complain to you once a day.

You're saying as if you need to hit a sandbag once a day...

Enough with that, will you?

Is that all?

Oh, one more thing.

What?

Um, well...

It's about Shisei...

Sorry for having her stay over so suddenly.

That's okay.

She's so cute, after all.

I mean, how do I put it...

Aren't you pampering her too much?

She's the type to eat random stones off the ground if left unsupervised.

Is there a problem?

There's... no problem...

There's not, but...

Wait, why am I complaining to you?

Hey, did you just rub my butt?!

Huh?! No way...

You're touching my thigh too!

Why do I have to do something so scary?!

You're the scary one! I'm not as reckless as to touch a dragon!

What do you mean I'm a dragon?!

I'll burn you to ashes, not even a strand a hair will be left of you!

That's what scares me about you!

Silence. One is trying to sleep.

Shisei?

Since when you were here?!

Since before human civilisation.

Yeah, right.

I will sleep with my cousin.

Whenever he stays over, we always sleep together.

Always?

Not always. Only when she really wants to.

I have been with him since I was a baby.

It feels most calming when hugging him.

I'm so lonely. It's unfair for you to always be together with him.

It's not! I'm not doing this because I like it!

Really?

Really! It's just a condition set by our grandparents for our marriage!

So...

If you really want to sleep alone with him, then so be it.

I don't really want to!

I will sleep on the floor so you can have sex freely.

We've never even done that, and we don't intend to!

Let's sleep together!

So you get jealous too, Akane.

What are you saying?

You were angry because I flirted with him, right?

Huh? I wasn't.

Nothing can fool my eyes.

Are you blushing?

I'm not.

He's a slow one, so you must be clear or he won't understand.

What are you talking about?!

I'm relieved.

I was worried if he could live peacefully here.

What do you mean...

Good night.

You'd better explain yourself!

And you're too close to him! Have some shame, will you!

#5 I WON'T LOSE