All language subtitles for Anger Management _ S2E15 - [2012].eng

So, nolan, we haven't talked
about how you're doing.

You seem a little bit
out of it today, even for you.

I don't know what's wrong
with me lately.

I've been spacey
and forgetful

And I've been
snacking a lot.

Have you been doing
a little bit of this?

Making turkey
shadow puppets?

Sometimes.
Mostly when I'm high.

That is the first and last
time I am ever taking the bus.

I told the driver
I was in a hurry,

But he stopped for, like,
every person who wanted a ride.

That is the problem
with public transportation.

Why are you
taking the bus?

'cause she's a foreigner.

That's where
all non-americans

Go to plot against
the rest of us.

Hey, just because I'm not fat
doesn't mean I'm not american.

I'm proud of my curves.

Lace, we only have
a few minutes left,

So why don't you sit down
and tell us what happened?

Last night the stupid police
took my license away

For a month
for no reason at all.

I mean, the jerk I was chasing
was driving, like, 100

And I was only going 60,

Which I know is still
a lot for a sidewalk.

- Who were you chasing?
- This guy I've been seeing.

He invited me to this club,
then ditched me at the bar

And took off
with some skank.

Why? He had a perfectly good
one right in front of him.

Thank you.

Lacey, you're on probation.

Was the risk of a car chase
really worth it?

And if you'd caught the guy,
what sort of enlightened exchange

Were you expecting to have with
the gentleman and his skank?

Okay, we're out of time.
I'll see you all next Tuesday.

Hey, lacey, can I have a
word with you before you go?

A little outside
of what we deal with here,

But I'm concerned about
your choices in men.

I know, I know.

But it's so hard to find
a hot guy with a slow car.

No, no. I'm talking about
your self-destructive pattern

Of choosing men
who mistreat you.

Don't you think
you deserve a better guy?

Come on,
that's just how guys are.

That's not true. There's
a lot of guys out there

Who would take you dancing and
never even look at another woman.

I know, but turning gay
guys is so much work.

I'm talking about straight guys
who would do anything for you.

Sure, they do. You sit
next to one in group.

You think I should
go out with nolan?

No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.

I'm just saying that there's
1,000 nice guys out there

Who would do
anything for you.

Oh, my god.
Are you hitting on me?

What? No.

No. Just keep your eyes open
when you're at the supermarket

Or the laundromat
or the library.

You've never been to any
of those places, have you?

Next time, only one of
us wears the blindfold.

That was just a lot
of gropin' and hopin'.

All right, good night.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?

I'm going to sleep.

No, no, no, no, no.

We don't do sleep.

When we're done,
we just high-five

And go our separate ways.

The guys in porn cuddle
more than you do.

I told you how I feel
about sleeping over.

The next thing you know,
we'll be happily married

And completely miserable.

You can't send me home.
It's 3:00 in the morning.

Okay, look, if you want to
stay for a bit, we can talk.

I'd rather sleep.

Drive safe.

Okay. Okay, fine.
I'll talk.

Let me ask you something.

Where would you go
to meet nice guys?

Boy, you really are
desperate to cuddle.

No, it's lacey. She's
attracted to these toxic men

And I just thought
it'd be good for her

To meet somebody nice.
Any ideas?

Well, you have to get her
out of the clubs and bars.

There's museums,
there's charities.

I met a really nice guy
at my improv comedy class.

I'm sorry,
your what now?

Improvisational
comedy class.

I read a study that
suggests that therapists

Who incorporate humor
into their practice

Have a 32% higher
success rate.

I, for one, want to laugh
my way to success.

That's actually the name
of the class, too.

How's that working
out for you?

Ahem.
Give me a location,

A food, and a famous
historical figure.

No, that's fine. You don't
have to prove anything.

Why, mr. Lincoln,

What are you doing
at the taj mahal

Drinking
a root beer float?

Yeah, I'm gonna
go home now.

Anger Management 215

Coming.

Hi, lacey.
Bus was early today?

I got a ride with nolan.
He's always sitting outside

In his car
with binoculars anyway.

Well, stick around
after group.

I have some suggestions on where
you can meet a better class of guys.

Hey, lacey, you left
your latte in the car.

Is it the correct
drinking temperature yet?

Ah!

Couple more minutes.

I'll get some ice for you.

Thank you. That'll cool
the coffee down faster.

- Hi, sam.
- Hey.

You're really
scrubbing there.

You okay or is it
an ocd thing?

No, I dropped my phone in the toilet
and I had to reach in and get it.

You reached into a toilet?

Wow, that's got to be
a big step for you.

I'm proud and disgusted
at the same time.

I had to answer it.

I guess my compulsion
of answering a ringing phone

Is stronger than
my obsession with germs.

Well, we all have
our priorities.

Okay, everybody,
let's get started.

I don't usually
begin with a theme,

But today I'd like
to discuss secrets.

Because there is nothing
more unhealthy

Than keeping them
to ourselves.

Anybody have something
they would like to reveal?

I would.

I don't trust
black weathermen.

Good example.
Anyone else?

Or jewish sportscasters.

Of course,
that goes without saying.

I mean, does anyone else
want to share a secret?

Okay.
This is very delicate,

But I was spending one summer
with my aunt and uncle

And I found out that they
were both the same person.

Fascinating.

How about you, nolan?
Lacey?

can I tell them
we're going out?

Oh, my god!
You're going out?

can I tell them now?

It seems like
they already know.

Fine, we're going out.

Finally, a secret
worth exploring.

You said something the other
day about me needing a nice guy.

And normally when you talk, I just
hear, "blah, blah, blah, blah."

But this time I heard, "blah, blah,
blah, blah, nolan, blah, blah."

And it really moved me.

So I thought
I'd give it a shot.

Okay. Okay.
Well, as a therapist,

It's not my place to judge
the choices that you make.

So, everybody else,

Feel free to judge
the choices they make.

- I think it's great.
- Of course you do.

If it makes them happy
to be together,

Maybe they won't have
to come here anymore,

And that'll make me happy and I
won't have to come here anymore.

And with the three
of them gone,

I can finally finish my story
about my aunt bruce.

Unbelievable.

You people criticize the
muffins I put out every week,

But nobody has any issues
with this?

Well, it's just that if you
put out a chocolate chip muffin,

The chips should be evenly
distributed throughout the muffin.

People dating within a therapy
group is a terrible idea.

It can only lead to dishonesty
and manipulation.

Look, I know it seems weird,
but I deserve someone like nolan.

I mean, yeah, he's not the sort of
guy I've gone out with in the past,

But I believe
I can change.

Yeah, and I'm sure
that I can change, too.

I used to only be into super
controlling girls, but now--

Hey, what did I say
about talking too much?

Nolan, you don't have to
listen to her. You can talk.

I don't know
about this, charlie.

I feel a little creepy
installing a tracking program

On our daughter's phone.

Look, if we're replacing
her phone, we might as well.

It's like when they tag a giraffe
so they can see where it migrates,

What it eats,
and most importantly,

To make sure
it doesn't mate.

But this is just
for her safety, right?

I mean, she's a good kid.

We're not trying to catch
her doing something bad.

No, we're not trying to,

But we'll be able to.

Without even leaving
the house.

I feel like the jetsons.

Test it. Telephone,
where are you now?

According to this, we're at
a chipotle in albuquerque.

Oh, I love the one here.
I wonder if that one's good.

I think I entered
the wrong number.

Look, I know you're worried about lacey
and nolan dating, but you don't have to be.

I'm the one
who gave her the idea.

No, I mean, it's not
going to last.

Women like lacey
don't go out with guys

Because their anger shrink
tells them to.

The only reason she'd be with
nolan is so she could use him.

Use him for what?
Tap water?

I dated a guy for three months
'cause he had air conditioning.

That's terrible.

Charlie, it was really hot.

Old people were dying.

Yeah, well,
if lacey's using him,

Then nolan's gonna
be destroyed.

He's convinced he's found
the abusive girl of his dreams.

I mean, it's not like
I wasn't putting out.

I've got to talk to her.

I don't know
who we're tracking,

But right now they're at the
dave & busters in new orleans.

These people
know how to live.

It's not even
the weekend.

Hey, lace.
Thanks for coming by early.

Am I in trouble?

'cause if I am, I would
have worn something tighter.

Impossible.

No, I just wanted to see how
things are going with you and nolan.

Oh, good.

Like, I mean, I complete him
or he completes me or whatever.

Lacey, I'm gonna ask you something
and I need you to tell me the truth.

Are you using nolan?

What? No. Oh, my god, I would never.

I'm so insulted,
I don't know what to do.

Lacey, our entire
relationship

Is predicated on you
being honest with me.

So I'm gonna ask you again,
are you using nolan?

Can we talk
patient to therapist?

Of course.
I'll be the therapist.

When I lost my license,
I couldn't go anywhere.

I couldn't get my hair done,
my nails done.

My brazilian was starting
to be reclaimed by the jungle.

Okay, okay.

So you're acting like his
girlfriend so he'll drive you around?

Hey, it's a good deal
for him, too.

He gets what he always wanted--
to be near me.

Lacey, you can't
do this to him.

Sure, I can.
He's not very bright.

The minute you get your license
back, you're gonna dump him.

Before we break up,
I'll let him touch the sides.

Lacey, this is degrading
to you, degrading to nolan,

And not to mention you're completely
rewriting the rules of second base.

I will not let you abuse
nolan like this.

Yes, you will because
of a little something

Called patient-therapist
confidentiality.

Here's your pressed beet
green apple wheatgrass

Ginger juice with a soy
protein power boost.

A boost?
I didn't ask for a boost.

I know, but I thought
you'd like it.

You know what I like?
I like what I asked for.

From now on, make sure
that's what I get.

Nolan, you think you deserve
to be treated like this?

Not yet, but I think
I can earn it eventually.

So I turned to the table
next to me,

"if you don't shut up, I'm gonna come
over there and I'm gonna shut you up."

I know you're trying to be
more direct with your anger,

But there's no reason
to threaten a baby.

Oh, fine,
take that jerk's side.

Everybody else did.

Do you want another
diet coke, chipmunk?

No, I'm at max bloat.

Chipmunk.

I take back everything
I said before.

These two together are the most
disgusting thing I've ever seen.

And I delivered a baby
by cesarean section

In the cambodian jungle

Using nothing but the lid
off a can of beans.

Actually, ed, what you're describing
is quite beautiful.

Not if you're in the middle of a fully
equipped field hospital

Just trying to get intel
out of a pregnant lady.

For the younger members
of our group,

This was a very turbulent
time in our history.

Nobody was right,
nobody was wrong.

Nobody won,
everyone lost.

I lost a can of beans.

I am so glad
you didn't say the baby.

Okay, everybody,
I'll see you next Tuesday.

Bye.

Nolan, can I talk
to you for a minute?

What are you gonna
talk to him about?

Oh, that's right. You have
doctor-patient confidentiality.

- I know. - You remember doctor-patient
confidentiality, don't you?

- Yes, lacey, I do.
- You better.

Okay, maybe I'm being
a little sensitive,

But this seems like
an unusual conversation.

I'll be in the car.

- I'll miss you.
- Yeah, yeah.

So things are going
well with you guys?

Well, we've spent most of our
relationship driving around in the car.

I'd like to change
that a little.

But other than that,
things are great.

Nolan, have a seat.

Let me tell you
about a movie I once saw.

It's called
"she's using you."

I never heard of it.
Who's in it?

Tom cruise.

How did I miss it? I've
seen all three of his movies.

It doesn't matter. What matters
is the point of the movie.

Which, once again,
is called "she's using you."

It's about a guy who thinks he's
in a relationship with a girl,

But it turns out
she's what, nolan?

A double agent.

No, no.
She's using him

Because she lost her license and
needs someone to drive her around

And run her errands under
the guise that they're dating.

Is this an indian girl?

I'm afraid so.

God, I am such an idiot.

What was I thinking?

There's no way a girl like lacey
could ever love a loser like me.

Nolan, you're not a loser.

It's just sometimes we just
see things the way we want to.

What am I gonna do?

You're gonna go out there

And you're gonna pretend that you
figured this out all by yourself

And you're gonna
talk to her

And it's gonna be okay because
everything you need is right here.

You're right.

I meant your heart.

You got to slow down
on this stuff, nolan.

I do.

No, I mean you've got
to take it easy on it.

I do.

What was that about?

Nothing. He just asked
me to move a couch.

And while we were doing that,
I figured out all by myself

That you're using me.

I can't believe
he told you.

You're not the one
who gets to be mad.

You used me, lacey.

Please, that's what
relationships are.

Guys use girls,
girls use guys,

And sometimes girls
use toys because guys

Don't know what
the hell they're doing.

Some people are looking
for more than that.

Look, I'm not stupid, okay?

I know the only reason
a guy goes out with me

Is because he wants this.

Well, not me.

I don't like you because
of your cocoa skin,

Your crazy big boobs, or your
beautiful heart-shaped butt.

I don't even notice
those things.

I like you because
of who you are inside.

Even if you were
just a head in a box,

I'd drive you around.

You'd drive me around if
I was just a head in a box?

Yeah, put you up
on the dashboard,

Put some sunglasses on you,

Keep the flies off you.

Wow.

You'd still
do that for me?

You know what?

Let's go somewhere and do
something that you want to do.

Really?

Anything?

Yeah.

Want to go park behind
7- eleven and get stoned?

That is the nicest thing

Anyone's ever asked me
to do behind a 7-eleven.

Why do you have this map

With an arrow blinking
on the olive garden?

It must be where sam's
having dinner right now.

In sydney, australia.

Did she work up an appetite
smoking one of these?

I wanted him to have a clear
head when he spoke to lacey.

He hasn't returned my calls.
Where the hell is he?

I don't know. Maybe he's
with your daughter in--

Oh, look, they're in
the middle of the ocean now.

Should we get pizza
or seafood?

- Do you like mushrooms? - This could be
the best thing that ever happened to him.

I like mushrooms.

Hello.
Yeah.

Where?

All right,
I'll be right there.

- I'll be back in an hour.
- Where are you going?

Nolan and lacey just robbed
a 7-eleven. She's in jail.

Mushrooms it is.

- Nolan.
- Charlie.

Thank god you came.
They impounded my car.

What the hell happened?

Well, first lacey
and I got high.

I thought I took
your pot.

You took
my front pocket pot.

I also have back pocket pot,
sock pot, and underwear pot.

Shh!
We're in a police station.

- Just tell me what happened.
- We're behind the 7-eleven.

Lacey decided that she
wanted to make s'mores,

So she stuffed marshmallows
and hershey bars down her dress.

Who had
the graham crackers?

Damn.
I am so stupid.

We would have had to go back.

What happened to breaking up? What
happened to standing up for yourself?

- She's still using you.
- No, not anymore, charlie.

She's different now.
She's changed.

You're on probation. They can keep
you locked up in here for 30 days.

Relax, I'm having
my dad call his lawyer.

He owes me a favor.

I let him touch
the sides once.

You should have told them
that I was the one that did it.

That I shoved the marshmallows down
your dress when you weren't looking.

Trust me,
I thought about it,

But I couldn't
do that to you.

Good for you, lacey.
You've shown a little bit of growth.

Hopefully the other prisoners will
see that and not try to stab you.

Well, lacey's in jail.

I'm assuming by now she's
fashioned her iud into a shiv.

You know, charlie,

We can never imagine

Who our patients
truly are.

The words they tell us

Are like grains of sand

Gathered from the beaches
of their mind

And it is our job
to help them

Collect that sand
and build castles of thought

Which can never
be washed away.

What the hell
are you talking about?

I don't know.

I am completely stoned
out of my mind.

Kate. Kate.

Kate, that was nolan's
front pocket weed.

Oh, my god.

Do I love crunch berries.

Okay, come on.

Let's get you upstairs.

Why is your escalator
always broken?

What the hell
am I doing here?

Hi, kate.

I slept over,
you son of a dick!

I know.
You want some breakfast?

Hell, no!

I already slept over.
I'm not letting this get any further.

Okay, but I went out
and bought crunch berries.

I hate you.