All language subtitles for Anger Management _ S2E14 - [2012].eng

Even though my father hadn't called
me on my last three birthdays,

this time, I was hopeful,
so I waited until midnight

and when he didn't call,
I was completely...

- devastated.
- Yes!

Damn it!

- What's going on?
- I just made 20 bucks.

I had "devastated"
in the Patrick pool.

I was sure he'd say "aghast."

When it's family members or bad
chardonnay, he always goes with "aghast."

Everything in Patrick's
life either makes him feel

devastated, aghast,
or speechless.

I cannot believe this.

I am speech...
I hate you people.

Well, I have to say
that I am disappointed.

Whoo!

- Disappointed.
- Whoo!

Okay, okay. I think I see
what's going on here.

Lately, you're either
"disappointed"

or "extremely disappointed."

That's because you're supposed to be
sharing, not attacking each other.

Lacey, you of all people should
understand Patrick's pain.

You have
a distant father also.

Probably some nomadic Arab,

spends all his time in the
desert looking for the goat

that's gonna be his next wife.

I told you a thousand times,
old man.

He was born in India.

Get a globe,
you bloated hillbilly.

Lacey, that's enough.
Listen to yourselves.

You've been doing nothing
but sniping at each other.

The reason we do this
in a group

is so you can help each other
resolve your anger issues,

not... not bet on
what Patrick will say

or... or laugh when Nolan
gets lost in his hoodie.

Yeah, it's not funny.

Once your head's in the
sleeve, panic sets in.

I'm sorry.

It was funny for
the first couple minutes.

Then it was sad.

Then it was really,
really funny again.

You might wanna take a lesson from
the "Taj Ma-whore" over there.

She doesn't have any trouble
getting outta her clothes.

Patrick:
She is not a slut, Ed.

Her clothes fall off her body because
they're cheap and poorly made.

Shut up!

Oh, what's the matter, Lacey?

- Are you devastated?
- Okay, okay, stop it!

Stop it!

What is wrong with you people?

You know what?
Don't answer that.

Nobody talk.

We are all... gonna close our
eyes and sit here for a minute

and reflect
on what just happened.

[both sigh]

Hey, Charlie. Aren't you
supposed to be in group?

Yeah, but they're pissing me off.
I'm really disappointed.

Nolan: Whoo-hoo!

Meditate!

You guys back from
horseback riding already?

We never went. We found out
they retired Butterscotch.

Oh, no.

[quietly] Who's Butterscotch?

My favorite horse of all time.

They shipped him off
to an "equine therapy ranch"

in San Bernardino, but I think
we all know what that means.

They didn't
kill the horse, Mom.

Equine therapy
is a real thing.

People go to take care of a horse
so they can relax and de-stress.

That's right, honey.

Of course, it's a real thing.

Butterscotch is alive and well

and helping people
not be crazy by being alive.

Dad, will you please tell her?

Let me see if I can help.

It's true, Jen.

Equine therapy
is a real thing.

And so are crazy people.

No crap? Well, that's cool.

Hey, the horse is alive.

Uh-uh.

What? It just sounded fake.

Well, it's not. It's a
highly respected method

of helping people with anxiety,
ADD, social disorders.

Basically everyone
in the other room.

You think they're open next week?
Maybe I can take the group.

Hey, you could
take me and Sam.

- She could see Butterscotch.
- Well, I guess.

I mean, she'd be hanging with the
group, if you're okay with that.

Sure. I'm always saying
Sam doesn't have enough

angry, psychotic role models.

Don't beat yourself up, Jen.

There's only so much
one woman can do.

I'm gonna go tell
the group about the trip.

They're meditating.

You know what?
I'll tell 'em later.

They're gone, aren't they?

Everyone except Ed.
He's asleep.

Someone drew what I can only hope is
a rocket ship going into his mouth.

[theme music playing]

Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.com

Horse therapy.

So you really think that's
going to help your group bond?

Haven't you seen "Seabiscuit"?

That horse healed a nation and...
fought the Germans, or something.

- That doesn't sound right.
- Fine, I didn't see it,

but I can tell from the poster that
whatever he did was pretty impressive.

Charlie, therapy groups
are like rock bands.

Eventually they get sick
of each other, it becomes toxic,

somebody has to leave,
usually the bass player.

I was the best thing
in that band.

Yeah, well, my gut tells me they still
have something to offer each other.

Charlie, you only think
with two things,

your gut and your gut's
downstairs neighbor.

And they both
make dumb decisions.

It's time to start
using your brain.

You know what? I can't
be in a nonemotional,

no-commitment relationship with
you if you don't respect me.

Aw, come on, Charlie.

I thought you were happy
with our dynamic.

You're reaching
and I'm settling.

Cute.

But even Freud said that there's
meaning behind every joke...

except for the one about the
restaurant on the moon.

The restaurant on the moon?

Yeah, it's got no atmosphere.

That's just funny.

Actually, it's a commentary
on societal norms

and the expectations
of the nouveau riche.

Okay, I don't think
you get it.

The place has got no air.

God, you are the most condescending
person I've ever met.

I don't think you mean
"condescending."

I think you mean
"patronizing."

Don't tell me what I mean.
I'll tell you what I mean.

Then tell me what you mean.

It's got no air!

Everybody, this is Butterface.

It's Butterscotch, sir.

[scoffs] Of course it is.

Look at him,
his face is beautiful.

And this is Jimmy.

He'll teach you how to groom
and feed Butterscotch.

But no riding.
That's our policy.

Despite what every single picture
in the brochure suggests.

Would you like
to pet him, miss?

I don't pet animals.
They get too excited.

Well, he's not excited now.

He's feeling scared and tired.

How in the hell
would you know that?

Well, I've had a mystical
connection with horses

ever since I was 10 when
one kicked me in the head.

Well, there's one tiny
piece of the puzzle.

Anyway, as a group you'll be
responsible for his daily care.

Grooming, feeding, exercising,
cleaning out his stall.

Nolan can't
do that for himself.

How in the hell is he
gonna do it for a horse?

All right, all right. Everybody
needs to chill around the horse.

He's a little stressed
since they moved him here

and they haven't
gotten him to eat yet.

If I weighed 1,200 pounds,
I wouldn't eat either.

Oh, you'd eat.

But you'd so be jamming
your hoof down your throat.

So let's divvy up the chores.

- Who wants to do what?
- Ooh, can I do nothing?

The bonding experience only
works if everyone participates.

Can't we just bond
as a group separately?

I get along with people so much
better when I'm not around them.

That kind of sarcasm may work
in the big city, Patrick,

but you're out here
in cowboy country now.

35 minutes east of the big
city, depending on traffic.

Now who wants to try to
get Butterscotch to eat?

I brought a bag of something
that always makes me hungry.

We want him to eat, not sit
around and watch cartoons.

Hey, Ed, why don't you
handle the grooming?

All right.

Now don't let
this thing throw you.

It's called a brush.

It's for something
younger people call hair.

Patrick, that's the kind of behavior
that we're trying to change.

So, since you can dish it out,
let's see if you can scoop it up.

[laughs]

Looks like somebody
picked the wrong day

to wear suede loafers
with no socks.

- That's not helpful, Nolan.
- Oh, Butterscotch said it.

I just repeated it. Good one.

[gasps] Oh, my gosh!

Butterscotch, hi!

I missed you so much!

Hey.

- 'Sup?
- Nothin'.

Cool.

- 'Sup?
- Mom!

What?

Hey. Did you see what
was going on back there?

Yeah, I saw and I'm worried.

Me, too. But he is gorgeous.

Yeah, I guess.

He does have those
big, beautiful eyes.

Makes you want to
take care of him.

"Take care of him"?

I'm worried he's gonna
try and have sex with Sam.

Butterscotch?

The stable boy! What the
hell's wrong with you?

Aren't you worried she's
gonna hook up with Jimmy?

Well, now that I've considered this
other thing, that doesn't seem so bad.

She can't take her eyes
off that boy.

It's all in your head,
Mrs. Robinson.

Just because you wanna gallop
bareback on the stable boy

doesn't mean Sam does.

"Gallop bareback"? I'm old
enough to be his MILF.

Uh, technically you're
not somebody's MILF.

You're a MILF.

Oh, thank you.

People think you're old and tired
and no use to anybody, don't they?

Sounds like you two
have a lot in common.

No, he reminds me of my wife.

Except people still wanna
ride you, don't they, buddy?

Could you move, please?
I wanna do his bangs.

Okay, almost perfect.

Now you just gotta shake it out
like you just don't care.

Hey.

I'm only feeding him
a couple extra bags of carrots.

I don't see
what the problem is.

The problem is I have
to clean up after him.

There is orange poop
everywhere.

You have turned this poor animal
into a Play-Doh Fun Factory.

Shut up, you're
upsetting the horse.

You shut up. You're the
one yelling in his ear

and trying to turn him into a
five-dollar, four-legged whore.

Hey, the horse says
to stop yelling at her.

And he also thinks
she looks really hot.

And it wouldn't kill her
to wear a miniskirt tomorrow.

Shut up.

Stop acting like this horse is
talking to you inside your head.

Oh, my God, Lacey, what
have you done to his mane?

Somebody get me a flat iron!

All right, that's it.

I'm not gonna stand here
and listen to you people

treat this horse like
some kind of an animal.

Where you going, Ed?

- What happened here?
- I'll tell you what happened here.

The last time I was around
people I hated this much,

I was around these people.

[manure plops]

Okay, the fun factory's open
again and I am not playing.

It's okay, Nolan.
You don't have to stay.

Oh, thank God.

The horse has asked me to do
some really weird things.

[sighs]

Well, Butterscotch, maybe I was wrong
about keeping the group together.

[lower] Yes, you were,
you big jackass.

Nice language, Butterscotch.

What, were you
raised in a barn?

[lower] That wasn't funny
when my mom said it.

[lower] Might've been
funnier if he was raised

in a restaurant on the moon.

What are you doing
all the way out here?

It was 20 minutes, no traffic.

Why don't you just
tell the truth?

You came to apologize.

No, I came here because
I like to ride horses

and I like the smell
of hay, not to apologize.

Apology accepted.

Thank you.

[sighs] And I'm sorry your group
bonding experiment isn't going well.

That was the horse's
opinion, not mine.

The group bailed.

But at least Lacey
put some glitter on the horse

and turned it into a
better-than-average looking stripper.

Look... I know how
bad you must feel.

I look into your eyes and I
can see how you're hurting

and I feel terrible for you.

Guh.

What? I was being sincere.

I know and it was awful.

I liked it much better when
you were being condescending.

I'm gonna make 'em stick it out one
more day and try to make this work.

- You know why?
- Nonrefundable deposit.

- A little.
- [chuckles]

But mostly because
I believe in them.

Oh, you're an idiot.

And she's back.

See you in a minute.

Oh, and, uh, when you do,

maybe it would be really hot if
we went for a horseback ride.

Oh, no. They don't allow you
to ride the horses out here.

You know, I had my first
orgasm riding a horse.

He does seem like he could
use a little exercise.

Can I see all the members of
Butterscotch's group, please?

[sighs]

[sighs]

Look, I know you guys aren't
loving this whole horse thing.

That's not true.
We love Butterscotch.

We just can't stand
each other.

And this wagon wheel
nightmare that is a hotel.

Fine, that's your prerogative.

You can give up on the group,

but you cannot ditch your
responsibilities to that horse.

I don't care how you do it, but
that horse will be taken care of

until we leave on Sunday.

Fine, I'll feed him.

Butterscotch reminds me
of my old Army buddy, Hank.

Hank also ate an apple
out of my hand.

'Course, he'd just had
both his arms blown off...

so it's a little different.

Well, you know what they say.

"An apple a day..."

All right.

I can make a quick schedule where
we all have visitation rights

and none of us
have to see each other.

Ed, you can take Butterscotch
in the mornings.

Nolan can take him
in the afternoons.

I can take him for dinner.

And Lacey can put him
to bed at night.

Great. You know
he hates to go to sleep

so I have to be the disciplinarian
and you get to be the fun one.

You're just jealous because the
horse and I have a rapport.

Oh, like you're his favorite?

He's ashamed of you.

Hey, did you know before
this was a horse ranch,

it was just land
that had no horses on it?

That's amazing.

So, who are you texting?

I don't know.

You know, we really don't get
to talk like this at home.

You really have to get away
for this kind of bonding.

[claps] So, that
stable boy, Jimmy...

- he's pretty cute, huh?
- I don't know.

Mm-hmm.

Look, I may be
worried over nothing,

but you just don't
want to get caught up

in the excitement of being
away from home for the weekend

and do something
you'll regret.

Mom, I'm not
going to have sex.

I still have those condoms
you gave me when I was 13

and you thought I was going to
be a more popular teenager.

Well, if you ever do wanna
talk about it, I'm here.

We have talks about sex
all the time.

I wish you'd get a boyfriend so we
could talk about something else.

Me, too.

So, how was that for you?

You still need me
for anything?

Plenty.

Would you be offended
if I called you Butterscotch?

I was kind of hoping
you'd be done

because what riding does for
women does the opposite for men.

- You're kidding.
- A lot of bouncing on things

that don't need
to be bounced on.

Oh, well, I've got
bad news, pardner.

You got lots more
bouncing to do.

[moaning]

Hard to believe, but this is going to
be my first actual roll in the hay.

It's also your first
stable relationship.

[whinnies]

Hey, Butterscotch liked it.

[Butterscotch whinnies]

[thuds]

Oh, my God. I think your
joke just killed the horse.

He's just sleeping, you know,
with his tongue hanging out

and foam coming out
of his mouth.

I've been that tired.

Charlie, the only thing missing
are the cartoon Xs over his eyes.

Oh, this is... this is so bad.

We just killed my daughter's
favorite horse.

What am I gonna do?

I say you put an empty
bottle of pills in its hoof

and we get
the hell out of here.

Where's Sam?
I got to talk to her.

She went to say
good night to Butterscotch.

- Oh, crap.
- What's wrong?

Well, here's the thing
about Butterscotch.

He's not doing all that well.

How can you tell?

Because he's dead.

What?

Yeah, I was with him earlier,

just petting him, and all
of a sudden, he just died.

You're lying.

I always know
when you're lying.

- You have a tell.
- Oh, really?

- What's my tell?
- You've lied to me for 20 years.

That's your tell.

Did your group do it?

Oh, God. I got to
deal with that, too.

No, no, it was me.

I took him out for a ride and when
he got back, he just... keeled over.

Damn it, Charlie.

Sam is so attached
to that horse.

This is gonna devastate her.

She's never had
to deal with death before.

I know, I was kind of hoping
my dad would die first

so she'd be ready
for something like this.

- Hey.
- Hey, Sam.

- You doing okay, sweetie?
- I'm good.

I just saw Butterscotch.

I am so sorry, Sam.

About him retiring?

It's okay.

I just walked him down to the
lake and we laid on the grass

and looked up at the stars
and he seemed really happy.

I'm gonna go
get ready for bed.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You were just
with Butterscotch?

Yeah.

And he walked to the lake?

Yeah.

He's so beautiful and sweet.

It's the best weekend
of my life.

Stable boy.

Hey, guys. I got your call.

I think it's great that you all came
together to honor Butterscotch.

Why do bad things
happen to good horses?

Who knows?
Maybe it was old age.

Maybe he ate something.

All we know for sure
is it was nobody's fault.

Good-bye, Butterscotch.

You were the glue
that held us together.

Bad words. Sorry.

I'm starting to forget
what he looks like already.

He was big and proud.

- Oh, right.
- [sobs]

Wow.

Your group really
pulled together for this.

So what you're saying is

my instincts to keep
the group together were right

and your giant, overeducated
brain was wrong.

Possibly.

Thank you.

I'm really glad
you came up here.

You are?

Yeah, I could use a ride home.

Jen got thrown off the property
for roughing up a stable boy.

So, you wanna go
kill another horse?

It's broad daylight.

The best I can offer is a
piggyback ride back to my room.

Ha-ha, giddy up!

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www.addic7ed.com