Original subtitles

(JUNIOR SCATTING)

JUNIOR: Hey, pops, what is that?

Tell me what we're gaping at.

SENIOR: (SIN GIN G) Well, right here, Junior

Is the greatest invention

The story of which I am about to reveal

JUNIOR: Well, frost me, poppa Can it be your intention

To bat your choppers Over nothing more than a wheel?

Your brain is all tied up in a sling

To think a wheel is such a great thing

SENIOR: Well, you young whippersnapper,

you name me a better inVention.

Sense-Ville, daddy-o, try this for size.

JUNIOR: (SIN GIN G) Don't you dig the airplane to be greater?

SENIOR: Why, without the old wheel

That thing would just go to pot

JUNIOR: The motorcar Now that was no second-rater

SENIOR: But take away the wheel And that invention is shot

There's not a single thing you can find

That ever did as much for mankind

Look here, pop, you must be in the wrong scene.

SENIOR: Not me.

JUNIOR: Let me toss some more examples at you.

- (SIN GIN G) The typewriter - Wheel

- The steam engine - Wheel

- Eli Whitney's cotton gin - Wheels, wheels, wheels

- The sewing machine - Wheel

- The washing machine - Wheel

JUNIOR: Never knew so many things Depended on wheels

And you can keep on naming them, son

But there's a wheel in every last one

So come on, Junior Let's go back through the ages

Way back in the days That I can hardly recall

And watch what happens Through the various stages

Beginning from the time When there were no wheels at all

JUNIOR: Now tell me Who are we gonna meet

On this deal?

- Why, the inventor, son - The inventor?

Yes, the inventor of the wheel

JUNIOR: Oh, fine. I'd loVe to meet him.

Ah. Now, then, Junior, looks like our boy there.

JUNIOR: Hey, look, no wheels.

Pops, well, I declare, he don't look like an inVentor to me.

Quiet, Junior. Just watch and see.

JUNIOR: Say, life was a struggle in the prehistoric age.

Yes. You'll note, Junior, man was in his bare, essential stage.

Food was scarce and clothes were few.

(ROARING)

JUNIOR: And I see there was a housing shortage, too.

SENIOR: Aha! Now we come to the part where the whole idea gets its start.

JUNIOR: Hey, buddy, wake up!

SENIOR: Turn around! Here's your big chance to be world-renowned.

DONALD: It is?

SENIOR: Sure! Draw up that idea.

That's it. Good! Study it.

Now then, is it understood?

No, uh-uh. What is it?

Why, that's a wheel, like the one you'Ve just seen.

What do I do with it?

What'll he do with it? Hey, use your bean!

SENIOR: Think of the possibilities! Where's your Vision?

This is no moment for indecision.

Say! Now, there's a great idea!

SENIOR: Oh, no, boy, no.

That use of the wheel is hardly apropos.

Go on and roll it, boy! Roll it down the hill.

Wait! I'll get it.

SENIOR: I'm sure you will.

Kazooks, pop. This cat is really nowhere!

In some circles, we'd call him square.

Well, he's pretty slow, Junior, but don't be upset.

Hey, boy, you haVen't got it yet.

Oh, yeah? Say, who are you two guys?

Why, we're the Spirits of Progress,

and we adVise you to pay some undiVided attention

while we help you with your great inVention.

Listen, and we'll show you how.

How what?

SENIOR: How to... Well, just follow us, now.

Find yourself a log. Here's what you do.

SENIOR: Slice off a slice. Yeah, better make it two.

Attach those slices to your sleigh.

JUNIOR: Hey, pull it, boy! Go ahead!

SENIOR: Now, young man, right here, you decide,

why should you pull when you can ride.

You better add sides to this knockabout

so you and your possessions won't fall out.

JUNIOR: Okay, driver, you know how!

Say, lookey there! He's making progress now.

(SIN GIN G) Man's first wheels Were heavy and queer

Better wheels were soon to appear

SENIOR: When the Egyptians came... JUNIOR: What'd they do?

- SENIOR: They made real progress. - How do you like those Egyptians?

(SIN GIN G) Early Greeks advanced the wheel more

Light and fast as never before

SENIOR: And then, the Romans came. JUNIOR: And what did they do?

- And they made progress. - Oh, those Romans.

(SIN GIN G) Soon, there were work carts Mail carts, strong carts, frail carts

Carriages and gigs

Wagons, chaises and cabriolets And all kinds of rigs

Transportation vastly improved

On those wheels How everything moved

SENIOR: People were traveling. JUNIOR: They were going.

SENIOR: On wheels of progress.

(NATIVES WHOOPING)

SENIOR: Stop!

Now, another phase, Junior.

(SIN GIN G) Taking good advantage of steam

Out of someone's wonderful dream

SENIOR: The locomotive came. JUNIOR: What for?

- To add to progress. - It did add something.

(SIN GIN G) Flanges on each rim of the wheel

Rolled along on ribbons of steel

SENIOR: Known as the railroad track. JUNIOR: Clickety-clack.

- And tracks of progress. - Progress? Yes.

(SIN GIN G) Those trains got bigger, stronger

And much longer

Faster, too, of course

Finally, man found That he could outrun a horse

Distances got shorter somehow

Lots of folks were traveling now

SENIOR: And it was all aboard

(JUNIOR TOO TIN G)

On wheels of progress.

SENIOR: Stop!

Now, the next phase, Junior.

(SIN GIN G) One day, man cried, "Blankety-blank!"

While he grimly twisted a crank

SENIOR: But when the engine caught... JUNIOR: Watch it, now.

SENIOR: He made slight progress.

JUNIOR: Get a horse!

(SIN GIN G) Rubber tires inflated with air

Wheels were truly going somewhere

(SPUTTERING)

SENIOR: And it was fun to be... JUNIOR: To be what?

- In stride with progress. - Good old progress.

(SIN GIN G) Soon roads were two lanes, four lanes

More and more lanes

Man sure took to wheels

Highways crammed and freeways jammed

With automobiles

Year by year, increasing the pace

Everyone got into the race

SENIOR: It was the motor age. JUNIOR: Ooh, the traffic.

(SIN GIN G) On wheels of progress

(CAR HORNS HONKING)

Stop!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(CRASHING)

I'd rather walk.

Goodbye!

What'd he say, Junior?

He implies he'd rather be a pedestrian, pops.

Now, boy, that's a negatiVe stand.

Let's get back to the problem at hand.

SENIOR: Almost two million years man endures,

waiting for that great inVention of yours.

You mean that thing?

Yes, lad, and don't you doubt it.

Why, even now, you couldn't liVe without it.

Oh, phooey, I'm doing fine without it.

No, no, my friend.

On this round Earth, you'Ve been spinning since your birth,

round and round on a wheel like that.

Don't kid me. The Earth is flat.

Pops, don't he know what Columbus proVed?

Son, this boy is way back, millenniums remoVed.

Then let's fill him in and set him straight!

Yeah. Say, Junior, why don't you elucidate?

Crazy!

Well, swinger, here's the bit.

Now, the globe spins like a wheel. You can quote what I say.

One full turn knocks off one full day.

Now to check out the moon, the fact we face is

it swings around the Earth on a monthly basis!

Both Luna and terra firma, they cut around the sun.

And dig this, it takes a year to get that done!

It's like, man, a natural timer.

One of those deals where nature naturally makes it with wheels.

Wheels within wheels. You with me, Duck?

Same kind of setup we use in a clock.

A different wheel for a different speed,

just what the hours, the minutes, and the seconds need!

Say, jump on that large wheel, Neanderthal.

This is fun!

And now, plant your wedgies on the little one.

Went pretty fast, didn't it, kid?

Wow! It sure did.

SENIOR: (SIN GIN G) Though it may seem incidental

Still a basic fundamental should be mentioned here

before the point is passed

Illustrating, if I may show, To show mathematic ratio

Will show just how slow the gears go Or how fast

Count the teeth around these two gears

You would know this if you knew gears

Now the large is twice the number, you'll concede

Twice the number, consequently, If you spin it even gently

You'll observe the smaller turning twice the speed

And that's the principle of the thing

That's the principle of the thing

How the gear speed is related To the ratio we have stated

Is the scientific principle of the thing

Now attend this demonstration Of some wheels in combination

Using shafts and belts and ratchets balls and pins

Here's eccentric gears elliptic Though the purpose may seem cryptic

They are all compiled In simple diagrams

Here are sculls and worms and sectors With escapements and connectors

These demand no explanation here, I trust

And the speed and gear reduction We determine in construction

Based upon the ratio earlier discussed

And that's the principle of the thing

That's the principle of the thing

How the gear speed is related To the ratio you have stated

Is the fascinating principle of the thing

What's it do?

SENIOR: Why, nothing, boy. It just illustrates...

(SIN GIN G) Fascinating principle of the thing

But what's it for?

SENIOR: All right, boy. At your insistence,

let me giVe you a for instance.

(S OFT MUSIC PLA YIN G)

SENIOR: The music box.

Love that tone.

And it led up to the gramophone.

(UPBEA T MUSIC PLA YIN G)

See, boy, what wheels can do?

Now, the gramophone progressed, too.

(OLD FOLKS A T HO ME PLAYING)

- Wheels! - SENIOR: You bet.

SENIOR: Step oVer to the music section.

Go on, boy, make a selection.

Okay.

SENIOR: There's cool contemporary jazz.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLA YIN G)

JUNIOR: How about some hoedown music, old timer?

(HOEDOWN MUSIC PLA YIN G)

SENIOR: And what charm the classic ballet has.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLA YIN G)

JUNIOR: What goes, daddy-o? I'm a little perplexed.

Oh, I see. You're gonna show us some moVies next.

Good idea.

SENIOR: Down in front, boy.

Now you'll see how your future life will be.

You'll wake up in the a.m. With a good day's work in View.

(RINGING)

Turn it off, boy.

DONALD: Wheels? SENIOR: Of course.

SENIOR: Wheels. Wheels. Wheels, wheels, wheels!

And wheels are gonna be inVolVed in everything you do.

- Wheels? - SENIOR: Certainly.

DONALD: Wheels?

SENIOR: Wheels for big wheel.

(TELEPHONES RINGING)

Hey! No wheels in there, I bet you.

SENIOR: Oh, yes, boy, there's wheels behind that light.

In fact, most everywhere.

They may not always be in sight, but still, they're there.

(SIN GIN G) There's wheels To generate electrical power

Industrial wheels On which production relies

Persistent circles turning hour by hour

To manufacture things Of all description and size

Wherever great machinery throbs

You'll find those good wheels Doing their jobs

There's wheels in water

Wheels in soil

Wheels for lumber

Wheels for oil

Wheels everyplace Even in space

Of all the great things man has begun

You gotta rate the wheel number one

SENIOR: So you see, my boy, no need to mention

you're about to father a great inVention.

Oh, no. I'm not gonna be responsible for that.

Goodbye.

What'd he say, Junior?

He says he's dropping the project, Dad.

And by the way, this knocks our wheels out of alignment.

Well, like you might say, Junior, we blew the assignment.

I picked out the wrong boy, I guess.

But there was an inVentor, nevertheless.

Oh, well.

(SIN GIN G) Whomever he may be I'm sure we all agree

We'd like to tell him Just the way we feel

So hurray for the inventor The marvelous inventor

The wonderful inventor of the wheel, wheel, wheel

The brave unknown inventor of the wheel

(JUNIOR SCATTING)

JUNIOR: (SIN GIN G) The wheel