Original subtitles

- CARLY: Legs! - SAM: Pudding!

- CARLY: Legs! - SAM: Pudding!

- CARLY: Legs! - SAM: Pudding!

- CARLY: Legs! - SAM: Pudding!

- CARLY: Legs! - SAM: Pudding!

- CARLY: Legs! - SAM: Pudding!

- CARLY: Legs! - SAM: Pudding!

- Oh, come on, legs are really important.

- I'm not saying that legs aren't important.

I'm saying they're not as important as pudding.

- Okay, you're insane. - SAM: Not really.

- Without legs, pants would be like:

"Duh, now what do we do?"

- Objection. Pants can't talk.

- Why are we swinging? - I don't know.

- Okay, this random debate is over.

- I won. - No.

We're gonna let the "iCarly" viewers decide who won.

- Fine, everyone at iCarly.com,

look at the homepage and vote

on what you think is more important.

- Legs. - Or pudding.

- If you don't vote, you don't care.

- VOICE: Random dancing.

- ♪

- Okay, later. - Pudding.

- Legs. Vote now. - ICarly.com.

- Bye. - Ciao.

- And we're clear.

- Yeah.

- Good show.

- Okay, let's go downstairs and snack it up.

- You coming?

- Uh, you guys go ahead.

I got some tech stuff to wrap up here.

- You wanna play on the swing?

- Will you push me? - Yes.

- FREDDIE: In five, four, three, two--

- ♪

♪ I know you see ♪

♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪

♪ And be so wonderful ♪

♪ Live life, breathe air ♪

♪ I know somehow we're gonna get there ♪

♪ And feel so wonderful ♪

♪ It's all for real ♪

♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪

♪ So wake up the members of my nation ♪

♪ It's your time to be ♪

♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪

♪ And the time to see ♪

♪ The brighter side of every situation ♪

♪ Some things are meant to be ♪

♪ So give your best and leave the rest to me ♪

♪ Leave it all to me ♪

♪ Leave it all to me ♪

♪ Just leave it all to me ♪

♪

- ♪

- Any votes come in yet? - Give me a sec.

- You know legs are gonna beat pudding.

- Don't bet on it.

Who wants a snack?

- I'm good.

- Hey, toss me an apple.

- Red or green?

- Red, 'cause green apples always--

Oh.

- Sorry, I put a little too much heat on that.

- You see what you did?

- You should've asked for a muffin.

Bring up the votes. - FREDDIE: Okay.

Oh, looks like we already got around 12,000 votes

and legs are ahead of pudding by about 20 percent.

- Ha. - Idiots.

- Oh, hey, we got a v-mail. - Who from?

- I don't know. Someone in England.

- Cool. - Play it.

- THEODORE: Greetings, iCarly.

My name is Theodore Wilkins.

I'm the vice-chairman of the iWeb Awards,

an international competition which seeks out

the best web shows on the Internet.

And I'm very pleased to announce that our committee

has nominated iCarly in the category of best comedy.

- Whoa.

- We're nominated for best comedy web show.

- I know, I speak British.

- The iWeb Awards would like to fly the iCarly team overseas

so that your show can compete at this year's live competition.

All expenses paid, of course.

- This is insane.

- They're gonna fly us overseas.

- I just hope it's not France.

- How come? - Why?

- 'cause it's full of French people.

- Oh, yeah. - True.

- THEODORE: If you accept your nomination,

please click on the accept button

in the lower left corner of this v-mail.

- Click on it. - Quick, boy.

- I'm clicking.

- Your invitations, passes and travel itinerary

will be sent off to you tomorrow.

Congratulations, iCarly.

We'll see you at the iWeb Awards.

- FREDDIE: All right.

- Okay, this is the biggest thing

that's ever happened to us.

- By far. - SAM: Ever.

- FREDDIE: Oh, check it out.

Way more people are voting for legs than pudding.

- Told you.

- All I know is you can't do this with legs.

- Uh, you have a little pudding on your--

- I see it.

- ♪

- You sure you don't mind

if I hang out at your place till dinner?

- Yeah, it's fine.

But don't you think you should go home

and be with your mom? - What for?

- 'cause she's in bed with pneumonia?

- I'm not a doctor.

- Excuse me, Lewbert.

- What? I'm busy trimming my wart hairs.

- CARLY: Yeah.

Um, I was just wondering if I got a package yet

from the iWeb Awards?

- No, now quit upsetting my wart.

- Are you sure?

'cause this guy in England said

he was gonna send it like a week ago.

-

- to you too.

-

- ♪

- Hey, hey, hey.

You think Freddie is home from school yet?

- Yeah, he got a ride. Why?

- Bet you he's looking through his peephole

waiting for you to get home.

- No, he grew out of that.

- Uh-huh.

- FREDDIE:

- What's up?

- I was not looking out my peephole

waiting for you to come home.

- I know you weren't. - Good.

- Peeper. - What?

- Okay, why is it dark in here?

- SPENCER: Because-- - Oh.

- --I made this.

- Why?

- It's for jogging at night.

This baby puts out over 19,000 lumens.

It can light up a football field.

- For how long? - Till this battery runs out.

I got it out of a Prius.

-

- CARLY: Oh, hi, Mrs. Benson.

- Mom, what are you still doing here?

I thought you left for your pottery class.

- I tried to but my Prius wouldn't start.

Anyway, I forgot.

This package addressed to iCarly came yesterday.

- Yesterday?

- I'm sorry. I meant to tell Freddie but--

- Oh, just give it.

- Is that from the iWeb Awards?

- Yup. - Yeah.

- Come on, what country are we going to?

- Uh--Canada.

- Canada?

- Just kidding.

Tokyo, we're going to Japan.

-

- FREDDIE: Yeah, all right.

- Uh, Freddie, you can let go now.

- Oh, right. - Sweet.

You know I took a year of Japanese in college?

A little brush-up I'll be speaking Japanese

like a--japanesiologist.

- Freddie, I'm not sure I can allow this.

- Here we go. - Mom.

- It's just Japan. - Right.

Which is why I worry that--

You know, the far east can be very--

Oh, look, just because I can't think of anything right now

doesn't mean Japan isn't fraught with danger.

- Oh, come on, lady.

- It's okay.

I'm going with them

so it's not like they won't have a responsible adult

making sure everything goes smooth.

- Fire.

-

- My head, put it out, put it out.

Put it out. - Towel.

- Please, please, please.

Put it out, put it out.

So, I'll make sure everything goes smooth in Japan.

- Freddie, you're not going to Japan.

You're coming home with me to take a bath.

- But-- - CARLY: Wait.

Why don't you come to Japan with us?

- Uhhhhh. - What?

- I don't wanna take a trip across the world

with that mess of a woman.

- Come on, Mrs. Benson, it'll be fun.

What's that?

I think I hear Tok-yo calling toki-you.

- Come with us to Japan. You love sushi.

- Oh, I suppose it would be nice

to try a California roll from where it all started.

- Wait, hang on. A little problem.

- What? - Three plane tickets.

- Good.

I mean, "oh, no."

- Here, let me see.

Okay, great. These are first-class tickets.

I can just trade these for five coach seats

and we're all set.

- Oh, all right.

So, if we're all going to Japan,

there's lots of preparation to be done.

We'll need passports, fresh underwear,

a voltage converter for your night light.

- I don't need a night light anymore.

So you're sure the night light will work in Japan?

- We'll make sure. - Okay.

- Man, she's a piece of work.

-

- Oh. - Put it out.

Get it, get it.

Why does this keep happening?

- ♪

- I know, oompe.

If I had a haircut like yours,

I would be embarrassed too.

- So this is Henri P'twa and his poodle puppet Oompe.

- HENRI: Okay, fine. Eat your puppy food.

- That's the comedy show we're competing against?

- One of them.

- That poodle puppet eats like a pig.

- My goodness, Oompe.

I think you eat like a little piggy.

Bad dog.

No, bad--bad dog.

- Uh-oh.

- Maybe Oompe should be neutered.

-

This is my show.

- ♪

- MACHINE: Hello. Konichiwa.

- Konichiwa.

- MACHINE: Excellent.

- Oh, thank you.

- MACHINE: How are you today?

Ogenki desu ka?

- Ogenki--wait, what?

- MACHINE: I'm sorry.

- Ah.

- MACHINE: The pain helps you learn.

- But I didn't say it wrong.

I was asking you to repeat it?

- Who are you yelling at?

- Him, the Japanese learning wizard.

He teaches me Japanese phrases

and if I don't say 'em right,

he shocks me with this collar.

I hate it.

- So take the collar off.

- I can't.

It's magnetically locked until you get past level one.

- MACHINE: How are you today?

Ogenki desu ka?

- Ogen--what? - No, no, no.

Ah.

Oh.

- MACHINE: The pain helps you learn.

- The pain is melting my throat--

- So what's with her?

- Oh, she teaches me how to speak Swedish.

I bought her when I bought him.

- Why, 'cause she's hot?

- Well, not just 'cause--yes.

- ♪

- Okay, so what's this other show

we're competing against?

- Uh, it's a Japanese web show called "Kyoko and Yuki."

- They're Japanese?

- Great, then they'll have a home court advantage.

- Just put their web show on.

No one's paying you to look pretty.

- No one's paying me at all.

- Just click the thingy.

- Okay, "Kyoko and Yuki."

- Just teach me how to play this guitar.

- You're the worst student I've ever taught.

Why do you play the guitar so badly?

- I don't know.

- Well, just try.

- Okay.

- Play better.

- I'm trying.

- Okay, they're kind of funny.

- Definitely.

- Well, yeah, but you guys are funnier.

- Thanks.

We just have to come up with something totally hilarious

to do at the competition.

- Okay.

How about you and I play two kids at a birthday party

trying to break open a pinata?

- And let me guess, Freddie plays the pinata?

- Yes.

- Why does every idea you have involve hitting me with a stick?

- Come on, let's watch them a little more

as we know exactly what we're up against.

- Well, I'm not worried.

Kyoko and Yuki aren't that funny?

-

- Oh no, a bee!

-

-

- I've seen funnier.

- We'll beat those guys easy.

- All right, they're hilarious.

- ♪

-

- Okay, okay.

Turn it off.

All right, let's face it.

Kyoko and Yuki are really funny.

- But-- - They're really funny.

- So is iCarly.

We're gonna win that iWeb Award.

- Right.

And even if we don't win, I mean,

it's still an honor just to be nominated, right?

- Yeah, and win or lose,

we still get a free trip to Japan.

- SAM: Whoa, whoa.

I don't wanna hear this or-lose talk, all right.

- But I just meant--

- Saying "or lose" is like giving up.

Carly, when Ms. Briggs told us

we couldn't pick the kids to be in the talent show,

did you give up? - No.

- And what about the time those cops were chasing me

and yelling at me to stop running,

did I give up? - No, you kept running.

- And, Freddie, have you ever given up your hope

that one day Carly might love you?

- No. - Well, you should.

Anyway, we are gonna beat Kyoko and Yuki

and win that iWeb Award. - You're right.

We just gotta come up with the funniest "iCarly" bit

we've ever done.

- Yeah. - Absolutely.

- Good, let's get to work. - Right.

- Uh, you guys start. I'm gonna go take a nap.

- ♪

- MACHINE: Hello, how are you?

Hej hur maj du.

- You are one fine mamma jamma.

- MACHINE: I'm sorry.

-

- Yes.

Hey, Socko,

you talk to your buddy, the pilot?

No way, yeah?

He can fly all of us to Japan?

Oh, Socko, who's better than you?

Okay, Ryan Seacrest is awesome but so are you.

Yeah, text me later.

So, you wanna come to Japan with me.

- MACHINE: I'm sorry.

- ♪

- FREDDIE: And now,

"The adventures of Melanie Higgles."

- I'm Melanie Higgles.

- FREDDIE: "Space cheerleader".

- ♪ Oh, yeah, un-huh ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, un-huh ♪

♪ Weeee ♪

-

- Melanie Higgles.

- ♪ Oh, yeah, un-huh ♪

♪ What's up?, what's up?, what's up? ♪

- Come to the dark side of space cheerleading.

- No way. Get outer my space.

Oh, yeah.

- Come to the dark side. - No!

- Rarr. - Growl.

Get out.

- Join me. - No way.

- You know you want to. - You're super annoying.

- Come to the dark side.

- Give me an ow! - Ow.

- Give me an ow! - Ow.

- Give me an ow! - Ow.

- FREDDIE: And we're clear.

- So, what'd you think?

- Hilarious. It's awesome. - See?

- We've got our bit for the iWeb Awards.

- Yeah, we do.

So what's next?

- Well, if you guys are interested,

I went online and found

all kinds of interesting facts about Japan.

- Well, tell us.

- Like when was Japan formed?

- What's their economy like?

- How does their culture differ from ours?

- What are their major exports?

- SAM: Are they a democracy?

- How strong is their navy?

- What are the popular foods?

- Does Japan have universal healthcare?

- They don't wanna know.

- ♪

- Uh, Sam, maybe you wanna come help us?

- No, thanks.

I wanna get my heel really smooth.

- CARLY: Yeah, well,

thanks for getting your nasty foot dust

all over our couch.

- My mom is a nutcase.

- Uh, you're just now figuring that out?

- Just a few more, Freddie. - No.

- You need to be vaccinated.

- But you've already given me 11 shots.

- Yes, you're halfway done.

Come here.

- No.

- Freddie, come on now.

- I have a spatula.

- Hey, we gotta be at the airport in 45 minutes.

- I better finish packing.

- What are those? Snacks?

- Uh-huh.

- Fat cakes?

- These are low-fat fat cakes.

- For who? The health conscious fat cake eater?

- Just help me pack. - Okay.

- Just one last shot, Freddie.

Come across the hall and I'll give it to you at home.

- No, let's just do it here and get it over with.

- Um, this one doesn't go in your arm.

- Well, then, where does it--?

Oh, man.

- We'll meet you down in the lobby in five minutes.

- Hurry.

- FREDDIE: No, no, mom, I don't want a shot.

I'm gonna pass out.

- Okay, are we ready? - SPENCER: Oh, let's see.

Packed suitcases, done.

Turn off heat, done.

Keys in pocket, done.

Crumple list and toss casually in the trash can, yep.

Close enough.

- Do you have the plane tickets?

- We don't need tickets.

Socko says we're gonna be the only people on the plane.

- You got us a private jet? - No.

- Better? - No.

- ♪

- FREIGHT: Come on. This way. Keep it coming.

Oh, watch where you step.

- So, your name is Freight dog?

- Yeah.

And this is my pepperoni.

- Well, thanks for letting me smell it.

- This is your airplane? - Yeah.

- Wow, this is almost as nice as a gas station men's room.

- Thanks.

- Oh, what are all the possums for?

- That's my cargo on this trip.

Anything anybody wants transported overseas, I fly it.

- Are the possums safe?

- No, ma'am. They're full of disease.

- Oh. - Okay, let's fly.

- Wait, um, where's the restroom on this plane?

- Oh, here you go.

If you guys fill that one up, I got more buckets in the back.

- Excuse me,

I am not going to do my business in this bucket.

I'm a lady.

- Oh, right.

Sorry. Here.

- ♪

- That poor bucket.

- Yeah, you have no idea.

- Oh.

- This is insane.

- I know.

I can't believe I'm flying to Japan

on a cargo plane surrounded by poss-eye.

- Poss-eye?

- What is poss-eye?

- It's the plural of possum.

- No, it's not.

- One possum, many poss-eye.

- That's so stupid.

- It is not.

- I'm having anxiety.

- Okay.

- Are you cold? - A little bit.

- Maybe we should snuggle close together,

you know, to keep warm and--

- No. - All right.

- Hey, look at me with a possum.

- CARLY: Sam, don't eat him.

- I'm not gonna--

I'm not gonna eat him.

- Sam, be careful with that thing.

You don't know where it's been.

- Like we know where Sam's been.

- How is everybody doing?

- Shouldn't you be flying the plane?

- What do you think this rope's for?

See?

- We get it. - SPENCER: Let it go.

- Hey, why are you taking all these possums to Japan anyway?

- Oh, they're not going to Japan.

They're going to Korea.

Possi are the most popular pets there now.

- But wait, Socko said you are taking us to Japan.

- No, I'm taking you over Japan.

- Over? - What?

- Here, hold my pepperoni.

- Oh, may I? - Yeah.

Welcome to Japan.

We should be over Tokyo in about five minutes.

That's when you jump.

I recommend using a parachute.

Who wants one?

Goggles, get your goggles here.

You can't go up without your goggles.

Here we go, ma'am.

Take one for yourself.

Here you go, son.

- Okay, thank you.

- We're parachuting into Japan?

Can someone hand me the pink bucket?

- ♪

- ♪

- FREIGHT: If you guys wanna land in Tokyo,

you better jump in the next two minutes.

- I am not putting on this parachute.

I would rather go to Korea with the diseased possi.

- How could your friend Socko not have mentioned

that we'd have to jump out of the plane into Japan?

- He might have mentioned it.

He said Freight Dog could drop us in Japan.

I didn't realize he actually meant "drop us".

- We've got to get to the iWeb Awards

so let's just jump.

- Guys, there's no way my mom is jumping out of this airplane.

- I know how to make her jump. - No chance.

She's been afraid of heights ever since--

OMG!

- I'm coming, Freddie.

Pechangaaahhh!!!

- Okay. Who's next?

- Ladies first.

- All right.

- Oh.

Hold my hand.

- Ready?

- Shouldn't we count to three first?

- No. Just scream.

- When? - Now.

-

- Good job.

- Brother, you've got to jump now.

- All right.

Sorry, my friend here is just a little nervous.

- MACHINE: Hello. Konichiwa.

- No, I didn't mean to turn you on.

- MACHINE: I'm sorry.

-

- Good job.

- ♪

- CARLY:

Whoa.

- SAM:

That was insane. - I know.

- We're in Japan. - CARLY: I know.

- Where's the sushi bar?

- I can't get out of this psychotic parachute.

Stupid thing.

I can't believe we were forced to jump into Japan.

When I see Spencer,

I am going to tell him in no uncertain terms that--

- SPENCER: Here I come.

- Mom.

Come on.

Are you all right?

- What happened?

- Are you all right? - Are you okay?

- Yeah.

Whoa.

Whoa. That was intense.

- Hey, you're collar broke.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, at least now I don't have to worry about--

- I think Freight Dog

threw our luggage out of the plane.

- What makes you think that--?

- The fat cakes are okay.

- Hey, did anybody see my red backpack come down?

- Okay. I think that's everything.

- MRS. BENSON: My head. What happened?

- ♪

- Finally.

- The front desk is right over there.

- SPENCER: Thank you so much. - CARLY: Thank you, officer.

- I don't know what we would have done

if you hadn't found us.

- Oh, you would have slowly starved in the wilderness

until you all perished and were eaten by wild animals.

- Right. - Well, thanks so much.

-

- He was nice. - He was weird.

- I took his handcuffs.

- I'll go check us in.

- Haven't you done enough?

- I'll do it.

- I'll go with you.

- Hi.

- Hello.

Welcome to Hotel Nakamura.

May I help you?

- Yeah. We're checking in.

- Oh, honeymoon couple.

- No. My name is Carly Shay.

We have reservations through the iWeb Awards.

- WOMAN: Yes, let me check and see what room you are in.

- This is a catastrophe. You must speak with me now.

- Excuse me, but we were here first.

- Fermer la bouche.

I was supposed to have a separate room for my poopit.

- Your poopit? - What's a poopit?

- Poopit. - Puppet?

-

- Okay.

- Look, I had a really tough day which included

jumping out of a cargo plane full of possums

and wandering in the Japanese wilderness

for seven hours, so I--

- I cannot share a room wiz zees puppet.

- Sir. - I got this.

- Oompe.

- Can I please check in? - WOMAN: Yes.

The iWeb Awards have provided you

with a double suite.

I hope you find the rooms to your liking.

- Thanks. - Thank you.

- Cool.

- Okay, we're all set.

- Awesome. - Finally.

- Enjoy your honeymoon.

- Stop saying that.

- ♪

- Ooh, nice. - Cool room.

- Check it out. - This is so exciting.

My first pee in a foreign country.

- CARLY: Have fun.

- I've got to crash. - Me, too.

- So how are we going to split up?

Maybe the boys in this room and us, girls, in the other one?

- No.

- Wouldn't you rather share a room

with your sweet son, Freddie?

- Freddie needs you.

- Guys.

- No, Freddie, they're right.

- Thanks a lot.

- Hey, where'd Spencer go?

- SPENCER: In here.

Look, they leave you

with these cute, little candies in the bathroom.

I'm loving this hotel.

You know they have 24-hour room--

It's soap.

- ♪

-

- Carly,

someone's knocking at the door.

-

- Someone's knocking.

- I'll get it.

-

- Wake up. - Aaah!

- Who is it? - KYOKO: Kyoko and Yuki.

- Kyoko and Yuki?

- Our competition?

- Who are Kyoko and Yuki?

- The kids who star in one of the web shows

we're competing against.

- What are they doing here?

- Hi. - Hello. I'm Yuki.

- Kyoko. Welcome to Japan. - Yes.

- Thanks. Come on in.

- SAM: Hi. - FREDDIE: Hey.

- I'm Carly. And that's Sam and Freddie.

- KYOKO: Oh, of course. - YUKI: We know.

- We love your web show. - Hey, we love yours.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- It's awesome.

Oh, and this is my brother, Spencer.

- Konichiwa ohgenkee deskah.

-

- I ate soap.

- We just woke up.

- At 3:00 in the afternoon?

- We slept through breakfast and lunch?

- Fat cake.

- What are you guys doing here?

- Well, we found out that you were staying at this hotel--

- And we wanted to welcome you to Tokyo.

- Please accept this expensive gift basket.

- Thanks.

- So, your trip here was good?

- Yeah. The plane ride was pretty insane.

- Until we had to jump out.

- You jumped out of your airplane?

- Some jumped.

Some were pushed.

- We know it sounds weird 'cause well, it was weird.

But we're fine. - We are.

Some of our luggage fell to its death.

- Drowned in a lake.

- I thought the soap was candy.

- Well, if some of your luggage drowned, as you say--

- Would you like us to take you shopping?

- Shopping? - Do we have time?

- Oh, yes.

The iWeb Awards do not start for five hours.

- Plenty of time.

- Freddie, Freddie,

look at this wonderful robes the hotel gives you.

Oh, hello.

Could we get a few extra towels and some unscented toilet paper?

- They don't work here, crazy.

- They have a web show that got nominated for an iWeb Award.

- It's a pleasure to meet you.

- They wanna take us shopping.

- Ooh, I'd like to go shopping.

- Oh, well, we would love for you to join us.

- But for the grownups, Yuki and I have arranged

traditional Japanese seaweed massages.

- Massages? - I could use a good rubbing.

- Here, our cousins work at the spa just down the street.

You will have a wonderful massage there.

- Awesome.

- So, shall we go shopping? - Sure.

Just give us a little time to shower and get dressed.

- Of course.

- Freddie, make sure you put on

a fresh pair of antibacterial underpants.

- Mom.

- ♪

- So, are you nervous about the competition tonight?

- Sure. A little bit.

- What? Don't you feel all confident

wearing your antibacterial underpants?

- At least my underwear doesn't have

"I heart Las Vegas" written across the butt.

- You looked in my suitcase.

- I did not look in your suitcase.

That is so-- - CARLY: Okay.

There's nothing wrong with wearing underwear

that fights bacteria. - Yeah.

- Or that was purchased in a casino.

- Yeah.

- You guys are hilarious.

- Just like on iCarly.

- Well, your guys' show is really funny, too.

- Thanks. - Thank you.

- Who brought his little junior camcorder?

- It happens to shoot in high def.

- He told you.

- Yuki, weren't we supposed to turn left back there?

- I know where I'm going.

- But I think we passed the turn.

- I'm driving, okay?

- Don't be obnoxious.

-

- ♪

- And this is real seaweed?

- Hai.

- Wow.

I feel like a gigantic spicy tuna roll.

So, you're both cousins of Kyoko and Yuki?

- Yes.

- Oh, my Freddie's very excited

to be competing against them in the iWeb Awards.

- So is my sister. Have you ever seen iCarly?

- No.

- Well.

- There, you're wrapped.

- Cool.

- So now, what?

- Oh, we go to see a movie.

- A movie?

- And then maybe go for some Italian food.

- Perhaps some eggplant parmesan.

- Wait, we don't understand.

- You will soon.

- When are you gonna unwrap us?

- When the iWeb Awards are over.

- After Kyoko and Yuki have won.

- What?

- You guys are kidding, right?

Are you kidding?

- I don't think they're kidding.

- We've been set up. - SPENCER: Yeah.

I don't think those Kyoko and Yuki kids

are as nice as they seemed.

- The children-- we have to warn them.

- Relax. This is just seaweed.

How strong can it be?

- Fight. Fight, Spencer.

Spencer?

- Seaweed can be very strong.

- ♪

-

- Why don't you just admit that you are lost?

- Hey, guys?

- I am not lost.

Why must you disrespect everything I stand for?

- Huh?

-

- Kyoko. - Yuki.

- You guys!

Look, we don't even have time to shop anymore.

- The iWeb Awards start in two hours.

- So let's just head back to our hotel

so we don't miss it, okay?

- SAM: Yeah. We don't want that French moron

with the poopit to win by default.

-

- They are right. - Yes.

We should get you back to your hotel

so we can all make it to the iWeb Awards on time.

- Good. - Thank you.

- ♪

- We are heading back to the hotel, right?

- 'cause it looks like we're in the middle of nowhere.

- Okay. We're lost.

- I knew it.

I am sorry, we spoiled your welcome to our country.

- Oh, come on. You didn't spoil our welcome.

-

- Why did we stop?

- We're out of gas.

- And now, the welcome is spoiled.

- You didn't get gas?

- Yes, I got gas,

then we drove very far in the wrong direction,

and now gas is gone.

- And the iWeb Awards start in an hour and a half.

- Well, ain't this sweet.

The five of us are gonna miss the awards,

so frenchie and his poopit are gonna win

best comedy show on the web.

- Can't you guys just call your parents

or someone to come pick us up?

- We don't have cell phones with us.

- Okay, then I'll just call Spencer.

- Oh, your American cell phones don't work in Japan.

- You have ruined everything.

I told you when to turn, but you refused.

- What about the time you left my bicycle out on the rain?

- That was nine years ago.

- I'm still upset.

-

- This is bad.

- What are we gonna do?

- I'm so hungry.

- ♪

- This is impossible.

- I can't believe we're trapped by seaweed.

- Seaweed. - Yes.

- Seaweed is edible. - So?

- If I can't break my way out, maybe I can eat my way out.

It's working.

Try it.

- I can't.

We Bensons have short necks.

- Well, don't worry.

I'm gonna have us out of here fast.

- ♪

-

- This is serious. Why are you laughing?

- Something about Japanese arguing cracks me up.

- They're leaving the van. Why are they leaving the van?

- They're fighting.

- Spencer? - SPENCER: What's up?

- What are you doing? - SPENCER: I'm eating.

- Eat faster.

- SPENCER: I'm eating as fast as I can.

I'm out. I'm free.

- You're naked.

- What happened to our clothes?

Oh, those rotten masseuses took them.

Ooh, towels.

Don't look. - Don't worry.

- Okay. I'm good.

- All right. Now, chew me out of here.

- I can't. I'm full.

- Use that sword on the wall to cut me out.

Spencer? - What?

- Your towel fell off.

- Hey, hey, hey, give me your camcorder.

- Why are you recording this?

- To put on iCarly.com.

Kids love violence.

- Uh-oh. Yuki's got her now.

- You almost kicked me in the head.

- We have to make this look like a real fight.

- No problem.

- Come on, Yuki.

Get up and show her what your foot tastes like.

- Freddie, you're a boy.

Get in there and break it up. Come on.

- I don't wanna, I'm not going--

I don't wanna-- - You gotta break it up.

- Okay, fine. I will.

Guys. Guys, seriously, just break it up. This isn't--

- Okay. That is definitely going on iCarly.com.

- Okay. My towel is on.

- Nice. Let's go.

What's the matter?

- Those massage jerks locked us in here.

- What? No way.

It's bolted from the outside.

- We've gotta get out of here.

- There's an air vent.

- So?

- SPENCER: I'm gonna climb in there,

crawl through the duct to another room

and get us out of here.

- Okay.

Be careful.

- SPENCER: Wow, it's so dark in here.

- You see anything?

- SPENCER: No. It's so dark in here.

Wait, I see a light.

- Oh, good.

It probably leads to another room.

- SPENCER: Yeah, I'm heading toward it right now.

- What's wrong?

- SPENCER: Just throw up a little seaweed.

- Well, are you getting any closer to the vent?

- SPENCER: Yup.

Just a few more feet, getting closer to the light.

There, I can touch it.

- Good. Can you get out?

- SPENCER: I think so.

Yeah.

Hey.

- Spencer?

- I didn't know.

- Be careful.

- I got it.

- Help.

Can anybody hear us?

- Shut up.

- Let's go. - Come on.

- My eye look okay? - Yes.

- For real? - No.

It's all black and--

Eww, it's throbbing.

Eww, eww, eww.

- All right. This fight is getting old.

That's how we do it in Seattle.

- Pardon us.

- We had a little incident. No need to stare.

Arigato.

Oh, my God.

The pain did not help me learn.

Hah, I'm wearing a second towel.

Arigato.

- ♪

- Thank you.

Thank you.

- I can't believe Kyoko and Yuki tricked us like that.

It's Freddie's backpack

and it smells just like his face.

- You know, that seaweed must be awesome for your skin.

Look at me, I'm glowing.

- The children have been kidnapped

by evil Japanese web comedians.

What are we gonna do?

- Seriously, I'm glowing, right?

- ♪

- I'm really sorry

Sam had to get physical of you guys.

- I'm sorry, your foot had to get physical with my eye.

- I'm sorry,

I haven't eaten anything in four hours.

- Sam? - Well, listen to my stomach.

- I don't want to listen to--

Oh, my God, it sounds like Chewbacca.

- Doesn't it?

- It is we who owe you an apology.

- For ruining your trip to Japan.

- And any chance for either of our web shows

to win at the iWeb Awards.

- To apologize,

please allow us to present you with a special gift.

- Why a gift?

- It's a Japanese tradition to give someone a gift

after you caused them trouble.

- That's so nice. Where is it?

- It is in our van.

- Yes. We will both go get your gift--

- While the three of you stand there.

- You guys don't have to give us anything.

- Don't disrespect their traditions.

Is it expensive?

- It is very special.

- Just stay right there.

- And we'll be right back.

- Hey, I thought the van ran out of gas.

- I don't think we're getting a gift.

- Maybe they're driving somewhere to get it.

- No.

They did all this on purpose so they can ditch us

and then go win the iWeb Award.

- So they're definitely not giving us a present?

- No.

- ♪

- SAM: I feel like we've been walking for nine years.

- I can't believe I got a black eye.

Ah, it's still throbbing.

- Yeah, yeah, so is my head from all your yappin'.

- How long till the iWeb Awards start?

- Less than half an hour.

- There's no way we're gonna make it.

Not possible. Zero chance.

- Hey, that's the spirit.

- I'm just being realistic.

- Look, I'm sure Spencer and Freddie's mom

are doing everything they can to find us.

And anyway, aren't you the one who gave us

the only-losers-give-up speech?

- I don't know. I don't listen to the things I say.

- Well, you did. And you were right.

So let's not give up now.

- Well, what are we supposed to do?

- I don't know,

but it's not helping for you guys keep talking

about how hungry and miserable you are.

We all know that your eye is black and throbbing

and we all know you're starving.

So let's forget that stuff and try to think positively,

all right?

Maybe Spencer and Freddie's mom will find us in time,

and maybe they'll bring eye ointment and cheeseburgers.

I just think if we try and keep a positive attitude,

then maybe we'll-- -

- I'm depressed.

- ♪

- Excuse me, we have an emergency.

- Excuse moi, I am in the middle--

- I don't have time to talk to you.

- You don't have time to talk to me?

-

- Why am I arguing with a poodle with a mustache?

Here. He's yours if you run away.

- Oompe.

Oompe, come back. Oompe?

- Listen, my little sister and her two friends

were kidnapped by evil Japanese web comedians

and we don't know where they are.

So if you can call the police--

- Oh, my god. - What?

- The chip. In all this confusion,

I completely forgot about the chip.

- Chip? - What chip?

- As soon as Freddie was old enough to toddle,

I had a locator chip put in his head

by a questionable doctor in Venezuela.

- You chipped Freddie?

- Oh, I chipped him because I love him.

- You mean a locator chip, like a GPS kind of thing?

- Yes, but you can never tell him.

- I won't. Just how do we find him?

- With this.

- GPS: Welcome to global net.

Please stand by while we locate Benson, Fredward.

- That is insane. - Shhh.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

- Come on. - Come on.

- Come on. - Come on, come on, come on.

- Oh, it's blinking. - Blinking.

- You guys hear that?

- No. - Hear what?

- GPS: Benson, Fredward located,

12.7 miles northeast.

- Got him. - Uh-huh.

- Don't worry, Freddie, mama's coming.

- Spencer's also coming.

- ♪

- All right. What is going on?

- What do you mean? - What's the problem?

- I don't know.

It's like I can just barely hear this thing beeping,

like in the back of my head.

It's so weird.

- You're so weird.

- We're all weird, let's keep walking.

- ♪

- MRS. BENSON: Come on, come on, come on

- GPS: Benson, Fredward is 2.3 miles due east.

- All right. We're getting closer.

- I'm so glad I had that GPS chip

installed in Freddie's head.

- Driver, I'm very uncomfortable back here.

Is there any way we can open the sunroof?

- Yeah. Sometimes, it opens if you push very hard.

- Oh, okay.

Watch your heads. Okay.

Come on, ya little sunroof.

I need to unbend my spine.

There you go. Oh. Okay.

Oh.

Oh.

Hey, cool.

We're in a tunnel.

Echo.

-

- Oh, no. No.

- What?

- I lost Freddie's signal.

- Probably because we're in a tunnel.

- GPS: Unable to locate Benson, Fredward.

- Here.

See if you can get a signal out there.

- Oh. - Sorry.

- GPS: Connecting to satellite,

locating Benson, Fredward.

- SPENCER: I got the signal.

No worries.

- ♪

- I still don't see why we have to carry Sam.

- Yeah. Why are we carrying you?

- We're taking turns.

If we ever get lost in Japan again,

I'm gonna carry you guys.

- CARLY: Yeah.

- ♪

- Mr. Wilkins? - Yes, Rolph.

- The iWeb chairman and his family in the VIP room,

all taken care off.

- Excellent.

And were you able to get me a hotdog?

- Oh, yes, sir.

- Wonderful.

Have all the nominees checked in?

- Almost.

One of the teams in the comedy category

hasn't shown up yet, iCarly.

- Strange. Bite?

- No. Thank you.

- ♪

- I can't believe you dropped my GPS unit.

- The cab hit a bump and it blew out of my hands.

- Well, you should have gripped it more firmly.

- I'm just a person.

- Well, now, how are we gonna find the children?

- I don't know.

Maybe we should pull over and ask those muddy hobos

if they've seen them.

- Driver, pull over next to those muddy hobos?

- What's a hobos?

- Wait.

Those aren't hobos.

Those are the children.

- Hey. You guys. Carly.

- Spencer!

- CARLY: Are you okay?

- I'm okay. We're okay.

I was so worried about you.

- Oh, Freddie. - Mom.

-

- Freddie, you are all muddy.

-

- Freddie. - Mom, mom, please stop.

No, no. It's okay. Mom.

- Hey. Hey.

Heeeeeyyyy!

Did anyone bring food?

- Mom, mom, I don't think baby wipes are gonna do it.

- Oh, all right.

I'll sterilize you later.

- How did you find us?

- Oh, Mrs. Benson had a chip. - Ah?

- Chippewa.

She had a Chippewa Indian show us the way.

- Is that a black eye? - Yeah.

But I'm fine, it's okay.

- MRS. BENSON: Oh, Fredward.

- Oh, mom. Man-handling me.

Stop. I can't breathe.

- The iWeb Awards. - Huh?

- Freddie, Freddie, how long till the iWeb Awards start?

- Uh, about five minutes.

- Oh, man.

- But the comedy shows go last.

- Well, come on. Let's try and make it.

-

- We got to go. We got to go.

-

- Okay. Everyone in?

- Not really.

- Seatbelts on.

- Oh. Wait. Wait. Wait.

No, no. Stop, stop.

- CARLY: Spencer?

Spencer? Why are you on the ground?

- Well, I'm just being lazy.

- Well, come on--

- I'm going. I'm trying.

- Okay. Get the thing.

- I'm getting the thing. I'm getting thing.

Go, go, go. We're gonna be late.

- ♪

- MAN: Five seconds till the show.

- WOMAN: Ready camera one. - WOMAN #2: First shot up.

- And we're live. - Go one.

- HOST: Welcome to the international iWeb Awards

coming to you live from Tokyo, Japan.

The international web commission--

- Here we go.

- HOST: Now, please welcome your host, Victor Price.

- Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Settle down. Settle down now.

Settle.

You know, there are so many reasons

why I'm standing here on this stage,

coming to you live from Tokyo, Japan,

hosting the iWeb Awards.

The main reason--

Well, the Oscars, they didn't want me, so.

No, no. I'm kidding.

This is actually a huge honor for me.

- CARLY: Hi. Wait.

We're iCarly. - From America.

- As in the United States of.

We're supposed to be competing in the iWeb Awards competition.

- It's not our fault we're late.

- You can blame Kyoko and Yuki.

- They kidnapped us.

- Then ditched us in the middle of nowhere.

- With no snacks. - Or a proper restroom.

I wasn't speaking Spanish.

- Come on, let's just go--

-

- CARLY: We are performers. - We're nominees.

- One of the teams we're competing against

tried to cheat by getting rid of us.

- What? - It's nobody's birthday.

You're so random.

- WOMAN: Ready, one. Go one.

- We have a little something special for you.

Are you ready?

-

- VICTOR: Okay. Okay.

All the way from America.

Here they are, Good Charlotte.

- ♪

- Don't you have tickets or passes or something?

- Yeah. They were on our suitcase

that Freight Dog dropped into the lake.

- Here. Let me talk to the guy.

Oh. Okay, maybe I didn't say that quite right.

-

- Did you understand any of that?

- Ah, I'm not sure,

but I think he called us dirty street monsters.

- ♪ If I said these simple words ♪

♪ I'll wait, I'll wait ♪

♪ As long as you want ♪

♪ Where would we be now, baby ♪

♪

♪ Where would we be now, baby ♪

♪ If we found each other first ♪

♪ What would you do now? ♪

- Look, we're missing the show. We need to go inside.

- Okay. When I say "now", everybody scream and run inside.

He can't stop all of us.

- I don't think that's a good-- - Now.

- -

-

-

- All right!

Just forget it.

That is fake hair!

-

-

-

What did I say?

- HOST: Next up are the nominees for the best cooking show.

- I can't believe they won't let us in.

- We came this close and now we finally got here

and we're still gonna lose by default.

- So now, what? - I don't know.

- Why don't we all go back to the hotel and pack up?

- No. Do you not get that iCarly

is really important to me and to them?

This was a big deal for us.

- Whatever. Let's just get out of here.

- No.

I'm going back over to those security guards.

- But they don't speak English.

- I'm going to distract them.

When I do, you all run inside that door.

-

- Now, come on. Let's go.

Go, go, go, go, go.

- MRS: BENSON: Pechangaaahhh!

- Hey, that's enough shaking.

The onions are ready for action.

- Has the American comedy show team arrived yet,

iCarly?

- No, sir.

They haven't checked in.

- Shame.

Well, go on and mark them as a forfeit.

Let them know in the booth.

- Yes, sir. Control booth.

We have a change in the lineup.

- See anyone?

- All clear. - Let's go.

- Come on.

- Hi.

I see you found your hair.

- Oompe, you cannot be in love with a pussycat.

You come from different worlds.

- Ow.

- Okay.

- FREDDIE: Mom. - Freddie.

- Pushy.

-

-None of us speak Japanese.

-

- Oh, good. He's got a Japanese-English dictionary.

- Okay. He's looking up something.

- SPENCER: This is progress.

- He's gonna say something.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Thank you.

We thank you. Viva la France.

- Okay.

We're gonna have to skip the web show from America, iCarly,

because they were not able to make it here tonight.

So, up next for best comedy,

please welcome a hometown favorite

from right here in Tokyo,

Kyoko and Yuki.

- ♪

- Look. - SAM: Oh, great.

We were supposed to go on before them.

- Those are the Internet delinquents

who tricked these children and us.

- We were seaweeded to massage tables.

- We are supposed to be out there.

- Lasagna.

-

- Kyoko and Yuki cheated.

- That's how I got this black eye.

- These kids are nominees.

- Why does your soap look like candy?

-

-

- I have--

a--

bladder infection.

- Can't you guys go get someone that speaks English?

-

- Forget it, these donut holes can't understand anything.

- We have to communicate with these guys.

- We can't. - We can't with words.

- Huh? - Let's act it out for them.

- Act what out?

- Everything that's happened to us since we got to Japan.

- Do it.

- Okay. You wanna know what happened?

Here's what happened.

We do a comedy show on the web.

- You know, a show on the Internet.

-

- A comedy. Like--

-

- See, comedy?

- You are eating too fast. - You are eating too slow.

-

- And then, all five of us got on a horrible airplane.

- Airplane. - Airplane.

- And the plane was filled with poss-eye.

- Many possums.

- Possum. - Possum.

- Possum. - SAM: Possum.

- Possum. - Possum.

- Possum. - Possum.

- Possum. - Possum.

- CARLY: So Freight Dog said

that we had to jump out of the plane.

- Jump. - Jump.

- Jump. - Jump.

- Jump. - Jump. Jump. Jump.

- SAM: Yes. Yes.

- CARLY: We had to jump out of the plane.

- OFFICER: Jump.

- We lost the graphics.

- No video feeds to the big screen.

- Try to fix it. Camera four.

- MAN: Four up.

- Jump.

-

- What's going on?

- MAN: Who are those girls?

- Kill the big screen. - I can't.

I don't know where the video feed is coming from.

- CARLY: And with his parachute. - OFFICER: A parachute.

- CARLY: His feet hit Freddie's mom

in the head, knocked her down.

- SAM: Kind of like this.

- Wait, those are the girls from iCarly.

- Isn't that the stupid security guard from outside?

- Go find out where they are. - Right.

- And when we were checking into our hotel,

this French guy-- - Who is also a nominee--

- Kept butting in with his stupid puppet.

- CARLY: And he was all-- - Stupid?

- --"this is my poopit."

- "Look at my beautiful poopit."

- "I need a separate room for my poopit."

- Puppet. - Puppet.

- Puppet. - Puppet.

- This isn't fair.

- iCarly forfeited.

- These girls are a crack-up.

-

- Oh, go eat your lengthy corn.

- Hey, I found where the signal's coming from.

Should I shut it down?

- No way. The audience loves them.

- And we thought Kyoko and Yuki were fighting for real.

- So Sam broke up the fight by flipping them.

Sam?

-

- The video feed's coming from the utility room

by the control booth.

- Be back in a flash.

- And while we were with Kyoko and Yuki,

my brother-- - SAM: And this lady.

- --they couldn't help us 'cause they were getting

massages from Kyoko and Yuki's cousin.

- Massage? - Massages.

- Massage? Massage.

- Massages.

- See? Massages.

- OFFICER:

Massages.

- And the next thing we knew, Kyoko and Yuki

jumped in their van and ditched us.

- Which made us very sad.

- There you are.

- CARLY: Yes, finally.

- Hey, it's the iWeb guy from the v-mail.

- And he speaks English. - Sweet English.

- Indeed.

Get him some cranberry juice.

iCarly people, come with me.

-

- And even though that wasn't exactly

how we planned for the show to go tonight,

we are very glad to have the performers--

- Wow. Good crowd.

Wait. So when do we perform?

And why was that funny?

- You've already won.

- Huh? - What do you mean?

- The winners of the iWeb Award for best web comedy show,

iCarly.

- ♪

- Oh, my God.

But how did we win?

- They didn't even see us perform.

- Yeah, they did. - How?

- A little Freddie techno magic.

- Oh, my God.

- Yes. - Go, Freddie.

-

- We didn't do anything. - You can't do this to us.

- iCarly forfeited. - KYOKO: We are in the show.

- YUKI: We are performers. What are you doing?

What are you doing to us? - KYOKO: No, no.

- You stupid poopit.

-

- MRS. BENSON: Oh, I feel seasick.

- CARLY: This is horrible. - FREDDIE: No kidding.

- SPENCER: You guys didn't wanna go back on Freight Dog's plane

and this was the best transportation

Socko could get us.

- CARLY: Well, Socko should stick to making socks.

- SAM: Do we have any food on this boat?

- SPENCER: Oh, wait, I've got a whole bag

of Japanese candy.

- CARLY: Awesome. - SAM: Finally.

- KIDS:

- CARLY: This is soap. - SPENCER: Oh, yeah.

- ♪

- I love iCarly.

This cake is for you.

It says: "iCarly, Carly, Sam, and Freddie"

and then it says: "You--

Oh. "Rock".

- Peace out.

Bye.

- ♪

- ♪