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My childhood seems like a ghost town

filled with blurred images and nightmares.

And when I look back,

I know my memory's hopelessly flawed

and entangled with my imagination.

I find it difficult to distinguish between

what was real and what was something else.

Your mother has got the sweetest breasts.

Hey kid, don't look so down.

You know how lucky you are to have a mom like yours?

Your mother's one first-class, lovely lady.

I hope you appreciate her. I know I sure do.

Every boy should love his mother.

Do you love your mother?

I love my mother. Do you?

Mom was a world all her own...

filled with secret dots and motions nobody else could see.

We were more than a family, Mom and I.

We were a quality of landscape.

We were like an MX missile, always moving,

but always exactly where we were supposed to be.

"Chemotroph is a... the movement or growth of an organism,

especially a plant response to chemical stimuli."

You know, I think we're chemotrophic, too, you and me.

Don't you think we're a little more than that?

I mean, aren't we more than just movement?

Aren't we way beyond growth?

You mean, we are the chemicals. We are the stimuli.

That's right. What are we gonna do with all that energy?

Should we boldly go where no mom's gone before?

When trees aren't trees.

And where roads aren't roads.

And moms aren't even moms, huh?

Hey, Mom, let's do it.

-Do what, babe? -120.

-Come on, we can do it. -Oh, I don't know.

I told you, this car's getting pretty old.

We'd be lucky if we could sell it for an antique.

-Sell it? -Okay, trade it...

for a faster car.

You know, if we reach 120 the speed, we'll reach 120 the age.

- Wanna bet on it? - Well, I'm sorry, sir.

Gambling under the age of ten is illegal in this car.

I got a better idea.

You keep an eye out for, um, "East Brunswick."

It's coming up here somewhere.

You find the off-ramp,

I'll find a place where maybe we can both get lucky.

Interesting?

Yes, very.

What are you gonna be, one of them astrologers?

Yes. Here.

Let me give you yourhorrorscope.

You're gonna go east on 34, south on 9

until you hit the Garden State Parkway.

You think you're pretty smart, don't you?

-Maybe not pretty, but smart. -Oh, yeah?

If you're such a genius, what are you doing here?

You think your mom likes dragging your sorry ass all over the place?

Why don't you do her a favor and scram?

Go bother your father.

I mean, you got a father, don't you?

Duh. Of course I've got a father.

Everyone has a father. It's a law of nature.

-And you know what? -What?

He's right there.

Oop, just now went over there.

Bullshit.

Your dad ain't here.

Is he?

Well, I guess that's for me to know and you to find out.

Geez.

Geez, what the hell is she doing in there?

Norman, you don't wanna know.

Oh.

Oh. Well.

-That was fun. -Forget him. He's history.

And timeless, too.

Cool, a Luminex! Thanks, Mom.

Glows in the dark. Astronauts wear them.

Mmm.

We're off.

Most people didn't understand my mom.

They only judged her.

My mom was way beyond judging,

but that was all people knew how to do.

But me, I cared only about two things...

being with my mom and being in motion.

So what else did you get?

Mm. Oh, just a little something.

Wanna come check it out?

Baby, what do we do with the world and its values?

-Create better worlds inside. -That's right.

It's time you tossed those old textbooks,

'cause today you're getting all the new ones, all the latest editions.

Why? So you don't fall behind in this...

big, blue world.

Okay, let's make a deposit.

Will that be checking, savings, or money market?

Well, sir, you just pick the account with the most interest.

If they ever catch up with your old mom...

And remember, take that file box, rub off all the fingerprints

and you just... toss it as far as you can.

They'll never catch up to us. How could they?

We're atomic. No, better. Subatomic.

-Know what that means? -I don't know. Sounds pretty small to me.

That means we're undetectable.

We pass through anything. We go anywhere.

-They need a... -Radio telescope

and a map of the universe to find us!

Yes!

Hey, hey!

It's checkout time.

On the road with Mom,

I came up with my unified theory of motion.

If starlight could travel through space

and outlive the star it came from,

then maybe if Mom and I moved as fast as starlight, we'd outlive the Earth

and everyone on it.

Then we'd stay together forever,

without anyone else to bother us.

Someday, babe, you know what we'll have?

Give me a letter.

H.

-A helicopter. -A house.

A Bell 47G-5 with big plexiglass bubble cockpit.

The ones like the feds use to spy on people.

A big, beautiful house with plenty of extra rooms

so all your little friends can sleep over.

Hell, we might even need a second house up in the mountains

so no one can bother us.

Or in the jungle, where no one would find us.

I'm serious, babe.

Don't you think someday we'll settle down again?

I mean, if that's something you might want.

You mean stop moving?

-Are you feeling okay? -I'm just tired, babe.

It's cause you work too hard.

You should let me help.

I can do more than just count money.

You've got it all backwards.

Life was perfect then.

Idyllic, as I later came to learn.

Things never have to changeas long as we just keep moving.

Think about it. We could drive in shifts.

I'm a pretty good driver. I just can't parallel park.

Did you order pizza?

No.

Shit.

Hello?

Is this Phillip?

Who's this?

This is your dad.

This is your dad who misses both you and your mom very, very much.

Phillip?

-Mom. -Morning, babe.

-Let's go. -Shh.

Come here.

There's nowhere else to go. See?

Every day's a road, and every man's a map.

Looks like I'm the designated driver.

What am I, the designated drunk?

You should take a break.

I can't take a break. Mothering's a full-time job.

I meant on driving.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, man.

So when astronauts go on long space trips,

their bodies get longer because, without gravity, everything spreads out.

Oh, man. I feel sorry for those poor astronauts.

I tried to eat their space food once. It is horrible.

-I think I have a theory. -On what, babe?

-Gravity. -Mm.

Well, I'm afraid that someone already beat you to it.

-That ugly guy with the apple. -No!

It's beyond Newton.

I'm talking DNA.

Wow, you worked that out already?

You are faster than I thought.

You're a lot faster than I thought. Babe, slow down.

Mom, if we're gonna live together on our own planet,

our bodies are gonna have to get used to different gravitational forces.

If we're gonna live together on this planet, baby,

you better slow it down right now.

The only way our DNA can start evolving

is by experiencing different g-forces.

Sweetie, this is an Impala.

Spaceships do not have power steering and power brakes.

This is just a test to see how our bodies react

to extreme speeds of space travel.

God, my stomach is bad.

Phillip, stop the goddamn car.

120. Come on, 120!

-Phillip! Phillip. -Come on! Whoo-hoo!

-We're gonna do it, Mom. -Slow it down right now.

-I'm gonna do it, Mom. 120! -Phillip, stop the goddamn car.

-Come on, 120! -No!

Phillip.

Hey, babe. You're back.

What happened?

Where are we?

Remember? We're in Hackensack, New Jersey.

We had a little accident, but everything's fine now.

You okay?

I'm okay.

You okay?

Still feeling a little sore, huh?

We got ourselves a little angel.

-Angel? -Mm-hmm.

His name is Pedro.

He called the tow truck for us.

Wanna come say hi?

Hey.

How you doin', sport?

Oh, you don't like to shake hands, huh?

Okay. 'Cause you can do whatever you want,

or whatever you don't want, around here.

Mi casa es su casa.

Just enjoy yourself while you're here. Okay?

While we're here?

Pedro's got a big toolbox. Maybe you can learn some carpentry.

You wanna learn how to hold a hacksaw?

How about soldering? You wanna learn how to solder metal?

Not really.

Anytime that you wanna learn how to make things,

like a tree house or a go-kart, you let me know.

'Cause this is what I do. I work with wood.

And I even own my own hardware store.

Mom, come on. Let's get out of here.

Come on, we can take Pedro's truck.

Mornin', babe.

Mom, some of these haven't even expired yet.

That's okay.

I won't be needing them anymore.

Hey, babe.

Mom, checkout time was last week.

Come on, let's get moving. Let's get back in motion.

We're still in motion, babe. It's just a different kind.

-What kind? -Kind with movement and growth.

It's normal-like.

You deserve a real home, a house you can come to,

people you can count on.

Your mom's right, sport.

Everybody's gotta settle down eventually.

Even chemotrophics.

- Hello? - -Phillip, are you all right?

-You sound tense. -Who is this?

Phillip, it's your father, Henry Davis.

Is your mom really gonna stay with this boob?

All right, listen up, Norman, or whichever idiot this is,

the joke's old, it's stale, it's crustier than your shorts, get it?

Phillip, please, you have every right to be suspicious of me.

And actually, I applaud that.It's a sign of intelligence.

But for now, you have to trust me.

-I wanna help you. -Help me?

-Yes. -With what?

I think you know.

Hey, sport.

They still teach that, uh, new math?

Or is that stuff old now?

This is chemistry.

You enjoying school, Phillip?

It's okay.

Say, sport, um...

Your mom says that your birthday is coming up real soon.

I was thinkin'.

How's about we throw you a little party?

Maybe there's some friends from school you'd like to invite.

It's a great way to meet babes. Girls love parties.

The more friends you invite, the more presents you get.

Your mom's right.

Well, I was gonna wait on this, but what the hell?

I already got you a really great present.

-You did? -And it's already in your room.

I wonder what he got you.

A brand-new VCR.

Dear Phillip,in case you're stilldoubting my identity,

take a look at this video.

It was shot duringyour seventh birthday party,the last time we were together.

Perhaps you'll recognize me.

I'm the man who looks most like you.

You know, a take-charge kinda guy.

A guy who gets things done.

Your dad, Henry Davis.

So what do you think now?

Am I your dad, or am I your dad?

-I guess so. -Of course I am.

'Cause only a dad would give his son

a birthday gift he can truly use.

There it is. Take a look.

Open it.

TheUS Pharmaceutical Catalog.

- Hush. - Sport?

Don't answer.

What do you think? Nice, huh?

You know, you want me to show you how to use it?

Don't tell him I was here.

Does that open?

Sport?

You okay in there?

Look on page 286. You'll figure it out.

You all right, kiddo?

You... You want me to set your clock for you?

It's a simple thing, really.

It's just like setting any other clock.

I don't know what all the fuss is about.

What's the big deal about setting a clock, right, Phil?

What do you think, kiddo?

Very nice.

Wanna make a cup of coffee?

Phillip?

Oh, my God.

Hi, Mom.

Look. We don't need Pedro anymore.

I can take care of us now.

Come on. The Impala's all fixed up and gassed to the max.

Let's rev.

I guess I can't blame you, now, can I?

Mom.

You said we'd be in motion. We're not moving at all.

I said it'd be a different kind of motion.

Just 'cause you can't see it doesn't mean

we're not moving and growing, just like that tree.

You know, it doesn't look like it's moving, but it is.

Are we gonna stay with Pedro forever?

No one knows what's forever, babe.

We grow and we change.

So why don't we change Pedro?

Because Pedro's a very kind man.

He doesn't bother me when I don't wanna be bothered.

He bothers me.

Look.

Pedro made this.

No one ever made me a gift before.

Not even Dad?

Your father make a gift?

Your father wouldn't even buy a gift unless he wanted something.

The only thing your father ever cared about was building his goddamn empire

and building a big mental cage around me.

-Pedro builds things around you. -Yes, he does.

But Pedro builds simple things that people can use.

They're things we can build on.

Things that... last.

Hey, sport.

You gonna raid the fridge tonight?

-Where's Mom? -Didn't she tell you?

She got herself a part-time job.

A job?

Good game. You wanna watch it.

Hey.

I bet you're wondering why, uh...

why I'm not angry at you for selling my tools.

Well, I learned a long time ago

you can't get mad every time something bad happens.

You just gotta look at the bright side.

You gotta take that negative

and turn it into a positive.

Right, Phil?

And besides...

I know you had a reason for what you did. I respect that.

I mean, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Right, Phil?

So, come on, let's be pals.

Let's make an effort.

Used to play a little pro ball myself.

Little double-A ball, down in Texas.

It's how I got my nickname.

I spent a little time in Mexico,

so everybody called me Pedro.

Guess it kinda stuck.

I mean, sometimes you just gotta make the effort,

you know what I mean?

I mean, it's not like I had these big ambitions, you know,

to run a hardware store for Chrissake.

I mean, I don't wake up excited in the morning thinking,

"Whoopie, I get to go today to my very own hardware store."

Hell, no.

Running a hardware store is very hard work, Phillip, believe you me.

Mm, I mean, there are days...

There are days when I'd like to just stay home and relax and lay down.

But then who'd run the hardware store?

Who would pay my bills? Who would pay my mortgage?

Right, nobody.

It's a hard-and-fast world we live in, Phillip.

I'm telling you this as a friend, now.

All of this teary-eyed,

"feeling sorry for yourself" childhood crap... it doesn't work.

I mean, it doesn't work for long, anyway.

I promise you that.

I mean, your mother...

Your mother, she wants you to have this idyllic childhood.

She thinks it's Camelot or something, your childhood.

I'm here to tell you, I looked up "idyllic" in the dictionary,

and, uh, I wouldn't hold my breath.

So... Mmm.

Well...

Whoa.

Mm, I guess I'm bushed.

Tell me what happens, okay?

Take care of yourself, kiddo.

Watch that baby! It's outta here!

Home run. Now a 3-to-2 ball game.

Dodgers' lead down to a run.

Mom.

Mom.

It's true.

You do have the sweetest breasts.

Phillip...

don't ever spy on me.

Hey, babe, we're here.

Wake up.

Wake up, babe.

Guess what I've rented.

-A helicopter? -A house.

Our very own house.

Welcome to Staten Island.

Now, I know this place doesn't have wheels... it's not going anywhere...

but it's just the two of us like you wanted, right?

I guess.

And it seems like a pretty decent neighborhood.

I mean, there's plenty of kids around.

You can make some friends and, you know,

do whatever it is kids do around here.

'Cause I want things to be different this time.

How different?

Well, for starters, we're both getting jobs.

Jobs? I don't have a work permit.

That's not gonna stop you from delivering papers before school, now, is it?

Now, let's see what's out there for a self-starter like myself.

"Hey, buff boys, are you a chiseled hunk? Like to clean?"

No and definitely no.

Here's one for us. "Engineer.

Facilitate procurement of nuclear-related materials

for construction of nuclear power plant."

If you can give me a few tutorial lessons, I'm there.

Don't they have strict requirements?

You kidding? It's the nuclear power industry.

-"One year experience." -Every ad says that.

"Must speak Korean and English."

See? I'm halfway there.

"BS required."

If they want BS, I'll give them BS and plenty of it.

'Cause this is a fresh start for you and me.

Mom, I have an idea.

What if Pedro comes and lives with us?

I'm not mad at him anymore.

That's very sweet of you, babe, but its, um,

a little late for that, don't you think?

Sometimes it's very hard to tell the difference

between your conception of the world

and the world's conception of you.

Promise me you'll think about that, okay?

Think about what happened in Hackensack.

I will.

Hey, little man. What's up?

Except for the men,I was beginning to experience

something like a normal childhood,

the kind you find only in books.

I thought Mom wanted a real home, just for the two of us.

But maybe Mom had other plans.

Phillip.

How are you?

How's your mom?

How's the new place?

How'd you find us?

How do I always find you?

Detectives.

You two are one hard act to follow,

but you're not so hard to trace.

Sometimes reading the reports on you two is more fun than watching television.

What do you want?

You.

And your mom.

I want the both of you.

Uh, stay here.

I gotta take a pee. I'll be right back.

Mom, we gotta get outta here, like, now.

Mom!

What happened?

Phillip, you'll be late for school.

Mom, wait! Don't go in there!

- Mom? - Shh. Leave me alone.

- Hello? - -Sorry I had to run like that,

but the Yamamoto prospectus is ready and, well...

business waits for no man, not even me.

-Where are you? -On my car phone. Can you hear me?

'Cause I want you to listen carefully. It's about your mom.

Phillip, do you hear me? Phillip, do you hear me?

-Yeah. -It's great to hear your voice, son.

I love you and I love your mother, too, no matter what she's done.

As far as I know, she's done some pretty bad things.

Like what?

Like the 259 traffic violations,

the 112 misdemeanors,the 88 felonies,

and the 68 assaultsfrom Altoona to Yuma.

Speaking of Yuma,how's your leg?

-My leg?-Don't tell me you've forgotten.It was just last summer.

You ran into a nest of wasps.A few of them bit youin your thigh, the fleshy part.

How did you know about that?

Your mother called meright after it happened.

You rememberhow your leg swelled up?

Your mom was pretty scared.

-She called you? -Yeah.

I recommended a doctor I knowoutside of town.

Didn't you wonderwhy she didn't just rush youto the nearest hospital?

She said Yuma didn't have a hospital.

That's your mother.She's got an explanationfor everything.

Now if only she'd explain whyshe's breaking our little deal,

maybe I couldstraighten things out.

Deal? What deal?

She never told you?

No

Hold on, Phillip.I've got Tokyo on the line.

Dad was getting closer,

like a creeping shadowslowly eclipsing Mom's light.

We had to get moving again before it was too late.

You're doing it all wrong, kiddo.

Here, let me show you.

You gotta make a vacuum. You gotta do it quick.

Pedro?

In the flesh.

Why are you here?

You tell me.

-No, come on. I wanna know. -Oh, I bet you do.

But that's for me to know and for you to find out.

How's your mother?

-Not good. -Why not?

-I don't know. -Oh, really?

You used to know everything.

Did my mom ever tell you about some kind of deal she had with my dad?

No, she told me your dad was dead.

-Dead? -Isn't that what she told you?

No.

Uh-oh!

Looks like somebody's not getting the truth around here.

I thought I knew my mom inside and out.

But I guess I don't know her at all.

Your mom's a world all her own.

Pedro, did I do something to you?

I can't remember what I did.

Mom.

Mom, it's the last bowl of cereal.

And we're all out of milk.

But I got you a pear.

-Thanks, babe. -Mom, if anything's bothering you, you can tell me.

I can take it, whatever it is.

Why don't you go relax and read your dictionary or something, okay, baby?

All right.

You get some rest. I'll get us out of here. You'll see.

Hello?

It's me, Phillip, your paperboy.

No need to shoot me.

Go ahead.

Take it.

Take all this crap.

Yeah.

-You're right. This is crap. -Yeah.

And they're probably at the mall right now buying even more crap.

The suckers won't even know what's missing.

They'll think they loaned it to a neighbor.

-But they can't remember which one. -So they'll buy some more crap.

-And then we'll come back. -Yeah, we will.

Because this is like one of nature's life cycles.

We're just doing our part in the chain.

Yeah... whatever.

Beirut.

Terrorism at its best.

That bomb got my dad.

Sorry.

You got a dad?

Yeah, but I don't remember much about him.

Don't sweat it. He probably doesn't remember you, either.

Go away!

Rodney.

Um, there's, um, tuna fish in the fridge

in case you and your friend are hungry.

And there's Snickers bars in the freezer

just the way you like them.

And if you and your little friend want,

I can make us all Manhattans.

My little friend is Phillip.

Oh. Mm...

Would you... Would you like a Manhattan?

-No, thanks. -Ethel, listen up.

Take your stupid little comic book to your cave

and shut the fuck up!

Do you always talk to your mom that way?

Yeah, if your mom's a mental midget.

Don't you tell me to shut up. Don't you dare tell me to shut up!

Why don't you shut up? Huh, Rodney?

I mean for once, why don't you just shut up?

Did you see that? Do you see how I control her?

-Yeah. -Know what that is?

Some kind of psychological dysfunctional something?

No, it's black magic. I put a spell on the bitch.

Phil, man, come here for a sec.

Phil, I've been watching you, and you know what?

What?

I've sensed something about you.

You have?

Yeah, you got warlock potential.

And with a little training, you can have your mom doing anything you want, too.

Here, I want you to read these.

Starting withThe Book of Black Magic,

then this, then this.

Then maybe we'll have some real fun.

What do you want with that crap?

Maybe I can cook up something for my mom.

You know, an elixir to get her up and running.

Mom, I'm making some real scientific progress.

I think I'm on the verge of some groundbreaking discoveries.

If you win the Nobel Peace Prize,

don't forget to thank me in your speech.

Mom, you gotta eat something.

I don't think alcohol has enough nutrients.

At least have a banana. And drink some lemonade.

Just leave it there. Thanks.

I bought us some new maps.

Maybe if you sleep beneath them...

you can dream of all the places we can go.

See?

Vermont, Panama, and Finland.

I don't wanna go to Finland.

-Okay, where do you wanna go? -Shh, back to sleep.

Well...

Don't sleep too long 'cause Dad's coming back.

He's been calling me.

He knows about Yuma.

And Altoona and all the rest.

What are you talking about?

Mom...

I know you still talk to him.

I do not talk to your father, and I certainly do not wanna see him.

Then let's get out of here.

Come on, let's go where trees aren't trees,

-where roads aren't road... -No.

Why not?

Because, eventually, trees are just trees

and roads are just roads.

And moms are moms even when they're not moms.

Baby, what we had was really great,

but, eventually, it had to end.

End?

I can't keep screwing up your childhood anymore.

I just wanna go back to sleep.

Oh.

Here. I don't want them. Take them.

Just take the car keys. I want you to go, okay?

-But, Mom... -Phillip.

If you stick with me, you'll never find your way in this world.

I can't go.

I can't drive. I don't have a license.

Oh. Right.

Neither did I.

I've never really considered myself beautiful.

But I don't think beauty's the only thing men are looking for.

If you know what I mean.

Beauty's just something men made up to make money.

You know, to sell makeup, magazines,

and a million kinds of underwear.

It's capitalism, pure and simple.

I have to take this call. If you'll excuse me.

Unbelievable.

It's just one steaming load of crap after another.

But, uh,

if it gets me some of this, she can talk French for all I care.

What's her name?

Beatrice.

Do you really think she'll be able to help me?

Hey, she's gotta be good for something, but, uh,

first, she's helping me.

One, two, three, lift.

She's heavier than she looks.

- It could be worse. - How?

If we were living on Jupiter.

"If we were living on Jupiter?"

Everything's heavier on Jupiter

'cause of bigger gravitational pull.

Don't you know anything?

Thanks, guys.

You're true friends.

Yeah, whatever.

Phillip.

It's okay, Mom. Look.

I learned how to drive.

And I have a license now.

Mom.

Mom.

Wait.

Mom.

Pedro?

Is that you?

-What are you doing here? -Oh, never mind what I'm doing here, kiddo.

Question is, what are you doing here?

I thought by now you'd be back in the world of fast cars.

She locked her door.

She doesn't wanna move.

Are you sure?

She is moving. You just can't see it.

In fact, right now, she might be

floating down luminous rivers on rotting rats.

Then why doesn't she take me with her?

Because, sport,

some places we all just gotta go alone.

Why doesn't she tell me this herself?

She is.

I know her eyes are closed and her lips aren't moving, but she's telling you.

She's saying, "Baby, all mothers live a fair portion of their lives in secret,

but that doesn't mean I love you any less."

Makes sense, don't it?

You hear me, don't you, sport?

Hello, Phillip.

You remember who I am?

Your face.

What happened to your face?

It's been three years. I guess I've earned a wrinkle or two.

But look at you.

I cannot believe you're the same little Phillip

I saw at your seventh birthday party.

You remember that party?

It's the last time we saw each other.

Phil, you look confused.

You know what?

I think you and I should spend the evening together.

What do you say?

By the way,

that's a hell of a TV set you got there.

-Just checking. -Checking what?

If you're real.

I'm real, all right.

You can bet on it.

I don't blame you for wondering, though.

In fact, that's the main reason I wanna take you home with me.

You can't grow up thinking life is the way your mom lives it.

Think about it. What if the police or the firemen or the president

just did whatever they felt like whenever they damn well felt like it?

What if some little third world dictator

got ahold of a nuclear bomb, threatened to blow up Washington

and the president's off traipsing around somewhere...

Doesn't even bother to leave a forwarding address.

Maybe Mom just needs her own space.

Everybody needs their own space, son.

Your mom used to do this to me all the time when she was upset.

But I knew that what she really wanted

was for me to come in and comfort her.

It was like a little game we played.

These locks are designed to be picked.

Mom, it's Dad. He's coming in.

Margaret, I'm here.

Look at that smile.

Your mother always did have the most beautiful smile.

-Did you feel that? -Mm.

-Do you know who I am? -Mm.

Who am I?

You pay the bills.

You don't know what you're saying. Now help me get this off.

I don't know what... I know I don't want that. I want to be like...

Phillip, what does your dad do?

I bet he's a big successful businessman.

When you grow up, you'll be a businessman, too.

It's in your blood. I can tell.

You can transmit...

now.

So what's the dividend on that?

Uh-huh.

Why can't we convert into unit trusts?

Oh, who the fuck said that?

Well, fuck them!

No, I don't give a shit!

Look, I cannot make a living on theories, Harry.

I cannot buy a single fuckin' meal on theories!

Can't even buy a good song.

What?

All right. You see how you do without my money, okay?

Yeah. Fuck you very much, Harry.

-If only he'd go away. -Who?

-My father. -Well then, why'd you ask him to come?

-I didn't ask him to come. -Yes, you did.

-No, I didn't. -Yes, you did.

No, I didn't.

Well, you didn't ask him not to come.

What is your problem?

I don't have a problem. You do.

You're the problem. You're a man.

Men are supposed to be confused.

I'm not confused.

I know exactly what's happening.

-I'm losing my mom. -No, you're not.

It's all in your head.

Listen to me. I'm just trying to help you.

Well, forget it, 'cause I don't want your help.

Well, fine, 'cause maybe you need professional help.

-You know, a counselor. -A what?

You heard me.

I'll show you.

I don't need any help from you or Rodney or anybody.

No one's gonna tell me what to do anymore except for me.

That's your problem, Phillip. You're always thinking of yourself.

But maybe you aren't the only person in this world

who feels they're losing someone they love.

Hey! Where are you going?

Phillip, you come back here.

We're not finished.

What a baby.

Shh. You'll wake your mother.

Why is it locked like that?

Because, Phillip, what your mother needs most in the world right now is rest.

Complete and undisturbed rest.

-Can I come in there? -Not for a while.

She's in bad shape.

Don't worry, I'm taking good care of her. You'll see.

Hey, babe. Can't sleep?

Well, come on down. We need to talk to you.

I'm just telling your mother about this giant new house

I'm having built for the three of us.

Big, beautiful house. A thousand times nicer than this place.

-Try a million. -Absolutely.

Wait till you see your new room.

I'm having it fixed up with all the best stuff.

-Fax, copier, modem. -Scanner?

-Scanner, right. -Scanner.

You'll even have your own website.

Wow, your own home page, huh?

The school you're gonna be going to produced six presidents.

-One was a Democrat, right? -One Democrat, yeah.

And for college,

any Ivy League you want.

Or if you're not ready for college,

you can take a year off, travel the world.

The point is, you put your mind to it...

-Put your mind to it. -...you can be anyone you wanna be.

-A scientist. -An investment analyst.

-Astronaut. -Securities broker.

-A rock promoter, tattoo artist. -You might like working on Wall Street.

-I think that might make you happy. -Whatever makes you happy.

That's all that matters.

So, kiddo.

It's come to this, huh?

You should've ran when you had the chance.

And left my mom?

Oh, it's a sacrifice, I know.

-Never. -So what are you gonna do?

Just sit on your ass, let your dad run the show?

Hasta la vista,Pedro.

Whoo!

Looks like you met your match.

Face facts, kiddo. You hate your father.

You want him out of the way.

I don't hate him.

I mean, not really.

He's just trying to help.

He's conquered your mother.

Guess who's next.

What should I do?

I think you know.

I don't know, Pedro.

Tell me.

Kill him.

Kill him now.

Kill him soon. Kill him any way you can.

Hey.

Lunch is ready. I made it myself.

You can come in.

-What's this? A map? -Mm-hmm.

Of our new home, our house.

Look, see?

Plenty of extra rooms for all your friends to sleep over.

This is your room, of course.

Hmm.

What do you think?

I knew thenthat all Mom's energy,all her inner light

had been sucked into the black hole called Dad.

Only chemistry could save us now.

You know what? I'm not gonna grow up.

I'm growing down,

like the roots of a tree.

I'm gonna grow deep inside the Earth's core

where no one can ever pull me out.

You'll grow up,

you'll buy a condo in Fort Lee,

you'll get married, you'll have children.

No.

No children.

So, have you thought about it? My plan.

What? About killing your father?

Please, don't bother me with that nonsense.

He's your dad. You'd never do anything to hurt him, and you know it.

I've got it all worked out.

I know exactly what I'm gonna do.

"I know exactly what I'm going to do."

That's just like a man.

He knows everything about everything,

but nothing about himself.

If you don't watch out, you'll end up like Rodney...

a woman-hating, world-hating twerp

who blames everything on his mother.

You know what I think?

I think women are who you really hate,

not that poor, dumb jerk of a dad you've got.

I hope you can understand, son.

My relationship with your mother's never been perfect. Few marriages are.

That's why, when she wanted to leave, I

let the two of you go without a hassle because...

because I love you both.

And, of course, I knew eventually we'd be together again.

-How? -It was like an experiment.

All that time on the road.

And if the experiment failed, as I knew it would,

then she'd come back to me.

But she didn't come back to you.

-You came back to her. -Good point.

But completely irrelevant.

See, the point is...

Your mother and I really do need each other.

That's why your mom's agreed to give this marriage another shot.

And we both agree that you'll be the chief beneficiary in the long run.

We, um, do agree on that, actually.

Anyway, what I'm trying to get across to you, son, is that...

It's always been a great comfort to me to know

that you were taking care of your mother

and keeping her happy all that time.

So here's to you, son.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Mmm.

This is delicious.

Phillip, you've turned into a world-class cook.

Mmm.

Phillip, is that you?

Yes.

Are you feeling okay?

Why? Don't I look okay?

You're sweating.

'Cause there's no air in this dump.

You better get packed.

'Cause we're moving into the new house this weekend whether it's finished or not.

Fuckin' contractors.

The way they act, you'd think they own the house.

Are you sure you're well enough to move?

Sure, I'm fine. Couldn't be better.

Hey, where are you go...

-You ready? -Yes.

For true evil.

Yeah.

Okay, we're gathered here today

to help a fellow desperado and his flaky mother

in a search for freedom.

So if anybody's out there listening,

what we're looking for is some sort of a spirit guide

to help us throw a heavy-duty...

super lethal hex on this sucker.

'Cause that slow and not-too-painful death by some piece of crap

you can buy in any toy store chemistry set

just ain't cuttin' it.

So we'll sit real quiet,

relax,

and get in tune with your vibrations.

You just let us know when you're ready.

Just give us a sign. I won't say another word.

Phillip, can't you see what's going on?

Don't you see what's happening?

- Shh. - Look at you.

You're worse than Rodney.

At least he doesn't know any better.

Silence.

You never really cared about chemistry.

You just used those chemicals to try to kill your dad.

And that's what this whole occult thing is all about.

So you and Rodney can take control.

That's so goddamn male, Phillip.

That's so damn penile of you.

All right, Mom! Yes! Where are we going?

Mexico? South America?

Mom.

Where are we going?

Nowhere.

Aren't we going together?

No.

Why?

I don't get it.

That's okay, baby. I didn't get it, either.

Children aren't supposed to understand.

That's what makes them children.

You can tell me. I'll understand.

Can you understand why I've been sitting here alone

with the motor running for over an hour?

Does it make any sense to you? 'Cause it...

It sure doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

But you were gonna leave without me.

But you didn't.

You didn't wanna leave me.

Come here.

You never deserved a mom like me.

I should've never had a child.

Don't say things like that.

I'm sorry, baby.

I didn't mean it.

I have an idea.

Why don't we just ditch Dad and go right now?

Just the two of us riding into the sunset.

I wish we could, babe.

I wish we could start all over again,

just the two of us in some magic place

on some private planet.

But that's just a fantasy.

There is no place like that.

But we could look for one.

I think wherever we go, your father would find us.

That's not the point.

I mean, he is your father.

Not only does he have the right to raise you, but

he wants to raise you, and I can't deny him that anymore.

He says he loves you, Phillip.

Going somewhere?

Don't leave me alone right now.

Thank you.

No! No!

-Phillip. Phillip, come here. -No!

-Phillip, it's okay. -Get off me!

-It's okay, it's okay. -Leave me alone!

It's okay. Come on.

-No! -It's okay.

-I hate you! -Say good-bye to the Chevy, Phillip.

Ahh!

It's time, Phillip.

Turn that negative into a positive.

I will, Pedro.

I will.

Death is the hard song, Phillip.

We only get one crack at it.

We almost never get it right.

Listen to me, Phillip.

Your father's your own flesh and blood.

You'd never do anything to hurt him.

-You won't have the guts. -Shh.

See? I told you the spirits wouldn't let us down.

They must be holding his soul incommunicado.

Just in case.

You love your mother too much to hurt her like this.

Does this look like his mother?

Phillip knows what I mean. Don't you?

You ready to go?

Wire cutters.

I knew it. This is just a pathetic cry for help.

Screwdriver.

You all right?

I'm fine.

Saw.

-Pedro? -Pedro?

He's still breathing.

He's still got a pulse.

Maybe that's because you haven't done anything yet.

Come on, do it!

Do it!

I feel hot. I think I need a drink.

I've got an idea.

After you guys go and kill Phillip's father,

why don't you kill everybody else in the world?

But make sure you start with the men.

Go and kill all the men.

And then get back to me in a few thousand years.

We might have something going then.

Hey, what's the holdup? We gonna do this, or what?

"Dear son, I hope this is something you'll understand better than your mother will.

I must be suffering from some irreversible stomach cancer

or maybe even something worse.

My doctor says I'm not thinking straight.

But I'd rather not cause you and your mother

more unneeded misery.

I'm counting on you to take good care of your mother after I'm gone.

My lawyer's business card is attached,

and there's $5,000 cash in my wallet.

Love, Dad."

He left me!

You can't just leave like that!

It isn't very responsible!

Phillip.

When you're finished in here, I want you to leave.

But, Mom.

You can take your father's Mercedes and all his money.

I'll just say I was asleep in my room and didn't hear a thing.

I'll still love you, Phillip.

But you are the way you are, and you'll probably never change.

As for your father,

hopefully he'll learn that sometimes it's best

just to keep the past in the past.

Now, if you and your friend don't mind,

I'm going back to sleep for about a hundred years.

Jesus.

Rodney, this is it.

-Can you feel it? -Feel what?

The light of real movement.

The light of real growth.

Can you feel it?

Holy shit!

So how was your first night in your new bed?

In your new room in your new house.

-Very nice. -That's what I like to hear.

Nectar of the gods.

And this is for you.

Go ahead, open it.

Dr. Gilbert says that...

a lack of discipline was a major factor

in your life taking the course it did. Now...

I know the word "discipline" has a...

a bad reputation in some circles, but,

believe me, son, without discipline,

this whole world would just be swept away.

Anyway, I've taken the liberty

of filling in some of your key appointments.

Like with Dr. Gilbert, the nutritionist, and...

Well, you'll see.

Anyway, the important thing is that these next few months

will be extremely crucial in reestablishing

your relationship to this family.

Do you understand me? Now that you're back from...

from fantas... Well...

Anyway.

That's all water under the bridge, huh?

Let's just let sleeping dogs lie, shall we?

Let 'em lie, huh?

Let them dogs lie in the street, eh?

How was school today, babe?

Okay.

Learn anything interesting?

Yes, in chemistry.

Did you know that every piece of matter is in motion?

Even stationary things like rocks and trees.

That's because everything's made of atoms.

And atoms are always in motion.

And if they're given a chance, atoms move apart from each other.

Sometimes so far apart that rocks aren't rocks anymore.

And trees aren't trees.

Kinda like when steam or fog thins out

until you can't see it anymore.

That's because its atoms are so far apart.

Same thing is happening with the universe.

It's expanding.

I see we've picked out a very good school.

Hey, sport.

So, okay, that last plan didn't work out so good.

And now you're stuck with your dad, aren't you?

And your mom,

well, looks like we both lost her now.

Can't win 'em all, can you, kiddo?

You'd be smart to lay low for a while.

But don't worry.

Mom may be gone, but she's not far away.

I never heard from Pedro again.

Or Beatrice or Rodney.

As for me and Mom,

well, she thinks we've settled down.

But I know there's more.

Once you've truly loved,

truly felt every celland chemical move in your body,

as Mom and I have,

you can't go back to anything else.

If I ever love again...

it'll be nothing less.