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I'd come to Paris in search of a little relaxation.
I had a job in the south of France,
turning the tables at a local disco club.
After shopping around a while,
I ended up casing, guess what,
a popular Parisian disco
where I happened to have an old friend.
Hi, what would you like to drink?
Scotch.
Okay.
Oh, hey.
What's going down?
Downtown, boy
What the hell you doing here?
Ah, de-stressing, two or three days.
Oh, cool.
You might get re-stressed fast, buddy.
I know you, you old reprobate.
Later, baby.
Hey, come on.
Incidents, young man, is the mother of destiny, right?
Long live destiny I say.
Hi, I'm jack.
I'm Suzy.
I'm American.
I am an earthling.
I'm delighted.
I'm glad.
Bingo, come on.
Ho.
See you around, Mac.
Come on.
Let's blow this joint.
Hey, where's my friend?
He just left with Suzy.
Oh, no.
You mean that?
Yeah, and when he opens the package,
you can bet he's gonna find a few surprises inside.
Hey, are you sure?
I'm positive.
Shit.
My place?
Okay, but I gotta get my bag, first.
Hey, Jack.
Jack, come back.
Jack, Jack!
So, what do you do?
I make people dance, disco.
You know.
Ah, jateime, a disc jockey.
Terrific.
I win again.
Watch it.
Boy, you Americans are fast this year.
A la la, what a drag, there's no electricity.
Wait, I'll find something.
Right this way, follow me.
And don't bump into anything.
Hey, your apartment's very big.
I don't complain.
Watch it.
Ow.
Watch it.
How come you didn't wanna go to my hotel?
Never.
I don't go with strangers to a hotel.
Besides, only hookers go to hotels.
Hey, it seems pretty comfy here.
Does the juice often go off?
There have been some workmen here
on and off recently.
They must have shut it off or something.
Does it bother you?
I find it exciting, don't you?
Yeah, very.
You can tell how excited I am, can't you?
Mm.
Not bad.
Thanks.
You naughty boy.
That is exciting.
And now we get a little ambiance going
for ourselves here.
Okay, first I take off my clothes.
Okay, while you're doing that, I set up.
Wow.
Take it off.
Shh.
Who the hell is that?
Somebody got into the wrong apartment.
Wow, there sure are a lot of people in your family.
Do they ever come in groups?
Better stop.
I woke in the morning to a big surprise.
I discovered I'd spent the night in a furniture store
and I wasn't the only person to be surprised.
The manager and his staff made it very clear
I wasn't welcome.
What is this?
Hands off.
I've been thrown out of clubs, bars, and lady's apartments,
never out of a furniture store,
but there's a first time for everything.
Ah.
I was due back at work and I had to get a plane
to the south of France.
Take me straight to Orly.
I'm flying to Nice.
I'm sorry, monsieur,
but there are no flights at all.
There is a strike on.
I'll have to take the train.
Au revoir.
You have no money?
You can not take a cab without paying.
Hold on, okay.
Here, take the credit card.
Who cares about credit cards.
I'm gonna smash you.
You pay in money, huh?
Look, say, here, take my ring.
I don't want that.
I want money.
Don't push, just take my ring.
There, here.
Take it and leave me alone.
That's it now.
I only just managed to catch the train.
I finally arrived at my destination,
the south of France.
Son of a bitch.
Hey, what is going on?
Oh, I share the apartment.
My buddy must've given me the wrong key.
Well, maybe he'll be back soon.
No, he's gone to Marbella for a month.
Say, ain't you the DJ at Caron Tois?
Ha, the one and only.
And the great and unique, the marvelous, the wonderful,
the incredible Jack Rochester.
I drive crowds wild and sometimes I have the same effect
on women.
Haven't I seen you somewhere?
Oh, sometimes I go to your Caron Tois.
I like to dance there, but I'm not a member.
I didn't know you lived here.
Well, I just moved in.
Mmm.
Say, I'm real tired.
I'm really whiffed.
I've been to Paris.
I just got back by train.
Strikes, I didn't sleep a wink.
You must be tired.
Want some coffee?
You're an angel.
Come on in, make yourself comfortable.
This is home.
Coffee's coming right up.
Thank god.
You're really tired, huh?
Why don't you put on a record for a change.
Funny.
Think nothing of it, my dear.
I just love Paris.
What were you doing there?
Just sightseeing.
I spend absolute days and days at the Louvre.
Really?
Yeah.
I was particularly turned on by the Fragonard.
Oh yeah?
I love Fragonard.
I also recall a superb galleys exhibition.
The galleys, the galleys were exquisite.
Galleys?
Great galley.
You know, I've always wanted to be a member
of that club where you work?
Oh, yeah?
Well, I could probably fix that up for you.
Sure.
Could you do that for me?
How could I ever repay you?
Careful, it's very hot.
Oh,
You asleep?
No.
I made you some toast and honey.
I hope you like it.
If you'll excuse me now, I'll be back in a minute.
Then we can call the locksmith if you like, okay?
Okay.
You like my coffee?
Yeah.
I get it sent directly from Columbia, you know?
Oh god, you know the dresses in Paris.
I can't believe the sweaters, they're...
Oh shit, I got soap in my eyes.
I won't be long.
Hey, you've had a little nap.
Now, want me to call the locksmith?
Ah, have a cigarette?
French?
Ha, souvenir of a coincidence.
That's all.
And could you really do something
about getting me a club card?
You can count on it.
This wasn't just a woman.
She was a tigress.
In my tired and confused imagination,
it seemed that everything started to happen very fast.
I'd never been chased like this before in my life.
I'm normally a guy who likes to set the pace,
but not this time.
But finally everything began to slow down
and just as I reached the climax of the whole affair,
I fell asleep.
And now I'm a real member of your club.
Bastard.
And that's how I met Brigid.
Brigid drove off to the Carlton hotel,
where she worked in the Cartier jewelry boutique.
Yes, sir?
My bill, please.
Certainly, sir.
Any messages for me?
No messages, ma'am.
Bye.
Hello, Brigid.
Your excellency, we'll have your bill here in a moment.
As a matter of fact, I changed my mind.
May I keep the suite for an additional evening?
It will be our pleasure.
Santos, the Count's keys please.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Talk about action.
Good morning, Cartier.
Yes.
A private showing?
But of course.
What specifically are you interested in?
I see.
And for who, may I ask?
Count Crespi, suite 44.
Yes, Count.
I won't be a moment.
These should impress any Count.
The necklace.
Maybe I should take along a ring for good luck.
I'm sure you'll be safe, Brigid.
This should keep me as safe
as these precious gems, I hope.
That's right, for two
and don't forget the champagne, well chilled.
Oui, monsieur.
No no no no, no.
That's it, that's it.
That's it, Graci.
Do come in.
Excuse me, I was just on the telephone.
Make yourself at home.
Yes, yes, your highness.
He is an unbeliever,
but he can build your terminal for 14 million less.
Yes, indeed it is worth it.
My faith will make up for his.
As-Salaam-Alaikum.
Ciao.
Until tomorrow.
Sorry.
For my protection as well as yours, senorita.
And for the pretty babies you're carrying.
I quite agree.
Please, take a load off, as you Americans say.
I'll close the curtains just a little
and the light should then be just right
for showing off your attractions.
I'm Count Aldo Crespi of Simona.
Brigid Anders, Cartier.
I like it.
I hope you will join me for a humble breakfast.
Smoked salmon, imported caviar,
and, of course, champagne.
I hope it is to your taste.
An ideal choice for my waistline,
but isn't it a bit late for breakfast?
On the contrary, my dear, for me it's barely dawn.
When did you get to bed?
To be naughty?
I should say I go to bed every time I meet a charming lady
like yourself,
but let's get down to business.
Show me your treasures.
Oh, yes, magnifico.
Extraordinary.
I get the sexual excitement for beauty.
Please, show me the rings first.
Oh, sorry.
Come in, come in, come in.
Just leave it there.
Thanks.
Monsieur.
I'll serve the lady.
To us, my dear.
Now, where we were?
The rings, your excellency.
I have several cuts and sizes here.
Some of them are extraordinarily large.
The Brilliant, for example.
It's full two carats.
That's a pretty bubble.
Let's keep it aside.
This is the hard shape.
See how its facets catch the light?
Such intuition.
You have brought precisely the items
I'm most interested in.
You know gems extremely well.
So many fine gems.
I'm given to feelings of amorous.
It's so much.
Not so fast, Count.
You're not giving yourself any time to compare,
now are you?
Please, Count, I can't keep up with you
and I'm missing two rings.
Really?
Where could they possibly be?
Give me your hand.
Forgive me, my dear,
but your beauty eclipses even your wonders of art.
That's very generous, your excellency.
Now please, give me back my rings.
Ah, he he.
You always shop like this, Count Crespi?
At Bloomingdales.
Your sales technique is extraordinary.
I'm Count Crespi, Aldo.
Have you made your choice then?
Yes, they're not ready.
I need more time to consider my selection, okay?
My card, your excellency.
Maybe we can arrange a subsequent showing.
Don't forget, dinner at eight.
I'm happy to say I haven't forgotten anything here.
Maybe we'll each have better luck next time.
But of course, my beauty.
I'm in a hurry.
I have a flight to Rome at six o'clock.
Banco, banco.
But don't you think I could try to play now?
You got to know when to hold 'em
and when to fold 'em.
Cards.
Banco
More cards.
Cards.
No cards.
And me.
Banco.
No cards, thanks.
No cards.
Banco
Card.
Cards.
Cards, monsieur, cards.
Oh, you bastard.
You've got a hell of a nerve walking in like that.
What if Gino saw you?
He's Italian.
He's hot-blooded.
So am I, my little...
How many women have you been with this week,
this night?
They only make me hunger for you more.
This isn't free lust.
I made my deposit.
Did you win very much tonight?
I had eyes for nobody but you.
Then how are you going to pay me?
You were not half bad tonight.
Should've left you where I found you,
just a beach boy in Capri.
Oh!
Where did you disappear for so long?
I was drowning my sorrows.
I don't like losing.
You should keep energy for the thing you're best at, eh?
You know what they say.
Unlucky in cards, lucky in love, darling.
It's your husband's cologne I smell on you.
It's these foul cigarettes.
Now, my darling, can we go away this weekend?
How?
With what money?
We both need a little exercise, don't you agree?
Let's go skiing, okay?
How?
Gino, wait for me.
Gino.
Is that phony Count going
to play us for the rest of our lives?
I won't have you sleeping with your husband.
It's immoral.
It's immoral, I tell you.
You sleep with your wife, don't you?
Maybe I do, but I don't enjoy it.
Now, let me have another look at that ring he gave you.
I said it's a fake
It's not.
That stone's not a fake.
I can tell the difference.
I can tell.
You must trust me.
Come on.
Dagmar, come on now.
If you're going to accept presents,
we can cash them at least.
At least, let's go and have it valued, huh?
Now, come alone now.
Pretend I'm your wife.
But I don't enjoy it with my wife.
What do you mean by that?
It's not funny at all.
And don't try that on.
Look at that damn ring.
I can tell it's genuine.
It's not fake.
Believe me, Gino.
No, don't.
Stop it, you're hurting me.
Don't.
Then tell me the truth.
Where did you get this?
All this fuss about a fake stone.
I'm gonna break his neck
and then I'll break yours.
It's a fake.
Take a close look.
It's perfectly obvious, Gino.
Is it?
We can find out very easily.
We can go to an expert.
All right, you agree?
Mm.
Let's go.
Have you any idea how ridiculously you're behaving?
We're going straight to a jeweler
to get an evaluation on it.
Let's see how your lies stand up
once we get an expert to look at it.
Then we'll get the truth.
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Mm.
If you could only give us just a rough idea
of its value.
A friend gave it to me.
I'm sure it has no value.
You agreed, darling.
You agreed to get a professional opinion.
This gentleman will have an answer for us in a moment.
Of course it's easy to be fooled at first,
particularly with such extraordinary craftsmanship.
I'm sorry, but the ring is worthless,
except as a very good imitation.
How much would you say it's worth?
How much?
Several thousand lira perhaps
if you like costume jewelry, that is.
There you are.
Do you believe me now?
May I show the senor something more suitable for the lady?
Ha ha, sure, ha.
Why not?
It'll have to be some other time, though.
Thanks very much and good day, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Always at your disposal for further appraisal.
Good day, good day.
I left my bag here.
I'll give you $6,000 right now.
We can't settle it now,
but perhaps we can meet again
to talk about the price.
Right now, Dagmar.
Come on, please.
Are you comfortable?
Yes, thank you.
That's good.
Please fasten your seat belt..
Okay.
You should have seen their faces, Giorgio.
Every time, banco banco banco banco.
I needed an armed guard to guard my winnings home.
Is that why I had to pay your taxi to the airport, huh?
The true medici travels without lira.
I notice you're not traveling
without your little lotus blossom, huh?
Rank has its privileges.
Hello, I'm Yo Yo, fly me.
No hijackers.
No claustrophobics.
You'll have a smooth flight.
Hello, Giorgio.
You'll have your kosher meal in an hour.
Would you mind taking a look in the rear cabin?
There's some turbulence on the chart.
Okay.
I want to be sure the stabilizers are in tune.
Understood.
I told you I'd get you to Hong Kong.
I really am worried about my sister.
It's got me all tense.
Here, let me help you.
Gino's at it again.
Are you wearing a Mae West or is that all you?
I'm so grateful to you for getting me on this flight.
I even remembered to bring you these horrible cigarettes.
What?
Clove, I love clove.
Ah, yes.
Is everything okay back there.
I mean, do we have a few moments please?
We can put it on automatic.
Oh, captain, my captain.
My crew, oh my crew.
Oh, come here.
What's going on?
Is that the joystick?
It's all right, sir.
Don't worry.
A bit of turbulence.
Sorry.
Could the captain inform us to when this turbulence
is going to be over?
Shall we fly united?
Captain, captain?
The passengers are somewhat disturbed.
How much longer will this boning last?
Captain, Captain?
Captain, watch the stick.
What are they doing there?
Keep your flaps down.
This is what I call flying by the seat of your pants.
Where are my pants?
I've got them right here.
I like it.
Fantastic.
Oh, captain.
Give us your position please.
I repeat, give us your position.
The missionary position.
Hong Kong to Captain Gino.
You're on the flight path.
Everything okay.
Go to runway 311 and straight to gate 17.
Hello.
Hello.
Take me to my sister's home.
Thank you.
You haven't changed at all.
What's the matter?
Why so unhappy?
A few days ago something dreadful happened to me.
I was going shopping for a birthday present
for my husband and I took the tram.
I noticed a man was staring at me.
He took a photo of me.
I could not think why.
I got off the tram and tried to shake him off,
but he followed me.
There was nothing I could do.
I'd like to ask you some question about your husband.
Hey, wait.
Who are you?
What do you want, money?
Do I look like a thief?
I'm a journalist.
I wanna ask you some questions about your husband.
We met before.
Don't you remember, at a press reception?
No, I've forgotten.
Anyway, I have nothing to tell you about my husband.
Well, I have something to tell you.
What?
About his money.
Do you know where he gets all his money?
Business.
He has his own...
Business?
Yes.
Business, being drugs.
Look, he's the largest drug dealer in Southeast Asia.
You don't know that?
No.
Okay, this story's being published soon,
but I wanna talk to you, see how you feel about it.
This is the truth.
You mustn't do this.
What do you want from me?
What do I want from you?
Yes.
I hurried away hoping I wouldn't hear from him again.
Aw, poor Ko Ko.
We're so different.
Now, if it was my problem.
It wouldn't bother me at all.
This journalist, what's his name?
Blake?
He sounds quite good-looking.
I think he would kill the story about my husband
if I sleep with him tonight,
but if I were to do so and my husband found out,
I would kill myself.
Have you made plans to see him?
We have a rendezvous tonight.
He wants me to go with him to some secret place
where we will make love.
Keep the rendezvous.
I will follow you and without him knowing,
take your place.
But if he finds out.
He need never know.
But in bed, maybe he will see the butterfly.
The butterfly?
Don't you remember?
When we were at school together,
for some stupid bet, we were both tattooed.
Of course I remember.
Your butterfly's on the right,
mine is on the left.
Leave it to me.
Tonight, we will give him more to think about
than butterflies.
Well, I asked for an air-conditioned room.
From the smell of it, it's very well conditioned indeed.
I'm starting to feel high already.
Maybe you'd like to make yourself more comfortable.
Please, just a moment.
There you go.
Ahhh.
Yeah, ahhh.
That's right.
Ohhh.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be rude by staring at you.
I've had some experiences, very confusing situations lately.
Oh, really.
Yeah.
You mind if I sit here?
Sure, go ahead.
Thanks.
I don't mind.
So, you headed back to the states?
Oh, yes, I was on location here in Hong Kong.
I was working on a film.
Really?
Well, I'm Blake Roseton.
Hello, Blake.
Jill St. George.
Hi, Jill.
Hi, Blake.
Okay.
Thanks.
Let's go get our bags.
All right.
Hey, well, I think we make
pretty good traveling companions,
what do you think?
I think we do.
You know that was the shortest foreign plane trip
I ever made.
I had a ball.
Yeah, so did I.
Where are you staying in Los Angeles.
Oh, the place isn't really mine.
It belongs to a friend.
Uh huh.
He's filthy rich.
How rich
and how filthy?
He's very rich.
He's very filthy.
But he's out of town.
Well, I have a room at The Beverly Hills Hotel,
but do I detect an invitation.
George has your bags in the car.
George?
Who's George?
He's the chauffer.
Oh.
He's very discreet.
Hi, George.
Ma'am.
Hello, George.
Sir.
Thank you.
First time we've been alone, ain't it?
Uh huh.
Are you sure George is discreet?
His lips are sealed.
Glad yours aren't sealed.
I wish George were concentrating on the scenery.
I think he is.
George.
Your hands are cold.
The rest of me is warming up very nicely.
Faster, faster.
Are we almost there?
I think so.
Hello, love.
Hello.
There you go.
That's for you.
Thank you.
And that's for me.
Ah, we're doing pretty well on this, aren't we?
I think we are.
Cheers.
Cheers.
To us.
I'll drink to that.
Cheers.
I'm really glad we met.
So am I.
You know, this is a great setup you've got here.
I like it.
What are those?
What these?
They're funny little things I take.
They're strange.
They're supposed to be good, but they're herbal.
I got 'em in Hong Kong from a girl I met there.
Oh, excuse me.
Blake, Blake, I've got the best news.
What?
My agent just called.
I get to go to New York tomorrow
to audition for a Broadway play.
Congratulations.
The lead.
Terrific.
I suppose you'll have to sleep with the producer.
Probably.
Yeah, and the director
and the stage manager,
the publicist
and all the electricians.
But you know, it might help my career a little
if I get close with you.
That's something I never thought of.
That's an excellent idea.
You little shit.
Hi.
Um, would you drive me up here for a moment and wait for me?
Yes, ma'am.
I was early for my audition,
so I decided to do a little window shopping.
It had to be that, 'cause I had no money.
Then I couldn't find the limousine and I got worried.
Taxi.
Just as I was trying to call a cab,
the chauffeur arrived and took me to my appointment.
Oh, there you are.
Hi.
Mr. Michael Manning?
Yes, it's me.
Please come in.
I'm sorry if I'm a little late.
That's all right.
My agent said you might have another appointment.
You must be, uh...
Jill St. George.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Come on in the salon.
Is it cold outside?
Yes.
Come on in and get warm.
Sit down, make yourself at home.
Thank you.
Would you like a drink.
No thank you.
Not right now.
Uh, Jane...
Jill.
I'm sorry, excuse me, of course.
Do you know anything about the role?
Well, actually, not very much,
but my agent did mention something about nudity.
Oh, yes.
Would that be a problem?
Well, I have done nude photography before,
but it was in very good taste and very artistic.
Natural mojo.
But doing it on stage, in front of a live audience,
in the flesh, naked.
Naked as a jay bird, I'd say.
Do you want me to undress?
Yes.
Okay.
Beautiful.
Turn.
A little bit more now.
Turn a little bit more for me please.
Joila.
Superb.
Beautiful.
That's it.
Your profile.
Beautiful like that.
Move a little bit to the right.
Beautiful, superb.
Wonderful.
Now sit down.
Sit down in the chair right next to you.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Okay.
Take the glass.
Take the glass, drink it.
Take the glass a little bit more sensual.
Okay, Bravo.
Stand up and being a little bit more erotic, okay?
Move 'round.
And the action?
Oh, that's, that's, yeah that's nice.
I'll tell you what.
Yes.
Listen, I'll be the director of the play, okay,
you're the actress.
All right.
And we'll re-enact a scene.
How's that sound?
Okay.
Now, that's right.
You just sit right over there, okay.
Okay.
So, listen, the whole sense of the scenario
is that you're trying to seduce me, all right?
Hello?
Hello, she's coming upstairs now?
Jesus Christ.
Was that your next appointment?
I'm afraid so.
Okay, well, why don't I just go on into the bedroom.
Okay, hey listen.
Why don't we get together for dinner tonight, huh?
Oh, that would be terrific.
I'd love to.
Okay, yeah.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Good wine, good food, and excellent company.
I just love your hair like that.
Thank you.
That reminds me,
I was completely broke, so I had to charge it to your room.
I hope you don't mind.
That's deductible anyway.
Oh.
But what I'd really like is to have another rehearsal.
You can't be talking
about another un-dress rehearsal.
I just can't wait for opening night.
You know, you're really not right for that role.
What?
The author wanted to some 40-year-old redhead.
Oh, can't the author do a rewrite?
But he's in Paris.
What do you want me to do,
take the concord and fly to Paris?
Yes, I mean, go to Paris, talk to him, convince him.
Yeah, just like that.
I convinced you or didn't I?
Wow, lady, you got a deal.
Really?
Well, in that case, how about a salary advance?
Let's sign the contract now.
Ah.
Obviously you have no intention
of taking my script seriously.
No, listen to me.
The girl's great, got a lot of talent.
I wouldn't use her otherwise.
That kind of talent you buy for 500 francs.
Listen, play your cards right
and I'll see if I can arrange some action for you.
Ah, what I admired of you Mike
is your dedication to art.
You never let a thing like sex influence you.
Just take it easy.
Stay off women just for 10 minutes.
You with anybody?
Can you light me, sailor?
Oh, sure, honey.
Your accent kills me.
You're from New York.
Can I buy you a drink, huh?
A Manhattan in honor of your city.
A Manhattan for the lady and I'll have a Parisian.
I'll have a Parisian in honor of yours.
Did you get that?
A Manhattan and a Parisian.
There.
Thanks.
Good.
I adore you Americans.
You're so much more gentlemanly than Frenchmen.
To Americans.
To chance encounters.
I think your friend needs help.
I love this beat.
Excuse me just a minute, will you?
Hey, Michael.
Hello, darling.
Surely you can't be leaving so soon.
Yep.
Excuse me.
I can't you're still smoking these disgusting things.
The guy's an addict.
They make your kisses taste like heifer.
Cut it out.
What the hell?
The second he sets foot in Paris,
he feels this great urge to show he's mister macho.
You're not together, are you?
Wasting a lovely girl's time like this.
You've lost your goddamn mind.
Keep away from her.
Now stop this ridiculous play acting.
Is he play acting?
Throw those disgusting things away.
Nobody should smoke this foreign legion shit,
but if anyone does, it should be a French girl.
Is he telling the truth about you?
Well, yes, I'm sorry to say he is.
Please try to forgive me.
I'm very sorry.
Pardon moi.
But, that's my pack.
I wrote that.
Who was it?
Jack?
Jack.
Jack sent them.
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