All language subtitles for Party Animals s01e06.eng

You are not gonna get selected.
We'll find out,

because my name's gone forward.

Ashika, they want you.

Everything OK?
No, not OK.

You left the party with Kirsty.
Did you? I didn't shag her.

I was ringing about Danny. Could
you not tell him about that night.

I'm going to go in there
and boast about you (!)

I am announcing my retirement.

Here's to scandal. What about us?
What if all this came out? It won't.

OK, you're right. I was thinking
about my career, my advancement.

I'm a plonker, we know that.

I want to make a difference. I think
another vacancy's in the offing.

This programme contains
strong language.

'The Ministry of Defence has
named the three British soldiers

'killed in an ambush in Afghanistan.
There have been recent allegations

'from relatives that the troops
were overstretched

'following a tour of duty in Iraq.
Mike Marsh is in Sedley,

'where the regiment is based.

'Mike, how might this affect

'the Longton South by-election
taking place there?'

'Well, in a general election, Labour
would be expected to hold this seat

'but with a dynamic young candidate,

'there's a real head of steam being
generated for the Conservatives.

'All the ingredients are here for
an upset,

'and I expect there are a few
jitters in the Labour over this.'

Morning. Jitters?!
They're bricking it!

Tory in Dad's seat,
can you imagine that?

It won't happen. So, you still
working out your notice then?

I'm meeting Stephen
to discuss my future.

Mortgage - keeps a roof
over our heads, remember?

I guess it's easier to go all
Rainbow Warrior

when you're pissed up.

KNOCK AT DOOR
Hello? Room service.

I didn't...

Hang on...

You're supposed to come up
for the public meeting.

Exactly.
Which isn't today.

Oh, no...

I'll kill Matt!

He can't run a diary like you.

Luckily I have to be in Manchester
in a bit.

Being a creature of impulse...
I thought I'd drop in,

surprise you,
and offer some of my experience.

I have been elected to Parliament
on two occasions.

I know about such
matters. I have a campaign manager.

Is he any good? She.

Gloria. Bloody brilliant. So, er,
you don't want my advice then?

Thanks, but I'm doing just fine.

Well, I don't have to be
in Manchester for a bit,

so... how can we kill some time?

Well, you could go and get us
a couple of coffees

and then give me a hand with these.

You sure that's the best...?
Quite sure.

I'll make a start while
you're gone.

Sure.

They're soldiers.
I know, but that doesn't mean...

Soldiers get sent to war zones.

If they didn't want that to
happen,

they should have thought
twice about joining the Army.

This is what happens when
bleeding-heart liberals

get anywhere near power.
Soldiers get shot in wars,

and I don't need a public inquiry
to explain that to me.

The milk of human kindness.

Don't drink it all at once.

Er, these are for you.

Urgh.

He won't get very far with lilies.

What is it?

"I'm going to make you
really suffer, bitch."

It could just be a sick joke, right?

Have you fallen out
with anyone recently, Kirsty?

Split up with a boyfriend, maybe?
No.

Anybody who's been trying it on,

who might be experiencing
a feeling of rejection?

Not... no... well, nobody
I could imagine threatening me.

And no strange, er, texts
or messages prior to this?

Nope.

What about constituents with a
grudge against the office?

I know it
looks as if it was personal, but...

We call this file Fruitcake.

It contains correspondence
from the less... stable...

Freaks and nutters. You'll find
letters accusing Jo Porter

of being an extra-terrestrial.

Do you mind...? Feel free. Great.

Well, you're right, it probably
is nothing,

but just let us know
if anything else happens.

You OK, Kirsty? Fine.
Yeah, the police took a statement.

Good. Keep me posted.

Clem took his first steps at
the weekend. That's brilliant!

Yeah, probably was
if you were there to see it.

Can you bring me Nurofen and water -
I've got a splitting head.

Tomorrow's the first big public
meeting,

where I'll go head to head
with the other candidates.

It's a real chance
to make an impact.

The two main issues will be
the tragic deaths

of our troops in Afghanistan

and the question of planning
permission for a new local mosque.

So that you know for canvassing
purposes,

I shall be in favour of
planning permission for the mosque.

Any concerns?
I'm happy to take questions.

No?

Good. Thanks, everyone.

You sure?

About what?

This mosque business.

Quite sure. You don't have to be in
favour of it. I AM in favour of it.

The old mosque is falling to bits,
the Imam's a decent, moderate guy.

There's no debate, they need a new
mosque.

Er, there is a debate,
actually, quite a heated one.

Your stance will just make you
unnecessary enemies.

Anyway, you're not a Muslim. So?

Well, nothing to gain,
a lot to lose.

More to lose from being an
opportunist.

The Women's Institute
are asking again... Not a chance.

You could just make something up.
It's condescending crap.

I'm going to put on a sari and
cook a curry for their evening.

Come on, don't be a killjoy.

surely you must have
a rogan josh up your sleeve?

It's just meant to be the
first recipe

your mum taught you.
Is that really so offensive?

I'm not pandering
to their stupid stereotypes.

My mum's a teacher,
not Madhur Jaffrey.

Teachers can't cook?
Can you stay out of this?

OK. But some of them work for you,

and it might sugar the pill
of the mosque. No.

Thanks for your advice

but you're going to have to give me
some space. Just... back off.

Fine. Thank you.

More pastry tsunami than pie.

So...

I crept in at the back for your
presentation

on Home Office structure.
I saw. What d'you think?

A bit glib.

Our clients pay a lot of money -
they might ask for more than glib.

"Desperately boring topic
leavened with a little humour"

would be my description.
Yes.

The menu did say this was

Eileen's special steak and Guinness
pie? That's right.

Pop up to the bar and ask Eileen
to put some steak and Guinness in

with this puff pastry.

We could have gone to a restaurant.

Your rehabilitation
hasn't gone quite that far.

So, you're sick of your job?

I wouldn't say that. You should have
a change of scenery perhaps.

How's your fish and chips?
It's pub food, it's fine.

What do you mean "change of
scenery"?

The Labour campaign up in Sedley
is in deep shit.

What's that got to do with us?

The party have asked if I can think
of anybody

who wants a sabbatical to
breathe life back into the campaign.

I hate to flatter you,
but they mentioned you by name. Me?

Your dad, your knowledge of the
constituency, your undoubted talents

when you decide something's worthy
of your attention. What about...

Make up your pay at bonus time.

Then we can review
your long-term position.

Bag this up for me, would you?

We might need it as evidence later.

It's an escape route. It's just what
I need. The party asked for you?

Yeah, but it's not a done deal.

They're waiting on the next meeting
and counting the polls.

Why you, though?
What do you mean, why me?

I understand the constituency,
my dad used to be the MP,

I have
finely-tuned political antennae...

You fancy the Tory candidate.

I can get Sullivan elected, Danny.
I can run that campaign.

Everyone's a winner, including you,
Mr Freeloader.

Well, go for it. Gonna check out
the lie of the land first.

Tell me it isn't true.
Sophie Montgomery!

You get a nosebleed in a postcode
that doesn't have a W in it!

This is no laughing matter, Scott.

Who are all these badly-dressed
people?

They're the working classes.
I've told you about them, remember?

Oh, so THAT'S what they look like!

Yeah. What are you doing here
anyway?

The party may call on my lobbying
skills to assist the campaign.

I love the smell of desperation!

Come on.

Let's go and watch your
Labour candidate

do his impression
of wallpaper glue.

OK, Graham Sullivan for Labour.

The two questions were,
"First, to what extent

"do you think our soldiers are not
getting the support that they need?

"And second, what is your opinion
on the subject of the new mosque

"planned for Elworthy Street?"

In politics,
tough choices have to be made.

But I do know that this government
would never send our soldiers

into any conflict zone unprepared.

Now, on the subject of the mosque,
it's... A tough choice?

LAUGHTER

It's not a decision the MP
would, or indeed should, make.

I would not seek to influence the
planning process one way or another.

SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE

Ashika Chandiramani
for the Conservatives.

I notice Mr Sullivan didn't mention
the names of the dead soldiers.

Do you remember their names, Graham?

I'm not seeking to embarrass you,
it's fair enough if you don't -

they were only released by the MOD
yesterday morning.

The soldiers lost
were Bradley Snype, Jamie Taylor

and Sid Akram.

None was more important than the
other,

they were all beloved sons
and young men with a sense of duty.

But I want to consider for a moment,

if I may,
Lance Corporal Sid Akram.

His full name was actually
Sajid Akram. A Muslim.

And by all accounts, a highly
popular soldier and doting father.

I would say that Sajid's parents
have the right to mourn their son -

a man who gave his life
for this country -

at a place of worship
where the roof isn't falling in.

So it's really that simple.

The mosque will be a tribute
to Sid Akram,

and by extension, to all those

putting their lives at risk
fighting on our behalf.

Forgive me, but are you a Muslim?

That question really does you
no credit whatsoever,

but for the record, no, I'm not.

My family are Hindu,
but that doesn't stop me delivering

an honest answer on the mosque.

I am in favour of planning
permission

and I hope that
the council will do the right thing

and not bow to the pressure
of those with a hidden agenda

which serves ignorance and racism.

Well done.

It was only Round One.
Oh, you landed some heavy punches.

I should be getting back to London.
Yeah.

I'm sorry about earlier.

It just takes some getting used to.

You're not "my girl" any more,
are you? No.

Are you happy with the way things
went back there? And you are...?

Scott Foster. Frank Foster's...

Yes, I knew your dad.

"Are you a Muslim?"
I was caught off guard.

I've been asked to come in and help
out a bit.

I believe the phrase used
was "sprinkle some pixie dust".

Not my words. I've been a member
of the local party for 30 years.

Served on the council.
Been through it all.

'79, '83, '87. In '92,

I sat by the radio weeping,
as the results came in.

This is very moving... Now
they tell me I need some fucking

pixie dust! Like I say...

Here's an idea. Why don't the party
leadership

announce that we're
going to carpet-bomb Damascus

and sell peerages in Tesco's. Then
you can sprinkle pixie dust on it.

I knew your dad, Scott.
He was a good man,

but frankly
you're not on the same page,

you're not even in the same library.

I don't need some flashy little
lobbyist to run my campaign.

It's the last thing I need. If you'd
only shown some of that passion...

Oh, fuck off.

I think I know who it is.

Helen Casey...

Messy divorce.
Her ex-husband Michael

was mixed up
with Fathers for Justice.

What makes you think...?
His e-mail topic was "what a creep".

I wrote that in an e-mail to her

when he refused to pay maintenance
for the kids.

How do you know he's seen it? He
breaks into the house frequently,

and in spite of an injunction.

"Stay out of my life
if you don't want me in yours."

I know it's him, Danny.

What's he like?

Softly-spoken psycho.

Genius at hiding his income.
What an arsehole.

Plenty of brothers in arms.

Do you know how many women
are killed

by a current
or former partner? Two a week.

I forgot it was you
I was talking to.

You could have pretended
not to know.

Do you want
the injury figures? Hmm...

I found a dead bird on my doorstep
this morning.

What, and you think...
Could have just been a cat.

But that's how they operate.

You're so frightened, you don't know
what's a real threat and what isn't.

Have you told the police?

They say maybe somebody
should walk me to my door.

I mean, who's going
to wanna do that every night?

I love a retro hotel.

It's got a kind of feeling to it
that's quite...

1972 Romania?
Funny girl.

Did I say something
about a poisoned chalice, Scott?

Sullivan is seriously sub-standard.

Mmm, why do you think
they brought YOU in?

What do you mean? You're a
specialist at selling shoddy goods.

This time you just have to do it
to a gullible electorate.

You're a salesman, Scott.

Sub-standard... it's what you do.

Great. Thanks.

Cheer up. You do it very well.

I suppose, if you weren't
a journalist,

you could do
just about anything, couldn't you?

Raid the trust fund
and start your own chinchilla farm.

Ah, so much class-hatred.

It's not that... Not JUST that.

What do I do if you're right,
and my job is just a crock of shit?

Or what do you do if you're just
too frightened of losing?

Pretty sharp for a posh bird,
aren't ya?

Nothing.

No. Oh, wait a moment, here she is.

It's Danny.

Yes.

Well, it wasn't in the diary.
It WASN'T in the diary.

If it HAD been, I would be standing
with you now.

Make sure you put it
in the diary next time

and draft an apology letter
when you get in.

Danny, you still there?
Yeah, I'll see you in a bit.

So what's happening?

Well, we've spoken to Helen Casey.

And? And she had another break-in
a week or so ago.

Her files
and her computer were stolen.

He'll have read my e-mails.

My colleague has spoken
to Michael Casey too.

Very charming and convincing man
apparently.

Helen Casey thinks Mr Charming And
Convincing won't rest

until he's killed
her and possibly the children.

He's upset about the divorce.

You should arrest him.
On what grounds?

Oh, let's see. Maybe repeatedly
breaking his injunction?

Or for being a twat who should pay
his wife some maintenance

before
dressing up in a Batman outfit

and squealing about his rights.
You had any other incidents?

Some cabs turning up
that I didn't order.

Phone calls.

At night. Anything said?

Somebody laughing.

But... the cabs show
that he knows my address.

Where's Jo? Gone. Again!

Right, let's have a look... It's
not there, the meeting she missed.

Maybe you didn't put it in the
diary.

I always print a copy
of her diary.

I did this yesterday.
Look, it's here.

She's gone in and deleted it
afterwards to save face.

Fucking hell, Jo, get a grip.

You think I should say something?

If you want to lose your head.
Maybe if it's done in the right way.

Maybe we could do it together.

No way. I'm not putting
my career on the line to tell Jo

she's got a drink problem.

Mind if I ask you something?

Not at all.
Doesn't mean I'll answer it.

Well, you're quite exercised about
your career, right?

You don't try
and hide that's what matters to you.

So? So why do this?

Why not something more lucrative,
with more possibilities?

But Danny,
what about the children,

what about making poverty history?

You're smart, you're articulate,

you could do well in PR.
Look at Scott.

No, thanks. I would have thought
that the corporate stuff...

Then you'd be wrong. PR?!

Thanks a lot, Danny.
You have such a low opinion of me.

I don't.

You gonna walk me
all the way to my door?

Of course.

It's weird, you know, I feel
perfectly safe when you're around.

Why's that weird?
I'm a fucking nutter when I'm angry!

We should have a child together.

Your commitment, my drive.
She'd rule the world. Or he.

She.

PHONE RINGS

Yep?

Who?

Oh. Yeah. Um...

tell him I'll be down in a minute.

'So what's really been happening
in London?'

'Um, weather's weird...'

Tempers and house prices
are rising...

More and more kids are riding bikes

on the pavement,
which I fucking hate.

I miss you. James misses you.

It's a gay bar! Yeah, I googled it.

No disrespect to your constituency,
but a Poof towing a Paki...

Come on,
there's still some seats at the bar.

That question really does you
no credit whatsoever, but for the...

"Forgive me but are you a Muslim?"

DOOR OPENS

Where you been?

Walking Kirsty home. Why?

Some nutter's been threatening her.

Why on earth would anyone want
to hurt Kirsty?

Why are you always slagging her off?

I dunno. Maybe cos she's a bitch?
Hey! Don't say that. Wake up, Danny.

She's scheming, she's shallow,

she's dishonest,
she's a careerist...

Uh, impressions gained
from how many meetings?

Enough. Yeah, well, they're
qualities

that don't normally bother you.

Kind of strange that you find them
so disapproving in Kirsty.

How's that, Scott?

Have you eaten my sausages?
What?

You heard.
No, I have not eaten your sausages.

I don't even like sausages,
which you know fine well.

Well, somebody's eaten them.

I've told you before, do not
just take stuff out of the fridge.

You live here rent-free,

it's not too much to ask you to nip
out and get your own food. Shut up!

I haven't been
anywhere near your poxy sausages!

I was gonna have those for tea
tomorrow night.

I never touched them!

Oh...look...
there's your stupid sausages,

right at the front of the fridge.

Now, where's my apology?
Sorry, Danny!

I was just being...

stupid.

So, are you going to take
the by-election offer? I dunno.

Where's your enthusiasm gone?

I just, you know, thought I might be
doing something worthwhile...

not just selling the human
equivalent

of Quorn to the lumpen proletariat.

You've got to stop thinking small.
What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you have to work that one out
for yourself.

What's this -
Lord Of The fucking Rings?!

What do you mean "thinking small"?
Off to bed.

I don't even like sausages. You see,
they put the pig's lips in them.

Good night.

He really fancied you...
He did not.

He fancied you. He was very pretty.
Little game-playing slut.

I'm going back for him. I could live
with a threesome...

No! Oh, you're
so boring when you're not drinking.

Can't be hungover tomorrow,
I'm afraid.

They wanted me to dress up in a
traditional outfit

and cook a curry
for the Women's Institute? So?

What do you mean?! Don't you think

that's really patronising?
Well, a bit naff, maybe

but not the Final Solution
or anything.

I think it's really offensive.
Do you really?

What do you mean? Well, do you
really find it offensive

or do you just think you should
find it offensive?

No! I think...
My mum's a bit like those women.

She uses expressions like
"coloured person" and "half-caste".

I can't tell her I'm gay,
although she knows.

But she gives a tenner a month so
a child in Africa can go to school.

We don't want to turn
into one of those

hysterical fags,
shrieking, "Hate crime!"

every time somebody pushes in
front of them at the bus stop.

Morning.

Bit thin on the ground today?
Yes.

Something wrong?
Well,

how do you think your attempts

to win friends and influence people
here are going?

How do you mean?
Supporting the mosque.

OK, it brings in the Muslim vote,
and you defended it brilliantly.

Then refusing the WI invitation.

I suppose I can see
how you might find it patronising.

Then, last night you were seen drunk
in a gay bar... I was not drunk.

But it all adds up. In the end,
it makes you seem

as if
you're sticking two fingers up

to the people you want to put you
in office.

I wasn't drunk. The
bar... I can't go into a gay bar?!

These people have come a long way
already.

Don't rub their noses in it.

Oh, come on.

This isn't London! This is a local
Conservative Association

in a middle-sized provincial town.

It's how it looks to the people

who are pounding the doorsteps
on your behalf.

That's what counts. Excuse me, I've
got damage limitation work to do.

What's that? It's multi-cultural day
at Clem's nursery tomorrow.

OK.

Montessori. Each month they have to
dress up as a different nationality.

Last time I made him nothing,
of course,

because we were right in
the middle of Strategic Review.

Guess what it is this month?

Well, as you're making a fez,
I'm guessing...

Turkey?

Brazil. Maybe a football shirt

and some goofy teeth
would be less time-consuming.

Every parent will be sending their
kid in as Ronaldinho.

I want to do
something original, make an effort.

And the straws and flowers
and grapes are...

Carmen Miranda.

Oooh, you want a hand? I'm OK.

Shit.

Jo...

Yeah?

Er, there's no easy way to say this,

but I think you're drinking
a bit too much.

Is that so?

Not like it's serious or anything,
but I've noticed, you know,

during the day sometimes.

Been counting my units, have you?

No.

I'm working all the hours God sends.

I never see my son
unless he's asleep.

We've got a part-time nanny now and
he already knows her better than me.

He can say stuff in Macedonian,
but not "Mummy".

I understand. You don't understand.

If you understood, you wouldn't
be sat there, right now,

reading me a sermon about the one
thing

that just about keeps my head
above water.

I'm sorry if it sounded brutal.

I just, I felt an obligation
to say something.

Well, you've said it. Thanks, Danny,

your conscience is clear, so
bugger off and let me finish this.

OK.

Sorry.

Well, thanks, that was enlightening.

Pleasure. I'll talk to my editor
about it this afternoon.

Just out of interest,
what did George actually do

to warrant his sudden departure?

No comment. Because, you know,

sudden resignations like that
just make me curious.

Think it'll be sunny at the weekend?
I promised the boys a picnic.

Rent boys.

Yes or no?

You think George is that unoriginal?

Well, no, not really.

Or that way inclined, to be honest.

But a sex scandal at least?

My wife and I strongly disagree

on hard-boiled eggs
as a picnic comestible.

What's your take on it?

Right.

Your girl's doing rather well in
Longton South. She's not my girl.

I hear Labour are drafting in fresh
blood to kick-start their campaign.

Oh, who?

Well, word on the street is
that it's Scott Foster.

The lobbyist you introduced me to?

He met Ashika first, though.
What?

I'm just saying.
He met Ashika first.

Yes, but why are you saying it
like that?

Hard-boiled eggs get my vote
for a picnic.

But make sure you
chill them in icy water.

Stops that nasty black line
from forming.

CAR ENGINE STARTS

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

Danny!

Here? Just till the morning.

Her stalker has super-glued
her front door.

Hasn't she got any mates?

Yeah. Me.

Why don't they just arrest this guy?

Cos cops are useless fuckers
who have to wait until a woman dies.

..commented a source
close to the Home Office(!)

I'm gonna get some beers.
You want anything?

More super-glue
for our lock. Don't be like that.

Be nice to her.

That's YOUR job.

Ashika ever mention Scott Foster
to you?

Er... no, why?

Oh, nothing. Just going through
some lobbying contacts.

Good night, Matt.
Yeah, see you tomorrow.

Hi, Mum, it's me.

Yeah, I know I was on the telly.

Listen, don't laugh, right?

I need your help with a recipe.

I said don't laugh!

Tell Dad to shut up!

Seriously, tell him to shut up!

Thank you.

Something really easy.

Yeah.

I DO cook! I'm just saying make it
easy so I can re-create it.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Why do you never take
your keys, Danny?

Hello, Scott.

Danny's at the shop. And you want me
to sit outside until he gets back?

Somebody super-glued my front door.
I heard.

Oh, I'm all right, stop fussing(!)

Danny said that I could sleep
on the sofa tonight.

Is that a problem for you?
Why should it be?

Well, you know, I might get so
deranged with lust during the night

that I crawl to your bed
and hurl myself on your cock.

Again.

You haven't said anything to him,
have you? No.

He'd be devastated.

We can't have that.

He really likes you, Kirsty.
And I really like him.

Not in the same way, though.

That's none of
your business, really.

I don't want him to get hurt.

Conscience kicked in
a little late, though.

Hey, Kirsty! You want a beer, Scott?

Yeah, but I'll take mine next door
though.

Ta. Kirsty, you'll have to excuse
me - I've got some packing to do.

Really, Scott? What for?

I'm going up north tomorrow.

Got to give my answer

on whether or not I'm going
to take on the Sullivan campaign.

You are, though? You're going
to do it? I'm still considering.

So, guys, I'll love you and leave
you.

Kirsty, I'll leave you
a clean towel in the bathroom.

You're such a gentleman(!)

You told him, then.

The Milky Bar Kid.

What's his name again?

DC Harmison.

Yes, I have.
Good.

He's useless,
but you must keep a record.

You can have my room tonight,
by the way.

No, I'll be fine on the sofa.

Well, my bed's quite big,
so I suppose we could both...

Sofa's fine. Honestly, Danny.
Right.

Mmm, morning.

Sleep well?

Mm, like a log.
Tea or coffee?

Coffee, please.

There is toast and Marmite.

Or, there is...

toast...

without Marmite.

With, please.
I'll just take a shower.

'..Conservative candidate
has urged the Lib Dems

'not to waste their vote

'and use it instead to really punish
the government

'for its conduct of the war.

'Later we'll also be looking at
the disturbing disaffection

'with the main political parties

'from white working-class voters.

'Why the BNP is gaining
so much ground

'will be addressed by
our political correspondent...'

Canvas returns
making interesting reading.

What about the military estates?

Better than we'd expected.
Ditto the Muslim wards.

That's where we'll apply the squeeze
on them,

hit their traditional vote.

But you're doing less well
in the more affluent pockets

where we'd normally expect your base
to be.

I'll do the Women's Institute
thing. Oh, OK!

But I'm not dressing up.

I'm sure they can live with that.
My mum's giving me a recipe.

I'll need lamb
and a lot of chickpeas.

Just write everything down.

How close do you think we are?
If the election were held tomorrow,

I'd say far too close to call
right now. All right.

You don't just need the votes,

these women are our infantry on the
doorstep. I do appreciate it.

And you were right to pull
me up on it. Good. Thanks.

You might be surprised -
some of the ladies

can be good fun
after a few sherries.

Oh, I bet. Which one of them
saw me in the gay bar?

Somebody outside asking for you.

Who is it?
Says he's a party supporter,

but he wants to ask you one question
before he'll give you his vote.

Why ARE you a Tory, Ashika?

Scott. Yes. You gonna tell me what
you're actually doing here now?

This is a place of lost innocence
for me.

So how do you feel about the chance
of it having its first Tory MP

in 20-odd years?
Pretty relaxed.

You want to check
our canvas returns then.

Want to come for a drive?
No. Yeah, you do. I'm busy.

This is work. Kind of.
Come on, I need to talk to you.

School discos were here.

CeCe Peniston, EMF...

# You're unbelievable! #

Bit of Crowded House
for the old snogging. Yeah.

And I lost my virginity
after one of those discos.

With? Mandy Thomas.

How old?

Thirteen. Nah! Yeah.

And Mandy was sixteen as well,
so that was a result.

Slag. That's a bit sexist.
I meant you, obviously.

She had massive knockers.

We used to ping her bra.
They say class is permanent.

Wonder if she's on Friends Reunited.

Well, make the most of your little
trip down memory lane

cos the Education Department
are going to sell off

the playing fields.
What?! That's outrageous.

They're going to improve the sports
facilities of three schools.

All-weather pitch, floodlighting,
makes sense to me.

You used to be able to wander back,
now kids are gonna...

It makes a difference cos kids are
going to have to get buses back now.

Well, they're building a private
nursing home and a new gym here.

Who's behind this?

The Hadway Group. Oh,
I fucking might have guessed.

Guessed what? Their CEO,
Greg Hadway.

Refused to meet the widows of men
killed on his construction sites.

I don't know his reasons for that.

But they provide employment and make
large contributions to charity.

Oh, charity, mmm! It's not
a dirty word.

I bet they donate
very generously to you as well.

They can give your party all the
pretty faces

and wind turbines
they want,

but the people behind you are just
the same.

God, I hate Tories.
That's rich, coming from you.

Your party's so rotten and corrupt,
it can't even put on a pretty face.

Even when it's lying to Parliament

and whoring itself about
for donations. Thinking small.

You got that right, Danny. What?
My brother.

He said I was thinking small. Well,
I don't know what he's on about

but it wouldn't be out of character.
I need to go, Scott. No problem.

Caught the stalker yet?

What is it?

Er, last night, Michael Casey
broke into the house of his family

when they were sleeping
and, er, he set it on fire.

The neighbours managed to get in

and rescued the mother
and one of the kids...

..but they're both in hospital.

Helen Casey's got pretty serious
burns

because she went back in.
Back in?

To save the little girl,
the toddler...

She's having skin grafts now.

And Michael Casey? Is badly burned
also, and under arrest in hospital.

That is terrible. I sat with
the little girl, Lauren, on my knee,

when I went to their house.

She kept playing with my necklace
and laughing.

I'm really sorry.

How could you do that?
How could you hate somebody so much

that you'd burn your own baby?

And why didn't you protect her?

How was he allowed to do that?
You should have protected her.

You just stood and let it happen!

You don't want me running your
campaign. What gave you that idea(?)

But you NEED me running your
campaign. We're doing fine.

You're really not. But it's not
all your fault... Very big of you.

The government is massively
unpopular and lagging in the polls.

The Tories have got a very good
candidate.

Lib Dem vote isn't holding up
at all to divide the opposition.

So everything's sliding to the Tory,

whose metropolitan manners and
ambiguous stance on the war

sits
nicely with them. And the good news?

Not yet. The BNP is starting to
rally on the estates,

eroding even
further the traditional Labour vote,

our activists detest what's going on
with regard the current

leadership battle,
they're sulking at home,

and to really stick the cherry on
the cake,

you're a total fucking
donkey.

Well...

Can't you put any spin
on that one, doctor?

Not really. You were an
embarrassment in that debate.

You roll over like that again,
you're finished.

We'll have a Tory MP. Unless
you sprinkle some pixie dust?

Give it up with the pixie dust -
it wasn't my phrase.

I'll get you elected, though. How?

We'll turn your vices into virtues.

We'll start by turning
that Tory inside out, though.

She's cocky and she's naive

and she's had a far too easy ride
of it so far.

You cannot be all things
to all people,

and she'll learn that the hard way.

But you have to decide
whether you want me here.

If you don't, I'll respect that.
You might find a couple of virtues.

Local party didn't choose me
for nothing.

Well, let's hope so.
Like I say, it's your choice.

I've seen you once before.

You and your little brother.

David?
Danny.

I went to your house to see your
dad

during an industrial dispute
among college lecturers.

You were about ten, and your little
brother was crying

because
you'd eaten all your sweets

and then taken the ones
that he was saving off him.

See? Alpha-male.

Not when your dad shouted at you.

You cried much louder than Danny.
Danny was always his favourite.

Yes, there's something
of the mummy's boy about you.

So what's the answer then?

Thought I'd better come
and formally introduce myself.

What are you on about? The party
have asked me

to run the Labour
campaign here. I've accepted.

Well, well. Don't want there to be
any hard feelings at the end.

Hope we can still remain courteous
towards each other.

Courteous.

You really think you can beat me,
don't you? Absolutely.

Bring it on, Scott.
Oh, I'm looking forward to it.

Oh, so am I.

Bloody lunatic.

We're lucky he didn't
attack Kirsty too.

You OK?

What you said about my drinking.
Look, I...

If I moan, it looks just like "Oh,
she can't handle it." I understand.

But sometimes it is hard to handle.

This job, home, Iain, a baby.

It's very hard sometimes, Danny.
Maybe if you talked to someone?

I'm talking to you, aren't I?

Yeah, but maybe someone...

else.

It was all pre-meditated, Danny.

No spur of the moment thing,
no crime of passion.

From the bird on my doorstep,

to buying the petrol
to burn his children.

He planned it all because
he hated his ex-wife so much.

It's hard to understand.

There are a lot of men who
hate women and want to hurt them.

You want me to go home
with you tonight?

Walk you to your door?

There's no risk now, is there?

No, but just
if you wanted the company.

Why not. For old time's sake, then.

COMPUTER BLEEPS

Still think I'd make a good PR girl?

What, I never meant... One day,
I want to be a Cabinet Minister.

Oh, you do?

You want to be where
the real decisions are made.

Not sitting at the back of the plane
next to the toilets.

I'm a careerist, Danny,
what's wrong with that?

This is the career I want.
Minister for Women?

Ooh, still with the low opinion?!

Chancellor, at least.

So, you sure you're OK now?

I'm fine.

Thank you.
That's OK.

See you tomorrow.
Yeah.

Scott?! Yo, Gandalf. Riddle me
this... What's up with you?

Thinking big. Come on - group hug.
Get lost, I'm asleep!

No means yes, Daniel, you little
tease.

Come here, you gorgeous thing
with your giant fringe!

Is it a crime for two brothers
to go at it like...?

Fuck off, Scott! I'm gonna do it,
and it calls for something important

to mark the momentous day I decided
to save Dad's seat.

Not... Oh, yeah.
You're gonna play the song!

It calls for the song, Danny.
It calls for the song!

Yes! We're gonna go back to 1983!

Dad went on Desert Island Discs and
chose this. Remember him dancing?

You laughed so hard,
you wet yourself.

I didn't actually wet myself.
Yes, you did. Here we go...

MUSIC: 'Walls Come Tumbling Down'
by Style Council

# Do-do-do...
Do-do-do...

# Do-do-do, dooooo

# You don't have to take this crap

# You don't have to sit back
And relax

# You can actually try
Changing it

# I know we've always been taught
To rely

# Upon those in authority
But you never know until you try

# How things just might be
If we came together so strongly

# Are you gonna try
To make this work

# Or spend your days
Down in the dirt?

# You see things can change
Yes and walls can come tumbling down

# Governments crack and systems fall

# Cos unity is powerful

# Lights go out
Walls come tumbling down. #

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