All language subtitles for Party Animals s01e05.eng

You're employed to exert
influence on our clients' behalf,

I don't see the problem.

I never said what your dad
would have made

of what you do for a living,
he would have hung his head.

I've seen you at parties.
What does that mean?

You have a wandering eye.

Watch out for rumours, James.
There's gonna be a by-election.

They wanna know if
I'll go forward for selection.

Ashika, they want you.

So do I have your permission?
Me?

Yeah, well it's your
dad's old constituency.

You like her, don't you?
Hey, shut up! You like her!

I think you're right.

Er, that we make a good team.

Do you... wanna get out of here?

This programme contains
some strong language.

SIREN WAILS OUTSIDE

Listen, erm...

Yeah.

Do you want to shower first?

Er, no, no, I'll get one at mine,
at my place.

Listen, about this...

Yeah, I've got a 9.30.

Shit!

Shit!

TELEPHONE RINGS

Jo Porter's office.

Did I even congratulate
you last night?

Erm...

What a plonker!
Well, congratulations.

Belated congratulations.

Jo Porter's office.
As you heard,

16-year-old Wayne Dewsbury was found
dead in his cell this morning

at the Bodley Young
Offenders' Institute...

No comment at this time.

..the victim of a knife attack
by his cell mate.

We're drawing up a response.

Bodley is one of the Government's
showcase private youth prisons

so the spotlight now falls on...

Not until the details are clear.

Who's taking you to the Winter Ball?

I wasn't planning on going.

Only because I said I'd ask.

My father-in-law wants to meet you,
the redoubtable Lord Blakely.

For "redoubtable" read
"Alzheimer's".

Why does he want to meet me?

He likes to stay in touch
with the party developments,

keep tabs on up and comers.

Probably ask you where you
stand on the Suez crisis.

You don't have to go,
I can make an excuse.

Renewed focus this morning on
the findings of the Heinz Report...

Jo, it's Danny again.

Jo, you have to call me.
We need a response to this,

you have to call me soon.

I don't know if
I've got anything to wear.

I thought you'd feel that way.

Might be for the best.
How?

Well, just...
You'd rather I wasn't there.

No, the way he imagines he
can summons people to his side.

Do him good to be blown out.

Yeah, maybe I will go. Good. Fine.

Maybe I'll take the morning off, go
buy myself a frock. OK, you should.

Relax, James, I know
we're up to our eyes.

She is wanted in Whitehall now.
Where is she?

Chiropractors. It's in the diary.

We want this defused before
lunchtime news interviews.

Get someone round there now.

OK, Jo, this is getting serious.

Where the fuck were you?
Tubes. Sorry. Not you, Jo.

Call me. Stupid Northern Line.
Jesus Christ, I've been here alone.

This young offenders
institution killing is going mad.

Someone got killed in a young
offenders' institute?

That's terrible.

RINGING CONTINUES

Jo's private youth
prison initiative?

Erm, what do you want me to do?
Get Jo.

Go and get her. Get a taxi.
Drag her out of bed if you have to.

Arrrgh!

Scott Foster. I need to talk
to you about last night.

LOUD WHIRRING
I don't think it's...

Yeah, Kirsty, look,
I had a really nice time.

What? I'm sorry, I just think
with things the way they are

with Danny and everything...

Don't apologise, I couldn't hear
you.

Are you OK? Of course I'm OK.

I just think it's best this way.

Yeah?

Oh, you dick!

No need to ask why you're
40 minutes late.

Miss some sleep?

Yeah, funny that. I start drifting
off then I get these visions

of Russian gangsters coming
after me with concrete mixers.

Perhaps we are better off
sans that particular portfolio!

You think?

Let's talk about today.

I'm going to be interviewing
for a new recruit.

Jake's job. Jake's job.

Tragic but... it created a vacancy.

We need to fill it.

I'd like you to sit in.

Give the candidates a once-over.

Sniff out any idealists.

People looking to change
the world through lobbying?

I'd also like your second
opinion on the cut of their jib.

If they're wearing the right
shoes,

that kind of thing.
Kick off's 10.30ish.

Turn on the television, Matt.

# It's time to come
And play with the Tweenies... #

Yeah, News 24?

It becomes increasingly obvious

that Jo Porter is not
up to her brief...

Explain.

He thinks we can get a
resignation out of this.

OK, couple of points.
One, I know that.

And George isn't supposed
to take her out, I am.

When something like this breaks,
you make sure James Northcote

is the first name people hear, not
sitting watching the Tweenies!

Do you understand? Yeah.

DOOR SLAMS

Orange juice, pain au chocolat
and a skinny latte.

Three shots.

Hey, good birthday party.

How are you feeling? Yeah, fine.

I told the Whip's office
you were at the chiropractors.

What? I though that courier who
hit you, you could say your back...

You gonna forge a note
from my mum for me as well?

I'll think up my
own excuses, thanks.

You want to play Nurse Betty,
why don't you tend to Kirsty?

She's looking a bit
the worse for wear herself.

Heard she left with your brother,
might explain it.

The kid that was killed,
what was he in for?

Where did you hear that? I don't
think they did leave together.

Did they?

What was he in for?

The victim? Don't call him that.

Er, taking and driving away.

What, once? And the killer?

Kayin Ashodi.

Not an asylum seeker,
not an asylum seeker.

Second generation,
ABH, GBH, aggravated burglary...

Oh, God. We're going to
need previous convictions.

Get down his local police station.
The victim's?

What did I just say to you?

Any cautions, violence,
or anything sexual is good.

If he ran into the girls'
changing rooms at PE, we can use it.

Jesus, Jo!
You want me to smear a dead bloke?

Do you want the Home Secretary
to resign over this?

No. It's, it's just... Do you
want me to resign over this? No.

Then I suggest you take the next 30
seconds

to grow up because after
that we're killing this story.

You can "Jesus, Jo" me tomorrow.

That's if we've still got a job.

You're not the first candidate
from BMD we've seen.

Something of a
sinking ship scenario over there?

I couldn't possibly comment.

Says here you worked on
the anti-landmines campaign.

Pretty much directed it,
that's correct.

Must've been a challenge? Right.

As long as you've got the RAF
dropping cluster bombs in Iraq.

Yeah I don't really... I suppose
in the end you're going head-to-head with British arms manufacturers?

It was three months. Charity gig.
MOBILE RINGS

HE CHUCKLES
Looks good on the CV.

Excuse me.

Important.

Aha!

I was just about to die of boredom.

Yeah, people always think
that when they talk to me.

It's the contrast.

So how are you fixed for
stimulating nights out?

I'm sure I could make space.

Conservative Winter Ball?

Maybe not. Don't be so partisan.

You're thinking posh, objectionable
boys and their fat sisters? Yeah.

Think posh, objectionable
young men and their model wives.

We're rejuvenated. Congratulations.

The thing is... I'm short a date.

Oh, come on. You owe me.

Yeah, the fix up with James
Northcote, no strings sex,

and it will look great with
your boss, schmoozing Tories.

We like to be schmoozed.

Good boy.

I don't want to be seen
with any of those

"acceptable
face of Conservatism" bints.

Any of those come near me,
I want you by my side.

I'll pack my baseball bat.

Have you got anything
on this Dewsbury kid?

Terrific.

So I'm going on lunchtime telly with
"we deeply regret this incident".

Still, I should know better
than to expect anything from you

with your scruples and you
with your post-orgasmic haze.

So d'you get a bit
wasted last night then?

I suppose.

What time did you head home?

Did you get a taxi in the end?

What did Jo say to you?

She said that you and
Scott might've, um... left?

Do you think Jo's breath
smells of mint

because she was
up all night eating mints?

You are so naive.

Jo went absent without leave
and now she's shitting herself.

It's called deflection.

I didn't shag your brother.
Smear story.

Same thing you're supposed to
do with this young offender.

MOBILE RINGS

Scott Foster. Hey.
Hi, Kirsty.

I think Danny might be onto us.

Er, look, Kirsty,

we had a really nice time together.

I mean, it was great but, um,

I really don't think we should
be thinking in terms of an "us".

And you know I really like you.

TELEPHONE RINGS
Could you hold the line one second?

Scott Foster.

It's me.

All right?

Er... I need to ask you a question

and I need for you to
give me an honest answer.

Yeah, yeah, with this
whole dead boy thing.

Jo's going off on one.

Seven different kinds of
shit hitting the fan.

And you wanna pick my brains?

Jo Porter's got TV crews
queuing up on St Stephen's Green.

I was thinking I could
jump up

and down behind her
and wave my arms in the air.

What do you think? James.
What would the Tweenies say?

James,
I've got you a solo spot on BBC.

Radio.

Radio's better, they'll quote
it for the rest of the day.

I'll tell you what radio is, Ashika.
Radio is pretty bloody average.

Lord Heinz's report,
if you'll allow me,

Lord Heinz's report is a very
complex document recommending

across the board reform
on how this country deals

with its young offenders.

How many of his recommendations
have been implemented?

No-one would expect those changes
to be brought in over night.

But how many of his recommendations
have been implemented?

As I've told you, Lord Heinz's
report is a complex document...

Entertain the possibility
she might have a point.

If you think it through, what she's
asking isn't unreasonable.

She knows people will swallow
this story spoonful at a time

until she can come up with
something they'll spit out.

By smearing a dead kid?

Jo's not paying you
to be Jiminy Cricket.

Politicians have consciences all
of their own.

Why do you think
they're always in a bad mood?

You're supposed to be onside,

smile and tell her she's doing
the right thing.

Right.

OK.

OK. How?

Well, tell me what you think of him,
Wayne Dewsbury.

Bit of a tearaway, got locked up,

wrong place, wrong time.

I don't know, he's dead.

I feel sorry for him.
OK, change it.

What would make you
lose your sympathy?

Maybe he was a hoodie who mugged a
granny.

Except he didn't mug a granny.
Someone in a wheelchair.

He didn't mug anyone.
Where was he from? Bermondsey.

White bloke, South East London,
what does that say to you? Nothing.

Racist. Oh, I knew you
were going to say that.

We should not be
making this about racism.

It's already is. We don't know
what happened in that cell.

Maybe the Black kid was goaded,
scared, maybe it was self defence.

It just sounds a bit like bollocks.

Well, we might just
have to go with bollocks.

I'm not comfortable with this.

I'll get you a cushion.

We have to do something. Jo said.

MOBILE RINGS

Yes. Remember Lawrence Flynn?
No.

Tabloid hack,
talked a bit like Jamie Oliver.

Kind of.
Lawrence went to India last summer,

achieved enlightenment,
started bitching

about celebrity
culture at editorial meetings.

Look, mate, it's kind of
a busy day in here now.

Promptly fired, now works at the
Bermondsey And Rotherhithe Gazette.

Look, I got your point. I'm being
more positive in the office.

Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah,
where did you say he worked again?

Thank you.

Lawrence knows your Wayne guy.
Incident last summer,

gang of youths
beat up an Asian guy on a bendy bus.

Wayne showed up on the CCTV.

Starring role.
You're kidding me?

Dewsbury makes the ninth death

inside a young offenders'
institute this year.

Get that and the Heinz Report
in a single sentence

and they'll
play it in the summaries.

Who saw Jo Porter on
St Stephen's Green

gaping
like a freshly-landed bass?

Beginning to feel like
mission accomplished.

We missed you on this one, James.

Where were you,
having your dinner jacket let out?

I'll see you tonight.
I'll be running a little late.

Newsnight. Oh. Wish me luck.

Hope the shit gets hit by lightning.

He's not that bad.
Really?

You should hear him on the
subject of your selection

or on ethnic minorities.

Let me tell you about him.

George will act like a friend
right up until the point

he realises you're a threat.

Wow.
Hospitalised for a week.

Turns out he was involved
in a racial attack.

Yes, a very firm source.
He's got a couple of convictions.

It's a bit of an ugly one.

Yeah. Asian guy.

Well... On a bus.

Christ, it looks like an
awards ceremony for ad men.

You ready?

Let's get through it.

Ashika Chandiramani,
my wife, Caroline.

At last, a face to the voice. Hello.

Finally.

This is my father, Lord Blakely.
Congratulation on your selection.

Oh, yes. That's very kind of you.
Thank you. Thanks.

Did you talk to
Saffron Hibbs at Sky?

Shit!

I'll do it. I've got to hang
around anyway,

do Jo's statement
in the light of revelations.

You should get home.

I am a bit wrecked after last night.

I mean, I can't drink
like that any more.

Right.

See you tomorrow.

Oh, hi, you two.
You all right, Soph?

Hello.

Oh, Scott, you've met James.

Yes. And Ashika, of course.

Hi. In fact, you know
practically everyone here.

So, are you going to be a regular
fixture at Tory dos from now on?

No, one-off.
I brought a particularly long spoon.

Congratulations on your selection.
How did you bag that one?

I thought it was local jobs
for local people up there.

MUSIC: 'Superstition'
by Stevie Wonder

I love this song!

So, come on,
who's going to ask me to dance?

Excuse me.

Er, we should dance too.

Should we? Yeah.

That's a lovely sight.

After all these years,
still as devoted as ever.

A man and his meal ticket.

How is he in the workplace?

I imagine he's
something of a taskmaster.

He's not too bad.

Hmm, chap in a hurry.
Wants to get to the top

before
people realise his limitations.

Sorry to speak ill of a friend.

I'm presuming that he is a friend?

Yeah, we get on.

Ah, yes, there was a spot of
fear and trembling at introductions.

Worlds collide, eh?

Nowadays, of course, that
sort of thing

isn't such a
problem, not for the man.

Women still tend to get cast
as home wreckers, femme fatale,

or a laughing stock.

Never does much for their prospects.

Seems terribly unfair.

Already tonight, reports that
Wayne Dewsbury's

said to have been involved in a
previous unprosecuted incident

which left an Asian youth

needing 17 stitches and a
lengthy stay in hospital...

Hello.

Again. Hi.

You're not someone I was
expecting to see here.

I shock myself sometimes.

Having a nice time?

Ha. Yeah, me neither.

Got your message.

Yeah, I was going to tell you
about the nomination last night.

Bit of a strange situation,
given the family connection.

Kicked myself I missed your call.

Did you? Hurt my shin quite badly.

Did you want to dance at all?

You think your shins are up to it?

I don't know whether
to wish you good luck.

I think that might be
a bit too strange.

OK.

Well, then I hope you lose.

But I hope you don't get the shit
kicked out of you in the process.

If you call me again,
I'll pick up the phone.

Scott... I am so sorry.

Scott, Caroline Northcote read
my Spectator piece

about short
sharp shocks for dyslexics.

I didn't know about the son.

Did you know about the son?

You might have to put me in a taxi.

It's fine,
I was just about to leave anyway.

Were you?

What are you doing?

Obeying orders.

Night, guys.

Ah, George. How was Newsnight?

Ah, usual thing. These people
are talking about going home.

Not the army way. No, bloody right.

Actually, I'm leaving too.
You're going my way, aren't you?

Yeah. Share a cab?
Good night, Lesley.

Yeah, yeah. Bye.

Bye. Night. Night.

Good to have met you.

Look after yourself.
No-one else will.

Come on. Shall we get a cab?

Have you got any friends or family
up there that you can stay with? No.

Urgh, hotel rooms.

Miserable, lonely business.

I don't mean to depress you
unnecessarily.

You'll be fine,
made of stern stuff.

I know you disapprove, George,

of how I was selected.
Oh, please.

The A list is a stinker of an idea,
bad for the party, bad for unity.

As for fair and unfair ways of
being selected, when did that start?

It's a greasy pole, a certain
amount of grease is expected.

This is me.

For the whole journey.
Thanks, George.

Good night. Night.

RADIO: As yet unconfirmed reports
that Dewsbury was a racial assailant

after he's alleged to have
carried out an attack in July...

Hear that?

Yesterday he was Wayne.
Now he's Dewsbury.

How long have you been up?

Wasn't sleepy.

Made some toast, d'you want some?

You not hungry either?
Weird feeling, isn't it?

Say one thing yesterday, today
it's the news, you know, weird.

Either way, I'm happy.

Erm, don't expect Jo to be.
She'll probably have the last moan.

Boss's prerogative. Yeah.

You know, she said a
funny thing to me yesterday.

She said you left
the party with Kirsty.

Did you?

Leave with her, yeah.

And then we got separate cabs home.

I was home before you, Danny.

Honestly?

I don't wanna sound like a prick.

Kirsty's great
but she's not really my... Type?

League.

I mean, she's perfect for you,

she's great. I mean, you're
into that whole real woman idea.

I've got a reputation to uphold,
mate. It's a terrible burden.

Hey... I didn't shag her.

Sorry.

Jo's on some Machiavellian
divide and conquer trip.

Don't listen to her,
she's making you all paranoid.

Oh, she is. She's doing my head in.

You know, I'm seriously
thinking about leaving.

SCOTT SNIGGERS
What?

Going in at entry level
with another MP at your age?

I'm not talking about with
another MP.

Could be outside
Westminster. Why not?

With your experience,
you could do anything.

You could star in a West End
musical. I was thinking law.

What?
As a name for the musical or...

No, or journalism.

Danny! I have contacts.

Danny, shut up!

You're lucky. You're in a job
where you actually hate your boss.

Think of the poor bastards who're
in jobs where they hate themselves.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

What was the password?

Easy. Starts with an "M".

Money.

Margaret.

Oh, close.

Do you remember two years ago
George had that Colombian

land
clearance thing hanging over him?

Peasants set up one of those rights
for indigenous peoples things.

Before my time. They got wiped out.

Whole families killed.

Right. George's name showed up
as a company director.

He came out, said he'd severed ties
with the company years before,

he was only ever shop window,
never party to board decisions.

Matt, there's e-mails on there,
a lot of them,

that prove
George never left the company.

You think he knew about the
massacres? If I had to guess...

Anyway, just lying about keeping in
contact's enough to end his career.

BEEPING

Jesus Christ!

It's him. Is George not
getting his BlackBerry back?

You're my little boy wonder,
aren't you?

Are you happy? Yes.
I'm happy. You've changed the story.

The ends justified the means,
didn't they?

Didn't they?

I suppose it's good people
got both side of the story.

It was being reported in
a kind of a racial way...

Fine. And we live to carry on
our battle against injustice.

Speaking of which,

little kids on their bikes in
local council estates selling crack.

Littler kids cutting their
feet on the crack pipes.

Ah, here he is.

Late but happy. Debrief me.

Don't want to.

Charmed the socks off a whole new
generation

of Conservative
high flyers, did you?

Always presuming you
stopped at the socks.

I'm almost decided on Tom Merchant,
by the way, for that job.

The landmines guy?
Don't worry, he's no threat.

Particularly now your mobile
runneth over

with all the right Tory numbers.

Is that why I'm here,
cos I know the right Tories?

I thought it was because

I know if your favoured candidate's
got the right shoes.

Scott, you are a valued member
of this organisation.

Did he have the right shoes?

No. Campers. Absolute disaster.

That's not my point.

On, no!

"Lobbyist about town, Scott Foster,

"known for his high-level
New Labour connections,

"was spotted up close and personal

"with more than one
New Tory lovely

"at the Conservative Winter Ball."

No wonder he doesn't like himself.

Hmm.

TELEPHONE RINGS

It's my mum.

Could I just be clear on something?

Oh, will you fuck off
with your clarity?

Sleeping with you was a bad,
drug-induced decision, OK?

You needn't worry because I would
need something stronger than coke

to come anywhere near a vacuous,

substance-free,
empty shell like you again.

Cheers.
I was ringing about Danny actually.

At least Danny believes
in something. You...

Could you NOT tell him
about that night?

Yeah, I'm going to go in there
and boast about you. Please.

Jesus, I should as well.

Do you think I've no beliefs?

Self pity, great, that's such
a rare quality in a man (!)

Bloody embarrassment.

Listen.

The other night...

with Scott...

He was making a bit of a dick of
himself then as well, wasn't he?

You should tell him
to ease off a bit.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

What did you say to Lord Blakely?

Couldn't shut him up
about you in the taxi.

Said you had your head well screwed
on. Epic praise coming from him.

Caroline say anything?
Um, nothing much.

She was worried for you. Thought
that smarmy lobbyist had designs.

I wouldn't have said
he was particularly smarmy.

As lobbyists go. Ten years in bed
with New Labour

and then he thinks
he can dance the night away with us?

I'd say he's up there.

Come to the flat.

Take out all the "robusts"
and then, er, send it out.

Yeah. Here. Thank you.

Mrs Dewsbury was described
by relatives as distraught

at the allegations that her son
was involved in a racial attack...

Who's the Black guy?

Half-brother. Christ.

..describing the incident

as more of a fight between
gangs of various races

than any kind of premeditated attack
on an individual. Jesus Christ!

Where did your news guy get
Wayne being Rights For Whites?

News from inside Bodley
Young Offenders' Institution

that Kayin Ashodi, Wayne Dewsbury's
alleged assailant,

underwent two
recent psychiatric evaluations,

both of which found him to be
suffering severe disturbances.

Neither recommendation
was acted upon.

We understand that Bodley's
governor

is due to make
a statement later today.

Cheeky bugger asked for redundancy,
can you believe it?

Who wants to check this
press statement for me?

Danny. Good boy.

Cheer up, everyone. We won.

What?

We slandered a dead person, right?

We traumatised a grieving family
for nothing.

Wayne Dewsbury was a yob
who liked fights on buses

and thank Christ because that little
detail held up the story long enough

for some journalist to get off
their arse and find out the truth.

Ashodi was a certified nutter and
the governor did nothing about it.

Now the right bloke's
resigning not me. OK?

I don't know, Jo.

Come here.

Well done.

Whether you like it or not,
you did your job.

I'm buying the drinks tonight.

You're coming too, Kirsty.

Why should Danny suffer alone?

Last night,
did you see me with a BlackBerry?

I know I had it in the ballroom,

I reckon I must've left
it in the bloody taxi.

Oh, no.
Have you tried the cab company?

It's got all my phone numbers,
everything.

Bloody technological gizmos,
get you by the balls.

Look, take it to CCHQ,
let them deal with it.

No. Then I'll just be
a whistle-blower.

I'll get a thank you note

and then suddenly people
stop answering my calls.

Why don't you just do nothing?

Matt, this is corporate murder.

Yeah, in Colombia.

Colombians kill each other all the
time, it's the national pastime.

Look, James is going to fuck
this up, he wants to see blood.

You're wrong about that.
No, I'm not.

Actually, I don't care about George
but James eviscerating him in public

is going to hurt the party and being
around that is going to damage you.

What time can you
make it to the flat?

There isn't time.
I'll say I'm seeing a constituent.

Come on, half an hour,
I can be impressively speedy.

I've got something on George.
How big?

Resignation material? Yeah.

What is it?

Does anyone else know? No.

I want to see the look on his face.

I'm going to take him apart.

I needed to make sure it's the kind
of thing

you were still interested
in before I took it any further.

Oh, I'm keenly interested.

I need to work my source some more.
I'll get back to you.

Guess whose office
was just on the line?

Shadow Education.

Happy to interface with
Templeton Carter's catering clients.

You can hate people and charm them
at the same time. You're a natural.

Sorry, Stephen, I've got some stuff
I really need to get through today.

You know, it's not
about belief, Scott.

It's not even really about politics.
Sod it. What is it about?

It's about placing our clients
with those whose influence can...

That IS politics, Stephen.

It's wrong, it's anti-democratic
but it's still politics.

Jesus, why do you think I held on
this long? For the expense account?

So I could meet people
from drugs companies or Tories?

Listen to me, Scott... Why should I
listen to you? Why should I do that?

Every time I think you're going
to say something real,

you trot
out another mission statement.

I want to make a difference.
Is that an alien concept to you?

We all want to make a difference.

Yeah, I want to make a
POSITIVE difference.

I actually don't like land mines
or torturing bears

or Russians who like to have
their nearest competitor killed.

If I misled you on that,
I apologise.

I think you should
keep interviewing.

I think another vacancy's
in the offing.

Ashika? Everything OK?

I have your BlackBerry.

Oh, thank God for that.
Where was it?

In the cab.

I don't understand.

So what did he promise you
when you told him?

That he'd make you
a special adviser?

Fix another selection?

If James had anything,
it would be on the news by now.

Really?

So what can I do for you?

It's not like that.

Oh, no,

not the pearl-handled revolver?

You waiting for a thank you?

Just for a moment,
I was beginning to admire you

for learning how to play dirty

as though you'd realised
that being a Paki and a woman

doesn't make you a good person.

Now you go and spoil it.

I know all about the kind
of person I am, George.

Unfortunately for you,

I'm also the person
with your BlackBerry.

Our sincere condolences go out
to the family of Wayne Dewsbury

for the loss of their son and for
the unfortunate press coverage,

um,
slandering his name.

Misguided and unfortunate there.

Um, however, our priority now

is to make sure that a tragedy
like this never happens again.

That's why the Home Secretary

will be unveiling new measures...
BUZZING

..to improve internal security
in young offender institutions...

Jo Porter's phone. George Morgan's
resigned. He's done what?!

That's what I said. During my time
in this Shadow Cabinet,

it's been a privilege and a pleasure
to serve my great party

in its struggle to challenge
the current Government.

How was I?

George Morgan's just resigned.

Personal reasons.

Yes! Yes! We made it.

They'll never show that interview.
Morgan's the big story.

Same guy who yesterday thought
he was going to have MY arse.

I swear to God -
best job in the world!

This is the celebration we
should've been having yesterday.

Only now, it's a double.

I'm sorry you didn't get
to push George yourself.

He's gone, that's the main thing.

Suddenly a lot of people
want to buy me lunch.

What happened to your source?

Prostitute looking for a pay-off.

George must've got wind of it
and jumped. Dirty bugger.

Worked out nicely anyway.

I'm hearing serious noises about a
department.

When the by-election ends,
you get yourself back here,

reshuffles, general election,
who knows where we might be?

Safe seat this time.
Here's to scandal.

What about us?

What if all this came out?
It won't.

What if it did?

It wouldn't be terminal.

Sit out a reshuffle or two.

What are you doing?

Getting ready for Longton South.

The campaign starts tomorrow.
Well, I'm making a head start.

Oh, this is sounding ominous.

Yeah, OK, you're right,

I was thinking about my career, my
advancement.

I'm a plonker, we know that.

You can't be angry at me
for that, Ashika,

that's
the nature of the beast.

I don't think we're entirely
different species on this one.

# Enjoy yourself and have
Lots of fun

# So glad and live longer
Than you've ever done

# Enjoy yourself

# It's later than you think

# Enjoy yourself

# While you're still in the pink

# The years go by

# As quickly as you wink

# Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself

# It's later than you think. #

HE SNIGGERS

HE SIGHS

Drink it.

My foot caught
the edge of a flagstone

and then I went arse over tit
into the bus stop.

Yeah, apparently the more you drink,
the looser they get.

Are you putting anything on it?

I just like looking at it.

Oh, this is going to look great
finding a new job.

No, no, seriously,
I'm proud of you, you know?

You freed yourself.
Yeah.

Every little job
has its little ups and downs.

Yeah, you feel a bit shit

and then suddenly...

Ah...
Piss off!

RETCHING

BEEPING

SNORING

'Hello, this is Scott Foster, please
leave a message after the tone.'

Hi.

I was going to call you
before I left

but I'm going
early now so it's too late.

Um, yeah,

I had...

I've had something you said
rolling around in my head.

You said that you hope I lose

but you hope that I don't get
the shit kicked out of me.

That was a nice thing
to say, so thank you.

Um, it's Ashika, by the way.

You didn't pick up this time either.

Bye.

# But you're still in my mind

# You're still in my mind

# And here's where the sound

# Of my tears hits the ground

# Just like the rain

# Just like the rain

# Just like the rain

# Just like the rain

# Just like the rain. #

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