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[door closes]

What the fuck?

Guys, come down here!

What's wrong with you?

I was going to make cereal and now we're all out of milk. This is awful.

No, we just got milk this week.

Did somebody say "awful"?

[cheers]

Well, here's a culprit. I bet it was you.

I didn't do anything.

Well, we're all out of milk and we all know you're the kind of milk drinker.

You always finish everything in the fridge before you ever even get to anything.

We never get to enjoy a bowl of cereal or a glass of milk or anything because it's always done before we get there.

Okay, my bad.

So you're gonna replace the milk?

[laughter]

We're kind of hungry.

Yeah, we're supposed to have all these boxes of cereal. We can't even enjoy it because we're out of milk.

Oh, sorry.

Well, maybe you should calm down your habit of drinking it.

Okay, I'll get you another one.

Okay, 'cause you just drink it straight out of the carton.

Yeah, we're looking at you.

You probably go through like three gallons a week, like can you calm it down just a little bit?

Disgusting.

Yeah.

What are we gonna do about it?

He just doesn't even care. Do you even care?

We're still having him in his own fridge.

Yeah, we're gonna start labeling our shit.

You're gonna have your own carton of milk and that's how we're gonna solve the problem, I guess, right?

Yeah.

Like it's just gonna have to be that way.

So, where are we supposed to eat now?

We're gonna have to get to take care of our something.

Okay, we have a bendy bomb.

And no milk.

Like, okay, so there's no milk so we can't have cereal.

We're supposed to have something else for your lunch.

Yeah, I'm gonna start by.

I know.

Um, I mean, it was a Tracy brandy, I probably can't.

Yeah, I love it.

And there are mushrooms.

We got the snack for him.

Spices?

I don't know.

Let's see.

Um, no.

Mmm, really?

We haven't had grocery shopping in weeks so this kind of makes sense that we're all out of everything.

Um, do you want to just maybe order something earlier, some cake out?

Yeah.

What are you hungry for?

I don't know.

I don't even have board over right here.

Yeah.

Do you feel like you need food?

No.

No.

It's too early for a meal.

You're right.

Um, we need to take care of our food.

Yeah.

Did I eat shit?

We're gonna try this for like two days ago.

Yeah.

I don't really want to sandwich.

I kind of smell the boring one.

Yeah, the boring one.

We can get in now.

Oh, a burger sounds good.

Yeah.

It's like greasy.

Yeah.

Um, yeah, maybe I can go for a burger.

I wanna go for a different place though.

Like they did just like, yeah, they kind of just like opened a new location on the street that went into it.

Like the grill.

Yeah, the grill one.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go for a sweet potato fries.

I'm gonna want you to try this.

Oh, sweet potato?

Yeah, yeah.

They have like a really good dipping sauce.

I heard that too.

Ooh.

Okay, we're gonna get that.

And then,

should we get somewhere for dessert or should we spoil ourselves tonight?

Dessert?

Yeah, let's get a little guilty pleasure.

Ooh, something chocolate.

Chocolate.

Oh, I think they have like, any like, chocolate covered strawberry please.

We need like pink with shrink gloss.

Oh, strawberry.

Yes!

Like a little tree there.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, we'll have a lot of lemon single because I like half of it.

I know, I even make him favor this too.

Yeah.

Right?

Cause you can just do whatever you like.

Yeah, I can just hold it fucking well.

It's the least you can do for us.

Yeah, so burgers and the chocolate covered strawberries for dessert.

That sounds good.

I think that's a good plan.

Yeah.

We, look at us, animators.

Yeah, I'm gonna have a fat.

Well, also a hat and a like soba ordering for us.

Yeah, I think we should talk to Josh about the host rules though.

Yeah.

Josh, we need to have a discussion here about one rule.

It's fucking community food.

If you finish it, you replace it.

It's not that hard.

If it's in the fridge, that means it's all of ours.

Josh, that's yours.

And like, it's not just a fucking free throw.

No, it's supposed to be all for free for us.

Oh, so I have a woman.

Uh huh.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Like, I swear, when we tell you something ago, didn't like Aaron out the other.

Plus, he didn't take out the trash yesterday like I was supposed to.

I saw it all out there by the front door.

Yeah, that's a man's job.

We agree.

You take out the trash and like, we'll help with the cooking, but you can't be eating

all the food that we cook with.

I feel like we just do everything.

You're just kind of like useless.

Yeah.

You're supposed to be kind of a help around here.

Like, we're all a team.

We're community that wants to, like come on.

It's not that hard.

Uh huh.

And like, we'll like, I gotta tell you what, if you do that, like maybe we'll make

sure dinner's ready as long as he's actually feeding in the fridge.

If you make sure the trash is taken out.

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, are there anything that you want us to work on too?

I don't want to be like a total tyrant here at my house.

No, you're good.

We are kind of perfect.

Yeah, okay.

I mean, we cook and we clean.

One job, one job.

Fucking trash, because it isn't that hard to remember.

Cause I'm just going to keep Polyash.

I refuse to take it out.

That shit's dating.

Cause I'm not touching it.

Plus he's been laying down on the toilet seats up too.

Oh my god.

Thank you.

If I wanted a frat boy in my house, I would have ordered a frat boy.

Right.

Like, come on, you're not a child.

I have better kids than you.

Like that.

Yeah.

Like, you know, at least he doesn't pee on the seat though.

Let's appreciate it if he thinks about him.

He doesn't bear a minimum.

He's got to go to war.

Hey, that's a lot for a man.

You gotta get him from some credit.

You've got to get him pissed everywhere.

You know?

Those are my women.

I'm just a woman.

And I had...

So the rules...

when I moved in, rule number one was...

I put it back.

And you know, rule number two was...

I feel like he's deflecting.

He's totally deflecting.

And the biggest rule, rule number three...

All right, yeah, rule number three.

But you had to remember our rule is that we have to place two in that house,

which is take out the fucking trash on the inside.

Yeah, I know.

I just, like, I want something to make the situation to work out between us

and all the other gay people in the community.

And the community is tough.

You know?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

You want to write a book with the bullet number one?

Yeah, that's like one of the biggest rules.

Mm-hmm.

And then I'm sure Jane knows, like, the other rule.

Like, I know you got a little comfortable flippin' in here.

And it's kind of like just been a casual, like, fun vibe.

But I still don't remember that, like, on these aren't-place.

And, like, structure keeps us home, friendly and smoothly.

Yeah.

And we just need to maintain the structure in this home.

Yeah.

Construction.

That's exactly what we need.

Then you can figure it out.

Do I have faith in them?

I mean, obviously we didn't have any little sense of theory,

and idiot, like, we have some faith in you.

Like, I think we just found a little bit too waxing.

We had to just, like, have this little, little meeting, you know?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

It makes feel good so far.

I'm happy that we're clearing it with you in the air.

Yeah, you too.

That's a good thing that we all live together.

Yeah, I really appreciate how communicated we can be with each other

and just, like, honest and open.

I try my best.

Yeah, I think it creates, like, a pretty peaceful vibe

when these little hiccups we have about house rule is good.

I mean, I guess I'm not unhappy overall, though, with this situation.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

So, did you want anything specific from like that new girl playing a smoothing about burgers?

Yeah, burgers sound good.

Okay.

I'm not too picky.

Uh, so the sweet potato fries.

I'm going to add double the order.

Where are we going?

Oh, you want to, okay, cool.

I'm sure to get, like, a lot done for that.

I get all the sauces.

I don't remember.

Do you like the chocolate chip strawberries?

Oh, I do.

Yeah?

Oh, cool.

I'll make sure I just order, like, a dozen.

I'm not like a baker's dozen.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Okay.

We'll make sure we're outside of the net.

Nothing else?

No.

Okay.

I think I'm actually going to get the white chocolate covered strawberries on half.

Oh, the white, the white chocolate?

Yeah, the white chocolate.

We do like to smell the rainbow sprinkles on it.

It's, like, it's just so fun.

Very spring kind of.

I think it's cute.

Yeah.

I'm excited, though.

Maybe it is a good thing that you drink all the milk.

We would have a bowl of cereal.

True.

We do have to go for a free shopping, though, y'all, like, y'all know.

Yeah, we have no snacks.

Yeah, we got to get all the munchies up in here.

I think we're almost out of water bottles, too.

You know I'm really picking it up for a while.

I mean, you have water bottles all over your room when I was in there.

Yeah, you go to the cut.

I know, with those big packs, and then they're just on.

Yeah, and, like, I go to your room, and I go on a rite, so, like, tell you how to get to the full of food.

I'm kind of excited to eat.

I don't know.

Pick it up a little bit.

I'm not picking up your room.

I'm not, mom.

Yeah.

Alright, so, you can go in.

Is that going to be the issue that you pick up your room?

No.

No.

Alright.

We're pretty good at cleaning whenever.

Oh, yeah, except for the trash.

We're going to have to clean the whole room.

But he doesn't want to take the trash out, so we just like, use it all in his room.

I mean, listen, I'll clean your room with 20 bucks.

Yeah, if you want to.

Oh, shit.

Hey, 20 bucks.

Okay, okay.

I think I can use that, yeah.

Alright, so, do you remember the file for the big place?

I think I'm going to pick out the ground.

Yeah, I don't know.

We should check the drug drawer, yeah.

I'm sorry, no.

So, let me send you that at first, I guess.

Do you remember where the book can take out?

You don't remember, right?

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

I'll keep it later.

We have so much to do, oh, we have to clean.

We have to take out things, order dinner, change to the room, take out the trash.

Take groceries.

Well, take groceries.

So, there's like, grocery delivery this time.

Yeah, we just get our deliveries.

Yeah.

Yeah, we can get everything delivered, so we just hang around the house, not worry about it.

Yeah, I found a clean and lazy day.

We like, throw a movie on or something.

I think we're going to show out that streaming.

Yeah, let's do that.

It's been just a year, you think.

Okay.

You think we're going to do an after-show?

Yeah.

Probably nice to have a life mate, you know, after food, cleaning all that, good shit.

We're going to have some order late-suit downs, like this time.

I just really have to say it.

I actually have to think about having it after this.

Yeah, for the cookies.

I know that you drink the entire carton in one day.

You're a cereal milk carton drinker.

You're crazy.

What about a cheerleading outfit?

Thanks, what? I'm not wearing a cheerleading outfit to my first date with this guy.

Come on, it'll kind of show that you're a team player, and you're athletic.

I think it's really go well.

What do you think?

No, no, no. I think we need to think of something else.

Okay, hear me out. How does a jumpsuit sound?

For our first date? That's weird.

No, it's going to sound weird.

I mean, are you trying to sleep with them on the first date or not? How easy is that?

You know me. You know me.

Okay, so what if we get like a sexy schoolgirl vibe, "Hear me out, you're old Catholic school uniform."

Ew, come on.

No, no, they get like smart girl meat pli, like little school whore.

I think it's a great idea.

I'm not going full whore.

Okay, that's a good idea.

Come on, Jamie. It looks good, exciting here.

We could do like presidential style of a fan club.

What are you even saying right now?

Because I'm trying to like, you want to, like the right outfit is the right thing about your vibe, right?

You want to get a good first impression.

Dude, I was just thinking of wearing like some Daisy Dupes.

Clasp it up a little bit with Daisy Dupes shorts over here.

I'm not, I'm not. I don't know about that.

Okay, um, let me see more on that. I don't know. What do you want?

You have a really cute pink outfit, you can do the pink outfit with like the black shoes or something?

Or you have like, with the flower crown though, like, give me buy it.

Okay, no, no, no, no. Not doing a flower crown.

Come on, I free love, man.

But I've been wanting to use those black platforms for a while.

Okay, so we'll build it off the black platforms.

Yeah, you don't mind the company, right?

I'm trying to be water conscious.

Oh yeah, you're such an environmentalist.

Our water level was pretty high though last month.

You should be more careful about what we're using.

Um, what would you think about your outfit? Let's see.

I really think the black platforms with the Calpsis school skirt or skirt would be killer.

I don't know. I can use the skirt, but I, oh, no, oh, no, no, no.

I know, I got it. You can do the black platforms with your daisy dude to like, throw a flannel over your waist

and you can give that kind of like grungy vibe.

And then, let's see.

Um, you can do like grungy makeup with it if you want to give kind of like that intimidating bitch.

Like, yeah, I know I'm hot, but don't touch me.

Uh-huh.

That's me.

I mean, but at the same time though, like, why are you making so much noise with an outfit

and we all know you taste it man, it's horrible, you're probably gonna have to pry and bat it in two weeks, like.

Maybe you should just, you know what, fuck it, it's going your daisy dude because we all know you need.

Oh, yeah, right.

Right, come on, Dash's got to agree with me, like that last guy you brought home, like, what was that?

Is this in the diesel truck?

Hmm, yeah.

Like, come on.

So about this guy, did you get him from the discount boyfriend store or what?

No, she made him at the coffee shop because he's so deep and artistic and broody.

I don't know, I think the redneck guy's better than this one.

Oh, that bumper?

Yeah.

Hey, at least he had those good old Southern value users, whatever the fuck they do down there.

What if you, we gotta find you like a doctor because you keep getting all these like, broke-ass…

A doctor?

A doctor, Genie.

I need more attention than that, though.

But Genie, do you want attention or do you want to have a good home?

And like, money?

Not all about the money.

I think it is, I got like, I don't know, your parents in Judo private Catholic school so they're twice in your district to one and you need money to do that.

Hence, marry a doctor.

True.

But like…

I see, I see you, your mindset.

And all these artistic, you're starting artists, man, aren't going to give you what you want, like, you always go for such red flags.

Like, what did he say his job was? Or did he have to focus on himself in his art?

Shut up.

Come on, girl. I'm telling you.

You gotta like, I gotta, Lili, are you gonna scope for guys at the next fraternity meeting at the college?

I like this one. I like him. I'm telling you.

Oh, he's the girl, guys.

I'll tell you how soon it goes.

Okay, maybe I can give him a little bit of a chance but we'll see.

Okay, would you like, totally tell me if I came into the size and watched a deep bell?

No, you should totally tell me.

Okay, I'm so excited.

Okay, I'm so excited.

Cool, then I can wear some funxed hair.

So I'm gonna have to find my dark sunglasses in fraternity less, I'm gonna go full, you know, spy big style.

I think, I hope this is the one for you, gaining.

And honestly, your gaining life hasn't been any…

Aw, fucking mad.

Like, I don't know.

Maybe do you have any friends you could help put her up with?

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah.

Some of the guys.

If this one doesn't go well.

We always have a backup plan, you need just 'cause you have one good date with the rest of your life with him.

I know.

Right?

No expectations.

You gotta test her on the car before you buy it, hun.

Come on.

Don't you agree?

Yeah, it's not like that.

Right?

Exactly.

Or maybe it needs to be a run.

We'll get a free trial run, see if we like it or not.

And I say we because you're gonna bring these dudes home and we have to deal with them too.

Like, come on, ready?

Watch a movie and hang out with them, I want to hate the guys' guts.

Whatever, you don't have to like the guy from Dating.

I mean, but if you're living with us and we're friends, I want to like the man you're with.

I'm gonna just go to Barrett's.

But I'm hoping to steal you from us, Jimmy.

You're gonna find a winner one day.

You're gonna find Mr. Right on Light Horse in Shining Armor.

Oh yeah, that's what I want.

That's totally what I want.

You want.

So what do you want?

I don't know, I just kinda...

I wanna like a group of li'l players.

You like the crunchy type, huh?

You want to like go out barefoot in like a meadow of the easy, like for all like in sh*t, huh?

Hibby vibe.

Hibby vibe.

I mean, I am in the whole communal thing.

So I can't date back, you still want more commitment than that?

I don't know, you know how I kind of like to do the like the poly thing, just like date around right now.

Yeah, I just, maybe we are just so different in that fashion.

I kind of imagine that like...

Yeah, you're more like thinking like forever.

Yeah, isn't that what deans for is for forever?

Well, we're so young.

I don't know.

But this is the time, like what?

You're gonna decide to marry an old person?

Yeah.

Come on.

You don't know with me, especially.

You have always been the f*cking wildcard, ever since school.

Crazy.

Ah, do you know that one time almost got suspended?

When we ran out on a Wednesday?

Yeah, I don't know.

We ran out so much fun.

Ah, the dean was so mad.

Those were such fun days.

Kind of like we're hearing now, and so we're still making roomies and we always plan.

Yeah.

And then we have you too, to add to the fun, like...

Who says "fraze a company," right?

Yeah.

So, how are you gonna do your makeup do you think for it?

Like, you're not just gonna wear like my casual...

I don't even know, like you do normal, but you wanna show them the real you.

I was thinking maybe adding some like eyelashes or something.

Yeah, kind of glam it up just a little.

Yeah, just a little bit, like at first aid.

Well, and you wanna like draw his head into your eyes, his eyes through the window through the salt.

True.

You know?

Like you can tell it's so much about a person, you're looking at eyes.

Uh-huh.

Can I use that blush you got the other day?

Yeah, it's so pretty.

I mean, you look like they're wearing a little bit of color.

Yeah, it'll help make your skin tone so much, though.

I

I don't remember except the curtains when I get out of the shower.

Yeah, no, I drip water everywhere.

There's a guy in my head.

He's kind of tall.

He's my best.

Now, I think you should curl your hair and throw in some lashes.

It'll be a really good vibe for you.

And you'll look really good with your outfit, just like a cute natural look.

I think I wanna do actually the pink shirt with that skirt.

What are you talking about?

I love pink, especially with your red hair.

I know people are not supposed to, but I like it.

I can get a really warm, sweet heart.

Can I have a vibe?

I like a Barbie doll.

Yeah!

Don't have the heart in the middle.

Oh, yes, I love it.

I feel like all my clothes are pretty so I love her.

Well, you are a little love-ad.

Pink hip hearts-y.

I love it.

And as a pink top, your tits look so good in that costume.

Yeah, real tits I have.

I mean, that's what I need.

I'll tell you where you get it on any length.

If they look good, they look good, and you take that opportunity and show 'em off.

That skirt is so slutty, though.

I feel like I'm exposing so much of my ass and stuff.

I could wear socks or something, too.

Yeah.

I'm just gonna be so cold.

I totally bring a cardigan.

I hate wearing a cardigan.

- Like a shawl? - I don't know.

I'm just having my whole shoulder bow part there.

- Wow. - And we can change up the socks,

and be like, "Me? How'd you stop?"

- Yeah, because that's what it says.

- It could cover your legs a little bit more.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- And if you're cold, you know,

you do that excuse to ask for a jacket,

or the gentleman's test to see the offer they do.

- Does it really be like, "Oh, it's so cold."

(laughs)

- It's so cliche. - Yeah.

But it's like a good test of character.

- Yeah. - I think it's gonna be like,

polite video. - Yeah.

- All I know is I hope this is the one,

'cause I'm tired of going through tubs of ice cream,

when you break up with your men.

- Or you take it harder than I do.

(laughs)

- Listen, I'm sensitive, okay? (laughs)

Are you gonna be out late tonight?

Like, should we get the door unlocked for you?

- No! - I'm just, I don't know.

But you're gonna go, right?

You're gonna be here.

- Oh yeah, yeah, I just thought my sunglasses are my hoodie,

you're so right, I'm excited.

I'm gonna take notes. - No, stop.

- And I'm gonna take secret cute pictures,

so that if he is the one, and then you have pictures

about your wedding of what you've just met.

- Oh no, yeah, 'cause that won't be weird. (laughs)

- Well, by then, it won't be weird, you'll be engaged.

- Oh yeah. - It'll be cute.

- Look at you thinking about the future, yeah.

- We just can't tell him what we're doing,

'cause that's definitely gonna scare him off.

- Stalker? (laughs)

(door opens)

- I'm telling you, it's not gonna be weird.

- I kinda want you there, just in case shit goes like south,

and then we can just dip, and then do something else.

- What is it like? - I really don't know.

- Yeah.

I wonder what he drives.

- The most important question. - All right.

- Oh my gosh, I hope it's not some like,

beat down hooptie, you know?

(gibberish)

- I mean, that was like, Diesel guy at least had that truck,

and though it kinda was obviously the tiny dick.

- Did he? (gibberish)

It's so true about them then.

- It is true, when they got the big dick truck,

it was the smallest dick.

That's why it didn't work out with us, obviously. (laughs)

(gibberish)

- Yo, what if he drives a Prius?

(gibberish)

(laughs)

- Right? (gibberish)

- Oh, he better not ask you to go half and half on the bill

for dinner, otherwise, I'm gonna walk right up to your table,

and just like, (bubbles)

- No, he's going to the bullpen.

- All right, he better.

- No more broke boys.

- Yeah, he offers what he has today.

- That's good.

What if he tries to make out with you on the first date?

- You know I'm a fucking whore, I'll probably let him.

(laughs)

- Well, let's go get you dressed, girl.

(upbeat music)

- What do you wanna watch?

- No, I was thinking something funny.

- Yeah, comedy, I could totally go for that.

- Oh wait, there was this new show,

the kind of Rante one about the bondage.

- Oh, it's not the levy and stuff?

- Is it called bonding?

- What are you guys watching?

- I don't know.

- Something about like bondage?

- Yeah.

- I'm gonna type it in and see what comes up.

- Like, I don't know, like that,

like sex and change type shit?

- Yeah.

- Oh, hi.

- How long into it are you?

- We just started.

- Oh yeah, now this is a,

let's start on the first episode.

- Yeah.

I mean it looks kind of sexy,

where I did look about lighting.

- Yeah.

- Giant dildo.

- Yeah, she's a lot of dildo.

- Could you imagine like putting,

oh my god, that's huge. - It's huge!

- Oh, look at his hand was inside of it for a second,

like he's kissing the dildo.

- Yeah, like just...

- Yeah, I'm just kind of a bad bitch.

- Yeah, I like her outfit.

- Yeah, I want that.

- Yeah, that's a pretty good movie.

- I actually think it's a series.

- Yeah, it's just a series. - So yeah,

which I'm excited about,

'cause like you know, you see more of it.

- Oh, okay.

- Yeah.

- You can tell they're both new to that, and it's fine.

- You think that guy likes being tied up like that?

- Yeah, I think, yeah.

He's totally digging that. - He did.

- They're like talking shit to him.

- I know.

That's crazy, he isn't like what the fuck.

You know, that'd be kind of a fun job though.

- Yeah, that would be so fun. - Mm-hmm.

- Oh, her earrings are so cool.

- I want those.

I like her Chocotu, they go together.

- What is that guy even doing there?

He's just standing there staring.

- I think she like paid them

for like an experience type of a thing.

- Yeah.

(groaning)

- And then the other guy's just like an assistant.

Like he's not even doing anything.

- Yeah.

- Oh yeah.

- This movie's pretty interesting.

- You keep calling it a movie, it's a show.

- Oh show, about it. - It's so serious.

- Sorry. - You're so dumb.

(audience laughing)

- I think we're calling it one sometimes.

- Such a blonde.

- Oh, that was a short episode.

I didn't realize the episodes were so short.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, that was like what, 15 minutes at most?

- Oh, and there's two seasons on here.

- Oh thank god.

I thought we were gonna binge watch like one season,

and then it'd be done.

I hate when shows do that.

Are they at a comedy club?

That's kind of a fun idea.

We should do that sometime, I think that'd be fun.

- Well, we can kind of take a few ideas from the show.

- Oh, they're like on a little bestie date.

- What are they even doing?

So that's okay, first I'm gonna go to comedy club

and they're not listening.

That doesn't make sense, right?

Oh my god, that shirt is so fucking groovy low.

But the paisley, I love it.

(gulps)

(laughs)

- Do you guys think you could ever go on stage

in a comedy?

- Oh god, no. - No?

- I don't have jokes to say in my life.

- Oh, you should try going on a date there with a guy.

In a comedy club, that would be so fun.

- I don't know if I like comedy clubs in real life.

- Yeah, they do kind of seem like a very Hollywood type.

Like one of those fake things that they do.

Like how high schools on shows

always have those walkers and stuff.

The like, what school actually has walkers like that?

I've never been to one.

I don't know.

Maybe I just need to get out more.

(sighs)

- Is that kinda gay?

I can't even tell.

Yeah, the gender is definitely gay.

(gulps)

Oh, she's cute.

- No, he's totally gay.

- Yeah.

- My gay daughter's going off so much.

(laughs)

- You guys are really good at reading people.

(laughs)

- It's the firm that gives it away.

- I think those are natural. - The ginger firm.

No, that's definitely a problem.

- You think so? - The ginger?

No, yeah, that's a firm.

- I think it is.

- No, you're right, 'cause look at the back of his hair.

Yeah, you're right, the back of his hair is flat.

- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, no, those girls are a firm.

Oh, look at the, yep, no, he's gay.

- Yeah.

Do you see the Burnett though?

She's so cute.

- Dude, I would do her. - Yeah.

- You kidding?

She's so hot.

I haven't seen that actress before.

- I haven't, this is like the only thing

I've actually seen her in.

- Yeah, this is probably her big debut or something.

- You know, good for her though.

- Her first film or something?

- Yeah. - 'Cause I haven't seen her before,

but she's cute.

- You know, maybe she'll pop off.

- Yeah, I think she will, she's a good actor.

- She kind of reminds me of another one

that I've seen before.

She has that face shape that's similar.

From that one show, it was like the crazy ass family,

and the drunk dad, they live in the hood or something.

You know, they have all these siblings.

- I don't remember that one.

I feel like she could be Zoe Dishanelle,

if she had bangs or something.

- Oh, you're so right. - She's like a Zoe type.

- Yeah. - That cutesy.

- Like hot librarian look, kind of a thing,

but quirky.

I don't know, I like it.

I like the whole Bestie vibe with the bomb,

they're saying they got it right.

- I like how the teeth is like her assistant.

- No, it was a nice concept that they threw in.

There's always those in this.

- This is very new wave, though,

I feel like they couldn't get away with a show like this,

like before.

- Oh, totally. - She's full of like sex stuff.

- Wait, did you see the guy in the fucking baby outfit?

- Yeah, what the fuck? - With the diaper?

- Yeah.

- What kind of f*cking fetish is that?

They come up with some crazy as*h nowadays.

- Oh, she's f*cking stepping on him.

- Let me, that's so hot, look at that.

- He's just like looking over there. - She doesn't even care.

Look, she's just like, you're annoying.

- That's like inspiring. - Oh, role play.

- Is that like a class?

- Yeah, he's teaching a class about role play.

- Oh my god.

That's a class I wanted to take, because it's fun.

He's not that bad looking.

- I know, I was gonna say, the teacher's kinda like too.

- She's like distracted.

- You think Shantz are f*cking up with him?

- Dude, I don't, it kinda like looks like they're foreshadowing that.

- I'm gonna say, I'm a little invested in like,

that relationship, yeah, like,

she f*cked her role play teacher, that's hot.

- Right, but oh, but then this other girl looks like

she's kinda into him too. - She is totally the antagonist.

Like she is probably like the bitchy mean girl

that's gonna try to be like, "F*ck me, f*ck me."

And then she's the actual winner.

- It's always the badass.

- Yeah, oh my god, right?

- Yeah, she's like teacher of petting him right now.

- With that f*cking with the collar and the blue

and the necklace, what a f*cking little preppy bitch.

Look at the headband. (laughs)

She's not having it.

(laughs)

- Look at her, she's like, yeah, she's over there.

- Aww, little guy's night, the dinner, I love that.

You know, I'm kinda getting into the show.

- I remember seeing the guy with the glasses on the trailer,

like he ends up dating the ginger guy.

- Yeah, wait, really?

- Yeah, the guy with the glasses.

- Oh, I love that, that's kinda cute.

I totally ship it.

- Oh, so yeah, here, see if it shows them.

- Is this their cute meat?

- Oh, oh, okay, it's where he looks at him.

- Yeah.

- He's totally tall.

- Yeah, they're cute together.

- I approve of this.

This is how he's gotten totally invested now.

Is that like a coffee shop that they're at though,

or like a diner?

- It's like a diner or something.

- It's pretty cute.

That's looks good.

So I wonder if that class does more than just like role play?

Like does he teach them the bondage?

- I think it's something different every class.

They go over, or like, you know,

that's something different every time.

- Huh.

Oh my God, he's totally trying to hit on her.

- Oh, look, yeah, the kid.

Right, right, right, right.

Maybe they're gonna end up together.

- No, I think she's trying to like suck the teacher's dick.

- Oh, like he's trying. - And he's cock blocking.

- Yeah, like there's a little complicated love mess

going on here.

- She's like, "You're not my type."

- Yeah, he's fucking great.

- Look at me go screwing this one up.

That was the, I don't like that blonde bitch on there.

- Oh, she's annoying.

- I know, you could tell by that side I should just gave him.

I was not, honey.

That teacher though.

- Yeah, he can get it.

- I kinda like a thing from men with facial hair.

- Yeah, he grows beard good.

- Man, I think I have a new man crush.

I don't even know who that actor is.

- Yeah, these are a lot of new ones, you know what I mean?

I feel like this is one of those low budget kind of things

where they just choose random actors.

- Yeah, they're like, "Let's make a show and see if it works."

And they're like, "Really working."

That's good for them though.

I mean, this is gonna be a lot of new faces.

I'm so tired of seeing the same fucking celebrities

with the taboos and the old time. - And then they hire the

old people to play young kids in a school or something.

- Yeah.

- Just hire a new actor.

- Well, and then you see one actor and everything,

and then you get stuck with him as one character.

- Yes, and you get in your head that's like,

that's who they are. - You see him as something else.

- Where's the remote?

- Turn it up.

- Yeah, I can barely hear it.

Put the subtitles up, too. - Yeah, I'll just put

the captions on.

(slapping)

- Oh my God, that's so much better.

- I'm fine, I'm glad it's sex shot.

I've never actually been inside one of those.

- What? - No.

- How have we lived together for this long?

We haven't been to a sex shot.

We have to go.

- When are you going?

Who's taking you to the sex shot?

- I go all the time.

Have you seen them?

You haven't seen like those little tiny bikinis

that are like super small, like the--

- Is that really a problem? - Micro-kinis?

Yes, that's how I get them.

That's why, 'cause they're so fucking sliddy.

That's the only place you can get them.

- I thought those were ordered online or something.

- No, because the ones on Amazon are just like,

they're shit, they last for like a day.

And then the strings will be too short.

- That makes sense.

I feel like it's always really cheaply made.

- Yeah, just like, shit stuff.

Yeah, go to sex shot because they'll have like

the best microkinis.

And then like little waste chains and stuff that you can

like, accessorize. - Yeah, like the halteries

and stuff. - So it's not all just like

sex stuff, but also like, - Yeah.

- did you see they made this new dildo that's like uncut.

It has like the force little-- - So it's like--

- Yeah, so you put lube in it, and like the force can move.

- That's not very kosher. (laughs)

- But like, I'm so down, that sounds like cool.

- They have all sorts of shit now.

- Like I wanna go and just get some like gag gifts

or something for the-- - Yeah, no they have, yeah,

they had like dick popsicles and--

- Oh, we should have like a dick themed party.

That'd be hilarious.

- That's funny. - Ah, I'm so down.

Oh, we should find a prayer assistant.

That took a pot spot. - Oh, they're practicing like a knots.

Rope knots.

- Oh, I kinda learned not to pay attention to that.

I'm pull that out on my next 10 to eight.

(laughs)

He looks so confused.

He's like, what do you do? - Yeah.

- Oh wait, he just-- - Watch her leave him

in the like ropes.

- Dude, I kinda would if he was pissing me off.

I'd be like, bye boy.

Untie yourself. (laughs)

Oh my gosh, he totally did just leave him.

I can't believe that. (laughs)

I feel like it could, how hard do you think it is

to untie yourself from that? - Oh, that would be so impossible.

- And she's all yelling at her little slave man.

- Oh my god, her boots aren't tied for it.

- Those literally go all the way up to her fucking pussy.

- I love it. - That's the girl from the--

(clapping)

The Good Place. - Yes, she is.

- The Good Place. - She's like the robot

in the Good Place. - Oh my gosh.

- She's great in that. - I know she's--

- And this is the first actress I recognized on this show.

- Yeah, exactly, yeah, precisely.

But she's new or two because that,

the Good Place is the first time that I saw her.

- She has a really distinct looking face too.

- Yeah, it's like an alien. - That was like a fan-stay

recognition. - She reminds me of a sim.

- Yeah, true, true. - Like how like a simulation thing.

So I guess like the casting was great for The Good Place.

- Oh my god, that was the best cast I've ever seen.

- I really liked that one though.

I've seen how all the series are, the seasons that they have out.

- Yes, yes.

- Yeah, no, that was a good one.

I kinda didn't like some of the ending, but...

- I know, I feel like it kinda went weird at the end.

- I stopped watching it. - I feel like they didn't know

where to take it, you know? - Yeah.

Because they did such a good job on the first season.

- Well, the whole idea was good, they were like,

"Okay, we have the place that's good,

"and then we have a place that is bad."

- Yeah, and then there was the middle place.

- And then they were like, "Okay, plot twist.

"This is the bad place."

And then just like, from then on, I don't know.

They could have done better.

Oh my god.

Her whole fucking outfit, wait, she just stood up

and I just can't even. - Oh yeah, her skirt is so cute.

- So cute. - So cute.

- I stayed the whole room with the pink and the black,

like, the latex.

- I know, I know, I love the lighting situation I got.

I kinda want that on my bedroom.

- Why don't we like, go for me to the living room like that?

Would you be the living room?

- Oh yeah, with the LEDs and everything.

Oh, what are they gonna do with that?

They just like put out a bunch of cellophane or whatever.

- Huh, I don't know. - Oh, they're gonna, oh.

Do you think they're gonna pee on him?

- I probably, that's probably what's gonna go down.

Or they're gonna put something on him, messy.

- Yeah.

He's in like a full-on-body-in-body-in-body-in-body-in-body.

- It's the same guy again in the last time.

- Yeah, but this time, like, he's gonna mess up

that fucking suit. - He looks, yeah.

- It looks like he just came from work.

He's like, look at, he's all in this one too.

He's like, hmm.

- I wanna wear just suspenders like the ginger.

- Daddy, oh. - That's kinda hot.

- Like Misty from Pokemon. - Oh my god, check this out.

- The red suspenders, I should totally cosplay.

- We should do like a whole Pokemon theme,

like group for Halloween. - That would be fun.

- Look, they have those like clear suits on,

so they don't get them. - I kinda abdict though.

- They look so professional. (laughs)

- Yeah. - They're like,

we're here to get things wet.

- You guys have really good taste in shows.

- Yeah, this is a good one.

- I kinda just like trust that algorithm.

- Right. - I've never seen this

so do me wrong, like the suggestions I gave to me.

- There's so much to watch these days.

- Yeah.

- I like how they're putting raunchy stuff on them.

- Yeah, they're really testing the limits with things.

I like it.

Okay, her whole looks such a vibe. (laughs)

You think he's, so you've seen like, like previews for him.

- I've just seen like previews, yeah.

- Oh, okay, I thought you saw the show,

'cause I have no idea what's on here,

but it's like, oh, he's intrigued.

I wanna do like half the stuff they're doing on here.

- Mmm, I bet you they have like,

isn't it called like a dungeon or something?

- Yeah, yeah, I feel like these rooms are kind of similar,

they have some stuff like that.

- Yeah, I bet you they have like a safe place

you can go explore whatever you wanted to explore.

Take your date there.

- Oh really? - Yeah, a little horror.

- That's fucking candy. (laughs)

- Show me, really mean, isn't it? (laughs)

- What is going on? - I didn't know.

- I had no idea what the fuck is he doing.

- He's peeing on him. - It's he peeing on?

- Oh, he's peeing on you, right?

You're right, he's peeing on it.

- What else, like all the, was that cellophane?

What else is that for? (laughs)

These are short episodes, so Dan was already over peeing.

- Yeah, it's he's like, we're peeing on him and we're done.

- And we're done, that end there.

- Enjoy it. (laughs)

- I thought she was gonna pee on them too,

I was kind of excited to see.

- Maybe they lose confused, not first,

before he started peeing, maybe that's why they're confused.

- Yeah.

(laughs)

You guys wanna watch something else?

- Wait, do you wanna watch like an actual movie?

- Yeah, that was kind of the plan before.

- I'll watch something.

This is good cello. - Yeah.

- I was the gay guy though, and I look kind of sexy.

- Yeah. - That's no fair.

If guys are always either gay or taken,

I'm like all the good ones. - I know, right?

(laughs)

- And then you got the douchey roommate,

who's not in queue, of course he's a straight one.

- You can tell these are just a chat, all right, okay,

let's look at the, wait, let's look at the,

- Hey, do you want me to try to find something?

- I was gonna say, they have these like categories,

but sometimes they're dumb.

- Have you seen that new thing where it just says,

it's kind of like the shuffle button on your phone?

- What?

- Yeah, but it'll just like pick a random shower move,

and see what you can really get, we'll try that.

- Yeah, we can just skip it. - Yeah.

- That looks stupid.

- Do you want me to just store a couple things?

- No, no, no, I wanna watch a documentary right now.

- No, I'm not playing about.

- Alien. - Alien.

- No. - Maybe like something funny.

- Funny. - Well, wait, it's shuffle,

so it's just all, wait, can you shuffle like certain things?

- Oh, like the category. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - No, it doesn't give that,

well let's just go look at the conversation.

- Let's see.

Oh my gosh, wait, I didn't know they just released that,

do you wanna watch that? - Oh yeah, yeah, let's watch that.

- Okay, I was dying to watch that.

- Oh, yes, and she said, oh no.

- Oh my gosh, she is like, you may see the actress ever.

She was so good.

- Those earrings, what kind of a fuck?

Oh, that's my favorite part.

I have to make a sequel, 'cause I read this,

I read the books to this before they made the movie.

- There's, wait, I didn't even know there was books.

- So there's the book series,

and there's like six books in the series.

- Six books? - So they do it, like.

- So you get time to read all of that?

- I mean, you know, whenever I get a ride somewhere,

if it's kind of far, I go read in the car,

or if I get up a little early in the morning,

it's nice to have some meat wine, you know?

It's kind of like me to chapter, and it goes by quicker,

and they're not super duper long,

but they're really great books.

But yeah, I was dying for the movie to come out,

'cause I saw that they were making it,

and I hope it isn't flopped,

so they actually make the sequel.

- I mean, it could be, you know, the next big thing.

Oh, I didn't know they put him in the, I love him too.

- That was a good movie.

- He did really good with that one actress too,

who was like, his like love interest, or something.

They had really good on-stress chemistry.

They always have her playing, like the funny best friend sidekick.

Come on.

Oh, I think I like it so far.

I think they didn't do too bad.

What do you guys think?

- Well, that's a wine shirt.

- Thank you.

- Yeah, it's a movie, you're like dad and a barbecue guy.

- Dad bums.

- Yeah, but it's kind of hot.

- Hot dad buns.

- Hot dad.

- Dilt buns.

- Dilt.

Yeah, total dilt vibes.

Oh, but what is that?

Like weird striped hoodies thing.

- It's like bubblegum color.

- Like the best thing.

Where's the best time to wear a striped leather?

- That's all the time?

- All the time.

All the fucking time.

- This whole wardrobe of this movie is confusing me,

'cause I can't tell what time period they're in.

There's kind of some 90s vibes.

I don't know.

Like she's wearing pearls with a fancy blouse over there.

- That is kind of confusing.

- And then he's got this weird striped hoodie.

- Like he's a 16 year old boy or something.

- Yeah, what are we doing here?

He looks mad there.

He's so sticky.

- She always just has like a wrist.

- She's had this, I swear she's worn the same top,

but in different colors every season.

- Oh yeah, yeah.

I knew you'd notice that.

- Like it's literally been the same top,

just a different color.

Oh, that bitch just fell.

(laughing)

- She's wasted.

- Go home honey, you're drunk.

- Oh my God, how she stayed in.

- Well, she has literally faded.

- You ever experience that one girl depart?

- Yes, every single time.

- Oh my God.

There's always one that I talk to you air off of that girl.

- I'm always like the sober homie

every time I go out, so I'm always feeling like this.

- I'm the one that's like, wait, here, crash.

- Oh, yes, that actually is my girl.

That's me right there.

- Oh really?

Are you a lightweight or what?

- Don't lie, you call my hair bad for it.

If you're a hard one, I love you for that too.

- Okay.

- Right, homies, healthy homies, always.

(laughing)

- I need someone to like just keep all the fucking creepers

away, guys are always hitting me.

- Yeah, they are, you're the one.

That's why.

- I know, I just can't stand it.

- Between the two of us, we're like attracting too much

attention.

- They're like come to me baby, come to me.

You remember how we used to just like go in bed

and talk about boys all night like that?

- Yeah.

- Back in high school that was crazy.

It seems like it's like long ago but it wasn't like time.

It was been so fast.

(heavy breathing)

We just started doing that again, like we should have

sleepover, you know we live together,

we're like let's have sleepover, like we could like build a

fort and have popcorn.

Hey, was I gonna do this?

I totally forgot we ordered food.

Wouldn't you think it's gonna get here?

- Probably. - I'm not sure.

- I don't know, it was from the further location so I think

it's gonna be a little bit.

- That's true.

- God, I need to wash my hair later.

- Wow. - It's so very good.

- Yeah, it is really good.

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