Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So I got this new computer, and I have no idea how to use it.

Do you?

No, I mean, it looks nice, but girl,

I know nothing about computers.

I don't even know how to turn this thing off.

Yeah, me either.

But my stepson has a whiz at it.

So maybe he can help.

Yeah.

Jay, let's ask him.

Hey, mom.

You caught me?

Hey, son.

This is Jay.

Aw, he's even cuter than you said.

He's my friend-in-law.

Hi, Jay.

You know, you should meet my son sometime.

You guys would get along great.

OK.

Well, if that's all, mom, I need to go back to my homework.

Oh, no, that's not it.

We can't even turn the computer on.

I just got this new computer.

Well, did you try pushing power?

Which one's the power?

You don't know which one the power is.

It's-- right here, look.

Oh my gosh, Jay's so smart.

It's not a big of a deal, mom.

I didn't know how to do it.

She didn't know how to do it.

Oh, yeah, and then you got to put in the password.

Oh, password?

Where do you do that?

Well, I mean, you have to push any key and it will come out.

Any key?

Mm-hmm.

Right?

Oh.

You guys are oblivious.

That is so easy.

What is the password, though?

So yeah, just type in the password.

You know the one dad gave us.

What?

What is the password?

You know, the one dad gave us.

So go ahead and type that in.

So, uh, OK.

Password.

Yeah, and so, yeah, you type the password in and then the computer opens.

Oh, OK.

OK, and then, like, how do we, like, do the internet thing?

You got to open a browser.

A browser?

How do we open a browser?

What's a browser?

You push start, and then you select browser and you click on it.

Um.

Oh, well, what are you doing?

Start or start.

Um, how do you--

What's one to learn on the computer, mom?

Yeah, please, help me.

I don't know what I'm doing.

OK.

I still--

OK, hold on.

I'll do it.

So now that you got the password in, then you push start.

OK.

I'm, like, over here.

I think it's right there.

I think that's the--

It's next to the space bar.

All right.

There we go.

That's OK.

Now things are happening.

OK, what do I do now?

Just click on it, mom.

OK, I'm trying.

Oh.

Wait.

Something-- something's going on.

OK.

I think it's right there.

OK.

I'm trying.

OK, I'm trying.

Oh.

Wait, something-- something's happening.

Maybe that over there?

Oh, OK.

This is so confusing.

You gotta click on that.

OK, I am.

I'm trying.

I'm so confused.

You just keep trying, mom.

I do.

[CHUCKLING]

Hmm.

Yeah, I don't even know, like, what everything means.

Oh.

You know what it takes a little time sometimes to learn?

Don't be scared.

I want to let you french fry.

OK.

Yeah.

OK, so you sign next to the space bar.

Yeah.

Oh, that worked.

OK.

Yeah, and select the program you want to open which is browser.

Browser, browser, browser.

Over here?. Okay. No you did it. Oh. That wasn't too bad. Okay. Not that you've done it. Why don't you let my mom try it.

- All right, so you figured it out.

- Yeah it's just starting the browser, mom.

- Okay.

What is this?

What just happened?

Why is it working?

Oh wait, they flipped it wrong, okay.

- There you go, yeah, click on that one.

- Oh okay.

- It'll open.

- Okay, cool.

(clicking)

All right, we're good.

- Good, so now you have to open accounts,

so why don't let your friend open the account.

- Okay, will you help me open the account?

Yeah, I need to open it.

Okay, start profile,

or no, that's not, open accounts.

Now I wanna see like putting so much info.

- You're doing it right, yeah.

Just click on the one you wanna open.

(clicking)

Okay, I think it's, is this right?

Is it open?

Is it, you got it?

- Yeah, you're doing good.

- I think.

(clicking)

- Oh, okay.

(clicking)

Mm-hm.

- See, now you have an email account.

Now you can actually, when you get on there,

your browser settings will be the same.

- Oh.

- She needs to create one, so why don't you create your account?

- Mm-hm, browser.

Okay, so how do you do this?

- You guys are learning fast.

- I think I'm getting the hang of it.

- I think you're.

- Yeah, you're really good.

Hopefully I can do, as good.

- Yeah, she had no problem with that.

She learned pretty fast.

(clicking)

(clicking)

- Okay, how would you do it?

- Oh.

- You're doing the right one, just keep clicking.

- Okay, all right.

- Just keep clicking.

- Thank you.

(clicking)

- Okay, there you go, please.

- All right.

- Just this, you can tell me what you're doing.

(clicking)

- So now, just tell me what your email,

you want me to make up something.

- Okay.

- Oh.

- And, what should I do?

- Please.

- Just pick a word.

Just pick that something that's easy to remember,

and then you're going to select the passwords.

- Okay, all right, I got this.

(clicking)

Okay.

And now it's, do it and stay.

- Do it and stay.

(clicking)

- Okay.

(sighs)

- Did I do it right?

- Yeah, looks like it worked.

- Okay, cool.

- So now, you just have to let her log into hers,

and then she can learn how to use the browser.

- Okay.

- And then she can turn it into.

- All right.

- All right, so just log back into your account,

and then you're going to practice using the browser.

- Okay.

The browser's a search thingy?

- Yeah, now that you have an email,

it's gonna remember all your search searches and stuff,

and your account password and all that.

So, if it asks you to remember the password, just say yes.

- Yes.

- Okay, say password.

- Now what?

(groans)

Oh.

(clicking)

- So now it'll let you search.

You just type in the search bar, whatever you want to look for.

(groans)

- You see how that works?

- Yeah.

- All right, now what?

- Hopefully, I remember all this thingy.

- All right, now you try it.

- All right.

Why are you doing what he's not here? (laughs)

- You guys are running quick, I think.

- I don't know, I don't know if I can do this.

Oh.

Okay.

(mumbles)

(chewing)

- All right, one more minute.

That's my last handy.

(laughs)

(slurps)

- All the same.

(sighs)

(slurps)

.

(slurps)

(swallowing)

(slurping)

(slurping)

- Hey, how you doing?

- Thank you guys.

Another basics now.

- Thank you.

- What was this all about anyways?

- Well, we just, we had to learn the computer first.

- Okay.

- We're gonna need your help with something else on here.

- Okay, well I gotta do my homework.

Okay, I'll see you guys later.

- All right, see you soon.

(upbeat music)

- Hey mom, what's up?

- Hey, we need help on our social media profiles.

We have no idea what we're doing.

- So, did you register?

- Yeah.

No, we need help like setting up our--

- We need help doing everything.

- She doesn't even know what I'm talking about.

So you have to use the email I gave you

that we registered for the browser, right?

- Oh, that email. - Use that to sign up.

- Okay, all right.

- And then you're gonna get a confirmation code,

- Okay. - once you use your email.

- All right. - And then make sure

you make a password that's easy to remember.

- Okay, let's see. - Let's see, the password.

- Probably the same ones we used earlier.

- Yeah, that way let's go, right? - Okay, so remember it.

- Got that. - And then you should both

like compare notes and look at each other,

but turn around so I can see the phones too, if you want help.

- Oh, oh, oh. - Okay.

- Okay, so-- - All right.

- It looks like you're doing the--

- You're doing the right thing.

- And we got two. - Hmm.

Oh, like, okay.

And then-- - Yeah, let's never

got the right information. - Register, okay.

- Verify. - Yep.

Okay.

- Do I want to make my profile?

- Yes. - Yeah, we have to use

this code I think, the four digit code.

- Yeah, yeah I think so. - Yeah, the code that comes

to your email. - Okay.

- Oh, okay. - How do you do that?

Oh, okay, so we have to go to our emails.

- Okay, yeah. - Okay, so I think we have

to like copy that number. - Okay.

- And then we put the number in.

- Okay. - The one that comes in your email.

- Okay. - Oh.

Okay. - Great.

- And then, oh. - And then, oh.

- So now, now our emails verify.

- Yeah. - Okay, the emails verify.

- Hmm.

- What do we do next?

- Once you're verified, then you can log in.

- Okay. - Oh.

- All right, cool, we can log in now.

That's what I'm doing. - Yay.

- And then add friends. - Okay.

- Yeah, I heard you can like add like old high school people.

And like high school sweethearts and stuff.

- Really? - Yeah, you can add anybody.

- Oh my gosh, I'm the one who's trying to log in.

- Okay, how do we search for people?

- Okay, I'm logged in.

Yeah, where's the search?

J, where's the search? - On the button, this is search.

- Oh, okay.

Oh, there it is.

- All right.

(Amy groans)

- We should look up first.

- Oh wait, so how do people know it's us though?

Do we have to like?

- Yeah, how do we add them? - How do we add a photo?

- You have to take one with your phone of course.

- Okay.

- Don't you have some on your phone? - Use your phone.

Like you have someone there.

- Oh, yeah, I already have tons of phones.

- Yeah, I take a lot of pics too.

- Which one should I take?

- Oh, I love that the booty one.

- Wow, that was really cool.

- That's a good one of you, you shouldn't pick that one.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- Oh, this is so exciting. - Yeah.

- Oh. - We have so many friends.

- Oh, now there's a bio?

What's a bio, J? - Oh, yeah, what?

- That's where you tell them about yourself.

- Uh, what are we gonna say?

- Why do we have to do this?

- Like a little story about this. - Like a little story about us?

- I mean, what does it even matter?

- What are you gonna write?

- You could put anything, guys don't care.

- I don't know.

I mean, okay, I guess like where we're from,

what we like to do. - We liked, like to, like,

should I put my favorite food?

- Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.

- Do people care?

- Yeah, I mean, we gotta put something.

Just switch right what you like to do, you know?

- Oh, what about my favorite color?

Should I put my favorite color? - Yeah.

- J, is that what people do?

- You put your favorite animal.

- Whatever you want.

- All right.

- Should we put like where we went to school?

- I don't know.

- Should we? - Like our old high school,

so people can find us?

- I guess, yeah. - From high school?

- Maybe. - Oh.

- Yeah.

- Oh my gosh, look, there's our old math teacher.

- Oh, whoa.

I always had a crush on him.

- Me too, he's so cute. - No?

- No way, let's friend him. - Okay, okay.

- Then he wants to hook up. - Yeah.

- This is so fun.

- Mm.

- Okay, it's-- - It's hiding so many people.

- Yeah, it's just like, add anything we see that we have.

- Right? - Yeah.

- Add everyone.

We're gonna have so many friends, so many followers.

- How do you like put things on your page?

- How do you post, yeah.

How do you add this?

Like if I wanna share just what I did today, J,

how do people know that?

- They all know, once you add them as a friend,

they'll look at you.

- But like, how do I like post it?

Like.

- You have to upload, type some texts.

- Okay.

- And then click send.

- All right.

- Where is the upload?

Where is it?

- See, you guys are learning fast.

- Yeah, thanks for getting the hang of this.

- You're so smart.

Thanks for helping us.

- There's like funny stuff.

People post funny things.

- Yeah dude.

- What if anyone like shares something

that I see that I think is funny?

- Yeah, how do you do that?

- Click repost.

- Oh.

Oh, okay.

All right.

(sighing)

What about like, what if,

like my high school enemy like, adds me or something.

Like how do I like, I don't want that bitch seeing my page.

So how do I prevent that?

- That's a good question.

Like, can you like block people?

- Of course, just click block.

- Oh, where do you find them?

Block them.

Oh, okay.

Right next to their profile pic,

there's like a little menu.

And you can delete them, it says, or you can block them.

- Got it, okay.

- That's good, you know.

- Yeah, that's cool.

- I'm blocking her right now.

- Yeah, I gotta block some people too.

There's a lot of big bees then.

- Should we add what sports we played

or we too old to even care about that anymore.

- I feel like it was so long ago.

- Like no one's gonna care.

It was a cheerleader 12 years ago.

- I can add whatever you want.

- Cheerleaders are awesome.

- I love that you're a cheerleader.

- So cool.

- Maybe I'll add it then.

- Yeah, I'm gonna add like my art stuff, dance.

I wonder.

Is it weird if I put my kids on here?

I mean, should people know that?

- Do you want them to know?

- That's a part of my life.

I feel like I should add that.

- Yeah, yeah, definitely.

- Okay.

So just add some more pictures of my family.

so what if, okay so what if I post something?

'Cause I'm like drunk or something.

And then like, oh.

- Okay.

- What if, okay so what if I post something?

'Cause I'm like drunk or something.

And then like, I don't want it there anymore.

- Right, like, how do you like delete it?

- Jay, how do we like get rid of stuff

that we already posted on the internet?

Get rid of stuff that we already posted.

- You can delete.

- How do you delete it?

- There's a little trash can looking button.

- Trash can, of course.

Oh, in the little m- okay.

Oh, got it.

Good to know, 'cause you know,

getting drunk and going on social media,

like it beholds ideas. - Right.

Definitely.

- I wonder if you can like delete a message

you send to someone or something.

- I don't know.

I've never sent a message.

That's a good question.

How do we send a message?

- Yeah, I don't know.

- Like what if I wanna tell you something

but I don't want anyone else to see it?

I only want you to see it.

- Yeah, how do we do that?

- You can send it to where all your friends

can see your post, but that's it.

- But I can't just send--

- Otherwise it's public.

- I can't just send something to Sage.

- Oh, DMs, that's called the DM.

- A DM, what's a DM?

- It's a direct message.

- Direct message. - Oh my gosh,

I always wondered what that meant.

Oh, that makes so much sense.

- You guys don't know anything.

- We're just learning.

That's why we need you to help us.

This is new for us.

- Yeah.

hmm

hmm

hmm

well i think you guys got this yeah thank you for helping us yeah yeah jay thanks for your help

okay appreciate you anytime mom thanks son you'll be an expert in no time thank you

okay mom what's up hi here's your call me again uh yeah we want help with our tinder profiles

tender yeah tinder so like you're trying to get a date yeah

you sure you're okay with that yeah are you i mean yeah i mean i guess you've

dad's been gone for like a year now so yeah i don't i don't want you to be unhappy so i'm sure

he's moved on so why not yeah exactly help help your mom out yeah so so like what what exactly

is tinder how do we i know it's like a day how does it work well did you sign up or can't yeah

yeah come show us how well you got to upload sexy pictures if you want to get sexy pictures

well like revealing pictures oh um can we take some like i mean we both look kind of cute

can't we just like take them now yeah okay let's like do some photos right now okay yeah because

we're like all dressed up and stuff right yeah that'd be good like dirty pics yeah okay yeah for sure

okay

gee where do i put so if i take a picture like then what

Oh, and you can like like or dislike people so swipe right for you. Yes left for no,

okay okay sorry I'm just confused and then what's this like mile thing? You set the

distance of how far people you hook up with are okay okay so I'm gonna make

sure close easy access for sure and you oh you can pick men or women or both what

What are you gonna do?

- Um, a boat with a double boat.

- I'm thinking boat. - Oh, yeah.

- Sounds fun.

(sighs)

(sighs)

[humming from the microphone]

How long should I make my bio? I don't know. I was thinking the same thing. I don't even know.

Is it like the same as the other social media we made? Like put the same shit? I think so.

I feel like this one should be like sexier or funnier. Like we got to like get the guys attention.

Yeah definitely. Like maybe just like right I like to suck dick on there or something.

[laughing]

That's definitely bound to get some attention.

You're so smart.

Let me suck some focus.

[humming from the microphone]

Yeah, just like that.

[humming from the microphone]

Oh that looks so good.

[humming from the microphone]

Oh my gosh, every guy is going to swipe right on these. These are so hot.

[humming from the microphone]

Oh yeah.

Mmm yeah.

That looks so fucking good. Yeah.

[humming from the microphone]

Oh yes.

These are so great. These look so fucking sexy.

Yeah, I like that. That kind of looks so good in your mouth like that.

Oh my gosh.

[humming from the microphone]

Oh yeah, just like that.

[humming from the microphone]

People are going to fucking love these.

[humming from the microphone]

That's so good.

[humming from the microphone]

Oh my god.

Ah yeah.

[humming from the microphone]

Baby yeah, I get it.

[humming from the microphone]

Yeah, it's so good.

Everyone is swiping right now.

[humming from the microphone]

[humming from the microphone]

[humming from the microphone]

[humming from the microphone]

Oh yeah.

[humming from the microphone]

Oh my god.

Your pose, you taste so good.

[humming from the microphone]

So what's this like you can link your other

social medias to the Tinder account?

You don't want to do that. Because then your friends will know.

[humming from the microphone]

I gotta eat that pussy.

What's a super like?

[humming from the microphone]

[humming from the microphone]

I super like this.

I love this too.

[humming from the microphone]

[humming from the microphone]

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah baby.

Oh yeah baby.

[humming from the microphone]

[humming from the microphone]

[humming from the microphone]

[humming from the microphone]

[humming from the microphone]

How do I message this guy?

[humming from the microphone]

But the option to message him isn't there.

(mimics crying)

I think he has to like me back. I can't message him until he likes me back.

(mimics crying)

Oh god, this guy is so hot. It's too weak.

Oh god.

(mimics crying)

Oh, he's, I think I got it. I've already matched with like four guys. Yeah, it's been like five minutes. Oh my god. This is so exciting.

(mimics crying)

I'm having the best time.

(mimics crying)

Oh, he's so cute. He's so cute.

(mimics crying)

Oh, that one too. Yes! Only two miles away. Oh my god, she's so close.

(mimics crying)

I'm gonna message him. Would you like to message him? Over and me, and my best friend.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Tell him how amazing your pussy tastes. Okay, I'm gonna say my Bia said to let you know that my pussy tastes so good. Cupcakes. Oh, cupcakes. I'm gonna put that. I love it.

(mimics crying)

I'm gonna tell him my Bia beth eats pimpy. He's really well. Oh fuck yeah. Maybe he'll want to watch. I hope so.

(mimics crying)

Wait Jay, if I mess with someone and then I decide that they're not cute because I liked him. Like, let's say I was drunk and swiped right-

Block him. Block him. Okay.

(mimics crying)

Oh yeah. (mimics crying)

Oh yeah. You're making my booty jiggle. We should put that right in your profile. Yeah we should. (mimics crying)

Jay, is it okay to put in my bio that I like free soaps? Yeah? Okay. (mimics crying)

(mimics crying)

Oh yeah. (mimics crying)

Oh he likes me back. Girl. This is so much fun. I know. (mimics crying)

Oh my god. (mimics crying)

Isn't this guy hot? Yeah he's so hot.

I'm gonna swipe right. You should definitely. There are so many hot guys and girls on here. Oh my gosh. Yes. This is so fun. Oh girl you have to get that one. Yeah. Oh yeah. Definitely swiping right. There's so many hoties on here. (mimics crying)

Yeah. (mimics crying)

(mimics crying)

Look at your shoulder. (mimics crying)

Oh yeah definitely swiping right on this guy. There's girls that love me with too many charms. I feel like I'm going to be a good girl. (mimics crying)

Oh yeah. (mimics crying)

(mimics crying)

Oh yeah. (mimics crying)

There are so many cute people here. (mimics crying)

Oh yeah. (mimics crying)

Yeah. Invite him over. Okay. (mimics crying)

Tell him you got two dates for him. Oh hell yeah. (mimics crying)

Tell him my best friends here. She's so good with her mouth. Oh yeah. Let him know. (mimics crying)

I don't even need a guy. Oh yeah, the more the merrier. (mimics crying)

(mimics crying)

(mimics crying)

Oh yes. (mimics crying)

Yeah. Mom, you like girls? Oh yeah. Yeah, I love girls. You didn't know? Mom, I didn't have to know that. (mimics crying)

I thought you were trying to pick up guys, not girls. (mimics crying)

I mean I guess you could. We like three some style. I guess you could share with your step son. (mimics crying)

Yeah. (mimics crying)

Yeah. (mimics crying)

Oh yeah. Oh yes, look at that pretty pussy. Oh, it looks so fucking good. Oh my god. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. (mimics crying)

(baby cooing)

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

(baby cooing)

(baby cooing)

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

(baby cooing)

♪ Oh yeah ♪

(baby cooing)

(baby cooing)

♪ Oh yeah ♪

(baby cooing)

♪ Oh yeah ♪

(baby cooing)

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

(baby cooing)

♪ Oh yeah ♪

(baby cooing)

(baby cooing)

(baby cooing)

(kissing chocolate)

(kissing chocolate)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

Really? A lot of matches?

Yes, that's the best.

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

There's like 15 already. 15.

Oh my god.

(groaning)

Oh yes, that looks so fucking good.

Oh yes, oh yes. Oh yes.

(groaning)

(groaning)

Mom, why don't you let Alana brows profiles for a minute.

I want you to let Alana brows some profiles.

Okay.

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

Oh hell yeah.

Oh that guy is so hot.

Oh another one with N5 for my love.

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

You can really stay focused on these guys when you guys are so hot.

(groaning)

(groaning)

I'm gonna expand my mile radius so I can get a few more guys on you.

I already rung out.

(groaning)

What are you doing down there mom?

I'm licking this pussy.

And I'm getting pics for my Tinder profile.

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

You wanna do matches mom?

Yeah I'm finding a bunch of matches.

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

So what is...

Oh God I love all these pictures.

How many new matches do you have?

There's like...

There's 20 now?

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

Thanks for helping us Jay.

You deserve a kiss.

(groaning)

I never knew you were this freaking.

Of course I am son.

I'm your mother.

Oh, stepmother.

You're single now so...

This kind of stuff is gonna happen.

Yeah with all our Tinder beats.

Yeah and just finding new girls.

We are you dating.

Me too.

Okay. Thanks son.

Thanks mom.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BLANK_AUDIO]