Original subtitles

And now, News Headline.

The Crystallite Ingot, a rare item used to craft high-level items, CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

has finally been located. CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

It was a two-member party that discovered this rare item, CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

whose drop location and drop conditions had been unknown. CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

They snuck into the nest of the White Dragon, which inhabits floor 55, CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

and it was there that they discovered the Crystallite Ingot. CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

Upon hearing the news, specialists dispatched investigators right away, CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

but the pair had already left. CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

Because their identity remains unknown, they say that it will be some time CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

before their Crystallite Ingot research can begin in earnest. CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

This has been News Headline. CRYSTALLITE INGOT RARE ITEM FOUND

SWORD ART OFFLINE (tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara

Hello, everyone. It's now time for Sword Art Offline.

I'm your host, A sun a.

And I'm your commentator, Kirito.

This is an info-variety show that will bring you news

on everything that's happening in Aincrad.

We'll be bringing you big-name guests every episode, so please look forward to them.

About that news of an undiscovered rare item being found,

what are your thoughts on that, Kirito?

A Crystallite Ingot is an incredibly high-level raw material,

so a fairly powerful weapon can be made from it.

It should even be useful for raiding Aincrad.

We've just receive a follow-up report on the Crystallite Ingot.

It turns out that this item is actually--

My apologies.

Um. As it turns out, Crystallite Ingot is actually White Dragon po--

What's wrong? If you can't read it, I can do it for you.

No, I'll read it.

Crystallite Ingot is actually a White Dragon's po... po... po...

Po?

Po... Poo... Poo...

I can't! It's just too embarrassing to read out loud!

A sun a! Don't force yourself!

No, Kirito! As a news anchor, it's my duty to fight through this!

Crystallite Ingot is actually a White Dragon's...

«::PO... POO... POO...

Poop!

Way to go, A sun a!

Thank you! I couldn't have done it without you!

And without further ado, let's get Sword Art Offline started!

SWORD ART OFFLINE (tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara

Trivia Master: Yui

Trivia Master: Yui Aincrad's unit of currency, the Col, is short for "Coin of Radius.”

Trivia Master: Yui

Trivia Master: Yui Aincrad itself is short for "An Incarnating Radius,”

Trivia Master: Yui meaning a world that is the embodiment of the desires of the players and Kayaba,

Trivia Master: Yui so Coin of Radius literally means "Money of Aincrad."”

Trivia Master: Yui

Trivia Master: Yui This is information that isn't in the original novels!

Trivia Master: Yui This has been Sword Art Trivia!

PLAYBACK CORNER

In this segment, we select various scenes from episodes

included on the Blu-ray or DVD and comment on them along with our guest.

And without further ado, let's introduce today's guest!

Here she is! Come on out!

Lisbeth, Blacksmith

Lisbeth, Blacksmith Hi, everyone! I'm Lisbeth!

Lisbeth, Blacksmith Liz! Welcome to the show!

I came, A sun a! How's Lambent Light working out for you?

I was just thinking of having it sharpened. I'll come to the shop tomorrow, okay?

Sure. I'll be waiting.

Kirito.

H-Hey, Liz.

Uh... So, how's that sword I made for you?

It's a great sword. It fits in my hand like it belongs there.

Right now, I don't think there's a better sword anywhere.

Does it, now? I'm glad it's been useful to you.

If it ever breaks, come to my shop. I'll see if I can fix it for you.

Sure. If it ever happens, you'll be the first person I see.

Huh? You two sure are hitting it off well.

Huh? No, we are not!

Hey, it's about time we got this segment underway!

If it were you... Let's say that after you married someone,

you discovered she had a side that you didn't know about...

...what would you think?

Liz, what would you do if you found out the person you married had a hidden side?

Hm... I guess it depends on what that hidden side was.

If he was violent or a total pervert, I might not be able to accept it.

Yes, that would be a bit much.

But it's exciting to find out that the person you love has a hidden side to them, right?

Wouldn't that be a case of incongruity-moe?

You know, like your heart skipping a beat when you see a bad boy rescuing a stray cat.

Yeah, maybe!

Okay, next up is this scene.

If that happens, it'll just be... too bad!

That was mean, smashing up my wares like that!

Kirito, I can't believe you did that!

Apologize to Liz!

S-Sorry, Liz.

Now that you mention it, you never paid me for that sword!

Oh, crap...

Come back here!

Let's move on to the next scene! Roll clip!

Unbelievable...

I never imagined that someone would ever try to climb a wall by running up it.

If there were a little more running space, it'd work.

You have higher dexterity stats than me, so maybe you could make it, A sun a.

I wonder? I wanna try!

Don't put weird ideas in Asuna's head!?

And A sun a, don't take the bait!

Fine...

And now, our next scene.

You'll. Give. Me. Half!

It was also like this back in episode 2,

but A sun a is really obsessive when it comes to food.

Wow, I never would have guessed. What, you don't normally eat good food?

Not you, too, Liz!

We were dealing with Ragout Rabbit there, a rare food item, so I got a bit obsessed!

Like they say, if it happens twice, it'll happen thrice.

If Starving A sun a turns up again, admit that you're food-obsessed.

Humph! There won't be any more scenes like that!

This has been Playback Corner!

SWORD ART OFFLINE (tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara

Trivia Master: Yui

Trivia Master: Yui Aincrad is famous for not having magic in its world,

Trivia Master: Yui but there actually aren't any projectile weapons like bows, either.

Trivia Master: Yui

Trivia Master: Yui It only has throwing weapons like the one that Daddy is using here.

Trivia Master: Yui That's a fairly unusual system, isn't it?

Trivia Master: Yui

Trivia Master: Yui This has been Sword Art Trivia!

KLEIN'S LIFE-COACHING CORNER

In this segment, Klein will solve the problems of various people

who live in the world of Sword Art Online.

He didn't come anywhere near solving the last person's problem...

Shut up! I'll straighten this one right up, so rest easy!

So, um, L. What seems to be the trouble?

consultee: I (alias) Oh. Um, this is about a friend of mine, see.

What should she do to be more feminine?

Oh. Um...

Well, not being feminine is subjective,

so I don't think that matters, do you?

No, it does! She has to become more feminine, no matter what.

Why is she so determined to be feminine?

Um, it's because... there's this boy... that she's interested in.

Ah, I see.

A sun a, speaking as a woman, do you have any advice for I?

L, I understand your situation!

I will help your friend in every way I can!

You? Um, A sun a...

There are many ways to become more feminine,

but the most effective is from the outside in!

From the outside?

Yes! Specifically, clothing, hair, and accessories.

Please describe your friend's appearance for me.

Um, she's short and has a baby face, so she looks young for her age.

Ah, I see. In that case, how about a matching outfit like this?

No matter what they say, boys like cute girls.

If your friend is short and has a baby face,

I think an elegant outfit like this would look good on her.

Neat dressers are also extremely popular.

If you wear this and play hard-to-get on the beach,

the boys won't be able to take their eyes off you!

A bit of healthy sex appeal is important, too.

If you bury the sex appeal too deep, the boys will back off,

so let's put out some cute sex appeal with a miniskirt

while exuding purity with a white blouse!

Ah, I follow you...

Anyway, I've suggested three outfits that I think will work for sure!

If you want more, I'd be happy to provide them.

No, I think I'll do fine with these suggestions.

I bet my friend will be overjoyed.

If it's not enough, call me. I'll give you more advice.

A sun a?

Now, in my opinion--

Thank you, but we've already solved my problem.

We have? Dang it...

Thank you, A sun a.

I hope my friend can become a woman as ladylike as you someday.

You were totally useless, man.

Oh, shut up! Next time! Next time, I'll be sure to solve it!

This has been the Life-Coaching Corner!

SWORD ART OFFLINE (tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara

The time has come to say goodbye.

Liz, how did you enjoy your time with us today?

It was fun to see a side of you that I didn't know about, A sun a.

You act like a different person around Kirito than when it's just you and me.

I-I do?

I guess you're not as dependable as I thought, Kirito.

Quit making A sun a do all the work, and start pulling your own weight!

I'm not any good with this kind of stuff.

And you, Klein... Maybe you could try a bit harder?

You didn't offer much in the way of life coaching.

Bite me!

I could've solved your problem if A sun a hadn't butted in!

Let's meet again in the next Sword Art Online video!

Bye-bye!

Sword Art Offline was brought to you by Lisbeth's Smith Shop,

whose adorable owner will craft you powerful weapons at a reasonable price.