Original subtitles

And now, News Headline.

An incident occurred at around 6PM today, TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

in which players' avatars were forcibly disengaged TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

by a mysterious figure calling himself AKIHIKO Kayaba, TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

causing the players to revert to their real-world appearances. TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

As a result, many female players TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

were revealed to be men pretending to be women, TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

so-called "net-vestites.” TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

The game world has descended into chaos. TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

However, the fact that some cross-playing men were attractive as women TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

has led some male players to turn up to court them TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

even though they are the same gender, TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

causing the chaos to spread even further. TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL

This has been News Headline.

SWORD ART OFFLINE (tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara

Hello, everyone. It's now time for Sword Art Offline.

I'm your host, A sun a.

And I'm your commentator, Kirito.

This is an info-variety show that will bring you news

on everything that's happening in Aincrad.

We'll be bringing you big-name guests every episode, so please look forward to them.

By the way, Kirito, about that headline...

Why do some players log in with female avatars even though they're men?

Hm, there are various reasons,

but the simplest one is because they want to be pampered, I guess.

Pampered?

Even though they're men, they want to be pampered by men?

Well, the male-female ratio in the world of net games is overwhelmingly male.

So if they're a female player,

they're more likely to get backed up in battles, be given items, and so on.

Then it's not because they're crossdressers,

or because they like men even though they're men?

Well, some of them might be like that...

I suppose transformation fantasies also play into it.

Transformation fantasies?

Sure. Some folks want to be the cool hero,

and some want to be the cute princess.

I wonder if Kirito has ever wished he could be a princess?

If that happened, I'd be the prince and be like,

"Princess Kirito, I shall come for you!"

"Sir A sun a, you mustn't!"

"I would gladly lay down my life for you!"

Hello? A sun a?

It's nothing!

Without further ado, let's get Sword Art Offline started!

SWORD ART OFFLINE (tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara

Trivia Master: Yui Although an avatar's face and physique cannot be changed,

Trivia Master: Yui hair style and color can be freely customized.

Trivia Master: Yui Let's all see what we can do with it!

Trivia Master: Yui This has been Sword Art Trivia!

Trivia Master: Yui

PLAYBACK CORNER

In this segment, we select various scenes from episodes

included on the Blu-ray or DVD and comment on them along with our guest.

First, let's introduce today's guest.

And here he is. Please come out!

Klein, leader of Furin Kazan Guild And here he is. Please come out!

Klein, leader of Furin Kazan Guild Hey, there!

Klein, leader of Furin Kazan Guild I'm Klein, messenger of love and justice!

Klein here is the first player that Kirito met, and is one of his very few friends.

You didn't have to say "very few"...

And now, let's play back episodes 1 and 2 of Sword Art Online with Klein.

Make sure you don't miss any scenes of me being awesome!

First, let's look at this scene from episode 1.

Right in the crotch...

You're so over-the-top.

Klein, you are seriously getting your butt kicked here.

Why this scene...?

Incidentally, this blue boar is a monster that's about as weak as a Slime

in a certain nationally-popular RPG.

- So lame... - Bite me!

I was a beginner, what did you expect?!

And now let's look at this scene, also from episode 1.

Who are you?

And who are you?

I was terrified here, and that's no joke.

True. In games, your game self tends to look different

than your real world self a lot of the time.

I knew it, he's been girls in other games...

What's wrong, A sun a?

Oh, it's nothing!

Um, moving right along, let's look at this scene from episode 2!

You got left out, too?

I wasn't left out.

Everyone else seemed to be friends already, so I just stayed out of it.

A sun a was totally scary here...

I know, right? I thought I was gonna get stabbed!

You still get that look on your face sometimes.

I do not! Let's move on!

Um, this next one is also from episode 2.

A sun a, you've had it rough, haven't you?

You were that hungry?

No! I didn't have the luxury to be fussy over what I ate back then,

so when 1 ate something delicious for the first time in ages, I couldn't help myself.

Even so, girls aren't supposed to eat like that, you know?

You're tearing into it like some kind of starving, flesh-eating beast.

Kirito, you're so mean...

Hey, looking back at you like this, your personality's changed quite a bit, hasn't it?

Yeah. I guess I have Kirito to thank for all that.

Okay, that's enough of that! This has been the Playback Corner!

SWORD ART OFFLINE (tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara

Trivia Master: Yui The level margin needed to raid safely is the floor number +10 levels.

Trivia Master: Yui That means that when Daddy and his friends fought Floor 1's boss,

Trivia Master: Yui they were at roughly level 11.

Trivia Master: Yui Keep that in mind for later reference, okay?

Trivia Master: Yui This has been Sword Art Trivia.

KIRITO'S LIFE-COACHING CORNER

In this segment, Kirito will solve the problems of various people

who live in the world of Sword Art Online.

Um, I'm not sure if I'm qualified to be offering anyone life advice...

It'll be fine! I know you can do this, Kirito!

Well, I'll give it a shot...

And now, let's meet today's consultee.

consultee: K (alias)

consultee: K (alias) Please tell everyone your name.,

consultee: K (alias) My name is K.

So, what seems to be your problem?

Well, I'm not very popular with the ladies.

I see.

I'd heard that that bum, Kirito,

er, that swell guy, Kirito, is a chick magnet.

I'd like to know your secret.

No, I'm not all that popular with women.

Grr...

But you're close with the lovely Vice-Commander of the Knights of the Blood Oath.

Gosh, "lovely"...

And I hear that you're also chummy with Silica,

the short sword wielding, little Idol Beast Tamer,

as well as Lisbeth, the tsundere blacksmith babe.

Kirito...

H-Hang on, A sun a! Calm down!

You've got that scary look again!

Nothing's going on with me and those two!

Really! It's the truth!

I swear on my blade that I speak the truth!

All right. In that case, I'll believe you.

And you, K, don't make it sound like that.

I don't have that kind of relationship with those two.

I'm not good at dealing with people. And I don't know how to talk to girls, either.

Is this dude serious? That means he must be a natural Lothario.

Still, a guy like me managed to meet a girl like A sun a.

I bet there's a great girl out there waiting for you, K.

Grr!

Thank you for that wonderful story, Kirito.

And you hang in there, K.

This has been Kirito's Life-Coaching Corner.

- Hey, not so fast! - Klein?!

Kirito! Don't close the book on your consultee before he's persuaded!

S-Sorry.

And you, A sun a! You're the host, so don't go casually changing the topic like that!

I'm sorry.

And anyway, when you're giving people advice,

you start by being warm and inviting and hearing them out!

Oh, really?

You're supposed to listen to the person

and gradually discover the root of their problem!

Of course, you can't simply point out the problem.

Especially if the cause of the problem lies within the patient himself.

You have a frank, honest discussion,

and get him to realize that the source of the problem is inside himself.

I see...

If you have a specific suggestion or idea, you give them advice.

In my case, for instance, I shouldn't chase after girls

out of a blatantly obvious desire to be attractive to women,

but should instead take my time and interact with them honestly.

- Wow, Klein, that's amazing. - Really! I can respect that!

This is life coaching 101!

By the way, you just solved your own problem.

If you knew all that, why haven't you followed your own advice?

Lay off! You get frustrated if you know what to do and still don't see any results!

So you end up hitting on anything in reach.

Now that you mention it, I remember the time you tried to chat up that NPC girl.

Um, the results were a bit unexpected, but we seem to have solved Klein's problem.

Crap! This has been the Life-Coaching Corner!

SWORD ART OFFLINE (tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara

It's now time to say goodbye.

Klein, you were our inaugural guest. How did you enjoy yourself?

I came on the show thinking nothing of it,

so I never imagined that I'd be given my own segment!

Everybody! Look forward to my life coaching starting next time!

Yeah, yeah, knock yourself out.

Let's meet again in the next Sword Art Online video!

Bye-bye!

Sword Art Offline has been brought to you by Argus Co. Ltd.

Bringing your net life to life morning, noon, and night.