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1
00:00:06,806 --> 00:00:08,508
And now, News Headline.
2
00:00:08,908 --> 00:00:10,743
An incident occurred at around 6PM today,
TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
3
00:00:10,743 --> 00:00:13,613
in which players' avatars were forcibly
disengaged TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
4
00:00:13,613 --> 00:00:16,382
by a mysterious figure calling himself AKIHIKO
Kayaba, TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
5
00:00:16,382 --> 00:00:20,219
causing the players to revert to their real-world
appearances. TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
6
00:00:20,219 --> 00:00:21,320
TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
7
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,190
As a result, many female players TERROR
FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
8
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,426
were revealed to be men pretending to be
women, TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
9
00:00:27,426 --> 00:00:30,329
so-called "net-vestites.โ
TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
10
00:00:30,329 --> 00:00:32,798
The game world has descended into chaos.
TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
11
00:00:32,798 --> 00:00:33,366
TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
12
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:37,970
However, the fact that some cross-playing men were
attractive as women TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
13
00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:39,972
has led some male players to turn up to
court them TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
14
00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:42,475
even though they are the same gender,
TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
15
00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:45,478
causing the chaos to spread even further.
TERROR FROM FORCED AVATAR REMOVAL
16
00:00:46,178 --> 00:00:49,081
This has been News Headline.
17
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:56,923
SWORD ART OFFLINE
(tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara
18
00:00:56,989 --> 00:01:00,459
Hello, everyone. It's now time
for Sword Art Offline.
19
00:01:00,693 --> 00:01:02,228
I'm your host, A sun a.
20
00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:04,130
And I'm your commentator, Kirito.
21
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,333
This is an info-variety show
that will bring you news
22
00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:10,036
on everything that's
happening in Aincrad.
23
00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:14,941
We'll be bringing you big-name guests every
episode, so please look forward to them.
24
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:19,278
By the way, Kirito,
about that headline...
25
00:01:19,378 --> 00:01:24,150
Why do some players log in with female
avatars even though they're men?
26
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:27,787
Hm, there are various reasons,
27
00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:31,924
but the simplest one is because they
want to be pampered, I guess.
28
00:01:32,124 --> 00:01:33,492
Pampered?
29
00:01:33,559 --> 00:01:36,796
Even though they're men,
they want to be pampered by men?
30
00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:41,901
Well, the male-female ratio in the world
of net games is overwhelmingly male.
31
00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:44,437
So if they're a female player,
32
00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:49,375
they're more likely to get backed up
in battles, be given items, and so on.
33
00:01:50,109 --> 00:01:51,744
Then it's not because
they're crossdressers,
34
00:01:51,844 --> 00:01:55,748
or because they like men
even though they're men?
35
00:01:55,881 --> 00:01:59,619
Well, some of them
might be like that...
36
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:02,388
I suppose transformation
fantasies also play into it.
37
00:02:02,488 --> 00:02:03,789
Transformation fantasies?
38
00:02:03,889 --> 00:02:07,493
Sure. Some folks want
to be the cool hero,
39
00:02:07,593 --> 00:02:10,963
and some want to be
the cute princess.
40
00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:16,168
I wonder if Kirito has ever wished
he could be a princess?
41
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:19,905
If that happened,
I'd be the prince and be like,
42
00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:22,575
"Princess Kirito,
I shall come for you!"
43
00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:24,410
"Sir A sun a, you mustn't!"
44
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,613
"I would gladly
lay down my life for you!"
45
00:02:29,548 --> 00:02:31,450
Hello? A sun a?
46
00:02:31,884 --> 00:02:33,653
It's nothing!
47
00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:37,289
Without further ado,
let's get Sword Art Offline started!
48
00:02:37,523 --> 00:02:40,159
SWORD ART OFFLINE
(tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara
49
00:02:42,194 --> 00:02:45,398
Trivia Master: Yui Although an avatar's
face and physique cannot be changed,
50
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:49,468
Trivia Master: Yui hair style and
color can be freely customized.
51
00:02:49,468 --> 00:02:51,871
Trivia Master: Yui Let's all
see what we can do with it!
52
00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:54,573
Trivia Master: Yui This
has been Sword Art Trivia!
53
00:02:54,573 --> 00:02:55,608
Trivia Master: Yui
54
00:02:56,409 --> 00:03:02,114
PLAYBACK CORNER
55
00:03:02,648 --> 00:03:07,219
In this segment, we select
various scenes from episodes
56
00:03:07,319 --> 00:03:11,857
included on the Blu-ray or DVD and
comment on them along with our guest.
57
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:15,995
First, let's introduce today's guest.
58
00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:16,996
And here he is.
Please come out!
59
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,230
Klein, leader of Furin Kazan Guild
And here he is. Please come out!
60
00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:19,799
Klein, leader of Furin Kazan Guild
Hey, there!
61
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:22,668
Klein, leader of Furin Kazan Guild
I'm Klein, messenger of love and justice!
62
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:29,575
Klein here is the first player that Kirito met,
and is one of his very few friends.
63
00:03:29,675 --> 00:03:32,178
You didn't have to say "very few"...
64
00:03:32,511 --> 00:03:38,951
And now, let's play back episodes 1 and 2
of Sword Art Online with Klein.
65
00:03:39,351 --> 00:03:42,388
Make sure you don't miss any
scenes of me being awesome!
66
00:03:42,621 --> 00:03:45,458
First, let's look at this scene
from episode 1.
67
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:52,064
Right in the crotch...
68
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,767
You're so over-the-top.
69
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:58,704
Klein, you are seriously getting
your butt kicked here.
70
00:03:59,805 --> 00:04:01,407
Why this scene...?
71
00:04:01,607 --> 00:04:06,512
Incidentally, this blue boar is a monster
that's about as weak as a Slime
72
00:04:06,612 --> 00:04:09,148
in a certain
nationally-popular RPG.
73
00:04:09,281 --> 00:04:11,217
- So lame...
- Bite me!
74
00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:13,519
I was a beginner,
what did you expect?!
75
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:17,957
And now let's look at this scene,
also from episode 1.
76
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:20,493
Who are you?
77
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,528
And who are you?
78
00:04:24,997 --> 00:04:27,700
I was terrified here,
and that's no joke.
79
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:31,337
True. In games, your game self
tends to look different
80
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:34,039
than your real world self
a lot of the time.
81
00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:38,010
I knew it, he's been girls
in other games...
82
00:04:38,277 --> 00:04:39,612
What's wrong, A sun a?
83
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:41,914
Oh, it's nothing!
84
00:04:42,214 --> 00:04:46,185
Um, moving right along, let's look
at this scene from episode 2!
85
00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:48,254
You got left out, too?
86
00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:50,289
I wasn't left out.
87
00:04:50,389 --> 00:04:54,860
Everyone else seemed to be friends
already, so I just stayed out of it.
88
00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:58,931
A sun a was totally scary here...
89
00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:01,734
I know, right? I thought
I was gonna get stabbed!
90
00:05:03,068 --> 00:05:06,005
You still get that look
on your face sometimes.
91
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:09,408
I do not!
Let's move on!
92
00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:12,411
Um, this next one
is also from episode 2.
93
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:27,793
A sun a, you've had it rough,
haven't you?
94
00:05:27,893 --> 00:05:30,729
You were that hungry?
95
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:35,267
No! I didn't have the luxury
to be fussy over what I ate back then,
96
00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:37,870
so when 1 ate something delicious for the
first time in ages, I couldn't help myself.
97
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:43,843
Even so, girls aren't supposed
to eat like that, you know?
98
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,879
You're tearing into it like some kind
of starving, flesh-eating beast.
99
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:49,381
Kirito, you're so mean...
100
00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:54,553
Hey, looking back at you like this, your
personality's changed quite a bit, hasn't it?
101
00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:59,792
Yeah. I guess I have Kirito
to thank for all that.
102
00:06:01,293 --> 00:06:04,730
Okay, that's enough of that!
This has been the Playback Corner!
103
00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:08,234
SWORD ART OFFLINE
(tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara
104
00:06:09,301 --> 00:06:14,573
Trivia Master: Yui The level margin needed to
raid safely is the floor number +10 levels.
105
00:06:14,573 --> 00:06:18,611
Trivia Master: Yui That means that when
Daddy and his friends fought Floor 1's boss,
106
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,479
Trivia Master: Yui they
were at roughly level 11.
107
00:06:20,479 --> 00:06:22,548
Trivia Master: Yui Keep that in
mind for later reference, okay?
108
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,284
Trivia Master: Yui This
has been Sword Art Trivia.
109
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:31,790
KIRITO'S LIFE-COACHING CORNER
110
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:35,594
In this segment, Kirito will solve
the problems of various people
111
00:06:35,694 --> 00:06:40,232
who live in the world
of Sword Art Online.
112
00:06:40,599 --> 00:06:44,770
Um, I'm not sure if I'm qualified to
be offering anyone life advice...
113
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:47,740
It'll be fine! I know
you can do this, Kirito!
114
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,709
Well, I'll give it a shot...
115
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,913
And now, let's meet
today's consultee.
116
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:54,713
consultee: K (alias)
117
00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:56,682
consultee: K (alias) Please
tell everyone your name.,
118
00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:58,751
consultee: K (alias)
My name is K.
119
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:01,053
So, what seems to be
your problem?
120
00:07:01,186 --> 00:07:04,189
Well, I'm not very popular
with the ladies.
121
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,224
I see.
122
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,259
I'd heard that that bum, Kirito,
123
00:07:07,359 --> 00:07:10,996
er, that swell guy, Kirito,
is a chick magnet.
124
00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:13,899
I'd like to know your secret.
125
00:07:14,099 --> 00:07:16,368
No, I'm not all that
popular with women.
126
00:07:16,635 --> 00:07:18,137
Grr...
127
00:07:18,637 --> 00:07:23,442
But you're close with the lovely Vice-Commander
of the Knights of the Blood Oath.
128
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,744
Gosh, "lovely"...
129
00:07:25,844 --> 00:07:28,247
And I hear that you're also
chummy with Silica,
130
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:30,783
the short sword wielding,
little Idol Beast Tamer,
131
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:35,254
as well as Lisbeth,
the tsundere blacksmith babe.
132
00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:37,222
Kirito...
133
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,992
H-Hang on, A sun a!
Calm down!
134
00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,593
You've got that scary
look again!
135
00:07:42,294 --> 00:07:44,630
Nothing's going on with me
and those two!
136
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:46,699
Really! It's the truth!
137
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,535
I swear on my blade
that I speak the truth!
138
00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:52,204
All right. In that case,
I'll believe you.
139
00:07:52,404 --> 00:07:54,640
And you, K, don't make it
sound like that.
140
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,010
I don't have that kind of relationship
with those two.
141
00:07:58,844 --> 00:08:04,750
I'm not good at dealing with people.
And I don't know how to talk to girls, either.
142
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:09,588
Is this dude serious?
That means he must be a natural Lothario.
143
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:14,493
Still, a guy like me managed
to meet a girl like A sun a.
144
00:08:15,227 --> 00:08:19,398
I bet there's a great girl
out there waiting for you, K.
145
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:20,899
Grr!
146
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,570
Thank you for that
wonderful story, Kirito.
147
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:26,805
And you hang in there, K.
148
00:08:27,439 --> 00:08:29,908
This has been
Kirito's Life-Coaching Corner.
149
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,644
- Hey, not so fast!
- Klein?!
150
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:37,483
Kirito! Don't close the book on your
consultee before he's persuaded!
151
00:08:37,649 --> 00:08:39,284
S-Sorry.
152
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:44,123
And you, A sun a! You're the host, so don't
go casually changing the topic like that!
153
00:08:44,289 --> 00:08:45,457
I'm sorry.
154
00:08:45,557 --> 00:08:48,093
And anyway, when you're
giving people advice,
155
00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:51,263
you start by being warm and inviting
and hearing them out!
156
00:08:51,463 --> 00:08:52,765
Oh, really?
157
00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:55,167
You're supposed to listen
to the person
158
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:58,470
and gradually discover
the root of their problem!
159
00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:02,307
Of course, you can't simply
point out the problem.
160
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:05,911
Especially if the cause of the
problem lies within the patient himself.
161
00:09:06,011 --> 00:09:08,147
You have a frank,
honest discussion,
162
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:11,050
and get him to realize that the source
of the problem is inside himself.
163
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,351
I see...
164
00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:16,388
If you have a specific suggestion or idea,
you give them advice.
165
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:19,358
In my case, for instance,
I shouldn't chase after girls
166
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:22,027
out of a blatantly obvious desire
to be attractive to women,
167
00:09:22,127 --> 00:09:25,397
but should instead take my time
and interact with them honestly.
168
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,700
- Wow, Klein, that's amazing.
- Really! I can respect that!
169
00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:31,070
This is life coaching 101!
170
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:35,207
By the way, you just solved
your own problem.
171
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:37,509
If you knew all that, why haven't
you followed your own advice?
172
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:41,380
Lay off! You get frustrated if you know what
to do and still don't see any results!
173
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,383
So you end up hitting on
anything in reach.
174
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:50,322
Now that you mention it, I remember the
time you tried to chat up that NPC girl.
175
00:09:52,958 --> 00:10:00,299
Um, the results were a bit unexpected, but
we seem to have solved Klein's problem.
176
00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:04,870
Crap! This has been
the Life-Coaching Corner!
177
00:10:05,037 --> 00:10:07,739
SWORD ART OFFLINE
(tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara
178
00:10:08,373 --> 00:10:10,509
It's now time
to say goodbye.
179
00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:15,914
Klein, you were our inaugural guest.
How did you enjoy yourself?
180
00:10:16,181 --> 00:10:18,383
I came on the show
thinking nothing of it,
181
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:22,688
so I never imagined that I'd
be given my own segment!
182
00:10:22,821 --> 00:10:27,693
Everybody! Look forward to my
life coaching starting next time!
183
00:10:27,926 --> 00:10:30,496
Yeah, yeah, knock yourself out.
184
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:37,002
Let's meet again in the next
Sword Art Online video!
185
00:10:37,402 --> 00:10:39,471
Bye-bye!
186
00:10:40,939 --> 00:10:47,079
Sword Art Offline has been brought
to you by Argus Co. Ltd.
187
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:51,683
Bringing your net life to life
morning, noon, and night.
16436
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