Original subtitles

Mmm.

Thank you.

Read this to me, please.

"Scorpio... not like you to be lazy...

"but today it is an effort to exert yourself.

"Best to turn your attention to anything new...

"as this will be a stimulant.

Don't take a partner for granted. "

Ah.

Here's what I want packed.

The list of my...

accessories.

Oh!

Idiot! That one's at the cleaners.

Oh!

# Modesty #

# Modesty #

# She is the shadow on your bedroom wall #

# She is the dream you never found #

# But then you find no time to dream at all #

# Whenever Modesty's around #

# Modesty #

# Modesty #

# She'll strike you dumb with just a single glance #

# Or just a single glancing blow #

# Exactly why she slays so many men #

# No man alive will ever know #

# Modesty #

# Modesty #

# She'll turn your head #

# Though she might use a judo hold #

# And on her shoulders #

# A chip made of solid gold #

# If you're a master of the underworld #

# You'll be accepted in her queue #

# She is the perfect mistress of her art #

# She is the perfect mistress too #

# Modesty #

# Modesty #

Modesty Blaise?

Why on earth do we need Modesty Blaise?

We have our very best man on the job.

Oh, dear me. That's bad luck.

No use crying over spilt milk.

The diamonds must be got through to the sheik.

Hear! Hear!

Hear! Hear!

We've no alternative. We must have Modesty Blaise.

With your permission, sir...

a massive military maneuver to impress the enemy.

Hear! Hear!

Hear! Hear!

Fine. You don't even know who the enemy is.

And if the wrong people heard about it...

the sheik would lose his head.

We'll lose the oil concession.

Tarrant, who was that young person...

that you suggested?

The young lady's name, Minister...

is Modesty Blaise.

Ha ha! Use a thief to catch a thief.

You won't be able to persuade her, Tarrant.

She's retired, with a large fortune...

and planning to get married.

David will never forgive me for this.

You're fond of him?

He's the sort of man I could marry.

Modesty Blaise somebody's private property?

Never.

You appreciate, Miss Blez...

Blaise, sir.

Blaise... that what you are seeing is top-secret.

That is the kingdom of Casara...

Masara, sir.

Masara... scarcely large enough to be on the map.

About the size of England and Wales.

We turned everything over to the natives 10...

15.

15 years ago.

Since then, of course...

the place has gone to seed.

- The revolution, led by the sheik's first cousin...

Second cousin.

Second cousin... a man who claims...

to be a trade unionist.

Right-wing, of course.

Ah, that's the sheik himself.

Retired cutthroat called Abu Tahir.

I know him well.

Do you?

What do you want me to do?

For practical purposes...

Abu Tahir is a democrat...

and we support him.

In exchange for a small oil concession...

we are sending him a small contribution.

You have very pretty ears.

What sort of contribution?

�50,000 in diamonds.

Millions, Minister.

Millions, millions.

Who's trying to stop the shipment?

That is what we want you to find out.

It should be easy for you...

with your connections in the world of crime.

Adventure, surely.

Adventure.

If I help you, you will trust me completely.

You'll give me all the information.

Every bit, of course.

If you deceive me, I may take your diamonds.

Ha ha!

I take my fee in Swiss francs in advance...

and I want Willie Garvin.

Who's Willie Garvin?

No, Modesty.

Who's Willie Garvin?

I won't do it without Willie.

We've already checked on your Willie.

If you're prepared to transport yourself to South America...

cross two rivers full of alligators...

hack your way through a jungle...

and then seduce a military governor...

well, uh, perhaps.

Hello.

Hello, Willie.

Princess. Don't go away, love.

I am talking to a man who says you are in South America.

For you, I've just come back.

Doing anything, Willie?

Nah. Near nothing as makes no difference.

Oy! Let go.

Where is the fire, princess?

Are you free?

As a bird. What makes you think different?

I thought you spoke to someone.

Nah! Only to you.

Can you come now?

Now, yesterday, tomorrow...

You name it.

Now, Willie. I want you to come now.

'Course. I'm chuffed, princess.

I hate laying about, don't I?

Now? Why not?

Bye!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I don't know how much you know about Arab etiquette...

but the one thing to avoid above all is familiarity.

Ah! These chaps are as proud as Lucifer...

and a woman amongst Muslims...

has to be particularly careful.

- Bam! - Wham!

Thank you, ma'am!

Ha ha ha!

Sir George.

Uh, Sir Gerald.

It is the Muslims who must be careful with Modesty Blaise.

Entrez-vous, Sir Gerald.

He is here...

My son Modesty...

who is also my daughter.

I might have known you two would know each other.

Know each other? She is my son.

There must have been a technical problem or two.

Faith, Sir Gerald, can move mountains.

These are the sons of my body.

Sir Gerald.

Once upon a time...

a little girl comes to Masara...

all bones and eyes...

fierce and proud, like a...

like a...

eaglet.

With claws like so...

too fierce to be a daughter.

He made me his son and taught me how to fight.

After our country got independence...

a couple of idiot relatives of mine...

decided to move in and take over things.

Naturally, I sent for Modesty.

She came like a shot with Willie Garvin.

What a character!

Terrific guy!

We must take you grouse shooting this autumn.

A little present for you, my son.

For me?

It will help you in your work.

Ahh!

The most beautiful thing I've ever seen!

It's not functional, of course?

No, no, no, no! Don't, please!

It's pointing directly at Buckingham Palace!

Come, Modesty. We'll try the other window.

There's a better view from there.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

We're alone.

Modesty, who is the enemy?

I don't know yet.

There's only one man who would dare to steal from Abu Tahir.

But Gabriel is dead.

He's home, Mr. McWhirter.

Aye. On time, as usual.

McWhirter speaking. McWhirter speaking.

He is home.

He is home.

Dear Clara Fothergill.

Three and four.

One and two...

and three and four.

One and two...

and three and four!

You may rest.

It's your own fault, Basilio.

You eat too much.

Weakling!

Ugh!

Glad to have you back, Mr. Gabriel. How was the trip?

Tedious.

London was lucrative...

but Scotland remains the bastion...

of bonny-bred bluebell boredom.

We were nine for dinner.

A criminologist...

rather overeager...

with a floral tie and dandruff.

We talked about Gabriel.

He said that Gabriel had the only true criminal mind.

His only motive was malice.

Rather unkind.

Mamma was most amused...

and very condescending to me, as usual.

You know, McWhirter, one of these days...

I shall have to tell her who I am.

We've got the clown who tried to betray us.

Betray? We use overdramatic language.

"Gave us away" is quite enough.

Who do you mean... Crevier?

Aye. He arrived air freight from Amsterdam.

C.O.D.

Poor Crevier.

He suffers quite frightfully from cramp.

How delightful!

Ah! Enter Mrs. Fothergill.

Well, it's about time.

How are your tiny ones?

Mmm, not in shape, I fear.

Basilio manufactures carbohydrates!

Gabriel, you promised me Crevier.

That clown!

You promised!

You practically promised.

Si tu veux, cherie, mais va doucement.

Pas devant mes domestiques.

Now, you know I don't understand a word of your French.

Mrs. Fothergill has been restless...

in your absence, sir.

In the full moon, I fear for me life.

Quite without reason, McWhirter.

She wouldn't waste her energies on you.

Have you worked out the latest figures?

Aye.

The books look just fine at the moment.

Then I should allow a separate contingency of �50,000.

What for?

Modesty Blaise.

Is she with us?

No, alas.

Against us once again.

The totals for the month are rather below average.

On the other hand, the accounts for your trip...

are rather disquieting.

For example, sex in June... �30,000.

You've no sense of the true value of money, McWhirter.

Nevertheless, it all affects the final balance sheet.

I'm happy to say, on the other hand...

that the total for death...

is only �2, 17 and sixpence...

Crevier not included.

Yet.

You're not concentrating, McWhirter.

Come sit here in this chair.

How did you explain Crevier to the friar?

I told him he was an atomic scientist...

caught selling secrets in the public loo...

in the Piazza di Spagna.

Did he believe you?

He said he wasn't born yesterday.

If I may quote Merritt and Sykes...

Must you?

"Faulty financial analysis...

is a very common occurrence. "

"Where the financial implications of a project...

"have not been fully thought out...

some items in the investment...

"or some of the cash advantages...

may have been omitted. "

Carry on, McWhirter.

"Or the financial analysis...

"may have been performed in a way...

"that arbitrarily presents projects...

"in an unjustifiably attractive...

or unattractive way. "

"This is inevitably the consequence...

"of using crude methods...

such as the payback. "

If you knock down the value of the diamonds...

by another million or two in disposal...

it will leave your property only...

We're not in this for the money.

Then what, may I ask, are...

Dear Clara.

Have you ever wondered about Mr. Fothergill?

I am Mr. Fothergill.

This is the tallest building in Amsterdam.

I hope you enjoy your visit.

I'm looking forward to meeting this Modesty Blaise.

You warned immigration, of course.

Yes. She's not very popular with them.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Danke.

What on earth is Modesty Blaise...

doing in Rotterdam, Tarrant?

Amsterdam, Minister.

Amster... Rotter...

She's a decoy, Minister...

a decoy.

Honolulu.

The Maharajah's snuffbox.

Dublin. Ah.

Murder.

Well, Tarrant. Now, what on earth is Modesty Blaise...

doing on a canal boat?

Our new man is making contact...

through a mysterious third party, Minister.

Does she know that the diamonds...

are really on the Tyboria, Tarrant?

Oh, no, Minister.

We don't trust her. We merely use her.

"If you deceive me...

I may take your diamonds. "

- Ha ha! - Ha ha!

In front of you, you'll see ships...

from all over the world.

Tyboria, port of London...

Lisbon, Catania, Beirut.

A gauche, vieil Tyboria...

un cargo de Londres...

Lisbonne, Catania, Beyrouth...

Sorry about the explosion.

It doesn't happen every day.

I don't come every day.

Perhaps you will recommend us to your friends.

Maybe.

74 Haarlemmstraat, apartment C.

Tarrant, did you warn Miss Blaise...

about pushing doorbells in Amsterdam?

Good heavens!

# Da-da da-da-da-da-da-da #

# Da-da da-da-da-da-da-da... #

Pacco.

No.

Willie Garvin?

# Da-da-da-da-da-da #

# Da-da-da da-da-da-da-da... #

Danke.

Thank you.

Danke.

# Da-da-da #

# Da-da da-da-da-da-da-da #

What on earth...

is Willie Garvin doing, Tarrant?

Collecting canaries.

Canaries?

Criminal slang, Minister.

Canaries are birds that sing.

Birds are...

Oh, never mind. Never mind!

Mesdames et messieurs, bonsoir.

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.

Signore e signori, buona sera.

Introduciamos lo spettacolo di magica...

con la bella Melina.

And now, ladies and gentlemen...

I would like to introduce...

the charming, the beautiful...

Nicole!

Ladies and gentlemen...

now I'm going to introduce to you...

the best trick of the 20th century.

Mesdames, mademoiselles, et messieurs...

maintenant, quand on va montrer les oeufs...

voulez-vous, s'il vous plait, regarder I'oeuf...

et le signore avec un crayon noir?

Ca c'est le meilleur trick du vingtieme siecle.

How's it going, love?

Willie.

Come and tell me later.

I'm at 6 Bummstraat.

Ow!

Ahh!

Ow!

Mais, c'est mon cher Paul, dis-donc!

Jacquelyn?

That's not bloody funny. What are you doing here?

Oh, no.

It's Modesty Blaise.

Jacquelyn, you're not Modesty Blaise?

I thought you'd be pleased.

After Paris?

We weren't on the same side then.

Are we now?

Paris was a long time ago.

Only three years.

Only?

Three years, two months...

4 days, and 25 minutes.

You two-faced, cold-blooded, calculating...

Not cold blood, please.

Well, who cares?

O.K., then, Modesty Blaise.

What the hell did you do to the lights?

Nothing. I thought...

Even in our world...

fuses have been known to blow from natural causes.

Jacquelyn.

Modesty.

Mmm.

Were you deceiving me all the time in Paris?

Do you think I can control my heartbeats?

Quite probably.

I ought to strangle you.

Try.

Oh!

How do you get it off?

So is this bird about to talk?

Canary about to sing, Minister.

Well, Garvin is working on that assumption.

I hope it is not her swan song.

Heh!

Very sinister, Minister.

Now, how did you get it on?

Mmm.

Hmm?

How are you sending the diamonds?

By RAF aircraft from Schiphol...

at 10:00 tomorrow night.

Mmm.

Sounds like a very good plan.

Oh, I'm glad you approve.

Mmm.

Modesty.

Hmm?

Where did you go that last day in Paris...

when you said you were going to Balenciaga?

Christian Dior.

Where did you go that day in Rome...

when you told me you were going to Rio?

Huh?

Eh?

Oh, uh, Buenos Aires.

You're so cruel.

Who does Pacco take his orders from?

I don't know.

A bird.

You're so cruel.

Cruel? I haven't touched you yet.

No.

Fothergill speaking. Fothergill speaking.

Fothergill speaking. Fothergill speaking.

Tell Gabriel to get out of bed.

Modesty's in bed with Englishman.

Willie is in bed with Nicole.

What makes you think so?

Gabriel's dead.

Did you see the body?

If you say it's Gabriel, then it's Gabriel.

Woman's intuition.

Salaud!

All I said was "woman's intuition. "

What's the matter with that?

Salaud!

Now, stop acting like a bloody-minded female!

Aah!

O.K., it was Gabriel! It was Gabriel!

It was Gabriel! It was Gabriel!

It was Gabriel!

Ahh.

Now... I'm hungry.

You peasant.

All right. I'll see what I can find.

Aah!

# Ba-da-da-dee-doo... #

Modesty Blaise?

Pacco here.

Yes.

We have got Modesty Blaise.

Ah! Well done.

Five minutes late, Pacco.

You want Garvin?

Are you still underbudget?

If you haven't got them both...

you haven't got either.

You're a fool, Pacco.

Come on.

Ha ha ha ha!

So you'll ask him over?

You're giving the party.

Ha ha!

We catch them...

and that Fothergill woman...

catch the fun.

She knows. She always knows.

She's got an instinct for it.

Hello, princess.

I need you here, Willie.

She needs me here. Where are you?

Haarlemmstraat, 74.

Apartment C.

Apartment C. It can't wait...

about 15 minutes, can it?

No. Now.

Hey, will you stop that?

Listen, what about tomorrow?

Not here.

Where?

Uh... I don't know. Anywhere.

The old market.

Doll's House.

Now, listen. Get Pacco talking, O.K.?

Twist him around them little pins of yours...

and keep him spinning.

Uh... just like you do with me.

Oh!

Don't let it get cold.

Hello, Garvin.

Are you buying or selling?

I'm giving it away, actually.

Like you'd have to.

Garvin, that car's been over there...

for 10 minutes with its engine running.

Garvin.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Ha ha ha!

Mmm.

I say, Garvin, that was a bloody close shave.

If you'd been late...

Somebody had to take a chance...

and I'm chicken.

Well, that's well-known, isn't it?

Oh!

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

Ahh!

Faith, hope, and charity.

The wages of sin.

At least we're keeping her busy.

But you must decide what to do...

about Pacco's girl Nicole.

What have I done to deserve this?

Everyone in my organization...

behaves as if she was Mata Hari or something.

He asks for instructions.

It's too expensive.

Is he making the decisions now?

No, Clara.

No.

You know, McWhirter...

that woman has no sense of the value of human life.

Buon giorno, Fidello.

Good morning.

Arrivederci.

McWhirter...

take a letter to Pacco.

My dear Pacco...

the few of us who are responsible...

for the lives of so many...

bear a very heavy burden.

No. Carry a great weight.

A good general weeps...

when he is forced to send his troops into action...

and the tears of the widows...

Widows and orphans.

And the tears of the widows and orphans...

are his tears too.

Ohh.

Lost the thread.

- Nicole. - Oh, yeah.

Send a cable. Dear Pacco...

if the girl is alive tomorrow night, you won't be.

That's better, and cheaper too.

A bit crude.

Let's start again.

Pacco will understand.

Hmm. I suppose so.

He reads the comic strips.

No!

Aah!

Let me see.

It hurts.

Tell Willie...

Gabriel.

Oh.

Ah!

Willie... it's Gabriel.

So far, so good.

But no sign of Modesty.

I told her it would be 10:00.

She's not the sort who can resist temptation.

You should know.

Hmm.

Are you afraid she'd steal those empty boxes?

Heh heh heh!

Do you ski?

No.

Do you?

No.

G- control. Bravo Fox Trot.

G- control. Bravo Fox Trot.

G- control receiving you.

We are now in jet-stream conditions...

at 50,000 feet.

Estimate Beirut in 21/2 hours' time.

The pilot's got a charming voice.

About 35, I should say, wouldn't you?

Any dependents?

Just a wee minute.

Oh, here we are.

Squadron leader Latham of Woking, Surrey.

Hmm!

I very much fear he is married...

with two bairns, 6 and 9.

I was afraid of that.

Strauss!

- Yes, sir. - Is rocket base Ladino ready?

- Standing by, sir. - Good.

Yes?

Rocket base Ladino...

estimates 2 minutes, 23 seconds.

Thank you.

Oh, McWhirter...

the moment I always dread in these cases...

To light the fuse...

to push the button...

to squeeze the trigger.

Such exquisite torture.

We're all relying on you, sir.

Yes, torture.

Strauss!

Sir.

Tell Ladino rocket base...

go!

Jawohl, sir.

Ha ha ha!

Rocket base Ladino, all systems go.

Do you skate?

Skate?

When I was a child...

my parents took me tobogganing.

Oh!

Ah.

Hello?

Hello?

Do you hear me?

Hello?

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.

A father of two children...

probably with a split-level house in Woking...

and a rubber plant in the lounge.

No.

Why can't they be bachelors?

I'll get that bloody friar for playing scales...

in the middle of the night.

Sets my Presbyterian teeth on edge.

Religious intolerance, McWhirter.

Shouldn't we mourn them...

regardless of race or color or creed?

Rocket base Ladino reports seeing four parachutes open.

How marvelous! Wonderful!

Why four?

Those planes carry four.

Well, I didn't know that.

Tell the friar to play a te deum.

For what shall he give thanks for?

For me, of course!

Tyboria.

Lisbon, Catania, Beirut.

Well, I couldn't help it.

Tell me...

Hmm?

When did you discover...

that the, uh, plane was a blind?

Did it work?

Yes, it did.

They swallowed the bait...

and shot down the plane.

I'm afraid it's just a little warm.

I've been watching you, so I trust you.

Where are you going?

Bed.

Modesty, I...

I don't...

I mean...

I can't.

Thank you, Weng. How is everything?

All circuits are go-go.

Very well, miss, thank you.

Sweet. Sweet, isn't he?

Yeah.

"Sorry, darling. "

Modesty.

"Sorry, darling," it says here.

"You broke your part of the bargain.

"I now consider myself a free agent.

Modesty. "

She, uh... she knows, sir.

She knows the diamonds are on the Tyboria.

Well, we fooled Gabriel...

and now we're lumbered with Modesty Blaise.

Heaven protect my pension.

Hello.

- Hey. - Ah.

We wasted a million on that wretched rocket.

One has to do what is expected of one.

Now we have the advantage of surprise.

They think we're searching the Alps for wreckage...

but the diamonds are here...

in the strongroom...

concealed in a crate of porcelain...

Crown Derby to be exact.

Sir, from the Tyboria.

From the Tyboria?

Tyboria, Tyboria.

"Tyboria departed 1520 hours Lisbon. Stop.

"Modesty Blaise and Willie Garvin...

overflew 1600 hours approx. Stop. "

Silly dilettante.

I figure it this way, princess.

Gabriel's got it figured...

so I figure all we got to do...

is, uh, stay close to Gabriel.

Leave the figuring to me, Willie.

You might hurt yourself.