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1
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,440
[ Man ]
One, two. One, two, three!
2
00:00:31,964 --> 00:00:34,468
So I gave the cookies
you made to Fawn and the kids,
3
00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:36,704
and they couldn't believe it!
4
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,972
They were delicious!
But I digress.
5
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:44,378
Tremble, puny earthlings!
One day my race will
destroy you all.
6
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:47,280
[ Doorbell Ringing,
Footsteps Departing ]
7
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,417
Could one of you guys
get that?
8
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,323
[ Baby Cooing ]
[ Gasping ]
9
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,625
It's a doorbell baby!
10
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:02,630
Hello, little guy. You know,
I was abandoned as a baby too.
11
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,132
So--
Garbage, huh?
I'll take care of it.
12
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,168
[ Blow Landing,
Bender Grunting ]
Bender, stop!
13
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,337
- It's a baby!
- A baby what? Ow!
14
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:16,075
Oh, it's just a card!
From the orphanarium
I grew up in.
15
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:20,581
[ Recorded Baby Voice ]
Oh! Leela, you're invited
to a reunion...
16
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,418
at Cookieville Minimum-Security
Orphanarium.
17
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,019
[ Woman's Recorded Voice ]
Please stand clear of
self-destructing basket.
18
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,658
- [ Leela Whimpering ]
- A reunion at your old
orphanarium, eh?
19
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,495
You gonna go?
No way, Josébot.
20
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,764
I never want to see
those other orphans again.
21
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:39,599
Not after the way
they used to pick on me.
22
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,436
[ Children Chanting ]
One Eye, One Eye, One Eye!
23
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,938
Nice depth perception,
One Eye!
24
00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:46,973
[ Laughing ]
25
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:49,777
How can you
make fun of me, Kirk?
You're blind!
26
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:53,013
My eyes may not work,
but at least I got two of them.
27
00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:55,848
[ Laughing ]
28
00:01:55,948 --> 00:01:58,152
[ Sighs ]
Oh.
29
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,022
Aw, that's terrible, Leela.
30
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,825
But imagine the look
on their faces when you
show up with two friends...
31
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:07,227
who eat all the hors d'oeuvres.
Well.
32
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:10,330
I wouldn't mind
rubbing my success in
a few choice faces.
33
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,400
Set a course
for adventure!
34
00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:16,036
[ Banging,
Whirring ]
35
00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:18,671
[ Hooting ]
36
00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,674
Ew!
[ Bender ]
What a dump!
37
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:24,044
[ Sighing ] Oh!
Just like old times.
38
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:28,581
Gosh.
The bars on the windows seemed
so much thicker back then.
39
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:32,019
[ Clears Throat ]
Mr. Vogel?
40
00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:34,222
- Remember me?
- Leela!
41
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,223
You're worthless, and no one
will ever love you!
42
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:40,427
[ Laughing ]
You used to say that
all the time.
43
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,663
Ah! Those were
happier days.
44
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,997
** [ Band ]
45
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:53,841
Mm. The "gristle in a blanket"
isn't half-bad.
[ Swallowing ]
46
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:57,411
And try one of these popsicle
sticks. They've absorbed
quite a bit of flavor.
47
00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,681
Hey, look. It's our
old group picture.
48
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,084
I don't see you
anywhere.
49
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,387
That's me,
over in "Cootie-town."
50
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:09,188
Whoo! Get a load of
this average-looking guy.
51
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:12,592
That's Adlai Atkins.
I used to have kind of
a crush on him.
52
00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:15,728
[ Children ]
One Eye, One Eye!
53
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:21,634
Stupid as a French guy!
One Eye, One Eye,
One Eye, One Eye--
54
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:25,473
[ All Continue Chanting ]
55
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,807
[ Sighs Deeply ]
56
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,479
Well, it's time to say
hello to the old gang.
57
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:36,650
[ Gulping ]
58
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,824
So? What you been
up to since you
left the orphanarium?
59
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:47,295
Oh, livin' in a box,
fightin' the shakes. You?
60
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:50,062
Sellin' kidneys, teeth.
Whatever falls out of me.
61
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:54,468
And what am I up to,
you ask? Why, I'm a very
successful space captain.
62
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,469
Oh!
Wow!
63
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,105
How nice for you,
Leela.
That's so good...
64
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,140
for a person
with one eye.
65
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,412
Hey! You can't feel
sorry for me.
66
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:07,480
I'm a space captain, and
you're a bunch of losers.
67
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:12,118
Uh, right. Right.
We're the losers.
[ Coughs ]
68
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:16,790
Well, if it isn't
old One Eye.
[ Laughing ]
69
00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:20,293
Oh, yeah? Well,
shut up, Cane Boy!
70
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,329
He can't hear ya.
He's deaf now.
71
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,533
Leave Leela alone.
She's leading
a perfectly normal life.
72
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:29,269
She's not gussied up,
duded out, getting down,
or where it's at.
73
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,838
Now, run along.
74
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:37,511
Thanks, Adlai. I guess
you never really outgrow
being an eyeball--
75
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:41,213
- Oddball.
- Nonsense, you're
a space captain.
76
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:44,050
- That's a fine,
conventional profession.
- Well, you know.
77
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,620
It's just for
a package delivery service.
78
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,156
Ah-ah! A package is just
a box until it's delivered.
79
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,560
Huh! I'd never thought
of it that way.
80
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:54,627
So what do you do
these days?
81
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:58,331
- Oh, I'm a doctor.
- A tall doctor, you say.
82
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:01,134
[ Gulping ]
83
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,072
[ Laughing ]
84
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,074
Sir? You seem
pretty stable.
85
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,742
Have you thought about
adopting one of our kids?
Sure haven't.
86
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:13,413
Well, keep adoption in mind.
It's a great way to have a kid
without having sex.
87
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,415
Really?
88
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:19,353
Plus, the government
will help out with a small
stipend of $100 a week!
89
00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:22,689
A hundred dollars a week!
[ Gulping, Spitting ]
90
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,326
I'm so sorry
I teased you back then.
91
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,831
Let me make it up to you.
I can fix it so no one ever
makes fun of you again.
92
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,832
You mean, by beating them up?
93
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:36,504
Because I've broken that blind
kid's nose, like, ten times, and
it doesn't make any difference.
94
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:39,606
No, I specialize
in phaser eye surgery.
95
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:43,511
I can build you a paraffin
eye and graft it on
with skin from your foot.
96
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,879
It won't be able to see,
but you'll look like
a perfectly normal...
97
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,216
two-eyed person.
98
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:52,620
Me? Perfectly normal?
99
00:05:55,187 --> 00:05:57,625
Hmm.
100
00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:00,226
Hmm!
[ Children Cheering ]
101
00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:02,529
Sons, daughters,
meet Uncle Fry.
102
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,632
Hey, why are those kids
following you? Do you have
candy stuck to your ass?
103
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,468
No, it's called "parenting."
104
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:12,540
Come on, dumplings.
We've got 12 government
stipends to collect!
105
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:15,408
Yea!
Our daddy's a giant toy!
106
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,646
Phaser eye surgery
is a capital idea.
107
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:24,216
I'm sure Leela's
tired of morons gaping
at her eye all the time.
108
00:06:25,317 --> 00:06:27,254
Oh-h-h!
109
00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:29,790
I think cosmetic surgery's
great, Leela.
110
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:33,259
I used to be too cute,
so I had cuteness
reduction surgery.
111
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,463
Here and here.
112
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,566
You guys are crazy.
Leela doesn't need surgery.
113
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:42,836
You look great
the way you are.
Oh, that's so sweet, Fry.
114
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:45,404
But for once in my life,
I just want to look normal.
115
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:48,108
But you're
better than normal.
You're abnormal.
116
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:50,444
If you ask me, you shouldn't
care what other people think.
117
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,613
You're right! I'll start by
not caring what you think.
118
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,615
I'm getting the surgery!
119
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,685
That-a-girl!
Right on!
Good call.
120
00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:00,319
Wonderful. And while you're
under the knife,
121
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,322
you could also get
an ink pouch to help you
escape your enemies.
122
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,660
That's the stupidest
idea I've ever heard,
you imbecile!
123
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,798
Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo--
124
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:17,771
Now, we'll find out
if the operation
was a success!
125
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:20,507
Hold onto your hats.
126
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,519
- [ Shocked Gasping ]
- Oh! I'm sorry.
127
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:34,687
This is the wrong patient.
128
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,036
[ Gasping ]
129
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,177
Whoops!
130
00:07:57,276 --> 00:07:59,211
[ Squeaking ]
131
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,853
Leela, those eyes
look so great on you.
132
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,922
Bah! I think she looked
fine before.
133
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,824
[ All Disagreeing ]
134
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:13,593
Wow! Look at me!
135
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,062
Although I don't have
the hang of blinking yet.
136
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:20,167
You'll get it. Personally,
I try not to blink too much,
because it seems flashy.
137
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:22,569
But when I do, I enjoy it.
138
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,906
[ Gasping ]
Oh! I did it!
I blunk!
139
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,841
And just in time
to screw up
this picture I took.
140
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:33,446
- Hooray!
- ** [ "Pretty Woman" ]
141
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:47,527
* Pretty woman
Walkin' down the street *
142
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,597
- * Pretty woman
- [ All ] Ow! Ow! Ow!
143
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,567
* The kind I like to meet
Pretty woman *
144
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:58,238
* I don't believe you
You're not the truth *
145
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:02,142
* No one could look
as good as you *
146
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,980
* Mercy
147
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,150
* Oh, oh
Oh!
148
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:15,221
- * Pretty woman
- I've never felt
so unremarkable!
149
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:19,426
Today, I actually
blended in with a crowd!
[ Laughs ]
150
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:24,397
[ Giggling, Chattering ]
151
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,835
Kids, meet the jerkbags
I work with.
152
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,836
[ Together ]
Hello, jerkbags!
153
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:33,005
Oh! They're so cute!
What are their names?
154
00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:37,309
- Kids have names?
- My name is Nina,
and his name's Albert--
155
00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:39,647
And from now on,
you're all named
Bender Junior!
156
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:43,650
Looky here. My first
government stipend check.
157
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:47,153
Twelve baby humans,
1,200 wing-wangs.
158
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,692
Daddy Bender,
we're hungry!
159
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:56,163
What is it with you kids?
Every other day,
it's food, food, food!
160
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:01,500
Oh, fine. I'll get you
some stupid food.
161
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,370
Could we have
Bender Burgers again?
162
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,471
No! The cat shelter's
on to me.
163
00:10:09,341 --> 00:10:13,947
Hello, Leela. I was at
a nearby tailor, getting one of
my Hawaiian shirts toned down,
164
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,115
so I thought I'd drop in
for your follow-up exam.
165
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,518
[ Chuckling ]
Oh! That's so
handsome of you.
166
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,821
Just follow the light
with your eyes.
167
00:10:23,355 --> 00:10:27,326
Perfect! You know, a guy
could fall head over heels
for a gal like you.
168
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,562
As for me, I'm somewhat
interested myself.
169
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:32,532
- What are you saying?
- I've never been good
with words--
170
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,501
which is why I'm in
such a delicate conundrum.
171
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,570
- Will you go out with me
this Sunday?
- Sure!
172
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:41,240
- [ Gasps ]
- I don't know what else
to say, so I'll just say it.
173
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:44,476
Okeydokey, see you then.
174
00:10:44,576 --> 00:10:47,980
This is so unfair.
I liked you back
when you were a cyclops.
175
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,250
That guy's only interested
now that you have two eyes.
176
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,985
- You're just jealous.
- No, I'm not!
177
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:56,023
Oh, wait! I am!
But my point remains valid.
178
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:59,091
Fry, I just want to try
dating a normal man,
179
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:02,062
who, if you go
somewhere with him,
no one says he's crummy.
180
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,831
I think I deserve that
once in life.
181
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:08,836
Be careful with that
Adlai, Leela. He's a doctor.
They're very poor.
182
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:11,370
Actually,
most doctors are rich.
What?
183
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:15,207
When did this happen?
You're joking, right?
That's not funny!
184
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:20,047
Okay, they got
everything you need here.
185
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,048
Booze, a couple
of peanuts--
186
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:25,518
They got a crapper in the back.
That's one of the things
you kids do, right?
187
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,519
Yeah!
Then knock yourself out.
188
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,355
[ Screaming, Laughing ]
189
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:33,625
Hey! Hey! Only eat
and drink enough to barely
keep yourselves alive.
190
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:36,263
I'm tryin' to make
a profit here.
191
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,802
Daddy, Bethany's
hitting me!
192
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:46,874
Here.
[ Laughing ]
193
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,076
These kids yours?
Yeah.
194
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:52,611
Ooh. I'm attracted to
a man with responsibility.
195
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:55,783
That's me, baby.
Let me just ditch
the kids in an alley,
196
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,585
and we can go
have some fun.
[ Knocking ]
197
00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:00,653
Daddy Bender?
Son?
198
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:03,890
Daddy's tryin' to score
with a cheap floozy right now.
199
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,658
So he needs you to cram
a Tinkertoy in it.
200
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:09,395
I love you, Daddy Bender.
201
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,498
[ Laughing ]
Hey! What the hell
are you doin'?
202
00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:14,134
Quit huggin' me.
I guess you're busy.
203
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:18,071
- I'll catch you later.
- You morons! I don't know
what you're tryin' to pull,
204
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:22,174
but I got half a mind to hug
each and every one of you
and see how you like it!
205
00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:27,080
[ All ] Yea!
Aw, come on!
[ Growling ]
206
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,019
I thought I'd take you
someplace ordinary.
207
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:35,322
A place no one
could object to.
That sounds wonderful.
208
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:45,764
I'd like an
extra-beautiful bouquet, for
my extra-gorgeous sweetheart.
209
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,770
Average, please.
210
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:57,043
Oh, Adlai. I've had
a wonderful time today.
211
00:12:57,144 --> 00:13:00,179
No one's stared at me,
or avoided staring at me,
212
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,182
or tried to burn me--
213
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,817
You make me feel
so not weird.
214
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:09,990
Leela, you're 999,999
in a million.
215
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:23,336
[ Engine Whining,
Brakes Screeching ]
216
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,672
Thanks for comin' out
to get to know my boyfriend.
217
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:31,010
- Isn't he dreamy?
- Totally.
[ Munching Loudly ]
218
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:36,216
Uh, listen. I just want you
all to know, your Leela's
one standard lady.
219
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,551
Oh, Adlai!
Stop.
220
00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:41,187
What's so wonderful about
Leela being normal?
221
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:44,224
The rest of us aren't normal,
and that's what makes us great.
222
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:48,061
Like Dr. Zoidberg.
He's a weird monster who
smells like he eats garbage,
223
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,029
and does.
Damn right!
224
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:53,100
And the professor's
a senile, amoral crackpot.
225
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,836
Oh, ay, eeh, ay.
Hermes is
a Rastafarian accountant.
226
00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,106
Tally me banana!
Amy's a klutz from Mars.
227
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:03,676
- Oops!
- And Fry, you've got
that brain thing!
228
00:14:03,775 --> 00:14:07,179
I already did. So, Leela,
do you want to be like us?
229
00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:12,251
Or do you want to be like Adlai,
with no severe mental or social
problems whatsoever?
230
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:15,522
That's the dumbest question
I ever heard.
231
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,957
- She's right!
- No doubt about it!
- Daylight come.
232
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,260
Comin' through.
Watch your head.
233
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,797
- Help! I'm under attack!
- [ Disgusted Shouts ]
234
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:29,701
Remember your manners, kids.
Forks go in the left pocket,
spoons in the right.
235
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:34,106
Which one of you
cutie muffins gets
the children's spicy squab?
236
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,209
Me!
Ap-dap-dap-dap!
237
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,644
What do we say
when someone gives
you something?
238
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,313
'Bout time!
That's my boy!
239
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:44,484
And here's your check.
Bam!
240
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:47,486
[ Shocked Gasp ]
I gotta go poopy.
241
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:50,389
Well, you shoulda gone poopy
before it was time
to rat out on the check!
242
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,392
Come on! Go! Go!
Through the kitchen!
243
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:55,327
You little crooks!
If I catch you,
244
00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:57,830
I'm gonna make
cutie muffin gumbo!
245
00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,067
[ Bender Laughing
Wickedly ]
You know,
246
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,802
seeing that strange robot
force 12 children
to do his bidding...
247
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,836
makes me think about
kids of our own.
248
00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:08,441
Us? Me? You?
Kids?
249
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:12,078
That's correct.
It's time to stop living
this vida bachelor loca.
250
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,981
- Settle down and have kids.
- Oh, Adlai.
251
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,184
This is the most beautiful
moment of my life.
252
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,352
[ Zoidberg ]
Woo-woo-woo-
woo-woo-woo!
253
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,625
[ All Screaming ]
254
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:30,429
Daddy Bender, I want
a piggyback ride!
255
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:33,633
Daddy's tired. Let's just
have another dog pile on Fry.
256
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:38,270
[ Fry Groaning,
Children Laughing ]
257
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,974
Tell us a story,
Daddy Bender!
258
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:43,842
[ All Children ]
Story, story, story!
259
00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:47,313
All right, fine.
Gather around.
[ All ] Yea!
260
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,817
We wanna hear
this one again.
261
00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:55,154
[ Clearing Throat ]
"Bender's Arrest Record.
262
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,190
"By the Police.
263
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,558
"On March 3, at 2:00 p.m.,
264
00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:01,660
Bender was caught
shoplifting."
265
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,663
Yeah. Show us
the picture.
266
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,500
[ Hysterical Laughing ]
[ Boy ]
Oh, there he is.
267
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,503
Okay, kids.
It's 9:00, and you know
what that means.
268
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:13,206
Daddy's sick o' lookin' at ya.
So go to bed.
269
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,174
[ All ]
Aww!
270
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,677
The grown-ups have to talk.
Come on, Ma.
271
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,514
[ Light Switch Clicks ]
272
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:26,552
Now, to figure out
how much money I'm rakin' in
off those twerps. [ Chuckles ]
273
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,691
[ Muttering ]
274
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,094
Ow!
I need a calculator.
275
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:37,764
You a a calculator.
I mean,
a good calculator.
276
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:40,832
Minus the food,
the bunny rabbit wallpaper--
277
00:16:40,932 --> 00:16:43,370
[ Shocked Gasp ]
I'm gettin' a hundred
bucks a kid,
278
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:47,506
- and they're costin' me 110!
- Ugh. There goes my new
kitchen cabinets.
279
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:50,110
I'm not sittin' through
one more P.T.A. meeting!
280
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,445
The kids have
got to go.
281
00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:54,681
Daddy?
How do I flush you?
282
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,849
[ Stammering ]
Just go to bed!
283
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:03,090
[ Flushing Sound ]
284
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:13,400
You know, doing
this jigsaw puzzle of
a pacifier factory...
285
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,968
makes me
want to have children
with you all the more.
286
00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:17,936
Adlai, I was thinking.
287
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,374
Since we're both orphans,
maybe we should adopt a child.
288
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:24,277
Adoption?
Yes, that's acceptable.
289
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:28,615
Heck, it's more
than acceptable, it's
adequately satisfactory.
290
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,988
Hello? Imperial Dragon
Restaurant?
291
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,657
I've got a herd of
you-know-whats for sale.
292
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,826
Let me check.
293
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:43,829
Oh, aren't you a cutie?
294
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,932
About 35 pounds.
295
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:48,134
[ Tapping Metal ]
What?
296
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:52,471
- [ Yells Gibberish ]
- Hi, Bender. We'd like
to adopt a child.
297
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,641
Well, you've come
to the right place.
298
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:58,611
Because
Honest Bender's Orphanarium
means discount orphans.
299
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:02,914
Now, little lady, what do I
have to do to send you home
with 12 orphans today?
300
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,785
Uh, I'm afraid
we only want one.
Whatever you say, chief.
301
00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:07,787
I'll show you
what I got in stock.
302
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,088
I remember this
from when we were kids.
303
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,825
The warden would trot you out
in front of prospective parents,
304
00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:14,826
and they'd judge you
like a piece of meat.
305
00:18:14,926 --> 00:18:17,497
- I'm Albert.
- Kind of fatty.
306
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,166
Then how 'bout
this little number?
Purebred human.
307
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:24,971
- No vampire in there.
- Uh-- Mm--
- Hmm. Well, uh--
308
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:28,807
If you're strapped for cash,
you might want to consider
this irregular unit.
309
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:32,179
Cursed with a third ear,
but so full of that emotion...
310
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,846
I understand
is called "love."
311
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,116
One time, I did
a hundred jump ropes.
312
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:41,887
Oh! I can't decide!
We're gonna have to
think about it.
313
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,824
Okay, kids.
Grown-ups gotta talk now.
Time for bed.
314
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:48,394
- But it's 10:00 in the morning!
- I said, hit the hay!
315
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:51,330
[ Screaming, Laughing ]
316
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,536
[ Clicks ]
[ Leela ] Oh, they're
all so adorable!
317
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,837
Yeah. You know,
318
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:02,509
it's times like this,
I can hardly bear
to let them go.
319
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:05,377
Good night,
you princes of Maine!
320
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,846
You kings
of New New England!
321
00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,981
You're under arrest
for child cruelty,
322
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,519
child endangerment,
depriving children of food,
323
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:15,755
selling children as food
and misrepresenting
the weight of livestock.
324
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:19,526
- [ Electrical Buzzing ]
- If you had kids of your own,
you'd understand!
325
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,161
[ Buzzer Sounding ]
326
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:25,397
Officer, would it be
all right if we adopted
one of the kids?
327
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,000
Might as well.
They're just gonna rot
in the evidence locker.
328
00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:33,005
Nice ear!
Ha, ha, ha!
329
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:36,008
- Hey, Three Ears!
- [ All Taunting ]
330
00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:38,911
I've made up my mind.
Let's adopt her.
331
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:41,280
Her? But there's
plenty of normal ones.
332
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,517
Come on, Adlai.
She could really use
a mom and dad.
333
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:49,288
[ Children ]
Ear Face! Ear Face!
Sally won the ugly race!
334
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,758
On the other hand,
the children bring up
a good point.
335
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,861
She does have
an ear on her face.
Well? So what?
336
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:58,130
She may be different,
but she still deserves
a good home.
337
00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:01,067
Oh, all right. If you
really want that one,
338
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:03,068
I can give her an operation
to make her acceptable.
339
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:07,073
She doesn't need an operation!
She's fine the way she is.
340
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,476
Oh, and I suppose
you were fine
the way you were?
341
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,978
- Damn right I was!
- Yea!
342
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,547
Shut up, Fry.
Now, look, Adlai.
343
00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:19,151
I'm proud to be different.
And I just wish I'd realized
that when I was her age.
344
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:21,488
I also have a tail!
345
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:25,325
Now, take me to the hospital
and put my eye back
the way it was. Right now!
346
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,826
Why should I do that?
Listen, buddy.
347
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:31,230
By the end of the day,
one of us is gonna
have one eye!
348
00:20:33,164 --> 00:20:35,934
In recognition of
Bender's generous gift...
349
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:40,006
of 12 orphans and a government
check for 1,200 wing-wangs,
350
00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:43,075
I hereby rename
this building...
351
00:20:43,174 --> 00:20:46,313
the Bender B. Rodriguez
Orphanarium.
352
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,586
It's good to have
the old, weird-looking
Leela back.
353
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:56,188
Aw, you're
a true friend, Fry.
354
00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:58,857
I guess there's nothing wrong
with being a little weird.
355
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:02,295
Leela, there's nothing
wrong with anything.
356
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:07,299
We'll miss you, Daddy Bender.
We know robots don't
have emotions, but...
357
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,602
we drawed you
this picture.
358
00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:13,472
So if you ever miss us,
even just a teeny bit,
359
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:18,345
you can look at it.
Hey, I smoke a cigar,
not a candy cane. Sheesh!
360
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:24,282
[ Disappointed Groaning ]
361
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:39,665
[ Sighs ]
362
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,667
[ Children ]
Yea!
Hey, what the-- Whoa!
363
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:43,702
Get away! Come on.
364
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:46,005
I just got all
the gum off of there.
365
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:49,642
Hey! Hey!
[ Stammering ]
I hate you!
366
00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:51,844
I hate you all!
28827
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